Charade
by Cubit2
Summary: Danny goes undercover as a college professor. Based on previews for episode 6.9. Includes Eric Russo. Danny whump. Steve (and team) angst.
1. Chapter 1

Charade

Spoiler for upcoming episode 6.9 Hana Keaka (Charade) and a bit for ep 6.8

A/N No slash. Never have, never will. I wish there was a way to clearly identify slash fics on .

A/N After seeing the preview for Episode 6.9 Hana Keaka (Charade) I got a scene playing in my head so I put it down. It was really short, just the very first part of this first chapter (about 800 words), so I added some more and then some Danny whump. Hope you like it.

A/N I can't wait for this episode. It promises lots of Danny and looks like it will allow Scott to spread his wings. Read an article recently where Claire Van der Boom said that H50 allows Scott to improvise and do his own thing because it's "such gold". She said that playing opposite him is daunting because she never knows what he will bring. For me, watching him improvise and ad lib as he pretends to be a college professor will definitely be gold! "This has epic fail written all over it!" Love it!

A/N I don't own rights to any of the characters.

H50 H50 H50

The team stood around the high tech table as Steve summarized the situation. A college professor had been killed. Danny's nephew Eric was in the class. It appeared that there was more to it than just the murder. Steve finished his summary with the statement, "We need somebody on the inside. Danny you make the most sense."

"Woah, woah woah," Danny said, hands up in protest. "Have you lost your mind? A college professor? I barely graduated high school."

"This is a Criminal Justice course. It needs an expert in criminal procedure. That's you," Steve pointed out.

"I get that you can't do it because you're not a cop and you wouldn't know proper procedure if it hit you upside the head, but what about Lou? He knows procedure."

"Does he look like a college professor to you?" Steve asked in reply.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lou asked.

"You want to do it? Go ahead," Danny offered.

"No, this is all yours Williams," Lou threw back.

"What about Chin, then? He's been a police officer for a long time." Danny kept trying.

"Chin played football at Hawaii U. His face is on some pictures there. Won't work. And before you even try, everybody knows Kono from her surfing days," Steve laid it out for him.

"So, you're saying I'm the perfect choice because I'm a nobody?"

"I'm saying you're the perfect choice because you know criminal procedure better than any of us, better than anybody I know. No offense to any of you," Steve said to the rest of the team.

They all waved off his comment. They knew he was right about Danny's expertise. He had a very high conviction rate in Newark and Five-O had a high conviction rate here because of Danny's knowledge and understanding.

"Seems to me there has to be a better way to do this," Danny protested.

"Oh stop whining Danny. This is college, not the mob."

"Yeah, replacing a college professor who got KILLED," Danny pointed out.

"Danny, you're the only one who's done real undercover work," Steve added his ace card. Kono's 15 minutes in front of Sang Min on her first day with Five-O didn't really count. "Your other work was dangerous, this is not."

"Famous last words, buddy," Danny told him.

"You've gone undercover before?" Lou asked, impressed.

"Yeah. Russian mob case was the longest. Did a few others too." Danny shrugged.

"He even learned to speak some Russian," Steve added with pride.

"You speak Spanish too, right?" Kono asked.

"Half the kids I grew up with spoke Spanish. You learn a few things."

"Things ever get 'hairy' undercover?" Abby asked. This was intriguing.

Danny nodded and started to speak but Chin interrupted.

"Seems to me that's a story for a team outing sometime." Chin was just maybe getting a bit jealous of Abby's interest in Danny's story. He turned to Danny now. "You have the knowledge and experience, Danny. Nobody else does."

Danny sighed. He was honored by the praise and he knew he wasn't going to win this argument. "Okay, okay. I'll do it."

"Don't see you as a Princeton type," newcomer/observer Abby said. "No offense. So, are you a Rutgers grad?" She knew he was from New Jersey so she mentioned their state university. "Great school."

"You play baseball there?" Kono asked now.

"They recruited me," Danny admitted, "but I didn't go. There was no money for that. There was enough money when Matty's turn came but I needed to work."

"How'd you get into the Police Academy then?" Chin asked.

"In Newark you don't have to have a bachelor's degree. An associates degree and related work experience can be enough. I worked security full time at the Budweiser brewery and went to Essex County College at night. After two years I was accepted into the Academy." Danny shrugged. It wasn't a glowing success story but he had done the best he could with what he had. A college degree wasn't the only way to a successful career.

"None of that matters," Steve said. "We'll be creating a back story for you anyway. So, you need a name, educational background, home town. All that stuff. You can go home at night to your house or we can set you up somewhere else if you prefer."

"My house is fine. When I have the kids, I have to be there."

"You sure?" Abby asked. "You might not want to get your kids involved."

Danny threw his hands in the air. "I have no idea how long this will take and that's fine with me, but I have no intention of not seeing Grace and Charlie." He turned to Steve now. "You ask me to do that and the whole thing's off."

Now it was Steve's turn to hold his hands up. "Hold on, buddy. I'd never ask you to stay away from them. You know that." He then turned and glanced at Abby. "Family first, is the code we work by". She was here as an observer so she could help her own State Task force that was being created so she was still learning the ropes.

"We'll keep an eye on things when the kids are around. Don't worry, brah," Chin assured Danny.

"I think we need to keep his background as New Jersey or New York. He's got that way about him," Lou said with a smirk. "That mind-set."

"Doesn't matter to me," Danny said.

"But having you come from somewhere else you'll have to do a bit of local dialect to be true to your cover. Not worth the effort, man," Lou added.

"Good point," Steve agreed. "We'll keep you from New Jersey. How about Camden?" He remembered Danny mentioning it recently so at least he was familiar with it.

Danny nodded. "Works for me."

"You should make your name Jeffries. Professor Jeffries," Kono said. "It suits you."

Danny shrugged. It was a very generic name and it didn't make much difference to him.

"You want to be a Princeton grad?" Chin offered as he typed on the smart board table.

Danny laughed. "No way. I've been told I'm not the Princeton type." He gave Abby a friendly wink. "Rutgers is fine."

"I think you should wear glasses," Kono offered now with a smile. She was really getting into this. "You'd look good in glasses. And you have a ton of ties so you can wear those. Very sophisticated."

Danny laughed again. "I don't think anyone has ever called me sophisticated before."

"If you're going home to your house then we need to put the kids into your new cover," Steve said as Chin continued to create the undercover persona on paper.

"I'll get you a driver's license and create a bank account and get you a credit card in the name of Jeffries," Chin said. Then I'll link it to the Five-O account.

"Credit card?" Lou said with a laugh. "I'm meeting you for lunch, Williams. You're buying."

"Always a pleasure," Danny laughed back.

Danny had been undercover as Professor Jeffries for a couple weeks now. His nephew Eric was in his class because he had already been enrolled but it was kind of nice to have him around –when the kid wasn't speaking up and making trouble in class just to annoy him, that is. He had actually helped them with some information and insights from the student side.

Danny had done well with the class. He actually rather enjoyed the teaching, enjoyed the interaction with inquisitive, eager, open young minds. The students seemed to respond well to him. Some of the young women seemed to have an un-professorial interest in him, which was surprising yet flattering. He'd worked hard to handle it professionally.

He had jumped right in to try to form connections with some of the other professors as well. Anyone was a possible source of information so all needed to be tapped. He had even headed out to lunch with a few of them.

They had figured out the mystery behind the murder and the other crimes involved – a campus presence that had its hand in the drugs and arms trades. It appeared that it might be connected to Gabriel but they did not yet have proof. They were getting close though. Danny's position inside the university was garnering quite a bit of information that would put a number of people away for quite some time.

Those people were getting wind of the fact that this new professor was asking a lot of questions and seemed to be figuring out who was involved in the organization. They needed to stop him before he got too far.

Danny was standing in the classroom, writing some information on the whiteboard behind his desk. It all reminded him so much of his school days but he was surprised that the room wasn't at least a bit hi-tech. Class was due to start soon so he wanted to finish with the board before the students came in. He didn't even turn around when the door opened, intent on finishing what he was writing. "I'll be right with you," he said. It was probably the same young woman who had come to him asking for 'extra help' yesterday in a voice way too sultry for a 19 year old he thought.

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of Danny's neck stood up. Something wasn't right. He started to turn and saw movement behind him, a flicker of light glinting off metal.

Tbc – just because so many of you like some Danny whump


	2. Chapter 2

A/N I don't own rights to any of the characters.

A/N Thank you so much for all the reviews and favorites and follows. It's humbling. With limited time today I decided to finalize this extra long chapter and post it rather than reply individually to each review.

A/N Sorry if the medical parts are wrong. Don't learn emergency medicine from me.

H50 H50 H50

Danny just started to turn when he felt a white-hot searing pain tear through his back just to the left of his right shoulder blade. If he hadn't started to turn, the knife now embedded in the back of his shoulder would have been right through his spine below his neck. He'd be dead.

Time seemed to stop for a moment, or did it speed up? Danny wasn't really sure. He had no clue what sound escaped his lips – a gasp, a grunt, a cry, a scream, - no clue at all. He had no chance to stay upright. The force of the attack, the sheer brutality of it, the utter shock of it, made his legs fail instantly. His vision grayed and he fell.

Danny collapsed to the floor, landing on his left side. Blinding pain. Graying vision. He forced himself to focus on the now retreating form of his attacker. Apparently, their investigation and conclusions had been accurate because this was the same young man who they thought had killed the previous professor. Fortunately, the man must have thought Danny was dead because he fled the room, as quickly as he had come, escaping into the nearly empty hall.

The knife still embedded in his back, Danny tried to move. He could literally feel the knife cut deeper and he let out a startled anguished cry. He couldn't move. Just lying still and breathing was excruciating. His cell phone was on his desk behind him but it might as well have been on Maui for all the chance he had of getting to it. He knew he was bleeding badly, he could feel it soaking the back of his dress shirt and dripping across his back to the floor beneath him. Oh man, it hurt!

He focused on his breathing, trying to keep it slow and easy. In. Out. In. Out. Oh man it still hurt! He lay on the floor alone, bleeding and in pain, focusing on breathing. Focusing on staying conscious. Focusing on whatever would keep him alive until help came to get the knife out and sew him back up so he'd stop leaking so much blood all over the floor.

Five minutes later, Eric Russo whistled as he walked down the hall towards the classroom. He was early but that was planned. He could spend a few minutes with his uncle this way. Danny, Uncle D to Eric, had always been his favorite. He was tough and smart and caring and honest to a fault. His sarcastic wit had no match. He was everything Eric hoped to be. If he ended up half the man his uncle was, he would be a good man. He was proud that his uncle, and all of Five-O had brought him into the inner circle on this case rather than asking him to drop the class. Sure, he had given his uncle a bit of a hard time in class, but nothing that might break his uncle's cover.

He opened the classroom door and was surprised not to see his uncle standing at the board or sitting at his desk. He wasn't sure if he saw him or heard him first and it really didn't matter. "Uncle D!" Eric felt nauseous but he dropped his bag and moved quickly to his fallen uncle. "Uncle D?"

Danny tried to speak when he heard the door open, but he could get nothing to come out. He then heard his nephew's voice and he managed a groan. When Eric knelt next to him he was able to get his voice to work. "Eric?" he said softly.

"Oh shit, Uncle D, there's so much blood," Eric immediately began to panic. He stood up and paced, mumbled curses flowing freely.

"Eric? Calm down Eric," Danny said from the floor.

Eric kept pacing. He couldn't deal with this. He'd never seen anything like this in his life and he hoped he never did again. The crime lab was cool, exciting, fun and safe. He could never, ever be a cop and see things like this. No way. No how.

"Eric?" Danny tried again, but his nephew was too shocked to listen. "Damn it Eric Calm do…." Danny shouted before he gasped in pain. He had to battle yet again to get his breathing under control, to not give in to the darkness.

But it did the job, it got Eric's attention. "Okay, okay. I got this Uncle D." Eric promised. He took a deep breath, held it and let it out slowly, just like Danny had taught him to do when anxiety threatened to overwhelm him. A few more times and he was back in control of himself. Eric reached down and removed the fake glasses and then gently loosened Danny's tie and unbuttoned the top button of his dress shirt in an effort to help him breathe better and be more comfortable. Sweat was already glistening off his uncle's face, neck and chest.

He wanted to apply pressure to the wound to help it stop bleeding but that was not possible with the knife in there. It looked so unbelievably painful, but he knew it was too dangerous to remove it. Suddenly, he had an idea. He slipped Danny's tie off and wrapped it carefully around the knife where it met Danny's back, then applied pressure to the tie in hope that it could help slow the bleeding. He was very careful not to touch the knife for two reasons. For one because it would cause more pain, but also because he wanted to maintain any fingerprints there might be on the handle of the knife. Danny groaned loudly and writhed painfully. "Damn it Eric, what are you doing?" he ground out.

"Trying to stop the bleeding." It wasn't doing much. He then remembered that he was wearing two shirts so he pulled the top one off and wrapped it carefully above the tie and pressed again, eliciting another pained groan. He hated hurting his uncle but he had to slow the bleeding.

Danny had been injured before, even stabbed before, but this was bringing pain to new heights. A knife in your back would do that, he thought wryly. Breathing was so incredibly painful that he found himself holding his breath, but then when forced to breathe again, the pain was unbearable. He nearly passed out, his eyes closing.

"Uncle D, stay with me," Eric pleaded, keeping himself calm and grasping Danny's left hand. Danny opened his eyes. "That's it, Uncle D. That's it. Stay with me."

Danny focused on restoring a calm, easy rhythm to his breathing.

Letting go of Danny's hand but continuing to apply pressure around the knife with his other hand Eric pulled his cell phone from his pocket to call for help. "Damn. No service."

"Service stinks in this building," Danny told him.

Eric looked at the door. He knew to get service he'd have to leave the room, go down the hall to the stairs, down the two flights and out the door before he could call. He considered pulling the fire alarm but that wouldn't really help. Damn! He looked down at Danny again. His eyes were closed. "Uncle D, you gotta stay with me. Come on. I know it hurts dude but you gotta stay with me. Grace and Charlie need you. That's it," he then said as Danny opened his eyes again. He was torn. He needed to get help for his uncle but he was afraid to leave him alone.

Just then the door opened and Eric's dilemma was solved. "Wait," he shouted to the young man and woman entering the room. He released Danny's hand and removed his other hand from Danny's back, and stood up, holding one bloody hand out in front of him, he reached in his pocket and pulled out his wallet with the cleaner of his two hands. Opening it, he exposed his HPD identity card. "I work with HPD Crime Scene Unit and I need you to stay right there. This is a crime scene."

At his feet, Danny groaned in pain.

"Is that Professor Jeffries?" the woman asked, looking like she was about to be sick. She averted her eyes. She couldn't look.

"Yes," Eric confirmed, still showing them his ID. "But, he's actually an undercover detective. Danny Williams."

Both young people looked stunned at the undercover revelation. "Is he gunna die?" She now asked.

"Not if I have anything to do about it," Eric said with an edge to his voice. He didn't like the question. He didn't want to even think about losing his uncle.

He addressed the woman again. "I need you to go outside and call 911. Use the words 'officer down'. Tell them that Detective Williams has been seriously wounded and needs help right away. Ask them to contact Steve McGarrett at Five-O, also." He spoke calmly, adopting the professional demeanor he so admired in his uncle. "Then wait for them and bring them directly to this room when they arrive. Can you do that?" Eric put the wallet back in his pocket.

The young woman nodded, repeating the highlights. "Officer down. Detective Williams. Five-O."

"Thank you," he said as she turned and hurried out of the room. She appeared thankful to be away from the gruesome sight.

The man with her started to move towards them now. "A cop, huh? That's wild. We should get that knife out of his back, man. I'll hold him down while you pull."

"No!" Eric said forcefully. "It will make the bleeding even worse. Look, I know you want to help, but this is a crime scene. You think you can find me a sweater, a jacket, a towel, anything I can put under his head and make him a bit more comfortable until EMT's arrive? Then I need you to stand outside the door and not let anybody in until the police get here and can take over the scene. Can you do that?"

Danny groaned again at his feet and he bent down and grasped his hand again. "Helps coming. Just hang in there." He looked up at the man again. He hadn't moved. "Can you get me something for his head and then watch the door for me? Keep the crime scene pure. It'll help us find out who did this."

"Yeah, yeah sure."

"Thank you."

It didn't take long for him to come back in with a sweatshirt that somebody had offered. "We really like Professor Jeffries or whoever he really is," he said. "Let us know if there's anything else we can do to help out."

Eric was tempted to ask for someone to come in and sit with him and Danny but he knew the importance of keeping people out of a crime scene if at all possible. There was nothing anybody could do for his uncle until the ambulance got there except be with him. "Thanks. If I think of anything, I'll let you know. Just send the EMT's in as soon as they come."

Eric nearly collapsed next to Danny when the young man exited the room. Through the window in the door he could see him standing right outside. Good. He wanted to curl up in a ball and cry but he had to hold it together for his uncle. Had to hold it together because he was a professional. He had his uncle to thank for that. The man had always been there for him, especially after his father died. Even 5000 miles away, Uncle D was always there for him.

"I got something to put under your head," Eric told his uncle. "Can't be too comfortable lying on that hard floor." Especially with a knife in your back, he added in his head. "You think if I pick your head up and slide this under that it'll be okay? I don't want to make things worse for you."

"It's good, yeah," Danny agreed, keeping his speaking to a minimum.

"Just let me do all the work," Eric said as he gently began to lift Danny's head with one hand and slide the sweatshirt under with the other. Danny moaned slightly but that was it.

Eric thought he definitely looked more comfortable with his head at a better angle and with his head lying on something soft.

The pain was pulling Danny under. He fought hard, trying not to give in to it, but his vision was graying and he felt light headed. He needed to tell Eric what he knew in case he couldn't do it later. He didn't know how long he could remain conscious. "Eric?" he whispered, then groaned at the pain it caused.

"It's okay, Uncle D. Don't try to talk. Just hold on."

"Have to." Danny squeezed Eric's hand, trying to get him to move closer so he didn't have to speak so loud. It hurt too much with a knife in his back. "Tell Steve we were right. Saw him." That's all Danny could manage. A tear slipped from his eye as he groaned again.

"You saw the guy who did this?" Eric asked. He had to get the message straight.

Danny whispered very softly. "Yeah. It was him."

Eric remembered the bleeding now and reached his hand around the knife again and pressed. Danny lurched in pain, which caused an indescribable agony and he cried out. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," Eric said, panic arising anew. He didn't know what to do. This was all so new to him. He didn't know how much longer his uncle could hold on. "Helps coming Uncle D. Please just hold on," he begged.

Eric could see that Danny was trying to speak again so he leaned closer.

Danny gripped Eric's hand hard. "Tell Grace and Charlie, Danno loves them."

Eric didn't like the sound of that. "No way Uncle D. Just no way! Don't you dare give up on me." He had tears in his eyes now. "Don't you dare."

"Not giving up," Danny whispered painfully. "Steve will kill me if I die." He chuckled softly at the thought and Eric followed suit.

"Yeah, he would, wouldn't he?" Eric agreed.

The door opened then and a police officer walked in. Before the door closed, Eric could see the growing crowd outside the door held at bay now by a police officer. "Eric Russo, CSU," Eric quickly identified himself. He nodded his head at his uncle. "Detective Danny Williams."

"Yeah, I know him. Good man," the officer said. "How's he doing?"

"I don't know. He needs a doctor, not me."

"Eric?" Danny said softly.

"I'm right here, Uncle D." He squeezed Danny's hand tighter.

"You're his nephew?" the officer asked. At Eric's nod he went on. "He told us about you. Sorry I didn't connect the name."

Eric waved it off. Danny had told the others about him. Danny was proud of him. The thought made his heart soar. He looked up at the police officer now. "You have an evidence bag? We should cover the handle of this knife. Might have fingerprints."

"Good thinking," the officer said as he pulled one out.

The officer bent down next to Danny now and began to cover the knife handle with the evidence bag. Just a slight touch of the knife had Danny writhing and gasping in pain.

"I'm sorry Detective," the officer said as he left the bag where it was, unsecured, over the handle and lifted his hands away. "I won't go near it again. I'm sorry."

"S'okay," Danny managed.

Eric spoke again to the officer. "Do you think this building has security footage that we could review? Might help us find the s.o.b. who did this. My uncle recognized the man but it would be good to have more evidence against him too and find out where he went."

Eric had no authority to order the officer to do anything, but the idea was a valid and intelligent one and had been presented professionally. "If you're okay in here I could go find out," he offered.

"Thanks."

He had not ben gone long when the door opened again and Steve and Lou walked in. They had already been on their way to the campus to do some more interviews when they got the call. Steve's heart was in his throat when he saw his best friend on the floor with a knife in his back. "Oh my God," he prayed.

"Amen," added Lou, equally appalled at the sight.

"Commander!" Eric nearly jumped for joy, somehow feeling that everything would be all right now that Steve was here.

Steve faltered after they stepped through the doorway. He had pushed Danny into this undercover operation. Harassed and cajoled until he agreed. He'd even mocked Danny's discussion of danger. "This is my fault," he said to Lou.

Lou put a reassuring hand on Steve's shoulder and whispered to him. "Danny's a big boy. He knew full well what he was getting himself into. Don't demean his courage by making it about you."

The softly spoken but blunt words battled Steve's inner guilt trip inside his head.

Danny heard Eric say Commander. Thought he heard Steve's voice, yet he wasn't there. Where was he? He needed his best friend. Why wouldn't he come to him? "Steve?" Danny's voice was a pained, husky whisper. He lifted his head to find Steve and a blinding agony swirled through him.

"He needs you, man," Lou told Steve a bit harshly as he pushed him towards their fallen teammate. Steve finally let go of the guilt. Lou was right. He should honor Danny's courage.

"Danno!" Steve said, finally finding his voice. "Don't try to move," he admonished as he knelt down next to Eric. He didn't try to displace Eric's hold of Danny's hand. Instead he gently stroked Danny's sweat soaked hair back from his eyes. "I'm here Danno. You're gunna be all right. Just hang in there. Medics are right behind us."

Steve did a quick visual assessment of his best friend. There was a copious amount of blood. The knife wound was serious. Fortunately, it had missed his spinal cord but it was deeply embedded and most certainly did some real damage. He could see that his normally very active partner was doing his very best to stay perfectly still. Made sense since each movement would cause the knife to cut a bit more into his flesh.

Danny's breathing was labored, hindered by the pain. Sweat poured off of his face, neck and chest. The front of his shirt was as soaked with sweat as the back was with blood. With closer observation, Steve noticed a small pooling of blood where his left arm was wedged under his chest as he lay on his side.

Gently unbuttoning Danny's shirt further, he pulled back the left side as gently as possible and took a look. There was no wound but there was a small trickle of blood making it's way down across Danny's chest. Now lifting the right side of the shirt with equal care Steve made a horrifying discovery.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I don't own rights to any of the characters.

A/N Thanks for all the reviews, favorites and follows. Again, I decided to post instead of replying directly to each review. I'll try to get to you, though. Going away this weekend so I wanted to get this one up.

H50 H50 H50

The tip of the knife was poking through the front of Danny's chest near his shoulder. The knife had gone all the way through! That was a serious, full-sized butcher knife. Steve swallowed back his own feelings of anger, helplessness, anxiety and even panic – all the things he had trained himself not to feel until this man, now lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, somehow found his way into this heart and cracked it wide open. No, he couldn't let these feelings show, couldn't let them invade his thoughts. He had to keep them stowed away until he got his best friend the help he needed.

Thankful that Danny's eyes were closed at the moment and he hadn't noticed what Steve had found, Steve exchanged a worried glance with Lou and Eric whose thoughts ran along the same line - Danny desperately needed real medical help as soon as possible. That knife did some major damage.

"Saw him," Danny ground out through gritted teeth, but it was barely audible.

Startled out of his thought, Steve wasn't sure what he had said. "Huh?" He let go of the shirt. Danny didn't need to have to deal with this now.

Eric spoke up now. "He told me before that he saw the man who did this. He's your guy. You guys were right."

"Yeah," Danny confirmed. "Have enough?" Opening his eyes, he looked at Steve.

Steve knew he was talking about evidence. Evidence against the whole gang. Danny was the expert at determining that. "That's your job to decide, not mine, so I expect you to do it. You hear that? And when you testify, I'm sure that will put this guy away for doing this to you, too."

"Try," Danny mumbled, eyes closing again.

"You damn well better do more than try Williams!" Lou now spoke from where he stood, "Nobody else can deal with him," he pointed at Steve, not that Danny could see that, "as a partner for long so you better get yourself healed up and back in the saddle real quick."

Danny smirked. The verbal kick in the pants doing exactly what Lou had intended. "He is difficult, isn't he? Thought I'd have him broken in by now but he's a special hard case." The speaking wore him out though and he groaned, then coughed.

Steve was ready to jump in and defend himself, but Danny's groan brought him back to the problems at hand. He soothed Danny's forehead as he spoke. "Lou, call Chin. He, Kono and Abby should try and pick this guy up. Tell them to be careful."

"On it," Lou said as he left the room, having no service in the building.

Steve noticed the evidence bag hanging loosely over the knife handle. "Your idea?" he asked Eric.

"Yeah. We can't secure it though. It's… He…"

Steve knew what he meant. Touching the knife to secure it would cause way too much pain. "Good idea. Don't worry though. We can secure it when we get some of the good stuff in him."

Steve and Eric stayed with Danny, helping him the best they could. Soon, Lou returned, his call finished.

Shortly after that, the HPD officer returned. He noticed Steve and knew him as the head of Five-O. Personally, he liked dealing with Williams better, the guy was a hilarious ball of energy, but he still respected Steve, so he addressed him with his findings. "Commander McGarrett, the school has recordings of all the hallways on a 48 hour loop. I asked permission to review them and I was told we could do that now if we liked. No need for a court order."

"Great thinking Officer. I like your initiative," Steve told him.

"Actually, it was Mr. Russo's idea."

It took Steve a moment to realize he meant Eric. "Nice work, Eric," he said proudly.

"Eric was a real pro," Danny whispered almost too soft to hear. He looked Eric right in the eye now unable to speak much more.

Steve clapped Eric on the back. The kid definitely had some of his uncle in him. "It was your idea, Eric. Do you want to go review the tapes or should we get someone else from CSU to come down and do it? Whomever it is will need to coordinate with Chin and Kono."

Eric debated for a moment. If they wanted to use the tapes to help find the guy, it would be most helpful to start right away, but he hated to leave his uncle's side. Then again, Steve was here and Eric knew that he and his uncle were really close, especially after Uncle Matty had died. He would be proud to be the one to help find the guy who had tried to kill his uncle. He leaned down to speak to Danny. "I want to find the guy who did this so he doesn't hurt anybody else. Will you be okay if I go do my job?" he asked with a hint of pride.

"Yeah," Danny answered softly. "Thanks, Eric. I'm proud of you"

"Thanks Uncle D."

Eric looked at Lou. "Would you mind taking over here?" He nodded to where he was holding the sodden shirt to try and stop the bleeding. Lou nodded and obliged.

"Hang in there Uncle D."

He spoke to Steve now. "Take good care of him, huh?" Steve nodded as Eric moved away.

Eric took one last look behind him and headed out the door, the HPD officer in tow. He would wash the blood off his hands and then help nail the guy who put it there.

Steve watched Eric leave and then looked down at Danny and noticed that his eyes were closed, fading out again. He grasped Danny's left hand that Eric had just released. "Stay with me, buddy. Come on. Talk to me, Danno."

"Don't call me Danno," Danny said as he managed to open his eyes. "You Neanderthal animal. 'Stop your whining Danny.' 'It's college, not the mob.' 'It's perfectly safe.' Seriously Steven?" Danny stopped talking and coughed. Speaking took a lot out of him, as the knife seemed to cut deeper with every word, every breath, every cough.

"Easy Danno. Easy."

"Do me a favor, huh?" Danny asked.

"Anything," Steve said. He knew Danny. He knew this would be good.

"Just admit that college is more dangerous than the Russian mob."

Yep, that was a good one. Steve shook his head. He knew that this was just how Danny blew off steam. He knew that Danny did not hold anything against him and would never really blame him. But, he also knew that Danny was going to make him say the words anyway. "Danny, I'm sor…"

But Danny cut him off, with a giggle. 'Teachers are scary, man. Way more scary than the freakin' mob. Teachers want you to sit still and listen. Sit still? Seriously?" A cough ended his rant prematurely. He then moaned softly.

"Yeah. Just crazy, right?" Lou said with a laugh. He could just picture a young Danny trying to sit still in class. As a man, Danny could barely sit still for ten minutes. His body, his hands, his mouth, even his facial expressions were in constant motion. How difficult would it have been for him as a child?

Danny settled before speaking again. "Ya know the weird part? I actually enjoyed teaching. It makes no sense. I hated school. But teaching? I liked that."

"You're certifiable Williams," Lou told him in response.

"Something like that," agreed Steve with a laugh.

Danny's left hand was numb and his left shoulder and arm ached from having his body weight on it against the hard floor for so long but he couldn't dare change positions. He flexed the fingers on his left hand to try and get some circulation back and then instinctively tried to do the same with his right hand. Lying on his side as he was, his right hand was within his vision and he realized that his fingers weren't moving.

"Steve? Steve?" Danny called with more volume than he had managed for a while.

Steve noticed the anxious tone to his best friend's voice. "Easy buddy. I'm right here."

"Steve, I can't move my hand." He was really starting to panic now, adrenaline pumping, his body telling him to move, to fight.

"Whoa, whoa, hold still man, just hold still," Lou uttered soothingly as he felt Danny shift. He moved his right hand away from Danny's back and gently but firmly pressed on Danny's right hip to keep him from squirming. "Just hold still. That's it bro."

Still grasping Danny's left hand with his left, Steve moved his right hand from where he had been gently brushing Danny's sweat soaked brow. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, he took Danny's right hand in his, making sure he was very gentle. Danny's hand was cold.

"I don't feel your hand Steve. Damn it, I can't feel anything." Eyes wide, sheer terror setting in, Danny was starting to breathe too fast – hyperventilating.

"Danny? Danny? Look at me buddy. Come on Danno. Look at me," Steve pleaded, knowing he needed to keep Danny as still as possible, his voice catching in his throat. He let go of Danny's right hand and gently stroked Danny's head again. "That's it," he said as Danny focused his eyes on Steve's. "Match my breathing Danno. Come on, you can do it." Steve forced himself to breathe slowly so Danny could follow along.

Danny strained to do as Steve requested. It was so hard. He was in terrible pain and so incredibly scared. He couldn't move his right hand, couldn't even feel it. Would he lose the use of his right hand forever? How could he be a cop if he only had one hand? But focusing on Steve helped him calm himself, as he so desperately needed to do. In. Out. In. Out. Slowly, slowly, slowly.

"Lou?" Danny asked, having managed to calm down a bit and gain some control.

"I'm right here," Lou answered.

"Think this might be time for some of those prayers you like to say?" Danny asked sincerely. Danny wasn't much of a believer anymore, not since God had turned a deaf ear to his pleas for Billy Selway's life, but somehow, now, it seemed to be the only chance he had.

"Sure thing Danny," Lou agreed, sniffing. He didn't use his first name often, but somehow it felt right at this moment. The thought of Danny losing the use of his right arm was too much to handle.

At that moment the doors opened, and two EMT's entered, bathed in the light from the hallway behind them.

"Thank God," Steve said, with a half laugh, half sob. Had God answered Danny's show of faith that quickly?

"What we got?" the first EMT asked.

"Detective Danny Williams, Five-O. 39 years old. No allergies. Wound went through." Steve knew the drill and gave the basic pertinent information. "No feeling or movement in his right hand. Left hand is getting numb from the position he's in, but no injury there."

Lou gave up his spot behind Danny to one of the EMT's and then put his hand on Steve's shoulder to encourage him to do the same. All the Five-O members were close but Lou knew that Steve and Danny were even closer with each other. He had never had a friendship quite like that but he didn't begrudge it of the two men. It was a bond he truly admired. But, bond or not, they needed to allow the experts to do their job.

Steve allowed the EMT to move into his spot in front of Danny but he wasn't going to move far. He slid over to sit by Danny's head, maintaining contact there. He knew if he was lying there in a pool of his own blood he would want to feel Danny's constant physical presence.

The EMT's set to work quickly and efficiently, obtaining information, checking his vitals and sliding a needle into the back of Danny's left hand to establish an IV line with saline and another with a morphine drip.

"Danny? This morphine should start kicking in, but we have to move you and I won't lie. It's still going to hurt. We'll do the best we can but you'll just have to hang in there." The EMT was straight to the point. He then turned to his partner. "So, how are we going to do this?" It certainly wasn't going to be easy.

"Can't we just put the backboard down and roll him onto it on his stomach?" Lou suggested.

"Won't work," the EMT replied. "We can't move his right arm that far out of the way and we can't allow it to end up under him. We have to keep him on his side until they can get that knife out in the OR. We will use the board though. We won't have to lift him as far and can just slide it under him, then move him to the gurney."

"Just tell us what you want us to do and we'll help," Steve told them.

"Ideally, we'd wrap his right arm against his body so it can't move but there's no way to do that without moving him too much. We'll have to hold it in place manually."

The EMT then spoke to the patient. "Danny, I'm going to move your right arm so it's up against your body and then I'm going to ask you to hold it in place the best you can with your left."

"Okay," Danny whispered painfully in reply.

The EMT then moved Danny's right arm as gently as he could, but the movement still elicited a cry of pain, which Danny fought to stifle back down. A part of Steve wanted to deck the EMT but he knew he was doing what he had to do.

"Alright, that's good. I know it hurts but you're doing well," the EMT said.

"Steve?" Danny asked.

"Right here, Danno."

"Good." Just having Steve there anchored him.

"Okay," the EMT said. "We'll need one of you to slide the board under as soon as we have him lifted. We don't want to have to shift him too much."

"I'll do that," Lou volunteered.

"Thanks. Now one of us will stabilize the knife and try and hold his arm in place while the other two lift."

"You two lift. I'll hold him," Steve said with his authoritative tone.

The EMT looked at him. "I think it would be better if one of us did that, sir. It's vital that it be done right."

"I can do it right," Steve assured him. "I've had advanced emergency medical training." Steve sighed. "Look, he's my best friend. I'm not going to do anything to hurt him."

"I know Steve can do it," Danny offered his opinion which the EMT's respected. He was the one who'd suffer the consequences.

They each got into position. Lou was ready with the board. The two EMT's positioned themselves to lift Danny and support his weight. Steve was behind Danny. He wrapped his right arm around Danny and held his arms against his body with a secure embrace. "I got ya, buddy," he whispered to him as he positioned his left hand to stabilize the knife as soon as they were all in place.

Steve moved his left hand around the knife so it didn't shift and counted quickly. "1,2,3 lift."

As gentle as the four men were and as effectively as Steve did his job, the pain that tore through Danny when they moved him was unfathomable. He could not contain the scream any more than he could live without breathing.

Steve kept his friend in a tight embrace with his right arm as he held the knife steady with the other. Lou, pushed the board underneath his teammate and the EMT's lowered him onto it. It was all over in a few seconds, but it was more than a few seconds of blinding, searing pain for Danny Williams.

Danny's scream could be heard out in the hallway. There was just no way to gently move a man with a knife shoved through from his back to his chest. He didn't want to scream, vowed to himself before they moved him that he wouldn't, but pain has it's own plan. His body was trembling. His breathing was frantic. His heart was pounding in his chest, his blood roaring in his ears.

"His pulse is too high," one EMT shouted.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I don't own any rights to the characters.

A/N Good news: I'm back from my trip so I can post this chapter – (and I'm doing it before I even watch the ep. ) While away I thought of a few great ideas to add to the next chapter (which was basically complete and the end of the fic.)

Bad news: The few things I want to add to the last chapter will take me a while to rewrite so I'm not sure when I will post. (Might end up as two chapters so maybe that's a good thing? We'll see.)

A/N I don't like to beg for reviews but I work very hard at getting the characters right. If you have any comments or opinions on that I'd love to hear them. Even negative ones are fine as long as you treat me with respect.

H50 H50 H50

The EMT's hurried to secure Danny to the board, still lying on his left side. There was nothing more they could do. He needed to fight and he needed surgery – and then he'd need to fight some more.

Danny came close to giving in to the pain and letting the darkness overtake him. It would have been so easy to let go but then he heard Steve's voice in his ear and it drew him back from the edge.

"Stay with me Danno. Come on brother. Stay with me. Grace and Charlie, they need you buddy."

"Grace? Charlie?"

"They're fine buddy, but they need their Dad. Hell, I need you too. Come on Danno. I've got ya. Just hold on. I've got ya."

"Don't leave," Danny begged.

"Not going anywhere," Steve promised. "I need you too much, brother. I'm not going anywhere."

"His pulse is lowering," the EMT told Steve who sighed in relief. "Stay with him. Keep talking to him. It's helping."

As the EMT's worked to move the board to the gurney, Steve maintained his embrace, speaking words of friendship and reassurance the whole time. They covered Danny with a blanket as they readied to leave the room. This would be enough of a spectacle without every person around seeing the knife still impaling the victim.

Due to his calming effect on Danny combined with Danny's verbal pleas for him not to leave, Steve was allowed in the ambulance and even in the ER trauma room.

They moved Danny, on the backboard, off the gurney and onto the trauma room bed. He groaned with the movement and then asked for Steve.

"Right here," Steve said from where he stood by Danny's head trying his best to stay out of the way so he could remain in the room.

"Cut him out of these clothes and prep him for the OR," a Resident ordered the nurses. "Nothing we can do for him here."

Steve watched in sullen fascination as a young woman approached with a pair of scissors and began to cut right through Danny's bloody pants. Someone pulled off his shoes and unfastened his belt. It crossed Steve's mind that if this weren't so serious a situation the two of them would be cracking awful jokes about Danny being stripped by total strangers. As they cut away his boxers, they quickly covered him with a blanket, protecting his privacy.

Removal of his shirt required more care. The ER doctor herself painstakingly removed the blood soaked shirt and tie that Eric had used to stanch the bleeding. Danny grunted in pain but bit back a scream. The morphine was helping a bit. He shifted his left hand and Steve grasped it in his. "I'm right here buddy," Steve assured him again. The doctor then went to work cutting off Danny's own blood and sweat covered, tight fitting dress shirt.

Steve had seen many wounds and injuries in his days in combat but when they finally removed Danny's shirt the sight of a knife embedded to it's hilt in his best friend's bare back was almost more than he could take. Blood covered his back, sweat glistened off his chest. Steve's knees began to buckle and an observant nurse supported him by his elbow.

"Let's get you into a chair," she told him.

"You faint on me SuperSeal?" Danny whispered. Even in agony, a mirthful smirk graced his lips. "When I'm out of surgery I'm gunna tell Chin and Lou all about it." His soft laugh turned into an excruciating cough.

As they rolled Danny towards the operating room, Steve called after him. "You do that Danno!" He followed that with a whisper. "You damn well better do that!"

About an hour and a half later, Lou came into the surgical waiting room. "Any word?"

"Nothing," Steve replied in a whisper, his head buried in his hands.

"You okay?" Lou asked gently as he sat down next to him.

Steve didn't directly answer the question but he spoke what had been on his mind since he was left alone to wait. "They cut his clothes off in the trauma room. Pants, shirt, everything. The sight of that knife buried in Danny's back…" Steve choked back a sob. "I've seen a lot of bad stuff, Lou. But I just can't get that image out of my head."

Lou reached over and gripped the back of Steve's neck. "Because you've never let anybody get this close to you before, never let anybody get inside your heart like Danny has managed to do."

Lou was very direct. He knew there was nothing more than a true friendship between the two men, a friendship that was more like brothers than anything else. Brothers who would bicker and fight and insult and nag each other but God help the poor soul who said or did anything to either one of them. Neither man ever did anything to make Lou or the others feel any less of a friend or any less important, but there was just something there between them that was different, and very special to witness.

"Still not sure how that happened," Steve said with a laugh. "He couldn't stand me from the start and you know Danny, he made that perfectly clear, but I wasn't sure what to think of him, besides him being a damn good detective. I guess it was when he punched me in the face that I decided I liked him."

"Only you, Steve."

"What?"

Lou laughed now. "Only you would make friends with a guy just because he had the guts to slug you."

"There's much more to him than that," Steve said.

"Yeah," Lou agreed.

It was another half hour before Chin and Kono walked in. Abby had gone back to her hotel, feeling it wasn't her place to sit with them at the hospital. She had made Chin promise to call her with an update later, though.

"What happened?" asked Chin.

"How's Danny?" asked Kono.

Lou answered. "Knife to the back, just left of his right shoulder. He's still in surgery. It was pretty bad. Went all the way through. Good thing Eric found him. He did everything right from what I could tell."

"Eric?" Kono asked, surprised.

"Yep. Kid did good."

"He did good on the flip side, too," Chin said. "Security video clearly shows our guy walking into the classroom and then walking out just a minute later. It's too grainy to see clearly but you can tell he has something in his hand when he goes in that's not there when he comes out. Five minutes later Eric walked in."

"You get him?" Lou asked.

"Sure did. Eric tracked him on security video directly to his dorm room. Got him right there," Chin explained.

Kono looked at Steve now. He hadn't said a word. "You okay boss?"

Steve looked up now and they could see his bloodshot eyes. His voice was strained. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be better when I see him waving that hand around though." And if he could get that image of Danny with the knife in his back out of his head.

Steve didn't say any more so Lou explained. "Danny couldn't move his right hand, couldn't feel anything."

"Damn," said Chin.

"Yeah," agreed Kono.

They all sat down and waited and then Steve spoke again. "What time is it? Danny's supposed to pick up Grace."

"No worries," Chin said. "Eric's picking her up from school. He'll check in with us first, decide if he should bring her here or to Rachel."

"How's he doing that? Kid doesn't have a car, does he?" Lou asked.

"Danny's keys were on the desk. He's got the Camaro," Kono said.

Three heads turned as they heard a soft chuckle from Steve. "Wait til Danno hears about that. That'll get his hand moving." Steve prayed he was right.

All four were still there when the doctor came in and sat down with them. "He's in recovery. He was lucky in a way. Couple inches to the left and we wouldn't be here. I was able to remove the knife and stop the bleeding but there was quite a bit of damage –an artery, muscles, tendons, nerves. We needed to call in a couple specialists to reattach and repair everything. The wound was all the way through so we repaired what we could reach, closed his back up, turned him over and entered from the front to finish repairs. As I said, there was substantial damage. He's stable now and will likely be waking from the anesthesia within the hour."

"Doctor," Steve said, his voice taut and anxious. "He couldn't move his hand, couldn't feel anything…" It wasn't exactly worded as a question but Steve just couldn't ask if Danny would ever be able to use that arm again.

The doctor took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There were so many wonderful things about being a doctor but delivering news like this wasn't one of them.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

A/N I don't own rights to any of the characters.

A/N Ahhhhhhh! Finally got to see the real ep. Danny Williams and I have the same alma mater! Go Pirates! He must have done well in high school to get in there. Why did I never see him in class? I used to watch the baseball games; did he play shortstop? Sigh. I need to find an address so I can send H50 a Seton Hall U t-shirt so Danny can wear it. Oh my! Not nearly enough Danny in the ep, but there never is. Eric was good though and it was so sweet when Danny told him he was proud of him.

A/N I'm not a doctor but I did some internet research.

A/N I am ignoring the storyline of Adam and the men he killed. I love Kono but that whole Adam storyline just annoys me. Plus, it has nothing to do with this story so I'm leaving it alone.

H50 H50 H50

"We just don't know," the doctor said truthfully. "That knife punched a big hole in three layers of back muscles. The first affects movement of the arm, the second affects respiratory function, meaning breathing, and the third affects movement of the trunk and back. We got everything reattached and repaired but blood flow to his arm was cut off for quite a bit of time and there is substantial swelling. He may get full use back, he may get partial use or he may get none at all. It's way too early to tell for sure. Whatever happens, he is facing a very long and arduous road of physical therapy. You need to understand that breathing and movement will bring about pain. Facing this kind of situation, some people just give up. They take a lot of pain medication, get hooked and can never get off of them. Often, the determination and will of the patient has a big effect on the extent of the recovery."

"Well, sounds like our boy has a good chance then," Lou said, slapping Steve on the shoulder to try and perk him up. "Ain't nobody out there more determined and outright stubborn than Danny Williams."

Chin and Kono laughed with him and nodded in agreement.

Steve was stunned. He hadn't really believed that Danny might lose the use of his arm. It just wasn't possible. He couldn't even imagine Danny speaking without his hands bobbing and weaving through the air. On second thought, he had seen it for too long on the floor of that classroom as Danny barely moved a muscle. It just wasn't right, wasn't natural. What would he do if Danny did not gain full use of his arm back? How would Danny deal with that? How would he help Danny deal with that? How would he deal without Danny as his partner, without Danny by his side every day, challenging and cajoling him and maddeningly pushing his buttons?

"Support from friends and family can also play a huge part," the doctor said, aiming his remark at a morose and sullen Steve.

"I'll be with him every step of the way," Steve promised, snapping out of his thoughts. He would never, ever, give up on Danny.

"We all will," the others agreed.

"When can we see him?"

"I'll allow one at a time now while he's in recovery. When he awakens and is moved to a room, we can be more accommodating."

They thanked the doctor and arranged the order for each of them to check in on Danny. It didn't even need to be discussed that Steve would go last – and then stay until Danny was awake and Steve was good and ready to leave.

Kono took the first turn checking in on Danny. She stood by the bed and recalled how Danny had always been there for her. They had only been a team a few months when her former surfing mentor was murdered. Danny was limping around with a cane from his knee injury and other than some mild joking accusations at Steve that the injury was his fault, Danny never complained about it. He'd find a chair, ice his knee while he worked or prop his hip up on the smart table to take his weight off of it when they were all together. So as Kono grieved in her office, Danny hobbled in on his bad knee and stood there, leaning on his cane, giving her words of encouragement and support, and listening, really listening to what was in her heart. He had also been there for her when IA was after her. Heart heavy, she left the room when Chin came in and she went to pour her fears out to Adam.

Chin stepped away and called Abby before he went in to see Danny. He had only recently met her, but he liked her very much and she was very warm and caring. She was concerned for Danny's physical health but also concerned for Chin's emotional health. She encouraged him to open up and he shared with her how Danny had been there for him time after time. He would never divulge the team's secret of the $10 million they took from the forfeiture locker for him, but the thought that by-the-book Danny with so much to lose had readily agreed to the plan constantly warmed his heart. Steve had known Chin before and knew his father trusted Chin implicitly and Kono was his cousin, but the fact that Danny stood so staunchly in his corner time and again over his IA issues was something he freely shared with Abby. He told her how Danny was the one that had truly been there for him when Malia was killed, not only that night on the beach when Danny had cried with him, but many nights after that when Danny would just show up with a six-pack and be there.

Lou called Renee and shared with her the upsetting news about the attack on Danny and his condition. She already knew that Danny had been the one to help him find the courage and strength to function when Samantha had been kidnapped. She was there as Danny had helped him through the aftermath by showing up at his door with a six-pack in hand time and again. She was there when Danny opened himself up and shared some of his own personal battles with anxiety, making himself completely vulnerable so that he could help them to help Samantha through her anxiety.

Lou had come to this team late and had never once felt like an outsider, accepted from the get-go. He knew that Steve was the appointed leader of this group, Chin was the tech expert, Kono the sharpshooter and master of research, and that Danny was the only true detective and an expert at proper police procedure. But he had also realized early on that Danny was the emotional glue that kept this team rock solid. This sarcastic, anxious haole had a handhold on every team member's heart, his included. Danny had been there for each of them so many times that they couldn't begin to count.

Chin, Kono and Lou had left the hospital and Steve had staked claim to a straight back chair in the recovery bay. Danny's normally fair complexion was even paler than usual. Crisp, white bandages covered the wounds high on his chest and back near his right shoulder, multi colored bruising from the trauma showing around the edges. To avoid pressure on the large wound and abused muscles on his back, he was settled on his left side again, a couple pillows behind his back to keep him there. He had stirred a few times, even having a very brief exchange of words with Steve but had gone back to sleep again each time never remembering being awake before.

Steve had propped his feet up on Danny's bed and was in the process of answering an email on his cell when Danny stirred again. The groan of pain was the first indication of awakening, causing Steve to look up from his phone. Baby blue eyes peeking through tiny slits was the second, bringing a smile to Steve's lips. "You're getting my bed dirty, you animal." The gravelly voiced insult was the third, and the best by far.

Stashing the phone back in the pocket of his black cargo pants, Steve popped out of the chair in an instant. "My shoes are clean," Steve protested, happy to be able to verbally spar with his partner.

"They're hiking boots that you wear everywhere, Steven. They are no way near clean," Danny said, eyes again closed, still tired, still hurting.

"Well, they're on the floor now, partner. You happy?" Steve smirked as he gently smacked Danny on his blanket-covered leg.

"Ecstatic. Just keep them there, and keep your hands to yourself." His voice was fading by the end of the sentence. Just those few words had tired him out.

"How ya feeling?" Steve asked, turning serious and squeezing the leg his hand still rested on.

"Like somebody tried to hack my arm off." Danny pried his eyes open and looked at Steve. "He didn't, did he? Try to hack it off?"

Steve shook his head as he smirked. Danny always had the most creative way of saying things. "No. He did a fairly good impression of it though."

"Just my luck. We get him?"

"Yeah."

"It gunna stick?"

"That's your department, Danno. You're in charge of procedure and all the t's and i's." Steve moved to sit on the edge of the bed now.

"Glad I'm good for something," Danny said with a smile. "Did somebody get Grace?"

"Yeah, Eric did," Steve was waiting for the moment when Danny wondered how Eric did that when he didn't own a car, sure that it would bring on a rant – a sarcastic, caustic, wonderful rant. That moment didn't come.

"He did good today," Danny said quietly with a hint of pride. "He's really pulling himself together." He shifted a bit in the bed, trying to find some comfort.

"He's got a good role model, Uncle D," Steve said with a hint of pride of his own as he fixed the pillow behind his friend to better support him.

Danny scoffed.

"Really. He's got a serious case of hero-worship going. I personally don't know what he sees in you but that's something the kid is going to have to come to terms with himself." Steve wanted to share the compliment with Danny but getting overly serious and emotional was something they didn't usually do. They mostly spoke in insults and wisecracks.

Since he was still in the recovery room the nurse was well aware that Danny had awakened. She gave him a few minutes to make sure he would stay awake this time and then she buzzed the doctor and came over to check Danny's vitals. She told Steve that the doctor would be checking Danny over. He'd have to leave now, but he could come back when they moved him to a regular room. He headed to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee and a sandwich.

The doctor came and checked Danny over, including a good look at both sets of stitches to make sure there were no signs of infection. When he was done with all of that he took a moment to check Danny's right hand and arm carefully. He touched and pricked the ends of Danny's fingers to check for feeling. He then placed his hand in Danny's palm and asked him to squeeze. Nothing happened. As hard as Danny tried, not a muscle in his arm twitched.

The doctor explained in detail the injury he had suffered and the damage it had caused. He told him quite frankly that there was a chance he'd never regain any use of his arm. There was also the possibility of regaining incomplete use to varying degrees. Fortunately, there was also a chance that he would regain full use. The latter would require much hard work and a rigorous physical therapy regimen. Before leaving he assured Danny that there was still plenty of time to get feeling and movement back in his arm and hand and that he shouldn't worry. Easy for him to say.

When Steve entered the room, he found Danny sitting up in the bed, head bowed. At first glance, it appeared he was sleeping, but he soon realized that Danny's eyes were open. He was staring at his hand.

"I'm not going to let that bastard win," Danny said to Steve, pulling his eyes off of his hand. "I don't care what the odds are. I don't care how much pain and work it takes. I am going to use this hand again. I'm going to use it to teach Grace to drive and to teach Charlie how to make a perfect throw from short to first." He paused for a moment and then laughed softly - up and down emotions. "And I'm going to use it to hold my gun while I watch your crazy, ninja, Rambo back."

"Rambo's army, Danno," Steve said by way of agreement. Danny's courage and confidence gave Steve's spirit a much-needed lift. It seemed backwards, but sometimes life was like that.

Danny shifted and groaned now. The regular painkillers took the edge off but didn't really kill the pain. Using the pain pump would help much more, but would also tend to make him groggy and unfocused. He tried to avoid that, preferring to stay aware and in control. When he composed himself, he spoke again. "How you feeling?"

Steve was startled. "Me? Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"I'm not the one who almost passed out in the ER earlier."

"Seriously?" Steve asked with a wry chuckle.

"Well, yeah," Danny admitted with a smirk, "but I had a knife in my back. What happened to you?"

"Nothing." Steve crossed his arms. The defensive posture wasn't lost on Danny.

"Nothing Steven? If that nurse didn't catch you, you would have done a face plant. Tell me you didn't go all Super-SEAL on the guy and get yourself hurt."

"Chin and Kono brought him in. I wasn't even there."

"Is that what bothered you, not being there?"

"Nothing was bothering me." Steve moved as if to cross his arms even tighter.

"Come on Steve, this is me. I'm not buying it."

"I guess I just hadn't eaten." Steve looked at the whiteboard on the wall listing Danny's nurse's names.

"Try again. We had breakfast together before my class to exchange notes on the case." Was that really just this morning?

"I was fine. Just forget it," Steve retorted sharply, more sharply than he intended to speak to a man who was so concerned with Steve's well being while suffering incredible pain himself. He uncrossed his arms while speaking, swinging his right arm in an arc as he did.

"I'm your partner and your friend, I can't forget it," Danny spat back in a similar tone to Steve's, totally frustrated. In typical Danny fashion, as he became more riled he became more animated. His left arm was cutting through the air and, as he spoke, he moved to sit straight up in the bed. "Super Seal doesn't faint at the sight of blood and you weren't hungry. Damn it, Steven, what the hell happened?" The strain that trying to sit up put on his upper back was too much for his injured muscles, tendons and nerves and the pain sliced through him like another knife. He gasped. His face lost all color as he fell back to the pillows. He groaned in pain as his left hand grasped his right shoulder, limbs trembling, body curling in on itself.

"Danny?" Danny was breathing hard, eyes shut and teeth clenched as he rode through the wave of pain. Steve watched as he fumbled blindly with his left hand for the pain pump and gave himself a shot of pain killer through his self administered IV. Steve knew how much Danny avoided using the pain pump because he'd witnessed it when Melissa's ex almost killed him, also with a knife attack. He watched in a haze of horror and helplessness as Danny suffered this latest attack of pain, all because of his concern for Steve. He stood by the bed, trying to soothe this best friend of his with his touch and words.

As the extra painkiller and Danny's effort to physically be still (a Herculean effort for the restless man) began to work their magic, the pain began to ease and his breathing began to settle. Fatigue came with it and he battled it to be able to speak, because what he needed to tell Steve was more important to him right now than escaping the pain.

"Steve?" he whispered.

"Right here," Steve answered, and it was the best thing Danny could hear. "Don't try to talk."

"Steve, just listen to me. Please? You want to talk, I'm here. You don't want to tell me what happened, that's alright too." Sleep was pulling him under and his words were no more than a mumble, but the meaning behind them was crystal clear - I got your back, brother.

Steve watched Danny fondly as he drifted off into his painkiller-induced oblivion. The man never failed to amaze him. He didn't know how he would share with Danny the true nature of what happened to him in the ER, but he vowed that he would find a way to do it, eventually. His best friend deserved that much. He pressed the button to lower the back of the bed in order for Danny to sleep more comfortably and then headed out to make some phone calls to other members of the ohana with an update.

When he returned he was surprised to see that Danny was already awake again, the back of the bed elevated. Danny was fiddling with his cell phone in his left hand, apparently trying to type out a text message. "Grace," he said to Steve by way of explanation. He tried resting the cell on his lap and typing with one finger. It worked for a moment before it toppled over. He growled in frustration.

"Need help?" Steve asked.

Danny looked forlornly at the cell and then at his friend. He sighed. "Yeah, thanks." He told Steve what to type, telling Grace that he was going to be fine and that she shouldn't worry. When Steve gave the phone back he dropped it on the bed. Steve took comfort in the words he had just typed to Danny's beloved daughter.

Danny's next words came quietly, so very unlike his usual way of speaking. Steve had to strain to hear them. He sat on the bed facing his partner to be closer.

"I may never be able to use my hand again, my whole arm even." Danny swallowed hard, staring at his right arm. Steve remained silent, knowing instinctively that Danny had more he needed to say. He squeezed Danny's muscular left bicep in comfort. Danny had been so upbeat about the situation earlier, was so upbeat in his text to Grace just moments ago, and now he was so down.

Danny's voice grew louder and he giggled as he said, "You know how many times I've said 'I'd give my right arm for something?' I mean, how stupid is that, huh?" Steve smiled warmly at Danny's humorous aside.

Just as quickly, Danny sobered again. Steve figured it might be that way for a while, up and down. It was understandable, but Danny was a pro at it. "I'm scared, Steve," he admitted with a sob. "I'm so freakin' scared."

Steve wanted to tell Danny that everything was going to be just fine, tell him that he would get full use of his arm and hand back in no time, tell him the pain would go away soon. But they were all false platitudes and he just couldn't do that. The brutal truth was that they just didn't know what would happen. The brutal truth was that the pain wasn't going away any time soon. The brutal truth was that Steve was just as scared as Danny. Danny didn't need false promises, false cheer. What Danny needed was someone to share the burden with so Steve did what felt right at that moment. He pulled Danny into a gentle embrace and cried with him.

A/N I just love when Danny giggles in the middle of a tense situation (eg. ep 3.06 I Ka Wa Mamua (In a Time Past) and ep 4.19 Ku I Ka Pili Koko (Blood Brothers) for example.) Scott does absolutely amazing work when he does that. Can you imagine how difficult it is to act either of those moods, much less swing it back and forth in a heartbeat? Scott always rocks it! So, I gave credit to that in this chapter. I know I can't do Scott justice, but I tried. Hope it worked


	6. Chapter 6

A/N This chapter has been intentionally deleted from here and moved to a later chapter!

Yep, you read that right. When I originally wrote this story it was an 800 word quick fic that I wrote because after the preview trailer for ep 6.9 Hana Keaka (Charade) I got this image in my head of Danny that I wrote in chapter 1:

"Whoa, whoa whoa," Danny said, hands up in protest. "Have you lost your mind? A college professor? I barely graduated high school."

But then I decided that 800 words was too short, so I added some more. Then I decided to add some Danny whump. I usually won't post a story until it is basically complete so I don't have to juggle writing, posting and real life. Since I wanted to post the first chapter or two before the episode aired I wrote a quick ending - a very, very gloss over everything rushed ending.

Then I thought about how so many asked me to write a story of the ohana meeting Charlie after I wrote him and Steve together with Danny in my fic "Who's Your Daddy?" I got an idea about putting that in this story and posting it on Thanksgiving day. But, to post it on Thanksgiving day I had to post it out of order. I hesitated but I was only going to post one more chapter after it so I figured that would be fine.

However, I started receiving these amazing supportive reviews and I suddenly felt awful even thinking about posting a one-chapter wrap-up to the complicated situation I had written. So, I decided to flesh it out a bit more. Then I got more heart-warming reviews and I got all of these ideas and so I wrote more, and more. Before I knew it I had more than 30 more chapters written before the Thanksgiving chapter fit. So, after consulting a few readers for their opinion I decided to move the Thanksgiving chapter originally posted here to its proper place in the timeline of the story. That will happen when the story gets there.

Anyone reading this story from now on will see it only in it's proper place.

Hope that's not too confusing.

Mahalo to all you loyal readers, reviewers, followers…


	7. Chapter 7

A/N I do not own the rights to these characters.

A/N As I said before the last chapter, that was just a little Thanksgiving interlude. This chapter will pick up before Danny was released from the hospital, but just by a bit. I wanted to post the Thanksgiving fluff chapter on Thanksgiving day.

A/N Confession: Stories that are posted and never completed drive me crazy. Therefore, I will always make sure that I have finished writing a story before I start posting. I rushed to finish this one so that I could post it before the ep itself. But, then I wasn't happy with the rushed ending, especially after so many wonderful reviews. So, I added this chapter and another one after it. I'm still writing more after that. In other words, this story is no longer completely written. I'll try to post frequently and not leave you hanging too long between chapters. If the delays get to be too much for you, I can always edit the quick finish I already have written and post that.

A/N Thanks to Wenwalke for her review of part of this chapter.

H50 H50 H50

That night Steve laid awake for hours thinking about all that had transpired that day. At a breakfast meeting with Danny they had discussed the information that Danny and Eric and the team had obtained so far. It had been nice to have some time together since Danny's undercover work had made them keep their distance for the most part over the past few weeks.

After breakfast Danny had headed to the University and Steve had gone to the office. Not even an hour later Steve and Lou were on their way to the campus when they got the call from HPD dispatch saying they had received an officer down call naming Detective Williams. It had been one of the worst phone calls of his life. The worst, of course, was when he had heard his father's murder over the phone line. The call today was tied for second with the time Danny's girlfriend had called him to tell him that Danny had been attacked by her ex and was fighting for his life in an ER with a knife wound to his abdomen. Both times, the fear for Danny's life had stolen his breath away. Danny called Steve a trouble magnet but the man was fairly well magnetized himself it seemed. Steve's thoughts wandered to the sight of the knife buried to the hilt in his partner's bare back and he pulled them away.

The phone call had shaken him. In the five years they had known each other, Danny had gone from being a highly decorated and respected haole detective from the mainland who Steve needed to help him find his father's killer to being the most important person in his life. Danny grounded him in a way nobody else could. Danny challenged him in a way nobody else did. As Lou had said earlier that day, Danny had a hold of his heart in a way nobody else ever had.

He still wasn't sure how that happened. They argued constantly. They couldn't even get out of "partner" therapy. Steve recalled a phone call with Danny the day before. While they were on the call, a student had complimented Danny on his lecture. Steve's caustic reply ("I'm sure by tomorrow you'll be making their lives just as miserable as you make mine.") belied the pride he had felt at his partner's accomplishment in the classroom. Why had he said that? He knew Danny didn't take it to heart, but what if he had? Danny was sensitive, despite his tough Jersey guy exterior and superior capacity for street talk. Why did they do that to each other? It was most definitely a two way street. He still had no answer to that question. Steve's thoughts again wandered to the sight of the knife buried to the hilt in his partner's bare back and again he pulled them away.

His thoughts went back again to receiving that phone call. Poor Lou had held on for dear life as Steve maneuvered his big pick up through the streets. He couldn't get to his partner fast enough. He wanted, no needed, to be there for his partner. And if the worst happened… No! No! He would not allow himself to go there. It was a possibility that he simply could not face. Life without Danny, Five-O without Danny, was something that he simply could not fathom. But now he had to consider the possibility. Danny could not use his arm, might not ever be able to use it again. Once more Steve's thoughts wandered to the sight of the knife buried in his partner's back and he forced them away again.

What would it be like to work without Danny at his side? What would it be like to work with a different partner? Sure he had partnered at times with each of the other Five-O members but never for long, never knowing that Danny wasn't coming back. The closest he had come to that was the week that Danny was in that god-forsaken prison in Colombia. The hellish prospect of Danny never making it out of there had loomed over him like a specter but at least he was able to do something to try and change that situation and bring him home. Now he was unable to do anything to change Danny's fate.

Steve's breath caught in his throat as he summoned up the memory of entering that classroom. Seeing Danny there on that floor in a pool of blood was quite possibly the worst thing he had ever seen. No, he realized quickly, the sight of the knife buried to the hilt in his partner's bare back was far and away the worst thing he had ever seen. It had haunted him and plagued him all day, flashing like a horror movie unbidden.

Seeing his best friend on the floor of that classroom, enduring excruciating pain, unable to move or even breathe without hurting more was definitely a sight he never wished to see again. He was thankful that Eric had found him. He handled the situation very well, looking out for his uncle as well as the crime scene.

Steve felt good that he had been able to help ease Danny's worry and pain a bit just by his mere presence and that he had therefore been allowed to stay with him until they rolled him into surgery – with that knife still in his back, the image haunting him once again. When Steve finally did manage to sleep, the image haunted his dreams.

On the other side of the city, Danny dozed in a darkened hospital room. With the help of painkillers and the sedative the doctor had put in his iv, Danny was able to sleep for several uninterrupted hours before a nightmare interrupted the peace. In bits and pieces he saw his day play over again before his mind's eye.

He saw the breakfast with Steve where they laughed and enjoyed each other's company, although each said a few things to the other that he didn't really mean. He saw Eric as he got out of Danny's car a couple blocks from campus so they wouldn't be seen with each other and blow their cover.

He saw the classroom, remembering the feeling when he had entered that day that he actually enjoyed this teaching thing. He heard the sound of the door open and in his dream he asked himself why he hadn't turned around at the sound of it.

He saw the glint of metal and then felt the pain, the sheer unadulterated pain ripping through his shoulder and his back, taking his breath away. He startled and jumped; bolting awake.

His heart was pounding in his chest, his breaths were coming fast, pulling and tugging on the stitched up muscles in his back. The jolt had made him move, stressing the stitches in the layer of muscle that controlled the movement of his trunk. Tears came unbidden to his eyes, as the throbbing seemed to surround and fill his entire upper body. Every breath brought a shot of pain.

He didn't know how long it took for him to slow his breathing and heart rate down to reasonable levels. He was still very uncomfortable but trying to move brought increased pain. Although he was loath to do it, he pressed the pain pump, and waited for the painkiller to move through his body before he attempted to shift to a more comfortable position. He couldn't find one and spent the rest of the night flickering back and forth between short naps and wakeful bouts of misery, refusing to use the pain pump again.

Steve rose at his usual time and set about his personalized 'three s' morning routine – swim, shower, shave. It wasn't the best night's sleep he ever had but it most certainly wasn't the worst either. Finishing up breakfast and a mug of hot steaming coffee, he placed the dishes in the sink, picked up his keys and headed out the door.

Danny was awakened from a fitful sleep by an exuberant young nurse asking him if he had slept well. She set about taking his blood pressure, listening to his heart and lungs and much to Danny's consternation, checking his "output" from the humiliating catheter. Danny was thrilled when she advised him that his numbers were good and she would now be removing the offending piece of medical equipment. She closed the curtain and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. Mission accomplished she warned him on her way out the door that he should not attempt to walk to the bathroom unaided. He dozed off and on again until his breakfast was brought in.

Steve came in to see Danny before heading in to the office. Walking into the room he saw Danny sitting up in the bed. He had lost a lot of blood the day before and he still looked too pale. They were no longer giving him blood but the saline drip would help replace the fluids he lost. There was a second bag, this one with painkillers. A third held antibiotics to forestall an infection setting into either wound.

A half empty bowl of oatmeal, covered in cinnamon, was sitting on the table that extended over the bed. Hospital food had a bad reputation but this actually looked pretty good to Steve. The back of the bed was elevated but leaning forward over the table was impossible with the shape his back was in right now so Danny had to bring the food all the way to his mouth as he leaned back against the pillow. It was a tedious way to eat but, in time, it got the job done.

"Looks like you made pretty good work of that oatmeal," Steve said, taking in Danny's pale and drawn features. He looked like he hadn't slept well the night before. It was understandable considering the amount of damage done to his back.

"Isn't it impressive how I managed to feed myself?" Danny retorted with a sigh of self-deprecation. He put the spoon down into the bowl and moved the table away. He hadn't eaten a thing since the previous morning's breakfast with Steve but he still couldn't finish it.

"Actually yes, with that iv stuck in the back of your hand."

"Yeah? Right? Why didn't they put it in the right hand? No chance of tearing it out of there." Not when he couldn't move a muscle anyway. "Morons."

That prompted the obvious question. "Still nothing?"

Danny looked up at Steve and then looked down again. He didn't have to say anything. They were often able to communicate with just a look.

"Give it time, Danny."

Danny gave him a silent nod as he held his shoulder and shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

"How ya feeling?" Steve asked the obligatory question, even though it seemed kind of stupid.

"Peachy," was the unsurprising response.

"Understandable." More information passed between them silently than with words. Both knew the other hadn't slept well.

"Grace wants to come by this afternoon," Danny said. "You think maybe one of you could pick her up from school and bring her here?"

"You don't even have to ask that Danno. We'll make sure she gets here." He knew the way things were between Danny and Rachel since her revelation about Charlie. He wasn't even sure if Rachel would bring Grace if nobody else could, but it was definitely better this way.

Danny smiled broadly. "Thanks."

Steve now moved to the window and opened the curtains. "It's another beautiful day in paradise."

"Feel more in the mood for a crisp, cool day, like the Novembers I remember," Danny said as he gazed out the window. The sky was blue and clear and the warmth of the sun found it's way through the closed window - just like every other day in Hawaii. Sometimes Danny found it monotonous.

"You like the cold weather, huh?" Steve sat down on the side of the bed, facing Danny, shoving at his leg to give himself room. Invading personal space was not a problem for the two friends.

Steve had never asked a question like that before. Never actually showed much interest in Danny's life in New Jersey outside of his family. Danny smiled at the question though. Steve was right. "What planet have you been living on? I most certainly do. Guess I won't be snowboarding this winter, though," he lamented.

"You snowboard?" Six years of friendship with this man and he was still learning new things about him.

"Of course I do, in New Jersey that is. No place to do it on this thermodynamically challenged chunk of rock."

"Then why was it so hard to learn to surf?"

"It wasn't difficult to learn to surf. It's getting in the ocean that's the problem."

Steve nodded, remembering Danny's story of watching his friend drown in the ocean, unable to save him. As far as he knew, Danny had not shared that story with any of the others. He felt humbled by that. Since Danny had revealed that tragic part of his past to him, anytime they went to the beach or anytime they even discussed going, Steve noticed the look in Danny's eyes. His partner's abhorrence of the ocean was no longer a joking matter for him.

"Billy," Steve said and he suddenly realized that although he had thought he understood Danny's feelings and fears about the loss of his best friend, he never really did. Not until now. Not until he saw that knife in his own best friend's bare back and just the thought of what that knife might have taken away from him nearly sent him face first into the floor.

Now Steve understood in a way he never had before. As a young boy, Danny had watched his best friend go under the water as he tried to help Danny who was struggling in the surf. While still fighting to stay above water himself, Danny had tried to find Billy in the water. Failing that, Danny had to wait a full day not knowing what had happened to his best friend. Had to answer the seemingly endless questions that were thrown at him, by his parents, his siblings, the lifeguards, the police, Billy's parents, and who knows who else. Danny had to wait through that day and through a night that must have seemed an eternity before his best friend's body was found washed up on shore two miles down the beach from where he went under. He had to return home and face other friends, other classmates, answer their questions, see the finger pointing and hear the talking behind his back. He had to don a suit and stand by his parents' side at his best friends funeral. He had to go on without his best friend, carrying the burden of survivor's guilt wherever he went.

All of this while Danny was still a child and Steve could barely handle the sight of that knife in Danny's back as a highly trained, very experienced Navy SEAL adult.

"I get it now," Steve added.

Danny looked a query at him.

"I get it now. Billy Selway. I get it."

"What is there to get?" Danny was missing something.

"You carry him around with you all the time. The pain, the grief, it's always there."

Pulling his eyes away from Steve's, Danny swallowed hard. He really, really didn't need to be thinking about Billy now, how he'd lost him, how it had been his fault or at least he felt like it was. "He was my best friend," Danny said emphatically, not knowing why Steve was bringing this all up now. "And he's been dead nearly 30 years. Dead because of me." Danny stopped and worked to control his breathing because breathing hurt, his voice catching in his throat. "Why are you bringing him up now?"

Steve looked Danny directly in the eye. He was sorry for the pain he was causing Danny right now, sorry for opening this old wound, but he was ready to spill his heart out. "Because I know exactly how you feel now. I thought I did before. But yesterday, in that ER…"

"Good morning," the doctor said as he entered for his morning rounds, oblivious to having interrupted an important moment.

Steve and Danny's eyes were locked. They had to have this conversation. It was so very important to Steve and if it was important to Steve then it was equally important to Danny. What happened in that ER was so uncharacteristic of Steve that it unnerved Danny but now, at just the moment that Steve was ready to talk, Danny's doctor had to walk in.

They stayed like that, gazes locked, for long moments as the doctor spoke words neither one of them heard. The desperation both men felt at losing this opportunity was palpable.

Finally, Steve pulled his eyes away from Danny's and stood to leave. The doctor had stolen the moment.

"You don't have to go," Danny nearly shouted, moving to sit up again before gasping, grunting, turning pale and falling back onto the pillows yet again. How many times would he do this before he remembered that he had to be still? The doctor put his fingers on his wrist and took his pulse, comparing it to the information on his chart.

"Easy there," the doctor said, as he pressed his hand against Danny's chest as a reminder for him to stay still.

"I need to get to work." Steve no longer felt capable of having the conversation, no longer capable of facing that moment again.

"You're the boss, Steve. It can wait. Just stay, please. Please?" The doctor was opening Danny's hospital gown and taking off the bandages covering the stitches in the front of his shoulder. Danny shifted uncomfortably, his attention now divided between his best friend and the ministrations of the doctor.

"Chin and Kono are waiting." It was a pathetic excuse and Steve knew it, but he suddenly wanted to get away from having the conversation he was just about to have.

Danny set his jaw, his emotions now getting the best of him. He was in pain, getting poked and prodded, and he just couldn't deal with things the way he normally would. "Fine. Whatever. Goodbye Steven." The doctor finished removing the bandage. Danny hissed in pain as he probed the wound.

At Danny's words, Steve stopped in the doorway. At the hiss, he turned around. He couldn't leave his best friend like this. Danny was dealing with a severe injury, facing the prospect of a permanent disability. As much as he didn't want to face the subject of what happened in the ER again, he knew he needed to stay and be here for his friend at this moment. If Danny had the courage to get back in the ocean after what had happened to him as a kid, Steve could summon up the courage to get back in the room, even if it meant he'd have to talk about his emotions. He moved back over by the window and watched the doctor work.

Tbc -


	8. Chapter 8

A/N I do not own the rights to these characters.

A/N I truly appreciate all the reviews, follows and favorites. Reviews can be a good source of inspiration and motivation. Sorry if I haven't replied to your review. I try to reply to all of them eventually, but sometimes some might slip through the cracks.

A/N Posting a chapter without having the whole story done makes me so nervous, but I can't make you wait until the whole thing is done, so here goes.

A/N I did some internet research but I'm basically winging it with my medical parts. It's a fanfic, not a medical textbook.

H50 H50 H50

When Steve moved back in the room, Danny caught his eye and the silent look of gratitude spoke volumes. Steve knew he had made the right decision.

The wound appeared to Steve to be about two inches long. The edges were still red, crisscrossed with black threaded stitches and surrounded by bruises but he didn't see any puss or fresh blood. The doctor was satisfied with what he saw and pulled out his stethoscope next. He listened carefully as he placed the head of the stethoscope on several different places on Danny's chest as he had Danny breathe normally, hold his breath and then breathe deeply. The last was a bit of a problem since the knife had punched a hole straight through the muscle used for breathing but he did the best he could.

The doctor now asked Danny to sit forward so he could listen from the back. "I know it will be painful but I need you to give it a try," the doctor told him. He extended his hand out and Danny grasped it as an aid to moving forward. Letting go, Danny then pressed his left hand down into the mattress to try and gain some support.

Body trembling with the exertion, sweat beaded on Danny's brow as he tried his best to comply. Steve moved closer, feeling protective, and reached a hand to Danny's back to help support him as the doctor moved his stethoscope expertly to each spot on his back where he could hear his heart and lungs. Again, taking a deep breath proved nearly impossible for Danny. Steve noticed a look of consternation cross the doctor's face as he listened.

"I know that was difficult," the doctor said as he and Steve eased Danny back against the pillows, "but I really did need to listen to your lungs."

Danny couldn't speak, too wiped out so Steve did it for him. "How'd they sound, doc?" The look he had seen made him concerned.

"Let me check the other stitches and I'll give a full report." He pressed the button to lower the back of the bed. "You'll need to roll onto your left side so I can check the stitches back there," he instructed Danny.

Exhausted from the exertion, back and shoulder throbbing, and uncharacteristically quiet, Danny closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself before beginning the excruciating journey to his side. Steve again reached in to assist and support his friend.

Bandage removed, Steve observed this second wound. It was easily twice as long as the one in front. The edges were raw and red, held together by the ugly black stitches, but this one had definitely been bleeding. It was a nearly impossible location to keep still. Extensive colorful bruising surrounded the wound, accentuating the trauma to the area. He noticed with dismay that there were thin red lines and some yellow pus evident as well. It looked truly sore and tender and as Steve watched Danny flinch with each touch of the doctor's fingers, he winced in sympathy.

The doctor now took hold of Danny's right hand and maneuvered his fingers into a fist and then fully open. He spoke as he worked. "Have you felt any tingling or pain in your fingers or hand?"

"No," Danny said, even as he tried his hardest to just imagine feeling something.

The doctor placed his hand in Danny's. "Try and squeeze my hand."

Again, Danny tried his hardest, beads of sweat forming on his brow with the strain, but to no avail. He looked up at his partner. "Damn!" they each said silently.

"The stitches in front look good. No sign of infection or bleeding. I think we can keep it open for a while. Let the wound get some air. The wound in the back is still bleeding a bit and showing early signs of infection so we'll need to keep that covered and I will switch you to a stronger antibiotic. We need to avoid muscle atrophy so a physical therapist will come by this evening and begin treatment. You might want to have somebody here to watch so some of the stretches can be done daily once you go home."

"I'll be here," Steve said.

"Thanks Mom," Danny said in lieu of a thank you.

The doctor went on. "I'm concerned about your lungs. Due to the muscle damage and the amount of pain you are in your breathing is shallow. I'm afraid there's a risk of fluid build up that can lead to pneumonia if that continues. I'm going to have the nurse start you on an incentive spirometer that will help…"

Danny groaned. "Yeah, I know."

"You're familiar with it?"

"Very."

"You've used one before?"

"Yeah," Danny whispered, too tired to say more.

"He broke a rib last year," Steve explained, thinking back on the horrible bombed building collapse that nearly cost Danny his life. He didn't bother to mention that he has also needed to use one the year before that when he was stabbed. He placed his hand on Danny's shoulder and squeezed as a sign of reassurance.

"Well then, hopefully, you understand the importance of using it as instructed," the doctor said to Danny. "I know it hurts but you must force yourself to inflate those lungs."

"I'll make sure of it," Steve said.

"Neanderthal mother hen," Danny grumbled.

When the doctor finished, the nurse came in and put a fresh bandage on the wound on Danny's back and then had Danny roll onto his back again. She raised the bed, and had him use the incentive spirometer. By the time all was done and she was gone, he was wiped out, needing the pain pump and craving sleep but denying himself both for one simple reason – Steve was more important. But, he lacked the energy to be subtle so he kept it simple. "Talk," he told Steve, who had been staring out the window while the nurse finished up.

"What?" Steve turned around but remained by the window.

"It's not complicated, Steven. Talk. So I don't have to." He growled when he finished. It hurt to talk.

"I, I, I'm not sure where to start," Steve said. He really did want to share this with Danny but he just didn't know how. It had seemed so easy when he had started, before the doctor came in, but now it seemed impossible to get to that spot again.

"Billy," Danny prompted. "You were throwing Billy's death in my face. How you 'got it', whatever 'it' is." Grrr, he growled again at the pain. "I hate to talk."

Steve laughed. "You hate to talk? I never thought I'd hear you say that." He quickly sobered again as he saw the pain his friend was in, taking a couple steps closer as a thought formed. "In that ER I realized how close I came to never hearing you say anything again, not a rant, not a Neanderthal animal Rambo comment, not a lecture about proper police procedure or the insanity of putting pineapple on pizza."

Danny was a good listener and could pick up the undercurrent beneath someone's words. "And despite the fact that more than once you have offered me money to stop talking, you don't actually want to hear me stop talking."

"Exactly." Steve moved to the bed and sat down there facing Danny, once again invading his personal space. It was that kind of conversation. It couldn't be done from across the room. They were right next to each other, legs touching through the covers in the cramped space but neither reached out to the other.

Steve sighed, trying to organize his thoughts. Danny wanted to tell him to hurry up and spit it out. But Danny had the capacity for patience when it was needed, especially when it hurt so much to talk.

"I've seen a lot of bad things, Danny. I've seen men die in battle, men I considered friends, but the sight of that knife in your back…" Steve shivered at the memory.

"Hey, it's okay," Danny said softly, hating to see his friend so disturbed. He knew Steve was always very careful to keep a good hold on his emotions. He had been taught all his life that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. He had eased up on that thought over time the time Danny knew him but it was still deeply ingrained in his psyche. "You don't need to do this."

"No, it's okay. Let me talk."

Danny nodded and waited, giving him the time he needed. He sat still and looked at Steve.

"When that doctor cut your shirt off and I saw that knife…" He stopped and shook his head. He knew what he was feeling but had absolutely no idea how to put it into words. "A knife doesn't belong in human flesh like that. It was so unreal, so unnatural, so… revolting. Not the knife wound itself, necessarily, although it was, but the whole thing." He waved his hand around as a way of demonstrating his words. "I'm not doing very well here."

"It's fine. I'm listening."

Steve nodded and went on, trying again. "I suddenly realized how much that one stinking piece of metal could have taken from me, from us." He put his hand on Danny's leg now, needing the touch. "I saw that knife buried to the hilt in your back and I couldn't imagine that you were still alive. We've seen quite a few dead bodies with the knife still there but I've never seen anything like this. You're my best friend, Danny, the best there is, and looking at that it made me think of losing you and I don't know how I could deal with that and the thought of it made my head spin and that's how I almost ended up on the floor."

There, he had said it. Steve knew it was rambling and didn't quite make sense, but the whole thing didn't quite make sense.

Danny nodded silently. Steve had been unnaturally loquacious but for him for once, words wouldn't come. "Babe, wow. I'm sorry." For some reason it hadn't occurred to Danny that Steve had nearly passed out because of him.

"Sorry? You're not to blame here."

Danny thought he knew where Steve was trying to go with this. "Steve, you know this wasn't your fault."

"I don't know about that."

"The psycho knifed me. You were nowhere near me and you weren't supposed to be. If I had turned around when he came in, it would have turned out very different."

"Yeah, he would have stabbed you in the chest."

Danny frowned and shook his head. "Give me a little credit, Steven. I can handle myself, IF I see it coming. Which is why this could possibly be deemed my fault, but most certainly cannot be deemed yours." He closed his eyes and puffed out breaths to quell the ache in his back.

Steve paused a moment, unconsciously rubbing a soothing hand along Danny's leg. When Danny's breathing had settled and his eyes were open again, Steve spoke. "Look, I don't mean to make this about me. You had the foresight to realize that this was a dangerous job and you had the courage to do it anyway."

For a man like Danny, a man whose imagination worked overtime finding the hidden dangers around him, a man who battled serious anxieties every day of his life, just walking down the street took more courage than it took for Steve to go into a gun battle. Yet, Danny faced the car chases and gun battles and psychos with knives the same as Steve did, albeit being a tad more vocal about it.

He wasn't sure where the clarity came from but suddenly Steve was able to put his thoughts into words that made more sense than his last ramble. "Look, I've faced my mortality before. I've come to terms with it, accepted it, whatever you want to call it. But I've never really faced yours. Sure, you've had close calls before - the Sarin, the stabbing, getting stuck in that bombed garage, Colombia – but, until I saw that knife there, implanted in your back, actually moving with each breath you took, each word, each cough, until then I had never actually faced YOUR mortality."

Danny smiled a sad, meaningful smile. Contrarian to Steve, Danny had thought about this before. "Now you know how I feel every time you go all Rambo on me, babe."

Steve smiled too. "Rambo was Army." It was a tradition, part of this thing they did. He had to say it. "But, yeah, I guess you're right. Danny, a couple inches to the left and that knife would have killed you. I don't know what I'd do..." Steve's voice reflected the deep emotions he was feeling. Sure he had lost his parents, and that was difficult there was no denying that. But, the thought of losing a friend like Danny who was so much a part of each day of his life was different, just overwhelming.

"You'd go on. One day at a time. Weeks, months, years – each day at a time."

"That's how you do it? With Billy?" Steve wasn't sure why his thoughts kept going back to Danny's childhood best friend. Maybe he was a tad jealous that he wasn't the first best friend in Danny's life.

Danny nodded. "Some people say they forget what someone looks like when they die. I can still see Billy. He had this big goofy smile. We had other friends but he was the best. We spent all of our free time together. You don't let go of a friend like that. They stay a part of you."

"Billy was a lucky guy."

Danny shook his head in denial. "He died because of me."

"He died because the surf was rough."

"I was struggling and he tried to help me."

"And then you tried to help him, didn't you?" Danny had never said that. He had only blamed himself, but Steve knew Danny, better maybe than Danny knew himself. "Didn't you?" he pressed.

"Yeah," Danny whispered. "But, it wasn't enough." Danny reached out now and laid his hand on top of Steve's hand that was still resting on his leg. Gave the hand a squeeze. "I've been lucky. Having two such incredible friends as Billy and you."

"I think I'm the lucky one," Steve disagreed.

This conversation was way more serious than Danny and Steve usually liked to get. It was more in their nature to tease and torment each other. "Look at us," Danny laughed while tears remained in his eyes from the intensity of the conversation. "Sitting here crying like a couple of old ladies."

tbc


	9. Chapter 9

A/N I don't own the rights to any of these characters.

A/N I did some internet research but I'm basically winging it with my medical parts. It's a fanfic, not a medical textbook.

A/N I'm trying to weave some facts from the episode into the story. My apologies if I end up getting the two confused somewhere along the way.

A/N I mention a struggle with anxiety in this story. I know a couple people who suffer from anxiety disorder and the way Danny is written and the way Scott plays him it seems to me that Danny suffers from anxiety the way the people I know do. It's a constant battle for them, but they manage to live a normal life without relying on medication. So, I write it this way with all due respect.

H50 H50 H50

Steve was surprised at how much better he felt after telling Danny the truth about what happened to him in the ER. Never in his life had he passed out, never before had he been so overcome by emotion, the utter fear of what might have been. He felt better, lighter and more prepared to help Danny through this than he had felt before. He wondered about how his father and grandfathers had got it all so wrong and how this sarcastic blond, from New Jersey of all places, had it right. Showing your emotions was tough, but so very worthwhile.

They sat together on the bed for a while longer, Steve not caring that he was late for work, the team would understand. They talked, they argued, they laughed. It all felt so right.

With the catheter removed but the IV still dripping copious amounts of liquid into his body, Danny needed to use the bathroom to relieve himself. "Hey babe. Tantalizing conversation here, but I need to go water the garden."

"Water the garden?" Steve asked.

Danny nodded towards the bathroom.

Steve laughed. Must be a New Jersey expression. "Need some help?"

Danny pointed to the IV pole, which would have to come with him. It was on the same side of the bed as Steve. "Just need you to get out of the way." He slowly began to shift towards the side of the bed.

Steve stood up and hovered nearby. "Aren't you supposed to call for help?"

"She just said I shouldn't do it alone." He nodded his head towards Steve. "I'm not alone."

"True. You got anything on under that hospital gown?" Steve laughed upon seeing a bit more than he should as Danny moved.

"Crap. Melissa hasn't come with my things yet. Close the door huh?" Danny said, nodding his head at the door to the hallway that he'd have to pass to get to the bathroom. He was almost to the edge of the bed now.

Steve took a couple steps towards the door and then stopped. "What's it worth to you?" he challenged with a smirk, arms crossed, unmoving.

"What's it worth? I'll show you what it's worth," Danny snarled as he moved his legs over the side of the bed. "Just give me a half hour to get over there," he added with a giggle.

Danny put his feet on the floor and stood up. The entire room spun in a dizzying array of shapes and colors and his knees buckled. He reached out with his left hand for the IV pole, the bed, anything that he could reach, his right hand immobile in a sling. A strong grip from his right side pulled him back up before he hit the floor. Steve!

"Hey, easy there, Booboo," Steve told him as he held him steady, arms wrapped around his waist, being careful to avoid the stitched up wounds.

Danny stood swaying for a moment until the room stopped spinning. He groaned from nausea and fatigue, and he hadn't even stepped away from the bed yet.

"You okay?" Steve loosened his grip somewhat to test Danny's balance.

"Yeah, thanks babe." He grabbed the IV pole, as much for the support as to take it with him. He hadn't been on his feet in nearly 24 hours and was rather shaky from blood loss and pain. He still felt a little dizzy and he looked a little green to Steve.

"You going to keep your breakfast down?" Steve asked, still holding on to him.

"Not planning on breaking that streak today," Danny assured him, sounding more confident than he felt as he took the first tentative step.

Steve stayed with him, offering physical and moral support from his side. When they neared the door, Steve stepped away quickly and swung it closed before coming back. He had no problem teasing his partner, mercilessly at times, but he'd always have his back.

The bathroom itself proved problematic to Danny after Steve helped him in there. His legs were shaky, his right arm was useless, his left arm was attached to the IV line while his left hand held onto the pole for support. To top it all off, the hospital gown was in the way. If he let go of the pole to hold the gown out of the way, he was afraid he would fall. He had no choice though. Cautiously, he released his grip on the pole, felt himself waver and reached for it again. "Crap."

Standing just outside the door, Steve was torn. On one hand he wanted to give him his privacy but on the other hand he didn't want him to do a face plant into the toilet. He knew if he asked Danny if he needed help the answer would be a resounding no. The man had too much pride to ask for help in the bathroom. Seeing Danny waver a second time though, he made a decision. He backed into the bathroom, grabbed a hold of the edge of the gown and tugged it up, eyes looking out the bathroom door. "You've got 30 seconds before the curtain goes down, partner. I hope you don't have stage fright."

Danny performed in less than 20, ad-libbing some mumbling comment about goofy Neanderthal partners who like to get a little too up-close and personal. Steve responded with a simple "you're welcome" as he dropped the curtain. Steve was very aware of how humiliating and demeaning the situation was for Danny, on top of how terrified he surely was at the thought of never using his arm again. Nothing more would ever be said about it.

He was not, however, above teasing Danny about his lack of clothing. "Come on, buddy," Steve said as he turned and slipped under Danny's arm that held onto the IV pole. "Let's get you back under cover before that cute nurse comes in and sees you in all your glory."

When Danny was safely tucked back in bed, he heard his cell phone buzz and he checked the message. He looked up at Steve. "Can I ask you another favor? Get me some shorts? There's a pair in my gym bag in my locker. Melissa's not sure when she can get here. "

Steve wondered about Melissa being too busy to come. It didn't sit right with him. He tried not to judge, though. He didn't know what her own situation was, and he wasn't going to ask Danny. "Sure. I'll send them with whoever is coming next." He noticed that Danny's eyes were drooping. He still looked pale and drawn, with pain lines around his eyes instead of the laugh lines he preferred to see. "I'll let you sleep now," he added softly as he patted Danny on the leg.

His eyes now shut, Danny mumbled something unintelligible as Steve left quietly. While Danny was exhausted from the doctor's exam, the emotional conversation and the trek to the bathroom, Steve was buoyed by the heartfelt conversation. He left the hospital feeling capable of facing catching bad guys without his partner by his side, for today anyway.

When Danny awoke he was alone in the room. He didn't remember Steve leaving but he wasn't surprised that he was gone. The man had a job to do, a job that Danny might never get to do again he lamented with a sigh before pushing those thoughts away. He didn't expect Steve to sit there and watch him sleep. The thought of it was actually kind of creepy.

Knowing it was afternoon in New Jersey now, Danny called his parents' home, half hoping nobody would answer. He knew Steve had called them last night and told them about the attack and he was pretty sure that poor Eric's phone had then been inundated with calls asking for updates. There had been a few missed calls on his own phone that he missed while he slept. The concept of the time change was still a challenge for some in the family. As much as he knew that his parents simply needed to hear his voice he also knew that they wouldn't want to hear the news the doctor had given him. His thoughts were interrupted when his mother answered the line.

"Daniel, is that you?" came the panicked voice of his mother.

"Yeah. Hi Mom."

"How are you son?" His father must have picked up the other phone.

"I'm doing okay, Pop."

"Can you feel anything with your hand? Can you move it? Eric said you couldn't move it." Clara was never one for subtlety. At least Danny didn't have to break the news.

"Clara!" Ed admonished.

"It's okay, Pop. No Mom. No change. Please don't cry," he added as she burst into tears. "Mom, it's going to be okay. Really. It's all going to be just fine." He kept trying to convince himself of that, too.

While his mother tried to pull herself together the two men continued to talk. "Steve said Eric found you."

"He did good Pop. You should be proud of him. He may have saved my life." They spoke of Eric and all that had transpired for a while until Clara got back on the line, composed again now.

"How's Grace?" Clara asked.

"She's great, as always," Danny said with pride. "She'll be coming by after school."

"Give her a big hug and kiss for us," Clara told him.

"Danny, how's that other grandson of mine," Ed now asked, meaning Charlie, not Eric.

"He's amazing Pop. He loves the firefighter costume you sent him." He didn't mention that it came too late for Halloween. He had simply dressed him up in it and pulled out the camera.

"We saw the pictures. He looks so much like you when you were that age," Clara said. Danny braced himself for the question his mother always asked about how Rachel could have lied about his paternity – as if Danny knew the answer. Apparently, his injury now trumped that story. "You're not letting him come to the hospital are you? He's much too young for hospitals."

Danny didn't remind her that the boy had just spent a couple months in the children's hospital after the transplant. "No ma. I can't wait to get out of here and give him a big hug though."

The conversation continued for another half hour. They discussed the weather and Danny was jealous of the chilly conditions his mother whined about. They spoke about each of his sisters and how they were doing. Being on his mind since his talk with Steve earlier, Danny asked about how the Selways were doing. He stopped in to see them every time he went back to New Jersey and exchanged occasional phone calls and emails as well. He was warmed by the fact that they allowed him a special place in their hearts as they held in his.

When Danny shifted in the bed and couldn't hide the groan the conversation came back around to him and to why he was injured more times in 6 years in "paradise" Hawaii than he had been in his 13 years as a cop in crime infested Newark NJ. Danny explained again that his work here was on a statewide, special task force for big crime, which carried big risk.

His mother wasn't satisfied with the answer and they moved on yet again to the subject of his arm, to the prospect of permanent disability and what he would do with himself if he couldn't be a cop. His father was encouraging, saying they should think positive and table this conversation until they knew more but his mother seemed to have given up already and brought herself to tears more than once. It hit Danny hard and so it was with a heavy heart and tears in his own eyes that Danny finally said his goodbyes and ended the call.

Thoughts rattling around frantically in his head from the call with his parents his gaze drifted down to his arm resting in the sling. He tried to move his arm, his hand, even just a finger, but no matter how hard he tried, nothing would budge. He kept at it, focusing his mind on it. He had never before thought about how you send a signal from your brain to your body to make it move. The doctor had tried to explain it all to him after he awoke from the surgery, but it had been extremely overwhelming. Danny's brain had tried to shut off at the first mention of possibly never using his hand again. He didn't catch much after that.

How could his arm be paralyzed if his central nervous system hadn't been compromised? He struggled to focus but couldn't come up with details of what the doctor had said. He picked up his cell phone and tried an Internet search. It took him a few tries before he came up with the right words to search and his limited typing ability with his left hand slowed the process down even further. Having nowhere to go and nothing to do, however, the slow pace didn't bother the normally high-speed man very much.

Finally, Danny was able to piece some things together. The somatic nervous system, a part of the peripheral nervous system controlled voluntary body movement such as movement of the arm. Motor neurons within that system carry nerve impulses from the brain to the muscles to be moved. Controlling body movement involves a complex interaction between sensory neurons, the brain, and motor neurons. In Danny's case, apparently, the knife attack had somehow damaged the interactive process.

Just wonderful. Trying to communicate with his teenage daughter, his preschool son, his lying ex-wife and his emotionally stunted partner was bad enough. Now he couldn't even communicate with his own freaking arm. How was this his life?

He tried again to move some part of his right arm - just a flicker, something, anything. But nothing. Not a damn thing. He pounded his left hand into the mattress as he let out a sob.

He sat like that the rest of the morning, repeating the same cycle – typing, researching, reading, thinking, trying, trying, trying to move his arm and then pounding his left hand on the bed in frustration as tears filled his eyes.

"What did that bed do to you, Jersey?"

Lou's voice halted Danny's latest round of pounding. "I need a punching bag, Lou. I need to lift some weights or something. I need to be able to get out of this bed before I go totally, certifiably insane. Don't say it!" Danny held up his left hand as a warning to Lou to not even try a joke about his sanity.

Lou heard the crack in Danny's voice, saw the tears in his eyes, but didn't comment on it. He knew from Danny's own admission how he struggled with anxiety, fear, self doubts. Danny had told him how keeping moving, keeping busy, keeping talking helped to quiet the worries and fears that rattled around in his head all the time. It was how he functioned, how he made it through each day. Sitting here in bed, alone, with nothing to do and nobody to talk to had to be torture for him. Throw the prospect of a permanently disabled arm and the pain he was experiencing into the mix and it had to have been pure hell.

Lou smiled to try and change the mood. "Maybe this will help." He tossed Danny's small duffle bag onto Danny's legs. "Besides going stir crazy, how you feeling?" he asked while Danny pulled the bag closer to him and began to fumble with the zipper. "You look much better than the last time I saw you."

"Well, if we're comparing to yesterday then I feel amazing. Got the good stuff flowing, ya know?" He held up his left hand to show him the IV line, and then went back to work on the zipper. "If we're comparing to the day before that, I feel like crap." He tugged at the zipper several times with a frustrated grunt. This zipper was difficult on a good day with two hands. Roughly shoving the bag away, he reached up to his head and squeezed his temples to try and alleviate some of the tension.

"Just ask for help, buddy. We're here for you," Lou said softly as he reached over and tugged the zipper open. Even he found it a bit difficult and he was using two hands.

Danny sighed, getting a better handle on his emotions. "Thanks Lou. Sorry about that."

"Hey, you're going through a rough time, man. I get it. Just don't try to do this alone." He placed the bag back in Danny's lap.

Danny nodded and peered into the bag, his face lighting up as he pulled out a phone charger and a pair of gym shorts from amongst the things inside. "Come here so I can kiss you babe," he told Lou in his own creative way of saying thank you.

"Save that kiss for Renee," Lou said as he reached over to a chair and picked up a plastic bag that Danny hadn't seen him put there.

The scent of warm food assaulted Danny's senses and he smiled even broader. Danny remembered the Eggplant Parmesan that Renee had sent to him when he was in the hospital for the bone marrow donation to Charlie. Lou and Renee seemed to have a good, happy, solid marriage, the kind of marriage Danny had hoped for all his life, the kind he thought he would have when he married Rachel. He was happy for Lou. He was a good man and he deserved to be happy. "I'll say it again Lou, I hope you realize what a lucky man you are. What did she send this time?" He would have rubbed his hands together in delightful anticipation if he could have. Instead he licked his lips.

"Chicken Parm," he said as he began to open the bag and move the container onto the bed table. He went on before Danny could voice the objection he was sure was on his mind. "Carefully cut into bite size pieces by Samantha - and if you try and kiss my daughter I will have to come back here and hurt you."

Danny laughed and held up his left hand in a show of peace. "Please express my deepest verbal thanks to Samantha."

"Will do. Now, do you want to eat first or get some clothes on?

"I prefer to eat while dressed like a civilized human being," Danny answered.

Lou didn't even give him a chance to ask him to close the door. "How much is it worth it to you for me to close that door?" he asked with a smirk.

"You've been hanging around Steve too much," Danny told him.

"Old joke?" Lou lifted a questioning eyebrow.

"Very old." As Lou closed the door, Danny kicked the covers off and with a pair of boxers in his left hand began to lean forward to try and get them on.

Lou watched Danny's careful movements in empathy. The man was clearly hurting but trying not to show it. It would take him a very long time to accomplish this task on his own right now, one-handed and in pain. Silently, he reached over and helped Danny get the boxers over his feet and then pull them up over his hips under the gown, his dignity remaining intact. They repeated the silent process with the gray gym shorts.

"Thanks Lou," Danny said with true gratitude, but unable to look the man in the eye. Needing help to get dressed was simply humiliating.

"Nothing you wouldn't have done for me," was Lou's reply. "Although with your skinny hips my job was much easier than yours would be."

Danny laughed. "Keep bringing me Renee's cooking and that could change pretty quick." He gingerly reached for the table to pull it over his lap.

"There are easier ways to fatten yourself up without a hospital stay, you know."

"Now you tell me," Danny joked as he took a forkful of the food and closed his eyes in enjoyment as he chewed. "Delicious. I wish my mother had known how to cook like this."

"Clara's not a good cook?" Lou asked.

"Tuna fish sandwiches and spaghetti with ketchup were two of her top culinary specialties," Danny told him with a laugh before taking another bite.

"Eww. Where'd you learn how to cook then?" Danny wasn't a gourmet but he was more than a decent cook. He had heard him discuss recipes with Renee several times.

"Combination of insomnia and the Cooking Channel after the divorce. Didn't want to feed Grace takeout all the time."

"You're a good father." Lou and Danny weren't big on mushy talk or compliments but they both took fatherhood seriously. They had shared 'trade secrets' more than once. Danny's help and support after Samantha had been kidnapped had been invaluable to Lou, a debt he felt he never could repay.

Danny put the fork down, the depressive funk covering him like a shroud again. "How am I going to be a father to them if I can't move my arm? Forget about picking Charlie up or showing him how to make that sweet throw to first. How do I cook for them? How do I put Charlie in his car seat? How do I help Grace with her hair or fasten the bracelet she can't do by herself …"

Lou cut him off, his voice firm but sincere. "You do what you can one-handed man, IF it even comes to that, but you know as well as I do that being a good father doesn't come from what you can do with your hands. It comes from what's in your heart. Those kids know you love them, Danny. That's what's important. Everything else can be worked out."

Lou was right but it was so difficult to accept that he might not ever use that arm again. Tears filled Danny's eyes again. How many times could a grown man cry in one day? Intent on calming his nerves he took a deep breath that instead sent shockwaves through his back. He groaned in pain and pushed his head back into the pillows.

"Easy man. Easy," Lou told him. The combination of physical and emotional pain took a taxing toll on the body. "Why don't you use that pain pump?" Danny glared at him with hazy blue eyes. "Never mind, I know, you're Superman just like your partner."

The pain easing to a barely manageable level, Danny picked the fork up and began to eat again. "None for you?" he asked.

"Oh I ate already," Lou assured him. "You just got the leftovers." Lou loved being able to go home for lunch.

"Nothing interesting came in today?" If it had, Danny knew nobody would have had the time to go home for lunch, much less come and visit his sorry butt.

"Quiet as a mouse. Just putting some finishing touches on the paperwork for the whack-job who put you in here." He smiled as Danny finished the plate of food.

Danny nodded his head but said nothing. Those finishing touches were his specialty. Steve had even told him, while he was bleeding all over that classroom floor, that he was the one who would dot the i's and cross the t's on the whack-job's paperwork. But that was before they found out he might never be able to return to Five-O or even to a normal life. He guessed this was the new world order. Life would go on without him.

A/N I hope you're enjoying the roller-coaster ride of Danny's emotions. I actually feel everything Danny is going through before I put it on paper. I've discovered that writing this story is raising my blood pressure. My systolic rises about 15 points from before I sit down to write until after and my pulse is way too fast according to my med school son. That's a problem. It's slowing me down. So, I apologize for the slow posting but I'm doing what I can.

A/N Sorry for all the author's notes. I enjoyed writing Lou in this one. Not sure if I got him right though. I'm most comfortable with Danny and Steve (although I have yet to write a Danny rant anywhere near the level that Scott improv's them). Let me know if you want me to take a shot at writing some Chin and Kono.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N I do not own the rights to any of the characters.

A/N To the Guest reviewer who suggested I make Danny and Steve a couple: I don't do slash. Never have, never will. I write their friendship based on what is written on Hawaii Five-O, on the friendships I see male family members and friends have, and on the friendship that I have seen between the two actors who play Danny and Steve in interviews of Scott and Alex. Paraphrasing something I heard Channing Tatum say – it's okay for two men to say "I love you", they just have to add "man" to the end. Men should be allowed to love each other and be close without being labeled. That said, thank you for your review. I'm glad you like the story so far and I hope you keep reading even though they will never be a couple on my page.

A/N Thank for all the reviews, follows and favorites. It's truly humbling. I try to reply to every review as time permits. If I missed yours, I apologize. I stayed up way too late to get this posted, but I have a crazy weekend and then a busy week so I wanted to get this out.

H50 H50 H50

Now that he had shorts on, the next time Danny needed to use the bathroom he unsnapped the gown and left it on the bed before heading to the bathroom with the aid of a nurse. Feeling steadier on his feet helped as well. Returning to the bed, he never bothered donning the ugly, scratchy, hot gown again. He couldn't figure out how to put in on with just one hand; taking it off was much easier. Besides, he was feeling warm, with the heat of the Hawaiian sun forcing itself through the window so he simply sat on the bed in his shorts, with the covers pushed to the foot of the bed, trying to stay as cool as possible.

There were flower and balloon arrangements and even a few edible arrangements and stuffed animals now adorning the room. Danny had been surprised when they first began to arrive and the feeling only increased as more were brought in. A few were from people he knew well and weren't surprising at all – his parents, his sisters, some aunts, uncles and cousins, even the Selways - God bless them, his parents must have called them. Others were from people he knew well, but he wasn't sure how they knew he was even here; word certainly traveled fast – his old detective squad in Newark, Meka's widow Amy, Duke and Pua and some of the other HPD guys, even a bunch of shrimp shaped balloons from Kamekona and Flippa; at least he thought they were shrimp.

But others were totally surprising. There were two flower arrangements, four balloon arrangements and three stuffed animals from women he didn't know personally. He recognized a few of the women's names. One was the brunette, Vikki Lavergne, who had come on to him during his office hours, calling him Ben while sitting seductively on his desk and telling him he was approachable. What was it with young women these days? Another was a perky blond who always stared and smiled at him during class and who Eric had told him had Danny on her 'to do list'. Again he wondered about women these days. Several others mentioned Professor Jeffries on the card so he knew they were also from his class. He figured the others must have been also, as the names seemed vaguely familiar. It was simultaneously flattering and perplexing.

When another hospital helper came in carrying a stuffed bear attired in a police uniform Danny shook his head in disbelief. "Thank you. My son will love this but are you sure these are all for me?" Even though they all had his name on them Danny was so taken aback that he wasn't sure.

The young woman smiled, trying to tear her eyes away from his bare broad shoulders and chest, not in the least marred by the two inch stitched up wound or by the two older scars on his abdomen and the two on his upper left arm. He looked so ruggedly sexy. "You are Danny Williams, right?" At Danny's affirmative nod she went on. "Then they're all yours. If you don't want them, I can take them back."

"No. No. It's okay. I'm just surprised." He didn't want to appear ungrateful.

"Well, I'll be here a few more hours so maybe I'll see you again." With that she tossed him a dazzling smile, a wink and a little wave and left.

Kono noticed the young woman's flirty exit as she walked in with Grace carrying balloons and a few over-stuffed bags.

"Danno!" Grace shouted enthusiastically as she rushed to his side.

"Monkey!" he replied with equal vigor, stretching his left arm out for a hug.

Grace was old enough now, and sadly experienced enough with her Dad being injured, that she stepped carefully into the embrace. Danny buried his face in her hair, breathing in the scent of her lavender shampoo. Oh how he loved her! She was the best medicine.

"Does it hurt much, Danno?" she said with a hint of tears in her eyes.

"Not with you here," was her father's reply as he gave her a kiss. He never wanted Grace to worry, so he wouldn't bother her with talk of pain. He could suck it up for a few hours of peaceful bliss with her.

She smiled. He always, always, always made her feel like the most special person in the universe. Even with Charlie in the picture now, he still managed to do it. She was pretty sure Charlie was starting to feel the same way.

Released from the hug, Danny turned to his friend but she spoke first as she gave him her own hug. "Hey brah. You look better than the last time I saw you." He looked haggard and pain lines creased his forehead. A row of stitches highlighted the red wound on his shoulder that stood out on his too pale skin. The two older scars on his abdomen and the two on his arm were now much less noticeable. He felt a bit warm to her touch and his face glistened with a fine sheen of sweat, which worried her a bit. But he was awake and talking which was so much better than when she last saw him still out cold from the surgery.

"Seems to be a consistent opinion," Danny laughed. "Thanks for coming, Kono, and for bringing this special blessing over here." He reached for Grace's hand and squeezed.

"Anytime brah." Looking at him sitting there in nothing but his shorts, Kono couldn't help but admire his broad-shouldered, well muscled physique, which reminded her. "Make a new friend?" she asked with a smirk, nodding her head at the now empty door where the very young flirtatious hospital worker had left. "What's that all about?"

Danny glanced at the door and caught on to her kidding. "Hey, people like me, Kono. When Steve's not around to intimidate them," he jested back, eliciting a chuckle from Kono.

"Look at all this stuff," Grace said as she admired the gifts that had been delivered.

"Melissa outdo herself?" Kono kidded, but Danny just shook his head no.

Grace read names off some of the gift cards. "Grandma and Pop, Aunt Stella, that's Eric's mom," she explained to Kono in case she didn't know. She read off a few other family names, explaining to Kono who each one was. "Ooooh, chocolate covered fruit! We have to open that. It's from the Selways." Again she explained to Kono. "Their son was best friends with Danno, but he died. They have albums full of pictures of the two of them as little kids. I love looking at them. They have a picture of me and Danno on their wall, too."

Kono glanced at Danny. Saw the flash of aching remembrance. Said nothing. Grace kept right on going. "Are these shrimp?" she asked about a batch of balloons.

"I think so Monkey. They're from Kame and Flippa."

"They look weird if you ask me," Kono opined.

"Danno, who's Vikki Lavergne?"

"Uh, she was in the class I was teaching."

That really caught Kono's attention. "She gave you a bear holding a heart?! Seriously Danny? She the teacher's pet?"

Danny was blushing now and tried to change the subject. "Hey, I see you brought some balloons."

But Grace and Kono were too intrigued by the gifts to be distracted. Every name that Grace didn't know was a female name. She read them off. "You have some kind of fan club going at that university?" Kono finally asked, a huge grin on her face. She was actually impressed that he had made that much of an impression but she wasn't going to tell him that.

Danny shrugged and quickly regretted it as the pain shot through his back. He gasped but tried to cover it up. He never wanted Grace to worry. But she noticed, they both did, and they came right over to him. "You okay Danno?"

"Yeah," he breathed out eventually as the pain leveled off. Blowing air out softly to relax, he finally was able to speak again. "Hey Monkey. Which stuffed animal do you like best? Take your pick and it's yours."

Grace looked them over and then picked up the cute light haired bear with its arm in a tiny little sling and hugged it. "I like this one. Thanks Danno. He's Ben, Professor Ben Jeffries and I love him already."

Smiling broadly, Danny turned to Kono. "You can have one too. But not this one." He nodded to the one in the police uniform. As Kono shook her head in declination, Danny went on. "That's for Charlie. Would you bring it to him for me, Grace?"

"He'll love it," Grace agreed with a nod. "He wanted to come but Mom said no. He picked out the balloons, though." She grabbed the balloons they brought in and moved them next to the bed. A monkey, a tiger, and a seal shaped balloons.

Danny laughed, albeit cautiously. "Danno's zoo."

Grace again explained to Kono. "I'm Monkey. Charlie is Tiger and the seal is…"

Kono got it now. "Let me guess. The seal is Steve." She snickered. "That's cute Danny, really cute."

Still holding the bear, Grace hopped off the bed. "I have some other things for you, too. Eric helped me with some of them." She picked up two plastic grocery bags and placed them on the long windowsill shelf near the bed and looked in, pulling out some of the items as she went. "Toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, hair gel, electric beard trimmer – Eric said you probably couldn't safely use a razor with your left hand and I didn't want you cutting yourself. Let's see, what else, in this bag there's a few pairs of shorts and boxers and clothes for when you get to come home! I hope that's tomorrow." She turned around and looked at Danny, a big smile lighting up her angelic face.

"I love you Monkey, thank you. Eric helped you with that?"

"Yep, I called him and we decided what you needed and he put it all in the bags, so Kono could pick them up."

"I guess I owe him another thank you." He grinned now as he pretended to growl. "And then I'll let him know to never go through my things again. Let a guy be your house guest for six months and he thinks he owns the place."

"Check this out," Grace said, beaming. She hated that her Dad was so badly injured but she loved spoiling him when he was. She pulled a stack of papers from another bag. "Ms. Kalua had my class make get-well cards for you. She gave us lots of time to make them too." She leaned towards Kono and whispered conspiratorially, "I think she likes my dad."

"I heard that Monkey," Danny said with a clear father's warning voice while Kono responded to Grace's words with a wink. "You shouldn't be talking like that."

"But it's true."

"Even if it was, which it's not, it's not something you should be saying."

Grace looked at him with those big, brown puppy dog eyes that got to him every time. "I'm sorry Danno."

"I know Monkey. Just think before you talk, huh?"

Kono snorted.

"What are you laughing at rookie?" She wasn't a rookie anymore, hadn't been for five years, but sometimes, the nickname just seemed to fit. She actually didn't mind when Danny said it. Somehow it made her feel special.

"Just thinking about a pot and a kettle."

Grace looked confused while Danny shook his head. "You are so not funny." He then turned back to his daughter. "Please tell Ms. Kalua and your class that I said thank you. It was very nice of all of them." It would give him something to do when he was alone and bored the next day.

"There's more," Grace said as she pulled a Tupperware box from another bag. "Charlie and I made brownies!" That really made Danny perk up. "But, don't worry, Eric didn't help."

Danny laughed. He knew Grace could make brownies by herself now. She was 14 after all and had done it with Danny's supervision many times. "What are we waiting for then?" he asked, mentally rubbing his hands together in glee while taking the box from his daughter. "Get the basket from the Selway's. We're going to have a party!"

Just then, Chin walked in. "Hey man, how's it going?" He stuck out his left hand for Danny to shake.

"Couldn't be better. Got the best medicine around," Danny replied, his left arm now pointing to his daughter who was bringing the basket over. "Thanks for coming."

"Abby sends her best wishes," Chin said, with a tinge of pink coloring the tips of his ears.

"She does, huh? Tell her I send my love. We'll have to get together sometime so I can share my undercover adventure stories with her." Danny teased, recalling the time back at the Palace when this whole thing started and Chin looked a bit jealous at Abby's interest in Danny's undercover work.

"Bring Melissa and we'll make it a double date," Chin said, grinning.

"That good, huh?" Danny asked, purposely not responding about Melissa. He still hadn't heard from her after the morning text when she said she was busy and wasn't sure when she could come. It hurt to think about what it might mean and he just couldn't handle it now.

Chin blushed. "I guess you could say that."

"You can definitely say that," Kono piped in to tease her cousin. "He picks her up in the morning, they ride together during the day so he can 'show her the ropes' of course, and then he brings her home, maybe has dinner with her …"

"Well, she is all alone on this pineapple infested island," Danny pointed out.

"See, he understands," Chin told Kono, still blushing.

"Well, she's welcome to come and join the party we're about to have."

"Party? Celebrating something?" Chin asked.

"I'm still breathing, that's good enough reason for me," Danny said with a smile. He didn't mention that breathing hurt, "and I have every intention of using this arm again so we'll throw that in too."

The three visitors stopped silently in their tracks and looked at Danny. "You can move your hand, Danno?" Grace asked for all of them.

"Nope. Not yet, but I will." At least that's how he felt at the moment and what he wanted his daughter to believe.

"Good on ya, brah. Stay positive," Chin told him as Danny set to work opening the box of brownies. He looked around the room at all the flowers and gifts. "Woah, what's with all the flowers and stuff? Melissa get all mushy on you?"

Danny found it unsurprising that the two cousins had the same sense of humor, a bad sense of humor at that the way he felt right now. He knew they had no idea how much the subject of Melissa rankled him right now so he simply chose to ignore the question rather than reply to it.

"They're from the Professor Jeffries fan club at the University," Kono said with a jaunty laugh.

Grace unknowingly saved Danny from further enquiry on that subject. "Look at this Uncle Chin. Chocolate covered fruit from the Selways." Grace spoke as she opened the clear plastic wrap that covered the treats.

Chin turned to Danny. "Who are the Selways?" He didn't recognize the name.

"Friends from Jersey. Their son and I were friends," Danny answered vaguely, still trying to open the box with one hand.

But Grace didn't hold the heartache her father did so she piped in with more information, although she didn't have many details. "Billy was Danno's best friend. He died when they were kids. His parents love my dad." She finished unwrapping the basket.

Chin and Kono each glanced at Danny and then exchanged a look. Chin spoke for both of them. "Sorry about your friend, man." It was cliché, but it couldn't go unsaid.

Danny looked up from the box and nodded his acceptance, then spoke to Grace, his voice a little strained, the closed box he was struggling with still in his lap. "You going to keep all the chocolate covered bananas to yourself or will you share, you little monkey?"

"Is that how you got your nickname? Because you love bananas?" Kono asked.

"Well that and because she used to climb everywhere," Danny said with a big smile, still fiddling with the box lid as Grace bit into a chocolate covered banana.

"When I was little, Danno would stand with his hands on his knees and I would climb all the way up to his shoulders."

"Sounds fun," Kono said. She loved her own father dearly, but they never had the close relationship that Danny and Grace had. It was unique and special.

Chin's thoughts mirrored Kono's. Danny could be irascible, sarcastic, argumentative and difficult to be around, but his fierce loyalty to those closest to him was unparalleled.

As if to prove the first part of Chin's thoughts Danny spoke up. "Somebody going to give me something from that basket or you going to make me get up and get it myself? And if you want any brownies you're going to have to open this yourself. Add it to the list of things you can't do with one hand." He dropped the box back onto the bed in defeat.

"Get it yourself, brah. I'm busy," Kono said as she took a bite of chocolate covered pineapple. Chin grabbed one just like it.

"Hey! Save some pineapple for the sick guy."

"I thought you hated pineapple," Kono said in reply.

"Only on pizza. Pineapple on pizza is…"

"An abomination," came three voices in unison.

"Ah, so you know!" Danny grinned in victory.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N I know it seems like a long time because it takes so long to post, but keep in mind this is just the day after Danny was stabbed.

A/N There is a tip of the hat to Scott Caan in this chapter. A shout out to whomever identifies it clearly. Actually, there's a tip of the hat to his father, too, so don't let that confuse you.

A/N Found an error I needed to fix so you may see this as being posted twice. Sorry.

H50 H50 H50

An hour later, when Steve came in time to observe the physical therapy session, he found the four of them deeply engrossed in the board game Clue that Kono had brought and snacking on brownies and chocolate covered fruit. He wasn't thrilled with Danny's physical appearance. He looked pale and tired. His breathing seemed labored and his movements as he reached to pick up and throw the dice on the bed table just in front of him were guarded and restrained. Still, he looked happy, surrounded by ohana, especially his very special daughter.

"Hey Gracie!" he said as he entered. He had seen the cousins all day and had seen Danny that morning. But he hadn't seen Grace since before her dad was injured. He placed the bag he was carrying on the floor and headed to his partner's daughter.

"Uncle Steve!" Grace greeted him, hopping from the bed and giving him a special hug. She was getting tall now, her head reaching his chest. Tears came to her eyes and a sob escaped her throat as she hugged him tightly.

He returned the firm embrace. If this is what Grace needed right now, as her dad sat severely injured in a hospital bed, then this is what she'd get. He exchanged a worried glance with Danny as he stroked her hair and the cousins watched in silence.

"Hey Monkey," Danny called from the bed. "What's the matter, sweetie? Why all the tears? I'm going to be fine. Just wait and see." He pushed himself up higher in the bed and couldn't completely contain the groan it provoked. Great, just great, very convincing. He puffed out a few breaths to ease the throbbing in his back.

"I don't like to see you hurt," she sobbed to her father, while relishing Steve's embrace.

"Neither do I, Grace," Steve said as he held her. "None of us like to see your dad hurt. But he's going to be okay. He's doing much better already. Look at him sitting there like he's ready to go surfing." A little friendly jab about sitting around shirtless. He leaned back a bit and looked her in the eye. "Okay?"

"Okay." She sniffed then left Steve's embrace to give her father a hug. After wiping her eyes and blowing her nose she was composed again.

Steve checked out the basket of chocolate covered fruit. It looked really good.

"Help yourself," Danny told him. "It's from Billy's parents."

Steve chose a chocolate covered apple slice and raised it towards Danny. "To Billy," he said with a lump in his throat.

"To Billy," Danny agreed, exchanging a meaningful look with his best friend. It was obvious to Chin and Kono that Steve knew much more about Billy Selway from Danny than Grace had shared with them. It didn't bother either one of them because they knew very well the deep bond that the two men shared.

Steve then decided to lighten things up a bit. "So, what's this game?"

"It's a mystery game called Clue," Kono said. "You use clues to help solve a murder by keeping track with your private notes." She showed him one of the special notepads.

"She's likes bringing her work home," Chin joked.

Kono stuck her tongue out at him.

"Who's winning?" Steve asked, reaching for a brownie now.

"You can't really tell who's winning until somebody actually wins." She shot an annoyed look at Danny now. "But some people won't even try." She pointed to the fact that the note pad in front of him was empty.

"Don't count me out so easily sister," Danny taunted with a smile, pointing to his head.

She looked at him askance. There was no way he could keep track of all these clues in his head, could he?

Steve looked at Danny's confident visage and smirked. He either knew what he was doing or was putting on his poker face. Steve knew from experience that Danny had a good poker face. His wallet was made lighter because of it many times. "Well, better make it quick because he has a PT session in less than an hour."

"Mother hen!" Danny whined with a laugh. He was beginning to feel like total crap and his back felt like it was on fire and being electrocuted simultaneously, but he was battling to put on a good face for Grace. The doctor had said this burning, electric kind of pain he had suffered a few times that day was from damaged nerves. He would receive some treatment with his physical therapy for it but otherwise there wasn't much they could do for it. He'd have to wait it out and hope it stopped as the nerves healed.

On Danny's next turn he gingerly reached to pick up the dice. He rolled them and moved his piece into the Study. "Okay, I'm going to solve the mystery. It's a little too close to home but Professor Plum, with the knife, in the study."

"Ooh, yeah brah, that is a bit ironic, but you are so wrong," Kono said.

"I agree," Chin said. "You got it wrong."

Danny looked to Grace now for her opinion. "Sorry Danno."

"You too?" Danny pooh-poohed his daughter. "Well, the proof is in that little envelope," Danny said, pointing to the small brown envelope in the middle of the board. "You want to do the honors, Super SEAL? Look in there and show them I'm right. Professor Plum, with the knife, in the study." He repeated his answer with utmost confidence.

Opening the envelope, Steve pulled out the cards and looked at them. He didn't know how the game worked so he asked to be sure. "I show them?"

"If he's right, you show them, but there's just no way," Chin said.

A fond smile graced Steve's face as he moved his eyes from the cards to his partner. He placed them on the table one at a time as he spoke. "Professor Plum, with the knife, in the study."

"Bada Bing!" Danny shouted with a thrust of his left hand that he quickly regretted. He stifled the groan the best he could. The other three, busily buzzing about how he managed to get it right, only Steve noticed.

"How'd you do that, Danno? You didn't even write one thing down," Grace asked.

Seeing that his partner was hurting, Steve decided to answer for him. "Your dad is a detective, sport, a really good detective. Every day he sees and hears and catalogues information and clues, making sure he remembers them when it's needed. He's done this kind of thing every day for many years."

Grace beamed with pride at her father. Steve did too at his brother of the heart.

"I have to admit, that was really impressive," Chin said. "But I have one question. Bada bing?" he asked with a laugh.

"I'll have you know that it's now a part of the urban dictionary," Danny replied about the expression made famous by the Sonny character in The Godfather movie, teeth gritted against the fiery surging pain.

"I hate to break up the party but 'Sonny' here needs to get ready for PT," Steve said continuing the joke. As Grace began to clean up the game, he caught Chin and Kono's attention with his eyes to indicate that Danny was tiring. He could use a rest before the grueling therapy.

"And I have to get you home before your Mom sends out a search party," Kono told Grace.

"You go on home. We'll clean up," Chin told them.

Having said their good byes Kono and Grace carrying Ben and the Police the bear of course, left the room, Steve and Chin walking them to the door and watching as they made their way around the corner.

When they were gone, the two men turned and saw Danny practically writhing in pain. He had lowered the bed and turned onto his side. "What the hell, Danny!" Steve barked. Moving quickly towards him. "Use the pain pump." Danny was lying on the button or else Steve would have pushed it himself, even though that wasn't really allowed.

"Won't - do a - damn – thing," Danny panted through the pain.

"Don't be so stubborn," Chin said, much more calmly than Steve. "You don't have to be the tough guy with us."

"Do I - look - tough - to you?" Danny ground out in a whimper, tears in his eyes. He was panting, trying to catch enough air with each excruciating breath. "Nerve - pain." He panted out between breaths. "Pump - won't help."

It took more than 20 minutes, but the fiery, tingly shock-like surge of pain that Danny experienced slowly eased to a more manageable dull roar, leaving him exhausted, shaky and drenched in sweat.

"What the hell was that?" Steve demanded of Danny.

"Take it easy, brah," Chin chastised. He knew Steve was worried about his best friend, but treating that best friend as if he had done something wrong was not the solution. He turned to Danny now. "You said nerve pain? Looked brutal."

"Yeah. Nerve pain. Happened a few times today. Doc says damage to my motor nerves is causing the paralysis and numbness. But I also have damage to the sensory nerves, which makes the back of my shoulder feel like a bad sunburn all the time. But sometimes, the pain increases and feels like a fire burning my skin and like somebody took a car battery to it at the same time." Danny was holding his right shoulder with his left hand as he spoke, his breathing still shallow and labored.

Neither Steve nor Chin had any idea that Danny had been feeling this burning pain on top of the muscle pain and wound pain that were obvious. "Why didn't you say anything?" Steve asked angrily. He wasn't angry with Danny, he was angry at the situation, but he brought that anger down on his friend's head with his heated tone.

Danny, as was his way, responded in kind. "Say anything? Like what? 'Hey Steve, just thought you might like to know that on top of all the other crap I've had to deal with today my back feels like the worst sunburn I ever had, and that says a hellevua lot considering what happens to my pale haole skin under the completely unrelenting sun in this pineapple infested hellhole that an insane amount of people insist on calling paradise.' You mean something like that Steven? Is that what I should have said? Had a little whine with my cheese?"

He didn't let Steve get a word in. He just kept right on going. "Maybe you even want to hear that the wound is infected and the antibiotics aren't doing the trick so they took a sample of the pus oozing out of my back - how's that for a pretty image? - so they can figure out what might work to kill that infection before it kills me. Oh and as an added bonus, they're worried about my blood pressure being too high. Sound like a good conversation starter? Is that what you want me to say when you ask how I'm doing?"

Danny's raw emotions were laid completely bare for both Steve and Chin to see.

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to say. I want to know everything!," Steve answered sharply, shocked not by the rant but by the information that had been revealed. "I'm your partner."

"You just don't get it, do you? Hate to break it to you Steven, but I'm not your partner anymore. I can't even pee by myself. How am I supposed to cover your crazy SuperSEAL Ninja back?" Shaking with misplaced anger of his own, Danny's face was a shiny sweat covered red.

Holding his hand up to stop Steve from letting off some more of the steam he had built up, Chin finally spoke up in the same calm, rational tone they could always expect from the man. "Right now Danny, you don't. Right now you let Steve, let us," he corrected as he waved his hand as a way of indicating the whole Five-O team, "have your back."

Thankful for the assist, Steve was able to corral his emotions. He completely understood Danny's anger and frustration, especially with the additional news of infection, because he had the same anger and frustrations himself. This was all so totally unfair that a good cop, a good man, could suffer such a devastating injury while doing his job. He knew it was a risk of being a Police officer just as it was a risk of being a Naval officer but it was still not right. But if he was going to be here for Danny, he'd have to keep a level head. "So let us in so we can help you. Take it day-by-day, take it hour by hour and you'll get through this. I know it seems impossible now but you will get through this."

"If the infection or blood pressure don't kill me first," Danny agreed, again in his own inimitable fashion.

Steve smirked as Chin shook his head. They'd take what they could get. "So let's work on lowering that blood pressure of yours. Relax." He picked up the basket from the Selways. Time to change the subject. "Here, take your pick."

As they munched on the treats, Steve and Chin looked around at the gifts that had been delivered. Steve recognized some of the family names, but was stumped by most of the women's names. "Who are all these women? Vikki LaVergne? You holding out on us Danny?"

"Professor Jeffries fan club," Chin said. "That's what Kono meant." He looked at Steve with an amused expression. "They're students of his."

"Flattered and flabbergasted myself," Danny assured them.

It shouldn't surprise him anymore, it really shouldn't. His partner had a dictionary worthy vocabulary, but sometimes when he used an unusual word, it just caught him off guard. Steve shook his head and laughed as Danny blushed. "And you were lecturing Eric about being professional!"

"Oh shut up," Danny laughed. "One of the perks of the assignment." He hadn't done anything inappropriate and Steve and Chin both knew that so it was all an easy laughter. It didn't change the difficulties Danny was facing but it helped release some tension. "Hey Chin, see that bear holding the heart, why don't you bring that to Abby?"

"Seriously brah?" Chin asked, misunderstanding Danny's intentions. "You want to give it to Abby instead of Mellissa?"

"No, I want YOU to give it to Abby. Can't tell me you don't want to," he teased with a wink at Steve to back him up, and hoping to steer clear of the subject of the absent Melissa.

"He's got you there, Chin," Steve said with a smirk, always having his partner's back.

"So, what did you do today other than sleep?" Steve asked as they began tidying up the room.

"Phone call with my parents. Another enjoyable experience," Danny answered, his breathing still too heavy, but slightly improved. "Mom was inconsolable at one point. She wants to know why I've been injured more times in less than 6 years in "paradise" than I was in 13 years in crime infested Newark." He grinned as he noticed Steve's hesitant look. "Don't worry partner, I didn't rat you out as the trouble magnet." He nodded his head in his other friend's direction, grin still on his face. "I told her it was all Chin's fault."

"Nice one," Steve told him as Chin just grinned silently. "She believe you?"

"About Chin, of course." They all knew he hadn't actually said that about Chin, though.

"Thanks a lot, brah," Chin told him with a laugh.

"I have definitely had my share of close calls here," Danny said.

"More than your share," Steve corrected.

Danny knew his partner. "Don't start the guilt trip again, Steven. I don't have the energy to explain it all to you again."

"So tell me," Chin spoke softly, but with a smile, steering the conversation away from Steve's feelings of guilt. "What trouble did you get yourself into back in Newark without us trouble magnets around? I know you said you were tasered once."

Danny started to laugh but thought better of it, knowing the pain it would induce. He was learning. . "Yeah. It was Halloween and I was still a uniform then. Had reports of a woman screaming in a dark alley. Dark alleys there are as copious as abandoned warehouses around here, although we have a multitude of them, too. When we got there it was quiet and appeared empty. My partner, Reggie, went one way and I went the other to check it out. There was very little light, lots of shadows but I didn't see a woman or anything untoward."

" Untoward?" Steve asked, bemused.

"Yes. Untoward as in unexpected or inappropriate." Danny explained the word, wondering why Steve found it so odd. "Next thing I know there are four people coming out of the shadows dressed like cats. I ever tell you I hate cats? Well, I hate cats - sneaky, vile, unsociable little creatures, but there they were, dressed like cats. Why would anyone do that? Dress like a cat? Even on Halloween. Why not dogs? Dogs are friendly sociable animals. Great pets. So, I announce myself and state my business, that being proper police procedure," he says strongly as he looks at Steve. "Next thing I know I'm waking up with a killer headache, lying face down in that same dark alley. Must have been a fifth cat with a taser. Sneaky creatures."

Steve and Chin laughed. "You got tasered by a cat?" Chin teased.

"They're sneaky creatures, I tell you." Danny replied, amusedly defending himself, while reaching with his left hand to rub the back of his neck. "That thing hurt like a mother." Just like his back did now, but the taser pain went away.

"Yeah, they do," Steve agreed. "So, anything else? We know about 9/11." The story Danny had originally shared with Steve had been retold and finished to Chin and Kono over drinks. Well beyond the broken ribs and arm and the multitude of stitches, it was a tragic, horrifying story that he didn't want Danny to have to retell now.

Danny wouldn't even allow his mind to go to that horrible date in his personal history as well as his country's history. "Just my hand." Holding his left arm out he showed them the scar on the back of that hand. They had seen it before but never asked. "Got a call to break up a bar fight. You know the kind," he said to Chin as he paused to catch his breath.

"Always hated those," Chin agreed. "Never know what can happen when you combine alcohol and anger."

"Yeah, well this psycho decided he wanted to get out of there the quick way. He was built like a linebacker. Pushed me right through a plate glass window. A big chunk of glass sliced open my hand," he said as if it were nothing.

"He get away?" Steve asked.

"Oh shut up. No, he didn't get away. Exchanged a few blows. Got a black eye for my trouble, too," he finished with a smile. It was actually kind of fun, but he'd never admit that to his Neanderthal partner.

Steve smiled with pride. His partner was tough - hand sliced open and still wins a fistfight with a bad guy, and a big bad guy at that, but he wasn't going to say that. "Ah, so, you booked 'im, Danno."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N I do not own the rights to any of the characters.

A/N Kudos to Long Live BRUCAS who gets credit for correctly identifying the tip of the hat to James Caan with my Godfather reference. Scott's dad made the phrase 'bada bing' famous as Sonny in that movie. LLB also identified Steve's comment about Danny looking ready to go surfing as being a tip of the hat to Scott. While that is true (Scott is an avid surfer who even volunteers his surfing skills to five different surfing charities who take autistic kids and others out on surfboards) that wasn't the reference I was thinking of (because I forgot I put that in there), but good catch LLB. I'll give you credit for that.

Kudos to bswindle20 for catching the other one! The reference I intentionally added was getting his hand sliced open from going through a plate glass window in a fight. That happened to Scott during the filming of American Outlaws when he pushed Colin Farrell's character through a window in a fight scene. (Scott did his own stunts in that movie, including jumping onto a running horse. That was cool!) At first they thought they might have to stop filming because of his hand but he carried on. That's our tough guy! Another note from that movie, the director said that Scott "did the best work on the film." Yay Scott!

To storyfan101 yes, the big guy was really big. I took that from Scott's movie Boiler Room where he actually lifted a much larger stunt double onto his shoulder, carried him out a door and threw him to the ground (before fake beating the daylights out of him).

Enough fan club talk – on with the show…

H50 H50 H50

A hospital aid entering with a wheelchair put an end to the trip down memory lane. With the help of his friends, Danny donned the hospital gown and was moved to the wheelchair. He felt warm to Steve and he knew it must be from the infection that was causing the doctor's concern.

In the physical therapy department, Danny had to move again and was positioned on his stomach on a table. The therapist opened the gown, and began to carefully attach electrodes to the area surrounding the patched up wound. The area surrounding the stitches was badly bruised from the trauma and red and tender from the infection so each touch elicited a reaction from Danny ranging from a twitch to a flinch to a grunt. Surprisingly to Steve and Chin there was no rant.

The therapist explained that the electro-stimulation they would be doing was found to have some help in alleviating nerve pain. That sounded like a good wish for Danny. In a testament to his beleaguered condition though, he barely said a word.

Steve and Chin watched, observing their friend and trying to kindle conversation, but nothing seemed to work, except, of course, the mention of Grace and Charlie. Even then, his responses were meager and subdued. The pain and growing infection were wearing him down.

When the electrotherapy was done, the electrodes were removed and Danny was carefully helped to turn onto his back so the exercising and massaging could begin. Lying flat on his back was painful from the pressure exerted on the wound and from the burn-like feel of the nerves, but the position was necessary for the work they were to do.

So Steve and Chin watched carefully as the therapist rotated and manipulated his arm, learning what needed to be done. They watched as Danny endured an hour of having everything from his fingers to his shoulder stretched and turned and manipulated. Although Danny had no feeling in his hand or arm, his back and shoulder were still sources of excruciating pain, which every move provoked. They watched as he turned even more pale and quiet, surprised that it was even possible. They listened as the therapist asked if he wanted to stop and as Danny replied (with the only sound he had uttered in the past hour that wasn't a grunt) that there was no way he was going to quit. They admired his determination, even as they wondered if maybe he was making the wrong choice.

By the time they returned to the room and helped him with his nightly routine in the bathroom, it was a very shaky, quiet and exhausted friend they helped into bed.

"Thanks guys," Danny said as he shifted once again in a futile attempt to get comfortable.

"We told you, we're going to help you through this," Chin replied. "Ohana, remember? We'll watch again tomorrow so we know what to do when you go home."

"Home." It sounded sad the way Danny said it. That's the way he felt. He really was feeling like Hawaii was home now, for the most part anyway, but he had no clue how he was going to function in his own house with only one hand. At least there would be no leaves to rake or snow to shovel. That had to count for something when you only had one working arm.

Steve watched his partner in empathy, wishing there was some way to take the pain away - all of the different kinds of pain he was experiencing. He looked more than ready for sleep. He picked up Danny's laptop bag that he had set down earlier, showing it to Danny. "Hey buddy, when you're feeling up to it I'd like for you to check all the paperwork on these arrests. I want the charges to stick, especially for the guy who put you in here."

Danny looked at him through hazy yet comprehending eyes. He wasn't out of Five-O, wasn't being kicked to the curb, at least not yet. "Yeah sure," he said tiredly. "Leave it where I can reach it. That my laptop?" At Steve's nod he went on. "Good, maybe I can skype with Charlie tomorrow," he added with a fatigued grin.

"I'm sure he'll love that," Chin said. "Can't wait to meet him on Thanksgiving."

"Just hope I can make it." The way Danny was feeling right now, he had his doubts. He hit the pain pump that he normally tried to avoid, not wanting to get dependent on the pain meds.

"You'll make it," Steve assured him. "One way or another we'll make it work."

Danny's eyes were drifting shut, but he fought it for the moment. "Thanks guys. Taking your time to help with the PT, that's above and beyond. Really, thanks."

"Above and beyond?" Steve asked, a little peevish. "Would your parents do it? Would your sisters?" He caught himself before he could mention Matt, not wanting to bring up that memory. "We're ohana. When will you get that through your head?"

"You don't have to yell, Steven," Danny grumbled groggily, eyes now fully closed.

"Sorry. Sleep well Danno," Steve said as he squeezed Danny's good shoulder before he and Chin left for the night.

It was a fitful sleep filled with some good dreams and even more terrible nightmares. After a few hours Danny awoke from a particularly clear and vivid nightmare, this time seeing Matt standing in front of him, his body parts all sewn back on with ugly black stitches like a grotesque rag doll. Matt said nothing, just stood there, pointing his finger at Danny as Danny's attacker stood behind him with a knife raised to Matty's back.

Danny shivered and he gingerly reached down to the foot of the bed and pulled the covers up, wondering why the room was so hot during the day and now so cold at night.

Head pounding in time with his heart, and unable to sleep after the nightmare, Danny took his laptop and went to work reviewing the papers they would need to put the whack-job and his gang away. He made some revisions and added his own personal statement to the collection. More than two hours later he was finished. Putting the laptop back on the nightstand, he pulled the blanket up over his chilly shoulders, hunkered down and tried to sleep.

When Steve arrived in the morning before work he was tired. After leaving the hospital the night before he had a late dinner with Lynn before heading to bed. He found he couldn't sleep as his mind kept returning to the nerve pain attack his partner had suffered, along with what appeared to be a weakening condition due to the infection. He would stop by before work and hoped that the antibiotics would be helping and his condition would be improving. There was no such luck.

Upon entering the room in the morning Steve found a pale, sweaty, shivering Danny huddled under the blanket, lying partially on his side with a pillow behind his lower back to prop him up and keep pressure off his wound. Seeing Danny cold was new to Steve. Even on the coolest of nights when islanders were complaining of cold, the Jersey boy was perfectly content. Not finding a second blanket in the closet Steve went out to the nurse's station to find one. Upon returning he covered his friend and gently tucked the blanket around him, mindful of his wounds.

Having planned to spend some time with him before he headed to the Palace, Steve settled into a chair by the bed, and watched his ailing partner. Danny looked much worse than he did yesterday, the infection seriously taking its toll. The dark circles under his eyes and the pain lines that creased his forehead even in sleep offset his too pale skin. His breathing was labored even in sleep and he was also now sporting an automatic blood pressure cuff. He sighed. Danny should be improving now that he was in the hospital, not getting worse.

"That's creepy."

Steve jumped when he heard the voice. He looked at his partner whose eyes were still closed. Before he had a chance to reply, Danny spoke again.

"Staring at me like I'm some museum exhibit. It's just plain creepy, you Neanderthal. A normal person would say good morning." His voice was quiet and rough, his words slurred, his breathing too fast and he had yet to open his eyes.

"How did you even know I was here?"

"How did I know? You stomp in here huffing like some animal and you wonder how I knew you were here?"

"I didn't stomp or huff," Steve said defensively.

"G'morning Steven." Danny said with a sarcastic tone, finally opening his glazed, red-rimmed eyes.

"Good morning Daniel," Steve returned with a matching tone. "But I did not stomp or huff."

"Maybe you didn't stomp. Maybe. But you most definitely did huff my friend." Steve was glad Danny was joking but the slurred, mumbled words caused him concern.

"That wasn't a huff, that was a sigh."

"What are you sighing about? You okay?" His eyes were wide open now, though still glazed with pain and fever.

"Of course I'm okay." Would Danny ever stop worrying about him? Steve found himself hoping not. It was amazing to have a friend who cared so much.

Danny took in Steve's countenance. He looked tired and worn. "Well, you look like crap."

"This from the man in the hospital bed with more stitches than Frankenstein."

"I look that bad, huh?"

"You're a sight for sore eyes, partner" Steve told him, turning more serious. He was still just so utterly thankful that his partner was still alive. "How you feeling?"

"Like a piece of donkey dung that was chewed up and spit out by a camel and then trampled on by a pack of wild elephants."

Creative imagery – a Danny Williams hallmark. Steve laughed. "That good, huh? I'm just glad you're alive."

"Don't get all maudlin on me. Aren't you supposed to be lifting my spirits?" Danny pointed tiredly to his laptop as he changed the direction of the conversation, his eyes drooping again. "I reviewed the paperwork and added my personal statement of the knife attack. You did a great job interviewing me and taking my statement, by the way. Must have been taught by the best," Danny said with a grin, but his voice barely above a whisper.

Steve smirked and shook his head. "When did you have a chance to do this? You just woke up." And he was sound asleep when Steve left last night. "Didn't sleep well I take it."

"Sleep? How am I supposed to sleep? It's freezing like the arctic in here and every five minutes some nurse comes in and takes my temperature or my blood pressure, checks the wound or who knows what else, then leaves the door open when she leaves." Still on his side, Danny lifted his throbbing head to speak.

"Every five minutes, huh?" And since when did Danny complain about the cold? That's one thing he was sure he never heard Danny complain about before.

"Well, maybe ten, but seriously, how do they expect anyone to heal when they keep them awake all night?" He settled his head back into the pillow and his eyes drifted shut.

"You still tired?"

Danny grunted and then changed the subject. "This is kind of weird, but I dreamed about you." His voice was gravelly and lacked volume.

"Should I be worried?" Steve joked.

Danny gave a half grin and went on, his voice low, shaky and weak. "We were at the beach, but not now. I mean, we weren't adults. We were teenagers I guess. Billy was there, too. You knew each other. We were all friends. Best friends. Not any two better friends than any other two." He stopped talking, partly because there just wasn't anything else to the dream that he could summon up but partly because he was worn out from talking already. He closed his eyes for a moment, shifted and groaned - just never able to get comfortable.

"Sounds like a good dream." Steve got the message. He was just as important to Danny as Billy had been. There was no reason to be jealous of their long ago fateful friendship; just thankful for the one he had been granted now.

"Yeah." His eyes were still closed, near sleep, but not quite.

"I would have liked that."

"Yeah, me too." He was quiet for a moment and Steve thought he was asleep but then he spoke again, shivering. "It's cold in here."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N I do not own the rights to any of the characters.

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Less than an hour later, Steve pushed through the double glass doors of the office. Danny had fallen asleep again shortly after telling Steve about his dream. His partner had battled valiantly to stay awake, but his condition just didn't permit it. It felt strange to Steve to be entering alone, so used he was to having Danny by his side.

"Morning boss!" Kono said with an element of cheer in her voice. Danny had looked pretty good last night, all things considered, so her spirits were up. "How's our garrulous Jersey boy?"

"Garrulous. You channeling your inner Danny?" Lou asked.

"Danny would say that's much safer than her channeling her inner Steve," Chin responded with a chuckle.

"Steve," Abby prompted. "You okay?" While the team had enjoyed a bit of banter, the observer had noticed Steve's solemn visage. Her words made all eyes turn to the team leader and best friend of the man on all of their minds.

Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He was a warrior hardened in battle who had seen comrades fall. As a commanding officer he had even written a letter of condolence to the family of a man who had died under his command. He had been trained to push feelings away, to compartmentalize his life so nothing got in the way of the mission. Somehow, all of that failed him when it came to Danny. He waved off the question about himself. Instead he went to the heart of the matter, to Kono's question.

"He's not good," Steve said, trying to remain stoic. "They don't have a handle on the infection yet. He's exhausted but can't sleep well. He has a fever and chills. The area around the wound in back is tender, red, inflamed and discharging puss. And that's apart from the pain from the wound and the surgery. Using that incentive spirometer every hour is a chore. When they get lab results back on the exact infection that will hopefully help them find the right antibiotic. It's wait and see. He had a few more of the bouts of nerve pain last night, too."

"Nerve pain?" Lou asked.

Chin took over explaining the episode he and Steve had witnessed the night before just after Kono had ushered Grace out the door. "Good thing you left when you did," he told Kono as he finished. "Not a sight any of us would have wanted her to see."

"Can't they do anything about it?" Kono asked, trying to keep her voice composed.

"They're doing a few things, but mainly, that's a wait and see as well," Chin answered. "They expect that it will improve as the nerves heal."

"How are his spirits?" Abby asked. She had not had much contact with the man because he went undercover the day after they met and contact since then had been sporadic. Although he had been polite and professional with her, he had been outspoken with his team while taking their jokes in stride. She could see what he meant to this team, especially the team leader. He was the very heart of it.

"Hard to tell," Steve answered honestly. "He was just so tired. Didn't say much." He smiled fondly then as he remembered more. "He was sarcastic, ranted about not being allowed to sleep, gave a very creative description about how he felt, and was worried about me."

Each team member smiled as well. "A day in the life of Danny Williams," Chin said.

"What about his arm? Any movement?" Lou asked the question on all of their minds.

Steve sighed again. "No." He wouldn't dwell on it though. He couldn't get through the day if he did. "But he managed to review and fix the paperwork. And I have his personal statement in there as well."

"You took his statement in the shape he's in?" Kono asked, ready to rip her boss a new one for that offense.

"Don't worry Kono. He actually wrote it himself sometime last night when he couldn't sleep – because the nurses woke him up every five minutes and the room was cold," Steve replied with a smirk.

Kono grinned back. Sounded like Danny, except for the being cold part. Jersey boy was never cold. "Okay, we have work to do people," she said. "When Danny gets released from the hospital we need to have a plan."

"A plan?" Lou asked.

"Yeah, a plan. He's going to need help. After an injury that severe and the surgery he's going to need some help. Throw in the other issues and he has his work cut out for him for a good long while. He's going to need help. I've been there, I know. And since he doesn't have much family here, he's going to need his ohana."

Chin took over. "When Kono blew her knee out, she was living with her parents. She had lots of family around to help."

"The cousins here are related to half the island," Lou explained to Abby. He then turned to Steve. "His parents coming? Any of his family?"

Steve shook his head. "Sadly no. Financial issues. Health issues. I told them not to worry, that I could handle it."

"WE can handle it, brother, Lou reminded him before speaking again to Kono. "Okay, so what do we do?"

"First we make a list of his needs. Then we find solutions." She chewed on her lower lip a moment. "With Eric staying with him, he should be okay at his own house, don't you think?"

"Not sure about that," Steve said. "Eric just found an apartment he likes that's affordable. If he moves out, Danny's alone."

They all frowned at that news. For as much as Eric was driving Danny crazy sleeping on his couch for going on seven months, this was not the time to move out. The timing stunk, but how could they expect Eric to pass up this opportunity? Chin, as usual, was the voice of reason. "When would he be moving in? Sometimes, a landlord knows months in advance that a tenant is moving out and signs a new lease well ahead of time."

"Danny didn't say," Steve answered. "Let me call Eric and ask him about it." He stepped away from the table and placed the call. He looked more relieved when he came back. "New lease doesn't start for a couple months. The length of recovery from knife wounds and surgery would be a couple months if everything went perfectly. With the complications he has already, it will be much longer. Then there's the matter of getting use of his arm back. But, it gives us some time to work things out."

"Okay, that's good, but still, we can't rely on Eric too much. He rose to the occasion yesterday but he's still young and rather immature. Having Danny as a role model has helped, but he can't shoulder this responsibility," Chin rationalized.

"He won't have to," Steve promised. "I'll give Danny his daily PT at home and I'll get him to all his PT and doctor appointments. Whatever else he needs, I'll do that, too."

"We know you would, Steve, but nobody can do this alone, not even best friend SuperSeal," Kono told him with a compassionate smile as she lovingly used Danny's nickname for him. "So, you'll be in charge of making sure those things all happen." She scribbled notes on the pad in front of her. "We'll make a list of people willing to help with rides, PT…"

"Meals," Lou added. "What?" he said when everybody looked at him grinning. He patted his stomach. "You skinny people all laughing at me for thinking of food? Jersey mentioned that cooking for his kids was one of the things he was worried about. He doesn't want to feed them fast food." Lou laughed then at the irony. "He just eats it when they're not with him."

"Okay, you willing to be in charge of finding volunteers to bring hot, healthy meals?"

"Sure Kono. Mark me down for that."

"Chin, you want to take care of groceries, medicine and the bandages and other supplies he's going to need? I'm sure there are tools he'll need to assist with doing things one-handed."

Chin nodded his quiet consent.

"What about driving? Eventually he's going to need to get around on his own. If he can't use that arm, can he still drive?" Abby asked.

"I don't know of anything in the law that says he can't," Chin answered.

"Well, I'll look into it. And I'll do some research on how to do things like tying shoes with one hand." Abby offered, getting into the spirit of this team. She grinned. "You all seem to really care for him so I want to help out. That's the spirit of ohana, right?"

Chin beamed, loving her even more at that moment than he had before. The team was impressed and each one extended their thanks.

"I'll also look into what modifications might be done to his car to make that drivable without his right hand or if he'll need something different," Chin said.

"He won't be happy if he has to lose the Camaro. He worked hard to afford that. Really takes care of it," Steve sighed. In all honesty, Steve would miss that car, too.

"I don't think it'll come to that," Chin said. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves worrying, just looking ahead. We have to stay positive."

"Okay, so I'll make a list of everybody willing to help so each of you can refer to it when you do your things. Let's get a list of who we think might be willing and I'll contact them and see what they might be willing or able to do. Not everybody can cook a hot meal, for example."

They started a list: Jerry, Max, Kamekona, Flippa, Meka's widow Amy. Lou offered to ask around HPD. Many of the homicide detectives had given Danny a hard time when he first came to Hawaii. He was a haole and a young, highly decorated detective. Many were jealous that he was given a spot in homicide. They had turned their backs on him when he worked to clear Meka's name, but Lou knew that since then Danny had earned the begrudging respect of some and the true respect of many in homicide and throughout HPD. They'd have a covey of volunteers. He was sure of it.

When they finished the list, Steve said he'd speak with Danny, when the time was right, and see if he had any ideas of who else might want to help. Then he brought up another point. "We have to remember that this is going to be hard for Danny. He's very private, despite his very vocal and public rants, and he's proud and independent. He's not going to like asking for help."

"He won't be. We will," Kono said.

"Look Kono, I know you mean well here and I know this comes from your heart and that you're working from your experience, but his situation is different. I don't think he'll mind our help. He won't be happy that he needs it, but he'll accept it. We're ohana. But as we move away from this team, it will get more difficult for him to swallow. I know we can't do it all ourselves and that there are many people willing to lend a hand, I'm just saying that we need to keep Danny's feelings in mind."

"You have a point, Steve. Maybe you could keep your finger on that pulse for us. You know him better than any of us. Help him see that there's no shame in the fact that he can't do this all by himself, too," Lou suggested.

Steve nodded in agreement. That was part of the job as best friend.

"Just thinking, what's the status of custody of Charlie?" Chin asked.

Everyone looked to Steve. If anybody knew, it would be him. "Nothing's been resolved. They tabled that discussion until Charlie's treatments were done. He was covered under Stan's insurance and nobody wanted to risk messing with that."

"Could Rachel use this against him?" Chin worried. "She tried everything with Grace."

"She might try, but I don't think she'll get anywhere," Lou said. "The court gave Danny joint custody of Grace, right? I don't think they'll do anything different with the boy."

"It'll be a different judge and different circumstances," Chin said, hating right now being the voice of reason. "I don't think it will be so cut and dry."

"Nobody's going to take his son away from him," Steve said tersely, ending that line of discussion right there. In his heart, however, Steve feared what might really happen. He wouldn't put it past Rachel to try and use this against Danny. He didn't doubt that Rachel still loved Danny. Problem was, she also loved to hurt him.

The thought was sobering for all of them. For all of Steve's strong words and bravado, the truth was that they just didn't know if this was a battle that Rachel would make Danny fight or not, nor what would happen if she did. It was another in the list of things that they'd have to help their friend face.

"We must keep in mind that this is not just a physical battle he has ahead of him. This injury is threatening to turn his whole world on it's end. I know what it's like to face the loss of your career and it's tough. Really tough, " Kono admitted. "But he's facing much more than that. He's facing the possibility of living the rest of his life with a permanent disability. He may be facing yet another battle over custody issues. If he loses use of that arm, he may face having to give up his house, his independence, so many things." She stopped speaking for a moment, feeling overwhelmed. Danny had a piece of her heart and this was tearing her up.

"We'll be with him every step of the way," Chin promised, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and giving her a hug.

Kono leaned into this embrace and pulled herself together before going on. "Yes, sometimes he will need people around him but sometimes he'll need to be left alone. Sometimes he'll need to do things for himself and sometimes he'll need to be convinced that he needs to accept help. That's where you come in the most, Steve. You know him better than any of us. He trusts you completely. He shares things with you and talks about things with you that he doesn't speak about with us."

Steve opened his mouth, ready to defend this best friend of his. Ready to assure them that they meant as much to Danny as he did, but Kono held him off with an upraised hand and went on.

"We're all ohana and he loves all of us, we know that, but we also know that you hold a special place in his heart. We need you to read his mood, read his needs when he may not know them himself. We all know how petulant he can be, it's part of why he's so lovable," Kono said with a chuckle. "But, he plays the tough guy and yet he's sensitive too. It's all going to be so confusing for him, completely overwhelming at times." She was speaking from experience and they all saw that clearly but she suddenly felt she was talking too much. "He'll need you to do for him what my Mom did for me. Be his anchor." She finished simply.

"I got the small job, huh?" Steve joked because if he didn't laugh right now, he would cry for his best friend and he didn't want to do that. Not here anyway. He was a SEAL after all. He had a reputation to uphold. He'd cry at home.

"Hey brah, if her mother could handle the job, you can too," Chin joked back to help ease the emotions in the room.

A/N Thanks to sue2556 for her idea, in her review, about having Kono arrange all the help Danny would need (even though it meant an entire chapter without Danny in it - sigh). We'll get back to see how our lovable Danno is faring in the next chapter.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N I have a question for the Steve, Chin, Kono and Lou fans out there. Have I kept any of you interested enough to keep reading? It appears that the Danny fans are still reading. What about the rest of you? I just want to gauge how I'm doing in that regard.

A/N I hope everyone had a blessed Christmas day, whether or not you celebrate the holy day. I had the good fortune of receiving a book of Scott Caan plays as a Christmas present. I glanced through and I will try my hardest to wait until I finish this story before I actually begin reading them because once I pick it up I will find it hard to put down.

H50 H50 H50

At lunchtime, Chin took a turn to go and check on their injured friend. Things were busy at the Palace as they were wrapping up the University case and taking on the next one, so they couldn't spend all of their time with him, but they would make sure he was checked on throughout each day. Not just with a phone call but with a real in-person visit.

Nestled under the blankets, Danny was propped up on his left side again, avoiding pressure on the large wound on his back. Chin figured it would have to be getting uncomfortable to stay that way by now but there really wasn't another viable position given his injury. The lights were dim and he couldn't tell if Danny was asleep or just resting. He stepped into the room and moved around the bed to face his friend. "Hey brah," he said softly so as not to awaken him if he was indeed asleep.

Danny lifted his pounding head slightly and managed to open his eyes a fraction as well. "Chin, that you?"

"Yeah brah. How ya feeling? You look like something the cat dragged in."

"I hate cats. I ever tell you I hate cats?"

"I seem to recall that conversation," Chin told him with a grin. "The ones with tasers are the worst if I remember correctly?"

Danny said nothing. He appeared he might be asleep again except that his eyes were open.

"I brought some lunch. Spare you that hospital food." Chin held up the bag from a local soup and sandwich shop that was a team favorite. "Polunu's."

Danny mumbled his thanks, but didn't move. The headache was relentless every waking minute, worse than the pain in his back.

"Why don't we raise the back of the bed so you can eat?" Chin suggested as he reached for the button.

Danny hissed at the pain in his back as he shifted with the changing position, and then closed his eyes as dizziness washed over him.

"You okay?" Chin asked, then indicated the pillow propped behind Danny. "Can I move this pillow for you or something?"

"Yeah, thanks," Danny mumbled as he tugged the blankets up over his shoulders.

With the patient sitting up, Chin now got an even better look and it wasn't pretty. Steve was right; he didn't look good at all. Dark circles under his eyes contrasted starkly with the pale skin, sweaty brow and black sutures that closed his wounds. His head rested back against the pillows as if it was too difficult to hold it up. He had looked much better yesterday. Chin could hear Danny's shallow breathing and knew he had to get Danny to use the incentive spirometer to keep his lungs clear.

"Tell you what," Chin said as he handed the device to Danny. "Use this thing while I get the food out."

"Making me friggin' work for my food," Danny grumbled with a weak voice, but he picked the device up and began to use it, not getting quite as far as he should. He was just too tired and breathing was too painful.

"Come on brah. You gotta do better than that." Chin pushed him knowing the importance of forcing his lungs to expand in order to keep them clear of fluids. The food could wait.

"You're a freaking dictator." By the time Danny had fulfilled the prescribed breathing regimen, he was hurting and tired, dropping the device onto the bed and flopping his head back into the pillows with a groan.

"Good on ya, brah." Chin moved the device to the side table, pulled the other table over the bed and spread their lunch out on it. "I got you some chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese sandwich." Chin had recalled that Danny had requested that combination when he was in here after being stabbed by Melissa's ex.

Danny smiled weakly. "Thanks."

"I remember you said that's a childhood favorite of yours when you were sick."

"Yeah."

There was no childhood story. No comment about kissing Chin for getting him his favorite. Not a bit of the usual animated Danny. All he was managing was the bare bones of politeness. Normally taciturn, Chin was becoming uncomfortable doing all the talking. That was supposed to be Danny's job.

Danny had no appetite but he hadn't been able to even get a bite of breakfast down and he didn't want to offend Chin so he was intent on eating. He reached to the soup and tugged at the lid with his left hand but without his other hand to anchor the cup all he managed to do was to slide it across the tabletop. Just another everyday thing that he couldn't do, might never be able to do. Next thing he knew, Chin had reached over and wordlessly opened it for him. Nodding his head in begrudging thanks, Danny picked up the spoon and tried to eat.

With a feverish shaky hand and back muscles so abused and sore that he couldn't lean forward for long, eating soup was not an easy task, and he was spilling more on his hospital gown than he was getting in his mouth.

"Do you …?"

Danny did not let Chin finish. "No, I do not need you to feed me! I can take care of myself. I don't need your help or anyone's help for that matter. I'm a grown man. I don't need to be fed and coddled. So just leave me alone." Shaking with anger, he dropped the spoon onto the table as he pressed his head back into the pillows, squeezing his temples with his left hand. The tirade hadn't helped his headache any.

Chin had been there with Kono as she recovered from her knee injury years ago. He had seen this kind of thing before. Denial and anger were just two of the stages of grief and Danny was sure to experience all of them many times over the next uncertain future. So, being a seasoned veteran of this sort of thing, he took it in stride, knowing the anger was not directed towards him. Without a word, he placed the sandwich in front of Danny. It was wrapped in foil so Danny could open it without assistance. He then went back to quietly eating his own soup and sandwich.

"This is good, huh?" Chin asked after Danny had managed to calm himself down, open the sandwich and take a bite. "This was your comfort food when you were a kid?"

"Yeah," Danny replied, appreciative that Chin had let his frustrated, misdirected outburst go without comment. He managed another small bite.

"Your mom could make it?" he asked with a smirk. Danny's stories of his mother's lack of cooking skills were legendary. He obviously loved the woman dearly but he could bring tears to their eyes with his stories.

"A little tough to ruin a can of chicken noodle soup. Sandwich was usually a bit well-done. Made with love, Mom always said," he mumbled before forcing another small bite. "This one's amazing. Thanks Chin."

"Brought to you with love, brah," Chin declared.

Danny held up the sandwich in a toast and then laid it down on the wrapper unable to eat anymore. His eyes closing despite his efforts to stay awake, he drifted off to sleep.

Not wanting Danny to have to sleep in a gown soaked with chicken broth, Chin pressed the call button for the nurse and then cleaned up the remains of their lunch. In Danny's case the remains were only slightly less than the original lunch.

When the nurse arrived with a clean gown, Chin proceeded to help her in changing it and then lowering the bed and propping Danny up again on his uninjured side. Danny slept through the entire thing, not a sound or a movement out of him, Chin noted with dismay.

Later when Chin next saw Steve, after interviewing a witness, he told him about the visit, how Danny barely moved, barely spoke, barely ate and then how he slept through the changing of the gown and the repositioning. Their friend's deteriorating condition was disturbing to both men and Steve vowed to get back over there as soon as the current case would allow.

Almost as an afterthought, Chin mentioned to Steve that he had run into Melissa in the lobby as he was leaving and she was going in. Terribly concerned about Danny's health Steve was relieved to hear that Melissa had been there. It had concerned him yesterday when she didn't come. Apparently, Danny's overactive imagination was rubbing off on him. He sighed and ran his hand over his face. It was good to know there was nothing to be concerned about in that regard. Danny had enough to worry about.

Back at the hospital, Melissa stepped off the elevator and headed to the room Danny was in. Outside the door she steeled herself and then entered; even still, she was utterly shocked by what she saw. Lying on his side, his back was to the door. The blankets had slipped off his shoulders and with the hospital gown tied in the back she could see part of the large white bandage through the gap, a spot of blood apparent. The area around it was red, inflamed and bruised but otherwise his skin was pale, even grayish. An IV in the back of his left hand had several bags dripping into it. A blood pressure cuff automatically inflated at set intervals.

Melissa put her hand to her mouth to stifle a reaction. Danny was a strong, well built man who worked hard to keep in shape, despite his hatred of running for exercise. He was always vibrant and full of life, his blue eyes sparkling with every sarcastic quip that leapt from his lips. He may be short in height but he made up for it in pure muscle. His broad shoulders, well-developed chest and muscular arms excited her, but an increasing number of scars marred his otherwise perfect physique.

Hesitantly, she moved around the bed and brushed his hair back from his face. It was slightly damp from sweat. Flushed cheeks contrasted sharply with his pale skin. He moaned softly at her touch. "Hey Jersey," she said quietly, pulling her hand back from his too warm skin.

"M'lissa?" he mumbled weakly.

"Yeah, how ya feeling?"

"T'rible," he mumbled in reply. He had yet to open his eyes.

"You don't look so good."

"Th'nks for enc'ragement."

She smiled a bit at that. "You need anything?"

"Jus' you," he replied as he shifted his left hand towards her, desiring the feel of her touch.

Melissa hesitated, hating herself for it. He was in bad shape and needed support, not her fears and aversions.

"You still there?" Danny cracked one eye open and caught sight of her. "Hey, what's the matter?"

"You. Look at you." A tear slipped down her cheek.

"Not so bad." He felt like crap but he felt the need to reassure her.

"Not so bad?" She sobbed. "Can you move your arm?"

"Not yet." He shifted a little to reach his good arm out to her, groaning at the pain it caused. "Hey, c'mere."

Melissa remained where she was. Danny reached for the button and raised the bed, shifting uncomfortably to be upright. He closed his eyes a moment as the room spun. Then he patted the bed next to him. "C'mere."

Slowly she moved to him and sat down, allowing him to pull her into a one armed hug as she sobbed. They stayed like that until Danny began to shake and he had to ease back into the pillows, sweat forming on his brow even as he shivered. His breath came in short bursts and he coughed slightly. "You okay?" he asked, his eyes slipping closed again.

"Yeah, thanks," she replied softly, wiping her eyes.

"Good." He held her hand as he drifted back to sleep.

Releasing his hand, Melissa moved off the bed and into a chair. She stayed there for a couple hours, doing work on her laptop as he laid mumbling in his slumber. He didn't rouse when the nurses came in routinely to check on him. He didn't rouse when the doctor came in and tried to speak to him. He didn't rouse when she kissed him on the head and said goodbye.

tbc


	15. Chapter 15

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N To the guest reviewer (and anybody else) worried that I might stop writing and updating: the only way that would happen is if something catastrophic happened to me. I have the same pet peeve. When I first posted this story it was 5 chapters and finished. It was 4 nice chapters and a very rushed wrap up. I posted because I wanted to get the first chapter up before the actual Charades ep aired. But then the reviews came and they were so kind and humbling and I felt the readers deserved a better finish than the quickie I had written. So, I wrote more and more reviews came and now this story has taken on a life of it's own. So, again, I will not stop writing this story unless something crazy happens that forces me to stop. I have put my Christmas present (the book of plays written by Scott Caan) away and won't read it until this is finished. That should be proof enough of my good intentions.

H50 H50 H50

After arresting their suspects without any gunplay – Danny would be so proud – the team brought them back to the Palace for interrogation and placed them in separate rooms. They left them alone in the rooms handcuffed to the chairs for a while before they would go in and question them. Steve thought it would help soften them up to answer the questions more readily.

After they let them sit for what Steve determined was long enough, they headed for the elevator that would take them down to the two rooms. As they walked Steve's phone rang. "McGarrett."

He stopped in his tracks as he took the call, puzzling the team. They stopped at the doors of the elevator and listened from their end. "Yes. (pause) Yes. (pause) Why? Is something wrong?" The alarmed tone to Steve's voice and what Danny would call his aneurism face made the whole team take notice. "What are you doing about it? He's supposed to be on stronger antibiotics now."

Sure now that the call was about Danny, since Steve was his emergency contact, concerned looks were exchanged amongst the team; Kono bouncing on her heals with anxiety.

Steve was in full-blown SEAL mode now. "I want to speak to somebody who can give me some answers and will do their job! (pause)" Chin went to him and put his hand on Steve's arm to calm him. 'Then why aren't they working? (pause) Try something new? He's not a guinea pig doctor."

Lou approached and spoke to him now. "Easy, Steve. This isn't helping him."

Steve listened a while longer. "Okay, thank you, doctor. Keep me updated, please." The dazed look on his face as he hung up the phone scared them all. "They're cancelling his PT session for tonight. His fever is 103.4 and rising, his blood pressure is very high and there's some fluid in his lungs. That's a lot of stress on his system on top of his injury and surgery. The antibiotic for the infection is not working so they're changing that and adding another one to help ward off full blown pneumonia since he can't use the incentive spirometer enough to help."

He ran his hands over his face as he tried to collect himself. This was Danny they were talking about, his best friend, the man who somehow changed his life with his own special manic kind of madhouse loyal friendship. But here was the really tough part. "He's unresponsive. They're moving him to ICU."

Normally stoic, Chin took a deep breath to stifle a threatening sob, turned and stepped away for a moment to collect himself. Danny was a good man who had been there for him so many times in the years since they met. Irascible and sarcastic, he was concurrently the most loyal friend a man could ever hope for – and now he was fighting for his life for the second time in two days.

"Damn!" Lou responded as he silently vowed to be there for Danny as Danny had been for him.

Steve looked at the elevator, looked at his team and then did something totally out of character. He bagged on his team. "I have to go to him." He turned and headed back the way they came but then stopped and turned around, regaining some control. "You guys okay with handling the questioning without me?"

"We'll be fine, Steve," Chin said as he recovered enough to move to him and give him a man hug complete with a couple slaps on the back. He wanted to go to Danny, too but he knew they would only allow one into ICU and that had to be Steve. Chin could do more for Danny and for Steve by handling the work so Steve was free to be with Danny.

"Go take care of our boy." Lou gave Steve the same hug with the same thoughts as Chin running through his head. And wasn't it just yesterday that Danny was eating Renee's Chicken Parmesan? How could everything go downhill so fast?

"Send him our love," Kono finished for them with a warm hug, tears in her eyes and similar thoughts of her own.

Steve took a deep breath, let it out slowly, nodded his head and left to be with his brother of the heart.

As Steve walked away Abby spoke up, hoping she wasn't overstepping her bounds. "They're really close, aren't they? I mean, I know Danny's a great guy and that you're all concerned but Steve looks like he's going to fall apart if he gets any more bad news – and I don't think he's the falling apart type. "

"You're very observant," Lou answered for the team. "I'm rather new to this team myself and how close those two are, given how diametrically opposed their personalities are, still amazes me."

"Diametrically opposed?" Kono laughed, despite the seriousness of the situation, "who's channeling Danny now?" She stopped then and realized what she was doing. "And why am I laughing?" she added with a sniff.

"Well, maybe you're picturing him walking out of here shouting 'love you' to Steve," Chin said, trying to lift her mood. The laughter was understandable in a way. Sometimes it was the only way to deal with tension.

"He does that?" Abby laughed incredulously.

"Been known to happen," Lou replied with a laugh and a shake of his head. "Like after one of their fights."

Kono laughed and sniffed again. "He's going to be okay, right Chin? He has to be."

Chin put a reassuring arm around her. "I hope so, cous. I hope so."

As Steve sped through the streets of Honolulu, pushing the limits of both speed and sanity, he could hear Danny in his head. "Slow down you crazy animal. I have kids!"

"Those kids need you," Steve said out loud to the empty seat beside him. He pounded on the steering wheel, reminiscent of his partner's behavior. "Damn it Danny, we need you. Fight buddy. Don't stop fighting."

The thought of Danny's kids brought another realization to him. He was supposed to pick Grace up from school today and bring her to see her dad. Swallowing the lump in his throat he made one of the toughest calls he had ever had to make. "Rachel? It's Steve."

"Oh, hi Steven," Rachel said through the line. "Grace is expecting you after school but she has cheerleading practice so she won't be done until 4."

"Yes, yeah, I know Rachel, but I'm going to have to change the plan. I know it's Danny's day, but can you pick her up and bring her home?"

"Well, yes, of course," Rachel agreed. "Is everything okay?"

"No it's not." He paused, barely able to say the words. "Rachel, Danny's in ICU."

A sharp gasp was all Steve heard for a moment before she finally spoke again. "But Grace said he looked pretty good last night, smiling and laughing, winning that game. What happened?"

"They can't get a good grip on the infection." Steve proceeded to tell Rachel everything he knew about Danny's condition. She would need to know in order to help the kids through this. "If you have Grace call me when you pick her up I'll explain everything to her the best I can."

"That's thoughtful of you, Steven, but I'll tell her myself." She paused a moment and then spoke harshly. "I always knew this would happen."

Steve had a few ideas of what she meant and he tried to ward them all off. "He's not going to die, Rachel. And this wasn't his fault."

"You don't know that and if he had a safer job this wouldn't happen. Violence follows him."

"I'm not going to do this, Rachel." Steve understood what Danny had to go through with this woman. "I'll be in ICU so tell Grace that if I don't answer her call, I'll call her back as soon as I can." He didn't wait for a reply. He didn't need Rachel's anger and negative attitude hanging over him like a shroud.

Steve had shaken his head clear of Rachel by the time he parked in the hospital lot and made his way to ICU.

Steve looked through the glass wall of the ICU room as a nurse went through her routine. It was disappointing to see no personal touches to the room, save for one photo of Grace and Charlie. As they weren't allowed in ICU, all of the flowers, food and gifts that had been delivered to his regular room would need to be brought home or sent elsewhere. Jerry had kindly offered to take care of that task.

Saying that Danny looked awful, would be a huge understatement. Worse than this morning and worse than Chin's description of how he looked at lunchtime. Steve noted with a groan that there was now an oxygen mask to aid his breathing, pulse ox meter on his finger, heart monitors on his chest and that the dreaded catheter was back, which meant that Danny was not waking even to take care of his basic needs. Damn!

If he could get his hands on the guy who plunged that knife into his partner's back, he would find so many creative ways to kill him and bring him back to life just to kill him again, over and over and over again. Steve balled his hands into tight fists. Damn!

Steve went to the door as the nurse was leaving. He explained to her that Danny was claustrophobic and that if he woke up with that mask over his face it would likely make him panic, which couldn't be good in his current condition. She promised to speak to the doctor.

Steve settled into the chair that was close to the bed. "Hey Danny. How's it going partner?" Given what the doctor had said he was not surprised to receive no reply - disappointed, but not surprised. He knew that patients who were unresponsive for some reason and seemed completely out of it could usually still hear what was going on around them. So, he kept on talking, giving all the details of their current case, the clues they found, how they solved it and how they went after the suspects.

The nurse came back in and said that the doctor agreed that Steve had a valid concern, so they switched to the nasal cannula with the proviso that if his oxygen levels fell too low they would need to return to the mask.

When she left, Steve began speaking again. He sat there and spoke all afternoon and evening, repeating things when he ran out of things to say. Asking questions hoping for a response, but nothing came.

At regular intervals he was asked to leave the room when the nurse would come and check his vitals, measure the urine output and change the bag when needed. She'd change the IV bags when they were empty also. A few times the doctor came. He would check his vitals, listen to his heart and lungs, feel Danny's fingers, and check the wounds. Danny's temperature had risen even more. His blood pressure still too high, straining his heart.

After the team had finished the interrogations and the necessary paperwork to have the bad guys processed the team came to the hospital. Abby offered to stay with Danny while the others took Steve for a late dinner. Steve didn't want to offend Abby by saying no so he reluctantly agreed to the plan.

Abby moved near the bed and picked up the one personal thing they allowed in the room – a framed photograph of two children. The girl looked to be about 14 or 15. She had brown hair and eyes and was simply beautiful. The adorable blond haired, brown-eyed boy seemed to be about four. "Hey Danny. I'm Abby if you don't recognize my voice." She didn't want to just stand there silently in his room watching him. That was a bit creepy.

"I guess these are your kids. Grace and Charlie I think Chin said, right?" She didn't expect him to answer and he didn't. "They're gorgeous and they look so happy. Their eyes sparkle like I saw yours do when you were joking with the team about this assignment. I guess you were right about it being dangerous. I admire your courage. You didn't back away from that. Your children will respect that when they're old enough to understand."

For the next half hour or so Abby sat with Danny and read through some reports on her laptop. Occasionally she would speak to him, trying to dispel the silence, but not really knowing him she didn't have much else to say.

After he managed to eat some dinner and Chin, Kono and Lou each had a few minutes with Danny, Steve returned to his partner's side as the others went home. They tried to get him to go home and get some sleep, assuring him that Danny was being well taken care of, but he just couldn't get himself to do that. There was a reclining chair that he would be comfortable in. He'd be fine, but most importantly, he couldn't leave Danny alone here. After Steve's harrowing experiences in Korea and with WoFat, Danny had been there for him – physically and emotionally. When things with Doris were bad, Danny was there. When Cat left, Danny had been there. He even flew to Afghanistan to save his butt from the terrorists.

Steve thought of the old expression "he kept turning up like a bad penny" and he laughed. If Danny were awake he'd find a way to tease him about that. But actually that wasn't the case at all. Danny's presence was appreciated – appreciated beyond belief. "Never had a friend like you, Danno. Don't know how I'll …" Steve stopped. That was not only something he didn't want to verbalize in front of Danny, it wasn't something he even wanted to allow himself to think. Danny was going to make it through this. Maybe he'd never use that arm again, but damnit, he was going to beat this infection and someday be the best man at Steve's wedding.

Wow! Where had that come from, Steve wondered. He had been dating Lynn for a few months now and everything was going smoothly but he certainly wasn't contemplating marriage. There was just something about Danny that made him think of settling down and having kids of his own. Danny would be the most amazing uncle. Someday, Steve thought.

He couldn't use his phone to make a phone call here in ICU, but they did allow text messaging so he pulled his phone out and sent a message to Lynn telling her he wouldn't be calling tonight because he was staying with Danny in the hospital. She replied immediately, causing him to smile. She assured him that while she would miss talking to him, she understood. Then she asked about Danny. With shaky hands, Steve opened his heart to Lynn in text message after text message, telling her that Danny was not just his partner, but he was a blood brother, a brother of the heart. He shared his fear of losing him. She responded with care and concern and understanding.

When he had put his phone away, Steve turned his attention back to his partner and began talking to him again. He'd talk all night if he had to. He'd talk himself hoarse if he had to. He'd put Danny's ability to talk incessantly to shame if he had to, but come hell or high water, he was going to get Danny to wake up and talk to him. He was not going to let Danny go.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N I wish a happy, healthy and blessed new year for all of my readers (and for the cast and crew of our beloved Hawaii Five-O!)

A/N FF site has a glitch of some sort. It's dropping reviews. I see them in my email but when I try to respond, it says it isn't there. I see that swifters is having the same problem. So, if I didn't reply to your review, now you know why. Please know that each and every review is appreciated even if I can't reply to it.

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Eventually, Steve gave in to his body's needs and fell asleep in the reclining chair he was seated in next to Danny. It wasn't a bed, but it was pretty comfortable. When he awoke a few hours later, he found himself covered with a blanket that some kindhearted nurse must have brought. Yawning and stretching, Steve didn't need to check his watch. It was pitch black outside, obviously the middle of the night. He looked at Danny. Nothing much had changed.

He began talking again about anything and everything and finally started telling Danny about the case once more. "And then we caught a couple of the bad guys. Did it with back up and without anyone firing a single shot." Steve waited a moment hoping to hear words of praise, thanksgiving, even sarcasm coming from his vocally fluent friend. Just as it had been all night so far, there was only the sound of the machines.

"You hear me Danny? I called for backup. We caught bad guys without a single shot fired."

After facing hour upon hour of silence, Steve nearly jumped out of his seat at the sound of Danny's weak gravelly voice, though he had to strain to hear it and it was broken up by panting breaths. "Took you long enough. Nearly six years I've been trying to get you to do that. Six years! You know how long that is? That's longer than Charlie's been alive. That's when Grace turned 9. Six years. You are the slowest learner in the history of slow learners, you Neanderthal. Proud of you."

Steve didn't know if he should laugh or cry or be proud or what. Too many emotions. It was so good to hear him speak, even if his eyes weren't open. It was so good to know that he was at least somewhat aware of what was going on. Finally! But it was terribly disconcerting that those were milestones to celebrate.

"Yeah, I figured you would be partner. I'm proud of you, too. You're a fighter D. You're not gunna let this beat you," Steve said by way of encouragement. He had been so afraid that Danny might never wake again.

"I can take a beating," was Danny's shocking whispered reply.

"What?"

"That's what he said. Said I was a knight. A knight saves people, right Steve? Isn't that what a knight does?"

Apparently Danny wasn't quite as lucid as it had initially appeared. His train of thought confused Steve so he just went along with it. "Yeah, D. Yeah, a knight saves people. He's right. You're a knight."

"No, no, no! No, I'm not. I didn't save Grace."

"Yes you did partner. Grace is safe and sound with Rachel because you saved her."

"No. Grace is dead because I can take a beating. She's dead because I wouldn't talk. Everybody says I never stop talking but when I wouldn't talk he killed Grace. He thought I was a knight Steve. He thought I was but I'm not."

Steve had finally put all the pieces together. Danny wasn't talking about his daughter Grace being kidnapped. He was talking about his old partner Grace who was brutally murdered in front of him the day he found out that he and Rachel were expecting their first baby. The day had started out with him being, in Danny's own words, discombobulated yet happy and had ended with broken bones and 'borrowed time'. Danny was talking about the personal tragedy he had suffered on 9/11, the drug bust gone bad that had killed his partner, the horrific beating he had endured to try and keep her safe, to try and keep his informant protected. Danny had nothing to feel guilty for yet his feelings of guilt were palpable even in delirium.

"It's not your fault D. The bad guys killed Grace because they're bad," Steve assured him, a hand softly stroking Danny's leg through the blankets in comfort. "But you're a good guy. It wasn't your fault Danno."

"Danno. Grace calls me Danno," he mumbled, nearly unintelligible, before falling silent again.

And so it went through the rest of the night and early morning. When he wasn't dozing, Steve kept talking and mostly Danny remained silent and still but every once in a while he would rouse slightly and speak. Most of it was nonsense, but at least he was speaking.

One time it made Steve laugh. "Chin brought lunch from Polunu's yesterday. That mean's chubby in Hawaiian, right?"

"Yeah, that's right, D."

"Why would anyone name a restaurant Chubby's? Is that really the reputation you want your restaurant to have?"

"What do you mean?" Steve asked with a chuckle.

"Eat here and get fat. That's what I mean. Why not call it Sal's or Franco's?"

"Maybe there's nobody there with that name."

"So what? Doesn't matter. Those are good names. Make you think there's some magic chef from Italy preparing your food."

One time it was enlightening to Steve. "You know what's wrong with this island?"

"No Danny. Why don't you tell me what's wrong with this island." Steve was sure he had heard all of the complaints before but he'd let Danny say it over and over if it kept him conscious.

"Other than not having a normal winter? Not quite as hot as hell is not winter. Winter is cold. It's snow. It's sledding and snowboarding. It's stuffing your hands in your pockets when you don't have gloves so you don't get frostbite. It's hitting your brother in the head with a snowball. It's being able to see your breath. It's putting on extra socks and the long johns your great aunt gave you for Christmas. It's icicles hanging from the gutters. It's sun reflecting off the ice-covered branches that looks so beautiful it takes your breath away. That's a normal winter. Yeah, but that's what's wrong with this island, there's no Lebanese restaurant with hookahs and belly dancers."

The twist from winter to Lebanese restaurant made Steve's tired head spin. But the Lebanese restaurant sounded pretty good to Steve. Maybe there was one. He'd have to check into it and take Danny there to celebrate his recovery, was his wishful thinking. "You like hookahs and belly dancers, buddy?"

"I don't smoke the hookah. If I want to kill myself I'll do it quick and painless. But the belly dancers, oh babe, you bet I like them. In Paterson there are some amazing places with the finest belly dancers you've ever seen."

"Sounds good, D. Maybe someday we'll find one around here."

One time, it was puzzling. "I think I need an elephant."

Steve had been dozing in the chair because Danny had been quiet so long and Steve had run out of steam talking. He startled awake, not sure if he had heard Danny's soft words correctly. "You what? You need an elephant?"

"Yeah. An elephant. Elephants mate for life. The females don't leave just because the male is in danger. They're faithful for life. Gotta find me an elephant."

Another time it was typical encyclopedic Danny. "Did you know that New Jersey has more stringent water control testing of coastal waters than any other state?"

"No, actually I didn't know that," Steve replied.

"Yeah, I still don't want to set foot in the ocean, but at least I know it's as clean as there is around."

"Okay," Steve agreed, not sure what else to say to that.

"It's something to be proud of. What does Hawaii have as a claim of fame – it's the most isolated population center on the face of the earth. Seriously, that's paradise?"

Of all the facts about Hawaii, that's the one Danny comes up with. Steve had to chuckle at that. "That's not why they call it paradise my friend." Steve defended his home state.

"Oh yeah, sure. After all, they do grow 1/3 of the world's pineapple supply. Now that's something to be proud of. But they can't even grow a decent tomato here. Jersey tomatoes are the best in the world. In six years in Hawaii I haven't found a tomato that compares to a Jersey tomato."

"Tomatoes? Really Danny?"

"Can't make a good sauce without them. Lots of good stuff about New Jersey. Did you know that the first submarine ride ever was done there, in the Passaic River?"

"No, I didn't know that either, D," Steve said a bit impressed by the history and a bit amused that this is what was running through his ill friend's mind right now.

"Okay, I'm sure you know the Miss America Pageant is in New Jersey, right?"

"Yeah, Atlantic City. That I know."

"Oh babe, you haven't lived 'til you went to AC at Miss America time."

Delirious Danny was actually making New Jersey sound pretty appealing.

One time things just came out of left field, startling Steve awake again. "The Mets really should have won the World Series."

"Sorry about that, D."

"They had all the parts, ya know."

"Yeah, you told me – more than once."

"It's the Cubs fault."

"Huh? Didn't they beat the Cubs to get there?" Steve was waking up now.

"Yeah, won me a pretty penny from Lou, too," Danny giggled, making Steve smile.

"Then how is it their fault?" Danny 's logic sometimes defied logic.

"They didn't even show up. I mean we rolled right over them. We were so hot going into that series and they just didn't show up."

"So? That's a good thing, isn't it? How is the Mets losing the World Series their fault?"

"Four up, four down, man. Cubs didn't win a single game. Mets had so many days off before the Series, they got cold. Stone cold. Cubs didn't even put up a fight. It's their fault."

"You have a point there, Danno. You'll see them win it all next year." There was so much hope in that statement.

In the morning, the team members came to the hospital again. This time, Kono sat with Danny while Lou and Chin took Steve out for breakfast.

"Hey brah," Kono said cheerfully as she sat on the edge of the bed. Danny had been sleeping again, but she hoped to awaken him and be able to speak to him just a bit.

Danny gave a soft moan, but nothing more.

"Oh come on, brah," she said as she brushed the hair off his face. He'd have a fit if he saw his hair right now, she thought wryly. "Don't just lie there sleeping. I only have an hour or so and then I have to go. Steve told me you were talking some last night so don't hold out on me."

Another soft moan was the only reply.

She decided to take another tack. "You hungry Danny? The guys will bring back something really nice for you if you want. Malasades? Cocoa Puffs? Jersey style donuts? Just wake up and tell me what you want."

Nothing. The mention of food hadn't even made him stir. This was so unlike Danny. She had another trick up her sleeve. "Hey, Grace had cheerleading practice yesterday. She was at the top of the pyramid. She sent us all a picture of it. You want to see?" Grace was a favorite "niece" to all of the Five-O team.

"D'ngerous," came the soft mumbling from under the covers, bringing a huge smile to Kono's face. He could hear her and understand.

"Hey, no brah, they have spotters and everything. No worries. She did great. You want to see the picture?"

Danny's eyelids fluttered.

"That's it. Come on, show me those baby blues." Kono couldn't deny she had a thing for Danny's eyes. Well, she couldn't deny it to herself. She never told anyone else.

Danny managed to open his eyes fully. "Hey Kono." His voice was weak, but he was somewhat coherent.

"Hey Danny," Kono said brightly. "Here, take a look at that amazing daughter of yours."

Danny tried hard to focus his eyes on the small screen of Kono's phone, tried hard to see his precious little girl. He couldn't see much, the picture was small and distant and his eyes weren't quite focusing, but he knew it was his baby even if he couldn't see her. "Beautiful," he stated in a weak but proud voice.

"Yes she is, Danny," Kono beamed with love of her own. "And since you're being so good and staying awake, you get a bonus." She pulled the phone back and swiped her fingers across the screen.

"Charlie?" Danny asked before she even turned the phone around.

Kono shook her head in amusement. Danny was so predictable. "Yep, Charlie. Grace sent me this one too. Oh Danny, I can't wait to meet him on Thanksgiving. He's my favorite nephew already."

Danny couldn't focus on this one either but he smiled in pleasure anyway, just knowing what was there. "Still can't believe he's mine sometimes."

"I can only imagine," Kono sympathized.

"How's work?" he asked.

Kono was thrilled that she was experiencing a long moment of lucidity from Danny. He didn't have much of that throughout the evening and night before from what Steve said.

"It's quiet without you," Kono told him.

"I think I've just been insulted."

"Definitely not." Kono smiled. Typical Danny. "It's just not the same without you. I never quite realized what you mean to this team, brah. It's a bit crazy to think that a sarcastic Jersey haole is the heart of Five-O."

"Hawaiians everywhere must be cringing," Danny mumbled as he slipped back into oblivion. Like Steve earlier, Kono didn't quite know whether to laugh or cry.

When they returned from breakfast, Steve sat with Danny again as the others headed back to work. He began the routine of talking about anything and everything again. This time it was a story about Max. Danny awoke and took things in a completely different direction then Steve had intended, which was pretty characteristic of Danny once he thought about it. "So, Max said it was one of the most interesting things he's ever found in an autopsy," Steve said as he finished his story.

"How's Mindy?" Danny asked.

"Mindy?"

"Yeah, Dr. Shaw. How's she doing?"

"How's Mindy doing? You're on a first name basis?"

"Yeah, ever since the elevator."

"Elevator?"

"Why do you keep repeating what I'm saying?"

"Sorry. What happened in the elevator?" He paused a moment but Danny didn't answer. "Do I really want to know?" he added with a laugh. Then he realized that Danny must have fallen asleep again. "Danny? Danny?"

"Why are you shouting?" came the injured man's reply.

"I wasn't shouting." He just sensed a good story here and wanted to get it while Danny was willing to spill the beans. In other words, he had to get Danny to tell it while he was still feverish. Yes it was evil but that's what friends were for.

"Sounded like you were to me."

"Sorry partner."

"Apology accepted."

"So?"

"So what?"

"You gunna tell me what happened?" Sitting on the edge of his seat, Steve was like a kid in a candy shop. This was going to be such good blackmail material to use on his best friend. He rubbed his hands together in eager anticipation.

"I got stabbed." Danny shifted in the bed with a groan.

"You got stabbed in an elevator with Dr. Shaw?"

"What is this Clue? No, I got stabbed in the classroom while pretending to be a Professor. You better get your head checked."

"But what about the elevator with Dr. Shaw, uh Mindy?" But Danny was out of it again. "Danny? Oh come on! You can't sleep now!"

tbc


	17. Chapter 17

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N In case it's not apparent, words in italics are Danny's hallucinations/memories.

H50 H50 H50

 _Danny was standing on the beach in Wildwood, New Jersey with his best friend Billy Selway looking out at the ocean. Danny loved it here. They came every summer and the beach, the sun, the ocean – he just loved everything about it. Then there was the boardwalk at night. That was awesome too. Add having his best friend by his side and it was perfect. Danny was generally a happy child but this moment, right now – beach, ocean, best friend – this was paradise._

" _Last one to the buoy is a rotten egg," they said simultaneously. It wasn't unusual for them. They had grown up together. They did everything together._

 _Small, prepubescent feet pounded the beach, sand flying in all directions. They reached the water and dove into the surf, surfacing into a sprinted swim. Danny was in the lead this time. You never knew which of them would win one of their contests; they were so evenly matched. Suddenly Danny began to struggle. A riptide was pulling him away, tugging him under. He began to panic. He heard Billy's voice calling him. He was coming to help._

 _Somehow amidst the panic, Danny remembered the rule – don't try to swim against a riptide. Instead, swim parallel to the shore until you are free of it. So, that's exactly what he did. Soon, he no longer felt the pull of the riptide. He turned to smile at Billy, but he wasn't next to him. He looked back. Billy was now caught in the same riptide, being pulled under. Although taller, he wasn't as strong as Danny. Danny swam back to him, not taking his eyes off of where he went under. He tried to find him. Called for help. Dove under the water to find him. Came up gasping for air and called for help again._

"Steve? Steve?"

Steve was dozing in the recliner again. He awoke when he heard his partner's frantic plea. He jumped to his feet and went to his partner's side immediately. "Yeah, buddy."

"Steve?" Danny was gasping for breath.

Steve laid his hand on Danny's chest as a calming presence. He could feel his heart pounding way too fast and he was still too hot. "I'm right here, Danny. I'm right here."

"I can't find him, Steve."

"Who Danny? Who can't you find?"

"Billy. I can't find Billy."

Steve's heart sank. Danny was delirious but this time his ramblings were far from funny and certainly not blackmail material.

"Will you help me find him, Steve?"

There were two ways to play this – go along with it or tell Danny that Billy was dead. Steve didn't know what was best. He had heard that with amnesia victims it was best to let them remember things themselves so he went with playing along. "Yeah sure Danny. I'll help you."

"We were racing to the buoy. I got caught in a riptide. He tried to help me. "

The desperation in Danny's voice was heartbreaking. Steve glanced at the monitor that was registering Danny's vitals, hoping that his rising respiration and heart rates weren't becoming dangerous. The doctor had said they did not want to have to give Danny a sedative, given his fragile condition. It could prove too much for his already stressed system. "I know. I'll look for him."

"I'm so tired, but I can't stop. I have to find him."

"You're doing great, Danny. Hang in there."

"You're a SEAL, you swim better than me. Please help me."

"Okay Danny. I'll help you, but I don't know where he is."

"I saw him go under right there." Danny pointed with his left hand. "I watched him go under. I tried to reach him. I tried and I couldn't. I saw him go under. I failed him. I failed my best friend."

"You tried Danny. Everybody knows you tried."

 _Vaguely Danny heard the lifeguard whistle. He dove under the water again, searching for Billy. He had to be close by. He was just here. He felt strong arms wrap around his chest and pull him out of the water. He struggled against them. He told them his best friend was under the water and he had to find him._

Danny's head was rolling back and forth on the pillow, his body jerking. "I have to find him. I can't leave. He's my best friend."

 _The strong arms dragged Danny to the shoreline but he continued to struggle._

"You can't make me leave!" he shouted. "I can keep swimming. We can't just leave him. Help me damnit!"

Steve took Danny's left hand in his now. Danny's heart rate was getting too high. "Shh, Danny. It's okay. Calm down now."

 _Now his father was there, pulling him away from the strong arms of the lifeguard, telling him it was okay, holding him tight against his chest. Danny pushed against him, trying to get away, yelling at his father that he had to find Billy._

"Leave me alone, Pop." Danny shouted in anger as he pulled his hand away from Steve's. "I'm not leaving until I find him."

Steve jumped as the heart monitor started blaring a warning. Not knowing what else to do, he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Danny into his arms, not worrying about his injuries or the IV lines or monitors or anything. All that mattered right then was that Danny knew that he was safe, that he was loved, that someone cared, that he wasn't alone. "Shhh, it's okay Danny. It's going to be okay."

A nurse rushed in and flipped off the annoying alarm before looking at the monitor. The doctor would have to make the decision to give him a sedative to calm him or not.

"Bad dream," Steve told the nurse. Hallucination was more accurate but she nodded in understanding as he went back to soothing his best friend. "I got you, Danny. You're my best friend and you're okay and I'm not going to leave you."

"Billy?" Danny said.

"Yeah, he's your best friend, too," Steve said, still holding him tight.

"His heart rate is going down," the nurse told the doctor as he quickly entered the room.

"Whatever you're doing, keep doing it," the doctor told Steve. "I don't want to risk giving him a sedative."

"Billy. Billy's my best friend," Danny said.

"Yes he is," Steve said, swallowing the lump in his throat and battling the niggling feeling of jealousy as he held Danny tight.

 _Danny was up through the night, arguing with his parents that he needed to be looking for Billy, that they had to do_ _something_ _to find Billy. Then Billy's parents arrived and Danny was banished to the room that he and Billy had shared with Matt. His sisters took pity on the sobbing youngest sibling and took Matty into their room and snuggled him between them in the double bed they shared. Danny was left alone in his misery. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. He was angry. He was desperate. When the doorbell rang the next afternoon, Danny finally emerged, still wearing his now dry swimsuit, eyes glazed with fatigue, anger and fear. He saw the police officer in the doorway asking for the Selways._

"Steve?"

"Yeah D?" He still held him tight.

 _A tear escaped Danny's eye._

"Billy's dead, isn't he? He's just a kid, but he's dead." A tear rolled down Danny's cheek, followed by a matching one rolling down Steve's, into Danny's hair.

" _I'm sorry," the officer said._

Steve looked at the doctor, unsure what to do. The doctor nodded his head. "Yeah, Danno. Billy's dead."

A look of sadness crossed the faces of both doctor and nurse as they heard this exchange. They looked away, trying to respect their patient's privacy.

 _Mrs. Selway collapsed and her husband and Danny's father caught her before she hit the floor. They ushered her over to the sofa. That's when they saw Danny standing there. All eyes were on him - his parents, his siblings, Billy's parents, the police officer. Billy was dead and it was his fault. He wouldn't cry. He swore he wouldn't, but he did._

"He was trying to help me and now he's dead." Danny broke down now into heartbreaking sobs, his body shaking, his left hand clinging tightly to the back of Steve's shirt. "No! No! Billy."

"Shhh, I'm here."

 _Danny was dressed in a suit, his Sunday finest. Billy was too, as he lay in the casket. It was time for the funeral. A somber man in a black suit came and reached for the lid._

"He's in a box. No, no, don't close the box." His panicked voice tore again at Steve's heart. Was this where his claustrophobia came from? Seeing his best friend sealed up tight in a shiny mahogany casket?

"It's okay Danny. It's going to be okay." Steve wasn't quite sure how it was ever okay. He wasn't quite sure how Danny had ever gone on after not only losing a best friend at such a tender, young age but also losing him right in front of him, watching it happen, helpless to do anything. That Danny was terrified of the ocean after that was completely understandable. Yes, Steve had lost Freddy and it was difficult, but they were warriors in battle not kids on vacation. And Freddy had been a comrade in arms more so than a friend. If Steve lost Danny like that, on the other hand, he didn't think he'd even be able to face another day, much less the ocean. His friend was most certainly a man of courage – a courage not worn on his sleeve for the entire world to see, but deep within his sensitive heart where it resided next to his capacity for love and loyalty.

Satisfied with Danny's vitals now, the doctor and nurse unobtrusively left the room, giving the friends as much privacy as you could get in a glass walled ICU cubicle.

For several minutes Danny clung to Steve sobbing in grief as fresh and as painful as the day Billy died. Arms wrapped strongly around Danny's broad torso, Steve held his partner to him whispering calmly into his hair as his head rested on Danny's.

When the tears finally subsided, Danny crumpled in Steve's arms, his energy spent. Steve pushed the button to raise the head of the bed slightly and then settled his best friend back against the pillows, his hand resting on Danny's chest. It was comforting for both of them. "Shhh, you're going to be okay, Danny. I gotcha buddy."

Danny was exhausted - physically and emotionally drained. A deep, intense pain blazed through him from back to front. His head was throbbing white-hot. His eyes were closed as he rested against the pillows, still breathing heavy. His cheeks still wet with tears. Steve stroked the sweaty hair from his face, wiped the tears from his cheeks, and tenderly patted his chest.

Finally feeling settled many minutes later, Danny opened his eyes and looked at Steve, speaking amidst the feverish confusion in a quiet, hoarse, pain-filled rasp. With their eyes locked, he spoke in a moment of clarity that Steve would never, ever forget, a moment that Steve would cherish for the rest of his life, a moment that would break his heart and yet fill it to abundance.

"I never thought I'd have another friend like Billy or another partner like Grace. I never thought I'd have another brother. In you, I got all three."


	18. Chapter 18

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N I'm not a medical professional. I do some basic research to give a general feel of things, but mostly I use my imagination.

H50 H50 H50

Steve was an emotional wreck. He knew that he and Danny were close. He had called him friend, partner and even brother at different times. But hearing Danny call him his best friend, his best partner and his brother the way he did was just overwhelming. Danny was not delirious at that moment. He was fully aware of what he was saying and it left Steve reeling with love for this amazing man, pride at being his friend, grief for all Danny had lost already and fear for what Danny faced in the future. He was at a loss for words and gave Danny no verbal reply at all, so unsure of what to say, so unequipped for such a deep, heartfelt emotional moment. As Danny would say, he was emotionally stunted.

Danny's declaration hadn't been planned, although he meant every word of it. He wasn't sure what he expected Steve to say, how he expected him to react, but he was surprised by the total silence. This was the friendship equivalent of telling a woman 'I love you' and getting nothing in return. Had he screwed up the friendship? Had he given Steve the wrong idea? Danny needed time to process this reaction or rather the lack thereof, but he didn't get it.

The burning, shocking pain of a nerve attack struck with a vengeance flaring through his back like a lightning strike. Danny gasped, groaned, and tried to catch his breath. The pain was fierce and brutal. It was a bad one. All thoughts of how he had just ruined his friendship with Steve went out the window as he struggled simply to make it through the next moment.

Steve's thoughts went quickly to Danny as he watched his face go pale, his breath hitch, his body tense and curl in on itself. A nerve pain attack and it looked like a bad one. Coming just minutes after the awful hallucination about Billy Selway's death it was like pouring salt in a wound. It wasn't fair, but life hadn't exactly been fair to Danny Williams all week. Why would it start now?

Steve knew from past attacks what to do while they were happening. Nothing. Touching him and talking to him only made it worse – sensory overload it seemed. After being told "leave me the hell alone," multiple times, he finally got the idea. So he turned down the lights, shut the door and silently sat in the chair and watched helplessly as his brother of the heart suffered in excruciating agony.

The pain mercifully receded just over an hour later, and Danny finally settled into an exhausted sleep. He had now been sleeping peacefully for the last hour, much to Steve's relief. These alternating bouts of nerve pain and delirium were difficult to witness and exhausting even for Steve. He could see the toll it was all taking on his friend's body and it was truly worrisome. And the hallucination about Billy Selway's death and this latest nerve pain attack were the worst of each. He couldn't imagine that it could get any worse.

He was a problem solver by nature but he had no solution to any of the problems his best friend was facing and that was incredibly frustrating. Right now he'd settle for Danny waking up and remaining coherent for more than five minutes. He longed for a normal conversation with him, if you could in fact call any conversation with Danny Williams normal, he thought with a wry laugh.

Steve stood and stretched. He needed to move, he needed action. He needed and wanted to be here for Danny, but just sitting here watching him sleep and waiting for the next hallucination, strange conversation or nerve pain attack to occur was grating on his nerves. He headed out into the hallway where he saw two women at the desk.

The older of the two smiled at him. "Coming up for air?" she asked.

"Just need to stretch my legs," Steve replied.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee? Juice?" she asked.

"No thank you."

"That must have been difficult for you, witnessing what he went through earlier," the older nurse said, referring to the vivid hallucination Danny had about Billy.

"Not as bad as it was for him," Steve replied. "His best friend died in front of him when he was just a kid and he just lived through the death all over again," Steve explained, shaking his head in disbelief.

He glanced back at the ICU bay where Danny was now resting peacefully, for the moment anyway. "How do you get over something like that? I didn't know what to do."

"Looked to me like you did everything right," the older nurse who had been in the room at the time assured him. "It's over now."

"I hope you're right. He's been through enough." He rested both hands on the counter and leaned forward flexing his arms. For some reason, he needed to talk about it. Maybe he could then understand why this all was happening. "There was one minute after that when he was lucid and he spoke to me so openly and it was amazing and then another one of those damn nerve attacks hit and I had to watch him suffer through it for an hour. It's so hard to watch. I feel so helpless."

"You can always come out here," the younger one suggested.

"And leave him to go through that alone? No way."

"He's sleeping now? I'm due to give him a sponge bath but I won't disturb him if he's finally comfortable." This from the younger one.

"I'm sure he'd want to be awake for that," Steve said with a smirk. She was very pretty.

"Well, we'll be throwing you out when the time comes so don't look so excited," the older one said.

"No exceptions even for family?"

"Family? I thought he was your partner in Five-O," said the younger one playfully, as if she had caught him up in a lie.

"More like a brother," Steve told her seriously as he stretched again. Danny had said the same just an hour ago. Again he felt the need to talk, to share, to get some of this out of his head. "His real brother died less than a year ago."

The younger one smiled sadly at Steve's first words, but it was the older one who spoke when he finished. "It's good he has you then, but I hope you have enough sense to go home and get some real sleep tonight. You won't do that brother of yours any good if you wear yourself down."

"He's having way too rough a time of it. Getting stabbed in the back was just the tip of the iceberg for him. There's no way I'll leave him alone."

"There's nobody else to stay with him and give you a break?" the older one asked.

"He has other ohana here who are willing to help. Lots of people love him." He said it with pride and then smiled at the younger one. "I'll let you know when he wakes up."

Steve returned to the room and picked up Danny's laptop, needing to do something besides sit there and wait. He was sorting through his emails when the video chat signal buzzed. Tapping it instinctively, he answered "McGarrett."

"Danno?" came a little voice, catching Steve's attention right away. Oops, forgot this was Danny's laptop with Danny's account on it.

"Hi Charlie. I'm Danno's friend Steve. Remember me?"

"Daddy, it's Uncle Steve," Charlie said as he looked over his shoulder. Then Stan's face appeared and he spoke. "Hi Steve. Rachel and Grace are out and Charlie wanted to talk to Danny."

"It's quite alright," Steve said.

"How's he doing?" Stan asked. Danny was a thorn in his side but it was the right thing to do when a man was in ICU.

"Hanging in there," was Steve's vague reply. He wasn't going to tell him how worried he was that Danny might not make it through his. "Sleeping right now. I was just using Danny's laptop and answered automatically. I'll be happy to talk to you though Charlie," he added to the boy.

"You sure?" Stan asked and at Steve's affirmative reply he ruffled the boy's hair and walked away.

"Bye Daddy," Charlie said to the retreating figure, making Steve cringe. Danny should be the one he called Daddy. "Where's Danno?" Charlie now asked of Steve.

"He's sleeping."

Charlie pouted. His face and blond hair were Danny's, but the brown eyes were Rachel's. "I want to see him."

Steve glanced at Danny. There was no way he would allow this precious little boy to see his dad in the condition he was in, wires and tubes and monitors everywhere. "He needs his sleep so he can get better. You don't want to wake him up, do you?"

Charlie pondered that for a moment. "No, he can be kind of cranky when he wakes up."

Steve laughed at that. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"I drew a picture for him. Want to see?"

"Sure. I'd love to." Steve then saw a drawing held up in front of the screen. Unfortunately he wasn't very good at interpreting the drawing of a 4 year old, although he thought maybe he saw a tiger. It had four legs and stripes anyway. 'Wow, that's very nice Charlie."

"It's a picture of Danno and me," Charlie said proudly as he pulled it away and his face reappeared. Yep, it was a tiger. That was Danny's nickname for Charlie.

"I'm sure he'll love it," Steve assured him.

"He gave me a powees bear." Charlie produced the stuffed bear wearing a police uniform, that Danny had sent home to him with Grace, and snuggled it to him.

"He's really cool, Charlie. He has a uniform and everything."

"He has a badge like Danno." The little boy pointed to the tiny badge.

"That does look a lot like Danno's badge," Steve agreed with a smile.

Stan's voice could then be heard from off screen telling the boy he had to wrap it up. "Danno's especiable," Charlie then told Steve.

That was about the cutest thing Steve had ever heard. He found himself longing for someone to tell him that he was 'especiable'. "Yeah, I think you're right. Danno loves you, Charlie," Steve then told him certain that was exactly what Danny would want him to say.

"Love him more," Charlie replied before he hit the button that closed the call, leaving Steve slightly dazed as he stared at his feverish partner.

Danny was becoming restless in the bed. Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly. They were soon in for another round of something unpleasant for Danny to endure. The reprieves were too short.

 _Danny stepped onto the plane with Steve and they headed to the back. Kono was already there and she pointed into the bathroom. He looked in and couldn't believe his eyes. Dave! What was Dave doing here? Dave was covered in blood, undeniably dead. Danny needed air. Turning, he stepped away from the bathroom and tried to breathe. Thought he might be sick._

"I know him."

Here we go, Steve thought, not sure he was ready for another round of this. "Who Danny?"

"Dave Collins. He's a friend from New Jersey. What's he doing here? There's so much blood." Danny was thrashing now in the bed and Steve went to him and tried his best to soothe him without moving him if he didn't have to.

"I'm sorry Danny," Steve said simply, knowing he was now reliving the death of yet another friend.

"He has three kids. He's my friend. We stay in touch. Gotta call his wife." Danny was rambling.

"She knows Danny. They're doing okay."

"He's dead because of me. He was trying to call me and warn me. Another friend dead because of me."

"It's not your fault, Danny. It was Peterson's fault." Steve regretted the words as soon as they left his lips.

"Peterson. He has Grace." Danny's voice was the most frantic and panicked Steve had ever heard.

"No Danny. Grace is at home with Rachel."

 _Danny was sitting in the car with his old training partner Rick Peterson riding shotgun, rather literally, next to him. "Whatever happens to that sweet, innocent daughter of yours, it's on your head."_

"If you touch my daughter you son of a b**ch, I swear, I'll kill you." Danny was screaming. Steve glanced at the door afraid somebody would hear.

"Calm down, Danny. Grace is fine. You hear me, Danny? Grace is fine."

"Whatever happens it's my fault." Danny was still hallucinating, but at least he wasn't screaming.

"No Danny, no it's not."

"He has Grace. He's going to kill her." Danny could barely breathe, his pulse pounding in his ears.

"She's okay Danny. She's home with Rachel and Charlie."

 _Danny saw that it was Rachel on caller ID. She was in New Jersey with Grace and Danny had promised he'd get there as soon as he could. They'd be a family again – Danny, Rachel, Grace and the baby. He just had to get Steve out of prison for the murder of the Governor that he didn't commit and he would join them. He could be happy again. "Daniel, the baby isn't yours. I'm staying with Stan."_

"Charlie. He's not mine. She said he was mine and then she said he wasn't. I love that baby already," he sobbed. "He has to be mine. I want us to be a family again, but I didn't go back to New Jersey." Tears were slipping down his cheeks.

Oh Danny, Steve thought. He bowed his head and bit back a sob of his own. How can I help you through this, again? He just didn't know what to do with all of this. Rachel had made such a mess of Danny's life, of Danny himself. She had hurt him beyond words, beyond imagination. He felt partially responsible. If Danny hadn't stayed in Hawaii to help Steve out of trouble he would have gone back to New Jersey with Rachel, Grace and the baby to be a family again. But Steve knew, and he was pretty sure Danny did by now as well, that it never would have worked, that at some point she would have walked out on Danny again.

What she had done instead though was inexcusable. She had taken his son away from him. Taken him away so she could play house with her rich second husband, only to come forward with the truth when the boy was very sick and they needed Danny's help. She had done the emotional equivalent of stabbing Danny in the back and there was clear evidence in front of Steve how incredibly painful and damaging that was. Sometimes Steve could barely stand the thought of Rachel. How Danny dealt with her the way he did was beyond him. For the kids' sake, Danny would say. The man deserved a medal.

"Charlie is yours, buddy. He's a great kid and he loves his Danno. Just relax. You've got two great kids who love you very much and want you to get better so they can see you again. Just settle down and let yourself heal, alright?"

 _Danny and Rachel were sitting on a park bench. She was telling him that Charlie was sick, that they needed a better match to donate bone marrow, that one parent was a better match than the other… "The kid is mine?"_

"Charlie's mine?"

"Yeah, buddy. Charlie's yours. You have the blood tests to prove it, too." He was so angry with Rachel that he felt like screaming but he settled for shaking his head.

 _Danny was walking down the hallway of the hospital holding Charlie's tiny hand in his. Charlie was dressed like a sheriff and he was so happy. "You think you could do me a favor," Danny asked him. "You think you could stay little forever?"_

"I love him, Steve. I love that little boy."

"I know, buddy. I spoke with him earlier in a video chat. He says he loves you more."

"I have a son. She said he was Stan's. How could she keep my son from me?""

"I don't know. Wish I had answers for you, buddy, but I really, really don't know."

"I have a son. I have a son. How could she do that?" Danny repeated as he drifted back into darkness.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N There's a tip of the hat to Scott in this chapter. Can anybody find it? Do you like when I do them or is it annoying?

H50 H50 H50

Danny continued the discouraging trend of deep sleep interrupted by vivid hallucinations, strange conversations and nerve pain attacks throughout the rest of the day and into the evening. When Melissa came during her lunch hour, Steve headed to the cafeteria for some lunch and then went outside to make a few phone calls before resuming his vigil.

They were able to get his sponge bath done and it seemed to soothe him as well. After peaking just above 104F Danny's temperature had dropped and was hovering around 103, not a good temperature by any means but the drop was an indication that the antibiotics might be starting to work. The wound on his back, however, had not improved.

Danny's blood pressure was still too high and, unable to have a coherent conversation with Danny about it, the doctor resorted to speaking with Steve who held his medical power of attorney and had the legal document to prove it. The doctor was by now on a first name basis with his patient's best and most faithful friend." Steve, I've consulted with a couple colleagues and it is our opinion that his blood pressure may be a reaction to the medication he is receiving, specifically the pain killers," the doctor told him.

Are you kidding me? Steve thought, wanting again to scream. He scrubbed his hands over his face. He was so tired. "So, what can be done?"

"We will try changing the pain medicine first but it is highly unlikely that will do any good. The most likely solution is to lower the level of pain meds he's receiving."

"So, he'll be in more pain? He's not even using the pain pump as it is, even though he could really use it. He's not overdoing it by any means," Steve argued.

"I'm not saying he's receiving too much for the pain he's in, I'm simply saying that it appears he's having a reaction to it that is causing his blood pressure to rise. If I'm correct then lowering the dose will result in a drop in his blood pressure."

"And increasing his pain," Steve added with a sigh.

"The continued high blood pressure is putting a huge strain on his system, Steve. Lowering his blood pressure may help clear some of the confusion he's been suffering as well," the doctor offered.

"So, you're saying he'll feel more pain and be more aware of it as well?"

"That's a possibility. The high blood pressure may also be causing the headaches he's experiencing so they may be relieved."

Steve looked at Danny in the bed. The man was easily the best friend he had ever had. How could he make a decision like this? "He seems to be reliving every traumatic experience he's ever had and sadly he's been through a lot."

The doctor nodded sadly. He had been witness to one of those experiences earlier.

Steve didn't want to do this. It was too much to decide. Maybe he could talk to Chin and Kono and Lou. Or Danny's parents. But, no, Danny had trusted him to handle just this kind of situation. Danny's trust in him was so complete. He had to honor that trust. He went over the ramifications of the choice. Leaving things the way they were now, his physical pain was somewhat managed, not counting the nerve pain of course, but his sky-high blood pressure and resultant racing pulse were straining his heart and most likely causing the headaches and hallucinations he was suffering. If they decreased the pain medicine his pain level would clearly increase and if the doctor's theory was correct his mental state would improve as well, causing him to more fully comprehend the pain. However, if the doctor was correct and he was having a reaction to the pain meds then reducing them could help lessen the headaches and the hallucinations and the strain on his heart and the rest of his system.

Steve knew that Danny was physically strong, although weakened now by his injury. Steve also knew that Danny was sensitive. He loved deeply, forming very close bonds with a few select people. Many of those people had died, some right in front of Danny, many more had died in a way that was somehow connected to him. Others still, had hurt him deeply. He was now reliving and re-grieving each death, each betrayal, breaking his heart anew each time, breaking Steve's heart each time as well.

Steve had a sudden realization. This is the kind of suffering that Danny would endure if something happened to Steve. Given what Danny had said earlier in the day after the hallucination about Billy's death he realized that losing Steve would actually cut even deeper. Every daring, death-defying stunt that Steve pulled, that sent Danny into a rant, must make his anxious partner conjure up memories of all of these fallen loved ones and leave him fearful of losing the one man who had replaced them all in his heart.

"You don't have to decide right now Steve," the doctor told him, pulling him back from his thoughts.

Steve knew what he had to do. Danny was physically strong and tough. He could handle the physical pain more than his tortured sensitive soul could handle facing these losses and betrayals over and over again. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Go ahead and reduce the pain meds, doctor. I'll sign whatever needs to be signed."

The doctor left the room to proceed with the change and Steve turned to look at Danny again. "I hope I made the right choice buddy."

Steve had washed his face and had polished off a small carton of juice provided by one of the nurses when he heard a distinctive voice in the hallway asking for Danny's room. Then there was a little flirting with the nurses outside. Steve shook his head and rolled his eyes. Some things never change. Danny's nephew was a natural born flirt it seemed.

Steve stood, stretched and headed into the hallway. "Hey E-train!" Steve tried to keep things light. He needed that reprieve. "Tiffany know you're here?"

Eric stopped talking and turned to look at Steve, a blush creeping across his cheeks before he sobered. "I was just asking how Uncle D is doing. He's okay, isn't he?" The voice that was so flirtatious just a minute ago sounded so young and innocent now.

Steve looked at Eric and blinked. He had to remind himself that even though he had left the only home he knew and come nearly 5000 miles to start his first job, Eric was still young, barely able to legally drink and sleeping on his uncle's sofa. Steve hadn't spent much time with him, inside or outside of work, but he got the impression that Danny meant much more to Eric than the kid let on.

"Commander McGarrett?" Eric asked, very unnerved by Steve's silence.

Steve shook himself. Geez, he was losing it. "It's Steve here, Eric. We're not at the office." He moved to Eric and they greeted now with a quick hug and a slap on the back. Then Steve turned to the nurses working the ICU. "This is Danny's nephew Eric. This young man saved his life," he said with pride.

Eric smiled and blushed again as the nurses fawned on him for a few moments. Then Steve spoke again. "Is there someplace we can sit and talk for a few minutes? I don't want to disturb Danny but I don't want to go too far."

"There's a sitting room down the hall," the young nurse said. "And don't worry, I'll come get you right away if he starts to stir," she added when she saw Steve glance at Danny's door.

The second they entered the small sitting room Eric turned abruptly. "What's going on? You're really scaring me here. That's my uncle in there and I want to know," he demanded.

"Whoa, calm down, Eric." Steve held his hands up. "Not much has changed since we last spoke. I just didn't want to be talking in his room and risk disturbing him. He needs restful sleep."

Eric swallowed hard. "Okay. Sorry. I just… I mean, he's my uncle and…"

"I get it, okay. I get it."

"He's always been there for me, you know? When my Dad died, Uncle D was always there. Taught me how to play baseball. Went to all my games, even though I wasn't very good. Wasn't his fault. He's a great coach. I'm just not very coordinated. Took me to concerts and Mets and Yankee games before he came here. You know he flew 5000 miles home so he could be at my high school graduation? I mean, how many uncles do that kind of stuff? Uncle Matt didn't. My dad's brothers don't. I was lost when he moved here. I know he needed to be with Gracie but …" He stopped for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "He has to be okay. He just has to." He hadn't intended to share all of that, but it was out now.

Nothing Eric said surprised Steve one bit. "I'm not going to lie to you, Eric. He's very sick. That's a serious infection that has a hold of him. The wound still looks bad, but," he held his hand up to stop Eric from interrupting, "his temperature has been slowly making its way down so it appears that maybe the new set of antibiotics is starting to do the trick."

Eric let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and sank into the sofa. Steve settled next to him, perched on the edge. "What about his blood pressure?" Eric asked.

Steve was impressed. The kid obviously had been paying attention all along to Steve's updates. "That's still a problem. The doctor spoke to me a little while ago and they think the problem may be the pain meds."

"You mean he's getting too much?"

"No. It appears he's having a reaction to it so they're going to reduce the dose. Hopefully that will lower his blood pressure and help reduce the confusion and headaches he's been suffering."

"But he'll be in more pain," Eric observed.

"Yes."

"That sucks."

"Yeah."

"You have his medical power of attorney, right?" Eric asked. "So you had to agree to this?"

Uh-oh, Steve thought. Here it comes. He nodded. "Yes, I…" he started, ready to defend himself.

"That must have been tough. I don't envy you having to make that call, but for what it's worth, I think you made the right one."

Steve just looked at him, unable to even reply.

"Thanks for taking care of him. The whole family appreciates all you're doing," Eric added. Steve had been sending regular updates via email to most of Danny's family.

"He's my friend," Steve said, voice choked with emotion. My friend and my brother.

"Yep," Eric said as he stood up. "Now I'm going to go take care of my uncle for the night and you're going to go home and get some sleep."

Steve stood up as well. "No, I…"

"You what? You want to wear yourself out sitting there watching him sleep so by the time he's ready to go home, you're too sick to help out when he really needs it?"

Steve had to smile. Sometimes this kid sounded just like his uncle. He had the rant thing down and the caring heart, it seemed. "If you really want to stay I won't get in your way," Steve said. Eric was family and he wanted to help. Steve had to respect that. "But, the chair is pretty comfortable actually so I don't mind staying."

"Okay, but how many times did he wake you up last night? Hmmm? How much sleep did you get today? You've been here for over 24 hours. Now, tell me what I need to know if he has one of those nerve attack things and what to do if he's still hallucinating. Then go home and get some sleep – but take a shower first." He waved his hand in front of his face. "I'm surprised those nurses haven't thrown you out yet."

Steve laughed. "Are you sure you're not Danny inside another body?"

"What?" Eric asked.

"Never mind," Steve said, before he began giving some pointers to Danny's nephew who alternated between being a kid on the verge of being a man, and a man who had just stopped being a kid.

When Steve finished, they headed to Danny's ICU room. Eric had stopped in both days Danny had been here and had received the update from Steve but he was still totally unprepared for the sight of his uncle. "Oh crap Uncle D. What the hell?"

"You sure you're up to this?" Steve asked gently, putting a reassuring hand on Eric's shoulder.

Eric took a deep breath and pulled himself up to his full height yet tottered his weight back and forth between his feet. He could do this. For his Uncle D, he could do this. To cover the worry and fear he put on his act of false bravado. "Yeah sure. What's so tough about watching him sleep, huh? And if he wakes up, well, I'm half Williams so I can handle anything, right?" He smiled and bobbed his head a bit nervously but his intentions were sincere.

"You got that right," Steve agreed. He had seen the Williams side of Eric Russo the other day when he saved Danny's life. If that was any indication then he could certainly handle this. More than that, it was something that the kid seemed to need to do. And Steve couldn't deny that he could use a shower and a bed himself.

"Good things happen when you get your priorities straight," Eric said, looking at his uncle fondly.

"What's that?" Steve asked.

"Something Uncle D taught me. Helped me get myself on track to go to school and get this job.

"Sounds like good advice to me."

"Yeah, it really is. That's the way Uncle D lives, ya know? Gracie and now Charlie, they're his first priority. You, Melissa, the family, your ohana, his job. He puts everything before himself, including his right to complain about everything," Eric added with a laugh.

Seemed like Eric was pretty perceptive, maybe another trait he had learned from Danny. "Well, tonight, your priority is taking care of him. You sure you want to stay?" Steve gave him one more chance to back out.

"I want to stay, but, I can call you if he needs you, right?" Eric asked, allowing a bit of his youth and uncertainty to show through.

"Of course. And you can call me if YOU need me too," Steve said reaching to shake his hand and give him a man hug goodbye.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N Many gold stars to "obsessed Scott fan" Tracey450 for guessing the Scott tip in the last chapter. She correctly identified that it was the quote "Good things happen when you get your priorities straight." That's a Scott Caan quote. A gold star to Long Live BRUCAS who identified the theme of priorities and putting family first. She didn't identify the quote but she's a big enough Scott fan to know that's his approach to life. Honorable Mention to detectivejiju and caramiamy who each guessed that it was the reference to baseball (as they mentioned, Scott's an excellent baseball player (shortstop) and his dad wanted him to play pro ball instead of acting). But, Danny being a baseball player/coach is canon in H50 so it's not really a Scott thing anymore, it's a Danny thing.

A/N In case it's getting confusing, we are now entering the 4th night since Danny was stabbed.

H50 H50 H50

Steve said goodbye to his unresponsive partner and headed home. Eric settled into the recliner with a nervous sigh. He could do this. He was an adult now and the man in the bed had been there for him time and again and he would now return the favor. His uncle had a complaining manner and a sarcastic wit but had taught him so much about how to love and how actions were so much more important than words in expressing it.

As he watched his uncle's chest rise and fall, Eric thought back to seeing his own father dying in a hospital bed. It had been Danny who brought him there, holding his hand. Danny was just a young man himself, but he had convinced Eric's mom and grandparents and everybody that Eric needed to see his father before he died. Convinced them that they couldn't just allow his father to not come home to the young boy. While it was difficult to see his father like that, so still and frail, it had helped him to understand what was happening, helped him to understand why his father never came home again. It allowed him to say goodbye. For all of that Eric was truly grateful.

"Don't you dare give up on me," Eric said, voice choked not only from the memory but also from the sight before him. The second most important man in his life was now lying motionless in a hospital bed and Eric would not accept that he might be dying.

And the family. The Williams family was still reeling from Matt's death. He saw the effect it had on the health of his grandparents. He wasn't sure they could handle losing Danny too. In fact, he knew they couldn't. Everyone leaned on him. Everyone relied on him. Him being 5000 miles away was difficult enough but at least they could talk to him on the phone or video chat, text or email him, and he could come home once in a while. He knew his own mother called her brother all the time for advice, support, anything and everything. They'd all be lost without Danny.

 _Danny saw Matt heading towards the plane. He couldn't let him leave._

"Matty! Matthew Williams!" Danny's voice was weak but firm, startling Eric out of his thoughts.

"Uncle D, Uncle Matt's not here."

"Yes he is. He's still here and I have to stop him. Matty, you gotta trust me. I'll help you through this. Every step of the way."

"Uncle D…"

" _I can't go to jail, Danny. I'm not as strong as you."_

"I'm not strong Matty."

"Yes you are Uncle D. You are strong. You can fight this. You're going to be okay," Eric said, afraid of what his uncle's comment implied and trying to encourage him to hang on.

 _Again, Danny saw his little brother heading towards the plane._

"Matty, don't go. Don't get on that plane. I'll help you. I promise."

Eric had no idea what to say. How could he say it was going to be okay? Matt was dead. He began to panic, wishing he hadn't insisted on staying. Certainly Steve would handle this better.

"Matty, please!" Danny begged.

Eric stood and moved to Danny's bedside, taking his hand in his. It felt awkward at first. It had been years since Danny had last held his hand. Eric was a kid then and Danny was his hero. He took a deep breath. He could do this.

"I'm right here," he said tentatively, squeezing Danny's hand.

"Matty?"

"You're going to be okay, Uncle D. Uncle Matt was right, you are strong. You can fight this."

 _Danny's heart was pounding as the men rolled the barrel in from the other room. Matty? In the barrel? No! It can't be._

"Matty?"

 _Danny was opening the barrel now, hands shaking. Steve trying to get him to stop. Reyes dead at his feet with a hole between his eyes. He pulled the lid off._

"Oh my God! No!" Danny was shouting now, voice hoarse and shaky.

"It's okay," Eric assured him, holding his left hand tight. He placed his other hand on Danny's chest. Danny's heart was racing. Eric glanced at the monitor. Steve had told him about the blood pressure and pulse readings. Fortunately, neither one was high enough to set the alarm off yet.

"It's not okay. He's all in pieces. His head. His leg. Oh my God! Oh God no!"

Eric couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew that his Uncle Matt had been killed, knew that Danny had brought him home, but he hadn't heard anything about him being in pieces. He was sure that was a burden that his Uncle Danny had kept to himself - always the protector.

Tears welling up in his eyes, bile niggling at this throat, Eric struggled to pull himself together. Hearing this was awful, but it was obvious that his uncle was seeing this in vivid detail right now. Who knows how many times he had seen it? Probably every time he closed his eyes.

"Oh Matty, no. I'm so sorry," Danny moaned.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Eric assured him.

"I failed you Matty. I failed you."

"No. No you didn't. You brought him home, Uncle D. You brought Uncle Matt home."

"Reyes. Reyes killed him." Danny's voice was angry now, bitter.

"It's over now, Uncle D. It's over."

"It's not over. He killed my brother and he's going to pay." Danny's voice was loud and full of venom. It chilled Eric to the bone.

As much as he always wanted to know what really happened in Colombia, Eric was absolutely sure that he didn't want to be hearing this. He knew his uncle had been extradited to Colombia for murder but had then been exonerated. He had always wanted to know more. Now he didn't.

 _Danny was back in that basement. His brother in pieces in a barrel. Reyes standing before him smirking in victory. Now Danny had a gun in his hand. He pointed it at Reyes. The smirk was gone._

"Look at me, Reyes. Look at me. Look – at – me." Danny's voice was cold, chilling. Nothing Eric had ever heard before, not from anybody.

"Uncle D, it's okay." Emotionally overwhelmed by all he had heard, Eric wasn't sure what to make of it all, what to think about what his uncle seemed to have done. "He won't hurt anybody ever again."

"That's right." Tears slipped down his cheeks now, as he clung to Eric's hand. "I have to live with what I did."

After the hallucination about Matty, Eric was exhausted and emotionally drained. Fortunately, Danny slept better than the night before, not great, but better. He still had attacks of nerve pain that left him reeling and there were some more hallucinations and strange conversations but not too many. Mostly Danny was quiet and still.

Having finally settled himself, Eric was resting in the recliner when the doctor made his morning rounds, asking Eric to leave the room while he examined his patient. When he finished his exam, the doctor approached Eric in the hallway and asked if Steve would be coming in this morning. Eric told him that Steve was going to work today and that somebody else would be coming to sit with Danny. The doctor thanked him and left.

About a half hour later, Lou came in, ready to take a turn sitting with their injured and ill teammate. Eric told him about how the night had gone, briefly mentioned the hallucination about Matty without sharing any of the more vivid and chilling details. Eric didn't know who knew what about what had happened in Colombia, besides Steve, so he wasn't going to say anything.

Eric hadn't been gone long when Steve rushed in. "How is he?"

"He's the same from what Eric said. Slept pretty well compared to how you said he was the night before. Had one of them hallucinations about his brother though." Lou said.

Steve scrubbed his hand over his mouth and shook his head. "Damn. How'd Eric take it?"

Lou knew that Matt was Danny's little brother, but it actually hadn't occurred to him until this moment that it made Matt Eric's uncle as well. "Seemed okay about it. That must have been tough on him."

"Tough on them both," Steve said.

"No offense or anything, Steve," Lou said. "But why are you here? I told you I'd call you with an update when I got here."

"The doctor called," Steve said worriedly. "Said he needed to speak to me." He scrubbed his hands over his face in his nervous gesture as he looked at Danny. "What now, Lou? What could be going wrong now?"

"I don't know man. Maybe's it's nothing."

"He wouldn't call me down here for nothing," Steve said angrily, fear getting the best of him before he collected himself. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. Opening his eyes he looked at his partner in the bed. He spoke much softer now. "He's been through so much Lou."

"Yeah, he has," Lou agreed. For a moment, he felt maybe he should touch Steve somehow – hug him or squeeze his neck or something. But he didn't. When Danny did that it seemed normal, natural. For him it wasn't. He just stood there next to him watching Danny sleep.

Lou stayed with Danny while Steve consulted with the doctor. Steve came back with a grim look on his face and carrying a set of papers. Lou didn't like the look of it.

"They're afraid the antibiotics aren't working well enough. The wound may need to be surgically cleaned to remove infected and dead tissue," Steve explained.

"Can he handle another surgery right now?" Lou asked, concerned.

"They're not sure," was Steve's blunt and startling reply.

"But, if they're right about the infection and they don't do the surgery?"

"It could spread to his blood stream." They both knew that was bad, really bad.

"Damn."

"Yeah, the wrong decision could kill him," Steve said, waving the papers in the air. His signature would seal the decision since Danny wasn't aware enough to make the call. This was much tougher than the decision about the pain medicine, much more critical.

They stood there silently for a while, watching the rise and fall of Danny's chest, listening to the still-too-fast heartbeat as it beeped on the monitor.

"This could be a life and death decision for him," Steve said. "How do I do that?"

"The way I see it, you and Danny do that for each other every time you go out in the field. How do you do it then?" Lou prompted.

Steve nodded. Lou had a very valid point. As partners, they constantly had the other one's life in their hands. "I look him in the eye and go with my gut."

Lou held his hand out towards Danny, palm up, silently saying "there he is; go for it." Then he turned and walked out of the room, allowing him privacy to think.

Steve drew another deep breath and approached Danny's bed. His partner was still lying propped up on his side. He sat in the chair facing him. "Hey partner." Getting no response, he continued speaking. "I don't know what to do here, pal. Toughest choice of my life. I've been wishing for the past four days that I could do something to help you and now I can and I don't know what's the right choice."

He wasn't expecting any sort of coherent answer from Danny. The doctor had tried that and he was just too out of it, but Steve was just hoping for Danny to open his eyes and acknowledge his presence. Somehow he felt that would be enough. He shook his shoulder slightly. "Come on, D. I know you can hear me."

"Eric?" came the soft mumbled reply, his eyes still closed.

Steve quickly realized that was an understandable response. Eric had been here all night and was the last one Danny had spoken to. On top of that, Steve had used the nickname D, similar to Eric's tag of Uncle D. He'd try something more personal. "No. It's me Danno."

"Steve." It wasn't a question. He knew. A moment of clarity. He struggled to open his eyes and locked gazes with his friend for just a brief moment before his eyes slipped shut again.

It was all Steve needed. Look him in the eye and go with his gut.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N I do not own any of the characters

A/N This is the fifth day after Danny was stabbed.

A/N Thanks to the guest reviewers who I can't thank in a PM. To the one who asked about Scott's back injury, (which I think I mentioned in Who's Your Daddy, not here) I heard him say in an interview that when he was much younger, he was with friends when this big guy who was high on something started messing with them. They ended up in a scuffle and the big guy kicked Scott in the chest and sent him backwards into a metal railing, chipping his spine. With a grin, Scott said that he got the last laugh on the guy later. Gotta love him.

H50 H50 H50

"I signed the papers to do the surgery," Steve told Lou outside the door a few minutes later. "Doctor said it would be this afternoon. I have a meeting with the Governor in an hour and I have to sign off on all the paperwork you guys completed yesterday." As first and second in command, either Steve or Danny had to sign off on all the paperwork. With Danny sidelined, that left Steve. He stopped and blew out a breath. "I have to let everybody know about the surgery, too and…"

"Steve? Steve! Hey you're not alone, man. The paperwork is fine. Danny reviewed it, remember? Now, you contact his New Jersey family and we'll handle the ohana here."

"Melissa and Rachel?"

"We'll handle it," Lou assured him. "And I'll send Uncle Steve's love to the kids," he added with a soft smile that helped Steve relax a notch. "Now go."

"Thanks Lou." Steve turned and took a look at Danny. Please don't die Danny, he thought.

"As soon as I finish the calls, I'll stay by his side until they take him to surgery," Lou promised.

When Steve left, Lou took a few minutes to check on Danny. He spoke to him a bit, encouraging him to wake up and talk but he didn't even stir. So, Lou left the room and went to the sitting room down the hall to make some calls, after first asking the nurses to come and get him if Danny awoke.

His first call went to Chin and Kono so that they knew what was going on before Steve arrived, sparing Steve from the burden of having to explain everything to them. The two of them agreed to relay the disappointing information to Eric, Max, and the rest of the ohana. They'd draw straws to see who had to call Rachel. Knowing that the team was handling everything else, Lou made one more call.

"Hi Melissa, it's Lou."

Melissa was in tears when she heard the news. She knew Danny wasn't doing well. She had been there to see him both days and had also received updates from Steve. This latest setback, though, was unexpected and very upsetting. After pulling herself together she spoke again. "Lou, is Danny awake now? May I speak with him?"

"I'm sorry Melissa. He still hasn't awakened."

"Well, then who decided to go ahead with this surgery?"

"Steve has his medical proxy."

"Oh."

"Melissa, Steve took this responsibility very seriously. It was a difficult choice. We can't second guess him."

"No, no. I'm not. I just, uh, I just hadn't thought of it before."

"Okay, well, I should be getting back to Danny," Lou said. "I'll see you later then?"

"Yes, I'll be there. Oh wait. I'm supposed to pick Grace up from school. It's Danny's day so I was going to spend it with her even if I couldn't bring her to the hospital. But if the surgery runs late…"

"If it runs late we'll either ask Rachel to get her or one of us will go. You won't have to leave him," Lou assured her before they said their goodbyes.

Around noon, Steve arrived at Danny's ICU bay just as they were preparing him for surgery. They only allowed one to remain in the room so Lou graciously bowed out.

"You should take this with you," one of the orderlies said, handing Lou the framed photo of Grace and Charlie. "In case he doesn't come back."

"What?" Steve and Lou said simultaneously, totally shocked by the statement.

One of the nurses realized the error. "I'm sorry. It's not the way it sounded. Hospital policy has us empty and clean the ICU bay when we send somebody down to surgery. He may be brought to a different room when he's out of recovery."

Flustered but satisfied with this explanation, Lou left with the photo and headed to get some lunch.

The nurses began speaking to Danny, telling him what they were about to do. He gave no reaction, verbal or otherwise and so they simply proceeded with their work. Steve watched as they removed Danny's hospital gown, covering him with a sheet, and then very carefully rolled him onto the gurney on his stomach, talking to him as they worked. Danny did not utter a word but did seem to rouse slightly as he was moved if the groans were any indication.

While Danny instinctively settled his left arm comfortably, a nurse began to move his right arm. Despite her care, Danny groaned in pain. She continued to reposition his arm, situating his right hand above his head.

Danny writhed in agony now, pain filled blue eyes springing open, his breathing harsh and heavy. The pain shooting through his back was unbearable. All he wanted to do was move his arm, pull it away from the torturous position he found it in. He tried, oh for the life of him he tried, but the abused muscles would simply not respond to his brain's pleading demand.

"Stop!" Steve shouted, just as the nurse was doing just that, also reacting to Danny's obvious pain.

She moved Danny's arm back down so his hand was next to his head rather than above it and he began to settle.

Steve moved to him at the same time. Danny was facing his left side so that's where Steve went, squatting down so Danny could see him. "Hey buddy. That really hurt, huh?"

Danny just looked at him with sweat dripping off his feverish brow. Steve wiped it away. The pain was still too fierce but it helped to have Steve there.

"You okay now?" Steve asked.

Danny blinked this time; the muscles in his back still flaring in pain so intense that he couldn't even speak.

Steve was relieved to see that Danny was more aware, although horrified that it meant he was more cognizant of the pain. It appeared that reducing the pain meds had done exactly what the doctor had predicted – but now another obstacle to overcome. "They're going to go take care of that infection in your back," Steve explained to Danny, not expecting that he'd understand but needing to say it anyway. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Danny looked so pale, so fragile to Steve. Despite his short height, Steve had never doubted Danny's strength, either of stature or character, since the moment when Danny, with a fresh bullet hole in his arm, slugged him the day they met. Now he found himself worried that Danny was no longer strong enough. He had been through so much already. Even the doctors weren't sure. Please don't die Danny, he thought desperately.

At that moment, on the gurney being rushed to surgery, there were only two things that Danny was aware of – the deep, unrelenting agony in his back and Steve's strong, unfailing presence in front of him. The second was the only thing that carried him through the first. He blinked again.

"Hang in there, Danno. I'm not going anywhere," Steve said as the gurney bearing his brother rolled away.

Long minutes after Danny disappeared behind the elevator doors, Steve made his way to the surgical waiting room. He took a seat, answered a text and an email, looked at his watch and then stood up again. He walked to the other side of the room, turned and came back. Sitting down again, he tried to remember if he had eaten lunch. He knew he had not eaten breakfast. He had headed out of the house and to the hospital as quickly as possible after receiving the message the doctor left while he was out for his morning swim.

As if they had read his mind, Chin, Kono and Abby came in carrying a bag of food. Not taking no for an answer, Kono dragged him down the hall to the lounge where eating was allowed, and dropped the bag on the table in front of him. "Eat," she ordered with a smile.

Steve looked at the bag and laughed, causing Kono to wonder for a moment if he had totally lost it.

"What?" she asked.

"Eat here and get fat." He was still chuckling.

"Fat? I brought you a salad."

Steve showed her the bag as he took the salad out. "Polunu's. The other night Danny was telling me about Chin bringing him lunch from there. He said it's a lousy name for a restaurant." He was smiling and shaking his head.

"What's he talking about?"

"Polunu, it means chubby. Danny says that's a dumb name for a restaurant. Eat here and get fat, he said. Not a message you want to send your customers."

Kono laughed with him now. "He's got a point."

"Danny always has a point."

Steve dug into his salad, sure now that he had not eaten breakfast or lunch that day. Halfway through, though, his appetite abandoned him. His need for sustenance fulfilled, his body did not allow him to enjoy another bite. He put the fork down with a sigh.

"Is he going to be okay, Steve? He's going to get through this, right? He's strong enough for this surgery," Kono asked as they cleaned up.

"He's a tough guy from Jersey, Kono. He's going to be fine," he answered as he pulled her into a strong hug. Please don't die Danny, he thought.

When Steve and Kono stepped back into the surgical waiting room, Lou and Eric were there with Chin and Abby. Lou was still holding the framed photo of Grace and Charlie. Eric was a few seats away from the others, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor, looking completely lost. Steve was struck, once again, with how young Eric looked.

He looked at the others and nodded towards Danny's nephew. They shrugged and shook their heads. He hadn't spoken to any of them – very uncharacteristic of a member of the Williams family.

Steve sat down next to him and gripped the back of Eric's neck. "How you doing E-train?"

Eric simply shrugged.

"That recliner in your uncle's room was pretty comfortable, huh?

"Yeah."

"You get enough sleep last night?"

"Yeah."

"How'd your uncle do?"

"Well, he's in surgery now so you tell me."

"Eric look at me. Look at me," Steve demanded. When Eric complied, Steve went on. "What's happening now has nothing to do with you. Knife wounds are notorious for causing infections and his wound was big and deep and open for a long time. He wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you that day so don't do this to yourself now." Please don't die Danny, he thought.

Eric bit back a sob and nodded his head.

"So tell me about last night," Steve said.

"He uh, he kept calling for you."

"I'm sorry. I should have been here."

"No, I don't mean like that. Not like he was looking for you to be here. It was like one of those hallucination things. Said something about Afghanistan and Korea. Kept calling you a moron and complaining that you never listen to him."

Steve nodded in understanding and tried to keep his reaction light. "Sounds like Danny."

Eric, however, was somber. "Steve, whatever he was remembering, he was seriously worried about you, scared for you. I had to hold him down in the bed at one point to keep him from going to find you." Seeing Steve's wide-eyed reaction, Eric went on. "And you know he's barely moved in days because it hurts so much."

Steve nodded and took a deep breath to choke back his emotions but his voice betrayed him. "He's a good friend, Eric. The best I've ever had." Please don't die Danny, he thought.

Eric nodded, unsure of how to reply to that.

"Otherwise he slept pretty well?" Steve then asked.

"He woke up a few times talking about different things but not too much. He said he saw green people," Eric said with a soft laugh. Lightening the mood a bit.

"You mean like 'little green men'?"

"Not just men," Eric said with a snort, feeling a little better already. "He said there was a bunch of them and they were well, you know, 'doing it' over by the window, so there must have been females too."

"Danny was seeing little green people having an orgy on his window sill?" Steve was left utterly speechless, once again not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Please don't die Danny, he thought.

"Hey, don't ask me. I'm just the nephew."

Eric turned now and looked at the others to see if anybody else was listening. When he saw that nobody was he turned back to Steve. "He was talking about Uncle Matt, too." He paused again and looked down at the floor. "Said he was in pieces?" Last night Eric didn't want to know, but he couldn't stop thinking about it all morning. It wasn't worded like a question, but it was a question nonetheless.

Steve blew out a breath, not knowing what to do with this one. "That's really your uncle's story to tell," Steve said. It was a cop out and he knew it.

"You expect me to ask him?" Eric whispered, angrily. "Tell him he was delirious and was rambling about his brother being cut up in pieces and that he killed the s.o.b. who did it? You expect me to do that? Huh? You tell me when's a good time for that and I'll mark it on my calendar." With that, Eric rose quickly from his seat and headed out the door.

Steve just sat there, stunned.

Seeing Eric flee the room, Chin hustled out behind him. "Eric! Hey, wait up, brah." Eric was a brash young man who had yet to grasp the finer points of respect and responsibility but he was Danny's nephew and that made him ohana. He was also a darn good crime tech. Brains ran in the family it seemed.

Eric quickly ran out of steam. He wasn't going to go anywhere. The only place he wanted to be was right here awaiting news of his uncle. He stopped in the hallway, arms crossed in front of him.

Chin moved in front of Eric. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah sure. I'm fine. It's Uncle D we have to worry about, right?" His arms were still crossed in front of his chest and his eyes looked everywhere but at Chin.

"We're all worried, Eric." Chin didn't know what had happened but it was obvious that something Steve said had set Eric off.

"He doesn't look worried," Eric replied, speaking about Steve.

It was true, Chin thought. Out of everybody in the room, Steve looked the most pulled together. It was odd, actually, given how close he was with Danny.

"Give me a minute with him, huh Chin?" Steve came up behind Eric and spoke as he moved around him. Chin nodded and went back in the waiting room.

"Got that date picked out?" Eric asked, chin jutting out in defiance.

Steve shook his head and smirked. "You are so much like your uncle sometimes."

"That a problem?" Eric uncrossed his arms and pulled up to his full height.

"Relax Eric. It's a good thing. He's like my brother."

"His brother is dead," Eric spat out with a challenge. Which brought them back to the subject of their controversy.

"Yeah," Steve agreed, "and it nearly crushed him."

"They were really close, you know." Eric's bluster was gone. He now looked like a very young man trying to hold himself together.

Steve nodded. He knew that. "Look Eric…" He paused, unsure how to proceed.

Eric spoke up then, his voice choked with emotion. "Just answer me this; just yes or no. That's all I ask. What he said last night about Uncle Matt, that wasn't some crazy hallucination like the little green men f***in on his window sill, was it?"

Steve hesitated only a moment, his voice even and controlled when he answered. "No. No it wasn't."

Eric tried to choke back a sob and failed. Steve gripped the back of his neck again, lending him strength. "Thank you." Eric wasn't going to ask any more questions. He knew enough now, more than enough actually. What his uncle had apparently done when he discovered his beloved brother cut up in pieces, well, Eric wasn't quite sure what he thought about that; but then decided that he didn't need to think about it. He loved his uncle and nothing would change that.

"He didn't want you to know. Didn't want anybody to know," Steve said, his voice now thick with emotion, both for his friend and for his friend's nephew.

Eric pulled himself together before responding. "I know. He kept the whole burden on himself. Don't worry, I won't tell anybody. What about them?" He indicated the team still inside the waiting room.

"Max did the autopsy. Only Danny and I saw the results. Danny may have spoken to Chin about it. I'm not sure."

Eric pulled the subject back to their reason for being there right now. "You think he's going to get through this okay? He's so weak."

Steve nodded his head. "Even as ill as he is, he's the strongest man I know," he said. They moved back into the waiting room. Please don't die Danny, he thought.

Moments later Melissa came hurrying in, looking pale and worried. "Steve," she sobbed, rushing into his strong embrace. "Please tell me he's going to be okay."

"Of course he is, Melissa. You'll be back in his arms in no time," Steve said with a confident voice as he held her. Please don't die Danny, he thought. Please, please don't die.

And so the team waited, Melissa and Eric with them. Max, Kamekona and others checking in by phone and eliciting promises to be updated. Steve remained their rock of confidence. All the while they waited, he voiced his belief that Danny was strong, that Danny could handle this, that Danny would be fine. In his heart he continued his silent plea - please don't die.

Hours later, Steve was up and stretching his legs when the doctor came in so they met face to face by the door. The doctor knew that he was the one with Danny's medical proxy so he spoke directly to him. Please don't say he's dead, Steve thought, please don't say Danny's dead.

Steve heard the doctor's first words and then there was a loud roaring in his ears as the room began to tilt and the floor raced up to greet him.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N This is shorter than my usual chapters but I figured I owed you a quick post after that cliffhanger ending and after last night's ep. Ugh. I really enjoyed the eye candy at the beach (which they only included so they could put it in last week's trailer). Other than that I think the best part was Danny/Scott combing his hair. Loved it! Won't say more here in case people haven't seen it. I'll chat in a message though if anybody wants to.

A/N I think I had a tip of the hat to Scott in the last chapter but I'm not completely sure. Someone told me that there's a gag scene where Scott is cracking Alex up with a story about little green men "doing it". I couldn't find the scene online so I'm not really sure about it. Anybody know?

H50 H50 H50

It all happened so quickly. Everyone saw the doctor approach Steve and begin to speak. Then Steve swayed.

Chin and Lou were at Steve's side in seconds, grabbing him by the arms and leading him back to sit in a chair so he wouldn't fall to the floor. The doctor gently pushed Steve's head down between his knees.

At the same time, Melissa screamed. "Danny! No! No! Danny!" Kono was right there and pulled her into a hug as they stood together and cried.

Eric jumped from his chair and stood dumbfounded. Feeling a bit out of place, but seeing Danny's young nephew by himself, Abby stood next to him silently, not wanting him to be alone at a time like this.

Danny was alive! Steve had seen black dots before his eyes; his vision had gone gray. He had felt himself swaying, the room lurching and then had felt himself being pushed into a chair, his head between his legs. He was trembling, his breathing fast and ragged, his head spinning.

"He's okay," the doctor said, hurriedly, realizing quickly that everybody had the wrong idea. "Danny's okay."

"What happened?" Chin asked, referring to Steve.

"He fainted. I said 'He made it through surgery.' That's all I got out."

"He's alive? Danny's alive?" Kono asked.

"Yes," the doctor assured them.

Melissa gasped. Shaking, she sunk into a chair.

Chin was sitting next to Steve now, his hand on the back of his neck. He could feel him trembling, hear him sobbing. "Steve, hey, he's alive."

Steve nodded, managed to say "Yeah," but he was still crying.

"It's okay, brah. Let it out." Chin now realized what had happened. Steve had been so strong, holding everybody up with encouraging words and positive thoughts yet all the while he'd been terrified of losing Danny, terrified that his choice of doing the surgery now rather than waiting until he was stronger might have been wrong. "You were right man. Danny's strong. He made it through the surgery. You were right."

Having stepped away, Lou reappeared now with a cup of water in one hand and a wad of tissues in the other. "Here ya go Steve."

Head in his hands, Steve pulled himself together before raising his head to accept Lou's offerings. Grabbing the tissues the room spun again and he dipped his head back down to regain some equilibrium. Hauling in a deep cleansing breath, he wiped his eyes and blew his nose and breathed deeply again before trying once more to raise his head.

"What the hell was that?" Eric said, finally finding his voice. "Scared the crap out of me."

"You're not the only one," Lou assured him as he handed the now upright Steve the cup of water.

Steve sipped the water. "Sorry," he said to everyone in general. "You were saying?" he said to the doctor as he tried to rise from the chair.

Chin pushed him back down. "Just stay right there. Take it easy."

As everyone circled around, the doctor began again. "He made it through surgery. We had a scare when his blood pressure suddenly plummeted but we were able to stabilize him enough to continue. There was quite a bit of infected tissue and muscle that needed to be removed. We had to remove infection from all three layers of muscle so breathing and movement will continue to be affected. After debriding, we rinsed the wound with saline then we packed it with sterile saline soaked dressing. The packing will be changed regularly. We will not be suturing the wound again until we are sure it's clear of all infection."

"Sounds like it hurts," Abby observed.

The doctor nodded. "It's not the most comfortable of situations especially with reduced pain medication, but it's necessary." Understatement was a hallmark of being a doctor.

"How long will it remain open?" Lou asked.

"Until there's no more sign of infection. Could be days, could be weeks."

"But he's going to make it?" Steve asked, voice still a bit shaky.

The doctor nodded. "Guardedly optimistic. His temperature has remained above 103F for over 48 hours now. If that comes down it will be a very good sign. The next 24 hours will be crucial. He's a fighter, that's for sure. For what it's worth, Steve, you made the right call. He still has a battle ahead of him but from what I saw when we opened him up, it was a good thing that we didn't wait."

Relieved smiles filled the faces in the room.

"He's being settled in recovery as we speak," the doctor went on. "One person can sit with him at a time there. After he awakes we will assess whether he needs ICU again or if a regular room will suffice."

"I'm voting for a regular room," Eric said with a small laugh.

"I'll keep that under advisement," the doctor returned with a smile. "You okay now?" he asked Steve.

"Yeah. Sorry about that," Steve answered, embarrassment apparent.

"Patients with people who care about them make the best recoveries," the doctor assured him before leaving.

"It's all good, Steve. You've been with my uncle every step of the way through this. It's been hard on you, but thank you." Eric added his own assurance to his uncle's best friend. "I'm glad I'm not alone here." Being the only blood relative, that wouldn't be a far-fetched possibility for some people. "All of you, really. Thanks for being here for my uncle."

"Somebody has to keep an eye on you haole's," Kono joked.

Eric smiled. "Yeah, hey, I should get back to work now that I know he's okay. If you don't mind, I'd like to just peak in on him and see for myself before I go though."

Everyone agreed and he left.

"Melissa, do you want to stay with Danny?" Steve offered.

Melissa looked at her watch. "I'm supposed to pick up Grace from school soon but I could sit with him until then."

"I told you before, one of us can get her," Lou reminded her.

"She's expecting me," Melissa said. "I don't want to scare her by having someone else show up."

"I've picked her up many times," Steve said, "and I can tell her what went on today."

"I know you mean well, but I still think it's best if I go. I'll have her call you though," Melissa said. "I'll sit with Danny until then. If you don't mind."

"No. No. That's fine," Steve said.

"Give Gracie a hug for me," Kono added before Melissa left.

"It's great how she's taking such good care of Grace," Chin said. "I'm sure Danny will miss her here, though."

"I'm not quite as pretty as Melissa, but I'll stay with him," Lou said.

"You've been here all day so far," Kono said. "I can stay."

"I'd be happy to stay as well," Chin said.

"No," Steve said. "I have to be here when he wakes up. With the pain meds lowered and that surgery he just went through, he's going to be in a world of hurt. I have to be here."

"This isn't some kind of penance, is it?" Lou asked, knowing Steve felt some guilt about having to make the hard choices he did.

"No, just what a brother would do," Steve replied, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Danny had called him that. Steve had to uphold his end of the bargain.

"Fair enough then. Take care of our boy," Lou said, handing the framed photo of Danny's kids to Steve for safekeeping. "I'll head back to the office and get some work done. You coming?" he then said to the rest of the team.

"I am," Abby replied. "Give him my best," she said to Steve.

"Why don't you go?" Kono said to Chin. "I'd like to see Danny for a few minutes before I head out."

Steve smiled, knowing what Kono was doing. "I don't need a babysitter Kono. I'm fine."

"Of course you are boss. I'm just trying to get out of having to work. But, shhh, don't tell other boss," she said with her infectious smile as she sat down in the seat next to Steve. "He'd be disappointed in me."

Steve shook his head. "Danny could never be disappointed in you Kono." He knew she was just joking but he felt the need to say it anyway.

"Tell Danny I'll talk to him later," Chin said.

"Oh, I bet he'll love to hear about his partner fainting," Lou joked as the three of them headed out.

"I did not faint," Steve protested but they waved him off, a little too reminiscent of Danny in their joking.

"You scared me before," Kono confessed when they had gone.

"Danny scared me first," Steve said in defense.

While Melissa sat with Danny, the rest of the team began a new round of phone calls updating Danny's loved ones about the success of the surgery. They divided up the duty; Chin getting the short straw this time so he had to call Rachel.

Steve made the call to Danny's parents. The phone was answered on the first ring. They'd obviously been anxiously awaiting this call. Tears of relief followed Steve's pronouncement of the success of the surgery, tempered only by the warning that Danny's condition was still critical. "Thank you so much for all you are doing for him. Eric is too young to handle it and with us not being there, well, we really appreciate it."

"Of course," Steve replied. "It's an honor, really. He's like my brother." He caught his mistake just as Kono's startled eyes darted to his, just as Danny's mother let out a gasp and a sob.

Matt should be here for Danny. Matt would have been here for Danny if he had been smarter and stronger. If he had stayed out of trouble or had allowed Danny to help him once he got into it. Matty would have been by Danny's bedside all day and all night. They all knew that.

Eddie Williams then showed where Danny's emotional fortitude came from, a resilience handed down from father to eldest son, if not to the youngest. As often happened with his son though, his voice betrayed the deep emotion behind the words. His courage belied his heartache. "I know that, son."


	23. Chapter 23

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N Still 5th day since the attack.

H50 H50 H50

Danny was aware of one thing – pain in his back. It had other names and he was aware of them as well - discomfort, aching, hurting, stinging, soreness, tenderness. Yep, his back was sensitive, uncomfortable, and downright raw. He was in agony.

Well, actually, now that he thought about it, he was aware of more than that because he was also aware of pain in his head - throbbing, pounding, thumping and hammering pain. More agony.

That was if he didn't move, which included taking a breath. But not breathing presented problems of it's own so that wasn't going to work.

So, he allowed himself to breathe, albeit as minimally as possible. That kept the combined level of pain to somewhere just past excruciating agony. Apparently, he'd have to live with that.

But, as Danny became more awake he became aware of something else. He was in the hospital, in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV. He knew that because the back of his hand hurt – not like his back or his head, but it hurt just a little.

This led to another awareness. If he woke up and groaned, a nurse would come and ask if he was in pain. He would say yes - even though speaking would bring more agony than breathing did - but it would be for a good cause. Then the kind nurse would go page a doctor who would eventually answer the page and come ask Danny if he was in pain. Danny would again answer yes – for the same good cause. Then the doctor would tell the nurse to administer more pain medicine. Then the nurse would contact the pharmacy department… Crap. That would be an eternity. He needed relief now.

This led to yet another awareness, one a bit more useful than that one. If Danny opened his eyes and looked around he would find his pain pump. He had one earlier. Whenever earlier was. He wasn't sure. He didn't care. He'd open his eyes, spot the pain pump, and move his hand to reach it. That would have to be the left hand. One more thing he was aware of. He couldn't move his right hand because there was a hole punched through the muscles and nerves in his back that connected his brain to his arm. Damn it all. So it had to be his left.

Here goes nothing. He opened his eyes.

Danny found another thing to be aware of. Opening his eyes made his head hurt worse - much worse, in fact. He squeezed them shut again. But he was still in excruciating agony. Price he had to pay he figured and forced them open just a bit against the harsh light. The room was blurry and was spinning clockwise. Danny moved his eyes to the bed to look for the pain pump. The bed was spinning counter clockwise.

He couldn't find the pain pump. Damn!

He closed his eyes again because he was now aware that the room spinning clockwise and the bed spinning counter clockwise made him nauseous - but not like the queasiness he felt while riding in the car with Steve driving. This, he had to admit, was way beyond that. He swallowed hard, forcing back the nausea.

But, he needed that pain pump, needed the blessed relief it would provide. Man up, Williams. He opened them again, tried to ignore the spinning. It reminded him of a toy top that he had as a very little kid. It was blue and yellow and … . Finding that memory useless he tossed it aside into the room that was spinning clockwise and focused again on the bed that was spinning counter clockwise and the pain pump that remained stubbornly elusive.

He slowly became aware that if he was going to find the pain pump, which was the solution to his excruciating agony, he was going to have to move. Not just move his hand - his left hand because that was the only one he could move - he was going to have to move himself, because he was now aware that the pain pump had to be underneath him.

So, the only solution to his excruciating agony was to cause himself inordinate, copious, immeasurable and unimaginable excruciating agony first. How was this his life? This was never his life before – before what? He still couldn't even remember before.

He shifted just a tiny, itty little bit. The pain was so fierce he couldn't even gasp or groan. The pain was so fierce he could scarcely breathe. The only thing he was aware of now were the warm, salty tears slowly making their way out of his eyes, the ones from his right eye were flowing over his nose, joining the ones from his left eye to roll across his cheekbone and into his left ear. His left ear because he was on his left side because some psycho maniac had plunged a two-foot butcher knife into his back near his right shoulder. Yeah, he was aware of that as well.

He closed his eyes. He was now fully aware that there was nothing else he could do but lie here in something beyond excruciating agony in a bed that was spinning counter clockwise in a room spinning clockwise on top of an elusive pain pump and let the tears roll into his left ear. Maybe somebody would find him and put him out of his misery.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N Thank you so incredibly much to all who have followed and favorited this story and me as an author. It's truly humbling. Reviewers, I try to reply to each review before I post the next chapter, but if I have missed yours somehow or if you have reviewed as a guest, please accept my thanks and appreciation for your taking the time to review. Again, it's humbling and reviews help me know what H50 fans like to read.

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N Still 5th day since the attack.

H50 H50 H50

"Danny?" Kono thought she had heard Danny move. Thought maybe he had opened his eyes. She had been texting Adam with an update, telling him she would probably be home in time for dinner, although she didn't feel much like eating.

Danny heard a voice. He knew it came from somewhere in the room that was spinning clockwise, or was it counter clockwise? He wasn't sure anymore but he was damn sure that he didn't want to open his eyes to find out. Danny groaned, a soft pitiful groan.

Kono thought she heard him say something but she wasn't sure. He was so still, his chest barely moving as he breathed with the aid of the nasal cannula. "Danny?"

Danny heard the voice again. Knew now to whom it belonged. "Kono." He spoke softly because speaking hurt.

"Yeah, other boss, it's me." Kono's voice was filled with happy tears even though Danny still hadn't moved a muscle other than to speak. He was awake and coherent enough to recognize her voice. That was an improvement they'd been waiting for.

"Pain pump," Danny ground out, eyes still closed, body still remarkably unmoving.

"You don't have one," Kono told him softly, apologetically. It struck her that 'Grace' was not the first word out of his mouth.

Danny didn't say a word. His only reaction was a single tear that slipped out of his eye and across his nose before Kono wiped it away.

She took his left hand in hers, mindful of the IV stuck in the back of it. "You're in a lot of pain."

She felt him squeeze her hand once. She knew that meant yes. She heard him take in a short, quick breath.

"You had a pain pump before."

She felt him squeeze again. Heard another breath.

"And you had regular IV pain meds too."

Another squeeze. Another breath. He squeezed her hand again, harder. Get to the point. Why was he in so much pain? He had never felt anything like this in his life.

Kono wished Steve was here so he could explain. Thought maybe she could go get him. Realized she couldn't let go of Danny's hand right now, not for anything. "You were having a bad reaction to the pain meds. Your blood pressure and pulse were sky high. You were getting uh really confused." She didn't want to say hallucinating. She swallowed hard. This was the toughest part. "They uh… well, they had to reduce your pain meds."

"Morons," Danny mumbled angrily, eyes still closed, body unmoving. "No right. Ask me."

Kono saw the toll it took on him just to say that much. It was all he could get out but she understood. He was obviously coherent now so something had worked.

He knew he hadn't agreed to it. She couldn't tell him that Steve had made the decision. She couldn't do that to Steve. She wanted to cry but she squeezed Danny's hand instead. "I know you're in serious pain, brah. I'm sorry about that. Just squeeze my hand if you need to. I can take it."

"Steve," he whispered, barely audible.

"Steve's in the waiting room. Only one visitor is allowed in here at a time. I'll go get him."

Danny squeezed her hand tight, not letting her leave. "SuperSEAL Neanderthal moron. Wants to kill me. Gotta get him first." A tiny little smile crossed his lips.

Well, Kono thought, Danny was most definitely lucid again, back to his sarcastic, kick-butt, pull no punches, Clue-winning without even writing down notes ways. That quickly he had ascertained that Steve had used his medical proxy to make the decision for him. And just that quickly she felt his hand go lax in hers. He was out again.

"Danny? Danny?" Kono rested Danny's hand back on his bed and sat back in the chair. Just watching him struggle with the pain had wore her out. She was hoping they could do something more to help him. This newest surgery would increase his pain level to new heights. They had to do something.

A short while later, Steve popped his head through the curtain, more than ready to take his turn sitting with their friend. Kono rose from the chair, adjusted Danny's blankets even though he hadn't moved a muscle so the blankets were fine, brushed her hand through Danny's hair, whispered "Don't blame Steve, he did what he thought was best," and then headed out through the curtain to where Steve was waiting.

"Grace called. She's with Melissa. I told her about the surgery and how he's doing. She's one tough girl, our Gracie." Steve told her, shaking his head in wonder.

"Wonder where she gets that from," Kono said with a laugh as she glanced back into Danny's recovery bay.

"How's he doing?"

"Brace yourself Bossman. Our wonder-detective is lucid and coherent - well when he's awake that is. He's in massive amounts of pain but he's already figured out that you used your medical proxy to cut his pain meds. Says you're trying to kill him. He's out for blood."

Steve gave her a soft smile. That was Danny all right. "He's in a lot of pain? Damn."

"Yeah but Steve, he's lucid and his blood pressure is better. That's important."

Steve simply nodded. That was true. Changing the pain medicine dosage was necessary. Didn't mean they would like the side effects.

"You okay?" Kono asked gently, changing her focus for the moment.

"I'm fine."

That's what she thought he'd say. "Steve, you fainted just a few hours ago."

"I did not faint."

"Then what do you call it?"

"I was just overcome with relief."

"It looked an awful lot like fainting to the rest of us."

"I'm fine," Steve insisted as he took a step towards the recovery bay, avoiding that subject any longer. "I'll call you when we know where they're moving him."

"Any chance I can convince you to go home and get some sleep tonight?"

Steve stopped walking but didn't turn around. "Not if it means he'll be alone. Not the way he's struggled the past two nights." Not when he called me his best friend, best partner and brother all rolled up into one, he added in his head.

"Chin said he would stay with him."

Steve turned now and looked at her a moment. He wanted to be with Danny, felt he had to but he knew he needed to take care of himself too. But he had slept well last night while Eric was here. On the other hand, Danny meant a lot to Chin, too. Might even be considered Chin's best friend. Who was he to deny him the right to help? He was Danny's best friend, best partner and brother he thought - that's who he was. That gave him the right. But it wasn't a contest. "We'll see," he finally said before heading into the recovery bay, not giving Kono a chance to argue.

Steve took a deep breath as he entered the recovery bay where his partner/friend/brother lie unconscious but in pain. He could see the pain lines on Danny's forehead. He could hear the labored breathing even with the nasal cannula. Laying his hand on Danny's arm he could feel the tension even as Danny slept. Finding no table to place it on, Steve tucked the framed photo of Grace and Charlie at the end of Danny's bed by his feet.

He sat there for a while, keeping watch over him, doing the job that Billy or Grace or Matt would have done if things were different, if Danny's life hadn't been so full of loss. Danny's loss had been his gain. It felt so wrong and yet so right.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N Huge congratulations to Scott Caan for earning his black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. The Belt System for BJJ is much stricter than in most martial arts and it takes a long time and a lot of work to even be considered for a black belt. There are also fewer belts (white, blue, purple, brown, and then black) than in other martial arts. Job well done Scott! (FYI, Alex O'Loughlin is a purple belt in BJJ).

A/N Still 5th day

H50 H50 H50

Not long after Kono left, Danny began to stir as the after effect of being under general anesthesia for the second time in a week was about to make Danny even more miserable than he had been before. Danny was barely conscious, barely able to breathe and yet the retching came fast and hard. Steve jumped to his feet and was by his side in an instant relieved that at least Danny was already propped on his side.

Steve placed his left hand on Danny's hip as he wiped Danny's sweat soaked brow with his right. "Easy Danny. Easy." Eyes opening in pained slits, Danny grabbed onto Steve's hand with a firm grip, clinging to him for strength and support. Danny was aware of what was going on, of that Steve was sure, mixed blessing after days of delirium.

A nurse rushed in and immediately administered an anti-emetic into one of Danny's IV lines. There was nothing else she could do after that but wait for it to take effect.

Danny continued to heave, but having not eaten anything in the past 24 hours there was nothing to bring up. That didn't make anything any easier for Danny - cleaner maybe, but not easier. Danny continued to dry-heave and groan in pain and gasp for air and grip Steve's hand with a passion.

Using the best "dad" voice he could muster from his memory of Danny's dealings with his kids, Steve soothed Danny the best he could as the retching ruthlessly continued unabated for a good ten minutes before the medicine the nurse had given him finally, mercifully kicked in.

Finally, the retching and writhing stopped, but the frantic struggle took a toll on Danny in more ways than one. The still open wound in his back began to bleed heavily again and his blood pressure dropped quickly. Pressure was applied to the wound to try and slow the bleeding, causing a prolonged groan from the barely conscious patient. Another bag of blood was added to his IV due to the bleeding wound and drop in blood pressure and soon Danny fell back into an exhausted but restless slumber.

With that scare over, Steve collapsed back into the chair and again sat there keeping vigil over Danny. Except for the bout of retching, this brother of his was far too silent and still and it began to unnerve him until finally he could sit still no longer. Not willing to leave his partner's side and with not enough room to pace, Steve eyed the small cubicle and mentally measured the space. It would work. Going down on one knee, he placed both hands flat on the floor in front of him, shoulder width apart, moved his feet back and began doing push-ups.

After the 27th push-up, a slight shift in the bed and a gasp for air drew his attention to Danny.

"Hey partner. How ya doing?" Steve asked as he popped quickly to his feet and hovered over the bed, relieved that Danny wasn't heaving again.

Danny struggled for a lung filling breath. The pain that sliced through his back with each attempt was mind-boggling. Breathing shouldn't be this difficult. He lifted his eyes to Steve's not even attempting to speak as he already knew the futility of that endeavor.

Steve looked into Danny's eyes and the sheer unadulterated panic he saw terrified him. It was so reminiscent of Danny's near-death experience with the Sarin nerve gas years before. He touched Danny's chest, immediately registering that it was barely moving with each breath. "Danny, hold on buddy. I'm going to get the doctor. Okay? Just hold on."

Steve dashed from the recovery bay and, moments later, was back with a very young man in a short white coat next to him. He was the Resident assigned to post-op recovery. He spoke directly to Danny. "You're having trouble breathing Mr. Williams?"

Body trembling with futile exertion, Danny managed a small, panicked nod in reply as he strained to pull in a breath. Pained and panicked blue eyes held Steve's worried gaze.

"It's Danny. He likes to be called Danny." Steve interjected. Except me and Gracie, he lets us call him Danno, Steve thought in his head.

The doctor nodded once as his attention remained on his patient.

Steve stood by Danny's side as the doctor checked the screen that monitored Danny's vitals. "Yes, your oxygen levels are low. Your chart requests no oxygen mask but it really would be the best thing for you right now." He leaned over to look his patient in the eye. The young doctor's calm composure and compassionate nature at such a young age were impressive to Steve. "Would that be okay with you Danny? If we put an oxygen mask on you?"

Still struggling, Danny looked Steve in the eye. Danny looked so frightened and alarmed that it was painful to witness. Steve could barely take it but he didn't break the hold.

"We can take a look at your pain meds and other options after that," the doctor added as he awaited a reply. "You won't need the mask long-term, Danny. Just until we can get your pain levels under control so you can breathe effectively."

Danny kept eye contact with Steve. Please help me breathe he begged silently with his panicked blue eyes, his lips beginning to tinge the same color.

Steve didn't need Danny to speak to know what he needed, but he gave him the courtesy of making the decision for himself. An oxygen mask could be disconcerting to anybody; it would be terrifying for someone who was claustrophobic. "That what you want Danny? You want the mask on?" Pain or panic, it was a helluva choice.

Hell no, Danny thought, but he had no choice. He was getting so little air in his lungs that he was seeing spots. He was trying to battle through the pain and pull in deeper breaths but it was impossible. "Yeah," he barely managed to puff out. But Steve didn't need to hear him; he could read it in his eyes. The fear Danny was now experiencing, the fear of death by asphyxiation, was greater than the fear of claustrophobia. It was a horrible thought for Steve but he tried not to dwell on it.

"Get the mask on him," Steve demanded of the Resident, a bit more harshly than he had intended.

The young doctor was immediately in motion and soon he was gently lifting Danny's head to slip the strap of the mask in place, eliciting a pained groan at the movement.

Danny sought out Steve's eyes again, seeking support as he battled the panic that the mask induced on top of the pain he was in.

The doctor stepped away from the bed now, allowing Steve to move back next to Danny. As the doctor observed the monitor and the rising oxygen level, Steve observed his partner and the new battle he was forced to wage. Just when they thought one problem was resolved another one came and took its place. The Danny Williams theory of life – expect the worst because it was going to happen anyway - was certainly holding true this week.

Danny hated the oxygen mask, hated having something over his face. It was terrifying, but not quite as terrifying as not being able to breathe properly. He had been through that before and didn't want to repeat that performance. So, he pulled his mind off the Sarin gas poisoning and instead, he let his mind go back to that time in the elevator with Mindy. He had started to freak out when he realized they were stuck. She had helped him calm down and stay in control. What had she said? She told him to look at her. Look her in the eyes. She wasn't there so he looked at Steve instead. Not nearly as appealing to look at as Mindy but he was a rock solid friend so he would do. So he maintained the eye contact he had with Steve, thankful that he was there, thankful that he was beginning to feel like the painful breaths were actually pulling in a little bit of air.

But the mask still scared him. What else had Mindy said? That it was just a glitch. He wondered vaguely if she'd say that his fear of the ocean was just a glitch too or would she say it was PTSD after watching his best friend drown or would she say he was just crazy or stupid or a coward like most people did?

What else had she told him? Oh yeah, control your breathing. Ha! That was a joke; he couldn't even breathe much less control it. That's why he had this damned mask on in the first place.

Suddenly he felt like the mask was suffocating him. He had to get it off. He reached for it with his shaking left hand but stopped himself. It wasn't suffocating him. It was just a brain glitch that was making him think that. It was helping him. Yeah, it was helping him. He felt a hand take a hold of his left hand. It was Steve's hand. Then Steve was speaking. "Just try and relax Danny. Leave the mask alone. Let it help you. I know it's hard buddy, but you can do it. It's just a mask. I'm here. I know you're scared. It's okay. It's going to be okay"

Steve was trying his best to help but Danny found himself wishing Mindy were there. She'd know what to do. She'd help him calm down without embarrassment at being such a coward that he was afraid of a mask.

Eyes still locked on Steve's because it was the only thing keeping him remotely sane at the moment, he heard the doctor say that his oxygen level was rising. He noticed that the spots were gone, too. Thank God!

Steve was impressed by the way Danny was dealing with this oxygen mask. Eyes wide with fear, he was centering his focus on Steve's eyes and controlling the panic. Only once had his hand flickered as if ready to pull it off. Steve was even more impressed with the way Danny had battled through every obstacle thrown at him over the past few days, the way he fought his way through every crisis. The man was the biggest worrier he had ever met but he had a warrior's heart.

A while after the young Resident had fixed Danny up with the oxygen mask and left, the Surgeon himself came in to check on his patient. Steve was ready to jump right in with questions and demands but the doctor focused on the now cognizant but silent patient instead.

"Hi Danny. I understand that you're having some real trouble breathing," the Surgeon said. He checked the monitor and Danny's chart. "Your oxygen levels are definitely improving. Do you feel better with the mask on?"

That was a loaded question. It did give him much needed air but it was hard not to freak out with it on. Danny pulled at the mask so he could speak but he didn't really answer the question. "Back hurts like hell."

The doctor nodded. "I'm sure it does. That's due in large part to the strong reaction you had to the pain meds. We tried changing them but that didn't help so we were forced to reduce the amount of pain medicine you were receiving."

"Damn Neanderthal," Danny said after again tugging his mask away.

Steve chortled and the doctor looked perplexed but he went on. "I understand from your medical history that you have had previous significant injuries which required the same pain medicines. You tolerated those just fine from what I am reading."

Steve answered for him. "That's right. Never been a problem before."

The doctor paused for a moment, perusing Danny's extensive file, some of which he had requested from other hospitals. "I'd like to try increasing the level of pain medicine in small increments. See if we can't at least find a happy medium between the pain you are suffering and the effects of the medicine. With luck, your body will handle it fine now as it had before."

"Not exactly been his week for good luck," Steve responded for Danny.

The doctor slapped his file shut. "Well, hopefully that will change. So, if you are in agreement Danny, I will have a slight increase in pain meds put into your IV right away. What do you think?"

"Think… love ... , doc," was Danny's reply.

"That's a yes," Steve translated with a fond look at this brother of his.

With a smile, the doctor nodded his understanding and then spoke again. "Danny, do you have pain anywhere besides your back?"

He didn't speak with his words but Steve could hear what he was saying with his eyes. It was a yes. "Where else are you hurting, D?" Steve gently moved the mask aside momentarily so Danny could answer his query.

"Head. Neck."

"The headache could be from the anesthesia or from the pain meds or a lingering result of the exceedingly high blood pressure you had for the last few days. Probably a combination. As for the neck pain, let's take a look" the doctor said as he pressed his fingers as gently as possible along the side of Danny's neck and across the top of his shoulder, gauging Danny's reactions at various spots and feeling for muscle tension. When he was finished he spoke again. "You have some severe muscle spasms along the neck and shoulder line, quite possibly from the lack of mobility in the surrounding muscles and from the position we've had you lying in. Finding a new position for you and getting you mobile may help."

Mobile? Danny's eyes opened wide at that. He couldn't even breathe and he was talking about him getting up and walking?

"Uh, Doc, with all due respect," Steve spoke up using his military trained phrase. "Danny was stabbed in the back four days ago, just underwent a second surgery where he had tissue and muscle removed, is still fighting a severe infection, is having muscle spasms in his neck and shoulder and is on a very low dose of pain medicine and you expect him to walk?"

It was almost a Danny worthy rant and Danny smiled fondly at Steve. Role reversal at it's finest.

The doctor smiled. The man had a more than valid point. "Don't worry. I didn't mean to get him walking quite yet. We need to reduce his pain level and then get him back to some physical therapy that will get those muscles moving and not cramping. I'd like to try some alternative methods to easing the pain as well. Since we still can't risk a full dose of painkillers I suggest that we also try a muscle relaxant. It won't necessarily do you any good and there are side effects – sedation, headaches, dizziness – but I suggest we at least give it a try. We can also begin a regimen of applying hot compresses to your back, neck and shoulder and using some topical pain relievers."

Between the lack of oxygen and the after effects of the anesthesia Danny's head was still spinning and steadily throbbing and as the doctor continued speaking Danny struggled to understand the words. Suddenly Danny realized that the doctor had finished speaking and seemed to be waiting for an answer. Problem was, Danny wasn't sure what all he had said. He looked to Steve for help.

Steve sat down on the edge of the bed next to Danny so he could look him in the eye. Danny had the most expressive eyes he knew (except when the man was playing poker when they became totally unreadable) so looking at him while he talked was a distinct advantage. "He wants to try some other methods to help ease the pain. We don't want to see you hurting like this buddy. We can see how bad the pain is. Will you let them give it a try?"

Danny looked at Steve trying to remember what the doctor had said. Steve went on. "There could be some side effects like dizziness or a headache or you could get very sleepy."

Danny tugged once more at the mask. "Sleep's good. No pain." The rest of his message was conveyed with his eyes.

Steve gripped Danny's bicep in unspoken support. "That's another yes, Doc."


	26. Chapter 26

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N Thank you again to all who take the time to review. I try to reply to each one but if I missed you, please know that I appreciate your review nonetheless. Same goes for all guest reviewers who I can't reply directly to. To the guest reviewer who asked why Danny was lying on his injured back – he is not. I said in the first paragraph that he was propped on his side. Sorry if it wasn't clear.

A/N Still 5th day (same day as surgery. I know, I know, I write too much), 5th night, and 6th day

H50 H50 H50

Several hours later, in too poor shape for a regular room, they had settled Danny back in ICU, hooked up to IV's, oxygen and all kinds of monitoring equipment. The pain meds and the muscle relaxant had been administered. They had also begun to use a local pain relieving gel and to place warm compresses across Danny's back, shoulder and neck on a regular schedule and they all seemed to be helping to some degree. At least breathing didn't seem to be quite as much of a battle for him as it had been before. That was a huge relief to Steve because the doctor had mentioned the possibility of needing to put Danny on a ventilator if his breathing didn't improve. That was a decision he did not want to have to make.

Steve now watched as the doctor unpacked the blood and pus soaked dressings from the large, gaping wound on Danny's back, inspected the wound for signs of infection, removed some more infected tissue, irrigated it with a saline solution and repacked it again with clean saline soaked dressings. It was a rather gruesome process to behold and he again found himself admiring his partner's courage as he endured the whole grueling process with nothing more than groans and gritted teeth.

Being satisfied with the improvement in Danny's oxygen levels the doctor replaced the mask with a nasal cannula.

When all of that was completed, an aide came in to give Danny a sponge bath and Steve was dutifully kicked out of the room. First he called Chin and discussed who would stay with Danny that night. In the end they decided that since he was already there that Steve would stay. He then went to the cafeteria for some late dinner before returning, settling into the comfortable recliner to spend the night watching over his partner who was once again settled on his side in ICU.

There were no hallucinations and no strange conversations that night, but Danny didn't sleep well. His night was interrupted more than once by the horrid nerve pain attacks and when they would finish, Danny would lie in the bed in a miasma of pain, silent and unmoving, dealing with the wound in his back, the pounding headaches and simply trying to breathe.

Throughout the night, when Danny would become restless with the pain or become more frantic from a nerve attack, Steve would awaken and do whatever he could to help. It never felt like enough.

Steve awoke in the morning after a fitful sleep in the recliner. Gazing out the window he saw the sun just beginning to climb it's way past the horizon. Normally at this time he would begin his swim, shower and shave routine. Today that wouldn't happen.

Rising from the recliner and stretching the kinks out, Steve stepped over to the bed. He placed his hand gently on his partner's brow and huffed out a frustrated sigh. He obviously still had a raging fever. His temperature had stubbornly remained above 103 for days now. "Come on Danno. Fight this thing," he pleaded.

A hospital aide brought in breakfast for Steve at the request of one of the nurses. It was quite clear that Danny wouldn't be eating it. He was restricted to a liquid diet anyway right now as a result of the surgery so even if he did wake up he wouldn't be allowed to eat. So, as Danny slept fitfully, Steve dug into the breakfast. It wasn't gourmet food by any stretch but it gave him sustenance without having to leave his partner's side.

When he was finished, he looked at his partner who looked like he was in pain even in sleep. His breathing had improved from the evening before but that was the only good thing Steve could grasp onto. Actually, that wasn't true, he thought. His brother here was still alive; that was the best thing to hold onto.

Watching the gentle rise and fall of Danny's chest, listening to the soft beeping of the heart monitor, smelling the antiseptic odor of the hospital room and feeling the overheated brow of his partner all left a bitter taste in his mouth. This man, this good, caring, loving, loyal man did not deserve this. He had his faults of course, his propensity for worry, complaining and sarcasm among them, but Steve had told Grace once that Danny was the best man he knew. He had meant it. His commitment, dedication and loyalty, for example, were unsurpassed.

His thoughts wandered back to the day they met, the day this snarky, quirky, anxious, courageous, dog loving, ocean hating, broad-shouldered, blue-eyed, loyal to a fault Jersey boy had entered his life, gun drawn. Neither man had any clue at the time just what the other would come to mean to him.

Steve shook his head at the memory of that first meeting when they were holding guns on each other in his father's garage, neither wanting to be the one to give in. Two Type A personalities butting heads. They worked it out though, he remembered with a chuckle.

" _At the same time?" Danny said._

" _At the same time." Steve agreed._

" _What? Like on the count of three?" Danny said with his sarcastic tone._

" _Yeah sure okay, three's good." Steve agreed again._

When both ID's were shown and weapons holstered the first words out of Danny's mouth were words of condolence over Steve's loss - Danny showing his compassion and respect from the start.

They'd been working it out ever since. Well, not exactly, Steve thought with a smile. It actually took a few more hours.

He recalled that later that day Danny had been shot when they went to look for Doran. Then Danny shot and killed Doran just as Doran, holding a hostage in front of him, was ready to shoot Steve. Steve was livid because Doran was their only lead to Hesse, the man who killed Steve's father. An argument ensued, the first of many over the following years. Steve questioned Danny's resolve. Danny poked Steve in the chest challenging him in a way nobody else had ever dared, before or since. Steve easily grabbed Danny's hand and twisted him into an elbow lock. When Steve finally released him Danny calmly fixed his unruly blond hair and then, face set in a controlled fury that Steve still remembered clearly to this day, reached high and slugged Steve right in the face. That was the start of a beautiful friendship.

Being honest with himself Steve had hijacked Danny's career, all those years ago when he made him his partner, in large part to knock the brash, aggressive detective down a peg. He'd use the top-notch detective to find his father's killer and then throw him to the curb and go back to the Navy. That was the plan anyway. It was a total fail because Danny had hijacked his heart in return and somehow made Steve want to stay. Similarly, he had hijacked Grace's nickname for her father. After overhearing it in the car he had started calling him Danno to annoy him. He would get a kick out of the look on Danny's face, and even more so the colorful verbal reaction he would get whenever he used the name. But, Danny had again beaten him at his own game. He had come to allow the use of it, clearly stating that he kind of liked it. Steve could never win with this buddy of his.

He sat there, watching his partner pull painful breath after painful breath and he realized when it was that he knew that Danny Williams was more than a partner to him. It was about a year after they had met and Danny had been exposed to the nerve agent Sarin. He was barely able to breathe and was suffering seizures. Steve left an active crime scene so he could accompany his partner to the hospital. The doctor told him bluntly that Danny didn't have much time. Staring incredulously at the trauma room doors as they closed behind his dying partner, that's when Steve knew. Danny Williams wasn't just his partner. Danny Williams was a friend, a friend who held a very big piece of Steve's heart in his dying hands. That's when he knew that if Danny died, he'd never be the same again.

And if he felt that way then, a year after having met the man, it was multiplied exponentially now, more than another four years on. If he lost Danny, his friend, his brother, it would be like losing a part of himself.

Continuing his contemplation, Steve considered all the times that Danny had been there for him. There were seriously too many times to count. Danny had his back on a day-to-day basis, of that Steve was undeniably sure. Even when Danny didn't agree with the way they were entering a situation, even if the two of them had been at each other's throats all day, Danny still had his back 100%.

But, more than that, Danny had been there for much more serious things. He had led the team to save him in Korea, he had gone to Afghanistan to orchestrate his rescue by a SEAL team, he had led his team to rescue him when he had been taken by Wo Fat, he had pushed so hard to find Steve when he was on that plane with Wo Fat that he had been captured and detained by the CIA. That didn't even begin to cover all the times Danny had been there for him with a six-pack of beer, an attentive ear or a shoulder to lean on. The list was endless. Everybody went on and on about how strong Steve was, how tough he was, but Steve knew something most other people didn't. Danny was his strength. Without him, Steve had been just an emotionless shell.

But the biggest, most amazing sacrifice that Danny had ever made for him was when he had waived extradition to Colombia for the murder of Marco Reyes so that Steve would not be punished for his involvement. Danny knew that signing that paper meant he would most likely never see home again, never see his ohana again, oh God love the man, never see his beloved Grace again. Danny knew that signing that paper would mean a total loss of freedom, would bring him into a life of beat downs and torture with no way out. Danny knew that signing that paper was like signing his own death warrant and yet he signed it anyway – for Steve. That was almost a year ago and Steve still had a difficult time comprehending the magnitude of that act, the depth of honor, loyalty, respect, devotion, even love that that one signature entailed.

Steve let out a deep sigh and scrubbed his hands over his face. His thoughts now strayed to the guitar Danny had bought him the year before after Steve had opened up to Danny and shared his story about the aborted talent show. The guitar was a beauty, not a cheap one by any stretch. But the true value of that guitar lie not in its monetary worth, but in the meaning behind the giving of it. Steve cherished that guitar and found himself wishing he had it in his hands right now.

Rising, he stepped over to the bed and touched Danny's forehead again, hoping for some change in temperature since the last time he checked. He found no change. "Damn it Danny. You have to beat this thing."

After surgery the doctor had said that the first 24 hours would be crucial. Well, the first 24 hours were now over and nothing had changed. In fact, they had only been able to rouse Danny enough to eat a few spoonfuls of broth at lunchtime and dinnertime no matter how much prodding they did. Even worse, the naturally verbose man had not uttered a single word since the discussion about the oxygen mask in the recovery room. Not a word. Not when they tried to rouse him to eat, not when they checked his vitals, not even when they tended to the raw, bloody, open, infected wound on his back.

Throughout the day, Steve continued to keep watch over this brother of his. The doctor and nurses came in at regular intervals to care for him, but he remained fevered and unresponsive. Steve was becoming scared. No, not scared. What did Danny call it? Oh yeah, 'rationally concerned'. Kind of like calling fainting being 'overcome with relief', he thought with a sad smile. Damn, he missed Danny.

In the evening, Chin, Kono, Lou and Abby came to check on their ailing teammate. They had been as disappointed and as concerned as Steve was that there still appeared to be no improvement. Normally, only one visitor was allowed in ICU but since Steve was now refusing to leave his ailing brother's side, the staff made an exception so they could each visit for a short time with Danny.

Kono watched and waited as Chin and Lou each went in for their turn. Not knowing Danny well, Abby had come along for moral support but declined going in. When it was her turn, Kono took a deep breath and entered the ICU bay. Danny looked downright awful - so quiet, so still, so unnaturally gray. She turned to Steve. He looked haggard and worn.

Forcing a smile onto her face she approached Steve now, extending her arms to him. Steve responded by standing and pulling Kono into a tight embrace. "He's going to be okay, boss. I know it. He really is. Just give it time," she said as they broke apart.

Thinking of the 24 hour mark that was now long gone, Steve looked at Danny and sighed. "I don't know how much time he has, Kono."

"No way Steve. No way," Kono hissed at him. "You do not get to give up on him."

Steve took a step back, startled not only by Kono's outburst but also by his own words that provoked it. "I, I, I'm sorry Kono."

"I think you've been here too long and need a break. You should go home. One of us will stay."

Steve simply shook his head no. He was not going to leave his brother's side while there was still no change, no sign of hope.

Giving in for the moment, Kono approached the bed and touched Danny's forehead with her hand. "He's so hot."

Both Kono and Steve were startled nearly right out of their skins when a weak, gravelly, pain-filled voice responded. "All the girls say that."


	27. Chapter 27

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N Tip of the hat in here. Kind of an easy one.

A/N 6th night and 7th day

H50 H50 H50

Despite the fact that Danny did not utter another word, Steve was encouraged enough by his unexpected one-liner and Kono's not so gentle prodding that he allowed Kono to talk him into going home and allowing her to stay instead.

It was a good decision because other than the nerve pain attacks, Danny slept pretty well. Kono didn't need to do much of anything and, feeling encouraged after hearing the sound of his brother's voice, Steve had given in to his exhaustion and actually managed a good night's sleep in his own bed.

The next morning though, feeling wholly refreshed, Steve rose with the sun, went for his swim, showered, grabbed some breakfast and was back in the ICU before Danny woke up. He was pleased to find his partner feeling cooler to the touch and even more pleased to hear from Kono that his temperature had, indeed, begun to drop during the night. It still hovered at around 102 but that was a good sign after not dropping below 103 for so long. When Kono left, he took up his spot once again keeping watch.

Not long later, Steve had to leave as the doctor came to check on his sleeping partner.

Danny grumbled at the voice that kept calling his name and pestering him to open his eyes. "Leave me alone you Neanderthal. Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"

"I'm sorry Danny, but I'm doing my morning rounds and I need to check you over."

"I'm not that kind of guy, SuperSEAL. Go check out the nurses."

The doctor laughed at that. "I'm afraid you have me mistaken for someone else. I'm just your doctor."

The cobwebs finally cleared from Danny's head. "Doc? Oh crap, Doc. Sorry about that. I thought you were Steve," he mumbled tiredly.

"He's the Neanderthal SuperSEAL?"

"I see you've gotten to know him," Danny replied, causing the doctor to laugh again. He was pleased to see that his patient's spark for life and snarky sense of humor had finally returned.

Upon his return, Steve was ecstatic to find Danny sitting up awake and no longer propped on his side. The head of the bed was partially raised. The nasal cannula was still helping him breathe and the IV line was still pumping in fluids, antibiotics and limited pain medicine. The embarrassing bag hanging from the side of the bed under the covers was still collecting his urine output. His cheeks were flushed with fever on his otherwise pale skin, but his glassy, blue eyes were open. He looked terrible, but he was finally awake and that was a wonderful sight to see.

Danny certainly felt better than he had yesterday; well he thought it was yesterday anyway. From what the doctor had told him he had been totally out of it for a couple of days. Sitting up helped him feel more human but it really made his back hurt to put pressure on it. It was a trade-off. His head alternated between pounding and spinning, when it wasn't doing both. His whole body felt like a train wreck and he was thoroughly and utterly exhausted. But, he was awake and aware and he was thankful for that.

"Hey partner," Steve said with a huge smile upon entering the room. "How ya feeling?" He placed his hand on Danny's forehead. He still felt very hot.

"Ready to run a marathon." Danny weakly smacked Steve's hand away.

"You hate running."

"That's true. I also hate pineapple covered pizza, this pineapple infested hell-hole of an island," he counted off each by holding up a finger on his hand, "the ocean that surrounds it," he swirled his hand in a circle, "and you partner." He polished off his list with one specific finger pointed directly at Steve before his hand dropped tiredly to the bed.

"Me?"

"Yeah you. You're the one who hijacked my life and made me your partner."

"So, you're going to blaming me for this because I dragged you into Five-O all those years ago?"

"No, not at all."

Now Steve was confused. That was Danny's usual line of reasoning when he got hurt in the line of duty or when anything remotely bad happened related to the job. "Well, then why do you hate me?"

Danny was surprised. "I should ask you that."

"You should ask me why you hate me? That makes no sense."

"You're right that doesn't make sense because it's not what I said. Try to stay with me, here, babe. Why do you hate me?"

"Why do I hate you? I don't hate you. I've sat by your side for a good part of the last four days pal."

"With the sole purpose of torturing me to death which brings me back to my original question."

"Danny, I usually enjoy these verbal sparring matches we have, but I must admit I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Seriously? Do the words medical proxy mean anything to you?"

"That's what this is about?"

"Yes. Stop the pain meds. Surgery. You tried to kill me and don't try to deny it."

"We didn't stop your pain meds, we just reduced them." Danny glared at Steve but the SEAL marched on. "I was trying to save your life, partner, because you were too damn out of it to even answer a question," Steve said with a fond smile. It drove some people crazy but he absolutely loved his partner's special kind of reasoning and way of showing his appreciation.

"Oh, don't give me that goofy grin, you Neanderthal animal," Danny said, speaking as much with his left hand as he was with his mouth. "You're as guilty as sin. You tried to kill me. The proof is on a piece of paper in my medical file. I could draw you up on charges you know…"

Steve sat back and let the rant wash right over him. It was good to have Danny back.

Soon thereafter, thoroughly exhausted just from that little bit of talking, Danny nodded off again and was still asleep when Steve had to leave after a phone call from the Governor handed Five-O a new case. Crime didn't stop in Honolulu just because Danny was in the hospital.

At lunchtime Chin came carrying another bag from Polunu's. He entered the room and was immediately pleased to see that Danny was awake and he appeared to be breathing easier, albeit still with the aid of the nasal cannula. Although he was still quite pale and the pain lines on his face were still there, as were the IV lines in his arm, it was definitely an encouraging sight overall. He had never put a label on it before, but Danny was possibly his best friend right now. The thought of losing him had been terrible. He shook his head. Things were looking up; he shouldn't dwell on yesterday. "Hey brah. How you feeling?" He placed his hand on Danny's forehead. He still felt very hot.

"Fine." Danny weakly smacked Chin's hand away.

"Seriously, brah? That's the answer I get? You're still burning up."

Danny smiled. He deserved that. "My back still hurts like it's split wide open, which it actually is from what I hear but at least I can breathe now without a damn mask on. And my brain is no longer muzzy, well not completely anyway, and the room, although it tends to spin clockwise at unpredictable times, no longer looks like it's swimming in pea soup."

"Now that was an honest answer," Chin told him with a smile. Creative and honest. "Still nothing with your arm or hand?"

"No."

Accepting the short answer without comment, Chin went on. "Well, you look better, although almost anything would be an improvement over how you looked yesterday."

"Not sure if that was a complement or an insult."

"Neither. Just the facts. Figured we'd try again," he told Danny, holding up the bag.

"Come here so I can kiss you, babe." Danny pressed the button to raise the head of the bed. As they spoke Chin removed the pillows from behind him so he could sit upright.

"Keep it for Melissa." Chin pulled the table over the bed and pulled the contents out, remembering to open the soup so Danny wouldn't have to struggle with it. "Doc said only light foods for you today so I got you chicken noodle soup."

"No grilled cheese?"

"Doc said no."

"Good thing I didn't kiss you then," he laughed.

Danny managed much better this time as he was more awake and his hand was not shaking nearly as much. He still had to take it slow, because every move made his breath catch. Slow and easy was the best approach. They spoke casually as he ate but not too much because it made everything even harder for Danny. He managed to finish more than half of the soup. His appetite was returning but he still had a long way to go.

When that was finished and cleaned up Danny was exhausted and slipped off into sleep. For the rest of the afternoon and evening there was a comfortable routine. Most of the time Danny was fatigued and he would sleep so Chin would pull out his laptop or phone and get some work done, answer some emails or play a game. When Danny suffered a nerve pain attack, Chin would turn down the lights, shut the door and helplessly watch his friend suffer. When Danny was awake and feeling okay, they would chat about whatever came to mind. With Danny, there was never a shortage of things to talk about.

"You know how much blood they've pumped into me?" Danny began.

"No idea."

"Five units since I was brought in here. That means more than half my blood isn't my own. My blood is more not me than it is me. Who knows where that blood came from, huh?"

Chin just shrugged and grinned as Danny went on.

"What kind of blood do I have running through my veins now? Was it some mass murderer who needed a few bucks and sold his blood? Was it some great humanitarian who gives blood as often as allowed out of the kindness of her heart? Maybe it was some genius. Oh wow, maybe it was a teenager who is 7 feet tall and still growing and he'll pass on some of his height to me. Do I look taller to you?"

"Don't think so. Sorry," he answered with a laugh. It was amazing how much he missed this when Danny wasn't there. He added a spice to life despite his negative and anxious worries.

"I didn't think so either." He was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "Oh crap."

"What? You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay sorry. I just realized something. Oh damn. It can't be."

"What's going on?"

"Steve gave blood last week."

"And?" Chin asked.

"What if I got his?"

"His what? His blood?"

"Yeah. I'm so screwed."

"You're the same blood type?"

"Yeah. Oh damn. What if I have crazy, Neanderthal, ninja, SuperSEAL, Rambo, army blood running through my veins? I'll be sticking people in shark cages and hanging people off of roofs. And I only have one arm so that roof thing could get a bit complicated."

Even with the aid of the nasal cannula, Danny's breathing wasn't strong so he needed to stop a moment to catch his breath before going on. Sensing he wasn't done talking, Chin patiently waited him out, chuckling lightly. "Oh crap, Chin. I'll be going in without back up, jumping over cars and storing hand grenades in my glove box. All kinds of crazy stuff. Who's going to keep me reined in if I have Steve's blood screwing with my head?"

Chin was full out laughing now. It didn't happen often to the normally stoic man, but the thought of 'by the book' Danny doing 'crazy Steve stunts' with SuperSEAL, ninja, Rambo, Neanderthal blood running through his veins was really funny. "You'll just have to stay in control, brah. Give yourself a good rant now and then and…"

Now Danny was smirking. He didn't laugh at his own jokes but he was tempted to laugh at Chin's right now. He didn't want to laugh. He knew it would hurt. "Don't make me laugh," he begged, but it was too late.

"…then you'll have to pay yourself to stop talking. You'll be rich," Chin added.

That did it. It put Danny right over the edge and he began to laugh halted quickly by the searing pain that shot through his back. Tears of both laughter and pain leaked from his eyes. He gasped for breath, writhing in pain onto his side.

Chin was out of his chair in an instant. "Take it easy, Danny." He placed a comforting hand on Danny's hip, trying to help soothe him. He brushed his other hand across Danny's warm head. "That's it. That's it. Slow breaths," he repeated calmly as Danny slowly began to settle.

"Shit Chin," Danny said eventually. "Stick with being Zen, huh? You're dangerous as a comedian."

It was Chin's turn to smirk now. "Sorry man," he said apologetically as he returned to his chair.

Danny shifted uncomfortably in the bed again. "It's okay. It was good to laugh, even if just for a second." He paused for a moment and then went on. "It's so easy to just let my thoughts stay dark, you know?" he confessed, worry-filled eyes catching Chin's.

Chin nodded. He knew how badly he worried about the uncertain future Danny was facing. He couldn't imagine how Danny was coping. Danny had never come right out and said it, but he had his suspicions that Danny battled with anxiety on a daily basis when things were normal. A heavy blow like this injury – a possibly life changing injury – would make things even more difficult. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'm here for you, though. Whatever you need. You know that right?"

Danny nodded. Chin was a good friend, had proven that more than once, especially the way he helped him try and save Matt's life. "Yeah, but what I need you can't give me," he said honestly. "Not this time."

That evening Max stopped by. "Hello Detective Williams," Max said as he entered the room. He turned to Chin and nodded. "Lieutenant Kelly." Both men returned the greeting.

Turning back to Danny Max spoke again. "How is our patient doing today?"

"Uh Max, I'm still alive," Danny advised the coroner.

"Well, yes, I can see that you are still alive, Detective I was able to ascertain that pretty quickly upon entering the room."

"Oh, you're good Max, really good," Danny returned. "Just stop calling me your patient, alright? It's a bit disturbing."

While Chin ate the dinner that Max had brought for him, Max and Danny settled down to a game of chess, which Max had also brought. Danny was eager to play. The distraction was welcome and, unlike Steve, Max could give him a good game. The first game was a long duel of wits marred for Danny only by the slight tremor in his left hand as he handled the pieces. Max understood though and would silently fix any piece that was inadvertently moved.

The second game became gradually more difficult as the tremor increased and Danny's concentration faltered as his headache ramped up. He found it increasingly painful to sit upright in the bed and he would often lean his head back and close his eyes between moves. There was no chatter, no smack talk. Max won the second game pretty easily.

"If you would like, I will be willing to leave the game here in your room so you can play with other visitors if you and they are so inclined," Max offered graciously as he packed the pieces away.

Chin answered for Danny. "I think that's a great idea, Max. It'll give the rest of us a chance to actually beat him for once."

"You think so, huh?" Danny challenged.

"Oh yeah, you are going down, brah," Chin said with much more confidence than he really felt. He would have challenged him to play right now, as it was Chin's best chance to win, but one look at Danny and he couldn't bring himself to do it. Danny would likely take up the challenge; that was his character. It was obvious, though, that Danny needed a break. His squinted eyes, the pain lines on his forehead and the way he sagged into the pillows were all telltale signs that Chin couldn't miss. "Later, though."

When Danny awoke from another nap, the three friends chatted for a while before the nurse came in to do her regular check. When she finished she suggested that Danny get out of bed and try standing. It was good for him for many reasons. So, Chin and Max helped Danny out of the bed and stayed by his side while he attempted a short walk. Just standing wasn't good enough for him; he had to try more. He didn't get far – only to the door of the room – but considering the condition he had been in for the past few days, the lack of solid foods and his lingering fever, it was an excellent achievement.

Max soon said his goodbyes, leaving Chin alone with Danny who had fallen asleep yet again immediately after the brief but tiring walk.

A couple hours later, Danny thoroughly enjoyed a video chat with Grace and Charlie. Danny would have loved to see them in person but Charlie was too young for a hospital visit and Rachel felt that it was too soon after the surgery for Grace to go. She had been terribly confused by Danny's quick decline after her first visit and Rachel didn't want to take any chances with her emotions. Danny reluctantly agreed with the logic and settled for the brief video chat instead. "Love you Monkey. Love you Tiger," Danny said as they ended.

"Love you more, Danno," his children said in unison, before Charlie hit the button and the screen went black. Chin returned the laptop to the bedside table and plugged it in to recharge.

"You've got great kids, Danny. Grace is amazing and I can't wait to meet Charlie on Thanksgiving." He held up his hand to forestall Danny's pessimistic, anxious reply. "It IS going to happen. You'll be out of here and we will make it work, brah. I'm figuring I'll be missing my favorite receiver on the football field but you'll at least be out of here."

"Yeah, that's a start," Danny agreed. Yawning, his eyes drooped and he dozed off yet again.

When Danny awoke feeling a bit refreshed, Chin suggested a game of chess and Danny readily agreed. It took longer than usual, but Danny still managed to pull off a win. Chin shook his head with a smile.

"Hey babe," Danny said later to Chin. It was getting late now. "I appreciate you being here but I don't need a babysitter. Go home and get some sleep."

It was tempting to Chin. His own bed was much more enticing than the hospital chair. But he knew how rough the past four nights had been for Danny and he didn't want to leave him to deal with that on his own. Steve had stayed twice and Eric and Kono had each stayed. He figured it was his turn. "You didn't complain the last four nights," Chin said in his defense.

"I also didn't pee for myself the last four nights so we can't exactly compare, can we?"

Chin laughed. "There is that. If it's all the same to you, though, I'd still like to stay."

"Fine with me. It is kind of creepy though." Danny closed his eyes for a while and Chin thought he might be asleep again. "Oh wait, I get it." Danny opened his eyes and looked at his friend. "You're afraid to leave me alone."

"Well, you're doing much better than the last few days," Chin started to say, "but…"

"No. No. No. Not that. You're afraid of Steve, or is it Kono? Which one do you think will kick your butt if you leave me alone tonight?"

"Probably both," Chin answered with a smile.

"Probably," Danny agreed. "Want me to move over so you can sleep in a bed?" he added with a smirk, blue eyes laughing in delight.

Chin raised his hands in front of him. "That's quite alright."

"Really. I have room and I'm happy to share," he continued with a smile.

"I'm fine, but thanks."

"It's your back, babe."

Chin stayed with Danny for several more hours, Danny sleeping much of the time. Whether awake or asleep there were no more hallucinations or vivid memories. He did suffer another nerve pain attack and, as always, there was no rhyme or reason to when it happened or how severe it would be.

Around midnight, a nurse came in and insisted that it was well past visiting hours and that Danny was doing well and that Chin needed to go home.

"Told ya," Danny said with a sleepy laugh. Then he spoke to the nurse. "Can you put it in writing that you made him leave? He's afraid a 110 pound woman will kick his butt for leaving."


	28. Chapter 28

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N Sorry it took so long to get this posted. Had extra hours at work taking care of a big problem and then a co-worker went to the ER, which meant more hours. (He's ok though, so that's good). Then I wasn't happy with the chapter and did a major rewrite. Then I decided that the re-written chapter worked better after this one so I finished this one instead. sigh

A/N Many of you got it this time – maybe because it was easy or maybe because I also included it in my Who's Your Daddy fic. The tip of the hat to Scott in the last chapter was the chess matches. Alex said in an interview that he and Scott used to play chess between takes but they stopped because Scott always won. I've seen photos of Scott playing chess with Masi Oka in later seasons. I guess if they're still playing then maybe they're fairly evenly matched. I have no idea if any of the others play chess.

A/N SPOILER alert for Hoa 'Inea (Misery Loves Company) 2/12/16 ep. I really enjoyed the Valentine's Day ep. I'm actually very proud of Danny. He's right – don't say "love" unless you mean it, even in a card. Team Danny on this one. He's been burned by love and he's not going to say that word or give his heart away totally without being really sure. That's a good thing. More people should be like that. On the other hand, how is Lou back in Hawaii? How did he get away with committing several premeditated felonies in Chicago in that last ep? I was never a big fan of Lou's but now he just seems scary. Allowing him to get away with those crimes from the last ep was just wrong.

A/N I'm doing something in this chapter that we haven't seen on the show yet, putting Grace and Eric together. I was hoping that we would get an episode with Danny and Steve going to NJ this season but that is looking unlikely to me now. So, since Clara is back in Hawaii in this week's ep, my new hope is that (after they resolve that neither Danny nor Clara has the money Matt stole) they will give us a scene with Danny, Clara, Eric, Grace and Charlie all together. That many Williams' in one room should be hilarious. Throw in Steve just to top it off. Scott would have a field day ad libbing a scene like this. It would be a H50 classic, no doubt. One can only hope though.

A/N There is a tip of the hat to Scott in this chapter. Can anybody spot it?

A/N (I promise this is the last A/N for this chapter). 9th day

H50 H50 H50

Danny continued his slow pace of improvement and 9 days after he was so brutally stabbed in the back he was again moved out of ICU and back into a regular room. The doctors were still slowly raising the dose of pain meds. The significant pain he was dealing with as a result of the low dose slowed his recovery. Sleep was needed for healing, but real sleep was elusive when pain was so severe. He spent a significant percentage of his time napping in a sort of limbo – not really awake but unable to really sleep.

The morning brought a visit from Kamekona with a huge box of malasades and cocoa puffs in hand. The enticing aroma reached Danny before Kamekona even entered the room and it already had his stomach growling.

"Howzit Minnow?" Kamekona said as he entered.

"Hey Shamu!" Danny was always happy to see this unique but special friend.

"How you feelin', brah?" To Kamekona, Danny looked pale and tired and very uncomfortable. A nasal cannula and IV lines would do that to you, not to mention the hole in his back.

"About what you'd expect after getting stabbed in the back."

"Hurts, huh? I know some guys with some good stuff…"

Danny held up his left hand. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"Oops. Hey, I brought a special treat for my favorite haole." The Hawaiian held the box up with a smile. "You look too skinny to me. Gotta fatten you up." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"If I had two working hands I'd wrap them around your neck Gigantor." Danny shifted in the bed, trying to find some semblance of comfort.

"Now is that any way to speak to a visitor bearing gifts?"

"It is when the doctor still has me on a restricted diet." With a sigh, he waved a hand at the remains of breakfast on the table. Apple juice, toast, and a fruit cup. Appetite back, Danny had eaten every bite but he was still hungry, like a rather famous caterpillar in one of Charlie's storybooks, he thought with a smile.

"That's not enough for your little blond keiki to live off of," Kamekona exclaimed. "Can't wait to meet him, brah."

"Just don't step on him, Sasquatch," Danny laughed back.

Danny was thrilled when a short time later the doctor came in and cleared him for a diet with no restrictions. The doctor was almost equally thrilled when Danny offered him one of Kamekona's treats.

When the doctor left, Danny dug into the box with gusto. "Ah, a little bit of heaven right here on earth," he said with a contented sigh when he finished eating a cocoa puff. There were still many pastries in the box. Kamekona always went big, especially for his favorite haole.

The good doctor must have spread the word because the steady stream of nurses and aides coming in to check on Danny after that was a bit surprising. Although considering the number of gifts, baskets, and balloons he received when he was first admitted, maybe it wasn't so surprising. Either way, each one was offered a treat.

"You got quite the fan club Blondie," Kamekona quipped when a cute young Hawaiian aide left the room after plumping the pillows and accepting a malasade for her efforts. "Girls must like them small, pale and ugly these days."

Danny waved his left pointer finger at his big friend. "Oh, I'm warning you Fridge, you better stay on the other side of the room because even with only one good hand, if I get a hold of you I'm gunna drop you like 3rd period French," Danny growled with a laugh.

The two men chatted in their own unique style for a while longer. The nurse interrupted briefly to apply the warm soothing compresses and later to remove them. They provided some relief to his back, shoulder and neck but none at all to his relentless headache.

With Kamekona's help, Danny took a walk and fared much better than he had with Chin and Max the day before. This time, holding onto the railing along the wall, he made it out the door of the room and partway down the hall before Kamekona, who was rolling the IV pole behind him, began to worry. "You okay, brah? You're looking a bit shaky if you ask me." He tried three times to get Danny to head back to the room.

"I'm fine."

Kamekona was concerned by Danny's limited response. Danny always spoke in long sentences with colorful nicknames. He tried to decide what to do. Danny was using his good arm to hold onto the railing with what by now looked like a death grip. He was walking with him on the other side but due to the massive injury to his back and chest and the lack of use of his right arm (which was bound up in a sling anyway) there wasn't a real good place to grab a hold of him. "Yeah, and I'm a ballerina. Come on, Blondie, let's turn around and go back."

"No. Gotta make it to the end of the hallway."

"What's so important about the end of the hallway, brah? You gotta make it back to your bed, that's what's important."

Danny answered in a shaky, pain-filled voice. "What's so important? You see those chairs there? Those nice empty chairs? That's what's important. They're calling me. Seriously calling me." They were much closer than the room was. Much, much closer.

To get to the chairs, Danny had to move away from the security of the railing and the speed with which Kamekona moved to Danny's left side and grabbed a hold of him to help belied his wide girth.

"You okay, brah?" Kamekona asked again as he helped Danny settle into an uncomfortable looking plastic chair, IV pole at his side. "You look a little pale if you ask me, even for a haole."

Danny groaned. "Made a bit of a strategic error."

"That's what you call it? You've been hanging with McGarrett too long. How's about I go get you a wheelchair?"

"How about you remember what I told you about my hand and your neck?" was Danny's snarky, testy response.

"Ok, brah, okay. Just tryin' to help," Kamekona answered, hands raised in front of him.

After a rest, Danny finally managed to get back to his room and promptly fell into an exhausted sleep. Kamekona stayed and once Danny awoke again, they played a couple games of chess. When Danny won two matches in less than 10 moves, Kamekona called it quits. He stayed, however and kept the injured blond company for a couple more hours, keeping him from going completely stir crazy.

That evening, Steve brought Grace to see her dad for only the second time since Danny had been so viciously attacked. Worried and concerned for his health, she was both eager and anxious to see him. There was no hesitation, however, when she stepped through the door and saw him sitting in the chair, dressed in gym shorts and a plaid button up that was easier to get on than a t-shirt. His arm was bound tightly to his chest in order to prevent any jostling of his arm, which could cause the open wound in his back to bleed profusely again.

"Danno!" she exclaimed while a matching cry of "Monkey" escaped her father's lips.

She hurried to him and bent down and gave him a careful but heartfelt hug. Danny buried his head in her hair and breathed in her familiar and beloved scent as he mouthed a thank you to Steve. "I love you Monkey," he said as she pulled away.

"Love you more," she replied in the familiar routine that had become a beloved tradition years ago and brought a goofy grin to Steve's face every time he witnessed it. She hopped up onto the empty bed so Steve could take the other chair. "How are you feeling, Danno? I've been so worried about you."

"I'm doing better now, Monkey. Please don't worry."

"Uncle Steve said they had to operate on your back again." Steve had carefully explained everything to her, and even though she loved and trusted her Uncle Steve, there was nothing in the world like hearing something from her dad.

Danny nodded. "Some infections are very strong, grow very quickly and don't respond well to antibiotics. That was the case with mine. By operating, the surgeon was able to see the infection and remove most of it." He purposely avoided saying they cut it out with a scalpel. "That makes it much harder for the infection to spread and gives the antibiotics and my body a better chance at fighting it off."

"Did it hurt?"

"Not while they were operating."

"But it hurts now, right? Your back hurts a lot." She could see that it did.

Danny hesitated for just a moment. He didn't ever lie to his children, but he tried to soften the truth when he could. "Yes it does, but not as much as it did yesterday so that's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah. What about your arm? You feel anything? Can you move it?"

"No. Not yet."

"What if you never do? How can you do your job with one arm?"

Danny swallowed hard. He hated that his daughter had to deal with these kinds of worries. Danny stole a quick glance at Steve, somehow trying to gain strength from his friend's presence. For his part, Steve had no idea how Danny could even answer that question. He was eternally grateful that Grace hadn't asked it of him and then he wondered if the question had been prompted by something Rachel had said.

"Come here Grace," Danny told his daughter. He reached out his left hand and when she was on her feet he gently tugged her into his lap. She was getting too big for this but neither one seemed to be bothered by it today. "First of all, I don't believe that's going to happen. But, if for some reason it does or if I can't use it enough, then I'll deal with that when the time comes. What you are doing, Monkey, is what your grandma would call 'borrowing trouble.' Right now, I'm focusing on getting well enough to go home, not worrying about my arm."

Grace didn't look convinced. Danno worried about everything. "But…"

Danny cut her off. "No. No buts." He pulled her to his chest with his left arm. "I can still hug you, right? What more do I need?"

Steve was surprised by Danny's answer. It contained none of his usual anxiety or cynicism. Instead it exuded patience and confidence. The odds of him regaining full use of his arm and hand weren't great, but Steve hoped to God that it happened anyway. He hoped to God that the Danny Williams theory of life didn't hold true this time and that this newfound optimism held true instead. For once in his life, his brother deserved a break.

Grace snuggled in close to her father, relishing the strong, comforting embrace of her life-long hero. Then she kissed him on the cheek, rose from his lap and hopped back onto the bed and resumed her interrogation. "Did you catch the guy who did this to you?"

"Uncle Chin and Auntie Kono arrested him."

"Eric helped them find him," Steve added, "after he helped your dad." He avoided using the phrase 'saved his life', not wanting to traumatize the teenager.

"Really? Eric? That is so cool! What did he do?"

Steve, with some input from Danny, told Grace the watered down version of how Eric found and helped her Danno and then helped the team track his attacker's escape. He was just finishing up the tale when Danny said, "Speak of the devil."

Steve looked up as Grace hopped off the bed and ran to her new hero. She now had a roomful of them.

"Hey there Gracie Cake," Eric told her as he enveloped his cousin in a big hug. He then turned to the other occupants of the room. "Hey Uncle D. Hi Steve."

"It's Commander McGarrett," Danny corrected his nephew.

Eric held up his hands and quickly defended himself. "Whoa, hey, relax Uncle D. Steve said that in the hospital we're family and I should call him Steve."

Danny turned to Steve now. "Seriously Steven? Seriously? I finally get him to show some respect and use proper titles and you go and tell him to call you Steve? You know how much work I've put into this kid? He even showers, shaves and brushes his teeth now. Look at him, shining like the star on the top of a Christmas tree."

"Uh Danno?" Grace interrupted Danny's rant.

"Yes Monkey?"

"I don't think Eric is shining because of you."

"Gracie Cake!" Eric warned.

"You don't huh?"

"Nope. Eric has a girlfriend," Grace revealed, ignoring her cousin's warning.

"You little devil," Danny laughed, turning to Eric. "Don't tell me you got Tiffany to actually go out with you."

Eric puffed up with pride. "Sure did, Uncle D."

"Well I'll be…" Danny cut himself off before he said something he shouldn't in front of his daughter.

"Who's Tiffany?" Steve asked.

"One of my students."

"Ah, one of your students. Okay, Professor Plum," Steve teased.

Danny laughed at the teasing. "Yep. Much smarter than she looks, too. Eric says she's a ten."

"She'd be a twelve in Jersey," Eric added.

Steve grinned. "Better material here, huh?" He always enjoyed the Hawaii/New Jersey competition, actually he enjoyed all competition, but that was a different story.

"Only because she'd have to be wearing a sweater and a parka in Jersey," Eric explained, his eyes and his smile growing wide. "In Hawaii…"

"We get the idea Eric," Danny said with a nod toward his precious teenage daughter. She didn't need to hear where this was going. He looked at her now. "How's school Monkey?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Okay I guess? You love school. What's the matter?"

"I messed up an assignment yesterday. Didn't hear the directions right. Ms. Kalua said I could fix it and hand it in tomorrow because she knows I was worried about you. But, she said I shouldn't worry because you're tough and strong." Grace smiled now with a sparkle in her eye. She really did believe that her teacher liked her dad.

"Sounds like your teacher…" Steve started with a grin on his face.

"Don't say it Steven," Danny interrupted as Grace laughed. "Don't you dare say it."

They all spoke for a while until Steve noticed that Danny was becoming quiet and still. He was clearly beginning to hurt too much sitting upright and trying to interact. It took a lot out of him. He knew that Danny had pushed himself past his limit for his daughter's sake, maybe even for his nephew's sake as well. It was admirable, but it wasn't good for Danny's recovery. "Oh look," he said casually. "It's almost time for your PT."

Eric and Grace both caught the hint and moved to say their goodbyes. Eric would bring Grace home so Steve could stay to attend Danny's PT session.

Once they left Danny noticed the real time. He knew Steve had done it on purpose so he could rest but that didn't mean he had to like it. Well, he did appreciate it, but he wouldn't say that. He'd show his appreciation his own unique way. He turned to Steve. "We have another hour before PT. Didn't they teach you how to tell time in the army?"

"Navy, Danny."

"Whatever. Might as well take a nap since you sent my daughter away, then I don't have to look at your Neanderthal mug for the next hour."

Steve knew a Danny thank you when he heard one. "You're welcome Danny."

"Well, are you going to help me out of this damn chair or not?"


	29. Chapter 29

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N Gold stars to bswindle20, storyfan101 and detectivejiju who got the Scott tip in the last chapter. The tip of the hat to Scott was the line "I'll drop you like third period French." Scott's character, Turk Malloy, said that line in Ocean's Eleven and according to the movie's writer that was Scott's ad-lib. The writer loved the line, by the way.

A/N Last week's new episode planted a little scene in my head so look for that today as well. Based on the episode title I'll call it The Good Soldier.

A/N 9th night and 10th day

H50 H50 H50

When Steve left after the physical therapy session Danny was exhausted. Finally out of ICU and finally back on an unrestricted diet and finally becoming mobile again all were monumental events. It had been a wonderful but long day. Kamekona's visit and the subsequent long walk, the visit from Grace and Eric and Steve and even the physical therapy that they had now begun again had all been joyous and welcomed distractions for Danny. The doctors were slowly increasing the pain meds and Danny felt like they were finally alleviating some of the pain. He fell asleep easily that night.

Fatigued from the day, Danny slept peacefully for several hours before the nightmare came.

 _Danny was standing at the whiteboard writing some notes in preparation for the class. The door opened and he said he'd be done in a minute. Then something caught his attention and he turned and he saw the knife, gleaming and shining, swinging down towards him. He tried to move but it struck him in the back and then straight through him and came out through his chest. He stood there staring at the blood dripping down his chest, feeling the blood drip down his back. He couldn't move, couldn't move at all._

 _And then the knife wasn't there anymore. He was still bleeding but the knife wasn't in him. He still couldn't move. Then Grace appeared standing next to him and Charlie appeared in his arms and the knife came down again. He needed to protect them but he couldn't move and the knife went into his back again and came out the front again and it almost hit Charlie who was in his arms and it almost hit Grace who was huddled close to him. He could feel pain but couldn't move anything. And then the knife was gone again and he was still bleeding and hurting and then the knife plunged into him again and out the front again and this time it was closer to Charlie and closer to Grace. So close, so very close, too close._

 _And then the knife was gone again and he was still bleeding and still hurting and then the knife buried into him again and he knew this time it wasn't just close, this time it would hit his beloved children. But he couldn't move. He couldn't do anything. The knife was moving through him, tearing through flesh and muscle and tendons and nerves. It was heading towards his children. Grace! Charlie! He needed to shield them. He needed to protect his children and he was useless, totally and completely useless. The knife was tearing through to his chest now. His children were right there. He couldn't stop the knife, couldn't move his children. Couldn't do anything. Couldn't protect them. Nooooooooooo!_

Danny found himself sitting up in bed, breathing hard, heart racing. Grace! Charlie! He thought he had heard someone shout. Had it been him? He thought maybe it was. Then he remembered the knife, the knife that was about to reach his children. Grace! Charlie! Where were they? He looked around. His precious children. Where were they? He had to protect them. They were his life. Where were they? He needed to protect them. He looked around, trying to get his bearings. His heart was beating wildly and he was finding it hard to breathe. Breathe, he told himself, you have to find your children. Have to protect them.

He worked at drawing in a deep breath and that's when it hit him. A deep, agonizing, excruciating pain burst through his back sending tendrils of aching awareness through his chest, across his shoulders, up through his neck, into his head. Piercing, burning, stabbing. The pain was all consuming and it enveloped him like a shroud. It tried to draw him under, pull him away to the dark place where he had spent too many days. He couldn't let that happen. Grace and Charlie needed him. Battling the pain and the miasma of confusion that enveloped him he looked around the dark room, lit only by the ambient light coming from under the door. He peered into the shadows, trying to find his children, trying to find the threat.

The door opened and light filled the room. "Danny?" the night nurse said gently.

Danny suddenly became aware of where he was and why he was here and what had just happened. It was a dream, a lousy, stinking nightmare. It had seemed so real. "Grace. Charlie." Danny whispered, leaning on his left hand as he sat in the bed, trembling.

"Bad dream?" the nurse asked quietly.

"What? Yeah. I don't know. I guess so." It had seemed so real, so damn real.

"Try and relax. Your heart rate is very high. Your respirations are much too rapid and shallow."

Danny had no idea what she was talking about. She was talking too fast, her words sounded warped and twisted. "What?"

She moved to him now and put one hand on his left shoulder and the other behind his neck. "You need to lie down," she said as she helped him do just that.

He groaned at the movement, the pain in his back pulsating relentlessly. The pain had been bearable most of the day as the pain meds had been increased but the sudden jarring movement as he bolted upright in bed caused a surge in pain that the meds couldn't handle.

She helped him lie down on his left side. She moved the pillows to prop him up and her attention was drawn to the packed, open wound on his back. There was fresh, red blood on the dressings. That would need to be repacked with clean dressings by the doctor when he checked Danny's vitals. "Try and rest," she said. "I'll page the doctor."

Rest; Danny almost laughed at that. His heart was beating a mile a minute, how could he rest? His mind kept going back to the bad dream – a true nightmare. Trying to shake those disturbing images from his head he thought back to the reason he was in this hospital in the first place.

This was an undercover assignment that he hadn't been thrilled with taking. First of all, the man he was replacing had been murdered. It's not that Danny was a coward, far from it, but he was an intelligent, rational human being and knew there was a distinct element of danger involved. Secondly, the idea of being a college professor was a bit overwhelming. Sure he knew criminal procedure and how to be a cop, he had worked really hard at that. But to teach it to college students, that was a whole different ball game.

But, it needed to be done and he was the best option for many reasons. Most importantly though, Danny never backed down from a challenge so he had stepped into the role and embraced the task of becoming a college professor and teaching a college level course. When Danny did something, he gave it all he had and did the best he could. Anything worth doing was worth doing well. So he had studied the curriculum, studied the dead professor's teaching plan and battled the self-doubt and anxiety. Concurrently, he spoke to people, made observations, read through papers left by his dead predecessor and gathered and sorted and mentally catalogued information and clues until he had come up with a working theory of who had killed the man and why. And when he got too close, the same young man who had killed their victim had stabbed Danny in the back and rendered his right arm useless. Whether it was temporary or permanent or somewhere in between wasn't known yet.

Damn! The thought of never using his arm again terrified him - not as much as the thought of not being able to protect his kids but it was scary nonetheless.

Trembling, enveloped in pain, heart pounding, breathing coming in short gasps, Danny closed his eyes and tried to relax.

The young doctor who was covering the night shift was thorough and kind and knowledgeable and communicated well, yet was still unable to assuage his anxiety. She confirmed that his heart rate, respirations and blood pressure were all too high. She determined that they would improve when he settled down from the horrid nightmare. She then cleaned and repacked the open wound, and told him to get some sleep. At his request, she turned the light off and closed the door on her way out.

By the time Kono came in the morning, he had only slept in fits and starts. His breathing had settled fairly quickly but his heart just didn't seem to want to slow down, no matter how many relaxation and breathing techniques he tried. He was dog-tired and his head hurt but he tried not to let it show. His Five-0 ohana worried about him enough already. He didn't need to make it worse by complaining about a night interrupted by a nightmare. Kono, however, couldn't quite be fooled. "You look tired, brah. Nurses keep you up last night?"

Danny smiled tiredly. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Ooooh, was she young and hot?" Kono asked with a raised eyebrow and a leer as she perched her hip on the side of Danny's bed.

"Nearing retirement and about as hot as an iceberg."

"Oh," Kono laughed. "Bummer."

Danny then asked what day it was and upon Kono's answer, he grunted in irritation.

"Yeah, other boss, you've been here 10 days," Kono commiserated.

"Don't care about that." He squeezed his forehead, trying to alleviate some of the headache. "Got tickets to take Grace to that concert, that boy band that the girls all like. How do I tell her she can't go?"

He sounded so depressed and so forlorn, it made Kono want to cry. "You still have a few days. You'll make it."

Danny gave her a withering look. "Seriously Kono? I know you're trying to be optimistic, but even when I do get out of here I'll be in no shape for a concert." He was in too much pain for that. He swallowed hard and his voice got heavy with emotion. "This sucks. Really and truly sucks."

Kono was quiet, instinctively realizing that Danny needed to get this out.

"Grace left so many messages on my phone while I was out of it. I don't know how many times a day, just to say she loves me. She never asks for anything from me, never seems to mind that I can't give her what StepStan does and the one time I manage to get her something instead of him…" He growled in frustration.

"Danny, she knows you love her more than anything. That's what matters to her."

Danny wasn't really listening. He was tired, angry, frustrated and in pain. "But I don't want her to miss it. Rachel won't take her. She gets too nervous about concerts. Took her to see Springsteen one time; she almost broke my hand." He sighed dejectedly.

"Isn't there anybody else?"

Danny rubbed his forehead. This headache he'd been battling all week was now getting worse. He could barely think straight. "Oh sure, I could ask StepStan," he answered with disdain.

"I could take her," Kono offered. "I mean, if you wanted me to."

Danny looked at her, hope blooming in his pain-filled eyes. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Actually, I'd enjoy it. I love Grace, and I enjoy the band. It would be a pleasure."

"What about Adam?"

"He's not into boy bands. I'll take her."

Danny grinned. "Smart a**." He looked at her carefully. "You sure?"

"A hundred percent sure. And before you say it, you didn't ask, I offered. We'll have a blast. I'm just sorry you're missing out, brah."

Danny shook his head. "I don't really mind missing the concert. It's the time with Grace… But she'll be so excited to share that time with you. Thanks Kono. You have no idea how much this means to me."

She had a very good idea how much it meant to him. She beamed. "I'll send you a picture."

He rubbed his hands across his eyes. "You better send lots of pictures."

Despite the excellent resolution to the problem, by the time Kono's short visit was over, Danny's headache had ramped up several more notches and it continued a steady climb after that. He curled up on his side and worked on riding it out.

Later that morning, back at the Palace, the team was gathering around the smart table for a preliminary discussion on the latest case. Steve was finishing up a phone call and stepped out of his office to join them, a frown on his face.

"What's the matter, Steve?" Chin asked.

"That was Clara. Danny's mother," he explained to Abby. "She said she's been trying to call him for a while now and he's not answering. He seem okay to you this morning?" he asked of Kono.

"He looked tired. Finally admitted he hadn't slept well. Then he was all upset because he has tickets to take Grace to the concert."

"Oh crap, yeah. He's been talking about that for a month," Steve replied. "They'll both be crushed to miss it."

"No worries, boss. I'm going to take her for him." She grinned. "Better than him having to ask 'StepStan' to take her."

"That's for sure," Chin agreed before adding, "Sounds like he had a rough night and a rough morning. He's probably napping now."

That seemed to appease their nerves and they began to discuss the case.

Over an hour later when they finished talking and assignments had been handed out to everybody, Steve glanced at his watch. "I'm going to go have lunch with Danny. Call me if anything comes up."

After Steve stepped out the door, Lou joked about Steve going to check on Danny. "I'm surprised he lasted this long without checking on his spouse."

Lou was usually the first one to joke about Danny and Steve's 'marriage' and it was getting on Chin's nerves. "Danny is his best friend. He almost died, twice, has a virulent infection and has had multiple setbacks," Chin pointed out. "Of course he's worried about him. You know they've pumped five units of blood into him in the last 10 days?"

"Five?" Kono asked, surprised. "Wow."

"I'm worried about him too, man," Lou offered.

"Well, just lay off the marriage jokes. It's no joke to watch somebody you care about that much go through something like this." Chin felt overwhelmed by it himself.

Kono immediately thought of how Chin had lost Malia. This was really hard on him, too. "Hey cous, he's your best friend, too. If you want to go see him, we can hold down the fort," she offered for herself, Lou and Abby.

Chin let out a long sigh. "No, it's okay. No need for both of us to be there. But thanks Kono." But he couldn't help checking the time to see how long it had been since Steve had left.

Steve stepped into Danny's room and spotted his lunch tray sitting on the table, untouched. Danny's back was to the door so he moved over to the other side of the bed to get a look at him. His eyes were closed but his forehead was deeply creased in pain. "Danny?" he whispered. He touched his forehead. Not burning up but still running a fever. When there was no reply, he tried a bit louder. "Danny?"

From the bed, Danny groaned. His eyelids fluttered but didn't open. "Stop shouting, will ya?"

That surprised Steve as he had been trying to keep his voice down. "Okay, buddy. No shouting," he whispered. Danny had been doing so well and they thought he had turned the corner. What was going on now? It looked like more than just taking a nap.

"Thanks. Jus' wanna sleep."

Steve eyed the lunch tray. "Lunch is here, you think you could eat something?"

Danny pried his eyes open and looked blearily at Steve. "I'm sure I could eat something." He paused and swallowed thickly. "Problem would be keeping it down."

"You're nauseous?"

"There's three of you in a spinning room. You'd be nauseous too SuperSEAL."

Steve didn't like the sound of that. "Danny, buddy, I'm going to go get the doctor in here. Okay?"

"Don't bother," Danny croaked out.

"He can help you," Steve huffed.

Danny opened his eyes again and pressed the heel of his hand against his forehead in a futile attempt to battle the pain that had taken up residence in his head. "It's the damn pain meds again."

"Crap. So I'll go find the doctor and have him lower the dose again."

"Already did," Danny muttered. "Few hours ago. Back hurts like a bitch now." He paused and swallowed again. Damn nausea. "Takes time for the blood pressure to even out." He pressed his hand into his forehead again.

"How's your head?" Steve knew that when his blood pressure shot up the first time Danny suffered horrendous headaches. The muscle relaxant he was taking to help take an edge off the pain was causing headaches as well.

"Like your army buddies are doing artillery drills in there."

Steve winced at the image. Sounded horrendous. He hated to have to lay this on Danny now but he had little choice. "Look buddy, your Mom called me…"

Worried for his family, Danny's eyes shot open and he raised his head. Bad move, everything spun faster, but he swallowed back the nausea and battled through. "Everything okay?"

"Relax, she was worried about you. Tried to call all morning and you didn't answer."

Danny groaned and looked at his cell phone on the table next to him. Steve didn't need to be asked. He picked it up and checked for his friend. "You missed quite a few other calls this morning too."

"Grace?"

"No," Steve answered.

That was a relief. Danny never wanted to worry his monkey.

Steve spoke again. "Chin a couple times. Eric. Dr. Shaw." Steve refrained from teasing Danny about that. Didn't seem the time. He read through the rest of the list. "You want me to call your Mom back; tell her you were sleeping?"

"No, she'll just worry more. I'll call her." He took the phone but couldn't quite focus. He sighed, frustrated. "Just tell me which keypad I'm supposed to use."

Steve smirked sadly as he took the phone and found the right number, dialed it and handed it back.

"Mom?" Danny said almost immediately, his voice a groggy grumble. His mother must have been waiting anxiously for his call. "Sorry. I was sleeping."

Steve stepped out into the hallway and made a call of his own. "Steve, how is he?" was how Chin anxiously answered his call.

"What, no 'hello Steve'?"

"You've been hanging around Danny too long," was Chin's ready reply to the mildly snarky comment. "How is he?"

"Looks like they hit the threshold with the pain meds. Has a helluva headache, nausea. No appetite."

"Déjà vu," Chin sighed. "Did you tell the doctor to cut back the pain meds again?"

"Danny already did that. So until his blood pressure settles he's got the headache and the back pain combo package again."

"He hasn't caught one break," Chin lamented for their friend. "Other than being alive, not one break."


	30. Chapter 30

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N 11th day

H50 H50 H50

By the next morning Danny's headache had settled to a dull roar again and he was back on the road to recovery. His surgeon was getting set up to change the packing in Danny's wound. There was a knock at the door. With the privacy curtain drawn neither doctor nor patient could see who was there, but they heard a female voice. "You decent in there? Should I come back?"

Danny knew the voice but couldn't quite place who it was right away. He was saved from the trouble of asking when the voice immediately continued. "It's Mindy."

He smiled. "Come on in." When she stepped through the curtain, Danny introduced Dr. Shaw to the young surgeon, who then proceeded to explain what he was doing as a professional courtesy. Danny was lying on his stomach and the doctor, wearing surgical gloves, stood by the side of the bed nearest the wound. There was a bed pad under Danny's chest and a tray held an array of equipment and supplies.

Mindy began watching in fascination as the doctor removed the packing from the wound. She stepped in for a closer look when he pulled a light over and began searching the wound for hidden pockets of infection. Seeing Danny flinch and hearing his stifled groans as the doctor probed, she soon stepped away from the object of her interest and moved to the object of her affection.

Sitting in the chair by the bed she looked directly into Danny's face. His eyes were closed. She longed to reach out and touch him, brush the hair from his eyes, wipe the sweat from his face, offer a comforting squeeze of his hand but none of that seemed appropriate and she found herself wondering where that desire came from. She and Danny were friends, nothing more. He had a girlfriend while theirs was simply a professional relationship that had tendrils of friendship as well.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, feeling odd sitting there watching him silently. "And spare me the macho 'I'm fine' line because clearly you're not."

Danny opened his eyes and looked at his friend. That's the way he saw her, not simply a colleague, but a friend. A sharp pain made him gasp as the doctor hit a particularly sensitive spot. He heard her say his name again and he focused past the pain and on to her. "To tell you the truth, it really hurts, especially when they're doing this." He gasped and lurched again.

"Sorry," the doctor said. "Patients don't usually feel all this."

"They cut my pain relief in half," Danny ground out to Mindy as way of explanation.

"He was having a bad reaction to it," the doctor explained further. "Dangerously high blood pressure and heart rate. Had to do something to bring it down. I did use a local, but it doesn't help when the infection is deep."

Mindy nodded. She was a doctor; she understood.

"So now the good doc is playing what amounts to a real life game of Operation," Danny explained. "Grace has that game. She beats me every time." Danny jumped and gasped again. "At the rate you're going, Doc, she'd beat you too."

"Danny!" Mindy laughed. "Don't you think you should be a bit nicer to a man with a scalpel in his hand?"

"Mindy!" Danny mimicked. "I AM being nice. He's a menace."

The doctor merely laughed as he continued. Danny had been under his care long enough now for him to understand the man's ways. He found it refreshing.

"You are incorrigible," Mindy said with a smile. She found it refreshing too.

Danny grinned through the pain. "Don't you forget it."

Mindy glanced at the doctor's work. He was irrigating the wound now. "Well, he's almost done so just hang in there."

They stayed there, just looking at each other in companionable silence, while the doctor packed the wound and finished up. "It's beginning to look better. Heading in the right direction at least," the doctor assured them. "Still a ways to go though, I'm afraid."

"Thanks Doc," Danny told him.

"I'll send the nurse in to help you turn over," the doctor told Danny before offering his hand to Mindy. "Pleased to meet you, Dr. Shaw. I don't believe I've ever seen you around here before."

"Probably because I don't work here," Mindy replied as she shook his hand. "I'm a Medical Examiner. Detective Williams and I are colleagues."

"I've always been interested in autopsies," the doctor told her. "Closest I've gotten was anatomy class in med school. Perhaps I could persuade you to allow me to observe your work one day?"

"Hey doc," Danny cut in, finding himself inexplicably annoyed by his doctor's attention to Mindy. "Don't forget to ask the nurse to come in, huh?"

"Oh yes, of course," the doctor assured him. The doctor smiled at Mindy. "It's been a pleasure Dr. Shaw."

As the doctor made his retreat, Danny looked at Mindy. "You make friends quickly. And here I thought it was my wit and charm that made us friends."

"It takes more than a handshake to make a friendship Danny," Mindy assured him as she looked at him and smiled. "Like caring enough to realize when someone is down and to offer help."

Danny knew she was referring to the time he realized that one murder victim was affecting her deeply. With his gentle prodding she revealed that the young woman reminded her of a deceased friend. Danny then offered advice on how to deal with the stress. A friendship was born. "Anytime."

"Now, sounds like you need some help getting comfortable again," Mindy said. "What can I do?"

"Not quite sure," Danny said. "Between the pain in my back, the open wound and this useless arm, rolling over is quite a process. The nurses have a system that works pretty well. They know what they're doing. I'm still trying to learn it."

Two nurses then walked in, saving Danny from having to try and explain it. Gritting his teeth, he managed to stifle most of his groans through the painful process and was none too soon settled on his left side. Sitting up and putting pressure on his back was definitely too painful immediately after the procedure the doctor just completed. As they left, one nurse told him that she'd be back in a half hour to apply the warm compresses.

With the repositioning, Danny was now facing the other side of the bed, so Mindy moved over there. "Hello again," she said with a smile. "Finally alone."

"Not for long, I'm sure," Danny complained. "With only a half dose of pain meds they've come up with a whole wagon load of other things to do to help with the pain. They do help some but it seems like they're always in here doing something."

"As long as it's helping."

"Yeah. Thanks for coming. This is a pleasant surprise."

"I was shocked when Max told me what happened. I would have come a few days ago but then he said you weren't up to having visitors. I brought you a present," she said as she reached for her large satchel.

"Don't tell me you have a flower arrangement or balloons in there like Mary Poppins or something."

Mindy laughed. "No. I figured you to be the more practical type." She brought out a gift wrapped present.

"Mindy…"

"Just open it, will you? Incorrigible, I'm telling you." She laughed.

With the gift in front of him on the bed Danny managed to pull the paper off with his left hand. Picking up the box inside Danny read the packaging. Automatic toothpaste dispenser with electric toothbrush.

"Thanks Mindy, but, uh, you trying to tell me something?" he smirked.

Mindy laughed. "Yes actually. I'm trying to tell you that, even though you WILL get the use of your arm back…" Danny smiled and nodded at that as she went on, "… eventually, in the meantime you can learn a few tricks to help you out."

Danny was dumbstruck. What an incredibly kind and thoughtful thing to do. "Mindy, that's..." He was stuck for words. Sarcasm and acerbity were his usual method of communicating thankfulness but Mindy had become a friend. They had confided in each other and now knew they could trust each other. This woman and this gift deserved something different and Danny wasn't quite sure what or how. "Thank you. Really." He shook his head the best he could lying on his side. "Damn, I don't know what to say. Oh, sorry about the language."

Mindy smiled. She always seemed to be smiling. When she wasn't, Danny knew there was something wrong. "It's okay Danny."

"No, no, it's not okay. A lady shouldn't hear that kind of language."

"I work in a police station. I hear it all."

"Not from me."

And he was right, Mindy thought. Danny was always a gentleman in front of her. She had overheard some of his colorful language at crime scenes, but he never used it when he knew she was around.

"No worries," she assured him. "Now, how are you feeling? That open wound must be rather uncomfortable."

"You are the queen of understatement."

"That bad?"

"Nah, it's no big deal, really."

Mindy could tell he was lying, trying to be the tough guy and not admit the pain. "Whatever you say."

"I thought about you the other day. They had to put an oxygen mask on me…"

Mindy cringed, knowing about his claustrophobia. "That must have been awful."

"Well, not so bad, thanks to you. I kept remembering the things you told me in that elevator. That it's a glitch. How to breathe. You weren't there so I had to focus on Steve so it wasn't exactly the same but, it helped."

"He's a good friend," Mindy said.

"Yes he is," Danny agreed before adding, "I'm really glad you came."

True to her word, the nurse came in and placed the soothing warm compresses on Danny and then left the room.

They continued to talk, with Mindy continually presenting a positive and encouraging attitude. Always speaking with the utmost confidence that he would recover fully, including the use of his arm and hand. As a doctor she knew that it was a very distinct possibility that he would not recover full use or even any use but she was here as a friend. As a doctor she would have had to watch her speech so as not to give the wrong impression. As a friend, though, she would be as supportive and encouraging as possible. It was a truly uplifting visit and it left Danny in a very good frame of mind.

\- H50 H50 -

As Danny continued to gain strength, Steve and Chin came in the evenings to learn the daily stretches and massages that needed to be done when he went home. In order to make sure that it would be done right, today Steve was doing the job himself as the therapist supervised – in stunned silence. Danny was pale and sweating with the sheer overwhelming pain of it, but he would never tell Steve to stop. He would, however, say a few other choice words.

"You are such a Neanderthal animal," Danny shouted as Steve stretched Danny's arm out to the side. "A crazy, psycho freakl!"

"Damn, that hurts!" he ground out as Steve forced Danny's arm to stretch over his head. Then he added with a suggestive laugh. "But oh, give me more, babe." Danny was not going to give in to the pain.

"Wipe that goofy grin off your face, you schmuck," he said another time.

The severity of the lambasting seemed to correspond with the level of pain being inflicted. The therapist was surprised as Steve took the words with a huge smile. Chin just watched with a knowing smirk and shake of his head.

Danny continued the rhetoric. "There is something seriously wrong with you. You are truly and utterly demented, you big gorilla."

"You're enjoying this. You are friggin' enjoying this, you psycho animal," Danny shouted at Steve as the latest stretch brought tears to Danny's eyes.

Then Steve began the deep tissue massage. "That all you got, Princess?" Danny asked, his voice just a pained whisper.

A/N I know the PT part doesn't exactly flow well, but I didn't want to actually bore you with a PT session, so, well… we just get some Danny-ness.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N There's a tip of the hat to the whole cast in this one.

A/N A super big thank you to swifters who helped me fix the last part of this chapter. Any mistakes are mine, though.

A/N Day 13

H50 H50 H50

The entire team, including Eric, Max and Jerry, had been busy with a case and none of them had stopped by for two days. Neither Steve nor Chin had even made it in for Danny's PT. It was after dinner already and they hadn't called at all today other than an early morning check-in from Steve that had gone to Danny's voicemail while he slept. And, no visit from the team meant no visit from Grace because Rachel wouldn't bring her. Danny was going crazy with worry and boredom and, now that he was no longer connected to any machines, catheters or IV's, he had taken to walking the halls in order to avoid climbing the walls in his room.

Feeling collectively guilty about leaving Danny alone for so long and feeling collectively happy that they had closed another case successfully, the team decided that they would all surprise Danny with a visit.

Stepping into the room, they were all surprised by the sight of the empty bed. Chin moved quickly to check the bathroom. "He's not here," he said, "but check this out." He came out with something in his hands.

"What is that?" Lou asked.

"Not quite sure," Chin replied.

Kono picked up a box that was sitting behind a chair and waved it around. "Automatic Toothpaste dispenser with Electric Toothbrush" was written on the box. "Well, isn't that cute," she said.

Steve wasn't paying attention to the joking. He was checking his phone to see if he had missed a message saying that Danny's PT time had been changed. Finding nothing there he hustled out to the nurse's station. "Hi Waiola," he greeted one of the nurses he had spoken to many times over the more than a week that Danny had been in the regular room.

"Oh hi Steve. Haven't seen you here lately."

"Work's been kind of busy. Do you know where Danny is? Did they change his PT appointment or something?"

"I don't think so. He's probably taking another walk."

Steve raised his eyebrows at that. "He's by himself?"

"Ever since the doctor gave him permission to walk by himself he's been doing it. Can barely get him to stop "

Wow, Steve thought, I've missed a lot. "So, he's doing well?"

"If you had actually bothered to show your face around here, you'd know the answer to that, you animal," came Danny's voice from behind him, bringing a broad grin to h is face.

As Steve turned, another voice was heard from the doorway. "Danny!" Chin said. "You're looking much better, brah!"

Danny smiled. He was definitely beginning to feel better and seeing his teammates all in one piece (well, four pieces if you want to get technical, he thought randomly), alleviated the worry that had been nagging at him. "I see my Neanderthal partner didn't get any of you shot, blown up or beat up. Did you actually catch the bad guy or just take a few days off?"

"Nice to see you too, Danny," Steve said with a fond smile. He missed this when Danny wasn't there.

Kono and Lou stepped out of the room as well and all four healthy team members took stock of their friend. He had made a marked improvement in the two days since they'd seen him. This was the first time they had seen him walking on his own and unattached to any medical equipment since he'd been attacked. The color was returning to his face and the glossy haze to his eyes was gone. His right arm was still bound securely to his chest with a special sling. Upon closer scrutiny, however, they noticed that his left hand was holding on to the railing with a death grip and that pain lines creased his forehead.

"What do we keep telling you about overdoing it Danny?" Waiola scolded him as she peered over the counter.

"I'm fine," Danny groused.

"Fine, my a**," Lou disagreed.

"Come on pal, let's get you back in bed," Steve said, taking up one side of Danny protectively as Chin took the other.

"I spend the whole damn day in bed," Danny grumbled as they headed back to his room. However, being honest with himself he was exhausted and really did need to get off his feet.

"According to Waiola, you've spent most of the day walking," Steve countered.

"What else is there to do? I can finally stay awake for more than 15 minutes at a time and there's nothing to do. Nothing. Not a soul to talk to except the doctor and nurses who come in for a few minutes and poke and prod. Makes me wish I had a roommate in here. Give me somebody to talk to. I can't keep calling my family because my phone bill this month is already larger than the National debt. Grace is in school and television - you ever watch daytime television? There are soap operas - the acting is bad, and my own life is a soap opera, far crazier than anything they can come up with. Then there are the talk shows where all the women can find out all the gossip about their favorite celebrity. Makes me happy I'm a nobody. Who would want that kind of attention? Oh, then there are the shows where they help the people in bad relationships. Way too depressing because nothing comes close to being as messed up as my ex hiding my son from me for three years, right in …" Danny's voice, which had slowly faded as he spoke, finally faltered completely.

"I guess you are feeling better," Kono said as Danny's finished his rant. It had been too long since she heard one.

They were in the room now and Steve and Chin helped their friend into the bed. "Well, we're here now so you have some people to talk to. You can start by explaining this," Lou held up the Toothpaste dispenser they had spotted in the bathroom. He figured it was a good little diversion from Danny's grumbly mood.

"What about it?" Danny replied, settled in the bed and holding his right shoulder as if that would help the pain in his back go away. "Ever try to put toothpaste on a toothbrush one handed? I mean completely one handed. Normal people with their arm in a sling can at least hold the damn toothbrush still. Not me. I can't even do that. Nothing normal about my life."

Well, that took some of the fun out of the teasing. "But how did you get it? The hospital give it to you?" Chin asked. It was an innocent enough question.

That made Danny think of Mindy. A small smile crossed his face.

"You're blushing," Kono accused.

"No I'm not."

"Then where did you get it, brah?" Chin asked again.

Danny hesitated.

"Oh, this is gunna be good," Lou said.

"It's not that big of a deal," Danny replied. Noticing a box on the table that wasn't there before, he went on. "I see somebody brought Cards Against Humanity. I'm ready. Let's play."

"You're not getting off that easy, partner," Steve said.

"I just want to play the game you schmuck. What's the matter with that?"

"You're deflecting," Steve accused.

"I'm not deflecting Dr. Freud. Let's play." He reached for the box, but Steve pulled it out of his reach and Danny lunged a bit too hard for it. He stopped with a grimace. "What the hell's the matter with you?" he ground out to Steve around the pain in his back. "Let's just play the damn game."

"Not until you tell us where you got that thing," Steve demanded as he held the box away from his partner.

"Are you serious? What's your obsession with it? Dr. Shaw brought it, okay. Big freakin' deal."

"Oh, so it's back to Dr. Shaw, not Mindy?" Steve asked.

"What are you talking about?" Danny asked, a bit ruffled by now.

"A few days ago you were calling her Mindy," Steve said, pushing Danny's buttons.

"A few days ago I wasn't even awake."

"Oh, but you were talking," Steve assured him with a smirk. "Rambling deliriously might be more accurate though."

"Shut up and open the game Neanderthal or I'm taking a nap."

"First you complain because I haven't been here and now you're going to take a nap?" Steve huffed.

"I see that counseling hasn't done a thing…," Lou said.

Chin shot Lou a look, which stopped the marriage joke flat.

"Let's just play," Kono said, taking the box from Steve. She didn't see what the big deal was about Dr. Shaw giving Danny a very practical present.

Steve began to object when Chin spoke up. "Let it go Steve."

With a sigh, Steve gave in.

The cards were dealt and it was determined that Lou was the card czar. He read the first black card. " - blank -. That's how I want to die."

"Veto," Danny said.

"What?" Lou asked.

"I'm vetoing the question," Danny said, pointing to the card in Lou's hand.

"You can't do that," Lou said.

"Well, I just did. Toss the card. It's a stupid question."

"Just pick a new question, Lou," Chin encouraged, understanding that it wasn't exactly a laughing matter for Danny right now.

Understanding dawning on him, Lou complied and picked another card and read it out loud. "When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate – blank -."

Kono laughed instantly as she threw a white card down that read 'Keanu Reeves.' "I think Max put that card in there."

\- H50 H50 -

Day 15

Danny continued to improve and finally the doctor was talking about the possibility of him being released and Danny was ecstatic. There was still no feeling or movement whatsoever in his right hand or arm, but he no longer needed the IV's, was taking all of his medication orally and was finally able to move around by himself so he was heading in the right direction.

Melissa stepped off the elevator onto Danny's floor. She wasn't sure she could do this again. She hated hospitals. They scared her. She had seen too many of them in her life. Many people only experienced hospitals for births - a nice, happy occasion. Many people experienced them for a minor illness or procedure – not too bad. But for Melissa, hospitals had always been equated with fear and violence. She took a deep breath. She was here now. It was just a short visit with Danny. He always made her feel so good. She could do this for him. She took a deep breath and headed towards his room.

Stepping into the room she saw him smile broadly at her. She loved that smile. The way his blue eyes sparkled, the way his whole face just relaxed and lit up. "Hi sweetheart," he said.

Then there was that incredible, perpetual bedroom voice he had. It made her knees go weak every time he spoke.

"Hey Jersey," she said as she watched him struggle a bit to sit up straighter in the bed and shakily reach his left arm out to her. It scared her to see him like that, hurting and shaking and weak. He was a strong, dynamic man. This just wasn't right. "How're you feeling?" she asked as he took her hand in his.

"Tired, sore, and itching to get out of here." She knew he was downplaying how poorly he felt. He complained about meaningless things and not about the big stuff.

"How's your arm? Your hand? Any feeling? Any change?"

"Nothing," was his short reply.

"Headaches? Nerve pain?"

"No change there, either." She saw him push his face into a smile. "But hey, I think I'm getting sprung from here today."

"Oh that's wonderful!" she said as she gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"That's it? That's all the celebrating we're going to do?" he complained before tugging her by the hand and pulling her in for a deeper kiss.

She let him kiss her. She loved the feel of his mouth on hers, warm and sexy and hot. Today, it just didn't feel right, though. Not in a hospital, not bruised and broken as he was. Not as scared as she was.

Breaking apart, they discussed what the doctor had said about him being released. Melissa then went about packing Danny's things into his duffle bag. She wanted to get out of this hospital. She picked his clothing up and folded each item carefully before placing it in the bag. She packed up the cards and pictures that Grace and Charlie had made for him. It gave her time to clear her head, time when she could pretend Danny hadn't spent much of the last two weeks near death. His voice startled her out of her musings. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine."

"I thought you'd be happy for me."

"I am. It's great. I'm glad you're feeling better." She kept folding, merely glancing at him when she spoke. The thoughts were swirling around in her head. Danny had been stabbed by her ex a couple years ago. The same man who had put her in the hospital a couple years before that. She had watched Danny fight with her ex, watched him get stabbed. It was terrifying. And now? Now he had been stabbed again. When would the violence end? When would the fear end?

She had been frightened in New York for way too long but she had found peace, happiness and contentment in Hawaii, especially after she met Danny. He was loving and caring and tender and faithful. He was truly a good man and a good father. She was certain he'd make a good husband as well. No, he wasn't perfect, but she still thought Rachel was crazy for leaving him. Things were good with Danny. After Frank's death she felt completely safe for the first time in many years.

Then Danny's brother was killed and Danny was sullen and withdrawn and aloof. Then he had been arrested and sent to a Colombian prison for murder. He came back bloody, bruised and broken. It was terrifying. And now this.

She wanted peace in her life. She needed peace in her life. She couldn't do this. She couldn't stand here pretending she wasn't scared out of her mind.

"Why don't you come sit with me? We have time to finish that later." He reached his hand out to her again but she didn't react. She couldn't. "Melissa?"

"Danny, we have to talk."


	32. Chapter 32

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N The tip of the hat to the cast in the last chapter was the game Cards Against Humanity. In an interview, Daniel Dae Kim said that between takes the cast enjoys playing that game together, a rather R rated version from what he said. As for the questions and the Keanu Reeves card, they're all in there. I've never played the game but I pulled a few cards out of a friend's game and those were the first question cards I saw. Decided I'd work with them. Keanu Reeves was about the 4th answer card I read. Worked for me.

A/N A really, really, really tough tip of the hat to Scott in this one, so I'll give a little clue. It's just one word. One word he said in an interview that took the interviewer by surprise and made me crack up. I used the word in the same context he said it.

A/N We get some answers about Melissa in this one. Since I'm writing this story as I go, I will take your opinions about Melissa into consideration as I proceed.

A/N A super big thank you to swifters who helped me fix this chapter. It just wasn't working right and her honest critiques and insights were invaluable. Thank you swifters. You're amazing. I hope everybody likes the result. As always, any mistakes are mine, though.

A/N Day 15

H50 H50 H50

Melissa saw Danny's eyes go wide, saw him swallow hard. "What's going on?" she heard him ask.

Crossing her arms nervously, she looked at him. She couldn't speak to him about the violence, how it scared her, how it made her skin crawl, how it made all kinds of thoughts twirl around in her head. She thought she wanted to, but now she couldn't. But, she needed to say something and she spoke without thinking. "Why did you take so long to tell me about Charlie?"

She saw Danny blink his eyes and heard him let out a shuddering breath. "We've been over this before Melissa. I'm sorry about that. I had to sort it out for myself first." He reached his hand out to her again but she still didn't take it. "Come here, Melissa. Please?"

When she didn't move to him, Danny moved his legs over the side of the bed and slowly stood up.

Melissa watched him struggle out of the bed and waver when he stood. Another thing that scared her. "Danny…" she said and then stopped, taking a step back, looking at him in his gym shorts and hospital gown. She loved him, she really did, but she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't take being afraid anymore.

"Melissa, come on. What's going on? Why are you bringing this up now?" He took a step towards her, but was interrupted by another voice.

"Hello there," the orderly said as he pushed a wheelchair into the room. "Ready to go to physical therapy?"

Melissa looked at the orderly, not sure if she was happy with this interruption or not.

"Yeah," Danny said before turning to Melissa. "You still coming?"

She hesitated. Danny had asked her to come and watch the physical therapy session. He was going to need someone to put his arm through the series of stretches and massages every day. He'd need help with some other medical routines as well. He could not really treat a wound on his own back. Steve and Chin had watched and learned so they could help but Danny had asked her to come so she could help him as well. Danny said she was around his house much more than Chin was so it made sense, as long as she didn't mind. Now she wasn't sure why she had agreed.

She didn't want to go to the PT session. She didn't want to stay in this hospital one more minute. But, Danny had asked her and she didn't want to hurt him by leaving. She loved him and she was already here, so she acquiesced and followed along as the orderly pushed Danny in the wheelchair.

She then watched as Danny was situated on his back on the table and put through the stretches and massages. He didn't speak much, nothing of his usual penchant for constant chatter. She knew the manipulations were hurting him. She knew that lying on his back and putting pressure on that large infected wound must be difficult enough. Even worse though was that she could spot the moment in each exercise where the physical therapist hit resistance in his damaged, knotted muscles, where the therapist had to push harder to stretch the muscles, where the pushing sent surges of pain through Danny's body, made the sweat pop out on his forehead, made him groan in pain or stifle it down. It scared her. It made her stomach clench to watch it.

She wanted to leave but she couldn't do that to him. She lifted her eyes from him and looked across the room, reading the poster on the opposite wall instead of watching what was being done. There was no way she could ever push that hard, no way she could ever inflict that much pain on Danny. She couldn't even watch.

She was relieved when they moved on to working on his hand and fingers. That didn't seem to cause him pain. Thinking about it, though, she wasn't sure that was a good thing. Feeling would come before function would return. No feeling in his hand and fingers meant there would be no use of the hand. She stifled a scared, dejected sigh.

Melissa observed as Danny was then assisted in turning onto his stomach. He grumbled and groaned. It wasn't a simple process in his current condition. It seemed like nothing was simple anymore. Suddenly everything was complicated.

More stretches and massages ensued. More pain inflicted on this man she loved. Her eyes darted to the door. If only she could leave, she wouldn't have to watch him suffer. She wouldn't be so afraid. But she couldn't leave. She loved him. She would stay for him. She would do this for him. So she read the posters on the other side of the room again as she pretended to be watching what the therapist was doing. She read it so many times she almost had it memorized.

Finally, Melissa noticed as a nurse began to remove the packing strips from Danny's wound. She saw blood and pus and she shuddered, suddenly terrified. Feeling a bit queasy at the sight she stopped looking and moved to a nearby chair, too shaken now to even consider leaving the room.

Danny asked if she was okay and she assured him that she was. How could she tell him what she was really feeling? She needed him to get well, get out of this place; get back to a normal life where hospitals meant babies and happiness, not beatings and stab wounds and fear.

When they were finally finished and had returned to his room she watched Danny move sluggishly from the wheelchair and ease himself gingerly into one of the chairs in the room. He looked exhausted. He appeared to be in agony. Physical therapy obviously took a lot out of him.

Not knowing what else to do, Melissa began to refold some of Danny's things. She couldn't talk to him right now. There were too many thoughts battling in her head, too many thoughts of violence and knives and beatings. She wanted those thoughts to go away. She needed them to go away. But every time she came to the hospital, every time she saw Danny wince in pain or heard him groan the thoughts came back.

She saw him wave her to the chair next to him. "They need to be washed anyway. Don't bother with them. Let's just spend some time together, huh?" he suggested. "You said we need to talk, mentioned Charlie, but this isn't really about him, is it?"

She hesitated but then came and sat next to him, perched nervously on the edge of the seat. He was so gentle, so loving, and simply much too observant. Of course he'd see through the Charlie issue. They had been over it before. Had resolved it and moved on, in fact. Bringing it up now was just dumb.

"Melissa, talk to me. You know you can talk to me about anything, right? What's going on?"

It was true. She could talk to him about anything. He was always open and understanding. He would be now as well. She knew that. But the fear was so vast inside of her, growing more virulent by the moment. Yes, he would listen and understand, she reminded herself. She opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't tell him. She couldn't say the words. She couldn't bring those thoughts to the light of day.

"Melissa?"

He spoke so tenderly, so caring, as always. She couldn't ignore him any longer. She spoke so abruptly that she surprised even herself. "You gave Steve your medical proxy." It was a simple statement. Again, it wasn't what was really on her mind. She didn't want to discuss what was really on her mind. She just wanted to get out of this hospital, away from the pain and reminders of violence and fear.

Danny's perplexed expression didn't surprise her. "Yes. Years ago, actually."

"Why?"

"I have no family here and I didn't want Rachel making that kind of decision for me."

"Eric is family," she pointed out quickly.

"He's barely an adult and he wasn't even here then." He shifted in the chair, stifled a groan.

"What about me?"

"I didn't even know you when I signed that document." She could see that this questioning was upsetting him but she couldn't stop herself. It made her forget where she was, forget why he was here.

"Why haven't you changed it?" she pressed on.

"I honestly hadn't even thought about it since I signed it. Besides, Steve's like my brother…"

"Your brother is dead," Melissa hissed. This whole injury and hospital stay was overwhelming. The subject of Danny's murdered brother and what Danny may or may not have done to the man who murdered him was another thing that scared her - really, really scared her.

Danny looked like he'd been struck. "I am painfully aware of that," he whispered raggedly.

Shocked by her own outburst, Melissa softened now. "Danny, I'm so sorry." She reached over and took his hand in hers, could feel a soft tremor in his hand. "I can't believe I said that." But she still couldn't bring herself to tell him what was really bothering her. She found herself going after him again. It kept the thoughts from swirling through her head. "You never really told me what happened to him, what you did down there." She didn't really want to know, though, certain that it was terrifying.

"Can we shelve this conversation until I at least have real clothes on?" he answered with pain in his eyes but a soft smile on his lips.

She knew Danny had suffered a constant headache for days on end and that this stress couldn't be helping. She didn't want to hurt him. She really didn't. Nodding, she remained holding his hand in silence, staring longingly out the door.

After a minute Danny squeezed her hand and spoke. He seemed to shift a bit in the chair. "I'm glad you came today. You're a whole lot prettier than Steve or Chin to be having your hands all over me." He grinned, but it seemed pained. "But I'm not pressuring you. You don't have to do the PT. Really. If you don't want to spend our time together doing that stuff I'll understand."

"It hurts you," Melissa said in reply.

"Yeah, but I need it. When I get the use of my arm back…"

She heard him gasp slightly. Ignored it. "You mean if," she said.

"I mean when. I can't think anything else. Keeping the muscles stretched and flexible is important. If they atrophy I'll never use my arm properly again even when I get feeling back." His voice was now strained with pain. It made her cringe.

"How are you staying so positive? You're the most negative person I know." Well, at least he was negative about his own life. He always made her feel so good about herself. One of the many things she loved about him. Then she realized something was off that had nothing to do with his outlook. "Danny? Are you okay?"

He groaned now, no longer able to stifle it. His breath was coming in short bursts. He rocked back and forth in the chair, his left hand clutching his right shoulder.

Melissa stood and reached for him – concerned, her heart beginning to race. "Let's get you into the bed."

He brushed her hands away. "No. No," he gasped. "It'll pass."

Melissa then remembered the tips on how to help him when this happened. She pulled the curtains, turned off the lights and shut the door. Tears in her eyes, she wrapped her arms across her chest and watched. She hated this, hated watching him suffer so much. It scared her, terrified her. Rocking on her feet she stood there and waited, fear building even more inside of her. Eyes darting to the door, she once again fought the urge to leave.

Finally he seemed to settle and he wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand and leaned back heavily in the chair. He had settled but she hadn't. She felt herself trembling.

Melissa whispered softly, her voice shaky. "I'll get you something cold to drink." She slipped from the room soundlessly, fought the urge to just run to the stairs and keep on going, then came back with a small juice carton and a straw.

Danny nodded and drank a little as she held it for him, trying to keep her hands from shaking like his were. "Thanks," he told her.

They sat silently for a few minutes as she gave him time to compose himself, time for her to compose herself as well.

"Feeling better?" she asked, when she noticed that the color had returned to his face.

"Yeah. Much." He smiled at her and it stirred the butterflies in her stomach. He reached for her hand, and she allowed him to pull her to him and kiss her lips, probing her mouth with his tongue. "I've missed this," he said when they stopped, with that seductive voice of his that made her melt. His azure eyes held hers and she was sure her heart skipped a beat.

"Me too," Melissa said softly as she sat back in her chair, letting her hand slip from his when she heard the slight groan as he shifted in his chair, making her stomach clench yet again.

She felt Danny's concerned eyes on her now. "You okay sweetheart?" He was so good to her.

"Yes. It's the hospital I guess. Not my favorite place to be."

"I know what you mean. Not mine either. But I should be out of here today. Have dinner with me?" he asked. "I can't cook and I can't drive, but we could order in. Anything you want."

Melissa hesitated as the thoughts came rushing back. Danny can't cook anymore, can't drive anymore. That's what the violence does.

He kept talking. "If you have plans, that's okay. What about tomorrow? Next day?"

"I think tomorrow is good," she answered distractedly. Her thoughts kept returning. To knives and violence. To fear and terror. The thoughts were pulling at her. She kept trying to push her thoughts back to how much she loved Danny, how good he was to her, but the dark thoughts kept returning. They were grabbing at her now, snatching away every good thought she had, every good memory she had. She could feel her heart race even faster, could hear herself begin to pant, could practically smell the sweat that broke out all over her body. She tried to focus on her love for Danny. It was so good. It should be enough. But the fear, the terror, the horror were overwhelming now, taking over her mind, her body.

He smiled at that. "Excellent. I'll kick Eric out for the evening. You think you can do the PT exercises or should I ask Steve to come early and then send him packing?"

Tears sprang to Melissa's eyes and she stood up. "I, I, I can't do this."

"Do what? The PT?"

"I can't do this, Danny." She waved her hand around in a frantic circle and took a step away from him, trembling, the dark, scary thoughts filling her head. Her voice was shaky, panicked, and frantic. "I can't do this. I was so scared when Chin called me and said you'd been hurt." She held her hands out in front of her, as if that would protect her from these thoughts. "I was so scared when Lou called and said you were going in for more surgery. I just can't do this. I can't be scared every time the phone rings. I can't live like that."

"Melissa…" She watched him struggle out of the chair. She knew he was exhausted, knew she was adding stress to his pain. She couldn't stop herself. Now that she started, she just couldn't stop. Maybe telling him would get these thoughts out of her head. Maybe he could help her make them go away like he helped her make Frank go away. Kill them dead so they'd never come back.

"I thought you died in that Operating Room Danny. Do you know what that felt like? For a moment, I thought you were dead!" She was practically shouting now and she took a deep, shuddering breath before going on. "I need some time, Danny. I just need some time, some space to figure this out. I was so scared. You don't understand. I was so scared. I don't want to be scared anymore." She was crying now and moving towards the door needing to escape the frightening thoughts.

"Melissa," Danny tried again. She watched him take a couple shaky steps towards her, his arm strapped tight in the black sling, and she hoped he wouldn't fall. "Melissa, please don't leave."

She held her hand up again, palm towards him to halt him. The thoughts were coming fast, filling her head. Danny couldn't make them go away. Nobody could. "I just need some time Danny. That's all. I'm not leaving you. I love you, Danny. I just need some time." With that she ran out the door crying. Maybe she could leave those thoughts behind her if she ran fast enough.

Danny barely made it back to the chair, staring out the door in disbelief.

The doctor came in moments later. "Oh, it's good to see you getting up and moving around," he said with a smile as he spotted Danny in the chair.

Danny just nodded. Did Melissa really just walk out on him?

"Let's check you out here and see if you're ready to go home." Danny barely noticed as the doctor proceeded to check all of his vitals, taking his blood pressure and pulse more than once.

Danny's eyes kept going to the door and his thoughts kept returning to Melissa. He really cared for her. They had a good thing going. Time together was so sweet.

"Your blood pressure and pulse are extremely high. I'm not so sure sending you home is a good idea." The doctor shook his head in contemplation "I thought we had it under control."

His thoughts being pulled away from Melissa and really wanting to get out of this place, Danny nearly growled in frustration. "I'm fine, doctor. Really. Just had some upsetting news." He looked at the door yet again as if that could change things.

"Sorry to hear that. Not your week for good luck, isn't that what Steve said?"

"Never really is," Danny complained sullenly.

"Maybe one more day to be sure your blood pressure is stabilized would be to your advantage. You've been pushing hard to go home, but I need to do what's best for your health."

"What's best for my health is to get out of here, Doc. Really, I just want to go home." Danny was practically shaking in the chair, his emotions running very high. His eyes darted again to the door.

"Listen," the doctor said. "I know you have resisted so far, but I think you might benefit from speaking with someone."

"Speaking with someone is a euphemism for 'you need a shrink', right?" Danny continued to stare at the door, willing her to come back.

"Danny," the doctor said, sitting down on the chair next to him now. "You've been through a very traumatic event. You came close to death more than once this week."

"I'm aware of that," was Danny's simple reply. He pulled his eyes away from the door, gazing at his useless arm instead.

"And you had numerous traumatic hallucinations as well, reliving some horrible events."

Danny nodded mutely. The doctor had told him about them already. Steve had said added more about them when he asked. Danny didn't really remember them, just glimmers of memory. Except for the painful grieving they induced. That feeling still lingered, as deeply as it had the weeks after each loss. Except now he was grieving all of them at once. "They're over now."

"And the use of your arm is still in doubt."

"I don't have doubts," Danny said. It was a bald faced lie but convincing himself of it was the only way he could get through a day.

"And now some more bad news."

Danny's thoughts went back to Melissa again. Where was she now? Was she okay? Was she still crying? Still afraid? "I have friends, Doc. Ohana. I'm fine, really."

"That's good. Talking with friends will help." The doctor pulled a business card out of his pocket and handed it to Danny. "But, in case you're not so fine one day and friends and ohana don't seem enough."

Danny stared at it for a moment and then acquiesced and accepted the card. It didn't mean he was going to use it. He didn't need a shrink. He had ohana. "Thanks Doc. Now, are you going to let me out of here so I can go get crisp in the sunshine and watch uncivilized people eat fruit on pizza?" Snarky humor was his defense mechanism. It came unbidden.

The doctor chuckled. He had enjoyed Danny as a patient. He always kept things interesting. "Okay. I'll let you go. But watch the stress and keep what I said in mind. There's nothing wrong with needing help. You take care of yourself," the doctor said as he extended his left hand to Danny to shake. "And I hope your luck improves."

"You and me both, Doc. Thank you."

When the doctor left, Danny stared at the business card in his hand for a long time, and then he took a deep breath, grabbed his cell phone off the table, forced a smile onto his face and dialed.

"Hey you goof, you want to bust me out of this place?"


	33. Chapter 33

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N The tip of the hat to Scott in the last chapter was the single word "crisp". When he was being interviewed before the Golden Globe awards (he was nominated as Best Supporting Actor for his work on Hawaii Five-0) he said one of the things he liked most about Hawaii was that he could get "crisp" in the sun. The interviewer liked it and it made me laugh. (Google search: Scott Caan Golden Globe and click video)

A/N * I borrowed a line from ep 6.11 "Kuleana" "One's Personal Sense of Responsibility". It just seemed to fit so well here. It's one of those lines that seems so innocent in a way, yet can be so hurtful, especially to someone who is sensitive. ; )

A/N Lenail125 (after waiting so patiently) will be pleased to know that I finally address Steve's reaction to Danny's heartfelt admission of friendship in chapter 17. Hope you like it.

A/N Still day 15

H50 H50 H50

"You're quiet," Steve said as he drove towards Danny's house.

"I'm not quiet," Danny replied as he stared out the front window. He was sitting a bit sideways in his seat, keeping the pressure off the wound in his back. Steve figured the seatbelt must have been rubbing against the wound in his chest because he kept tugging at it with his left hand.

"You haven't said anything since we left the hospital." Steve waited, expecting a typical Danny style rant, something along the lines of 'I haven't said anything because I have nothing to say. If I have something to say I'll say it. Ergo, why should I say something when there's nothing to say?'

Instead he got, "Nothing to say."

Short version. Definitely not what Steve expected. A quiet Danny Williams was disconcerting. Danny was going home; he should be happy – for once. Steve tried a different tack.

"How are Grace and Charlie?"

"Great." There was a hint of a smile. That was something, but not the usual ebullient response from Danny when he spoke of his kids. They were his life.

"Grace get in to see you yesterday?"

"No."

Steve waited for the rant about Rachel keeping Grace away. Nothing. Something was seriously wrong here. He'd keep at it. Danny was better at interviewing people, getting to the heart of the matter without enhanced interrogation techniques but he'd learned a few things from the veteran detective. New approach.

"Where's Melissa?"

"At work."

"I thought she was coming to see you this morning."

"She did."

"I thought she'd take you home."

"Look if you didn't want to bring me home you could have just said so. 'Danny, I don't want to bring you home.' It's not so hard." His left hand emphasized his point.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Well that hit a nerve Steve thought. "I never said I didn't want to take you home."

"You know what? Why don't you just pull over and let me out. I'll call a cab." He shifted in his seat, agitated, gasping when the pain shot through his back.

"You okay?" Steve glanced over. Danny was halfway facing him so he was easy to see. His face was pale and sweaty, his forehead scrunched in pain.

"Friggin' peachy. Pull over," he growled.

"I'm not pulling over. Is this because I'm driving your car? I thought it was easier to get in and out of than my truck."

"You always drive my car."

Back to short answers. Well, it wouldn't exactly be considered an answer if it came from anybody but Danny. They rode in silence for a while, Danny staring out the window looking pale and drawn, Steve looking pensive going back over the conversation. The mention of Melissa seemed to be what set him off, but why? From what he had seen when he was with them Danny and Melissa were good together. So what was the problem then? He'd have to poke around and find out.

"When you're feeling up to it, maybe you and Melissa…"

Danny practically jumped in his seat. "Will you STOP going on about Melissa!" The pain filled groan that followed as Danny sank back into the seat and closed his eyes reminded Steve not to push too hard. Getting stabbed in the back, the fever, the infection, the unrelenting headaches, the continuing nerve attacks, the low level of pain meds he was allowed, the possibility of never using his arm again and those damned hallucinations … Danny was hurting in more ways than one. Tread lightly.

"I'm here if you want to talk.

The rest of the car ride continued in silence, Steve slightly more comfortable with it than before because he knew that Danny knew that he was there for him.

When they arrived at Danny's house, Steve grabbed the duffle bag and then watched as Danny fumbled with the seatbelt and door and then eased himself out of the car. The pain and frustration were obvious but Steve doubted, correctly, that Danny would want his help right now.

Steve unlocked Danny's front door and carried the bag inside as Danny followed. Placing the bag on the floor Steve spoke. "You want me to leave or stay? Your call."

Danny looked him in the eye, tilted his head and took as deep a breath as he was able, which wasn't much. "I'll get a beer." He then headed to the kitchen.

"You're on pain meds!" Steve called after him.

"Barely," Danny grumbled, "but I'm not drinking. You are." He opened the refrigerator, grabbed a Longboard off the door, and popped it open with a bottle opener attached to the wall – all left handed – before returning to the living room and handing it to Steve who was already seated. With that activity he was pretty much done-in for the day.

"Thanks." Steve accepted the bottle, tilted it towards Danny as a salute and took a swig before placing it on the table. He didn't want to drink. He wanted to find out what was bothering his friend so he could help.

"You don't respect wood?" Danny asked.

"What?"

Danny pointed to the beer bottle sweating on his wood table. "You know what water does to wood? You should. Don't they teach you that in army school?"

"Navy." Steve picked the bottle up, wiped the water with his sleeve, pulled a coaster over and placed the bottle on it. "Happy?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yeah."

Steve was ready to say 'You're never happy' but looking at his partner's disconsolate visage he thought better of it and kept his mouth shut. He picked the bottle up again and took another long drink before putting it back down on the coaster. Maybe he could use a beer after all.

Slowly, carefully, Danny settled into the sofa to the right of Steve with a wince and a sigh. He rested his head back on the cushion, closed his eyes and held his shoulder. His back was really hurting but he couldn't reach that so the shoulder would have to do.

Danny's head had been spinning since Melissa's visit. The headaches he had been dealing with the whole week since the attack had now coalesced into one giant, massive, unrelenting throbbing pain. His neck was tightening up again too. The stress once more was a contributing factor. He kept trying to make sense of what Melissa said and did. The relationship had been going well, very well, and this was such a huge shock. What she said didn't really make sense, either – Charlie, medical proxy, Matty, Colombia, fear. What was this, breakup by multiple choice? He wanted to cry, to scream, to yell, to throw something, break something, hit somebody – he glanced at Steve and closed his eyes again. Most of all he wanted to go back in time and not have Melissa walk out on him.

Steve waited. Patience wasn't his strong suit but he could be patient when it was necessary. It was quite apparent to him that it was necessary right now. Danny couldn't be pushed. He was dealing with something - something more than his physical trials.

"She said that she needs time, needs space." Danny's voice was soft, quiet and yet the ache of it filled the room.

"What? Who?"

"Melissa." His head was still back and his eyes were still closed.

Steve was shocked and he spoke without thinking. "She dumped you in the hospital after you nearly died - twice?"

Danny rubbed his hand over his eyes and choked back a sob. He didn't want to think about it that way. He had tried not to, but now there it was. "She said she's not leaving me, she just needs time." His voice was still low, strained.

"Time for what?" Steve growled out as he moved forward and rested on the edge of the sofa. Danny was dejected but Steve was angry. How could she do this to him right now?

"To figure out how to deal with this."

"How to deal with her boyfriend losing the use of his arm? She should stand beside you, that's how she should deal with it." Steve spat out.

"What the hell Steven?" Danny shot back sharply, eyes now opened. Despite the pain, Danny levered himself forward so he was now sitting upright instead of leaning back. He turned and looked directly at his friend sitting right next to him. "It's only temporary! But your lack of faith in my recovery isn't the point."

"Lack of faith? Danny…"

"Shut up. I'm talking. It's not her fault. She gets a phone call saying I've been knifed in the back and then a few days later another one saying I'm having surgery before the infection kills me." He was shouting now, left hand alternately waving for effect and bracing him on the sofa so he didn't fall right off. "Then for some reason she at first thought I had died on the table. She's scared. She doesn't want to be scared of every phone call she gets."

"You've saved her life twice, Danny. Twice! The second time it nearly cost you yours and she has the nerve to say that?" Steve shouted back. He was beside himself. He had been scared to death himself when Danny almost died protecting her two years ago and again most of the past two weeks so he understood that feeling. But he would never walk away from Danny because of that. He had always liked Melissa, but he didn't know what to make of this. He knew he had hurt Danny with his statement about Danny's arm but he couldn't even focus on that right now. He was just so angry with Melissa and so confused by Danny's attitude of acceptance.

"She's been through a lot." Energy waning, Danny had lost some steam and he spoke in a more even voice. "Her husband put her in the hospital two times. She lived with fear for so long. She can't do that anymore."

"That's different. She was afraid of her own husband."

"And now she's afraid FOR her boyfriend." Danny sighed, exhausted.

"Why do you keep defending her?"

"Defending her? You're making her out to be some sort of monster. She's terrific Steve. Sweet, fun and sexy," he smirked, despite his sadness. "We don't fight or anything. It's just so good."

Steve understood. He had seen them together many times. "Wish I knew what to say."

"Grace loves her. What do I tell her?" Danny choked back another sob. "That I failed at yet another relationship?"

"It's not your fault."

"Sure it is. Bad things happen to negative people." *

"She said that?" Steve asked, dumbfounded.

"No. You did. And I'm exhibit 1A."

Oh crap, now he remembered. "Danny…"

"You're right. You get that? I'm admitting you're right. It's so friggin' ridiculously true." He leaned forward, his left elbow on his knee, his head in his hand, body shaking.

"No, it's not. Things just happen." Steve was now kicking himself for having said that. He had meant it humorously. Now it sounded mean and spiteful.

"I've lost every single good thing in my life, Steve. My wife, my house, my family, my job, my partner, my brother, friends, even my dog. Some by death, some by coming here, some turning their backs and walking away. Now I've lost the use of my arm and with it, another job. I've lost everything. Everything, except Grace, and I had to fight like hell to keep her and I would still have failed if it wasn't for you speaking up for me in that courtroom. I even lost Charlie for three years. Three years I'll never get back and I still have no custody rights at all for him. Everybody I get close to dies or becomes so miserable they walk away. I tried to move on here, find some new good things to live for in this pineapple-infested hell-hole that crazy people call paradise, but they're slipping away too. Danny Williams, exhibit 1A for the 'power of negative thinking'." Danny pulled himself upright again as he spoke; leaning over was putting too much strain on his back.

Ouch. What Danny just said was actually fairly accurate except none of it was Danny's fault. Steve was just about to speak when Danny continued. "And you! I bare my soul to you half dead in a hospital bed and you don't even say a freakin' word." Danny tried to stand up and failed, settling for sitting stiffly and painfully on the sofa.

"You had that nerve pain attack and then you were out of it again," Steve said in his defense. It sounded flat even to his own ears. He looked at his friend; Danny looked crushed, broken, shattered and on the inside he was hurting even more. What Steve just said was only a partial truth and Danny deserved more than that. "And, as you would say, I'm emotionally stunted."

"Look, I'm just being miserable again. Forget I said anything." Danny shifted, trying to find some comfort. Oh man, he hurt.

"No, it's important. You went through hell those few days."

"And you were there for me through all of it. You don't need to say anything. You were there. That says more than words."

"Well, yeah, I guess maybe it does, but let me speak anyway."

Danny looked at him and nodded.

"Danno," Steve hesitated, trying to formulate his thoughts into words. "Just give me a second. Some of us like to think before we speak."

Danny was ready to jump to his own defense but then Steve smirked so he let it go, simply smirking back.

"What you said that day was humbling. I can tell how much Billy, Grace and Matty each meant to you, how much you still feel their loss, and knowing I can fill that space for you is, well, it's an honor. I've never meant that much to anyone," Steve admitted. It was a tough confession to make.

Danny looked at him fondly, truly warmed by Steve's belated response to his heartfelt words days before.

Steve reached over now and squeezed the back of Danny's neck, gently so as not to hurt him. "And now that I think about it, you fill the space of people I've lost too."

Danny looked at him inquisitively.

"You have my back like Freddy, you make me think before I act like my Dad…"

Danny nodded with a humble, watery smile.

"… and you nag me like my mother."

There was silence for just a moment before both men broke out in laughter. Danny's was quickly followed by an intense pain shooting through his back. He gasped and fell back against the sofa, laughing and writhing in pain simultaneously.

Steve stopped laughing the instant he heard Danny's gasp. He hadn't meant to make a joke about it. "Easy Danny. Take it easy. Slow breaths. That's it."

While Danny settled down and the pain became more manageable, Steve moved from the sofa and came back with Danny's bag. Opening it, he pulled out the bag of medicine, pain creams and bandages the hospital sent home with him. They'd need more of everything but that was Chin's assignment. He had enough for now. He went to the kitchen and wet the compresses and put them in the microwave to warm as he had been instructed.

When he returned, Danny was more composed and his breathing had evened out.

Danny wiped the sweat from his brow and tears from his eyes with his sleeve. "I swear you're trying to kill me brother," he growled at his best friend with no malice whatsoever.

"Yeah, now lets get you taken care of so you can get some sleep." Tenderly helping Danny remove his arm from the sling, and then waiting while Danny undid the two buttons he had buttoned on his shirt, Steve then helped him take the shirt off. "We should do this in the bedroom."

"I'm not that kind of guy, you animal." Danny chuckled slightly but stayed in control, not wanting a replay of the pain. He allowed a similarly chortling Steve to help him to his feet but then brushed his hands away as he shuffled slowly to the master bedroom in the back of the house.

Danny stopped short as he stepped into the bedroom and Steve almost ran into him, barely stopping in time, squeezing past him instead. Reminders of Melissa were everywhere for Danny, from the sweater she left on the chair to the curtains she had helped him pick out and hang.

"You okay?" Steve asked, concerned, thinking Danny was feeling too much pain to go on. In a way, he was.

"When she walked out of the room she said she loved me." It was too confusing. Too overwhelming.

"I think she does, Danny. Like you said, she's just scared. She'll realize she loves you. She'll come back."

"Rachel didn't."

Sometimes love is not enough.


	34. Chapter 34

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Wow! I was totally humbled and honored by the response I received for the last chapter. I guess bromance lives! I tried, as always, to reply personally to each review but to the guest reviewers (and to any reviewers I may have inadvertently missed) thank you so very much for your wonderful and encouraging reviews. I truly appreciate every one and I often allow them to help steer the course of the story.

A/N Well, I was going to advise everybody to cheer for Danny's (and my) alma mater Seton Hall University in the NCAA college basketball tournament but they lost so they're out. boohoo BTW, that tournament is being shown on CBS, which is why we have no eps at all for two weeks. sigh

A/N Still day 15

H50 H50 H50

Steve helped Danny get settled in his bed and then applied the warm compresses. Danny lay there on his stomach silently but discontentedly. Steve couldn't blame him. He tried talking to him some more, but Danny wasn't having it so he gave up and just watched the clock. When the time came to remove the compresses he did so without speaking. He then applied the TENS unit for the nerve pain relief to Danny's back. That could stay on for hours.

"You want to stay on your stomach or do you want me to help you turn over?" Steve now asked.

"I'm fine."

"Because I have to leave. Got a bad guy waiting in the interrogation room."

Danny grinned, but only slightly. "You left him there this whole time?"

"Let him cool his heals a bit. Make him more open to my questions."

"Neanderthal. Help me turn, then, yeah." Danny truly hated being so needy, but turning over was near impossible by himself right now, especially from his stomach. The therapist had taught the whole team and Eric how to help him. It was humiliating but necessary.

Danny grumbled and complained the entire time and by the time Danny made it to his left side, the nice feeling from the warm compresses had worn off and he was even more exhausted and in even more pain. His eyes closed of their own volition.

"You need anything before I go?" Steve asked.

"No."

"Help you to the bathroom?"

"No."

"Can I get you anything?"

"No."

"I'll get you a bottle of water. You'll need water," Steve said before hustling off to the kitchen. Coming back with a bottle of water, he placed it on the table next to the bed. "Anything else?"

"No."

"How about I close the curtains for you?"

"No."

"It'll help you sleep." And so Steve closed them. The room darkening curtains had been chosen specifically for that quality and they truly deserved the title. "Anything else?"

"No."

"Something to eat maybe?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Actually, there's one thing you can do for me," Danny said, cracking one eye open slightly.

"Anything buddy."

"Get the hell out of here so I can sleep."

So Steve left the house and locked up quietly behind him, thinking about the conversation they had about Melissa. Danny had been devastated and forlorn in the car, but when he finally spoke about it he portrayed a positive, hopeful attitude, seeming to believe that Melissa just had to work a few things out and then she was coming back to him. Yet, he had ended up forlorn again. Why? Because Steve had argued that Melissa was dumping him. 'Why do you keep defending her?' He was kicking himself for saying all that now.

He considered his partner. Danny's spirits were down, way, way down, even for him. Steve was beginning to think that Danny's theory of life, that bad things were inevitable, was actually true in Danny's case. It was most certainly true for the past couple weeks. He needed cheering up and Steve knew just the solution. He picked up the phone to put his plan in place.

Hours later, Steve quietly unlocked Danny's front door. To his left he heard a giggle and a whispered. "Shhh, he might be sleeping."

The giggler just giggled louder.

"Shhhhh."

Danny had spent the entire afternoon in bed. He had slept for a long while after Steve left. When he awoke hours later, his thoughts had gone immediately to Melissa. She had been so upset in the hospital. When he thought back on it, he should have noticed there was something going on well before she fell apart. Her earlier visits and calls, even the fact that she rarely visited him in the hospital at all should have been warning signs for him. How had he missed it? Obviously what had happened to him had triggered some sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in her.

He had been lying there considering how he could help her when he was blindsided by a blistering nerve pain attack. Thankful that Steve had thought to close the blinds, he had suffered through it in the silence, darkness and solitude of his own room. Drenched in sweat when it mercifully receded, Danny had felt only mildly refreshed by the long nap he had taken prior to it.

But, refreshed or not, now he needed to relieve himself so he was going to have to get himself out of this bed. Fortunately he was on his side, pillows propped carefully behind him by his doting partner. It was the easiest position to move from. Mentally bracing himself for the pain, he began moving his legs to the edge of the bed. Then came the harder part – using his left hand to lever himself into a seated position. Doing so stretched and strained his back, causing him to groan and curse but eventually he got the job done. Sitting on the side of the bed, he gave himself a few moments to regroup before trying to rise and make it to the bathroom. Bare chested, he'd forego donning his shirt again until he was done.

All quiet now, the threesome tiptoed into the house and Steve whispered, "Wait in the kitchen."

As the giggler and the shusher silently followed his instructions, Steve proceeded down the hallway to the master bedroom.

Sitting on the side of the bed, Danny heard something in the house. Then he heard a soft voice ordering someone to stay in the kitchen. There were people in his house. Seriously? Now? Damn. He was not going to let somebody attack him again. Though his odds of success were slim to none, he would go on the offensive.

He considered retrieving his firearm from the gun safe that was tucked into the back of his closet but he quickly squashed that idea. There was no way he'd get there in time, much less open it and load his gun one-handed. Looking around for anything that he could use as a weapon instead, Danny heard a noise outside his room and realized he was out of time. Grabbing the only thing he could reach, he pushed himself off the bed, moved across the room and pressed himself against the wall by the door, his right arm hanging limp and useless by his side. Sweating and panting, he waited.

Not wanting to wake Danny if he was still sleeping, Steve moved as quietly as he could down the hall, then reached for the doorknob and twisted it cautiously.

Danny saw the doorknob turn. This was really happening. He pushed back the fear, closed his mind to the flashbacks of the classroom and the knife and lying dying in a pool of his own blood and instead raised his hand. Then the door opened and someone stepped through and Danny swung his weapon with all his might, connecting solidly with the stalker's head.

Stepping through the door, Steve immediately noticed movement to his right and turned instinctively. He felt a thwack on his head but continued to move to disarm his attacker of … a water bottle? "Danny? Are you okay?" Steve asked, worriedly.

Danny caught sight of the intruder's face just as the bottle was ripped from his hand. "Steve?" Danny's voice escalated quickly, his nerves on end, his adrenaline still making his heart pump thunderously. "What the hell were you thinking Steven? Huh? Huh? Creeping through my house like that. Sneaking up on me like a freakin' ninja. I could have killed you!" he shouted angrily.

"With this?" Steve queried as he held up the plastic bottle.

With his reserves fading quickly Danny slumped back against the wall sweating profusely, but he still managed to laugh at himself. "I had to do something."

Steve chuckled too but was confused. "What were you trying to do?" Seeing Danny's knees buckle slightly, he placed his hand on Danny's chest to help him stay on his feet. He could feel his pounding heart beat.

"Avoid being stabbed in the back again."

That made Steve pause and consider. It did make sense given what Danny had gone through the last two weeks. "Sorry."

"Warn a guy next time, huh?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Noting that Danny still had no shirt on, he continued. "Now get a shirt on. I brought dinner."

His appetite having returned a few days earlier, Danny liked the sound of that. "Give me a minute," he said pointing to the bathroom.

"Gotta water the flowers?" Steve asked with a grin.

"The garden, Steven. I gotta water the garden," Danny grinned back, "and wring myself out." He was still drenched in sweat. He saw Steve toss the water bottle onto his bed. As Steve then rubbed his head behind his ear Danny remembered feeling the bottle connect. "You okay?" he now asked.

"Me?" Steve was perplexed.

"Your head. My weapon." Danny grinned.

"It's fine," Steve answered, rubbing it again.

"There's ice in the freezer."

"That's a good place for it," Steve answered jauntily.

A short while later, Danny had freshened up, taken care of business, donned a shirt and was now sluggishly heading down the hall when it suddenly occurred to him that he had heard Steve tell somebody to stay in the kitchen. He quickly ascertained who that might be and, blue eyes twinkling, he hurried his pace, hoping he was right. Rounding the corner he was greeted with the sweetest sound he had ever heard in his life, "Danno!" shouted in unison by his daughter and son.

Charlie, being used to plowing into his father like a bulldozer and being swept up into the air, hurdled quickly out of his seat and straight into his beloved Danno's legs.

Danny, knowing what was coming, braced himself sufficiently with his legs so as not to be knocked on his backside. Reaching out with his left hand he hugged his son to him, this son who he hadn't seen in over two weeks. "I love you Tiger."

"Love you more, Danno."

Grace, being older and naturally more reserved and having been tutored in the fine art of being a lady, held back patiently waiting her turn while her whirlwind of a brother accosted their father. She smiled broadly when Danny reached his one working arm out to her. "Group hug," he said. So, wrapping one arm around her injured father and the other around her younger brother, she stepped into her dad's warm and loving embrace.

"I love you Monkey."

"Love you more, Danno."

"What about me?" Steve said cheekily as he witnessed this family reunion. "You love me, too?"

"Of course I love you, you Neanderthal," Danny replied with a laugh while still hugging his kids.

"Love you more, Danno," was Steve's smiling response. It was so good to see Danny smiling.

Grace now turned to him. "Come on Uncle Steve. Group hug."

Charlie giggled and Danny returned Steve's fond expression. He nodded his head once to the side in bidding. "Come on brother."

Steve felt tears prick at his eyes now. He had never experienced anything like this in his life. He didn't know if his family had been unusual or if Danny's was unusual or if maybe normal was somewhere in between, but he did know that he liked it. "Can't say no to a group hug," he said as he moved to the circle.

"Thank you, Steve," Danny said softly. Having his family with him, including Steve, was the greatest gift in the world.

"Welcome home, Danny," Steve replied. For him, being welcomed into the Danny Williams family was the greatest gift in the world.

"I'm hungry," piped a little voice from the middle of the hug, "and you're squishing me," he added as he pushed his way out. "Uncle Steve got us dinner."

"Mom said we could only stay for an hour," Grace added.

As the group broke up, Danny painfully made his way to a chair, not quite able to hold back a groan as he sat down. Steve shot him a glance and then looked at the clock and back again. It was almost time for his meds. Danny shook his head no. Not yet. Although the small dose of painkillers didn't knock him out, it did tend to make him a little out of it. He didn't want that. When his kids were around they deserved his full attention. He could hold out for an hour.

"Can we eat now? Please, please please? I'm staaaaarving." Charlie pleaded.

"Let me help Danno get his arm in the sling so he feels a little better and then it's time to eat. You two go wash your hands," Steve instructed.

With the children washed up and Danny's arm firmly encased in the sling and strapped snugly to his torso, Steve grabbed a few bags off the counter and placed them on the table, looking at Danny with a smirk.

"McDonalds?" Danny's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Commander tree-bark-for-breakfast bought McDonalds?"

"Charlie made me," Steve said as Grace and Charlie nodded in agreement.

"Charlie ma… Excuse me, Charlie MADE you? He's four years old and you're an Army Ranger."

"Navy SEAL, but he said it was your favorite." Steve's smirk turned into his fond face. "It's a welcome home party. We had to get Danno's favorite."

Charlie beamed with pride.

Danny looked at his smirking partner, grinning daughter and glowing son and smiled broadly himself. McDonalds had been his favorite when he was Charlie's age and even maybe when he was Grace's age and he thoroughly enjoyed treating his kids to it sometimes, but it was by no means his favorite now. Surf and Turf had that distinction. His thoughts quickly flipped to the last meal he ever had with Matty. His brother had ordered Surf and Turf knowing it was Danny's favorite. Rachel was there, too. They were all happy then. But, he didn't want to go there. Today was about living, about surviving, about healing. There was no way he could say anything that would wipe that wonderful look off of his son's face.

"Well, if we're going to have a party, let's get at it," Danny said.

Steve proceeded to take the items out of the bags and place each in front of the intended recipient. Kid's meal went to Charlie.

Danny was pleased that the boy immediately said thank you. "What's the rule," Danny asked, as his son then reached into the box and pulled out the toy, legs swinging in excitement.

"I can't open the toy until I'm at least halfway done." Charlie grinned as he stuffed a french-fry in his mouth with one hand and shook his chocolate milk with the other.

Steve shook his head at Danny's obsession with rules, but then it occurred to him how easily a toy could distract a small child and cause him to forget to eat; suddenly he smiled. The rule seemed fair and wise. Danny was an amazing father.

Next Steve pulled out a burger neatly wrapped in paper, a packet of fries and a lidded soda cup and placed them in front of Grace. "Thanks Uncle Steve," she said with a smile. He kissed her head as his reply.

As Grace opened up her burger, Steve watched in hopeful trepidation as Charlie handed his chocolate milk box to Danny and asked him to put the straw in for him. Grace started to offer her help but to Steve's delight, Danny didn't miss a beat. With his left hand he tugged the straw off the back, placed it between his fingers and pushed it down on the table, making the wrapper break and the straw pop out.

"Hold the box Tiger," Danny instructed before placing the pointy end of the straw over the silver foil on the top and stuffing it into place as Charlie steadied the box. "Team work," he said as they bumped fists before Charlie happily took a sip of his chocolate milk.

Danny was adapting already and quietly teaching his kids to do the same. Steve smiled again. He loved being a part of this family. It was a blessing he never could have imagined six years ago. He had arranged to bring the kids here to cheer Danny and he could see that it was working but he had received so much himself as well.

Steve then pulled out a burger in a cardboard box, a big sleeve of fries and a large drink and placed them on the table in front of his place.

"Uhh, recovering friend over here," Danny called out to him, waving his left hand teasingly. "Doc says I need to eat?"

"Alright, alright. Wait your turn, Danny. Geez, you're like a little kid."

Ignoring the second set of the same items still in the bag, Steve pulled something else out instead. He'd give Danny his own huge burger and fries in a moment, but first, he just had to tease him a bit; they were brothers after all.

Danny looked at what Steve placed before him and his eyes grew wide.

"Seriously Steven? Seriously? Getting a salad from McDonalds is like going to a hooker for a hug!"


	35. Chapter 35

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I'm sure you all heard by now but I'll say it anyway – Hawaii Five-0 was renewed for a season 7. Happy dance! Hoping that somehow we get more Danny this season and some good material for him to work with, and some good old-fashioned bromance between our fave best friends.

A/N Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews. I truly enjoy and appreciate them. I always try to answer each review personally but if I missed you please know that it was accidental and that I appreciate your review very much. You guys rock!

A/N Have a happy and blessed Easter.

A/N Day 16

H50 H50 H50

The morning after Danny was released from the hospital and Steve brought the kids over for a quick dinner, Eric awoke to find his uncle seated in a deck chair outside on the patio. At first glance it appeared that he was simply soaking up the early morning sun. Eric knew by now that, in Hawaii, the early morning was a favorite time for Danny to sit outside, before the real heat of the day set in.

Glancing at the coffee maker Eric noticed that there was a fresh filter, filled with coffee grounds, in place but the glass coffee pot was sitting by the sink only half filled with water. That was strange. Since the day Eric moved in, Danny would be up before him and enjoying a pot of coffee before Eric even stirred. Why would he start the preparations and then stop midway? Glancing out the glass patio doors a second time Eric noticed his uncle's white-knuckle grip on the arm of the chair and had his answer. He was having one of those attacks. Damn. Knowing that what Danny needed most was to be left alone for the moment, Eric finished preparations and turned the coffee maker on, sending continual nervous glances out to the patio.

Having awakened early, Danny had lain in bed for a long while thinking about Melissa and how things had spiraled out of control the day before. In a way, it had felt like another knife in his back. That led to thoughts of how much his best friend had been there for him. Danny had many close friends over the years, but none reached the depth and intensity of emotion as his friendship with Steve. It was something to be cherished and honored and never, ever taken for granted.

Danny had then struggled out of bed and slowly and carefully had attended to his basic needs. He then responded appreciatively to a text from Mindy saying that she would be stopping by that evening with dinner for him. Having slipped into a pair of gym shirts and managing to wrestle himself into a button up shirt, Danny had fastened a couple buttons and then had headed into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee for his nephew before attempting to maneuver his arm into the sling. While placing the coffee grounds into the filter he had begun to feel the first tingling in his back. He had rushed to get the pot of coffee started before the full attack hit but before he could finish filling the pot with water the burning and shocking sensations were so painful that he had to stop before he dropped and shattered the glass pot.

Hurrying outside the best he could he had no time to move the chair into the shade before the need to sit down had overrode everything else. So Danny had sat in the morning sunshine, as the burning pain had spread across his back and deeper into his skin, as the zapping jolts of electric shock-like pain had increased in frequency, strength and duration. He had closed his eyes but it did little to block out the strength of the Hawaiian sun. It was one helluva way to start his first morning home.

Now, as the pain was releasing it's hold on him, Danny released his hold on the arm of the chair and brought his own arm up to wipe the sweat from his brow, panting from the exertion and toll the attack took on him. His eyes still closed, he leaned back in the chair to catch his breath. Moments later he heard the door open and tentative footsteps come his way. Aware that Eric was trying to remain quiet as long as he needed it, he pulled himself together and spoke. "You up already, Eric?"

"Hey Uncle D," Eric blurted out, speaking quickly. "I woke up and saw you out here and saw you had tried to start the coffee pot and knew you were having one of those 'things.' So I left you alone and made the coffee and I brought you this and…" He extended a cool, wet cloth to Danny as he rambled.

"Whoa, hey, slow down," Danny said as he gratefully accepted the cloth and began wiping his face and neck. His head was still spinning and Eric's frantic outburst was too much for his frayed nerves right then.

"Oh sorry Uncle D, I just …"

Danny interrupted again, peering up at Eric through one opened eye. "Just give me a minute, huh? Just a minute."

Eric bounced on his toes with excess energy as he waited for his uncle to feel better again. After a few minutes he could see the tension in Danny's posture ease and he heard the soft exhale of pent up breath. "You want some coffee Uncle D?" he asked softly.

"I'd love some, but you'll have to drink alone," Danny sighed.

"Oh yeah, your blood pressure. That sucks," Eric replied, before realizing that Danny had planned to make the coffee for him, even knowing he couldn't drink it himself.

"A lot of things in life suck Eric." Danny was still squinting against the sunlight.

"Let's get you out of the sun, huh?" Eric said as he extended his hand out to his uncle to help pull him up. "Before you start looking like a tomato."

Accepting the help, Danny was soon settled again in a kitchen chair with a glass of orange juice in front of him as Eric handed him a handful of pills. "Pain killer, muscle relaxer, anti-inflammatory, antibiotic, probiotic…"

"Breakfast of champions," Danny replied before swallowing them down with an OJ chaser.

Eric turned to the stove and a short while later, both men were seated at the table enjoying plates of eggs and toast.

"How are you planning to get to work?" Danny asked. Eric did not have a car and Danny had been his main source of transportation since he moved to Hawaii. Danny knew that Eric had been driving the Camaro since the attack, but he couldn't help playing with the boy a bit. Seeing Eric's flustered look he knew he had done just that. Having mercy on him, he spoke again quickly. "Why don't you take the Camaro? I can't drive it. No use having it rusting in the driveway. This pineapple infested hellhole is murder on the paint."

"Really? You're going to let me drive your car?" Eric looked up surprised.

"You've been driving it anyway, haven't you?" Danny replied with a smirk.

"Well, uh…"

"But if you get even one scratch on it, you'll be paying for repairs," Danny cautioned, hoping he didn't end up regretting this, but he knew there really was no other choice. "It's bad enough when my maniac partner drives it."

"I'll be careful Uncle D. You can trust me."

"I know I can," Danny told him.

Eric beamed a huge Williams' smile back at him and Danny smiled also.

"I'm proud of you Eric. You really stepped up the last two weeks." He paused a moment. "You saved my life and you helped catch the whack job who tried to kill me. You've helped with Grace and Charlie, too. Seriously, I'm proud of you, kid."

"Nothing you wouldn't do for me." In fact, Eric was mature enough to realize just how much Danny had done for him over the years, how much Danny had sacrificed at times to do it.

"I was told you even spent a night with me at the hospital," Danny added. At Eric's affirming nod, he went on. "How did you get that mother hen partner of mine to actually leave?" he asked with a laugh.

"I told him he smelled bad and needed a shower before they threw him out." Eric laughed. His plea had been much more impassioned than that but he left that unsaid.

"Gotta train him right. Good job. According to Steve and the doctor I did some talking while I was out of it. I hope I didn't say something embarrassing," Danny now joked. Steve had told him of a few interesting and humorous comments he had unwittingly made.

Danny had no recollection at all of Eric sitting with him that night and had no idea of what he might have said but by the look on Eric's face he had said something serious. "What? What did I say?"

"You were talking about little green men f***ing on your windowsill," Eric blurted out quickly, before picking up his still half full coffee cup and going to the coffee pot for a refill. His mind was suddenly filled with unwelcomed images put there by Danny's delirious muttering that night in the hospital.

But Danny was more astute than that. "F***ing little green men didn't put that look on your face. What did I say?" Eric was silent so Danny pushed harder. "I need to know Eric. I can't have something between us and not know what it is."

Eric remained silent, struggling internally as he refilled his mug with coffee.

"Eric?" Danny prompted.

Eric turned around, looking at Danny again. "It's nothing really," he lied, before coming clean. "You just mentioned Uncle Matt."

"Matty," Danny said softly. It was like all the air was sucked out of the room. Danny knew immediately that he had said way more in his delirium than he had ever wanted Eric to know. "I'm sorry." Danny's voice was husky and filled with emotion. They stayed like that a moment, Eric standing, Danny sitting, just looking at each other. "Come sit down and finish your breakfast," Danny said even as he pushed his own half empty plate away. Memories of Colombia ruined his appetite. "Go ahead and ask." Danny figured Eric had questions. At this point, he owed him answers.

Eric sat down and took a small bite of eggs. Steve had confirmed that Matt had actually been cut up into pieces and stuffed in a barrel as Danny had unknowingly revealed that night. "No questions."

Both men knew that wasn't the truth. The silence hung in the air between them. Eric nibbled at his eggs while Danny stared at his plate and rubbed his aching head until finally Eric spoke again. "The man who killed him was named Reyes?"

Danny looked at Eric. "Yes." He couldn't believe how much he had revealed that night when he was delirious with fever.

"You killed him?" Eric took a bite of his eggs. It gave him something to do.

Danny pulled his eyes away from Eric's and looked at his plate again. He couldn't look him in the eye. He hesitated. He hated what he had done that night in Colombia, hated the monster he had become in that moment. He finally summoned up the courage to speak but not to look his nephew in the eye. "Yes," he whispered. The truth hurt and Eric's reaction hurt more.

From the corner of his eye, Danny saw Eric shiver despite the heat.

"It wasn't like you killed him to protect Uncle Matt was it? Uncle Matt was already dead. You just…" Voice shaking, Eric didn't know how to continue. He ate more of his eggs. Took a bite of his toast. He didn't taste either one.

He just couldn't look at his uncle, his uncle who had killed a man.

Danny could feel the muscles in his neck and back tighten with the stress, could feel some imaginary band tighten around his head and his chest. He knew he deserved every bit of pain he was feeling. "I just put a bullet between his eyes," Danny whispered darkly, still unable to look at his nephew.

His uncle who had killed a man in cold blood.

Danny saw Eric shiver again. He wondered if he'd ever be able to look at Eric without feeling the shame. Wondered if Eric would ever look at him again without shivering fearfully. "He made you think Uncle Matt was still alive, right? So you went there with money to get him back?"

"Yes."

"Was it money Uncle Matt stole from him?"

"Yes. He wanted it back." Danny didn't mention the money Chin borrowed from Gabriel to help him out because Matt had taken some of the money with him.

"Did this Reyes guy threaten you? Threaten Grace?"

Danny swallowed hard, bit back the anger. "Yes. But that doesn't make it right. I wish I hadn't done it and I wish you never heard any of this."

His uncle who had killed a man in cold blood and thereby eliminated a lying, deceiving, threatening, drug dealing, murdering scumbag from the face of the earth so he could never hurt anybody ever again.

Eric's jaw set firmly then, his countenance hardened. "I'm glad you made that sonuvab***h pay for what he did to Uncle Matt and for threatening Gracie," he ground out.

"Glad?" Danny's heart was hammering in his chest. His hand was shaking as he rubbed it over his mouth, his whole body coiled with tension. "Eric," he let out a shuddering breath, forcing himself to continue. "No. What I did to Reyes was wrong and I've had to live with it ever since. I can barely think of Matty without seeing what I did to Reyes. Every time I close my eyes at night I see him."

Eric nodded mutely, beginning to understand.

"It's like the image is burned into the back of my eyelids." Danny rubbed his hand over his eyes now, as if trying to wipe the image away.

"But you paid for it, in Colombia?"

"Nothing can really make up for what I did, Eric."

"But they beat the crap out of you." Eric could tell now that Danny had also paid a much higher price than just the awful beatings.

Danny nodded, shuddering at the memory of the fear that he would never see Grace again.

There was a knock at the door, effectively ending their conversation. "It's okay. I'll get it," Eric said as he saw Danny struggling to rise.

Moments later, Chin stepped into the kitchen with arms laden with over stuffed bags. He could sense the subdued feeling, something he didn't think he had ever experienced when there were two Williams' in a room together. He looked at his friend. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," Danny said. A glance was exchanged between uncle and nephew as Eric picked up Danny's plate and dumped the remains in the garbage.

"You didn't eat much," Chin observed.

"He had one of those nerve attacks," Eric said by way of explanation as he washed the plate.

Chin nodded, sure there was more to the story, but he let it go. "I filled your prescriptions and picked up all the bandages and things on the list the hospital gave you."

"Thanks babe." Danny hadn't moved from his spot at the table, his hand still rubbing his temples.

Having cleaned the plate, Eric snatched the keys up from the table and headed for the door. "You sure you don't mind me going to Tiffany's after work? She said she understands if I can't come."

"It's fine E. You're a lucky man. Treat her right."

Eric nodded. "I will Uncle D. Thanks for letting me use your car."

"I'm warning you, one scratch on that car and you'll be paying for it," Danny said, with little emotion.

"I'll be careful. Good bye Lieutenant," Eric added to Chin as he left.

Chin looked at Danny. "You're sitting there awfully calm for having him driving your car."

Danny ignored Chin's statement, not trying to be rude but his mind was just elsewhere. "He knows about Matty and what I did to Reyes." Danny's voice was just a whisper. "That night he stayed with me in the hospital," Danny added.

It was all the explanation Chin needed to understand how the young man had found out. "Damn." Putting the bags on the table, Chin sat in the chair that Eric had recently vacated.

"He said he was glad that I made Reyes pay. Worst thing I've done in my life and he's glad."

"He's just a kid, Danny."

"Exactly," Danny shouted. "Exactly! I'm supposed to be his role model, Chin. Stella sent him out here so I could be a good influence on him and look at what he learns from me."

"Did you accept his gratitude?" Chin asked.

"What? No. Are you crazy? I told him it was a mistake that I'll carry with me the rest of my life."

"Then in the end you gave him the right message."

Danny sighed and rubbed his pounding head. "I hope so Chin." He took a deep, shuddering breath as he remembered his brother but the face of Reyes crowded out the memory. "I miss him so much, Chin, and yet I can't think of him without seeing Reyes with a hole in his head. I failed him. I failed my little brother."

Chin sighed. They'd been through this before and he knew that Steve had been through it with Danny as well. Danny had been doing better with it, coming to grips with the realization that Matty had been the one to make the bad decisions and that Danny was not at fault for the whole mess. Yet Danny's pain and grief had been ripped open by the hallucinations and he apparently needed to deal with it all over again. He squeezed Danny's good shoulder. "It wasn't your fault brah. He made his own choices." But Chin knew that even that thought was little consolation to Danny, because it meant that his beloved brother had screwed up royally,

Danny nodded and cleared his throat but didn't speak.

"Come on, let's take care of that wound in your back," Chin said gently, wishing he could take care of the wound in Danny's soul as well.

A/N Just a little educational side note. Although Columbia is a word, the country name is spelled with an "o" instead of a "u". The proper spelling of the country name is Colombia.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I wasn't necessarily planning on writing Mindy's visit but a reviewer asked so nicely and I try to give readers what they want with this story so, here it is, Mindy's visit with Danny. I hope you like it.

A/N I have to say it – I loved last night's (April 1) episode (The Hunter).

A/N Still day 16

H50 H50 H50

Danny was sitting on the sofa in his living room. In his lap was a photo album he had brought back from his last trip to New Jersey. His sling was hanging off the edge of the coffee table where he had tossed it earlier. His bound up right arm had been getting in the way of turning the pages so he had abandoned the contraption. His right arm now hung useless at his side, his ever-present headache pounding in his head.

He had put the album together specifically to have a bit of everything in it. He had never brought any of his old photo albums to Hawaii and he figured it was about time to bring some of the memories of his old home to what had somehow become his new one. There was a family photo in front of the house his parents had bought in South Orange when they finally moved out of Newark. They were all there – his parents, his sisters, Matty, Eric, Rachel, Grace and even his dog. They all looked so happy and innocent; so much had changed since then. How had life become so messed up?

A knock at the door drew Danny from his contemplation. Placing the album on the table he rotated his head to try and alleviate the pain of the constant headache before struggling to his feet and heading to the door. Lou had begun to do his "job" by coordinating help for Danny with meals. Mindy had eagerly offered to go first. Danny had immediately asked if she would stay and eat with him instead of just dropping it off. Company was an even more important sustenance to Danny than food these days.

Really beginning to worry, Mindy knocked on Danny's door for the fourth time. She had even tried calling his cell phone but had no luck there, either. He was expecting her and although his car was gone he couldn't drive so he should be home. Finally completely unnerved she pulled out her cell phone again to see if she had a phone number for Commander McGarrett or one of the other Five-0 team members. Maybe one of them would know what was going on. Just as she was ready to call Max to get McGarrett's phone number, the door opened.

"Hi Mindy." Danny was smiling but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

Mindy couldn't help but smile. She liked Danny. He was a good man and he had become one of her first friends when she came back to Hawaii to work as a Medical Examiner. Right now though, she thought he looked adorable, a word she had never thought of in connection with him before. His normally perfectly groomed hair was a bit disheveled. He was wearing gym shorts, slip-on canvas boat shoes, Vans or Toms she wasn't sure, and a button up shirt that he would normally wear for work. The right sleeve was rolled up to just below the elbow but the left sleeve was all the way down and unbuttoned. What she noticed most, however was that there was only one button fastened on his shirt, low around the navel, exposing his broad, well-defined chest. Not just adorable, he was downright sexy. That was a word she had thought of in connection with him before. It suddenly felt very hot. She stared a moment too long.

"Mindy?"

She blushed and turned her gaze up to his face. That was adorable and sexy too. Those eyes. Get a grip, girl, she thought. "Oh, hi Danny." She bent down and picked up an insulated fabric dish carrier that held her dinner offering and a big, reusable fabric bag that many used for food shopping. "I brought your dinner."

Danny stepped aside and held the door. Ordinarily he would have taken both items from her but right now he couldn't do that and hold the door open at the same time. Along with having no use of his right hand, he was under strict doctors orders to do no lifting with his left. His cell phone vibrated. He pulled it out, glanced at the screen and shoved it back in his pocket.

As they made their way to the kitchen Mindy asked, "Did I interrupt something?"

"Huh?" Danny had no idea why she asked that and the question took him by surprise. "The phone call?"

"No. Before that. I knocked several times, even tried your cell."

Danny sighed. "Oh wow, sorry. I didn't hear you. I was looking through some old pictures. I didn't mean to be rude." He squeezed his temples and rubbed his forehead with his left hand.

"No, it's okay," Mindy said as she set the bags on the counter. "I was ready to call Max and get Commander McGarrett's cell phone number to see if you were okay."

"Whoa, I'm really glad you didn't do that." Danny held his left hand out like a stop signal.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you two were friends."

"Oh, we are. He just tends to be a bit over-protective." His phone vibrated again and he pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. Steve. Laughing, he showed her the phone as he spoke. "See what I mean? The man's an animal. He would have come flying over here with lights and sirens, breaking every speed limit and traffic law on the way, putting innocent lives at risk all in the name of getting to me."

Mindy loved his voice – even joking around it had a sexy bedroom quality to it. Not believing she had actually just thought that Mindy laughed at the image he had just presented. She could picture McGarrett driving like that. She had a tougher time imagining the gruff, serious officer worrying that much about somebody. Then again she didn't know him very well, not like she had come to know Danny. "You must be very good friends then."

Danny smiled and nodded. "Yeah, you could say that. He's a crazy, Neanderthal animal but he's as loyal as an old dog."

Smiling at the image, Mindy asked after her friend's health. "How are you feeling?" She held up her hand as she proceeded. "Honest version, not fake platitudes."

Danny smirked, eyes twinkling at her sincere wish. "My back hurts a lot. Pain meds barely keep the edge off. The wound is still open because they can't get the infection under control."

"You taking the antibiotics exactly as prescribed?"

"Yes, Doc," Danny replied with a hint of sarcasm.

"You still have a headache." She could see he was suffering from it now, his brow pinched in pain, so it wasn't exactly a question.

"Incessantly." He was almost resigned to living with a headache in perpetuity.

Mindy cringed at that. "How's your energy and stamina?" Mindy knew all the basic questions to ask a patient.

"Virtually non-existent," he sighed.

"That's to be expected, Danny. I know it's frustrating…"

"You ever gone through anything even remotely close to this?"

"No," Mindy admitted.

"Then honestly, you have no idea." Danny snapped, then heaved out a sigh and shook his head. He didn't want to take his irascibility out on Mindy. His back and head both hurt like a mother and all he wanted to do was sit down, but he didn't. He pressed is fisted hand up to his mouth, choking back the angry frustration.

Mindy gave him a moment to regroup. The frustration was rolling off of him in majestic waves. His normal state of being was constant motion, full of energy and a vibrantly passionate way of tackling everything in his path. This injury had turned his whole world on it's head. Being released from the hospital was just a very tiny step towards achieving some sense of normalcy for him. She could sense that in a way he felt desperately alone even amidst the groundswell of support from his ohana. She wasn't going to demean his struggle with some banality like 'give it time'. She just shut her mouth and went back to putting dinner on the table.

When he seemed to have settled, she pulled a wine bottle out of the bag and held up her hand to halt his objection before he could even voice it. "It's non-alcoholic wine. Probably tastes like glorified grape juice but I figured it was worth a try."

Having pulled himself together rather quickly Danny smiled again. "I'll get the wine glasses out then."

He had such a nice smile, Mindy found herself thinking, especially when it reached his eyes as this one did. She found herself staring at his back as he opened a cabinet and took out two wine glasses. She shook herself free of those thoughts and proceeded with removing the dish from the carrier. "You told me once that your mother was Italian so I decided to make some Spaghetti Carbonara."

"Really? You know how to make Spaghetti Carbonara? The egg part isn't easy."

Mindy laughed. "I guess we'll find out. I got the recipe online."

"You did that for me?" Danny was surprised. Melissa cooked for him occasionally, but she stuck with what she was familiar and comfortable with. She had never tried out a new recipe just to please him.

"No big deal," Mindy shrugged.

"No big deal? No big deal?" Wide–eyed, Danny placed the two glasses on the table and then his hand caught up with his mouth. "You listened to what I said about my mother, tucked it away in that amazing brain of yours, thought of it again, researched it, shopped for the food and then made it and brought it here – and you say no big deal? Babe, you're gunna make some lucky guy a really happy man one day."

Mindy wasn't quite sure how to take that. A part of her was flattered, a part of her was wondering why Danny was talking about some other unknown man. Wasn't Danny interested? Then she wondered why she thought that at all. She and Danny were just friends. He had a girlfriend, a long-term girlfriend. "You haven't even tasted it, Danny."

"I can smell it," he said as he inhaled deeply. "Heavenly."

Mindy noticed now that Danny was leaning back against the counter, his left hand gripping the edge behind him. A fine sheen of sweat dotted his forehead and there seemed to be a slight tremor in his stance. He looked exhausted, but the way his arm was drawn back to brace himself pulled his shirt open even further, revealing more of his muscular chest. Mindy noticed the hair – she loved hair on a man's chest, never understood why a man would wax his chest to remove the hair, it seemed emasculating. She noticed the tremor again. "You should be sitting down."

"I'm fine," he said, but it seemed to Mindy that he was eyeing the distance to the nearest chair, calculating if he could make it or not.

"Sit down before you fall down, Danny. You're incorrigible."

"You always say that." He smiled. The word could have negative connotations, and if Rachel ever said that word to him it most definitely would be negative, but the way Mindy said it made it seem just fine, even fun and exciting.

"Because it's true," Mindy stated unequivocally but with a gentle laugh. She then pointed to the chair as she placed the salad bowl on the table. "Sit."

When Mindy sat down, Danny finally followed, easing himself into the nearest chair. Had he been waiting for her to sit down? Like a gentleman? Or was he really that tired and worn out? A bit of both possibly?

Yet again he ignored his vibrating cell after glancing at the screen; he placed it on the table.

As they began to prepare plates of food, Mindy spotted Danny's sleeve dangling dangerously near his plate. He kept tipping his arm, trying to keep it out of the way while still serving up the food. Mindy realized that he couldn't roll up that sleeve or even button the button without the use of his right hand. There were so many things that were affected by this injury that it was impossible to even imagine them all. Mindy pointed to his left arm and wiggled her fingers towards her. "Come on," she said simply.

Danny sighed. He hated being so dependent, hated having people do such common things for him. Things he would normally be doing for Charlie he could no longer even do for himself. Face falling into a dejected frown he turned his gaze down to the table.

"It's okay," she said gently as she tapped his hand with a tender touch. "Come on."

Hauling in a breath, he began to shift his arm towards her and then set it back on the table. He hated being dependent. Closing his eyes he pulled in a breath through his nose and then pushed it out through his mouth before raising his arm and extending it to her. He lifted his eyes to her face as she rolled up his sleeve. "You're wearing your hair down." She had beautiful hair and it framed her face just right, accentuating her dark brown eyes.

Finishing rolling up his sleeve, she self-consciously pulled her hand up and touched her hair. "Yeah, I'm required to wear it back when I'm on the job but this is much more comfortable."

To Danny she sounded almost defensive. "I like it," he said simply. "I used to go crazy brushing Grace's hair and putting it into pigtails but she'd say that it stayed in better when I did it than when Rachel did so score one for Dad." He laughed but there was a note of sadness to it as if it was a competition he didn't want to be in.

"Grace is a lucky girl."

Danny was quick to deny it. Having parents who were divorced and having to split your time between two homes didn't seem lucky to him. Then there was having him as a father; Rachel was always telling him of his shortcomings in that regard. "I don't know about that." He wasn't sure why he felt comfortable sharing such a personal insecurity with Mindy. He quickly changed the subject. "We need to eat this before it gets cold. It looks amazing."

Just as they started eating Danny's phone vibrated yet again. Without even looking at the screen he knew who it was. So did Mindy.

"You know he'll keep calling if you don't answer. Maybe even get in the car and break traffic laws and risk innocent lives to get to you." Mindy grinned as Danny smirked.

Danny tapped the screen to answer and picked up the phone. "You are a Neanderthal, you know that? Can't a guy have dinner in peace without you calling every two minutes?" He paused. "Yes, I will take my pills 'mom'; they're right here next to me." He paused again. "No, I don't need you to bring anything. Chin stocked the place very well." Pause. "It's early. Make it two hours." Pause. "Okay, see you then and I've told you, stop calling me partner." Danny tapped the screen to hang up. "Sorry about that. He's coming later to put my arm and shoulder through the exercises I need to maintain mobility until I can use my arm again."

"It's fine, Danny. He wasn't going to let you ignore him. Can I ask you a question though?"

"Sure."

"Why did you tell him to stop calling you partner? You shouldn't give up hope."

Danny gave a soft smile. Mindy was so encouraging. "Oh, I'm not giving up. Has nothing to do with my arm." Mindy was silent and just looked at him, obviously expecting more. "There are five of us on the team now. Not exactly fair to Lou if we keep calling ourselves partners and leaving him out." He rubbed the back of his neck as he rotated his head.

Mindy had her doubts as to that explanation. It seemed to her that there was something else involved, something deeper and more personal than trying to spare Lou's feelings, but this was still a young friendship and she didn't want to push it.

"That's kind of you to think of Lou's feelings like that."

"Oh yeah, that's me, Mr. Sensitive."

A/N Anybody want more of this Mindy visit?


	37. Chapter 37

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N A tip of the hat in this one.

A/N Votes were tallied and another Mindy chapter was the winner. So, here's the rest of her visit.

A/N Still day 16

H50 H50 H50

The dinner with Mindy continued pleasantly with Danny continually raving about how incredibly delicious the food was and how grateful he was for Mindy preparing it for him. "So, I know you like the Carbonara," Mindy said. "What do you think of the non-alcoholic wine?"

"The garlic bread is amazing. I can't believe you made it yourself." Danny grinned. Purposely avoiding her question. "The salad is really good, too. I don't even feel like a rabbit."

Mindy laughed, blushing a bit at the compliments he was so freely bestowing on her efforts. "Thank you, again, for the compliments but you're ignoring my question. It's rude to ignore a question, you know," she teased.

"It's also rude to insult something that a friend brought for you with all good intentions," Danny replied with a smirk as he eyed their still almost full glasses of non-alcoholic wine with disdain.

Mindy finally gave in and laughed. "It's pretty awful, isn't it? Never again."

Danny laughed too. "I think we'd need to check our blood sugar levels after just a glass of that stuff. Water?" He pushed back from the table and moved to rise until a flash of pain through his back stilled his movements.

"Don't mind if I do," Mindy said, rising from her seat. She put a concerned hand on top of Danny's until he nodded stiffly and then she proceeded to the cabinets, not wanting to make a big deal out of his pain. She knew he wouldn't want that, preferring to ride it out in some degree of privacy and dignity. She eyed the cabinets and tried to figure out where the drinking glasses would be. Making a choice she opened one up. "Door number one, just like I thought." She took two glasses out.

"There's a pitcher of cold water in the fridge," Danny said, looking up. "How'd you guess where the glasses were?" Melissa always insisted that the glasses were in the wrong place and that he should reorganize the kitchen.

"Most logical place," was her simple reply.

Conversation moved from how the kitchen was organized to how much Danny and Mindy each enjoyed cooking, to how pineapple never, ever belonged on a pizza and to several other topics. Danny thanked Mindy several times as conversation flowed freely; there was never a lack of subject matter.

Now Danny was sharing a story about a mom and her son at a birthday party that he had attended with Charlie the month before. "So, the mom says to the kid, 'Do you want another slice of pizza or are you good?' Seriously? Seriously? How's the kid supposed to answer that, huh? I mean what kind of message is she sending her kid here? That having a second slice of pizza equates to being bad?" He shook his head. "I'm telling you Mindy, I just don't get it."

"I know exactly what you mean."

"You do?" Rachel had thought he was being stupid and trifling and had told him so. Melissa had just giggled without saying anything. Steve, well, he hadn't even bothered telling him the story.

"Yes. Yes I do. The choice his mother presented to him was having another slice of pizza or being good. If the kid is hungry and wants another slice of pizza that automatically makes him 'not good?' It's an awful message to communicate to your child. I know it's just an expression, 'I'm good,' but it really isn't very good at all."

When dinner was finished Danny feebly attempted to help Mindy clean up the dirty dishes. Not wanting to witness him keeling over in exhaustion, Mindy managed to convince him to show her the photo albums now and they would wash the dishes later.

As they moved to the living room, Mindy observed Danny's sling on the table. "Aren't you supposed to be wearing that?"

"It was getting in the way when I tried to turn the pages," he defended.

"There's a reason you're supposed to use it, you know."

"I'm not moving around much. I won't make the wound bleed."

"You don't know that Danny, but that's only part of the reason. Let me see your hand."

Danny couldn't raise his hand to show it to her but he turned slightly to indicate that he was okay with her checking his hand out. "It's fine, Doc." He emphasized the last word.

"It's swollen and cold." Mindy huffed. "Come on, sit down. Maybe I need to talk to that partner of yours to keep a better eye on you."

Danny simply grunted as he eased himself down onto the sofa.

"Sorry, not your partner. Your Neanderthal friend, is that better?" There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice as she began to massage his hand to get the blood moving out of it.

Danny chuckled. Seems like she appreciated his sense of humor. "Yeah. So my hand really got swollen that quickly?"

"How long has it been out of the sling?"

Danny started to shrug but it hurt so he stopped. "Not long." He then looked at the clock. "Maybe a couple hours."

"That's too long, Danny. You have very poor circulation in your hand right now. If you leave it down it will fill with blood and swell."

"Okay, okay, I get it. I didn't think it was that big a deal."

"Let's get the sling back on," Mindy said as she picked it up and began to do that. Her gaze wandered to his chest again, lingered there. She noticed the stitched up wound, a good two inches in length.

"There a problem with the stitches?" Danny asked, noticing her scrutiny.

Mindy took full advantage of the question and she moved the edge of the shirt to the side. She was tempted to brush her fingers against his chest, accidentally of course, but she resisted. It suddenly felt very hot in there again. His chest was magnificent. She glanced at the wound. "Stitches look fine. It's healing well." She tugged the shirt back into place and proceeded with the process of getting his arm back into the sling.

Not long after, they were seated side by side on the sofa, the photo album in Mindy's lap. Danny would reach over her to point at the people and places in the pictures as he spoke about them.

"It looks like your family is really close," Mindy observed as she looked at the picture of his family in front of the new house. "Everyone is so happy. The dog is gorgeous. What's his name?"

"Spot."

Mindy laughed outright at that. "There's not a spot on him."

"I know." Danny laughed, too.

"That's perfect. I love it." She appreciated the irony. Rachel never had. She told him it was a stupid name and called him Benson instead. Confused the poor thing.

"He's yours?"

"Was." Danny sighed. "Lost him to Rachel in the divorce. Can you believe that? Lost my own dog. Stinking judge gave her everything, including custody of Grace. Then she brought him here and he died in the quarantine process."

"How awful. I had a dog when I was a kid and I cried like crazy when she died. Now that I'm settled back in here I think I want to get another one."

She's a dog person, Danny thought happily. "Do you know what kind you want?"

"Big and active. One I can run and play with. Lap dogs are cute, but they're not my thing."

"Totally agree. I used to play Frisbee with Spot. I'd loft it in the air and he'd chase it down. Snatch it out of mid air every time. When I came home after a hard day at work, he'd be waiting for me at the door. It was this little two-bedroom house in Weehawkin with a white picket fence – very cliché, I know – and a garage door that kept getting stuck. Drove Rachel crazy but it was ours. It had a tiny lawn that I mowed once a week in the summer and raked every fall. Two car driveway that I had to shovel when it snowed." He was getting lost in the reminiscing and Mindy let him. It was interesting to see where his thoughts went. "Many times I'd be late getting home in the bad weather and Rachel would be all upset because I hadn't shoveled yet."

"Why didn't she shovel?"

Danny laughed. "You don't know Rachel. Anyway, the yard was small but there was this beautiful park down the street. I'd bring Grace there in one of those carrier things on my chest or in her stroller when she got bigger and let Spot run. He loved it. We'd play with the Frisbee or a football. He could even stand in front of me and jump up into my arms on command. Man I loved that dog."

"Sounds like you really knew how to train him, too. Will you help me when I get mine?"

"Sure."

"You have a picture of that little house you mentioned? White picket fence and all?"

"Yeah, I had already passed it. It's near the front of the album."

"We should just start at the beginning," Mindy said as she turned the pages back.

There were several pictures with groups of kids. With his blond hair and blue eyes and often sporting a baseball uniform, Danny stood out in all of them, despite his short stature. He named the kids in the pictures - his sisters, his brother, some cousins, some neighbors, some friends. Mindy noticed that one boy was in all of them; usually he and Danny had their arms draped over each other's shoulders and they had huge smiles on their faces. And then, suddenly, he wasn't in the pictures anymore. "Where's Billy?" Mindy missed him, missed Danny's smile when he was there.

Danny sighed. "He died when we were kids." He then proceeded to tell her the story of how Billy had tried to help him in the riptide but drowned in front of Danny in the process. "He was my best friend. Been thinking about him a lot lately." He scrubbed his hand over his face. "I guess you can call him my Susan Landon."

Mindy was surprised that Danny remembered the name of her deceased friend from college who Mindy had told him about more than a year before. It was Danny's care and concern that day that had opened the door to their current friendship. But Danny had been so very young when he lost his friend, and he had watched it happen, too. How utterly, unbearably heartbreaking. "I'm so sorry."

"For years I didn't talk about it," Danny confessed. "Had to talk about it way too much when it happened – the lifeguards, my parents, Billy's parents, the police. The kids at school were awful. It was like I was some stinking celebrity because I watched my best friend die. Girls who never spoke to me before would come up to me and talk. They liked to ask if I cried. The guys, some wanted to know what it was like to drown - was it slow, did he thrash around, did he scream? Seriously, how sick is that? Some wanted to know what it's like to watch someone die. Others whispered behind my back that I was a good swimmer so they wondered why I didn't save him – as if I didn't try."

As with the story of the small house he owned with Rachel, Mindy remained quiet and let Danny speak at his own pace. Her heart broke at the ache she could hear in his voice. So many years later and the pain remained raw and deep.

"So I just stopped talking about it."

Mindy understood what he was talking about. She had experienced some of that when Susan was murdered. But again, her situation was far different – she was an adult and she hadn't watched it happen.

"I told Steve a few years ago," Danny added quietly. "We talked about him more last week. It felt good to talk about Billy with him."

She was glad Danny now had someone to share the burden. Actually now he had her, too. "He's a good friend."

"Steve? He's the best," Danny replied honestly. He wasn't ashamed to admit it, to her anyway. "Don't tell him I said that. Beside from Grace, he made this pineapple infested lava rock bearable, when he wasn't getting me shot at."

As she contemplated just how horrible Billy's death must have been for Danny a sudden thought occurred to her. "Is that why you don't like the ocean?"

Danny was shocked. It was like she could see right through him. "Yeah," he answered softly, honestly. "I used to love the ocean. Now…? Another glitch like the claustrophobia, I guess."

"Hey, it's perfectly understandable. You went through quite a trauma at a very young age. But you're surfing now so you're obviously fighting your way through it. That takes a lot of courage."

This made Danny consider Melissa and her traumas and resultant battles. Would she ever be able to get past them? Did she have the courage to move past them? Could he give her that courage?

Danny was becoming melancholy and that was not what Mindy wanted. She wanted to try and cheer him so she turned her attention back to the album. But, so many of the pictures seemed to feature people who Danny had lost in one way or another. There was Rachel who had walked out on him and their marriage taking Grace and Spot with her. There was his partner Grace who had been killed in the line of duty. Mindy could tell there was even more of a story there but she didn't push it.

There was a man named Dave Collins and Meka, his partner in Hawaii before Five-0. Both men were dead now. Then there were his parents and sisters and so many aunts and uncles and cousins who he had to leave behind in New Jersey. Young Eric had followed him here but the others were so very far away now and so seldom seen.

Danny's eyes filled with tears as his hand stopped tenderly on a picture. Danny was all dressed up in a suit and he was standing proudly next to his younger, but much taller, brother who was wearing a cap and gown. A number of honor cords hung around his neck. "Matty graduated summa cum laude from Seton Hall," Danny said, voice filled with pride. He grinned as he glanced at Mindy. "He was crazy smart like you Johns Hopkins people, but crazy stupid too."

"Was?"

"Max didn't tell you?" Danny asked.

"Max's human to human communication skills are a bit lacking," Mindy replied with a small grin.

Danny nodded in understanding. "Matty was murdered last year. Had gotten himself into some big trouble with a Colombian drug lord."

"How had he managed that?"

"Like I said, crazy smart and crazy stupid."

"And you, my dear friend, blame yourself," Mindy observed tenderly.

Danny was silent. How did she know him so well?

"I don't know what really happened," Mindy added softly, "but Matt was a grown man who could make his own choices. You can't blame yourself for not being able to get him out of whatever trouble he got himself into."

"It's not that simple."

"Life is never simple."

Danny stopped himself from saying 'damn right'. He never cursed in front of Mindy. It just didn't seem right. "That's for sure." He paused a moment, his hand still on the picture of him and Matty. "I'm told that when I was in the hospital, fighting the infection and reacting to the pain meds, that I had some very vivid dreams. Hallucinations really. I don't remember them but I can still feel them. It's like Matty and Billy - all of them really – it feels like they just died yesterday. It's just right here." He touched his chest indicating his heart. He didn't mention Melissa walking out on him. Didn't feel right sharing that with Mindy, even though that too had broken his heart.

"I'm so sorry. How awful." She had tears in her eyes and a hitch in her voice over his pain.

Danny nodded, tears in his eyes as well. "Geez, I'm sorry for laying all this on you."

"No, it's okay. But I'm doing a terrible job of cheering you up." She wiped her tears away.

He cleared his throat, pushing the raw emotions down. "Is that why you're here? I thought you came to feed me."

Mindy laughed. "The cheering up is a bonus."

"You were better at the feeding part." Danny smiled, his eyes sparkling, despite the pain and anguish.

Mindy laughed again. She knew that Danny was just teasing. Joking seemed to be the self-defense mechanism of this very sensitive man. "Well, my mom used to say that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach so maybe I'll have to cook for you more to help cheer you up."

Danny liked the sound of that. Not only was Mindy a very good cook, if the Spaghetti Carbonara was any indication, but she had most definitely helped to ease his troubles by her endearing presence. He smiled. "Babe, you can cook for me anytime."

Mindy tried not to read more into that than Danny had intended. She loved spending time with him but she knew that he had a girlfriend and she knew that the very last thing that Danny needed in his life was another complication. So, she swore to herself that she simply would give Danny all the friendship, support and encouragement that she could give. "Anytime, huh? I guess I better talk to Lou and see how many times I can get my name on that list of his."

"Not good enough," Danny countered with a crooked grin and twinkling eyes that made Mindy's knees quake. If she had been standing she would have fallen to the floor.

"Making you more dinners isn't good enough?"

"Nope. You have to agree to stay and eat with me too, give me that bonus you mentioned."

Be still her heart. She couldn't ask for more. "You're incorrigible." She didn't know what else to say.

"So, I've heard."


	38. Chapter 38

A/N I do not own the rights to Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Oops, somehow I posted the wrong draft of the last chapter. So much for setting up future chapters. No worries, I'll make it work somehow. One thing that didn't make it to the posted draft, however, was that the "tip" was a two-parter. (Real life is making me rush. I hope it's better than not posting at all.) Many of you got part of it - the tricks Scott has taught his dog Dot to do. I'm kind of surprised that nobody got the other part. The other part of the tip of the hat to Scott was the dog's name "Spot". In the movie "The Dog Problem", written by (and directed by and co-starring) our multi-talented Scott Caan, the dog's name is Spot despite not having a spot on him. It was one of the quirky, hilarious moments of the movie when the name was revealed. I loved it and laughed so hard. Maybe I just get Scott's sense of humor.

A/N This was originally posted as Chapter 6, before I decided to flesh out the story due to so many heart warming, supportive reviews. See that chapter for a longer explanation if needed. Bottom line is that it now fits into the story chronologically. I did fix it and change it a little, but not much.

Always find things to be thankful for.

H50 H50 H50

Thanksgiving came just a few days after Danny was released from the hospital. It was his turn to have Grace, and Charlie was now part of the package. With only one functioning arm and him still being in considerable pain it was difficult/impossible for him to be a proper caregiver to them. However, on Thanksgiving he would be with his ohana so he would have plenty of help. So, Steve headed over to Danny's in the morning, picked him up and then the kids from Rachel's before heading to the field where they would play their 3rd annual Thanksgiving football game.

When they arrived at the field, Grace hopped out of the truck and quickly ran over to where Lou's daughter Samantha was standing. They hugged and chatted amiably after she had greeted the others. Steve was already around the truck and had Charlie unbuckled by the time Danny eased himself out of the front passenger seat, pain and fatigue making him take it very slow. Charlie slipped his little hand into Danny's much larger hand immediately and they all headed over to the already assembled group.

The whole gang was there. Some would go back to Steve's later for dinner but some had other plans. Eric, for example, was having dinner with his new girlfriend Tiffany, who he met when he was a student in Danny's class.

Having given Grace a hug, Kono left the crowd and trotted over to the rest of the newcomers, bubbling with excitement over finally meeting Charlie and seeing Danny up and around. "Hey you!" she said to Danny as she greeted him with a quick hug which he returned happily.

"What about me?" Steve said with a fake pout. "Don't I get one?"

"You are such a child, Steven," Danny joked as Kono hugged Steve. He then looked down at Charlie. "Hey Tiger. This is Auntie Kono. She's a friend of mine."

Charlie gave her a big smile, which looked so much like Danny's smile she couldn't believe it.

Kono smiled in return. "Hi Charlie. It's so nice to finally meet you. Your Dad has told me all about you."

"You're pretty," was Charlie's reply, causing the three adults to laugh. The little boy turned to Danny and Steve. Why were they laughing? "You don't think she's pretty?"

Steve cleared his throat. He'd leave this one to Danny who handled it very smoothly in Kono's opinion. "I think she's very pretty Charlie. You have good taste." He winked at Kono and she grinned in return.

Chin came next and extended his hand to Charlie who took it and looked Chin right in the eye. "Hi Charlie," Chin said. "I'm Uncle Chin. Your Dad is a good friend of mine."

"Do you catch bad guys with Danno?"

"Yes, I do."

"Grace says Danno's the best at catching the bad guys," Charlie said proudly.

"I think Grace is right," Chin agreed, looking up at Danny with a grin as he tousled the boy's blond hair.

Too impatient to wait, the rest of the gang came over now as a group. Lou and Renee and their son Will, Abby, who had come with Chin, Kono's husband Adam, Kamekona, Flippa, Max, Jerry, Duke, Pua, and several other HPD officers. Eric knew Charlie, they were cousins after all, but he brought Tiffany over and hung at the back of the crowd. The last time she had seen Danny he was Professor Jeffries and teaching criminal procedure, and he was not sporting a sling, stitches and a hole in his back.

Danny began to introduce Charlie to everybody and the little boy smiled sweetly, his small hand tucked into his father's larger one. They were all so excited to finally meet Danny's little boy.

However, Charlie quickly became overwhelmed with all the attention and turned his face into Danny's leg. "Danno!" he pleaded. Clinging tightly to Danny's hand, he tugged on it, begging to be picked up. With his right arm useless, and sporting numerous stitches in his chest and an open wound in his back, still relying on painkillers to get him through a day, there was no way Danny could pick him up.

"Sorry Tiger," Danny told him regretfully. "The doctors said I'm not allowed to pick you up."

But Charlie had a plan B and releasing Danny's hand he turned quickly to Danny's best friend. "Uncle Steve!" he now pleaded.

Steve was surprised but pleased. Charlie was so much like his Dad – talkative, funny and constantly moving, yet also subject to anxious moments it seemed. He scooped the little boy up in his arms like an old pro. In Steve's heart, Charlie and Grace were his nephew and niece, as dear to him as if they were his by blood, as dear to him as their father was.

"I got ya Tiger," Steve assured him as Danny smiled his approval and thanks. "These are all friends of Danno's."

"Danno has lots of friends," Charlie told Steve in awe. "I have a friend. His name is Wokoli. We play together."

"Well, this is Lou and his wife Renee…" Steve proceeded to tell Charlie the names of everybody there. The boy wouldn't remember but somehow it seemed to calm him to hear the names. From the safety of Steve's arms, the boy felt comfortable to speak to them, displaying his wit and way with words more than once.

As Steve and Charlie spoke to the ohana, Eric led his date around the group to Danny. "Tiffany, I'd like to introduce you to my Uncle Danny." He had told Tiffany everything after the attack. She had been surprised, of course, and very concerned about Danny's health. Eric was thrilled that she then agreed to go out with him.

"It's nice to officially meet you," Danny said, extending his left hand in greeting.

"Wow!" Tiffany exclaimed. "How are you feeling? Are you alright?" She had been shocked when Eric told her about the attack on Professor Jeffries and even more shocked that he had been undercover and was Eric's uncle.

"I'm doing okay, thanks to Eric," Danny replied. It was true that Eric had quite possibly saved his life and Danny was happy to make sure this beautiful young woman knew that. Eric looked truly happy since he met her and that made Danny happy. "He saved my life." He exchanged a brief look with Eric. They weren't big on goofy sentimental stuff but a man had to give credit where credit was due.

Tiffany looked at Eric and beamed. She really liked him and was just so proud of him right now. Eric blushed, but was saved from having to say something when he heard his name being shouted.

"And over there next to Danno is…"

"Eric." Charlie shouted out as if he was giving an answer.

"Hey buddy," Eric replied. "This is my friend Tiffany."

Charlie waved and Steve spoke to the young CSU tech. "Hey Eric, how'd you get here? Drive your uncle's car? Don't you love driving around in that cool black Camaro?" He was busting on Eric and Danny both.

"Everybody drives my car but me," Danny lamented to Tiffany. "Even before this." He pointed to the sling by way of explanation.

"It's a very nice car. Eric told me it was yours," she assured him, not wanting him to think that Eric had tried to deceive her. "We were all so shocked to hear what happened to you and equally as shocked to hear that you weren't really a professor. Everybody thought you gave an amazing lecture."

"Don't let it go to your head Danny. She's just trying to be nice," Steve said.

Danny thanked her anyway and then the conversation turned to picking teams for the football game. Lou's arthritic knees prevented him from playing so he said that he'd sit this one out. Renee wasn't particularly interested in playing either and she begged off as well.

The three watched as the game got under way, Charlie doing his best to help Uncle Steve throw and tackle. Soon, the little tyke tired of the game and came over to them and pointed to the playground on the other side of the large field. "Danno, Danno, will you take me to the playground? Please?" He loved going to the playground with Danno.

Danny looked towards the playground. To his exhausted body it looked so very far away, but it wasn't in him to deny his children something like this. He'd just grit it out.

Renee had other ideas. "I love the playground, Charlie. Would you like to go with me?"

Charlie looked at her, then at the playground, then at Danny. He didn't want to disappoint him. Danno liked the playground too.

"It's okay Tiger. You want to go with Mrs. Grover?"

"Yeah. Yeah!"

"You sure?" Danny asked Renee, gratitude evident in his expressive eyes.

"As long as I'm allowed to be Aunt Renee instead of Mrs. Grover," she said with a smile.

"Of course. Thank you."

"There are a couple chairs in the truck," Renee told Lou, giving him a goodbye kiss. "Your knees will thank me," she added as Charlie tugged on her hand.

They took a few steps before Charlie let go of her hand and came running back. He gave Danny a quick hug around the legs. "I love you Danno."

"I love you more," Danny replied as his son hurried off again. He then turned to his teammate next to him. "She's a good woman, Lou," Danny said of his wife.

"That she is," he agreed. "But she'll have my head if I don't get you in a chair so if you'll excuse me for a moment."

"Hey! The chairs are for your arthritic knees, old man," Danny shouted after him with a laugh.

Lou brought the chairs back and opened them both. "You look pretty pale even for a white guy," he told Danny, payback for the old man comment. "Put your butt in the chair before you keel over and make a fool of yourself in front of Eric's pretty new girlfriend. All those college girls fawning all over you, sending you gifts like you're some TV star. Shameful, that's what it is." He chuckled, remembering all the gifts, flowers and balloons that had filled Danny's hospital room.

Grinning at the teasing Danny sank into the chair gratefully, left hand unconsciously reaching up and massaging his aching right shoulder, pain lines furrowing across his forehead. Truth was, he wasn't sure how much longer he could have stayed upright. They turned their attention to the field and Danny noticed Steve shoot a worried look his way.

"He worries more than my own mother," Danny told Lou.

"Doesn't want to have to break in a new partner," Lou retorted.

"Yeah, I'm sure he really misses me," Danny said with a sarcastic laugh. There were plenty more "partners" around at 5-0.

More than you think Lou thought before saying, "Nah, he just misses your Camaro."

They watched the game for a while, making comments here and there about the game, which was pretty evenly matched this year. "Man, I wish I was playing," Danny finally confessed.

"You got good hands out there," Lou said, a compliment to Danny's skills as a receiver that both Steve and Chin loved to have on their team. "You'll be out there next year."

"From your mouth to God's ears." They watched the game in silence for a while before Danny stood up. "I can't just sit here." But the movement was followed by a pained groan and a stilling of movement while he clutched his shoulder and breathed through the pain in his back.

"Seems to me you're better off sitting," Lou observed.

"I can't sit still, Lou." He had confided to Lou about his anxieties when he was helping Lou deal with Samantha, so the man knew where he was coming from. "All this stuff just starts filling my head. Going round and round, driving me crazy."

"You never like being still, do you?" It was more a statement than a question. He recalled Danny's compliant about teachers. He was lying in a pool of his own blood with that knife shoved all the way through his body and he was talking about how teachers were scary because they wanted you to 'sit still and listen'.

"No, not really," Danny laughed, easing himself back into the chair. Standing was too much of a strain. He turned his attention back to the game he wished he were playing. "Need to be doing something - anything."

"Hey, I have a small table and chess board in the truck. You want to play?" Danny always kicked his butt at chess, but he knew Danny loved the game and needed the distraction.

Now that was a game he could play in his current condition. "Yeah, sure," Danny said. "Thanks Lou."

"Anytime Jersey."

When the football game was over and Danny had won several chess matches, Eric and Tiffany said their goodbyes and headed for her home for dinner with her family. Duke headed home to have dinner with his family, as did the other HPD officers, except for Pua. He still held out hope that Kono would introduce him to somebody very much like her. The rest of them headed home for a shower and to prepare or pick up food for the gathering at Steve's. Danny and his kids went directly to Steve's house.

Charlie fell asleep in the truck and when they arrived at the house Steve carefully carried him upstairs to the big bed in Steve's old bedroom.

Danny was exhausted and in pain. He grabbed his duffel bag that held his medicine and a change of clothes for himself and Charlie, just barely managed to drag himself out of the truck and almost, almost asked Grace to help him up the path and into the house. He wouldn't do that though, wouldn't worry his Monkey like that. So he sucked it up and made it to the house by himself.

Grace watched her father struggle out of the truck. He didn't look good. He looked tired and hurting. For a second she thought he was going to pass out in Steve's driveway, but he somehow managed to push the pain and fatigue aside and make it to the house. It didn't surprise Grace. Nothing could ever beat her father, her hero.

"Hey Monkey. You want to change your clothes now or later?" She was wearing sneakers, comfortable sport shorts and a royal blue Seton Hall University baseball shirt that her dad had brought back from his last trip to New Jersey. She wanted to wear something nicer when everyone came for dinner so she brought a change of clothes.

"Later," was the quick teenager reply.

Danny now headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water to take his pain pill. The pain in his back was excruciating and the front of his shoulder didn't feel much better. He was so tired of the pain.

Placing the bag on a chair he struggled a bit with the zipper before finally getting it to open. Digging around inside he found his pill bottle and set to opening it with his left hand. Succeeding at that he poured a few pills out on the table and then put all but one back in the bottle and closed it again. He looked across the kitchen at the cabinet and the sink. Too far. He popped the pill in his mouth and dry swallowed it instead. Tucking the pill bottle back under his clothes in the bottom of the bag, he picked the bag up and headed out of the kitchen.

Steve was just coming down the stairs when he saw Danny coming out of the kitchen, looking very much like something the cat dragged in. "Come on buddy. Let's get you upstairs. There's room next to Charlie."

Danny started to object. "I have food to prepare." Everybody was bringing something and he was supposed to supply his famous sweet potato casserole, complete with marshmallows on top. Normally, he'd do more than that. He'd become pretty handy in the kitchen since his divorce. But this year he just couldn't handle more. As it was they were using canned sweet potatoes instead of fresh, reducing the workload dramatically.

"It can wait," Grace assured him. "I'll help you with it when you wake up."

Danny started to object again, just out of sheer stubbornness, but he was so tired and his back and shoulder hurt so much that he gave up. "Alright." He looked at his daughter and his best friend. "You sure you don't mind?"

Steve put his arm around Grace's shoulders and smiled. "Of course not. We'll just get a few things done and then hang on the lanai, right Gracie?"

Grace grinned. "Right Uncle Steve!"

Danny smiled as well. He loved how close Grace and Steve had become. "Why do I have the feeling I'm going to regret this?" he joked.

Steve hovered behind Danny as he made his way up the stairs. It was slow going and Steve was tempted more than once to wrap his arm around Danny's waist and help him but he knew that wouldn't go over well. As it was, Danny had a comment to make. "You're doing a very nice impression of a helicopter Steven. You know I've been walking up stairs by myself since I was two."

"Yeah, and it probably took you this long the first time," Steve shot back as Danny managed to drag himself up another step.

Finally making it to the top, Danny was completely drained. He leaned against the wall, tempted to just slide to the floor and sleep there. "Almost there, buddy. How ya feeling?" Steve asked.

"How's it look like I'm feeling?" Danny grumbled. Sometimes Steve asked the dumbest questions.

"Like it hurts like hell."

It was true, but Danny didn't answer. Working in silence so as not to awaken Charlie who was asleep in the bed just inside the doorway, Steve helped Danny remove his arm from the sling. With the added straps to immobilize his shoulder by securing his arm to his chest, it was impossible to put on and difficult to remove by himself.

That done, Danny moved into the bedroom and began to work the buttons on his shirt with his left hand. He couldn't pull a shirt over his head so he was wearing dress shirts with nothing underneath it all the time now. Often he left it unbuttoned when he was at home. As Danny struggled with getting even one button undone, Steve entered the room and reached over to help. Danny slapped weakly at his hand but then let Steve unbutton the shirt. Too worn out to object Danny also allowed Steve to assist him in taking his shirt off. Toeing off his shoes, Danny eased himself down onto the bed next to Charlie, stifling a groan. Steve applied the pain reducing gel and then Danny was sound asleep before Steve left the room.

Danny awoke to the sound of familiar voices drifting up from downstairs. He smiled when he heard Charlie's voice, the words indistinct, and then a ripple of laughter from several adults. His son apparently had awakened and felt comfortable enough to go down without him. Seemed like his son was settling in with the group just as Grace had done and that truly pleased him. He looked at the clock; he had slept much longer than he had expected.

Danny knew he had to get up and go downstairs, but he also knew that moving would cause him pain. Right now it was a fairly dull pain, rest and pain medicine having done their job, but he knew from experience that as soon as he began to move or even take a deep breath, the pain would flare anew.

Refusing to give in, Danny ran a list of things to be thankful for through his mind then, gritting his teeth, he set about getting himself out of the bed and getting his clean shirt on.

Shirt unbuttoned and hair slightly ruffled, Danny looked rather adorable coming slowly down the stairs, his sling held in his left hand as his right hand hung limply at his side.

"Well, if it isn't sleeping beauty himself," Chin joked when he spotted him on the stairs.

"Silly Uncle Chin," Charlie laughed from his spot snuggled in Kono's lap. "Sleeping Beauty is a girl." He had warmed up to the ohana quickly.

"Looks more like one of the Seven Dwarfs to me, Keiki" Kamekona tossed out.

"They were with Snow White," Grace informed him, joining the fun.

"Well Grace. He definitely looks like Sleepy to me," Max said.

"Or maybe Grumpy," Jerry offered.

"Well, he certainly doesn't look happy," Kono said after Danny shook his head and gave a fake growl as he moved off the last step and onto the floor.

"If you ask me, he looks like Do…"

"Nobody asked you, Steven!" Danny shouted jokingly with a quick turn in his partner's direction. He quickly regretted the shout and the move as a flare of pain shot through him. He tried to cover it up but he stiffened a bit, paled slightly and let out a small gasp.

He was promptly ushered to the recliner where he was immediately set upon by his adoring kids. "Hey Monkey. Hey Tiger." He was all smiles now. Oh how he loved these kids!

Charlie climbed into his lap. With his dad's shirt unbuttoned he eyed the stitches. "Does your boo-boo still hurt, Danno? I still have to be careful?"

"Yeah Tiger. Still do."

"It looks like a caterpillar," Charlie said, which elicited soft chuckles from the adults nearby who heard him. The stitched up wound really did look a bit like a caterpillar.

Charlie then set about buttoning Danny's shirt. Intent on his work, the tip of the little boy's tongue stuck out of his mouth, reminiscent of his father's own habit.

Grace came over with a large warm compress in hand and settled on the arm of the chair next to her dad's injured side and placed the compress on his shoulder and up against his neck. It helped with the tightness and muscle spasms. Danny hissed slightly but then settled in as the heat began to work. "Did you sleep well, Danno?" Grace asked.

"Sure did Monkey. Now we have to prepare those sweet potatoes."

"You don't have to do anything," she informed him. "I made the executive decision to let you sleep and make the sweet potato dish myself, after a quick call to Grandma Williams for the recipe," she added a bit sheepishly.

"Grandma knew how to make them?" Danny asked, incredulous. His mother was not a very good cook. Ketchup on spaghetti – it still made him cringe. She had, however, managed to learn how to make excellent lasagna just like her mom made it but that was about it.

"Well, not really so I kind of made it from memory. I've helped you make it many times. I hope I did it right."

"I'm sure it'll be great, Gracie," Kono interjected with a murmur of agreement from the others.

"How's your grandma, Grace?" Lou asked. He had come to know her pretty well after taking her on a ride-along during her visit.

"Worried about my dad," she answered with a frown. "Pops is, too." She turned to Danny now. "They want you to call them before midnight."

When dinner was ready and Steve had helped Danny into his sling, everyone gathered together to give thanks. Danny's joking comment that he was thankful for people willing to cut his food for him belied the seriousness of the message behind it – his thankfulness for this amazing ohana, each one of whom continued to be so supportive.

Joys were much sweeter and pain was more bearable when you were surrounded by people who cared about you and loved you. Everyone should have a circle of friends like this, Danny thought. What a much better world it would be if everybody did.

A/N There you have it dear readers, 32 chapters written solely because of your awesome reviews. No worries, my muse is still working at warp speed so there are more chapters to come.


	39. Chapter 39

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 nor any of the characters.

H50 H50 H50

Danny was surprised when he looked through the peephole on his front door and saw who had been ringing his bell. With a resigned sigh, he opened it. "Hi Rach."

Rachel gave her ex-husband an appraising gaze. His arm in a sling that was velcroed tight to his body was obvious, but so was his pale complexion and the brow furrowed with pain. He was barefoot and wearing shorts. His button up shirt was only partially buttoned and she could see evidence of his strong chest despite the sling. To this day Danny physically turned her on. But that wasn't why she had come. "How are you Daniel?"

"I'm fine. You?" Other than necessary contact regarding the children, he hadn't seen or spoken to Rachel since she revealed that Charlie was his son and that she had purposely lied about it for years. As far as Danny was concerned the limited contact was working out just fine.

"Would you mind if I come in? We can talk a little while." Her voice was calm and gentle.

Danny sighed. "Why are you here. Rach? What do you want?" Now that his eyes had been opened and he was able to think clearly when it came to Rachel, he had realized that she always seemed to want something.

"I'm just concerned about you, Daniel. I still do care."

Danny scoffed at that.

"You're the mother of my child - children," she corrected. She was still getting used to living the truth now herself.

Danny wasn't thrilled with the prospect. He was tired and hurting and was due to take his pain meds. He couldn't really say no to her, however. He'd always found it difficult to say no to her. He stepped aside. "Yeah, sure. Come on in." He didn't move to hug her or give her a kiss on the cheek or even offer her a drink or anything. She rarely came to his home. Danny did almost all of the pick-up and drop-off of the kids. That began when Rachel had custody of Grace and Danny only had visitation rights and simply continued when he had succeeded in obtaining joint custody of his beloved daughter. When he was at their house Rachel never offered him anything so he'd repay with the same lack of hospitality.

Rachel stepped in and gazed around the room. She had never been in this house before. She had been in some of his earliest abodes when he first followed them to Hawaii, but by the time Danny had managed to save enough money to buy this house things between them had soured. The room was neat and tidy with comfortable, practical furniture. Samples of Grace and Charlie's artwork were on the walls and tables. A book that Grace was reading rested on an end table next to several children's books. Danny had always been a reader, she mused, and had passed that love of books on to Grace but Charlie would never sit still long enough to look through a book. She pointed to the children's books, her eyebrow raised in query.

"Yeah, he loves when I read to him as much as Grace did." He smiled at that.

Rachel didn't comment. She would never tell Danny that he was the only one capable of getting Charlie to sit long enough for a book. No, that was useless information that Danny didn't need. She looked around some more. "How many bedrooms?"

"Three." Danny shifted his arm in the sling with his left hand, trying to ease the pain in his back.

"Eric is living with you now, right?"

"For the moment. He's moving out soon. Signed a lease already."

Danny's cell phone rang. Saying a quick "Excuse me," to Rachel, he pulled it from his pocket and answered without looking. "Williams." Pause "You have nothing better to do, Steven? Seriously?" pause "Yes, buddy, I know what time it is. I haven't taken them yet but I will." Pause "I'm in the middle of something, alright? I gotta go." Danny looked up at Rachel now with a wry grin. "Steve would make a good nurse," he joked.

"He called to see if you took your medicine?"

"Yes, apparently he doesn't yet realize that I know how to tell time," Danny joked.

She moved through the dining room and into the kitchen now. Danny had never cooked when they were married. That had been her responsibility though she never particularly enjoyed it. Danny was always too busy with his job to cook. She conveniently forgot that Danny took care of the house and yard and spent copious amounts of time with Grace. "Such a cute little kitchen," Rachel said.

Danny didn't think it was that small, but compared to the restaurant sized kitchen in the mansion she lived in with Stan, he figured he could understand the thought. "Thanks," he mumbled. He eyed the cabinet where his meds were safely stashed out of the sight and reach of the children. Opening it he pulled out the bottle of pain pills and fiddled with the lid before Rachel swiped it from his hand. "Hey!" he shouted in protest.

"You look like you need help," Rachel said as she read the label, popped the top off and took out a pill.

"I don't need help," Danny growled defensively as she handed him the pill. He swallowed it down with a drink from a reusable plastic water bottle. He really didn't like being treated like an invalid. He picked up the amber pill bottle from where Rachel had left it on the counter. Stifling a groan as much as he could he reached high and placed it back on the top shelf and closed the cabinet.

He then led Rachel back out to the dining room where she now peered out into the back yard through his big glass doors.

"I was planning to build a swing set last weekend," he told her. The knife attack had ruined that plan. "Charlie will love it."

Still getting used to the reality that Danny was now a part of Charlie's life, and a very loving and involved part at that, Rachel replied simply in her clipped British accent. "Yes, quite." She then turned back towards the living room and moved to sit on the sofa. Feeling the need to keep his distance, Danny moved to the love seat that sat caddy-cornered to the sofa where Rachel was now seated. He eased himself gingerly down into the soft cushions but remained quiet.

"The children are both expecting you to pick them up after school," Rachel said.

"Yes, I know."

"You can't drive, can you?"

"No. I have rides. It's all arranged." Charlie was done with preschool well before Grace was done with school and cheerleading practice so two trips were necessary.

"I can send the driver to pick them up and bring them to you if you need it," Rachel offered.

"It's okay, I have it all arranged," Danny repeated.

"Well, if you ever need him to get them, just let me know."

Danny nodded his thanks. He couldn't imagine he'd ever ask for that. In his mind that was the parent's responsibility. He'd call a cab or an Uber if he had to but he would be there to get his kids, but he tried to be polite. "I'll keep that in mind."

"You can't handle Charlie by yourself, can you?" Rachel now asked. "With only one arm?"

"He's not difficult," Danny replied. At least he wasn't difficult for Danny anymore, now that Danny had instilled some loving discipline in him. Rachel's question had his gut twisting though.

Rachel scoffed at that. Charlie was Danny's son and had many of the same character traits, a propensity for talk, temper and non-stop motion among them.

"Someone will be here with us," Danny said, adjusting his right arm in the sling with his left hand, "if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh, that's good," Rachel said, smiling. "I don't want you overdoing it. How are you really?"

Rachel sounded genuinely concerned which surprised Danny. Things had been so strained between them for so long now, but they had loved each other once. Releasing a sigh, he began. "My back hurts, a lot. They still haven't closed it."

"It's still open?" Rachel was shocked. "And they let you go home?"

"Yes Rach. I did not sign myself out. They left it open to keep a better eye on the infection, that's all. The sterile dressings will just have to be changed out regularly."

"Who will do that?"

"Steve, Chin, Eric, visiting nurse. It'll depend." He shifted uncomfortably on the love seat. He hadn't felt comfortable in weeks but sitting here with his ex-wife made it even worse.

Rachel nodded. Noticing his painful shifting, she added, "The pain is constant?"

Danny was tempted to say no, but saw no reason to lie. "Hurts like hell most of the time. They had to cut my pain meds in half because I was having a bad reaction to them." He squeezed his temples, his headache flaring. Despite how kind she was being, Rachel's surprise visit was managing to raise his fickle blood pressure.

"Sounds awful, Daniel. What about your arm and hand? Any feeling or movement?"

Danny sighed dejectedly as he shook his head. "No."

"Will it happen? Will you get the use of your arm back?"

"I believe so."

"That's what the doctors are saying now?" Rachel asked cheerily.

Danny hesitated. He was trying to maintain a positive attitude but the odds weren't great. "Not exactly." He really didn't want to get into this with Rachel.

"They're still saying the odds are slim?" Rachel asked with a compassionate tone.

Danny sighed. "Yeah." The truth hurt and the word stuck in his throat as he forced it out. He rubbed the back of his neck and then adjusted his arm in the sling again. "I'm confident though." He continually worked hard at believing that.

Rachel went on to ask many more questions, sounding very concerned and caring. It felt like old times to Danny, back when he meant something to her. Warmed by her compassion and understanding, Danny was forthcoming with his feelings and concerns.

Exhausted and in need of a rest, Danny was relieved when she finally announced, "Well, I need to get going. We're attending a banquet tonight. Stan is receiving an award. I need to get ready."

"You're going with him?" Danny asked. He had received a number of awards with the Newark PD and she had rarely attended the ceremonies. Granted they weren't fancy banquets, but she was often the only wife not in attendance.

"Of course. I'm so proud of him. He's made quite a name for himself in business circles."

Danny nodded unhappily. That was the crux of it. Rachel had never been proud of Danny's achievements as a cop. She knew he was a police officer when she first bumped his car so she could meet him, but she never embraced the importance of his career. "Thanks for stopping by," he said as she walked out the door.

He wondered vaguely why she had bothered to stop by and check on him. Other than when he had been poisoned by the Sarin gas when they were temporarily back together, she had never bothered to visit him when he had been injured. Was it because he had been so close to death more than once the last couple weeks or was there more to it than that? He shook the thought from his head. It was kind of her to go out of her way to stop by and check on him, and he should appreciate that. Steve would tell him that he was just being negative again.

The visit, however, had been tiring nonetheless. He headed straight for the bedroom; it was time for a nap.


	40. Chapter 40

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters

H50 H50 H50

Steve arrived earlier than usual so he could see Grace before she headed off to the concert with Kono. Charlie was with Rachel, and Grace was in her room getting dressed so Danny and Steve sat on the back lanai while she got ready.

When Steve had finished asking Danny how he was feeling and updating him on all that was going on in the office, Danny spoke up with a new topic. "Rachel stopped by yesterday."

"How's she doing?"

"Fine, I guess." Danny rose from the chair and began to pace.

Uh-oh, Steve thought. "Then what's the problem?"

"I've been in this house more than two years and this is the first time she's ever been here."

"So?" Steve still wasn't seeing the problem.

"So, what did she want?" Why was she here?"

"Maybe she wanted to see how you were doing for herself. We kept her updated through phone calls but that's not the same as seeing you."

"Then why didn't she stop by at the hospital?"

"I don't know Danny. Maybe she was busy."

"For two weeks? I was there for over two weeks and she never came to see me. Never even called."

"Is that what's bothering you? I thought you were over her."

"I am most definitely over her." He paused for a moment. "I'm telling you, Steve, it just doesn't feel right. The more I think about it, the more it bothers me. What did she want? She was all over the house, asking questions. Even asked about Eric."

"He was a little kid when you got married, right?"

"She adored him. He was our ring bearer," Danny admitted.

"Really? Why did I never know that?" That was a picture he'd like to see.

"Because the marriage is over and it doesn't matter anymore. Why are we talking about Eric? Rachel was here, Steven, and she was up to something. I'm sure of it."

"Relax Danny. You're just being paranoid, as usual."

"This is Rachel we're talking about. Of course I'm paranoid."

Steve was ready to respond when the door opened and Grace stepped out. Danny beamed with love and pride. Grace was wearing a pair of white Toms on her feet, a pair of snug fitting jeans, and a white capped-sleeve t-shirt. It was all topped with a sleeveless denim vest with buttons up the front. A slew of colorful bracelets adorned her wrists. It was just grown up enough without being too grown up. She looked perfect. "You look amazing, Monkey."

"You think?" She grinned.

"I hate to agree with your father if I don't have to, Gracie, but he's right. You do look amazing," Steve contributed.

"Thanks Uncle Steve."

"Now let's get inside. Kono will be here soon," Danny instructed.

"You sure you have your phone, Monkey?" Danny asked Grace for the third time a short time later as they sat next to each other on the sofa in his living room. Steve was on the love seat nearby.

"Yes Danno."

"And the money I gave you; you have that in a safe place?"

"Yes Danno."

"Make sure you treat Kono to a snack later," Danny advised.

"I know, I know," Grace replied, rolling her eyes. "And I can buy myself a t-shirt. I know."

"Sounds like you know everything," Steve grinned at them.

"She learned from the best," Danny retorted.

Grace grinned back at them before sobering. "I wish you could go with me, Danno."

"I'm sorry, Monkey."

"Don't be sorry, Danno. It's okay, really. I love Auntie Kono and she said she loves the band so she'll probably enjoy it more than you would anyway."

"Enjoy it more than me?" Danny asked drolly. "I enjoy every moment I have with you Grace. You are my life." He tugged her close with his working arm and kissed the top of her head.

Grace beamed. Her father always made her feel so incredibly special.

They heard a car pull up. "That must be her," Grace said as she hopped right out of her seat and headed to the door, Steve right behind her.

Danny couldn't move nearly as fast these days so he reached the porch around the same time as Kono.

Danny watched fondly as his daughter and friend happily greeted each other. They all chatted a few moments on the porch before Kono said they had to go.

"Stay close to Kono," Steve shouted after Grace as she ran to the car.

"She'll be fine guys," Kono assured them over her shoulder as she walked away.

"Love you Danno," Grace yelled as she waved from the open window.

"Love you more," Danny shouted as the car pulled away.

Steve grinned. "Grace looks really excited."

"Yeah, she is," Danny agreed. He sighed, watching as the car disappeared around the corner.

Steve looked at his friend. "Sorry you're missing it, pal."

Danny nodded. "At least I didn't have to send her with StepStan." They turned and moved into the house.

"He and Rachel still working things out okay?"

"As far as I know. I don't ask. She doesn't tell. He hasn't moved out and neither has Rachel so I guess they're good." He changed the subject back to their earlier discussion. "Steve, she asked about how I can handle Charlie. Asked about using my arm again. If I'll ever be able to drive." Danny shook his head.

"She's just concerned about you, Danny."

"When has she ever just been concerned about me, Steve? It's always about her. There's always an ulterior motive."

"So what do you think she's up to?" It was obvious to Steve that Danny suspected something in particular.

"I don't know. That's the problem."

"Danny, what are you worried about?"

Danny finally gave voice to his worries since Rachel stopped by. "What if she tries to take the kids?"

"Danny, you have joint custody of Grace. I don't think any judge will change that. They can't allow her to keep going back and trying to rearrange things."

"But what about Charlie?"

Steve sighed. Danny had done the right thing when he found out that Charlie was his biological son. He had made sure that Charlie knew the truth. He accepted and stepped into his role as father completely without a second thought. He donated his bone marrow and spent countless non-working hours at the hospital getting to know his son. It had cost him time with Melissa and with his Five-0 ohana, and he had never once complained about that. But the legal ramifications of it all had been pushed aside while they nursed Charlie back to health. "She's not going to try and take him away from you now, Danny," Steve said confidently. "The kid loves his Danno."

Danny smiled at that. He really loved Charlie as much as he loved Grace. "You really think it's going to be okay? She was just concerned?" Danny was working hard on this positive thinking that Steve kept harassing him about.

"Yes. You need to stop being so negative. She was just worried about you. You almost died, Danny."

"Thanks for the reminder," Danny replied sarcastically.

"Anytime," Steve said with a sad smile. Whatever it took to get Danny to stop worrying so much. "Come on, partner. We have PT to do."

"Stop calling me partner," Danny growled, cutting the air with his arm, which in turn brought a flash of pain. With a soft moan, he reached with his left hand to brace his right shoulder.

"You up to this?" Steve asked, concerned. "You okay?"

"Of course." Danny scoffed at the question, pushing back the pain as they moved into the house. "You hungry?"

"Smells good," Steve said as they entered. "You sure you have enough?"

Danny laughed. "There's more than enough." Tonight one of the guys from HPD had sent over a typical Hawaiian meal. There was enough for several hungry people. "Not exactly sure what it is but it smells delicious and there's no pineapple for once."

Steve peered into the dish, warming on the stove. "Looks like Chicken Hekka." Seeing Danny lean tiredly against the counter, he took the plates from Danny's hand. "Sit down. I got this."

Danny's phone buzzed and he quietly complied with Steve's request before checking it. He smiled broadly and showed the picture to Steve when he came over with two steaming plates of food. In the picture Grace was turned sideways in her seat in the car and she and Kono were smiling happily into the camera. "A red light selfie," Danny said.

The Chicken Hekka, as Steve called it, was excellent. The hint of ginger was sublime. Each time Danny's phone buzzed he would read the text to Steve or show him the picture as they followed Grace and Kono's car trip to the concert vicariously. When Danny's phone buzzed and he didn't share the text, Steve got curious. "Everything okay?"

"Yep, just fine."

"So suddenly you won't tell me what Gracie said?"

"It wasn't Grace," Danny said as he one handedly replied to the text before putting the phone down to pick up his fork.

Steve swooped in like a vulture and snatched up the phone.

"Hey," Danny shouted. "Does the word privacy mean anything to you?"

"We're brothers Danno. What's yours is mine," Steve answered with a smirk as he tapped on the screen.

"You're an animal," Danny growled. "Give me the phone back."

Steve read the text out loud. " _Hey Danny. Have you heard from Grace? Is she enjoying the concert? Sorry you couldn't go with her. I know how much you wanted to._ " He looked up at Danny. "So you and Dr. Shaw are pen pals now?"

Danny finally managed to grab the phone out of Steve's hand, but only because Steve let him. "Pen pals? Seriously Steven?" He reached gingerly across his body to put the phone on the table away from Steve and then took up his fork again and began to pick at his food, before dropping the fork down again.

"Hey, you need to eat, pal. You're losing weight," Steve said as he shoveled a forkful of chicken into his own mouth.

"Then maybe you should stop pissing me off and making me lose my appetite," Danny huffed in reply.

"Oh come on, you'd tell me eventually anyway, wouldn't you?" Steve smiled fondly at Danny. Both men knew that they shared everything with each other, sooner or later.

Danny sighed. "Eventually is the key word there."

"For what it's worth I think she's a great lady."

Danny smiled. "Yeah she is."

"I guess this is why she doesn't ask how you're doing anymore?" Steve said with a raised eyebrow and a fond smile of his own as he pointed to the phone.

Danny nodded. "She's been so supportive. A really good friend." He picked up his fork and began eating again.

"That's great. It's about time you found a strong, caring, loyal woman."

"She's just a friend, Steve."

"Yeah, I know pal," Steve said, but there was a part of him that wondered if maybe there couldn't be more for Danny with Dr. Shaw. He knew that Danny had been content with Melissa, but he wasn't sure if Danny ever loved her. He knew for a fact that, right now, his friend wouldn't turn his back on her. Steve admired Danny's big heart and fierce loyalty. They were two of the qualities that made Danny such an incredible friend, not just to Steve but also to Chin and many others as well. But contrarian to that, one of Danny's biggest weaknesses was his propensity to allow that big heart and fierce loyalty to be used and taken advantage of. Rachel was a pro at that, or at least she had been. Danny had finally stopped blindly saying yes to Rachel, stopped allowing her to take advantage of his big sensitive heart.

Steve understood that Melissa had a problem, an illness actually, in her PTSD. But he didn't think that gave her the right to continue to take all the goodness that Danny had to offer and not give anything in return. Danny was severely injured, maybe permanently, yet Melissa was making no effort to lend him any support. Forget doing PT for him or changing his dressings, forget even making a meal for him, she could at least get in her car and drive over here and see for herself how he was doing. The fact that she had not done so, spoke volumes to Steve. Yes, as far as Steve was concerned, Danny had to get past this unrequited loyalty to Melissa, just as he had, finally, done with Rachel. But Steve wouldn't say that to Danny – not now anyway.

"Let's finish eating and start that PT," Danny said as his phone buzzed with another picture from Grace.


	41. Chapter 41

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. It is truly humbling. I try to make sure that I respond to each review before I post again but if I've missed yours or if you reviewed as a guest, please accept my sincere thanks. You have all been so supportive of this extended adventure I ended up writing.

H50 H50 H50

After eating and cleaning up, Danny and Steve moved to Danny's room where they proceeded with the physical therapy. Although the process was always painful, grueling and exhausting, so far Danny found this session a bit easier than the others because pictures and videos being sent by Grace and Kono of their concert outing regularly interrupted it. They both looked incredibly happy and, not for the first time, Danny reflected on how lucky he was. Even more uplifting was this text from Grace: _"This is sooooo much fun. Amazing. Auntie Kono knows all the songs. Thank you so much Danno. You're the best dad in the whole world. How are you feeling?"_

With his smile reflecting that of his best friend, Steve typed Danny's dictated reply: _"I feel fine. I'm glad you and Kono are having fun. Love you Monkey."_

Before he could even put the phone down, one more text finished the thread and Steve beamed as he showed it to Danny: _"Love you more!"_

After a particularly difficult portion of the stretching and massaging routine near the end of the therapy session, Danny felt himself grinding his teeth and near tears in pain. As the therapist instructed them to do when the pain got too bad, Steve allowed Danny a short break to recover. A text came in to his phone and Danny was in too much pain to even reach for the device so Steve picked it up for him.

"What are they doing now?" Danny asked, eyes closed against the pain, assuming it was another picture.

"It's not from them," Steve answered. He was hoping Danny didn't push it. He didn't need the stress the text would bring.

Danny, however, was not one to let a subject drop. "Who's it from? What's it say?" Danny's voice was tired and pained and he still didn't even open his eyes when he spoke.

"Melissa," Steve answered simply.

Danny's eyes shot open. "She okay?"

"Well, yeah, I guess so." Steve hedged.

"Well, which is it?" Danny extended his hand out. "Gimme the phone." Steve reluctantly complied and Danny read the text. _"Why didn't you ask me to take Grace to the concert?"_

Danny sighed and tossed the phone to the other side of the bed with a groan. Man, his back hurt and now this. "How do I even answer that? Grace must have sent her a picture."

"Why would she do that?" Nudging Danny's leg over, he sat down next to him on the bed where they were doing the PT, giving him time to recover a bit.

"Because Grace really likes her. I haven't old her about all this PTSD stuff."

Steve nodded. Okay, dumb question. He knew that. "Why didn't you ask Melissa to take her?"

"She hasn't even agreed to see me since the day I left the hospital. I didn't even think it was right to ask her." Danny shook his head. Why was his life such a complicated mess?

"You planning to answer her?"

"Yes. No. Damn it, I don't even know what to say."

"How about the truth?"

"You mean 'Because you're so screwed up right now the thought of leaving my daughter with you scares the hell out of me?'"

"How about 'Because Kono volunteered'?" Steve grinned.

Danny grinned back. It was perfect, but he wouldn't tell Steve that. "You are so emotionally stunted it's not even funny. Give me the phone, huh?"

Steve leaned across Danny and grabbed the phone. "I'll do it. I've got two hands. But I think I like what you said better." He smirked evilly.

"Don't you dare. Give me the phone." Danny reached but Steve moved it out of his range and kept typing. It hurt too much to even try again for it. "Give me my phone Steven."

"Almost done."

"If I could move I'd beat you to within an inch of your life!"

"Like to see you try." Steve typed a few more letters. "There. Sent." He handed the phone back to Danny with a satisfied smile on his face.

Danny looked at the screen. The message 'Because Kono volunteered' was typed into the box ready to send. "You are such an animal," Danny groused at the teasing before hitting the send button.

"You ready to finish, partner?" Steve asked, referring to the PT.

No, Danny thought, his back throbbing with the pain. "Stop calling me partner and let's finish this," he said instead. He wasn't going to quit until he had full use of his arm back.

A few hours later, Danny was sitting on the sofa in the dark suffering through a nerve pain attack. Steve sat next to him quietly. They had been watching a replay of the NJ Devils hockey game that Danny wanted to watch when the pain began. When he realized what was going on, Steve turned off the tv and turned off the lights. When he heard Kono's car pull up, Steve rose quietly so as not to disturb Danny and went outside onto the porch, closing the door behind him.

Grace and Kono were happy as they walked up the path to the door and were surprised when they saw Steve come out. With his truck in the driveway and the lights out they figured he had decided to sack out on the sofa. "Hi Uncle Steve. Is Danno sleeping?" Grace was all bubbly and excited. She had a wonderful time with Kono at the concert and wanted to tell her dad all about it. He'd listen patiently to every detail like he always did.

Steve glanced at Kono, hoping she'd understand his unspoken message. Danny would catch it in a heartbeat but somehow it was easy for the partners to have wordless conversations. "Tired but not sleeping," Steve said. As Grace headed for the door he added, "Danno will be out soon, Gracie." He glanced at Kono again, and she finally caught on to the fact that he didn't want Grace going in just yet.

"Let Uncle Steve see that t-shirt you bought," Kono suggested.

Dutifully distracted, Grace unfolded the shirt. "Auntie Kono helped me pick it out. She says it suits me."

Kono and Steve then ooh'd and aah'd over the nice new t-shirt Grace had bought with the money Danny gave her. It had a picture of the band members on the front and the tour details on the back. "I'm going to wear it tomorrow. Lucy will be so jealous." She looked at the wrinkled shirt again. "Danno definitely needs to iron it, though." Her confidence that her father would do that for her, even tired and with only one working hand, was innocently absolute.

Then they sat down on the chairs on the porch and began to look through all the pictures and videos they had taken. As time passed and Danny still hadn't emerged, Kono caught Steve's eye as she said," Hey, I really need to use the little girls room. Grace, why don't you keep showing Uncle Steve the pictures? I'll be right back."

Kono stepped inside as quietly as possible. Danny was on the sofa, leaning forward with his left arm on his left knee. He looked up slightly as Kono stepped around the edge of the sofa. She froze in her tracks. She didn't want to disturb him; just make sure he was okay.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," she whispered back, still not moving. If he was up to speaking more, she'd let him initiate it.

"Grace outside?" His voice was husky from the pain and stress.

"Yeah," Kono said, venturing closer now that it seemed he was over the worst of it. "She's showing Steve the pictures and videos."

"I'm sure he's fascinated," Danny chuckled lightly before coughing. His throat was rough from the labored breathing that the attack induced.

"He'll live. I'll go get you some water. How you doing?"

Danny smirked. "I'll live."

"Very original." Kono disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water and a wet washcloth. She placed the washcloth across the back of Danny's neck and handed him the glass. He sighed softly as the cloth touched his neck and then took a deep drink of water.

"They slowing down or easing up at all?" Kono asked, referring to the nerve pain attacks.

Danny shook his head. "No."

Kono frowned as she sat down next to him. "What's the doctor say?"

"He says wait and see. Big help that is. Get's paid the big bucks to tell me nothing."

Kono nodded. She understood his frustration.

Danny took the cloth from his neck now and wiped his face before letting out another sigh. "Thanks Kono."

"Anytime, brah."

As Kono had disappeared inside, Grace showed Steve a few more pictures and then spoke in a quiet voice. "I know what you're doing, Uncle Steve." Steve looked at her questioningly and she continued. "Danno's having one of those horrible pain things he gets and you don't want me to see."

Steve was surprised. How did she know? Then again, she was Danny's daughter. Like him, she was a keen observer of people. "Grace…"

"It's okay, Uncle Steve. I don't like watching it and Danno likes to be left alone anyway."

"It's easier for him when there are no distractions. His nerves get a bit frayed," Steve said in his friend's defense but it wasn't necessary.

"I know. I wish they'd stop happening." Her voice quivered as she spoke.

Steve wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. "That's my wish, too Gracie."

"Uncle Steve?" Grace ventured in a hesitant voice.

"What is it Gracie?" Steve still had his arm around her shoulders and he felt her tremble beside him.

"Do you…" She stopped and took a deep steadying breath. "Do you think his arm will ever work again? He always says yes, that he'll be fine soon, but what do you think? Honestly."

"Honestly Grace," and he would only be honest with her, "I don't know. But I want you to know something." He shifted now so he could look her in the eyes. "No matter what happens, I will be here for you and your father. You know that, right?"

Grace nodded her head yes while choking back tears and leaning in to Steve for another hug. A tear slipped from her eye and she spoke in a whispered sob. "It's all so unfair."

"Yes, it is. I've told you before. Your father is the best man I know. I wish I could tell you why this was happening to him. I wish I could tell you that it will all go away very soon." He held her for a few moments before speaking again. "But you know Danno wanted this to be a special night for you, right? I know you're sad for him but he really wanted you to have a wonderful time."

"Oh, I did, very much," Grace assured him with a sniff.

"Well, then, let's get our smiles back on so he feels good when he comes out. What do you think?"

"I think you're right." She hugged him again. "I love you Uncle Steve."

He had heard his partner and his kids say it so many times now that he didn't even realize how he responded until Grace gave a soft giggle in reply. "Love you more Gracie."


	42. Chapter 42

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N It looks like I didn't make something clear enough in the previous chapters. Although Danny has not seen Melissa in person since she walked out of the hospital, they have had contact. I had written a scene where that was more clearly spelled out but then I dropped that whole chapter because I didn't like how it was working out. I forgot that it contained that important piece of information because it was only a small part of the whole chapter. That's where a beta would come in handy but I rarely use one. So, I've slipped that scene in here. I'm particularly fond of this chapter and I truly hope that sticking that piece in doesn't ruin the flow too much. As always, all mistakes are mine.

H50 H50 H50

Chin was sitting in his office doing some boring paperwork. He had tried calling Danny to check on him, and to get a dose of his unique personality to help him through this slow day, but it had gone straight to voicemail. With his eyes drifting shut he decided he needed to grab a cup of coffee or he'd fall asleep right on his desk and that would be embarrassing. He had just stepped out of the door when he heard his cell ring. Going back in to grab it, he saw who was calling and tapped the screen before settling back in his chair. This was an even better pick-me-up than coffee. "Danny! Howzit brah?"

" _Bored as hell, babe. You?"_

Chin smiled. "Same."

" _What? That Neanderthal partner of mine hasn't gotten you shot at or blown up or anything?"_

"Not today." Chin laughed.

" _Why is he on his best behavior when I'm not around? I swear that animal has made it his personal mission to get me killed."_

Chin laughed again. He did a lot of that when he spoke with Danny. "So, how ya feeling?"

" _If I could get my back to stop hurting and get the feeling and movement back in my arm, I'd be perfect."_

In that backhanded way, Danny had actually answered his question. "Takes time, Danny."

" _Ya know, babe, I'm so sick of hearing that. In fact, I'll probably strangle the next person who says it. Well, that might not work one handed so I'll find another way, but I swear those two words are near to making me homicidal."_

"I'll make note of that," Chin said, chuckling again.

" _Hey Chin, speaking of homicidal, you think you could come and do the PT tonight? I know it's a lot to ask but…"_

Chin cut him off. "No Danny, it's not a lot to ask. That's why I learned how to do it for you, so don't even go there. But tell me this, what does PT have to do with being homicidal? I know it hurts but…?"

" _No, I can take the pain. I just think Steve needs an evening off."_

Once more Chin laughed. "I think you mean you need an evening off from him."

" _You're a smart one babe. I swear he worries more than my mother. And before you say anything, I know it's because he cares and I love the man but he's driving me crazy. You know he calls to remind me to take my medicine? Every time."_

"Really?"

" _Yeah, seriously. And the pain meds and the antibiotics and the probiotics and the muscle relaxers and the disgusting neuropathy crap they make me drink are all on different schedules so every couple hours my phone rings. I know he means well, but it's so damned annoying. I've known how to tell time since I was five."_

Chin grinned as he agreed. "Yeah, sounds annoying. So, how are you going to make sure he doesn't come tonight?"

" _I'll tell him I have a date."_

Chin hesitated as he pondered that. He recalled a conversation he had with Danny a few days before.

"Abby seems like a good one, Chin," Danny had said.

"I think so," Chin had replied with a blush to his cheeks. "You hear from Melissa?"

"Yeah, some phone calls, a ton of texts. She's struggling man. But it's hard to help her over the phone."

"You mean you still haven't seen her?"

"Not since the hospital. She says she can't handle it right now." Danny had sighed and rubbed his temples. Signs that his headache was ramping up.

Chin had shook his head. Danny had told him that he was sure Melissa had PTSD and it sounded like an accurate assessment to Chin. Chin hoped she would get professional help but she was in denial. Danny had too much of his own to worry about; he didn't need to have to be Melissa's therapist by text. But Danny didn't have it in him to walk away from her when she was struggling. Danny always was loyal to a fault. Chin couldn't fathom why this was happening now, couldn't fathom what Danny was going through. He hadn't known what to say. As was his style, Danny had filled in the silence. "Hope your luck's better than mine," Danny had said with a sigh.

Recalling that recent conversation, Chin knew things were still estranged with Melissa so who would Danny be having this fake date with? The thought of Mindy popped into his head. Where had that come from? It didn't really matter. "He'll still plan on coming to do the PT, you know. He won't let you miss, brah."

" _Yeah, true. Guess I have to tell him I have a date with you, then, babe."_

"Oh, so now I'm your date?" Chin chuckled. Danny always managed to make him smile.

" _Don't worry. Despite what our marriage counselor says, our relationship can handle a little side show."_

"Glad to hear it."

" _Oh hey, gotta tell you this. The Dean at the University called me. Asked me how I was doing…"_

"And you told him you were fine," Chin interrupted.

" _Of course," Danny answered with a laugh. "He told me he was sorry about what happened and all that BS. Then he asked me if I had enjoyed it. So, I told him the teaching part yes, the stabbing part not so much."_

On his side of the line Chin shook his head and let out a real belly laugh.

" _And then, get this, he asked me if I wanted to teach again."_

"Really? That's great." Chin was really proud of Danny. He knew he hadn't been thrilled about this undercover assignment and had been really unsure of himself in terms of teaching but he had worked very, very hard at it. This offer confirmed what an excellent job he had done.

" _Yeah, he said they had a lot of people asking when I'd be back so, if I was up to it, they'd like me to teach next semester."_

"I'm proud of you, brah. That's really great. You say yes?"

" _Is the Pope Catholic? I have no clue how I'm going to write on that white board left handed but I'll figure that out later. I'm going stir crazy sitting around here doing nothing."_

"And that will just get worse as you start feeling better."

" _Exactly."_

"So now they'll have to start a new fan club for Detective Danny Williams, huh?" Chin laughed.

" _You think that's funny? That is so not funny Chin."_

"Hey, if that many women sent me flowers, balloons and gifts I'd be shouting it from the rooftops."

" _They're closer in age to Grace than they are to me, babe."_

"True that. What did Steve say?"

" _Haven't told him yet."_

"Think he'll give you permission?" Chin joked.

" _Ah, good question. I'll have to prepare a good case to present to him."_

"Well, you're good at that."

" _Yeah, that's what got me into this mess in the first place," Danny laughed incongruously. "Man, if the nuns at St. Mary's could see me now."_

"Professor Danny Williams; I'm sure they'd be proud of you."

" _After they fall off their kneelers in shock. Hey, I have another call coming in. It's mother hen with my med reminder but if I don't answer he's gunna go all Rambo on me so I gotta go. See you tonight. Love ya, babe."_

Chin looked at the phone and laughed again - so much better than coffee.


	43. Chapter 43

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Kudos to Long Live Brucas who noticed Danny refer to Steve as partner - nice job. That thread will all make sense eventually. Hope you like what I do with it.

A/N Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. I originally had no intention of writing Steve's reaction to the offer Danny received. However, a few reviewers were eager for that so I figured I'd write a short piece at the beginning of the next chapter. The ideas kept coming and it turned into it's own chapter, but it still gave me quite a hard time to make it flow right. Still not sure I nailed it the way I'd like, but I had to get it out. Steve's reaction is very different from Chin's but that doesn't surprise you, does it?

Reminder: On the show, we found out in the Charade episode that Danny had a Bachelor's degree from Seton Hall University (my alma mater, btw) with a minor in Business. In this story, (which I began before that ep aired) that wasn't the case. Here, he has an Associate's degree from Essex County College that he earned while working full time and was then accepted into the police academy.

H50 H50 H50

"It's one class," Danny stressed to Steve yet again, as he sat in the passenger seat of the Silverado. When Steve had arrived to pick him up this morning Steve had interrogated Danny fully in order to make absolutely sure that Chin had done everything correctly the night before when he came to do Danny's PT. When that assessment was completed to Steve's satisfaction, Danny had told him about the phone call and offer from the Dean at the University. Despite jokingly telling Chin that he would prepare a case to present to Steve he had done nothing of the sort. He didn't think it would be a big deal. Apparently, Steve had other ideas because they had been arguing over it ever since. "Just one class, Steven."

"One class or ten; it doesn't matter. You're a cop," Steve protested for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Ergo, I'm teaching Police Procedure."

"So now you're Doctor Danny Williams?" Steve asked sarcastically.

"Professor, Steven. Adjunct college professor," Danny emphasized, yet again, "Teaching one class for one semester." That's all that had been discussed. What might come later would depend on many factors, one of which was the use of Danny's arm. "Why do I have to defend myself to you anyway? I don't need your permission."

"You're a cop," Steve reiterated as way of explanation. Then for good measure he threw in more. "A damn fine cop."

Danny pointed at his right arm. "Do I look like a cop to you?"

"I thought you were positive that you were going to use your arm again? You're not giving up, are you?"

"No, I'm not giving up." Danny growled. They had already been over this. Steve was like a rabid dog who wouldn't let go and Danny's blood pressure was rising again, his head pounding at a staccato beat. "I do believe that I'll use this arm again. I have to believe that. But in the meantime I'm bored as hell and this will give me a reason to get up in the morning."

"I thought that was me," Steve said with a grin.

Danny shook his head, hiding his smirk. "You're a Neanderthal, you know that? My kids are my reason for living. You, my friend, are my reason for ducking."

Steve smiled. He missed these car rides and Danny's rants. Sure, he spent copious hours with Danny these days, but they were hours spent changing the dressings in his still open wound, putting him through the grueling physical therapy and listening to him try like hell to be positive. As much as he enjoyed annoying the hell out of Danny, he did not enjoy making him hurt like hell. "Those college kids really asked for you back?" Steve asked, half snarky, half proud.

"That's what the Dean said."

"They gunna start a new fan club?"

"Chin tell you to say that? It wasn't funny when he said it either."

"Well, that was quite a collection of gifts you had in that hospital room," Steve reminded him.

"You jealous?" Danny taunted.

"I'm not jealous," Steve replied defensively. Well, maybe just a little bit but he'd never admit it.

Picking up on something in Steve's demeanor, Danny suddenly shifted a bit in his seat, turning to look more at Steve. He would have moved much more if he had been able. "You are! You're jealous."

"Jealous of you?" Steve laughed. "Of course not. You're just not cut out to be a college professor." Instead of defending himself, Steve went on the attack. The best defense was a good offense.

"It was your idea originally," Danny pointed out, not really taking the bait.

"Undercover, yeah, okay. It's just pretend. But you don't even have a Bachelor's degree."

Ouch. Full on frontal attack. Now that hurt. "You saying I'm too stupid to teach?" Danny asked defensively. His lack of a full degree was a very personal, and very private, sore spot for him and Steve knew that. It had never been financially feasible for him to get a Bachelor's degree. It had nothing to do with ability.

"That's not what I said."

"But that's what you meant. No, I don't have a fancy degree from a freaking Army academy, a nice free degree paid for by yours truly and every other hardworking shmuck out there I might add, but I'm not a freaking moron."

"It's Navy Danny and I know you're not," Steve replied, realizing he had stepped out of bounds. "I've seen that mind work. And that mind is the reason we're going to the Palace now or did you forget you offered to help us nail Waincroft using that brain of yours?"

"No, I didn't forget. I do have a brain."

"Then what's the problem?"

"What's the problem? I'm not the one with the problem. I'm the one with an offer for a job that's not 5-0. It's you who has a problem with that. That's why you're jealous or angry or whatever the hell you want to call it."

"I'm not jealous or angry."

"You most certainly are, my friend. You have a face."

"I don't have a face," Steve protested weakly, again thinking how much he missed spending this kind of time with Danny.

"You so do have a face." Danny laughed and they were both quiet for a while before Danny spoke again. His voice was soft, tentative. "You're good at everything, babe, so you probably can't understand this, but I always felt that being a cop was the only thing I was good at." It felt so damn good to be told he was good at something else.

Steve recalled what Danny had confessed to him the first day they met – that one of the main reasons he was a cop was because he was good at it. By that time, Steve had already discovered just how true that was. But in time, he had also discovered that Danny was good at so much more than that. He just wasn't sure enough of himself to believe it. Now here was credible proof of it and Steve was tearing it down. Why was he doing that? If he was honest with himself, Danny was right, he was a bit jealous, but he also couldn't stand the thought of not having Danny by his side all the time. If Danny took this 'one class for one semester' job it would be a constant reminder that Danny might never be in the field with him again. Damn that freaking knife-wielding maniac.

"You're a good dad," Steve told him, trying to ease the damage he had done.

Danny scoffed. "Tell that to Rachel."

"Rachel knows that Danny. Don't start with that again."

"Okay, okay," Danny grunted. Steve had made it perfectly clear that he felt that there was no way Rachel would try and keep Charlie from him. Steve would shut him down whenever he spoke of it, telling him he was worrying about nothing.

"You sure you're up to it?" Steve asked, returning to the subject of teaching and finally giving in a little.

"Now? No. But the semester doesn't start until January. By then, this wound will be all healed up and I'll be using this arm again. By the end of the semester I'll be ready to go back to 5-0." Danny said with more confidence than he really felt.

From your mouth to God's ears, Steve thought. "Sounds like you have it all thought out," he said instead.

"Of course I do," Danny said with a cocky smile.

"What about the nerve attacks?" They always spoke openly to each other and this was no exception.

Danny's smile disappeared in an instant, his whole body appearing to deflate. "Bite me." What else could he say? His life was a mess and no amount of positive thinking was going to change that – job offer or not. He shifted painfully in his seat to look out the window, shutting down the conversation.

Steve felt bad for busting Danny's bubble but it was an issue that needed to be addressed. Seeing Danny's defeated posture, he tried to do something to make it right again. "If it means anything to you, I'm really happy for you. Those kids will be taught by the best."

"It means everything to me," Danny replied softly, still staring out the window as the world passed him by.

If Steve heard, he didn't say. He just cleared his throat and kept driving.


	44. Chapter 44

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N So, so sorry it's been so long between posts.

A/N To the guest reviewer "Reidka" who asked for some more serious Danny whump, you must have read my mind. I have a seriously evil plot running through my head (for down the road a bit, many chapters from now) but so many readers are asking for Danny to get better that I'm not sure what to do. I like to make the readers happy. Maybe nobody else wants more whump. Anybody want to weight in?

H50 H50 H50

As if confirming Steve's concern about the nerve attacks affecting Danny's ability to teach, Danny felt the first tingling as they entered the Palace. This being his first time there since the brutal attack he was greeted by many well-wishers and a few gawkers who circled him as if he were a celebrity. He greeted each person in typical Jersey style - trading barbs with the guys while charming the ladies.

As he did so, he tried to block out the tingling, burning shocks that seemed to scorch the skin on his back like a sizzling sunburn. He strained to remain focused through the haze of the dizziness and the headache. Through a small stroke of luck, the nausea wasn't too bad this time and he made it through the whole meet and greet without gagging even once. The stiffness in his posture, the strain in his voice and the sweat beginning to soak his shirt were the only outward signs of the battle he was waging and if any of the people there noticed them, it wasn't mentioned.

Steve however, by now well versed in dealing with these attacks, did notice and gave great effort to moving Danny along without offending anybody but also without mentioning the problem. "Sorry," he would say, "hate to break this up, but I need him for an important meeting."

When they finally made it through the 5-0 doors, Danny headed straight to his office, collapsing immediately into his chair. Steve followed behind him, shut the door and left him alone. This certainly wasn't the "welcome back" that they had wanted.

A while later when the nerve pain had eased and Danny had pulled himself together, the whole team, plus Abby were standing at the smart table looking at the big screen. There had been several more crimes committed in the past month that they felt were likely linked to Gabriel Waincroft but they had no solid evidence. The team was busy with cases and Danny had volunteered to hunker down and read through all the documents they had, sort through all the reports, contact several banks and obtain access to various and voluminous financial records and sift through them. Sitting still had never sat well with him so he needed something to occupy his mind so he didn't go completely crazy. Feeling productive would also help him keep the positive thoughts he had been working so hard to maintain.

He still lacked a great deal of energy but he would do what he could, when he could to organize and make sense of the information they had. Somewhere in there was a key to putting Waincroft and his gang away for a very long time. They were all determined to find it.

Chin presented the team with a list of known associates and detailed what they knew about each of them. It wasn't much but it was a start. It would take some real detective work to dig deeper and begin making connections to the illegal trade they knew lingered behind these people.

Next, Lou spoke about what they had found out about property and businesses that Gabriel owned or they suspected he had connections to. Again, they knew they were only scratching the surface. They were sure there were more but they had to find the connections. Like Chin, he explained some of the theories, but without proof nothing would hold up in court.

Finally, Kono was speaking about bank records when Danny's phone buzzed in his pocket. Pulling it out, he glanced at the screen and, excusing himself, stepped away from the table and answered it. "Williams."

Almost as one, the team sensed Danny's tension and stopped talking, silently observing their injured teammate and listening in on his side of the obviously unpleasant conversation.

"She can't do that," Danny shouted angrily into the phone after listening for a while. "Can she do that?" He had stopped in the middle of the floor, too overwhelmed by what he was hearing to keep moving. He listened a bit longer and his reply this time came out as a plaintive plea. "How can she do that?"

Seeing Danny stall in the middle of the floor, Steve moved instinctively to his partner's side. Placing his hand on Danny's back, he silently guided him into his office where he would have some quiet and privacy.

Focused so completely on what he was being told over the phone Danny didn't even register that Steve was there, pushing him into this office. He didn't even register that Steve guided him around his desk and turned the chair for him. Without thought Danny bent his knees and, for the second time that morning, collapsed into the desk chair. His legs bouncing in rhythm with his heart, he perched on the edge of the seat and continued to listen.

His own heart slamming in his chest, Steve closed the door behind Danny and turned back to the team. "Damn!" His hands curled into fists, his stomach was in knots just assuming what the call was about.

"Do you really think…?" Kono started.

"Absolutely," Lou answered before she even got the question out. "The woman is hell-bent on making our boy's life as miserable as possible."

"True, but this? This is beyond imagination. I really didn't think she'd do it," Chin said.

Steve let out a harsh breath and ran his hand over his face in his nervous gesture. He glanced at his partner through the glass. Danny looked as if his world was ending. "She went to visit him at his house the other day." He turned back to the team and continued speaking. "He was really worried and I told him he was being paranoid," Steve confessed. "I told him again in the truck this morning, too."

"Don't dwell on that, brah. I would have told him the same thing," Chin assured him, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Me too, partner," Lou said.

Lou's use of the word partner struck Steve at that moment. Had he said it before? Steve wasn't sure. What he was sure of was that his partner wasn't standing in front of him; his partner was sitting in his office enduring the emotional equivalent of getting the crap beat out of him.

"It might not be about her at all," Abby said, playing the voice of reason.

The teammates allowed their gaze to flow from one trusted teammate to the next. Their eyes telling a story that their voices didn't dare. "Yeah. Maybe not," Chin agreed, "But whatever it is, it's big."

"Maybe another one of his mother's ideas?" Lou suggested.

"She does come up with some unique ones," Kono agreed. "Or maybe one of his sisters? Does Stella have another son?" Kono asked, referring to Danny's nephew Eric who was originally sent to Hawaii by Stella, for Danny to help turn him around. It worked masterfully, but not without headaches and sacrifices for Danny to endure.

Steve smirked a little at that and then thought of one of his own. "Or maybe Gracie decked another boy." That drew slight chuckles from the rest of them.

"Well, whatever it is, Jersey ain't happy," Lou tossed in. That much was obvious to all of them.

They each kept sneaking peaks into Danny's office. The Detective definitely didn't seem to notice but Kono spoke up anyway. "I've got work to do. I'll be at my desk." It was the subtle approach but it worked as they each headed off to other parts of the large office space.

As the rest of the team moved to their desks, Chin and Steve stood in Steve's office. Neither one could sit down and focus on work. This was their best friend, apparently enduring another hard blow. "How much more can he take?" Steve asked with a frown.

Chin sighed. "He's tough but…" He took a deep breath and forced it out quickly. "I don't know."

"For years, ever since I met him, he's been the most negative person I know. But now? Now he's fighting like hell to be positive and yet nothing's changing. Nothing's improving," Steve said.

"He tell you about that job at the University?" Chin asked. That was a good thing.

"Yeah, but if those nerve attacks continue, how's he going to teach?"

"Damn." Chin hadn't thought about that.

"I wish I knew how to help him, Chin. Nothing seems right. Nothing seems enough," Steve sighed. "This is the first time he's been here since that whack job stabbed him. He's been here over an hour and between that nerve attack and this phone call he's spent almost that entire time in his office, suffering." He let out a growl, sounding an awful lot like Danny as he did so.

"We might have it all wrong," Chin reminded him.

"I know, but look at him." Steve nodded his head in Danny's direction through the glass. "Whatever it is, it's devastating." That much was obvious just looking at him.

"Whatever it is, we'll get him through it," Chin assured Steve, because right now Steve looked like he needed that assurance. He reached out and patted Steve's shoulder before turning and heading to his own office.

When the call finally ended, Danny hung up the phone stunned. He couldn't say he didn't see it coming but the reality of it stung nonetheless. He looked out through the glass wall of his office, barely aware of how he even got there. He sat there for several long minutes, trying to rein in his whirling emotions. What the hell was he going to do now?


	45. Chapter 45

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N To the anonymous reviewer who posted about Rachel and Melissa, thank you for taking the time to review and offer your opinion. Trust me, I will continue to aim to keep this fiction at least as realistic as the show itself. I feel that allows me great leeway, which makes it fun to work with.

A/N I always reply to reviews before I post the next chapter but since so many of you asked so nicely for the next chapter I am making an exception and posting it now. To all of you who review, follow and favorite, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I truly appreciate each and every one of your kind words. I'm glad you are enjoying this hobby of mine. Keep in mind, I'm not a lawyer (or a doctor); I'm just having some whump writing fun.

H50 H50 H50

Once he finished speaking with Chin, Steve's eyes barely left Danny so he watched Danny put the phone down and then squeeze his temples with a trembling hand. Next, Danny pulled a calculator out from a drawer in his desk causing Steve to scrunch his forehead in confusion. He now watched as Danny used the desktop computer to search for something, picked up a pen and jotted something down left handed, and then putting the pen down, plugged some numbers into the calculator before picking the pen up again and writing again repeatedly. It was obviously an awkward, cumbersome, frustrating process doing all of this left-handed.

Steve then watched as Danny tossed the pen angrily onto the desk, fisted his left hand and pressed it to his lips before closing his eyes. He could see Danny's whole body shaking with tension. He then watched as Danny opened his eyes and rapped his still fisted left hand repeatedly on his desk. Finally, he watched Danny pull himself together like the consummate professional that he was. Steve was out of his chair and headed for the common area as soon as Danny began shoving his chair away from the desk.

The two friends met just outside their adjacent doors. One look in Steve's eyes and Danny's resolve almost broke so he turned his head away and then once again found it within himself to keep it together. "I only want to say it once," Danny managed to say.

"You don't have to say anything," Steve told him.

"Yeah, I do. Ohana, right?" Danny knew he would never get through this without his friends. Nodding, Steve quickly beckoned the rest of the team to re-join them.

When all were again assembled, Danny leaned wearily against the smart table, phone clutched in his hand, resolutely foregoing the chair that Chin had waiting for him, despite the fatigue and pain. "That was my lawyer," Danny started, his voice a strained rasp. "Rachel…" He stopped, dipping his head. Man, this was hard. His head was still reeling from the shock of it and he could already feel the sympathy rolling off of his ohana. He appreciated their sympathy but he didn't want it.

More accurately, he didn't want to have to be receiving it. For once he wanted something to just go right for a freaking change. No, actually, he could take all the crap life threw at him. He could take the deaths, the betrayals, the moves, the injuries. He could handle losing his marriage, his home, his job, his friends. He could even handle losing the use of his freaking arm. What he couldn't handle, what would push him right over the edge into a pit of utter despair, would be the loss of his children. Six months ago, that was just Grace, now it was Charlie as well. He let out a strangled sob before reining himself in yet again.

Steve put a supportive, brotherly hand on his shoulder, but kept his head turned away. He couldn't look at Danny right now. Not like this. He could barely hold himself together. How Danny was managing, he had no idea.

"You don't have to do this, brah," Kono told him, her own voice choked as she observed Danny's distraught appearance.

Danny nodded in acknowledgment but pushed on anyway, his voice a tense, emotional rasp. "Rachel filed for full custody of Charlie. Visitation rights to be negotiated." He swallowed hard. "She cited 'best interests of the child'. I won't get into details now." Placing the phone that was still in his hand down onto the smart table in front of him, he grasped onto the table with a shaky, one-handed, white knuckled grip.

"Damn that woman," Lou spat out. He was eternally grateful for his own dear wife.

Steve moved his hand from Danny's shoulder to briefly grip the back of Danny's neck as a further show of support. He could tell that there was more. "What else?" he asked somberly. His voice was choked and he cleared his throat. "What else D?"

"More?" Kono whispered in shock.

Danny released his grip on the table and, using his thumb, fidgeted with the ring finger on his left hand, as was his nervous habit, and took a deep steadying breath. "Stan sued for back child support, including Charlie's medical bills." Now Danny cleared his throat. "If I give them every paycheck for the next year I still won't be close to paying it all. That preschool alone must cost a small fortune." Stan's standard of living was much higher than Danny's. "Throw in my lawyer bills, hospital bills, doctor bills, PT, medicine, supplies for the neuropathy and the freaking hole in my back…" He counted the list off using his left hand but ran out of fingers. List done, he paused for a moment again, his whole body coiled tight as a spring. "I'm gunna lose the house and the Camaro."

"We won't let that happen," Steve responded vehemently before others could respond.

"You won't let that happen?" Danny retorted sharply, arm flying, body bobbing and weaving for emphasis as he continued. "SuperSEAL gunna come in and save the day? And how are you going to do that, huh? Huh? Hang some banker off the side of a building? Throw him in a shark cage? Maybe do the ninja thing and rob a bank?"

"I just think you're getting ahead of yourself, Danny," Steve said in as calm a voice as he could muster. This news had shaken him more than he wanted to let on.

"Oh, that's rich. That's really rich," Danny replied sarcastically, body still moving. "This from the man who's been telling me every five minutes that Rachel wouldn't try and take Charlie from me. 'She knows you're a good dad,' you said. 'You're just being paranoid, as usual,' you said. What the hell do you know, Steven, huh?"

"You won't have to pay it all." Abby interrupted the argument, causing five surprised heads to turn her way. "At most you'd have to match what you pay for your daughter, nothing more." She paused a moment and then added, "I'm 99% sure on that."

Danny let out a harsh scoffing exhale. "99%, huh? You see the problem with 99% is that somebody always gets that 1%. When it's bad freaking luck, that 1% is all mine." He turned to Steve now. "Hey, I've really been trying that positive thinking thing babe, but it's not working out as advertised."

Steve ignored the complaint because really, what could he say to that? It was completely true. He tried to regain a neutral, information gathering focus. None of them wanted to lose control right now and they were coming very close. "What did your lawyer say?"

Again Danny took a deep breath, trying to control his pounding heart. He rubbed his temples. Man, his head was pounding even worse than usual. He let out a sharp exhale before answering. "He couldn't talk long. Had an appointment to get to, but he was surprised they even filed."

"Aren't we all?" Chin said.

"He thinks they don't have much of a chance," Danny added.

"That's great man," Lou said.

"Great, Lou?" Danny released his grip on the table and began using his hand for emphasis again as he released his anger. "Making me drag my kids through all this? Grace has been through this twice now and it was tough on her, really tough. She felt like she was being pulled in two directions and that's exactly what this will do to both of them now. Isn't it enough that their father is a freak with only one working arm? They have to be put in the middle of a battle too? Like pawns in a freaking chess match?"

Chin reached his hand out to stop Lou from replying but it wasn't necessary. Lou knew as well as the others that Danny was venting his anger, frustration and even fear out on Lou just as he had to Steve moments before but it was nothing personal.

Danny didn't even pause to take a breath. "Charlie's only really known me for six months. Before that I was just Grace's dad. He's four, Lou. He doesn't even know what it means when he hears that I'm his father. Stan's his dad. I'll just be some schmuck who's trying to take him away from his parents. Tell me how that even remotely sounds great Lou."

"Easy buddy," Steve said softly as Danny's seething outburst ended with a trembling wobble.

Fearing an embarrassing collapse, Danny braced himself on the table again and let out a long suffering exhale. Quickly realizing what he had just done, he spoke again. "Sorry Lou."

"It's okay man," Lou replied kindly. "I seriously never thought of it like that." But as a father, he truly understood the unenviable position Danny was now being put in.

Danny nodded. "That's because it's not your kids," he responded quietly.

That was the truth, they all realized. As much as they were hurt and saddened by this news, it wasn't their children in the midst of it. They loved Grace and were just beginning to get to know Charlie, but these children were Danny's life, his breath, his everything. That's what he had told the judge at the hearing for custody of Grace and it now held equally true for Charlie.

These same children were suffering along with their father over the devastating effects of the knife attack. Grace was called on to do more than she had been required to do before. Charlie had gone years without being held by his real father and might now never get to be lifted into his arms again. Hadn't they suffered enough?

Danny's next words were just a whisper but they filled the quiet room. "My lawyer in New Jersey didn't think Rachel would win sole custody of Grace either." But she had, which had allowed Rachel to bring her here and forced Danny to follow, changing his life forever.

Silence reined until Kono spoke, trying to be supportive. "So what do we do?"

Danny straightened and set his jaw, rounding up his resolve, then pointed to the large screen. "We find what we need to get that sunnuvabeech Gabriel Waincroft off the streets and make this island safer for everybody's kids." There was nothing he could do right now about the custody battle so he would focus on this.

Steve turned so he was facing Danny and spoke only to him, his voice a gentle whisper, as he looked his best friend in the eye. "You sure Danno?"

Danny nodded.

"I can take you home if you want," Steve offered just as quietly.

"No. I'd just sit and think about it then. Positive thinking right?" Nodding his head in appreciation and clearing his throat, Danny stepped a half step away from Steve and looked at Kono. "You were giving me an overview of where we stand with the bank records."


	46. Chapter 46

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Thanks to julieb716 who gave this a quick read through and helped me clear up some confusing parts. All mistakes are mine though.

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After Danny had revealed to the team that Rachel had sued for custody and Stan had sued for back child support, Danny had resolutely stuck to the reason for him being in the Palace that day in the first place. After finishing the review of all the information they had on Gabriel and his known associates Kono loaded all the relevant files and paperwork onto Danny's laptop. Through the following days, when his energy allowed, Danny had begun to scrupulously and diligently read through and sort through every shred of information they had. He took meticulous notes, typing painstakingly with his left hand. He had barely made a dent in the work so far but he was determined that eventually he would be able to find the threads that held the whole clandestine affair together and then bring them to the light of day to shut down Gabriel Waincroft's evil empire forever.

Now, it was Saturday night and Danny didn't have the kids so the team decided that it was a good time to get together for some food, drinks and a movie. They divided up the responsibilities and opted to meet at Danny's house since he was still unable to drive.

It was the team's strident wish that this evening would help Danny achieve a sense of normalcy in the midst of the confusion and uncertainty he had been battling now for weeks. Besides, the team truly missed his larger than life presence on the job each day and they hoped this gathering would help fill the void. The only thing that threw a shadow over the evening for Danny, besides the looming custody battle, was that Mindy had been called out by HPD and would not be able to join the rest of the team.

Steve had come early so he could put Danny's arm and shoulder through the series of stretches and massages, change the dressings in his wound, apply the warm compresses and then apply the tens unit. It was a long grueling process and conversation was the best way to alleviate Danny's pain and Steve's misplaced feelings of guilt for inflicting it.

They were discussing the 'bomb' that Danny's lawyer had dropped on him with his phone call. "So, now you have to make a similar filing for full custody," Steve told him.

"No. No, I'm not doing that," Danny replied as Steve finished up repacking the dressings and began the stretching exercises.

"So, you're just going to give up?" Steve asked.

"Give up? Of course not. I'm going to request joint custody like we have with Grace."

"No, you have to put her in her place, Danny. For once in your life, you have to stand up to her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Danny asked heatedly.

"Face it, pal. You're a tough guy, but you let Rachel walk all over you. Well, not just Rachel, women in general."

"Oh, don't start with the Melissa stuff again."

"You said Melissa. I didn't," although it was who he meant. "But now that you mention it…"

"I hate you so much right now, Steven. You're not helping."

"I am helping. I told you, you have to ask for full custody." As far as Steve was concerned, it was very simple.

"That's not the answer."

"The hell it's not. Let's see how she deals with the thought of losing her son." Steve said as he continued the physical therapy.

"And how about how Charlie feels about the thought of losing his parents?" Danny responded with a hiss. "Huh? What about that?"

"He'll have you," Steve pointed out.

"This is not about me or even Rachel. This is about what's best for Charlie," Danny argued.

"You, my friend, are what's best for Charlie. You're a much better parent than Rachel will ever be." It was rare for Steve to compliment Danny, but he felt this was a much-deserved exception.

Danny sighed. "I'm loathe to admit it, but she's a good mom, Steve. She loves those kids. You of all people should understand how important a mom is."

Steve ignored that because it was so very true and he didn't want to think about it. "Look what Rachel's done to you. What about that?"

"Our relationship is one thing. We're both at fault there, but that doesn't change the fact that she's a good mom to my kids."

"Okay, so she's a good mom. That doesn't mean that Rachel and Stan having custody is what's best for him." Steve retorted as he stretched out Danny's arm and uncurled his fingers.

"Of course it doesn't. I think a kid needs both parents. Having a mother and father who love him, two father's who love him actually, is better than making him a freaking pawn in a power struggle. Do you really think he'll be happier if he comes and lives with me all the time? Only seeing Rachel and Stan, his mom and dad as far as he knows, a few hours a week? Only seeing Grace on the days when she is here? That custody is final. That won't change. If I get full custody of Charlie, I'll even have to make him change schools. I'll be turning his whole life upside down. Rachel getting full custody wouldn't do that. It would just return him to the life he knew before he got sick."

"But you have to stand up to her."

"What do you think I've been doing? If I didn't stand up to her, Charlie and Grace would still think that Stan was his father. But I won't ask for something that isn't the best for the kids. I didn't even ask for full custody of Grace because I knew she needed her mother, too. How do you think Grace would feel if she knew I requested full custody of Charlie but not her?"

"You may have a point there," Steve admitted.

Danny grunted in pain as Steve forced his arm to extend above his head, one of the most difficult parts of the PT. When that part of the session was finished and the pain began to subside, Danny continued. "The way I see it, if Rachel wins full custody, I'm the one who suffers. If I get full custody, I'll be the only one who doesn't. I can't do that to my kids, Steve. I just can't."

Steve nodded in acquiescence. Danny's good side was often belied by his sarcasm and anxiety, but Danny was the most empathetic and generous person Steve had ever known, especially when it came to his kids. "Alright. I hear ya, partner. Whatever you decide you know I'm behind you." Bottom line, it was Danny's choice, not his.

"Yeah, I know." Danny offered his thanks with a slight nod and a look in the eye. Steve understood.

They were quiet for a few minutes before Danny spoke again. "I want him to have my name. I'm pushing Rachel on that already. Might be part of the reason she's doing this."

"I always felt it was weird that they gave him the middle name William." Steve admitted now.

"Yeah, same here. Rachel said it was a common name in Stan's family and he wanted to carry on the tradition, but it always seemed odd. What a fool I was to believe her when she said he wasn't mine. Damn fool."

"Hey, the truth is out now. Don't dwell on that. Just keep looking forward. So what are you changing his name, too? Charles William Williams is a bit odd."

Danny turned his head away slightly, knowing his friend would not be thrilled with his answer, and let out a sigh.

"No, don't tell me," Steve said. "No way."

"Stan deserves that much, Steve. Charles Edwards Williams or Charles Edward Williams. Either one is fine with me."

"You're doing it again. Letting her walk all over you."

"No, actually, she doesn't want to change his name at all. This was my idea. Stan did nothing wrong but he still lost a son and he still loves him the same. I can't dishonor that."

Steve nodded. Danny continued to reaffirm Steve's statement to Grace years ago that Danny was the best man he knew. "Now what about Stan's lawsuit?" Steve then asked as he helped Danny turn onto his back for more work.

"Hell if I know," Danny sighed. "The law doesn't care that I never knew he was my son. Stan didn't know either."

"Rachel should pay."

"With what money? She hasn't worked since we had Grace. Only thing I can think of is the fact that even now that Stan knows that he isn't Charlie's father he still continues to pay for everything like that fancy pre-school."

"That's brilliant."

"Makes me feel like an a** though."

"What? Why?"

"Because he's also paying for expensive treatment for my son, Steve. Treatments that I can't afford. Maybe some of it would be covered by our state health insurance. It's pretty good, but I don't know. There's still a ton of crap I'll have to pay for because of this," he said, indicating his injury. "Using that argument, I'm throwing Stan's generosity in his face."

"He's not doing it out of generosity, he's doing it because he loves Charlie."

"I know and he'd do the same for Grace, too." Danny gasped as his back twinged in pain.

"Sorry," Steve apologized, knowing he had literally pushed Danny's arm too far. "I just don't understand what they think they'll gain by filing these suits."

"Stan's angry, I get that, and he wants to hurt me any way he can. Rachel, well, she's embarrassed and confused. She's finding herself having to explain things to her family. Eventually her friends and even Stan's colleagues will find out what she did. It was her choice to lie about it all these years, to keep the truth from me and Stan and now she has to face the music. But, if she can get full custody then she can keep Charlie with her like it always has been, ergo fewer questions and fewer people who find out what she did, ergo less embarrassment."

"You've really thought this through," Steve replied, impressed.

"Of course I have. He's my kid." Danny hissed in pain as his shoulder was stretched to the limit. "But you know what I haven't figured out?"

"What's that buddy?"

"What I'll do if I lose."


	47. Chapter 47

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Well, reviews did it again. Several people asked for Grace's reaction to news of the pending custody battle so I wrote this chapter in response. I have to admit that I'm a bit surprised where the chapter led me, but I feel it's a true representation of Danny's feelings so I'm sticking with it. Don't worry, the dinner and movie chapters are already written (a long time ago actually) and will be posted in turn. This just seemed to fit better here then after the party.

Author's Confession: There's a part of me that's having a tough time writing a caring, loving ohana after what happened in the season 6 finale. Hope it comes across okay.

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The PT completed, Danny and Steve had turned their attention to doing a few things to get the house ready for the dinner and movie party. Eric had been a big help before work but there had been a few more details to finish up. In what amounted to perfect timing, Chin and Abby knocked at the door just as Steve was putting the broom away.

They were still standing in his living room when Danny heard the ringtone emanating from his pocket – The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars. He knew immediately who was calling and he pulled the phone out with a huge smile on his face. "Hey Monkey!" Grace had programmed the song as her ringtone on her dad's phone after he showed her the old video one day.

" _Danno?"_ Grace sobbed into the phone.

Danny was immediately on high alert, his eyes wide, his heart pounding and blood pressure rising. "Grace? Are you okay? Did something happen?"

Steve, Chin and Abby were all startled by Danny's panicked demeanor.

" _Can you come get me, Danno?"_

Danny didn't need to know more before he began to move. If Grace needed him, he would be there. "Of course I'll come get you," Danny told her, ocean blue eyes catching Steve's green-blue ones in a silent request. Steve immediately reached into his pocket for his keys. "Uncle Steve's right here. We're on our way."

"Go. We'll wait for the others," Chin assured them.

"Where are you?" Danny asked into the phone, as Chin was speaking and Steve was moving. With one arm in a sling and the other holding the phone, Danny couldn't even open the front door to leave, so his friend did it for him.

" _I'm at mom's,"_ Grace told him, choking back a sob.

Danny was confused. What could have happened there?

" _Please Danno. Will you come and pick me up? Charlie too."_ Grace continued, crying and talking fast.

"Grace, honey, just calm down. We're on our way. What happened? Is mom there?"

" _I hate her. I hate her so much. Please don't make me stay with her."_

Danny's heart was pounding way too fast and his blood pressure was shooting through the roof as they stepped out of the house and headed to Steve's truck. This wasn't like Grace at all. "What did she do, Monkey? What did mom do?"

Steve next to him and Chin and Abby behind him were totally startled by Danny's question about Rachel.

" _She wants to take Charlie away from you."_ Grace was crying so hard that she was barely understandable. _"I want us to live with you, not mom."_

Danny stopped in his tracks and Steve followed suit. Danny's heart was breaking and as he looked into his eyes, Steve's heart sank as well. Steve didn't know what Grace was saying but the look in his partner's eyes was enough. This was an emergency of a different kind. "How do you know that?"

" _I heard mom and Stan talking. Don't let them do that Danno. Don't let her take us away from you. I'd rather live with you."_

"Hey, hey, hey, Monkey, calm down, huh? Please just calm down and listen. I love you. It's going to be okay." Standing on his front walk, surrounded by Steve, Chin and Abby, he continued to speak soft and gentle endearments as Grace composed herself. "Just take a deep breath and calm down for me, okay?

As they stood there, Kono pulled up, got out of her car and joined them with a questioning shrug to her cousin. "Grace," Chin said in way of reply.

Finally, Grace hiccoughed as she contained her sobs. "You better now?" Danny asked softly into the phone.

 _"Uh huh."_

"Jersey strong, right?" Danny asked his daughter. Steve caught Danny's eye and snorted his disdain at the phrase.

" _Yeah."_ Grace sniffed and giggled.

"Grace, I wish things were different and I wish you had been told this directly, but yes, your mom asked the court if she can have full custody of Charlie." Danny was looking straight at Steve as he spoke. Kono, Chin and Abby nearby. All were finally privy to the reason for Grace's call.

" _Like what happened with me when that lady asked me lots of questions about you and Mom and Stan?"_

"Yeah, the same thing."

" _So, will the court say we get to stay with you half the time like I do now?"_

"Wait a second. This isn't about your custody, Grace. That's final. This is only about Charlie."

" _Okay."_ Grace's voice was still a plaintive cry.

"I don't know what the court will decide, but I really, really hope that they make it for Charlie the same as they did for you. I want to be a part of your brother's life just as much as I am for yours."

" _I know. You love him so much."_

"You okay with that?" Danny knew how hard this whole paternity thing had been on Grace.

" _Yeah. He's lucky. Danno, what if…"_

Danny cut her off. He didn't often do that but sometimes he found it necessary. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, no 'what if's', Monkey. I'm going to go into that court and fight for my son and whatever happens, we'll deal with it, together, okay?"

" _Jersey strong, right?"_

"Right." Danny smiled. Oh how he loved this girl. "You okay now?"

Grace sighed. _"Yeah. I guess so, but I want to be with you."_

"I always want to be with you, Grace, but I can't come get you right now. This is your mother's weekend. I know you're angry and upset, but I can't just come and get you whenever I feel like it. The court helped your mom and I make an agreement. I can't just go and change it."

" _Will the court get mad if you do that?"_

It was an over simplification but it would do for a 14 year old. "Yeah, yeah they will."

" _Then maybe they'll give Charlie to mom because you made them angry?"_

Again, the language was rather naïve, but the concept wasn't. "Yeah, maybe."

There was silence for a moment as Grace thought it through. _"Okay, then I'll stay here like I'm supposed to, but I don't want to talk to mom."_

Danny chose to just leave that last part alone - Rachel could make her own peace with their daughter. "I'm so sorry, Monkey. I wish I could fix it all for you."

"It's not your fault, Danno. Mom's the one being so mean. I won't do that when I get married."

"You're not getting married, Monkey. I'm sending you off to a convent the first time I even see you look at a boy." Phone still pressed to his ear, he headed back into the house now, followed by his chuckling friends.

" _Dannoooo."_ Grace's accompanying giggle was music to Danny's ears.

"You think I'm kidding? I'm not kidding," he laughed lightly. "Was your brother with you when you heard them talking?"

" _No. I don't think he knows about it."_

"Good." Charlie would have to be told about it before the social worker was sent to ask him questions but that could wait.

" _How are you feeling, Danno?"_ Grace now asked, feeling more settled but needing to stay connected to her father. She didn't want the call to end just yet.

"Perfect," Danny answered, a smile on his face now, trying to lift her spirits, despite the fear that lingered in his own heart over the custody case and so much else.

" _Dannoooo,"_ was Grace's exasperated reply.

"I always feel perfect with you, Monkey. You know that."

" _Okay, then how were you feeling right before I called?"_ was Grace's brilliant retaliatory query.

"Good comeback. You're a smart one," Danny told her.

" _Of course. I'm from Jersey. Answer the question, please."_

"Stubborn too."

" _Jersey,"_ Grace said as if it were an answer. _"And I'm also Jersey tough, so answer the question."_ She paused just a moment and then her voice was pleading. _"Really Danno, how are you feeling?"_

Danny sighed. He hated telling Grace he was hurting but he would never lie to her. "My back still hurts. That's not going to change much until they can close the wound." He had told her that many times but he was touched that she always asked. "I'm fine, though, so don't worry, okay?"

" _Okay. Can you move your arm yet? Feel anything?"_

Danny looked down at his arm, ensconced as usual, in the sling. "No. Nothing." Not wanting to make Grace feel bad, he added, "but it will happen. Just have to be patient."

" _Patient? But I'm from Jersey, Danno."_ Danny could practically hear her grin through the phone line.

"I'm from Jersey and I'm patient, Monkey." At Steve's disbelieving snort, Danny added. "Look at the Neanderthal I've worked with the past six years."

" _Uncle Steve's there with you?"_ She had been a bit distracted when Danny had first said it.

"Yeah. Kono, Chin and Abby too."

" _Oh! Tell them I said hi,"_ Grace said cheerily.

"I will Monkey. Did you finish your homework?"

" _Yeah, all done._

"Good girl. Danno loves you, Monkey."

" _Love you more."_

Danny let out a long sigh as they disconnected and sank exhaustedly into the sofa.

"Grace says hi," he said softly before his tone shifted dramatically. "Damn Rachel." With an angry, frustrated grunt, he tossed his phone into the cushions of the loveseat situated caddy-cornered to him. It bounced and clattered to the floor. "Damn her and Stan and their freaking mansion and their freaking lawyers and their freaking arrogance. Can't they see what this is doing to the kids? Don't they care? Doesn't Rachel care? They're her own kids, damnit."

The teammates glanced at each other and then Steve stepped over and sat down next to him. "I have no answers for you, buddy. Gracie okay?"

"Yeah."

"Charlie?"

"Yeah." Danny sighed again. Kono came and sat on his other side while Chin and Abby sat on the love seat. Abby leaned down, picked his phone up off the floor and wordlessly placed it on the coffee table in front of Danny.

"That's what's important," Steve said. He wasn't going to ask if Danny was okay; he obviously wasn't. "What happened?"

"Grace found out about the custody battle by over-hearing Rachel and StepStan." Danny paused and took a deep shuddering breath before continuing. "She wanted me to come and get her and Charlie so they could stay with me. Says she hates Rachel."

"Can't say as I blame her," Kono replied, patting Danny's knee as there was another knock on the door when Max arrived. Chin rose to answer it.

"Yeah," Danny agreed angrily, before his tone shifted again, softening. "But she's her mother, Kono. A child shouldn't hate her mother."

Rachel was the mother of his children, And for that simple reason, Danny could never really hate Rachel, never really turn his back on her. Rachel had given him the best thing in his life, best two things, actually, but Grace and Charlie were each as much a part of their mother as they were of him. Those two children were his reason for living, the reason he got up in the morning, the reason he battled so damn hard to live when that knife and that infection and that adverse reaction to the medicine nearly killed him.

Yet, Rachel had also inadvertently given Danny even more. When Danny had left behind everything he loved - his family, his job, his whole life in New Jersey - to follow her to this pineapple infested hellhole so he could be with his daughter, he had found an ohana, including a Neanderthal, Rambo, SuperSEAL animal of a partner who had turned into his best friend and brother.

Yes, Danny had lost much because of Rachel, but conversely, because of her he had gained so much more. For all of that, she would hold a special place in his heart forever.


	48. Chapter 48

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I think I've been cursed for whumping Danny. I played in a charity fundraiser soccer match and got fouled with a nasty slide tackle as I was trying to score. (Old ladies can be rough, I'm telling you.) Now my knee and shoulder are pretty banged up so no more soccer for a while. Totally bummed. Even sitting and typing hurts. Ugh.

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An hour later, Danny's dining room table was filled with food, his refrigerator was filled with Longboards, his kitchen was filled with ohana and his heart was filled to abundance with gratitude and appreciation. The custody case was a looming battle but he knew he would not have to face it alone. He was far from his large biological family but he had his ohana right here. This evening, they would relax and enjoy some special time together unencumbered by work.

As Danny Williams often did, he would show his gratitude and appreciation in his own unique style. "Hey, can we keep some open space on the table? Please? Hungry, one-handed man here can't fill a plate with all this good food if there's no space to set the plate down." A broad smile crossed his face as he sidestepped a chip thrown at him by his partner.

"Eat that," Steve said.

"Seriously, Steven? Seriously? Now you're throwing food in my house? What are you, five? You are an animal in serious need of housetraining."

"Oh really?" Steve shot back. "Who swept your floor today before all these good people came to keep your sorry injured butt company?"

"Well," Danny deadpanned, pointing to the chip on the floor, "looks to me like you need to get back to work."

Several teammates laughed while Steve smirked and shook his head.

Danny piled his plate high with food, studiously avoiding anything that would need to be cut with a knife. He knew anybody there would cut it for him but he preferred avoiding that embarrassment right now. There were plenty of finger food options and he settled for stuffed peppadews, bloomin' onion, mozzarella sticks, and his personal favorite mini crab cakes that reminded him of weekend trips to Maryland with friends when he lived in New Jersey. Leaving his plate on the table for a moment, he headed to the fridge. "Who wants a Longboard?"

Danny pulled out a cold one and popped it open using the built-in opener on his wall then brought the bottle to his lips, only to have it swiped away. "Hey!" Danny exclaimed. "What the hell?"

Kono took a long drink from the bottle. "Thanks brah. You asked who wanted one."

"This is your fault," Danny told Steve as he pointed at Kono. "She's acting more like you every day."

"And your problem with that is…?" Steve asked.

"Just looking out for you Danny. Pain meds and all, you shouldn't be drinking," Kono explained, taking another sip and finishing with a satisfied ahhh.

"It's just one beer," Danny complained. "And I'm off the meds." He grabbed another beer out of the fridge.

"You are?" Steve asked as he snatched this bottle from Danny. This was news to him.

"Yeah." Danny threw a death glare at Steve but said nothing about the beer he had just snatched. "As of now. Those pain meds don't do a damn thing at the dose they were giving me anyway," Danny defended as he grabbed a third Longboard.

"That may be, but alcohol raises your blood pressure, brah," Chin argued as he tried to grab this bottle out of Danny's hand. "You can't risk that."

"Seriously Chin?" Danny said as he swung the bottle out of Chin's reach and turned towards the bottle opener on the wall, wincing as he did so.

"I am inclined to believe that your doctor has not given you permission to drink alcoholic beverages, Detective." Max tossed in his opinion as he snagged the bottle that Chin had missed. "And, additionally, simply stopping the pain medicine is unwise. You must titrate down carefully."

"Just wonderful. I have a whole friggin' brood of thieving mother hens right here in my own kitchen," Danny griped while simultaneously adjusting his right arm with his left hand in a vain attempt to relieve the pain in his back.

"Brood?" Steve questioned. He should have known better.

"Yes, Steven a group of hens is called a brood. Look it up Neanderthal." Danny reached for the refrigerator door again but the brood was still hovering.

"Tell you what, man," Lou said as he patted Danny on his good shoulder. "Renee sent some really nice fresh brewed iced tea. I was just going to pour myself a nice tall glass. Care to join me?"

Casting a wary glance at his caring but annoying friends, Danny sighed, giving in. "Sure Lou. Thanks. If Renee made it, it has to be good. I ever tell you how lucky you are?"

"Many times, man, but keep on saying it. I don't mind." He opened the fridge. "Sweetened, with a nice hint of lemon," Lou said, describing the tea as he pulled a pitcher from the fridge and poured two tall glasses.

Taking his in hand, Danny took a long sip and smiled. "Ahhhhhh. You're a lucky man, Lou."

Steve stepped over now and opened his hand, revealing a small pill. "Take it."

"You're stealing my pain meds now?"

"Not stealing – dealing," Steve said with a smirk. "Take it. Doctor's orders."

Danny looked at Steve and then at all the faces around him. He had to admit that his back was killing him. The low dose of pain meds didn't make a huge dent in the pain but at least it took a bit of the edge off.

"Come on Danny. Give yourself a break. Just take it. You'll feel better," Chin coerced.

"Fine," Danny said, grabbing the pill and swallowing it down with a swig of iced tea. "Now, will you let me eat?" He snagged a mini crab cake off his plate and devoured it in one bite. Heavenly.

Friendly conversation continued as the friends all stood around and ate with plates balanced in their hands or set on the counter or table. Only Abby noticed Danny surreptitiously slip out the back door a while later into the dark. Figuring he simply wanted a bit of fresh air as the crowded room was becoming a little warm she didn't think much of it at first, even though it was odd to leave his still partially filled plate, but when ten minutes had passed and he still hadn't returned, Abby went out to check.

She spotted him sitting in a deck chair, facing away from the house. His left elbow was leaning on the arm of the chair and his head was in his hand. She approached closer and heard his staccato breathing, noticed him rocking in the chair. "Danny, are you aright?" she asked hesitantly. She didn't know him well, not like the others did, and she wasn't quite sure why she followed him out here instead of telling Chin. Curiosity maybe, if she was honest with herself. Now she wished curiosity wasn't such a strong trait. She touched him on the shoulder. "Danny?"

Danny was startled by the voice and touch. The touch blazed through his shoulder and into his head like lightning. He raised his head and it forced him to an awareness of his surroundings that he had been trying to block out. The lights from the kitchen were spreading just a small puddle of light across the small patio where he sat. Even though he sat in the shadows, to him right now it felt like the bright afternoon sunshine scorching his eyes. Inside the team was chatting merrily. The voices from the house that leaked out to him seemed to magnify as they rumbled around in his head.

Abby noticed that his eyes were unfocused, his brow creased in pain. When he didn't answer she spoke again. "Can I get you something? Maybe get Chin for you. Or Steve?"

The voice, so close to his ear, although kind and tender as it left Abby's mouth, was like a collection of clashing cymbals and banging drums and fingernails on an old fashioned blackboard when it reached Danny's ears. "No! M'fine. Thanks," he ground out between panting breaths. He leaned over again now, his left arm on his left knee. Abby could see his body shaking, see the tense muscles bulging through his shirt. His hand clenched in a tight fist.

Very worried now, Abby headed quickly back to the house realizing that this must be one of the nerve pain attacks she had heard the team mention. It looked like torture to her. Stepping back into the house she headed straight for Chin where he was standing talking to Jerry. Chin slipped his arm around her. By now everybody knew they were in a relationship anyway. "I'm sorry to interrupt," she said, "but Chin I need you for a moment."

Chin noticed the urgency in her voice immediately. "Excuse me Jer," he said as he turned away and moved next to Abby. "What's the matter?"

"It's Danny," she whispered, causing Chin to stop in his tracks. "I think he's having one of those nerve attacks. It looks awful."

"Yeah, they are," he agreed. "Where is he?"

"On the patio," she said, using the mainlanders word for the lanai. They were moving again. "Chin, I didn't know how to help him."

"Nothing you can do. We just leave him alone. Dark and quiet is what he needs."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I spoke to him. It startled him."

"It's okay Abby."

"I asked him if he wanted me to get you. He said no."

They were at the sliding doors to the lanai now and Chin looked out. He could barely make out Danny in the shadows. He glanced back over his shoulder. If they stayed here staring out the window the others would start wondering and soon Danny's nerve attack would become public knowledge and the topic of conversation, creating a common aura of worry. That was definitely something Danny wouldn't want. Tonight was to be a celebration of ohana.

Quickly coming up with a plan, Chin pulled a clean towel from a drawer. "Come on," he said, grabbing her hand and heading out the door. He moved into a chair on the opposite side of the lanai and dragged Abby into his lap. This way he could keep an eye on Danny without drawing anybody else's attention to him. One look out the door and they'd see Chin and Abby cuddling in a chair. Nobody would notice Danny. It seemed unkind in a way but it allowed Danny a modicum of privacy while still allowing them to keep a watchful, caring eye on him.

"Smooth, very smooth," Abby whispered to him as she settled in his lap. But it was impossible to be amorous while watching someone suffer.

Inside Danny's house, Steve looked around for his injured partner as he had been doing for the last ten minutes or so. Danny was a grown man and, while having been seriously injured, he had been doing well the past few days. But, then again, Danny had almost died, twice, just a few weeks ago so Steve had the right to be apprehensive. Making his way down the hall to the back of the house he glanced into the open door of Grace's room. Finding it empty he proceeded to Danny's room at the end of the hall. Giving a small knock in case Danny was inside he turned the knob and peered in. Empty. A quick check found the bathroom empty as well, although he did note the automatic toothpaste dispenser. He thought of Mindy and smiled.

Steve closed the door behind him as he made his way back to the living area where the team was congregating. Still not finding Danny he now headed for the sliding doors to the lanai. He was ready to step out the door when he spotted Abby sitting on Chin's lap in one of the deck chairs. Smirking at the sight he then noticed that their attention was only half on each other and half on the other side of the yard. Following their line of sight, Steve finally saw his partner, tucked in the shadows and, very obviously from his now all-too-experienced eye, suffering from a blinding nerve pain attack. Damn. This was supposed to be a fun evening for him and now this.

Battling the desire to go outside and simply be there for Danny, Steve reminded himself that Chin also cared for Danny deeply and already had his back. Pulling in a deep breath, Steve turned and walked over to Jerry who was standing alone.

Outside, Danny continued to battle the blazing, unrelenting pain that was burning and shocking it's way down his back, up through his neck, across his shoulder and burrowing it's way inside his chest, taking his breath away. Damn, he hated this.

A short while later, the attack subsided and Danny was beginning to breath better and become more aware. Leaning over, elbow on his knee, he was vaguely aware of movement behind him, whispered voices. Chin maybe? Heard the sound of his door open, the outdoor faucet running briefly, footsteps coming towards him; found it odd but was too wrung out to care.

Hearing Chin's voice softly whispering his name, Danny sat up and leaned back in the chair with an exhausted sigh. Still unable to focus clearly, Danny blinked a few times, trying to escape the fog. He felt, more than saw, a cool, damp towel being placed in his hand. He nodded gratefully and then raised it to wipe his sweaty face, then his neck, relishing its blessed coolness. "Thanks Chin," he said when he was able to control his voice.

Chin nodded, even though Danny wasn't even looking at him, staring out into the dark night instead. "You okay now?"

"Yeah," Danny answered, wondering when Chin had sat down beside him.

"Take as long as you need." Chin waited silently, allowing Danny's sizzling nerves to settle.

A short while later, Chin followed Danny into the house and upon seeing Steve's concerned look, Chin stopped to speak to him as Danny continued almost blindly down the hallway to his room.

"Nerve attack?" Steve asked.

"Yeah. Seems like it wasn't a really long one, at least."

Steve pointed towards Danny and his room. "Do you want me to…"

"No. I got it," Chin assured him.

Steve nodded, albeit reluctantly. He knew Chin cherished Danny's friendship and would take good care of him, but it was difficult to not be the one there with him. Danny was his partner. 'Control issues'. He could almost hear Danny's voice in his head. With a wry smile, he turned and walked back to the dining room where several people had noticed Danny's sweaty retreat. "Let's get cleaned up and ready for the movie," he announced authoritatively. Control issues came in many styles.

In the bedroom, Chin helped Danny remove his arm from the sling. "Let's get that shirt off and get you cleaned up, brah," Chin told him.

In reply, Danny tried to make light of yet another embarrassing situation. "Hey babe. Abby know that you're back here stripping me naked and stealing the last vestiges of my moral dignity?"

"Good question. She may never look at me the same after this," Chin joked in reply.

Danny gave him a lopsided grin, blue eyes sparkling with mirth despite what he'd just been through. "You kidding me? I'll never look at you the same after this."


	49. Chapter 49

A/N I do not own any of the characters.

A/N Some tips of the hat to Scott in this chapter – one very, very easy tip of the hat. I know it's a no-brainer for you Scott-aholics. Anybody else? There are also some more difficult/creative ones to challenge the true Scotty fans.

H50 H50 H50

With his friend's help, Danny managed to remove the sling, remove his sweat soaked shirt, clean up a bit and don a clean, dry shirt. After Chin worked at massaging out a painful muscle spasm in his neck, the two returned to the party about 25 minutes after disappearing down the hall.

"Movie time," Chin said as they stepped back into the living area. "What did you pick out, Kono?"

"'Into the Blue,'" she answered.

"Let me guess, surfer flick," Danny responded as he settled his aching body into the sofa on the spot Steve had saved for him. "Ocean. Sharks." With a nod he responded to Steve's silent check on how he was feeling.

"Men with no shirts on," Lou added with a laugh.

"Nope. Well, not exactly. It is about the ocean but not surfing. I hear the oceanic cinematography is amazing," Kono said.

"Uh, huh," Danny replied with a smirk. "National Geographic channel has awesome oceanic cinematography." He turned to Lou now. "I bet you're right, man."

Kono blushed slightly. "Well, there are women in bikinis too."

"Now we're talkin'," Danny agreed with a grin. "What are we waiting for, huh? Pass the Brownie Bourbon Balls – or is that too much alcohol, mother hens?"

They all found seats as the movie started, enjoying the delicious dessert as well as the story as it unfolded. Soon, the four main characters in the movie were on a boat at sea ready to do some scuba diving. "Oh wow, look at him," Kono was practically drooling.

"If only Adam could see you now," Chin joked.

"Hey, I'm allowed to look," Kono replied, not taking her eyes off of the screen.

"Which one are you looking at?" Chin asked, amused.

"Bryce," Kono sighed. "Just look at him. All muscle and machismo. And those eyes! He's amazing."

"Look at those shoulders, that chest," Abby agreed, drooling as well. The two women seemed to forget that they weren't alone in the room. "And that sultry bedroom voice."

"What?" Chin squeaked, no longer amused. "Bedroom voice?"

"That a problem?" Abby asked Chin with a grin, prompting him to shrug but keep his mouth shut.

"Personally, I prefer Sam." Danny threw in his opinion. "

"I like Amanda better," Steve replied. "I just wish she had a brain."

"I have to agree with Danny," Lou said.

"What about you, Chin?" Steve asked, stirring the pot a bit.

"No comment," Chin replied.

"Wimp." Danny shook his head with a laugh.

"Can you keep it down?" Jerry asked. "I'm trying to watch."

"Is there some conspiracy going on that we don't know about?" Lou asked with a chuckle.

"Actually, I suspect there is," Jerry replied, before going into the thinking behind his suspicions.

The movie continued and the characters did some scuba diving, some talking, some planning, some drinking, some fighting. Bryce was definitely the conniving thinker of the bunch. "Love me the bad boy," Kono said.

A short while later, Eric came in the house and took a look at the screen. "Hey Uncle D, that guy looks like you."

"Which one?" Steve asked, laughing. "Jared or Bryce?"

"I don't know," Eric replied. He had just walked in. He didn't know the characters. "That one." He pointed as a shot of shirtless Bryce came on screen.

Danny smiled and blushed when he realized that Eric was talking about the same guy that Kono and Abby had been drooling over for the past hour.

"Oh, no way," Steve protested. "No way, man. You're blind."

Kono jumped from her seat. "Oh wow, brah, you're right." She pushed a button and paused the movie on a still shot of shirtless Bryce. "Even the eyes."

Chin, Lou, Max and Jerry all joined in with Steve. There was no way they'd admit that Eric had a point, Steve and Lou being the most vocal in their opposition.

"Seriously. I have some old pictures of Uncle D back in the day," Eric said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"Eric!" Danny warned.

"Take a look." Ignoring his uncle's warning, Eric clicked some buttons on his i-phone and hooked it up with the Apple tv. Up popped a picture of a shirtless Danny posing like a model, jeans unbuttoned at the top, hand resting at the waistline, muscles bulging, rippling and gleaming.

"You've been holding out on us, brah," Kono said as she stared, slack-jawed.

"Wow!" Abby added wide-eyed.

"Oh geez, Eric. Turn that off," Danny protested.

"Where did you get that?" Lou asked laughing as a second photo showed on the screen.

"Eric!" Danny growled again.

Grinning broadly and bouncing happily, Eric popped another picture up on the screen next to it, then another. He grew up admiring and adoring his uncle. Now he was like a kid at show and tell, ready to share his hero with others. Soon, there were several pictures of shirtless Danny surrounding the still shot of Bryce in the movie.

"Newark PD cop of the month calendar photo shoot." Steve answered Lou's question. "You never told me you had more shots, Eric."

"Can we just watch the movie," Jerry asked.

"Good idea," Danny agreed.

"No!" Steve insisted. "You have any more Eric? Send them to me." Steve grabbed the phone from Eric's hand and began tapping away on the screen.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! No way. No freakin' way," Danny shouted, struggling to get out of the sofa. But he was hurting something fierce and he could barely move. "Give me the phone, Steven," he growled as he dropped back into the sofa, unable to rise.

Steve tapped one more time, then extended the phone to Danny. "Okay," he said sweetly. His pathetic attempt at looking innocent made him look totally goofy instead.

Danny looked at the phone. The images had been sent. "You're an animal, a total Neanderthal animal. And you," he turned to look at Eric who had the common sense to take a step back. "Where do you think you're sleeping tonight?"

"My house," Steve offered with a grin. This was good. So, so, good.

"I hate you so much right now, Steven," Danny growled.

"I don't know what you're getting all worked up about Danny," Kono said, cutting into the teasing. "Those are really, really nice pictures of you and who wouldn't want to look like a movie star? Steve's just jealous."

"I am not jealous," Steve protested, folding his arms across his chest like a child throwing a tantrum.

"Yes you are. You all are," Kono charged. "And if you're not, you should be," she taunted.

"She's right, Danny," Abby agreed.

Gears turning in his head, Danny nodded now. Continuing the battle would just give Steve and Eric more fuel for the teasing fire.

"Hey, I'm not jealous," Chin objected, but the women weren't listening.

"Does HPD make a calendar?" Abby asked Kono with a grin.

"Oh, they should. They really should," Kono agreed. "I'll send them that first pic and get it rolling. Give me the phone Danny."

Handing the phone to Kono, Danny turned a smug, evil, knowing grin on Steve as he spoke calmly to Eric. "You have any more pictures there Eric? The ladies enjoy the view."

Steve shook his head and chuckled. Danny had turned the tables on him again.

"Can we finish the movie, please?" Jerry asked loudly, completely unimpressed with the conversation about women ogling Danny.

"Any chicks in bikinis?" Eric asked about the movie.

"Chicks, Eric? Really?" Danny scoffed.

"You tell him, Danny," Abby said.

"They're babes," Danny finished with a smirk, barely reacting in time to catch the pillow that Kono threw his way. "Thanks babe," he said as he placed the pillow behind his back.

"Hey, I was using that," Kono pouted.

"Well, you should think before you throw. Right Steven?" Danny asked.

"What do I have to do with this?"

"She learns this stuff from you," Danny said.

"He has a point there," Chin agreed, laughing.

"Can we just watch the movie, please? I think I've figured out what the conspiracy is," Jerry pleaded.

"Are you seriously watching for the plot?" Lou asked incredulously. "Have you seen the women on there?"

"Well, Kono's watching for the 'amazing oceanic cinematography'," Danny playfully pointed out with a laugh as he finger quoted with his left hand. "Right babe?"

If Kono had another pillow she would have thrown it at him but had to settle for sticking her tongue out at him behind a barely suppressed smile.

"And you call me immature, Uncle D?" Eric said before trying to nudge his way onto the sofa next to him. Danny gave him a baleful stare and he sat at Danny's feet instead, removing the photos of Danny from the screen. "Who has the remote?"

Kono started the movie up again and Jerry was thrilled that he had successfully predicted the conspiracy part of the movie when that part was revealed.

While Kono and Abby nearly cried in distress, Danny got a bit agitated when Bryce was pinned to the ocean floor by a heavy cannon they were trying to salvage and then ran out of air in his tank. Jared and Sam shared their oxygen with him as they tried to move the canon off of him.

"Oh wow, that sucks," Steve said.

Soon after, the air of the two people with him ran out as well and they had to creatively buddy breathe using the air left in an underwater balloon to keep him alive. "See, the ocean is even trying to kill my doppelganger," Danny pointed out. "That's how much the ocean hates me."

"I thought it was this island that hated you," Steve said.

"That, too."

"Shhhh," Jerry pleaded.

The action picked up at the end as Jared and Bryce tried to save the day. An epic underwater battle ensued and Bryce was shot with a spear gun as he protected Jared.

"Oh no! Bryce!" Kono cried.

The bad guy was tugging the rope attached to the barbed spear impaled in Bryce's gut pulling Bryce towards him painfully. Bloodthirsty sharks began to circle closer. Jared came to the rescue and saved him, sending him to the top so the spear could be removed and the wound could be taken care of before he bled out in the ocean, or got attacked by the sharks that were attracted to the blood.

A short while later, in the final scene of the movie, Bryce was happy and healthy and totally unscathed by his brush with death. "Look at him. He's totally fine," Kono complained.

"Yeah, I hate when they do that," Abby agreed. "No scar or anything. It's as if nothing happened."

"It's a movie, they take dramatic license," their resident Navy SEAL pointed out.

"I don't care what they do," Kono said. "Just give us some good whump."

"Whump?" Lou asked.

"Yeah, whump. First he gets crushed by a cannon and comes out of it perfectly fine. And then he's impaled by a harpoon and then nearly had his guts pulled out and he doesn't even have a bandage or scratch or scar on him," Kono whined, dejectedly.

"He's jumping around like nothing happened. Not suffering a bit," Abby added.

Danny tilted his head in bewilderment. "You mean you want him to be suffering and scarred for life? I have no words." He instinctively reached over with his left hand and massaged his shoulder on the injured side.

"You made Danny speechless. Mark it down in the record books folks," Lou said.

"I thought you liked the guy?" Steve queried. "You two were practically drooling."

"We were not," Kono objected, but then everybody looked at her. "Okay, we were, but…"

"But then why do you want him 'whumped'?" Chin asked.

"I believe that our lady friends here derive some unique form of pleasure when they watch an attractive male suffer from an injury," Max said. "The more pain the attractive male suffers, the greater the pleasure. It is not a rare phenomenon by any means."

"That's sick," Lou said.

"It's not like that," Kono tried to explain, but it really kind of was like that.

"So, let me get this straight. You think this Bryce guy is totally hot…" Eric began.

"Don't even go there, Eric," Danny warned.

"…and you think he looks like Uncle D…"

"Eric!"

"No, no no!" Kono and Abby both exclaimed, waving their arms in objection.

"…and you want to watch him get whumped because it excites you?"

Danny groaned. "I think I'm going to be sick."


	50. Chapter 50

A/N No, I did not abandon this story and have no intention of doing so. I am so sorry it has been so long between posts. I've been trying to post for close to a week and the site kept telling me there was an error. I emailed site support but got no reply. Then Tracy450 and Wenwalke told me how to post it a different way and it didn't work, but they got me in the right direction. Thanks Tracy and Wenwalke. Then my son was able to figure the last of it out. Thank God for kids. I hope it was worth the wait.

A/N The main tip of the hat in the last chapter was the movie 'Into The Blue' in which Scott Caan starred as Bryce. Scott's friend, Paul Walker (may he rest in peace) starred as Jared. So many wonderful shots of young, shirtless Scott in that movie. Sigh. Other "tips" include Danny saying he preferred Sam (she was played by Jessica Alba who dated Scott for a time), and the picture I described that Eric put up on the screen which was a real picture of Scott from a photo shoot he did for Calvin Klein that is stunningly hot. The "bad boy" line was a tip to Scott because he is a self-confessed former "bad-boy" but also it was meant to be a joke on the Kono/Adam relationship. Congrats to bswindle who got all of those.

The tips that nobody got were the descriptions "all muscle and machismo" and "bedroom voice" which I read in articles about Scott.

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

H50 H50 H50

Steve brought Danny to his latest follow-up appointment with the surgeon to be followed directly by a physical therapy appointment in the same building. As they waited in the examination room, Steve stepped over to where Danny was sitting on the exam table to help him remove his arm from the sling and get his shirt off. They were hoping the stitches in the wound on his chest could be removed and that the wound in his back could finally be stitched up so the healing there could begin. The open wound was painful and Danny was way more than ready for this chapter of his recovery to be over.

Something Lou had said to him the day before had been stuck in Danny's mind since then so he asked the question of Steve. "Hey babe, what exactly does 'overcome with relief' mean?"

Steve was taken by surprise. "What's that?"

"Lou said that when you found out my second surgery went okay that you were 'overcome with relief'. Rather creative language, don't you think?" Danny raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, quirking a playful smile.

"What can I say? Your creative language is rubbing off on me." Steve tried to make light of it.

"That was rather me of you, but seriously? Big, bad SuperSEAL can't admit to fainting?" Danny said with a fond look in his eyes but an evil grin on his lips.

"I didn't faint," Steve protested, as he placed Danny's sling to the side and began helping him with his shirt.

"You think anybody's buying that? Next you're going to try and sell me the Brooklyn Bridge."

"You know, I liked it better when you were unconscious," Steve stated with a smirk.

"No you didn't. You love me, babe."

"At least I didn't have to hear you talk all the time."

"Talk all the time? Seriously? I'll have you know that I only speak when something important needs to be said, and with a Neanderthal like you there's always a lot that needs…." Suddenly, Danny grunted in pain as they jostled his back a bit too much while removing his shirt.

Danny clenched his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut as he focused on riding out the wave of hurt and clearing the stars from his vision. He was so done with this.

"Breathe buddy," Steve said, concerned, sitting down next to Danny on the exam table. "Just breathe through it, nice and easy."

"I know how to breathe," Danny uttered through clenched teeth.

Steve ignored him and continued to coach. "In. Out."

"Since I was born, Steven."

A few minutes later, the doctor walked in as Danny settled. "How are you doing Danny?" the doctor asked.

"My back still hurts and I can't feel a damn thing in my arm, but, hey, I'm looking down at the ground instead of up at it so it's all good, right Doc?" Danny answered with a smile.

"Have you been having mood swings?" the doctor asked with a smile of his own.

"Actually, Doc," Steve interjected, "It's a helluva surprise considering who we're talking about, but this is his bad mood lately." Danny's mood had been remarkably upbeat.

"Animal," Danny grunted with a crooked grin.

The doctor raised his eyebrows and smiled. He had seen these two interact many times over the weeks Danny was hospitalized, had heard them bicker over nonsense and had likewise borne witness to Steve's bedside vigils when Danny was at his worst. Their friendship was unusual in many ways but it was an undoubtedly strong bond. "Well, let's get started. Do you want Steve to stay or do you want him to leave?" It was his professional responsibility to ask.

"Might as well let him stay. Otherwise he'll pester me with questions for the next week."

"That's what partners do," Steve told him, nudging him with his shoulder.

Danny shot Steve a glare at the word partner, but did not make an issue of it in front of the doctor. "No, that's what mother hens do. But, let's get on with this before he charges me for two visits instead of one." He shoved Steve with his left arm. "Get off my table, babe."

The levity over, the surgeon proceeded with his follow-up exam beginning with taking Danny's vitals.

"How is he doc?" Steve asked.

"Blood pressure is still on the high side," the doctor remarked. Even with Danny on half of the normal dose of pain meds, his blood pressure was still elevated, albeit not nearly as dangerously high as before.

Danny simply extended his left hand, palm up, towards his hovering and concerned friend. "You find that surprising?"

The doctor laughed, before remarking to Steve. "Try and keep his stress level down, mother hen."

"Thank you, doc. Thank you," Danny said in a grinned response.

Steve cast a fond glance his way, happy to see that Danny was still keeping his sarcastic sense of humor through this whole ordeal.

"Have you been using the incentive spirometer, as prescribed?" the doctor asked as he finished listening to Danny's lungs.

Danny nearly growled. "I hate that freaking thing."

"Is that a yes?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah, doc, that's a yes. My lungs are fine. I can stop using that medieval torture device now, right?"

"Unfortunately, your respirations are still shallow from the pain. You'll need to keep using it at least a few more weeks, until you can take deeper, more prolonged breaths."

Danny sighed and shook his head, but said nothing.

The doctor proceeded to question Danny about the lingering headaches and the cramping in his neck and shoulders. He also inquired about the nerve pain attacks even though it was the professional domain of the neurologist.

After carefully checking the wound in Danny's chest, the doctor proclaimed that the wound was healing nicely. Danny and Steve exchanged a happy look.

With the head of the exam table pulled upright, Danny leaned back as the doctor proceeded to remove the stitches and then examine the wound again with an approving nod. "Looks really good. Healing nicely," the doctor said. "Now, let's get you turned over and check the back." That was the problem wound.

"You ready?" Steve asked Danny as they lowered the head of the exam table. Turning was never an easy experience, although they had improved the method with practice.

Danny didn't even offer a verbal reply; he just gritted his teeth and began to move. With Steve's unfailing help, he was settled onto his stomach a few minutes later.

The doctor checked the area around the wound first and then proceeded to remove the packing from the wound itself and inspect inside. "Have you been taking the antibiotics as prescribed?"

"Yeah," Danny answered.

"Changing the packing and irrigating the wound regularly?"

Steve answered this one. "Yeah Doc. Everything okay?" He didn't like the way this was going.

"The infection has spread again. The wound needs additional debriding."

"We've been doing everything you told us," Steve defended quickly. Danny and Steve had both been optimistic that they could finally stitch up the wound and this was not what they expected to hear. Debriding caused more bleeding, more pain and more time with an open wound. But, even worse, the fact that the infection was spreading rather than clearing up was truly disconcerting news. "He's taking the antibiotics and I'm changing the packing and irrigating it just like you showed me. What am I doing wrong?"

"This doesn't necessarily mean that you're doing anything wrong," the doctor said in a calm voice.

"Then what's going on?" Steve asked. "Why is it getting worse?"

"This isn't unusual. This is a particularly virulent strain of infection and it sometimes takes months to clear up. If you give me a few minutes I can do the debriding right now. A local anesthetic will suffice this time."

"Okay Doc," Steve said, and then watched as the doctor left the room to prepare for the procedure.

Steve looked at his blond friend lying there on his stomach on the exam table. The open wound in Danny's back seemed to stare brazenly back at him, taunting him with its still potent power over his best friend - his loquacious partner who hadn't said a word since the doctor mentioned more debriding. "Danny…"

"Don't."

"Listen…"

"Just quit, will ya?" It wasn't the news Danny wanted to hear and he wanted, no needed, a moment to process it. He had battled, hard, the past month to remain positive, to not give in to the never-ending bad news.

"No, I'm not going to quit. Life keeps throwing you curveballs, but…"

"I can hit a damn curveball," Danny retorted with a gravel-like edge to his voice. Couldn't Steve see that he was trying, really trying, not to let this get to him?

"That's right," Steve agreed, grinning at his partner.

"I'm a baseball player, damn it. Curveballs, fastballs, you name it. I can hit it." Danny growled out.

"Yes you can, Danno. Yes you can." Steve was proud of his partner's resilience.

The doctor returned and administered a local anesthetic by injection to a number of places around the wound. The injection process, itself, was a bit painful, but Danny bore it silently. After giving it time to take effect, the doctor began to cut away the infected tissue.

Steve was allowed to remain with his friend and he found himself torn between focusing on him and watching the messy, bloody yet fascinating process.

Noticing his diverted attention, Danny gave him permission to observe the procedure. "I'm fine. Go ahead and watch, you Neanderthal. I'm sure more than once you've wished you could take a slice out of me yourself," Danny joked to Steve.

The doctor snorted and raised his hands. "Please don't make me laugh while I have a scalpel in your back."

"Sorry Doc," Danny apologized.

Steve was mesmerized as the doctor returned to his work. When he had been there while the doctor did this in the hospital, Steve had focused on Danny, not the wound. He had never seen anything like this before. There, right in front of him, he could actually see inside his friend's body – muscles, nerves..., not that he could identify them, and the doctor was actually cutting inside there. Suddenly, Danny flinched and grunted.

"Doc?" Steve queried. He saw blood bubbling from the wound before the nurse wiped it away.

"Sorry. The local anesthetic only goes so deep. Almost done though," the doctor stated.

Danny jerked a few more times and let out a prolonged wheezy gasp, a fine sheen of sweat beading on his brow.

"Doc?" Steve growled this time.

"All done," the doctor announced before placing the scalpel down on the tray and beginning the process of staunching the bleeding he had just caused with the procedure, and then irrigating and repacking the open wound. "Continue the same treatment and we will assess again next week." He looked down at Danny still on the table. "So Danny, how is Dr. Shaw?"

Danny felt his jaw clench unbidden. "Doing well."

"You know Dr. Shaw?" Steve asked the doctor.

"Met her in Danny's room," the doctor admitted. "Fine woman. I understand she's a colleague of yours."

"Yes. Yes she is." Steve's eyes darted to Danny as the gears started turning in his head. Must have been when she gave him that toothpaste dispenser…

"Help me turn over, huh, Steve?" Danny asked, managing to change the subject and redirect Steve's thoughts.

Fifteen minutes later, Danny had his shirt and the sling on again and the partners stepped out of the doctor's office and headed to the elevator, which would take them up to the floor of the physical therapists office.

At the physical therapy office the questions started again - for weeks now, the same questions. For weeks now, Danny tried not to doubt his own potential for healing while he gave the same answers.

"Any feeling or movement?"

"No."

"Tingling sensation in your fingers? Numbness? Heaviness?"

"No. No. No."

On it went. There was no change, no improvement. The bottom line was that his chances for there ever being any improvement diminished with each passing day.

The therapist began manipulating Danny's fingers, testing for a response, but got none. Then the actual therapy started. The twice a week physical therapy performed by the professional was more advanced and complicated than the daily routine that Steve and Chin had been performing and the resultant pain was exponentially higher.

When they finally finished, Danny struggled just to rise from the table and get dressed again. Stalwart as always, Steve helped him with everything. Danny was uncharacteristically silent and Steve followed suit. They no longer needed to talk to perform these tasks together and so they didn't.

Steve knew that Danny was exhausted and in pain; he knew that Danny was stunned by the news that the infection had spread. Usually, Danny handled stress and fear, actually any emotion, by talking – a lot. This time was different. Danny's silence was startling. He also knew that Danny never stayed quiet for long and figured he would speak soon. What he didn't know was that when he did speak, it would be like opening Pandora's box.


	51. Chapter 51

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I'd like to thank all of those who have followed and favorited me and/or this story. To those who have taken the time to review I extend an especially big thank you. Some of you review as guests and I have been humbled and blown away by your kindness. I wish you would sign in and review so that I could reply to you in person.

To the guest reviewer who wondered if the reference to Danny being a baseball player was a tip of the hat: Sort of. Yes, Scott played baseball when he was young and his dad felt he was good enough to pursue it professionally. However, in Season 1 when Danny had his knee injury (because Scott tore his ACL) he told the doc he originally injured it playing baseball in high school. In eps with his mother, she has mentioned driving Danny to endless baseball games. Therefore, Danny being a baseball player is canon.

A/N Unfamiliar with the phrase Pandora's Box? It originally comes from Greek mythology. Pandora had a box, filled with 8 demons, that she was told not to open. She opened it anyway, unleashing 7 evils into the world. She was able to trap hope back into the box. In modern usage, the phrase "opening Pandora's Box" refers to being in a situation with many complicated problems over which one has very little control and little to no hope.

H50 H50 H50

With Steve at his side, Danny left the grueling PT session exhausted, frustrated, in a great deal of pain and, still dealing with the disturbing news the doctor had given him, in a particularly sullen mood. It was another clear and sunny day in paradise but Danny was walking under a dark cloud. Thoughts crowded his mind - thoughts of pain, loss, life changes, rejection, starting over - problems piling up until they rivaled Mount Everest. Bad things happened to negative people so he was trying, trying damn hard, to remain positive, but looking at his life that was no easy task.

"You okay?" Steve asked as they headed towards his truck, having observed Danny's slow pace and brooding manner. He knew how tough it was to get your hopes up and then have them dashed – repeatedly. He also knew that Danny was a pessimist by nature and oftentimes that worked to his benefit. When he expected the worst to happen he couldn't be surprised or disappointed when the worst did happen. Yet for weeks now, Steve had asked that same question of his pessimistic partner and had received various forms of optimistic responses each time.

This time, though, was very different. The words surged forth like the snow, ice and rock of an avalanche down Mount Everest itself – fast, furious, powerful – gaining speed and strength as they tumbled and plunged, leaving nothing but a barren scar in their wake.

"Am I okay? No, I'm not okay. Have you been paying any attention at all you Neanderthal? I have a wound in my back the size of the freaking Hudson River that's been open for almost a month. A month! That's not normal, Steven. No matter what the hell that moron doctor says; it's not normal to walk around with a frigging 5-inch gaping wound in your back. And it hurts – all the time. Nobody wants to hear it, but every second of every hour, week after week, it hurts. Standing, sitting, moving, resting, hell, even sleeping, it freaking hurts."

Steve turned his head to look at his best friend. Danny's blue eyes were a window to his soul, the most expressive eyes Steve had ever seen. They were usually so full of life. Now he saw misery, desolation and anguish so deep that they cut Steve like a knife. Danny was breathing heavily, face twisted in anger and frustration and gut wrenching pain, but he kept walking and talking and waving his left hand, Steve close by his side.

"But that's not all; no, on top of that, I've got a 'particularly virulent' form of infection running rampant through my body and if we can't keep it under control it could still kill me. Now that's definitely not a thought that helps me sleep at night. And that infection – it wipes me out, just sucks all the energy out of me until I can barely stand, much less function. Not that I can do much of anything anyway. I have to rely on other people to drive me places, to drive my kids, to pick up all the freaking medicine I have to take, to help me cook and clean. I can't even put on normal clothes by myself. Every day I have to ask somebody to come and change the dressings and do the PT."

Steve was ready to cut in and explain that he needn't feel bad about that, but Danny, voice rough with emotion, just kept right on going, barely taking time for a short, shuddering inhale.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm eternally grateful, but it's a debt I will never, ever be able to repay - and that flat out sucks. I don't want to be dependent on other people's generosity, but if I want to see my kids, hell, if I want to live long enough to see my kids grow up, I have to lean on everybody. Not to mention the freaking nerve pain attacks and muscle spasms that can strike at any moment, knocking me flat on my ass. Doesn't matter when or where. My blood pressure is so high that air traffic control needs to track it on radar and then there's the damn headache from hell that won't go away."

Glaring at a man who was staring at them, Steve waited Danny out as they continued through the parking lot. He had wondered when something like this would come, had figured it would happen long before this, but Danny had been holding up really well. In fact, Danny had been holding up better than Steve thought he himself would hold up in a similar situation. The sheer cumulative magnitude of all that his closest friend was undergoing was enormous.

"Oh and don't forget Melissa going all PTSD and walking out on me while I was still in the hospital. How's that for relationship success? And the big bonus? I get to be her frigging therapist by text. What the hell! Maybe I should start a new career; it's not like I can be a cop anymore with only one freaking arm. And now… now I'm gunna lose my son. My son, Steve, the one I just found out is mine. I'm gunna lose him and then I'll have to sell my house and my car to even begin to pay that money that Stan is suing for."

Finally, Danny stopped walking and turned to look at Steve, barely pausing for a breath, ignoring the looks of people passing by pretending they didn't notice him shouting and waving his arm. "Losing everything not enough for you? This arm – who am I fooling? I'm never gunna use it again. You know it. That doctor knows it. Hell, everybody knows it. My mother cries about it all the time. Melissa won't even be in the same room with me, much less look at me. I'll never lift my own son again, Steve; never braid my daughter's hair again. My arm is useless, my dominant hand, my gun hand, my freaking hopeless, right hand – from the shoulder straight down to the tips of my pathetic fingers - completely and utterly useless. Can't even feel a damn… f***ing… thing." As he spoke the last few words he pounded his clenched left fist into his right bicep, landing two vicious blows before Steve could even react.

"Shit Danny," Steve barked as he lunged forward and grabbed his brother's arm before he could swing a third time. "What the hell are you doing?"

Blinded by the overwhelming emotions that had so suddenly consumed him, Danny struggled against Steve's firm grip on his one functioning arm. "Let go of me, you freaking Neanderthal." Danny shouted as they tussled in the parking lot, nosey, gawking onlookers stopping to watch, but not intervening. "Leave me the hell alone."

"Get in the truck, Danny," Steve ordered firmly, as Danny continued to fight his powerful grip. With his right hand firmly grasping Danny's left wrist and his left arm pressed across Danny's chest, Steve physically manhandled Danny towards the truck. He needed to exert strong pressure just to keep Danny's flailing arm under control and he was sure to leave bruises where his fingers grasped his brother's arm.

Adrenaline pumping furiously, Danny would not back down as he grappled with Steve, pushing back with his one useful arm and his legs with no apparent objective other than to fight. "Leave me alone, damnit."

With Danny still fighting doggedly, Steve finally managed to shove him against the side of the truck, pinning him there with force. Upon colliding with the truck, Danny nearly collapsed, panting and trembling from the stress and exertion. Far from recovered from the near fatal injury and exhausted from the doctor visit and PT session, his strength failed quickly as the adrenaline wore off.

Steve could feel his friend begin to crumble. Cautiously releasing Danny's arm, Steve stood protectively in front of him, hands placed squarely on his chest as a means of physical and moral support. He could feel the unnaturally strong and frantic rhythm of Danny's heart, see the red face, hear the heavy breathing, and smell the sweat that soaked his shirt and dripped down his face. This was definitely not what the doctor had in mind when he said to keep the stress level down. Brow furrowed in distress, Steve sighed.

Danny ran his one working, shaking hand over his hair as he struggled to even out his breathing. He closed his eyes, blocking out the blurring images that distorted his vision, but there was nothing he could do to block the cacophony of sounds – leaves rustling, birds chirping, voices murmuring, foot steps crunching, dogs barking, truck engines roaring, car horns blaring, and planes thundering overhead. Steve spoke to him, but Danny's frazzled brain couldn't pull his friend's voice out from the discordant jumble swirling around him.

Danny was visibly vibrating with tension and Steve gave his brother of the heart some time to regain his equilibrium, keeping him upright with the help of one tender, supportive hand firmly placed on his chest and the other now grasping his left bicep. Trying to be as empathetic as possible, Steve tried again, softly. "Danno?"

Beginning to settle a bit, Danny opened his eyes. Ignoring Steve's plea, he wiped his hand across his face before petulantly swiping Steve's hands away. Steve reached up with his right with the intention of grasping the back of Danny's neck and pulling him in for a supportive hug but Danny would have none of that.

"Open the damn truck," Danny begged, his voice now more pleading than angry, pushing Steve away even as his body was shaking from the adrenaline crash and threatening to drop him to his knees. His eyes refused to focus; Steve was a dark silhouette as the parking lot behind him whirled and dipped, colors colliding in a bizarre mosaic. He swayed.

Steve reached out and steadied him again, feeling the tremor through his grip on his arm. His heart ached for his friend and he wanted to hold him, protect him, tell him everything would be all right. But, he didn't want to lie. "Okay pal." Steve acquiesced, opening the truck door and waiting, hovering even, as Danny, shuddering and breathless, slowly and painfully hauled himself inside one-handed.

They drove in silence for a while as Danny continued to tremble and wheeze. Steve waited until Danny seemed to have calmed completely before he spoke. "Feeling better?"

Danny grunted on an exhale. He was outwardly calm now but he held his viciously pounding head in his hand while watery, unfocused eyes stared sightlessly out the window.

"I've been wondering when that would happen." Steve told him in a gentle, supportive tone, belying the fear and trepidation that he truly felt. It took all of his SEAL training to keep himself pulled together. "You've been holding it all in for over a month now buddy and sooner or later it had to find its way out."

A choked gasp was Danny's only reply as he glanced at his best friend, his brother, beside him. There were no more words. He turned back to the window.

His own heart breaking, Steve spoke softly, fighting back the tears that now threatened to spill, a few traitorous strays tickling the corners of his eyes. SEAL training never seemed to matter when it came to Danny. Keeping his eyes firmly on the road, because he knew with one look at Danny he would lose all control of his own emotions, he reached out with his right hand and gripped Danny's strong left shoulder resolutely. "Let's get you home, brother."

Danny remained silent, moving his throbbing, swirling head to lean back against the headrest. He had opened Pandora's Box; evil churned around him, closing in on him, smothering him, burying him alive in a pit of despair. Hope was nowhere in sight.


	52. Chapter 52

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Anybody else wonder why, with all the thousands of names available, H50 keeps using the name Billy? Meka's son is Billy. Danny's best friend who drowned in front of him was Billy. Catherine's ex-boyfriend who she then worked for before he was killed was named Billy. Seriously? A total lack of creativity or something.

H50 H50 H50

After his emotional meltdown outside the medical office, Danny had no choice but to pull himself together and move on. Pull himself up by the bootstraps as his father would say. It was either that or plunge inexorably into that pit of despair he had momentarily found himself in that day. An anxious man by nature, he had to battle his way out of that crater to regain the optimism he had held onto so fiercely since he was so brutally stabbed.

He knew by now who he could lean on for the emotional strength he needed. While there were many people who loved him and cared for him, not all were able to provide the support he truly needed in this prolonged battle. There was the team, of course, his ohana, especially Chin and, even more so, Steve. There was his father and an old friend from Newark, available for limited hours by phone call thousands of miles away, and now there was Mindy. God bless her. She was a balm for Danny's soul and he had no idea how he had gotten so lucky to find her as a friend, but in the midst of this entire trauma, their budding friendship was blossoming.

He was now standing in the backyard of his deceased former partner Meka's home. Meka's widow, Amy, had invited Danny and the kids over for an evening dinner, transportation included since Danny wasn't allowed to drive. Danny had protested that it was too much but she insisted that it was not only not a problem it was actually a joy for her to do this.

They had stayed in touch over the years since Meka's death and Grace and young Billy enjoyed each other's company. Danny had been there for her through everything and Amy appreciated his continued and loyal friendship. Meka had many friends, most he had known much longer than the short time he had known Danny but Danny had been the most steadfast by Amy's side since his murder. When Lou reached out to Amy about helping out with healthy meals when Danny had the kids she jumped at the chance, even more so because this was the first time that Amy and Billy would meet Charlie.

After they spoke a short while, Amy went inside to get them some cold drinks and Grace sat in an old tree house talking with Meka's son Billy.

Charlie had been a bit shy at first but when it was only him and his Danno he relaxed. Holding a tennis ball in one hand he tugged on his father's left hand with his other. "Play catch with me, please Danno," he begged.

"Okay Tiger." Though fatigued, Danny couldn't deny him so he hauled himself out of the chair and onto the grass.

Playing catch with a four year old is always an adventure but Charlie was every bit Danny's son and his inherited baseball skills were already showing. The boy had a good arm and Danny had already begun to teach him the basics of throwing but the boy was young and had no idea of his own strength or that his Danno's injury would affect his ability to catch.

When yet another throw sailed out of Danny's reach, Danny again instinctively reached for it. He gasped and drew his hand back as the ball sailed past him. Taking a moment to collect himself and hold the shoulder closest to his aching back wound, Danny was relieved when Grace and Billy came and began playing with the active preschooler.

Danny settled back into the chair with a groan just as Amy returned from the house with the drinks.

"You know you're supposed to be taking it easy," Amy scolded with a smile. She had watched the action from the kitchen window.

"Of course I know, but I lost three years with him, I don't want to lose more. The kids came to my rescue, though." He smiled as he looked at the three of them playing and laughing.

"You look exhausted Danny. You need to rest." Amy made her point again.

"All I do is rest," Danny sighed defensively. So much had happened in Danny's life in the past month and he had tried to deal with it, tried to cope, tried not to let it get him down, but the bottom line was that Danny was tired and there was nothing he could do about it. The infection and meds made him tired, but the pain and anxiety kept him awake, wearing him down further. Even home all day with nothing to do but rest, sleep was elusive, leaving him physically and emotionally drained. He turned the attention away from his health. "So, how are you doing?"

Amy smiled. "We're doing well. Thinking about high school now."

They spoke cordially for a while about the kids and their futures before Amy asked, "So, how is Melissa?"

Danny sighed and adjusted his arm in the sling, trying to alleviate some of the pain in his back. "It's complicated."

"I guess that means mind my own business," Amy replied.

"No, not at all," Danny countered. He paused a moment and then spoke again. "Do you mind if I ask you a question? If it's out of line or too much…"

"Ask," Amy said.

Danny glanced at the kids, happy that Grace and Billy were taking care of Charlie and allowing him some time with Amy. "How did you do it? How did you get through each day never knowing if that phone call would come?"

"This is about Melissa?" Amy asked in reply. Danny had asked a difficult and personal question and she knew he wouldn't ask it without good reason.

"Yeah. She uh, she's having a hard time dealing with everything. She was married once; he put her in the hospital a couple times."

Amy nodded. "The man who stabbed you. I remember."

"Yeah, well, she kind of came unglued while I was in the hospital this time. Says she can't live like that – terrified every time the phone rings."

"Sounds like she really cares about you."

Danny blew out a heavy sigh. "She hasn't even been over to see me."

"Not at all?"

"Not since I left the hospital. Lots of texts, a bunch of phone calls, but I haven't seen her. I'm so worried about her. I don't know how to help."

"Seems to me that she needs more help than you can provide."

"I've told her that. She doesn't want to hear it. But the thing is, her problems aside, how do you do it? Rachel couldn't handle it, Melissa can't handle it." He sighed again. "Maybe it's me."

"It's not you," Amy said gently, placing a hand tenderly on Danny's. "I found it helped a lot to become friends with other police wives. They understood. They still help me get through the day sometimes," she added with a sniff. Pulling her hand back, she wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you." He was, after all, asking a woman who had received 'that phone call' how you deal with waiting for 'that phone call'.

"No, it's alright. Really. I hope I can help."

Danny nodded in appreciation. "Rachel never made friends with other wives or girlfriends. Melissa, well, she doesn't even know any except Steve's girlfriend. Maybe I should have tried to bring her around more or something."

"Danny, stop doubting yourself," Amy admonished. "I never wanted Meka to worry about me worrying. I didn't want him to have that kind of distraction. If he went into a dangerous situation worried about me at home, his mind wouldn't be on his job the way it should be. So I made a point of never fretting over his job, over him leaving in the middle of the night or messing up a vacation or anything. He didn't need that pressure."

Danny nodded. He knew the kind of pressure she was talking about. Rachel had laid it on him all the time and it definitely was an unwanted distraction.

"Did you ever talk to Rachel or Melissa about your bad days?" Amy asked.

"Some, yeah."

"And?" Amy prompted when Danny didn't continue.

"And, neither one liked to talk about it so I wouldn't do it anymore."

Amy gave a confused grimace. "I tried to be Meka's safe place when he came home troubled. I didn't want him bottling up his emotions."

Danny shook his head. "I talk to Steve and Chin." Matty had always been there for him, too, but that was years ago.

"That's good. Everybody needs a friend to talk to. But, from my experience, and from what my friends say, a cop's wife has to be able to listen too so they can feel like they understand you. They need to appreciate that the job takes a toll on you rather than thinking that all the bad stuff you see never bothers you at all."

Danny's thoughts suddenly turned unbidden to Mindy. She would listen. She would understand. He shook his head. "There's a lot I can't even talk about. So much of what we do can't be discussed."

"You asked me," Amy pointed out. "I'm just telling you. Meka never shared details but he'd share his feelings. Tell me, if you had a bad day, something that really bothered you, what would you do?"

"Nothing. Man up and deal with it."

"If you spoke with Melissa about a bad day what would she do?"

"Tell me to quit. Tell me I was smart and capable and could do so many other things." In it's own way it seemed supportive of him, yet it wasn't. He was a cop and he was good at it and it's what he wanted to do.

"And…?"

"And I'd tell her I didn't want to do anything else. I was a cop and it was just a bad day."

"End of subject?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so talking didn't work. Ever ask Rachel or Melissa for a hug, just so you could relish in the comfort of it?"

"No. They'd know something was wrong and get worried. Like I said, they always worry. They'd go about it differently. I mean, Melissa didn't complain about it the way Rachel did, but…" He stopped, not sure how to continue.

"But, now she won't see you, but texts you all the time." Amy prompted.

"Exactly."

"I'll say it again, it sounds like she needs help getting through this."

"Preaching to the choir, Amy. I wish I could convince her of that. She says she's fine, just needs some space."

Amy shook her head sadly. Melissa was using him. He was there for her, giving her everything he could, that's the way Danny was, but she wasn't there for him. She didn't understand how women like Rachel and Melissa could say they love a man and then be so unsupportive.

"Danno!" they heard Charlie cry out, interrupting the conversation.

Danny rose as quickly as he could from his seat and went to his teary eyed son who was sprawled on the ground. "Hey Tiger, let me see," Danny said as he squatted painfully next to him. Charlie had a small scrape on his knee but was apparently mostly upset from the shock of falling. "Oh my, better check you out. Say aah."

"Aah." Charlie sniffed.

"Say ooh."

"Ooh." A small smile crossed Charlie's lips.

"Say eeh."

"Eeh," Charlie laughed.

"All better?"

"Yep." Charlie nodded, smiling. "I'm thirsty."

"Let's go get you a drink then," Danny said. He was grateful that while Grace picked Charlie up and set him on his feet, Billy reached out a hand to Danny to help him move upright from his squatting position. Meka's little boy was growing into a fine young man.

When they moved to the table, Charlie promptly climbed onto Danny's lap and picked up his drink. Grace and Billy returned to the tree house.

"That was amazing, Dr. Danny," Amy said with a soft laugh.

Danny was still slightly distracted by Charlie in his lap. "I'll leave the doctoring to Mindy."

"Mindy?"

Had he really said that? Danny smiled anyway. He couldn't help himself. "She's a coroner. Works with us when Max is otherwise occupied."

"Most people don't smile like that over a sometimes co-worker," Amy teased. "This have something to do with Melissa?"

"What? No. Mindy's just a friend. She's been there for me through this whole mess. Someone to talk to who's not a Neanderthal."

Amy smiled. It looked to her like Danny really meant that, but she had a feeling Danny was also in denial about her. She wouldn't push him. "I wish I had more answers for you, Danny. You're a good guy. Meka always said so, but he also said you tended to bring your work home with you. This is a tough job for a sensitive man." As if to prove her right, Amy watched Danny kiss the head of his newly discovered son. The boy was obviously already as loved as Grace. "You two have bonded quickly."

Danny looked over his son's head to Amy and smiled broadly. "I love my boy, don't I Tiger?"

"Love you more, Danno," was Charlie's sweet reply as he snuggled into the crook of Danny's one working arm.

Amy grinned at the sight. Danny's heart was big enough for many people. "You take everybody's worries on your shoulders, Danny. You deserve somebody who will help you bear yours."


	53. Chapter 53

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Some police departments allow officers to wear ribbons/awards on their dress uniforms and some do not. I could not find info specifically about the Newark, NJ police department. From what I have read many large northeast US departments allow it. Newark, NJ fits that category so I will go with it. Coming onto the force as a Detective, Danny was never a uniformed HPD officer so I guess that's why he wore his Newark, PD uniform on the show. Since that's what they did in the show I will go with that as well.

A/N (Last one today, I promise) Summer months are crazy busy. Independence Day weekend full of BBQ's, family wedding we must travel for next weekend and in between there's work, having the kids all home and continued shoulder trouble (which has now made me stop playing soccer but has sent me to PT. ugh) If I don't post again by Thursday, it will likely be another week before I can post. Real life gets in the way sometimes. Sorry. On a lighter note, they start filming season 7 next week. Yay. Hope we get some awesome Danny/Steve brotherly bromance.

H50 H50 H50

The man who they had arrested for attacking Danny was being brought before a Grand Jury to determine if there was enough evidence to bring him to trial. Since a large part of the case against him was Danny's own testimony as the investigating officer for the murder and as victim of the knife attack, he was called to testify.

Steve would attend as well, not in any official capacity, but as Danny's best friend.

Getting dressed for the event was problematic from the start. Still incapacitated and in pain, Danny could barely get a shirt on by himself, much less a tie. He was man enough to admit he needed help getting dressed properly. So, his ohana offered their assistance.

When Steve, Chin and Kono arrived at Danny's house, Danny greeted them at the door looking rather disheveled. It wasn't that he was trying to be a mess or that he hadn't taken care of himself. Rather, there were just some things that a man couldn't do one handed, especially when that one hand was not your dominant one and when your back flared with pain at almost every movement.

Danny stood in the doorway, with his right arm hanging unmoving at his side, his hand clenched into a muscle-contracted half fist. His uniform pants were zipped but unbuttoned. His neatly pressed white uniform dress shirt was on but unbuttoned and un-tucked. His shiny dress shoes were on but untied. His uniform jacket was lying on the coffee table but his various ribbons were unattached.

So, while Steve helped Danny button and tuck in his shirt, buckle his belt, tie his shoes, don his tie and get his arm in the sling, Kono and Chin sat in amused silence in Danny's living room trying to figure out where each of Danny's service ribbons was supposed to be placed as Danny's voice filtered in from the other room.

"Don't touch me there."

"Get your hands out of my pants, will ya? You're an animal."

"What do you think you're doing down there?"

"You're gunna choke me to death, you Neanderthal."

Tuning out the bedroom banter of their two teammates Chin and Kono mined the internet for help in the proper placement of the service ribbons. Kono searched for pictures of Danny in his Newark police department uniform, figuring they could simply copy the ribbon placement. There was only one of him in full dress uniform and she was shocked when she saw it. "Oh my goodness, cous," she whispered, her eyes flicking to the hallway leading to where Danny was getting dressed. "Take a look at this."

Chin turned his eyes away from his tablet to look and was just as surprised as Kono. Standing at attention in full dress, Danny looked much younger but awful. The left side of his face was swollen and bruised. The right side didn't look much better. Numerous stitches could be seen on his temple and cheek. His lip was split and swollen beneath two black eyes. His right arm was in a cast and, although he was standing at flawless attention, the pain it was causing him was clearly evident on his brutalized face. "What the hell happened to him?" Chin whispered back.

"Look at the date." Kono pointed. "Just after 9-11. He never said anything."

"Danny talks a lot but doesn't really share much," Chin replied. He then pointed to the screen as well. "Caption says it's the funeral for his partner who was killed in the line of duty and that Danny received a medal of valor. Wow."

"Chin, his partner's name was Grace." Kono's voice was a reverent whisper. Danny's daughter was special to all of them but knowing where she got her name was truly touching.

They heard Danny's voice drift in again. "Oh yeah, that feels so good."

The amusingly out-of-context comment changed the mood and both chuckled at the incongruous levity.

"We better get this uniform done," Chin said, pulling himself away from the tablet, feeling now that they had violated Danny's privacy somehow, even though the information they found was readily available on the internet.

Refocusing his efforts, Chin finally found a website with the information they needed and between that and the photo they got Danny's service ribbons placed properly on his dress uniform jacket.

When Danny was finally fully dressed in his highly decorated uniform, he looked impressively pressed and polished. He was certain to make a good impression on the Grand Jury, even with his right arm strapped tightly to his chest in a sling.

"You sure you're up to this?" Steve asked Danny for the hundredth time.

"Yes, mom, I'll be fine," Danny replied yet again. Although the day of testifying would be tiring and stressful he wasn't about to risk the success of the arrest by backing down.

"I wish there was some other way to do this," Kono said, also for what seemed like the hundredth time. "I'd gladly go and testify instead of you."

Danny sighed.

"I know, I know," Kono went on. "You were the investigating officer and then a victim and some things will be considered hearsay if they don't come from you…" Kono repeated all the reasons that Danny had explained to her about the proper procedure for the successful prosecution of a case.

The three men smiled. "She's learning," Chin said.

Danny nodded his head towards Steve. "Now we just have to work on this Neanderthal."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Danny started. "That means that despite all of my hard work over the last six years - six years Steven - after all that hard work you still don't know proper police procedure."

"I do too."

"Hanging people off roofs and dropping them in shark tanks," Danny prompted.

"That was then. I follow procedure now." At the looks from his three teammates, Steve went on. "I just don't exactly follow it all the time." He paused again, but their looks prompted further comment. "They're just guidelines anyway, not hard and fast rules, right?"

Danny threw his left hand in the air and headed towards the door. "Seriously? I give up. Why do I bother?"

Danny and Steve arrived at the courthouse a full 15 minutes before they were requested to arrive and were then subjected to a much longer wait until it was Danny's turn. Not allowed into the courtroom until he was called, they sat outside in the hallway to pass the time. The wooden bench where they were sitting was uncomfortable at the best of times but it was especially difficult in Danny's condition. They had fallen into a comfortable silence when Danny shifted, arching his back to relieve the pain.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

"Yeah." Danny replied, not very convincingly.

Steve glanced at his watch. They'd been waiting over two hours already. "You're due for your pain meds soon."

"I know." He didn't even have to look at the time to know that. He could feel it. They both also knew that Danny couldn't take any pain meds or muscle relaxers before testifying. They made his brain fuzzy and made him sleepy. He needed to be alert. Danny adjusted his arm in the sling, futilely hoping it would ease the pain in his back.

Suddenly Danny's thoughts turned to the nerve attacks. What if he got one now? What if one started while he was on the stand? They had discussed it with the District Attorney and he assured them that they could work around it, but that wasn't very comforting. It still could happen right there in the courtroom and that would add an entire level of embarrassment to the whole painful and tiring affair.

Pushing the negative thought from his mind, Danny stood up with a growl and began pacing the corridor. It was another half hour of pacing and sitting before he was called. He closed his eyes, took as deep a breath as he could and forced himself not to focus on the pain. Steve straightened Danny's tie.

"I got this, babe," Danny said, as much to assure himself as to assure Steve.

"I know partner."

"Don't call me partner," Danny growled as he pushed past and strode purposefully into the courtroom.

Steve paused for a moment. Danny had been saying that a lot lately. Steve had no idea why, probably in large part due to the fact that he had never asked why. But, he couldn't dwell on that now. He had to get inside the courtroom and be there for his partner – uh, best friend, brother.

Despite the enduring battle with the pain, Danny's testimony was well delivered, his professionalism showing through in spades. He presented the highlights of the investigation and explained the evidence they had against the man in custody. Additionally, despite the severity of his injury and the subsequent infection and related issues, his memory of the attack was crystal clear. While that was a problem many nights when it caused sleep to elude him, it had been a blessing in court.

When the day was over, the suspect was remanded over for full trial for both the murder of the professor they had originally been investigating and for the subsequent attack on Danny when he went undercover as Professor Ben Jeffries.

Thoroughly exhausted and way overdue for not only his pain medicine but his antibiotics and muscle relaxers as well, Danny was in a world of hurt as they finally made their way to the parking garage and into Steve's truck where he finally was able to take the needed medicine.

"You did good in there," Steve told him as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"Just basic police work," Danny mumbled tiredly in reply.

"Without you, he would have walked, partner." Steve used the term purposely to bait him and waited for the response. Nothing happened. Not a word. He looked to his right.

Danny was sound asleep and they had yet to even make it to the highway.


	54. Chapter 54

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N A huge thank you to Julieb716 who beta'd this and the following few related chapters. Her encouragement and suggestions were greatly appreciated and were an excellent contribution to the final product. I hope everybody enjoys. Still, all mistakes are mine.

H50 H50 H50

Holding to her promise to add her name to Lou's list of people making dinner for Danny many times, Mindy had made a delicious dinner for Danny and the kids one night. She dropped the food off and left, not wanting to intrude on their family time.

Tonight Danny would not have the kids with him so Danny asked her to join him as she had the first time. Upon mutual discussion Steve was invited to join them as well. There were numerous reasons for his inclusion, among them being Steve's numerous evening visits to put Danny through the bandage changes, and muscle stretches and massages he needed to maintain mobility. Danny was so appreciative that Steve went out of his way for him each evening while still needing to handle his own household chores. Additionally, for some reason that Danny couldn't explain and wouldn't admit out loud, he wanted Mindy and Steve to become better acquainted.

"No, no, no, no, no," Danny pleaded with a laugh as Mindy reached into the bag. "I have enough doctor visits already. Don't need an endocrinologist added to the list."

"It wasn't that bad," Mindy rebutted with laughter of her own, eyes locked on Danny's, hand still in the bag, keeping its contents hidden. She knew he was joking about the non-alcoholic wine she had brought the first time she cooked for him. It was basically nothing other than grape juice – very sweet grape juice at that. They had joked about it and had a good laugh.

"Somebody want to tell me what the joke is?" Steve asked, feeling a bit of an outsider. He didn't think he had ever felt like that around Danny before. He always knew more about Danny than anybody else.

"Yes, it was," Danny countered, unintentionally ignoring Steve's request as he moved towards Mindy with a cheery grin. He made to reach into the bag. "Hand it over. I'm going to dump it right down the drain."

Steve watched in delighted awe as a laughing Danny reached into the bag where Mindy's hand was already placed. Mindy laughed harder and with both of their hands in the bag they "wrestled" a bit and actually picked the bag up off the counter where it subsequently slipped to the floor leaving the two of them holding the same bottle.

Danny looked at the bottle, still laughing. "Cabernet."

"You said you didn't mind if we drank without you and I swore I'd never buy that fake stuff again," Mindy said.

"Thank you. Diabetes in a bottle is not a good way to go." They were both still clutching the bottle, hands not quite touching, just smiling at each other.

"You prefer your diabetes in a box, buddy?" Steve threw in, catching on to the joke now.

Sky blue eyes sparkled with mirth as he glanced at Steve and then back at Mindy, his smile growing even wider. "Are there malasadas in that box?" He winked at Mindy, wordlessly released his hold on the bottle and went to get wine glasses while in perfect unison Mindy opened a drawer and pulled out the corkscrew.

Steve was pleased to see Danny so happy and got a kick out of how comfortable he was with Mindy. He never would have imagined it. The only other time he had seen them together was at work where they were both ultimate professionals, but seeing them now, their ease in each other's company seemed so natural. "I was thinking Cocoa Puffs," Steve said, knowing Danny liked them even more than malasadas.

"Even better," Danny said as if to prove how well Steve knew him. "I'll take the box." Pointing at Mindy, he added. "That non-alcoholic wine should be banned." Grabbing two wine glasses with his one working hand, he moved to set them on the table.

"Sorry, my friend, you'll have to settle for water," Mindy said as she popped the cork out of the wine bottle and began to pour. "Maybe the Cavatelli and Broccoli will make up for it."

Danny groaned in pleasure, much to Steve's amusement. "I'm in heaven." He turned to the cabinet to get water glasses. "I'm telling you Steven, if we ever run out of dead bodies to cut up, Mindy here could make a killing as a chef." He placed one glass on the table and turned back to get a second one.

Falling into the rhythm of the kitchen now, Steve circled the table and headed to the refrigerator to pull out the pitcher of water. "That good, huh?"

"You are in for a special treat, babe," Danny assured him as he placed the third glass on the table and then tiredly leaned back against the counter for a moment's respite.

"I've only cooked for you twice Danny," Mindy said, a pleased grin on her face as she placed the bottle on the table and reached to open the insulated fabric food carrier sitting next to it.

"That was all the evidence I need," Danny replied, removing the carrier from the table as Mindy lifted the dish.

"He's a very good detective," Steve threw in with a grin as he finished filling the water glasses.

"Whoa, a compliment from the Neanderthal."

Freshly released from the confines of the carrier, the aroma from the dish now wafted into the air. Steve took a long inhale. "And that's the only supporting evidence I need. Smells incredible." He gently thumped Danny on his good arm. "Thanks for thinking of me, pal."

Dinner proved just as delicious as Danny had predicted and conversation flowed easily and was filled with laughter. Danny told all of the details of Grace's and Charlie's past week and his joy and pride in his two children was shared by his two friends. They discussed Danny's arm and his confidence that he would regain use of it despite no apparent evidence to support such conviction.

Then Mindy's inquisitive nature led Steve to steer the conversation towards how he and Danny became friends. He began by telling how they faced each other down, guns drawn, in Steve's father's garage. He told how he then accepted leadership of this new task force in part, he admitted, to knock the brash detective down a peg. He continued with the story explaining how Danny, despite having just been shot, managed to save Steve's life and the life of a hostage with an excellent shot that felled the bad guy. Enjoying the food tremendously, but not able to eat quickly, Danny allowed Steve to tell the story, only interjecting to support Steve's premise that the two of them really did not like each other at the start.

Steve then told about their very physical confrontation after finding the scared young woman being held captive.

"Wait a second," Mindy interrupted. "Are you telling me that the two of you actually had a fist fight?"

"Well, sort of. He used his fist, I didn't," Steve defended with a laugh and a pointing finger, not reminding Mindy that he had provoked the attack by questioning Danny's resolve and putting him in an arm lock.

"I hate you so much right now," Danny retorted with a grin.

"Have you ever hit each other again?" Mindy asked.

"No, but I've been tempted," both men answered at the same time. The depth and sincerity of the look that was then exchanged between the two men was not lost on Mindy. It was obvious to her that the friendship between these two strong willed, alpha males was forged in iron.

She was soon to witness that bond being threatened from within.

"Oh hey, Danny," Steve said as they were finishing up the meal. "I found this resort out on Maui. They're running a relationship seminar that will count as all of our counseling hours for the entire year. We won't have to go sit in those stupid sessions once a month."

"Counseling?" Mindy asked as Danny's mood began to shift. This was not something he wanted to discuss in front of Mindy. It was bad enough that Steve wouldn't stop calling him partner, but to continue this counseling? To go on a partnership weekend? That was just too much.

"Yeah," Steve answered, oblivious to Danny's growing agitation. "HPD requires all partners to undergo a set number of hours of counseling each year."

Unable to hold his emotions in check any longer, Danny virtually exploded, rising from his seat as he spoke. "What the he..," Danny caught himself and changed the word. "…heck is wrong with you? Partners? Partners? Try and get it through that thick skull of yours. We are not partners."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Steve growled in reply, confused, coming to his feet as well.

"How many times do I have to explain myself, huh? Huh? We are not partners. Haven't been partners for a long time."

"Damn it, Danny. Five minutes ago you were completely sure that you were getting use of your arm…"

"This is not about my arm. Stop looking at my arm and look at me," Danny shouted back. Repeating strongly, "Look at me."

"Yeah, I'm looking," Steve snarled as he began to move around the table.

Now it was Mindy's turn to stand as she held up both hands to ward off a physical confrontation. "Whoa, whoa, hold on there." That got their attention. "I don't know what's going on here but I think you two both need a moment."

They both quieted, Danny still looking agitated, Steve perplexed.

She pointed to Danny. "Obviously something is bothering you and you can't let it fester any longer. You need to talk." She could sense Danny's tension and knew his tendency to let his mouth move faster than his brain sometimes. "Talk," she emphasized again. She also recalled Danny having asked Steve before to stop referring to them as partners so it appeared that Steve wasn't taking this issue seriously. "And you," she pointed to Steve, "need to listen."

Deflating quickly under the chastisement, both men remained silent and still, each regaining control of quickly frayed emotions.

Blood pressure rising from the stress, Danny faltered slightly and he grabbed onto the edge of the table as Steve quickly moved to his side to support him. "Danno?"

"I'm fine," Danny mumbled.

"You two look like you could use some fresh air. I'll clean up in here," Mindy suggested.

Silently relenting, Steve followed Danny out the door ready to help him if he needed it. He knew that Danny was still battling the infection and still struggling with the pain and fatigue and stress. He saw no reason to discuss this now. It was nonsense. They were partners and that was that; but Danny was doing as Mindy suggested so he felt compelled to do the same. With a roll of his eyes, Steve closed the sliding doors behind them, ready to wait out Danny's rant about no longer being partners.


	55. Chapter 55

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I'm glad that so many of you like Danny & Mindy (Dandy) I really enjoy writing them and since we haven't seen too much of them on screen, I get a pretty blank canvas to work on. I really hope that we see official Dandy on screen this season (bye bye Danberlisa). To those of you who have been patiently waiting for the 'partner talk', the next few chapters are for you. I hope they don't disappoint you.

H50 H50 H50

With a soft groan, Danny eased himself into one of the deck chairs on the lanai behind his house. He didn't have a view like Steve did or even much of a yard but it was his. After losing everything in the divorce and spending his last dollar to relocate to this pineapple infested hell-hole, he had worked hard for every inch of it, saving every penny he could, even living in a series of crappy little apartments to save enough money to buy this place. Grace and Charlie had a clean, safe place to live when they were with him; that's what mattered. It was small, but it was enough.

Steve didn't ask again if Danny was okay. He was obviously hurting but knew he would only get another 'I'm fine' in return if he asked. He eyed the small backyard and remembered that Danny had intended to build a swing set with a climbing wall and a tree house for Charlie. He'd most definitely need help with that now. He sighed again, then looked at Danny sitting uncomfortably in the deck chair.

"You told the therapist that you just don't listen to me. You thought you were being funny but I think it's really the truth," Danny said quietly.

"Danny…"

"I talk, you listen, remember?" Danny asked with a short-lived smile.

Steve glanced back at the house where Mindy was washing dishes, leaving them alone so they could iron out their problem. He sat down next to Danny. "I'll listen. Just try to keep the word total to under a million."

"You're really funny, you know that?" Danny was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "You've never had a partner before. That's not the way the SEALs work. You've had a team and you're a great leader, but never a partner before."

"I think we make great partners. Especially once we got past the fist fight," Steve said with a smile, nudging Danny lightly with his shoulder.

"We did."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Partners have each other's backs all the time."

"Yeah, we do," Steve said, confused where this was going.

"They're responsible for each other every time they go out the door."

"You think I don't have your back?" Steve asked.

"I don't have yours - not all the time," Danny said softly, dejectedly.

Steve was totally confused by this. "Danny, I trust you with my life. Completely. There's nobody I trust more. Nobody I've ever trusted more." Danny had saved his life the first day they met when he didn't even like Steve.

"You're not getting it. I cannot have your back when I'm not out there with you."

"Danny, your arm…"

"… has nothing to do with this. Get it through that thick skull of yours – stop looking at my arm and look at me. " Danny's voice was rising now. "This has nothing to do with this… temporary inconvenience." He flicked his sling-encased arm with his left hand.

Steve smiled fondly at Danny's new and unique way to refer to his injury - always creatively verbose. "Then what are you getting at?"

Danny hauled in a calming breath and let it out slowly. "Over the past year, how many times have you gone out in the field?"

"I don't know. That's an impossible number to come up with."

"Okay, I'll rephrase. Over the past year how many times have you gone out in the field with me?"

Steve shrugged. "Again, how can I give you a number?"

"What percentage of the time was with me?" Danny clarified even further, fighting the urge to growl. He was getting nowhere.

"Most of the time," Steve replied with a confused shrug, although he really had no idea. He'd never thought about it.

Danny could see that Steve really didn't know how often he went off without him. He tried a different approach. "Lou ever call you partner?"

Steve started to shake his head and deny it but then stopped. It was true; Lou has called him partner. His reply was antagonistic. "Are you jealous of Lou or something?"

Danny growled as he levered himself out of the chair and began to pace. Sitting still was never easy for him, especially when he was agitated. "No, I'm not jealous of Lou." He stopped moving, facing where that swing set should go.

"He's a good cop," Steve said.

"I agree."

"And you agreed to bringing him onto the team."

"Yes, I did."

"Then what the hell is the problem?" Steve shouted, jumping out of his chair.

"What the hell is the problem? The problem is, I can't have your back if I'm stuck in the office doing paperwork," Danny shouted back at him, turning back to face him now. He held up his left hand to forestall Steve's interruption. "Nor can I have your back if I'm in the field with Chin or Kono or Lou."

"We're a team, Danny."

"Precisely. Give the Neanderthal a gold star. But this," he waved his hand back and forth between them, "is not a partnership. Not anymore. You are the best damned friend I've ever had but when you leave me behind half the time you go out in the field you have no right to call me partner. I've had many partners in my career, some better than others but at least I knew that when my partner was in trouble I could do something about it. I can't have your back if I'm not there. I failed Grace, horribly but I was there. Meka… Meka…" Danny stumbled to a stop.

Steve wouldn't get into what happened to his deceased partner Grace right now. They'd been over it before. Danny had taken point; Grace was his back up. She had failed to watch their backs, literally, and it cost her her life. Danny had done what he could to protect her, but it wasn't enough and her failure had put him in the hospital and nearly cost him his life as well. It was not his fault but he couldn't shake the feelings of guilt. As always, Danny was loyal to a fault.

But Meka? Then it struck Steve. "When you came to 5-0 you left Meka without a partner. Danny, what happened to him wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't it? In a way, I mean. If I was there would they have been able to pin all that stuff on him? Set him up like that? Wouldn't have been so easy if his partner had his back, would it? Huh?" Danny moved back to where Steve was standing. His tone was softer now. "You've built a great team Steve, but the word 'partner' apparently means something different to you than it does to me."

"Wow." Steve was speechless. Danny was a sensitive soul; he realized that shortly after meeting him, but he never realized how much this simple label meant to him. He had torn Danny away from his partner Meka and made him his own partner, just because he could. It hadn't really meant anything to Steve at the time, just a means to the end of finding his father's killer; a half hour ago he had even admitted he did it partly to annoy Danny. The word partner was just that, a word. But it had meant so much more to Danny and he never knew. And now… "Wow."

"Aren't you the loquacious one?" Danny snarked.

They stood there in silence for a few minutes, looking out into the night, side by side. "I don't quite know what to do with this Danny. Even when I'm with Lou or Chin or Kono I always think of you as my partner."

"I know. But thinking something doesn't make it reality, Steven,"

"What about all that stuff you said about my being your best partner?"

"I meant it. It's true. But that doesn't change the fact that we aren't really partners anymore."

"You're talking semantics, Danny."

"Semantics? Semantics?" Danny huffed out a sigh. "You just don't get it."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Steve asked, with a small grin, still not quite sure what to do or say here.

"You are a Neanderthal, you know that?" Danny said, turning away.

"No. Really. This is not like a marriage. Going to interview a suspect with somebody else is not like cheating on your wife."

"Don't even go there, Steven."

Steve grabbed Danny's good shoulder and turned them both to face each other again. "No. I listened to you; now hear me out. When I go someplace with Lou I don't introduce him as my partner. He's a teammate who happens to be with me at the moment. It sucks that sometimes, many times, you're not with me. Along with being my partner," he held up his hand to forestall an interruption, "you are also the second in command, and a very good one, the best in fact. Sometimes you're most needed being that 2IC."

Danny heaved another sigh. What Steve was saying made some sense, but it still didn't feel right - and his back was beginning to tingle. Damn.

"Look," Steve went on, "there is never a moment when I don't consider you my partner. Since I hauled you out of that hell-hole of an apartment the day we met it has only been you."

"You make it sound like some cheesy 80's love song." Danny gingerly eased himself back down into a chair. He was tired and his back was on fire but he tried not to let it show.

Steve couldn't help chuckling at his best friend's snarky comment and he sat down next to him. "Maybe it's time we redefine the word partner."

Danny's breath caught as the nerve attack flared through him. It wasn't the time for this. He decided he'd just ignore the nerve pain, forcing the words out through the miasma of painful shocks. "Yeah sure, what the hell."

Steve noticed the change in Danny's breathing, the white knuckled grip on the arm of the chair and he could decipher the signs immediately.

Danny forced more words out through clenched teeth. "I've already redefined what it means to be a father and a brother, what's one more?"

Steve could tell that the nerve attack was getting worse so he finally spoke up. "Danny, we can talk about this later."

Danny ignored him again, this was important, his voice a strained rasp. "You're always telling me I'm sensitive…"

Steve wasn't going to pursue the conversation any longer. Danny was tough and fighting through the pain but there was no reason for him to have to try and carry on this very important, very emotional conversation while he endured it. "Danny, I know you're hurting right now so I'm going to leave you be. We'll table this for later. I'll be right inside if you need me." Leaving tore at him. He knew that if he stayed Danny would keep trying to talk through it but he also knew that these episodes were easier for Danny when he was left alone.

Danny's lack of objection was telling.

Resisting the temptation to give his brother tactile support that would satisfy Steve but only serve to exacerbate Danny's misery, Steve rose from the chair and stepped away. Walking away and leaving his partner in pain, even if it was temporary and necessary, was in its own way, one of the most difficult things he had ever done.


	56. Chapter 56

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I had a decision to make: reply to the reviews from the last chapter or post the next one. It's been a crazy, busy summer so far and I won't have access to my pc for a week after this so I chose to post. Please accept my apologies for not replying personally to each review as I usually do. A huge, humble thank you to all of you who follow and favorite this story and especially to those who take the time to review. Each one touches my heart and it truly helps me to know what you want and enjoy so I can write more. For example, here's some more Mindy.

H50 H50 H50

With one more glance back at his beleaguered partner, Steve slid the door open and re-entered the dining room. "Coffee's on," Mindy called pertly from the kitchen. "Decaf just for you, Danny."

"It's just me," Steve said as he entered the kitchen from the dining room.

Mindy eyed him speculatively. He looked drained, maybe even a bit teary eyed. She glanced over his shoulder, instinctively confirming Danny wasn't there. "You didn't kill him, did you?" She gave a soft smile.

Steve smiled at that, despite his heavy heart. She had something of Danny's sense of humor and it was like a balm for his soul right now. "He's having one of those f***ing nerve attacks. Timing sucks." He turned and headed back to the dining room so he could keep an eye on Danny through the glass.

"Nerve attacks?" Mindy asked as she followed. Danny hadn't mentioned those to her.

Steve explained what would happen when Danny had one. Being a doctor, Mindy caught on very quickly. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. She could imagine how awful those attacks were, how much they would drain Danny. "Have you resolved things?"

"Not really, no. I saw him struggling and he kept talking but I knew what was happening. Had to put it on hold." He stared through the glass door for a while, Mindy by his side. He turned away finally. "I hate watching him suffer like that."

As they spoke they both turned and sat down in chairs at the dining room table. They could keep an eye on Danny from here in case he needed them without making a spectacle out of his pain.

Mindy nodded. She had never had to witness one before and couldn't really see what was going on now, but she could see how it affected Steve. "You're a good friend."

"He's a good friend. He's always there for me."

Mindy smiled. "I can imagine. Danny was there for me when he barely knew me." She then proceeded to tell Steve how Danny had come back one day to ask if she was okay and to inquire about who their victim reminded her of. His kindness and empathy, as well as his detective's intuition, had shown from the start.

"Sounds like Danny," Steve agreed when she finished. He hesitated a moment. "Did he ever mention this partner thing to you?" He was still trying to get a good handle on it.

"Only once, vaguely," Mindy replied. "The first time I brought him dinner you called while I was here and apparently called him partner. I asked him why he told you to stop calling him that. I thought it was because of his arm but he said there were five of you on the team now and it wasn't fair to Lou."

"He says he's not jealous of Lou. He says it's not because of his arm. I don't know what his problem is."

"I don't think he's jealous of Lou. I…" Mindy stopped herself from going further, feeling it really wasn't her place to speculate.

Steve leaned forward on the table eagerly. "No, don't stop, please. If you have any insights it would really help. I don't know what the hell he's thinking."

She hesitated only a moment before nodding in agreement. "I'm not sure how helpful it is. I just… I don't know. I think that deep in his heart you will always be his partner and I feel like he doesn't really know why he's feeling this way. He's struggling right now. Everything has been upended but he's fighting so hard to remain positive."

"Yeah, he's surprised me with that. He's kind of a hypochondriac and chronic complainer."

Mindy nodded and added another insight. "He has a lot of anxieties and he battles them constantly. But I got the impression that the dynamics of the team were shifting even before this injury, when he was still healthy." She wasn't sure how that helped but she was trying.

Steve looked out the window again at his suffering partner. What Mindy just said was true. Things had changed. The team had grown and the four others had all learned a great deal about investigations from Danny, the only true detective on the team. Despite the changes, however, he couldn't stop thinking of him as his partner. He didn't want to stop thinking of him as his partner. They knew each other so well. "Danny's not big on change."

"Yet, in the last seven years everything has changed for him," Mindy pointed out. "The divorce, the move, leaving everybody and everything behind, his dog dying, new job, new partner, new apartment, then another new job and another new partner and more places to live, then losing his brother, and this custody battle over Charlie." Mindy didn't know exactly what had happened three years ago between Danny and Rachel but she knew that Danny only recently discovered that Charlie was his, and now might lose him.

"And Charlie's illness and now this freaking injury." Steve added, understanding dawning. "He can't work. He can't drive. He can't lift his son. He can barely breathe, thinking he might lose him yet it's out of his hands."

Mindy nodded. Rachel filing for full custody of Charlie was like another knife in the back for him. But, his troubles didn't end there. There were many other difficulties he was facing as well. "And at home, cooking, laundry, everything is a problem," Mindy added.

Steve also thought about how complicated things were right now between Danny and Melissa, but he wasn't about to touch on that with Mindy. "He's worked so hard at staying positive about using his arm again but he really has no control over it." Steve was excited as the thoughts began to fit together. They were brainstorming like he and Danny often did on a case and he loved it. Maybe the two of them could actually make sense of this.

"He must feel like he has no control over anything in his life," Mindy agreed. They both looked out the window again.

"So, maybe this partner thing is like a coping mechanism of some sort."

"Sounds like something a counselor would say," Mindy agreed with a grin.

"He can't control what will happen with his arm or his career or his kids or much of anything right now. But somehow in that crazy head of his he thinks that if we don't use the word partner then not being my partner anymore is somehow his choice and not another load of bad luck dumped on his back. Does that make any sense? As much as anything makes sense with Danny anyway," Steve added with a soft laugh and shake of his head.

"Yeah, I guess it kind of does," Mindy replied.

If I stopped calling him partner would it somehow help him feel more in control? Steve mused silently.

They sat there in silence now. They had, possibly, figured out what was driving Danny but the question now was what to do with it. Danny had enough trouble, enough stress right now. He really didn't need this on top of everything else, but he had been the one to bring it to the table and so now they had to deal with it the best they could.

Steve got up and looked out at his partner again through the glass. Nothing had changed. Danny would be wiped out after this long, brutal attack. He heaved a hearty sigh. "I don't think I can ever stop thinking of him as my partner," he told Mindy, his back to her as his eyes remained on Danny's struggling form. He then turned back to her. "Thank you Mindy." It was the first time he had ever addressed her by her given name, but given the conversation they just had, it seemed appropriate. She was so easy to converse with. He wouldn't mind getting to know her better himself.

"You're welcome, Steve." She now used his given name for the first time as well. "I hope it helps. How long do they last?" Mindy now asked as she moved next to Steve and gazed upon their ailing friend.

Steve puffed out a sigh. "It varies. Fifteen minutes. An hour."

"An hour?" Mindy was stunned.

"Been well over a half hour already," Steve told her without even checking the time. He'd been keeping track all along.

"I feel so helpless. Are you sure we shouldn't go out and help him through this?"

"I'm sure. Best thing for him is to be left alone." Steve hated it.

"I can't just watch."

"We could do the dishes," Steve suggested, smiling and bumping her gently.

"Done."

"Clean the kitchen?"

"Done." She had needed to do something while the men were talking earlier.

"And the coffee is ready, too. You were busy." He smiled. He really liked Mindy. "You know, Chin asked me to check and see what medicine and supplies we needed." He nodded his head towards the kitchen and headed that way. "The meds are up in a cabinet out of the kids' reach. Kind of tough for Danny to reach them the way he's feeling but he won't have it any other way."

It only took a few minutes to go through the medicine bottles and text the prescription numbers to Chin for refills. Another few minutes to check the bandages and things. Then the pair went back once again to check on Danny, sadly seeing no change. This was a bad one. They stood there a moment, unsure what to do next. "Hey look, you're probably tired," Steve finally said. "Why don't you go home and get some rest. I'll stay with Danny."

"No," Mindy answered strongly, shaking her head vehemently. "No way can I leave until I know he's okay. You can go if you want. I'm staying." She crossed her arms adamantly and looked him right in the eye.

"I'm not going anywhere," Steve replied. He admired her loyalty; it reminded him of Danny's. They stood there awkwardly for a moment wondering how you fill time in a friend's house while he's outside battling unrelenting pain.

"Mind if I ask a question?" Mindy asked.

"Sure."

"Why do you call him Danno?"

Steve smiled. "Have you met his kids yet?"

Yet. Mindy liked the sound of that. "No."

"They call him Danno. It was Grace's thing when she was little. Rachel calls him Daniel and Grace tried to copy it. Danno came out instead and it stuck."

Mindy laughed. "That explains why the kids say it, but you?"

Steve laughed with a gleam in his eye. "I say it because it annoys the hell out of him. Well, it used to anyway. He eventually told me he kind of likes it. Took all the fun out of it, but by that time it was a habit."

"So he got the last laugh," Mindy observed.

"Yeah," Steve said laughing, then sobered a bit. "Partner is one thing, but if he ever asked me to stop calling him Danno now… I mean really asked me… Whenever he's angry at me, which is most of the time, he tells me to stop calling him Danno."

"Do you two ever do anything not designed to annoy each other?" Mindy asked with a laugh. This was most certainly a very unique friendship that Danny and Steve had.

Steve smirked. "Not often."

Falling into silence again, Steve stepped over to the end of the dining room table where Danny had his laptop and various papers and files about Gabriel. With Eric staying with him he didn't have a spare room to use as an office so he set up shop on the only available flat surface large enough to organize everything. He glanced at Danny's copious notes. Looked like he was making sense of the disparate information. He nodded, impressed. He thought of how Lou said Danny was the brains and Steve was the brawn, and he smiled.

Mindy wandered around the dining room and living room a bit, looking at photos on the wall and pictures and gifts that the kids had made. "Did you see these?" she asked, picking up the pile of handmade cards that Grace's class had made.

"The ones from Gracie's class? Yeah."

"They're so sweet." Mindy pointed to the photo album that Danny had shown her the other time she made dinner for him. "I loved the photo album, too."

Steve looked. He had seen it sitting there before but never looked through it. He grinned. "Baby Danno photos?"

Mindy smiled at his goofy grin. "No naked baby in the bathtub shots if that's what you're wondering," she answered with a wink.

Steve laughed. She had such a sweet fun nature, yet was so smart and beautiful. "Anything remotely blackmail material?"

"No, just lots of memories. Come, I'll show you what I remember." So, they sat down side by side and began to look through Danny's pictures.

Steve had never seen childhood pictures of Danny. There were none hanging on his walls at home and Steve had never looked at the album before. Now he was intrigued. The blond haired, blue eyed smiling boy wearing a baseball uniform was instantaneously recognizable. The dark haired boy next to him was not.

"Billy," Steve said softly, placing his hand on the photo after Mindy mentioned the name. He had never seen a picture of him before yet somehow he seemed familiar. He felt a little niggle of jealousy when he saw picture after picture of the obviously inseparable friends. Yet, something had separated them.

They looked at more pictures. Steve recognized Matt and their parents and Mindy pointed out their sisters. There were other friends, too but Mindy didn't remember all the names. There were many more with Billy and big smiles; and then he was gone. Steve felt the loss. He could actually see the effect the loss had on Danny. "They were just kids," Steve whispered. He had known that. Danny had told him everything, but actually seeing it was another story. Made it so real, so raw. "Too damn young."

Steve thought about his partner again. So much loss. So much pain. And now this. He only hoped he could help his best friend heal – physically and emotionally. He wanted - no needed - his partner back.

H50

A/N I know. A whole chapter without Danny in it. I'm sorry, but Steve and Mindy just wouldn't stop talking. At least they were talking about him. I promise Danny will be back in the next chapter.


	57. Chapter 57

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Sorry it's been so long between posts but, as I warned in the last chapter, I was away from my pc. I hope you like this installment of the 'partner story arc.'

H50 H50 H50

While Steve and Mindy conversed inside the house, outside in the deck chair Danny struggled against the inexorable pain. Tendrils of fire seemed to scorch his back, burning red-hot flares into the skin, up then down then around and around in vicious circles. The jolts came from deep within and shot their way to the surface but never seemed to leave; they'd just linger there sizzling and sputtering as the next one joined in the unrelenting assault.

He tried to focus his thoughts on something pleasant to help him ride out the pain, but that had never worked before and it didn't work now. No mind games could come close to relieving the relentless agony. His main focus was on breathing. Pull a breath in, force it out. Pull in, force out.

The dizziness came next. Whether it was from the pain or the lack of oxygen he wasn't sure, but the dizziness was as sure to come as the pain, the fire and the electric jolts. Between erratic breaths he focused on staying upright in the chair, though it seemed as unstable as a carnival ride.

The nausea followed, this time much worse than usual. He wasn't sure what caused it, but it didn't really matter. It was there; bile rising in his throat, making him gag and retch as he hopelessly fought his body's urge to bring his dinner back up through his throat. He had never actually vomited during a nerve attack before but now he did, dumping the contents of his stomach at his feet in his own back yard right next to where he had planned to build a swing set for Charlie last weekend. Acid scorched his throat as several rounds of vomiting completely emptied his stomach, followed by several rounds of equally exhausting but naturally unproductive dry heaves.

The headache surrounded it all, furrowed and burrowed under it, stomped and clomped over it, buried itself inside it. It was an all encompassing physical assault that left him pale, sweating, hurting and trembling in its wake.

When the nerve attack finally, mercifully released its stubborn grip, Danny was shaking and exhausted and drenched in sweat. Utterly dazed, he sat in the chair for a while composing himself. At first, he couldn't remember how he ended up out there. As time passed, his head began to clear and then it came to him: dinner with Mindy and Steve and the argument over use of the word partner. Why did Steve insist on calling him partner? More importantly, why did he keep insisting that Steve stop? He really didn't know.

It was quiet and nobody came to check on him. He wouldn't have blamed Steve and Mindy if they had gone home. He didn't know exactly how long he had been out here but he noted that it was fully dark out now so it must have been a while. He pushed to his feet and turned towards the door. His head spun and his vision grayed, rocking him in place and knocking him right back into the chair he had just left, his breathing heavy from the futile effort.

Despite the heat that seemed to burn inside his body, he shivered slightly in the evening air. His shirt was soaked and as he ran his hand through his hair he found that wet as well. He wiped his face with his sleeve and wondered vaguely if somebody had turned the sprinklers on or doused him with a hose. No, he knew it was sweat. He could smell it. He felt disgusting, washed out, done in.

Finally feeling like he could move, he rose unsteadily from the chair, taking several long minutes just to regain enough equilibrium to stand unaided and surefooted. Turning slowly, and cautiously avoiding the puddle of puke, he began to trudge towards the house, eyes set on the patio door. Grabbing the handle he paused a moment, his head resting on the cool glass, needing to muster the strength it took just to pull it open.

Steve and Mindy were sitting side by side on the sofa looking through Danny's photo album when they heard the door opening. Quickly depositing the album on the coffee table they were on their feet and into the dining room by the time Danny managed to haul his weary body over the threshold.

Reminding himself not to use the word partner, Steve spoke. "Hey buddy, how ya feelin'?"

"Jus' peachy." Nearly blinded by the lights in the room, he reached for the back of the closest chair and with a shaky hand attempted to pull it out so he could sit. He couldn't make it any farther on his feet right now.

The sarcastic reply was not surprising but what caught Steve off guard was just how unsteady Danny was and the fact that his fastidious partner had left the door wide open. Both eyes locked on his trembling friend, Steve hurried around the table and moved the chair so Danny could sit down as Mindy tugged the door shut behind him.

"That was a bad one, huh, D?" Steve asked, settling into the chair next to him, his hand placed as a comfort on Danny's sweat soaked shirtsleeve. Danny was visibly vibrating with pain and exhaustion.

"Make it a ten on the Richter scale," he rasped in reply.

Quickly assessing the situation Mindy had set off to the kitchen and now returned with a couple of cool, wet cloths and a glass of water. She placed the glass on the table, handed one cloth to Danny and, having rolled another one up, she placed it around his sweaty neck, carefully tucking it under his already soaked collar. "Maybe this will help you feel better."

Exhaling in relief Danny leaned his face forward into the wet towel in his quivering left hand as his elbow rested on the table. "Thanks," he mumbled softly into the towel as he wiped his mouth. He lifted his head to look at them and when the room swirled he wavered in the chair.

"Take it easy Danno. Give it a minute," Steve said while grounding him with his touch.

A couple minutes later, feeling more stable, Danny took a sip of the water. He longed to rinse the foul taste from his mouth but he had nowhere to expel the liquid so he settled for another swallow. He looked at the clock but he couldn't focus enough to read it. "How long was I out there?"

Steve hesitated and glanced at Mindy who nodded. "Over an hour," he said simply.

"Sorry for screwing up the evening." Picking up the cool damp cloth again he wiped it down his sweaty chest where it was exposed between shirt and sling.

Mindy was lost for a moment as she watched him wipe the cloth on his chest. "You're sorry?" That's all she remembered hearing, her attention diverted momentarily.

"You made this excellent dinner, Steve got all dressed up in clean cargoes…" It took all his energy to say those few words and he let the sentence falter on his lips.

"No apology necessary, Danny," Mindy assured him. "Steve was going to show me how to help with the dressings and the PT, but I don't know…."

"Let's get to it," Danny said. "If it's not too late for you," he said to them both.

Both nodded their agreement to stay as Steve spoke while rising from his chair. "Changing the dressings is a must but it's okay to skip the PT one day."

Danny shook his head. "Don't want to skip." He shakily rose to his feet next to Steve.

"Danny, you're wiped out," Steve argued.

"I'm fine," Danny growled back, reeling in place.

Steve reached out and grabbed his arm to steady him. "You can barely stand up."

"I don't need to stand up, you Neanderthal." The PT was done lying or sitting.

Steve huffed out a frustrated sigh and Mindy held up her hand to thwart him before he spoke again. "Danny, we're just worried about you. That nerve attack you had was a bad one…" Now she turned her upraised hand to Danny to keep him from interrupting. "Don't even try to deny it. You were out there for over an hour and you're so soaking wet that you look like you just came in from a swim."

"I have to get the PT because when I get the use of this arm back I'll lose function if my muscles atrophy," Danny explained emphatically, forcing out the words.

"That's true," Mindy agreed calmly as Steve shook his head. "But, skipping one day will not make your muscles atrophy."

"I can't skip," Danny demanded again, petulantly, even as his body shuddered under the strain of simply standing.

"Danny…" Mindy started to explain again but this time Steve cut her off with a gentle touch of her arm.

Suddenly remembering what they had just been discussing about Danny feeling like nothing was in his control Steve changed his tune. "Okay, Danny. You want to do the PT and you feel up to it, fine, we'll do it. It's your call."

"It's your choice." Mindy added her agreement while exchanging a comprehending look with Steve. They were on the same wavelength here. Side by side they awaited Danny's answer, and neither one was surprised when it came.

"I want to do it," Danny said adamantly, even as he continued to struggle to remain upright. He never actually said that he felt up to it because he most certainly didn't. "I told you I don't want to skip it."

"Then, let's get started." The coffee sitting in the kitchen all but forgotten, the three made their way to Danny's room, Steve and Mindy hovering closely as Danny stubbornly staggered down the hall.

Mindy felt awkward as she entered Danny's bedroom, finding herself quite relieved when there was no evidence of his girlfriend in there – no pictures, no hair brush, no clothing…

Mindy watched as Steve deftly assisted Danny in removing the sling and his sweat soaked shirt. She fought the urge to allow her gaze to linger on his now bare chest, noticing the stitches had been removed from the wound there. She wondered for a moment what his muscular chest would feel like under her fingers when he was healthy and had just finished a work out. Shaking herself she tried to refocus.

"You okay?" Danny asked.

Mindy realized he was talking to her. "Uhh…" He had caught her daydreaming.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Mindy had now pulled herself together. "No, I offered to learn so I can help."

Being a doctor and having watched the care of the wound once in the hospital, Mindy was able to unpack, irrigate and repack the wound with ease. "You're fired, Steve," Danny joked. "Her hands are warmer, softer and gentler than yours."

The physical therapy was a different matter. She was quickly able to learn the proper hand position and maneuvers. Working with his hand and elbow were easy. He didn't feel a thing so she could push and stretch just as Steve told her to do. When they moved on to his shoulder however, it got much more difficult. "You have to stretch his arm all the way back," Steve reminded her again. "180 degrees."

"It won't go further," she objected.

"Yes it will. It's a natural position for the arm. You won't damage anything. Push harder."

Mindy gritted her teeth and pushed harder, feeling the resistance in Danny's strong but unused shoulder muscles and causing him to groan softly in pain. She stopped and pulled his arm back to a more natural position. "I'm doing it wrong."

"No. You're doing it just fine."

"It's hurting him."

"Not half as much as when the animal does it," Danny threw in, panting. He really was hurting. The PT always hurt.

"You ready to try again or you want me to finish?" Steve offered.

Mindy hesitated.

"It's supposed to hurt, Mindy," Danny assured her, his voice weak with pain and fatigue.

"It's not supposed to hurt, Danny. It's supposed to keep your muscles stretched and limber."

"Muscles which are frozen in place every other minute of the day, which makes it hurt when they're stretched," Danny pointed out.

"Right, it's not supposed to hurt; it just does."

"You're talking semantics, Mindy," Danny said. As he did, both he and Steve remembered the same words spoken by Steve earlier during their heated discussion about their partnership, or lack thereof. They looked at each other, the thought passing wordlessly between them. They needed to finish that conversation.

"How about we call it a night," Steve suggested. "You look beat, Danno."

Not surprisingly, Danny would not agree. "No. Let's finish."

Steve wanted to argue. Danny was clearly exhausted and undoubtedly in tremendous pain, but Steve wanted to allow him to have control over the things he could. Who was he to tell Danny how much pain he could endure or when he had reached his limit? "Alright, buddy. You're in charge."

Mindy stood up now. "Why don't you finish up, Steve. It'll be quicker. You can teach me more tomorrow when he's feeling better." So then Mindy watched as Steve pushed and turned Danny's shoulder to points that the muscles clearly did not want to go. Danny groaned and gasped with the pain, clenched his teeth, forced himself to breathe but he never once asked Steve to stop, never once cried 'uncle'. Mindy wiped tears from her eyes as she watched the stretches that Steve was executing for his friend. But, she could tell that the effort took an emotional toll on Steve as well. Danny was his best friend and he was causing him pain. It was for the right reasons, a great cause, true, but the torment he inflicted was intense nonetheless.

Danny had put on his best poker face so the pain wouldn't show. He often used his words as a distraction from his own pain and worries and this was no exception. "That all you got, Princess?" he tossed at Steve as he was twisting Danny's arm behind his back to maintain his internal rotation range. "Grace's bunny could push harder than that." The words were ground out between gritted teeth and ended with a stifled grunt as Steve tried to prove that he was, indeed, stronger than Grace's bunny.

Mindy shook her head and allowed herself a small grin while Steve smiled at the comment. He may be exhausted and in pain, but deep inside this was the Danny they knew and loved.


	58. Chapter 58

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Here we go – the partner talk. Hope you like it. I have to admit that as much as I don't like asking for reviews, I really, really do hope that some of you "sleeper readers" tell me what you think of this one. Reviews are what motivate me to keep writing this story and I'm a bit nervous about this chapter. It was so difficult to get it to where it felt right and I still don't know if I succeeded.

H50 H50 H50

When the PT was finished, thank yous and good byes were extended. Then, Steve walked Mindy out to the front door, leaving an exhausted Danny alone in the bedroom.

Closing the door behind her Steve turned to find Danny settling into the couch, no shirt, no shoes, no sling. "Shouldn't your arm be in the sling?" The doctor had explained the various reasons for using that support right now.

"This is fine," Danny said as he placed a pillow in his lap and then reached with his left hand to lift his right arm and rest it on top. It wasn't as easy as it seemed and Steve wordlessly stepped over and helped him get situated, then sat down next to him, Steve's right shoulder to Danny's left.

"You, uh, got sick during that nerve attack, didn't you?" He had sensed it, but didn't want to make a deal of it in front of Mindy.

"Nearly barfed my freaking brains out." Danny's voice was rough, gravelly. It had been a long day.

"So, in the end it wasn't my driving that made you break your streak," Steve joked.

Danny cast him a dirty look. "Bite me." He paused a moment, before going on tiredly. "Shit, I need to clean up the yard before Charlie comes tomorrow." He sagged further into the sofa cushions with a weary sigh.

"I'll help you."

"No, you won't. Bad enough I lost my stomach; don't need a Neanderthal cleaning up after me to add to the humiliation."

They sat in stillness and silence for a minute. That rarely happened when Danny was around. Still and silent never worked well for him but he was so incredibly wiped out right now. So, it was Steve who spoke first. "Look, about this weekend thing. If you don't want to do it, we don't have to. It just seems like a really nice place with a lot of things to do."

Danny snorted. "Oh yeah, we could go snorkeling, canoeing, deep sea fishing. Oh hey I got it, we could get in those 18 holes of golf we keep talking about, " Danny snarked, his left hand moving for emphasis at his first words before sagging to his side before he was done speaking.

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Danny had a point.

"At night," Danny went on, "we could go for drinks. Alcohol and painkillers make quite the party, you know. Then for added fun, we could pick up some hot babes and you can impress the hell out of them by showing them how you change the dressings in the hole in my back."

"You done?"

A pained, frustrated sigh was Danny's reply.

Steve sighed as well. "Look Danny, I thought we could just relax and have a good time, okay? Just get away from all of this crap for a few days. Just us. You know, like friends, brothers?"

Brothers, Danny thought. He sighed again as he closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the sofa. "I ever tell you I really miss Matty?" Danny asked softly, his voice catching. He missed him so much it hurt.

Oh Danny. It had only been a year since Matt's death. Danny was still grieving, still dealing with the emotional fallout of feeling that he failed his beloved baby brother, feeling that he failed his whole beloved family. The vivid hallucinations he had suffered in the hospital threw more fuel on the fire. Just sitting next to him, Steve could feel his pain. "Yeah," Steve said in the same quiet tone, dipping his head. Nothing he could say would bring Matt back or take the pain away. "Yeah, I know."

Danny had lost a brother, a brother he had loved dearly. Steve had never had a brother. They each looked at this amazingly close relationship from a bit of a different perspective. Danny kept his eyes closed for a moment and drew a deep breath to compose himself before getting back to the subject that Steve had brought up. He could tell that this thing meant a lot to Steve – and if it meant a lot to Steve then it meant a lot to Danny. That's the way it was with brothers. Clearing his throat, he opened his eyes and turned his gaze to his friend. "So this 'brocation' you're talking about…"

Steve grinned. "Brocation? I like that."

Danny took a deep breath and made an offer that he didn't really want to make, but he did it for Steve. "I'll go," he stated clearly, without hesitation.

"Good," Steve replied. "I'm sure there were things in the brochure that you can do. I just don't remember them."

"Or you can do them on your own while I sit by the pool and read a book, or take a nap." He didn't have energy for much since he was wounded. "I'm really good at that these days."

"I wouldn't leave you behind like that."

"You would too. Knowing you, you'll meet some babe in the plane and ditch me flat."

"I would never!" Steve protested.

Danny just tossed him a look.

"Well, what does she look like exactly?" Steve hedged.

"Animal." Danny grinned. "Do they have a masseuse?"

"Yeah, that was on the list. Good thinking. I'm sure he can give you a good deep tissue massage."

"No, she will. Better than having your Neanderthal hands all over me."

"That's what I'm teaching Mindy for," Steve said with a smirk.

Danny ignored the comment. Mindy was a good friend who had asked to learn the massage and PT in order to help him. That was it. "You sure we'll even have time for anything on our own? Aren't there talks and sessions we have to go to?"

"They won't miss us," Steve replied assuredly. "Look, we don't have to do this," he added, "but we'll still have to do the mandated partner hours unless we file the paperwork officially dropping each other as partners."

Danny quickly moved to sit up straight and just as quickly regretted it, dropping back against the cushions with a pained grimace. He had never thought about it that way. "No," he could barely speak. The thought of doing that truly unnerved him. "No, don't do that." He swallowed hard. "Please - don't do that," he repeated quieter.

"Okay. I really don't want to do that either." Steve could see the internal struggle that Danny was waging over the subject even as his body was fighting the consuming fatigue. He took a deep breath and made an offer that he didn't really want to make, but he did it for Danny. "But I'll stop calling you partner if that's what you want."

"Yeah." Danny was silent for a confused moment, his head spinning, his gut churning. He couldn't have Steve's back when he wasn't with him and he couldn't handle losing another partner. He just couldn't. "Thanks."

He glanced to his left. He loved this man – best friend, brother, partner. Whatever label was put on it, he loved him. Losing Steve would be unbearable whether he called him partner or not. So, why was he hung up on the label?

In his heart, Steve was his partner in such a complete sense that it honestly did redefine the word. So why did it hurt so much to hear him say it these days? He really didn't know. Then again, everything hurt these days. Everything was confusing these days. Everything downright sucked these days - especially trying to pretend that everything was going to be okay.

Ultimately, he realized, not calling each other partner wouldn't change a thing.

He ran his hand through his hair with a frustrated exhale and amended his answer. "Oh, hell Steve, I don't know." He rubbed his insentient right arm, frustrated beyond belief, yet again, that he still couldn't feel a damn thing. "I don't frigging know anything anymore." He closed his eyes again, not daring a look at Steve.

Mindy was right, Steve thought, Danny really doesn't know what he wants, really doesn't know what this is all about. He's just plain confused and hurting and anxious and scared. He recalled Danny's emotional breakdown in the medical building parking lot the week before - too much stress for one man. "It's your call, buddy. You let me know."

Danny nodded, eyes still closed. He had no answer. His head was pounding and his mind felt like scrambled eggs.

"So, I should make the reservations?" Going back to the other subject, Steve carefully avoided using the volatile word 'partner'. He tapped Danny's left shoulder with a fist. "Enjoy a little brocation together?"

Danny opened his eyes and turned his gaze on Steve. "Yeah sure. If we manage not to kill each other, it'll be fun." Just a hint of a smile crossed his exhausted features.

"Okay. It's settled then." Steve slapped him on the knee and used it to push himself up to standing. "Let's get you to bed, huh?" Steve suggested. "I've seen month old garbage that looks better than you." He extended his hand out to Danny so he could help him off the sofa. Then their eyes met.

In that moment, as Steve looked him in the eye and extended his arm out to help, everything became clear to Danny. His life was a total mess but this man reaching his hand out to him, this friend, this brother, was one constant he knew he could always rely on. His partner. Yes, he thought again, for the two of them the word partner had been redefined years ago. No matter what happened, they would always be partners. "Always have my back, huh, partner?" Danny rasped in a painful exhale as he grasped Steve's hand and allowed him to haul him to his feet.

Steadying Danny on his weary legs and locking eyes again, Steve nodded his head fondly, surprised and pleased by Danny's use of the word. "Always partner," he whispered in reply.

Danny didn't object.


	59. Chapter 59

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I said it at the beginning of the thread but I missed saying this in the last chapter: thanks again to Julieb for her helpful and wonderful beta work on the five "partner talk" chapters. You're the best!

A/N Please note that the brocation chapter won't come for a while yet. Things like that take planning (on their part) and writing (on my part). Plus, Danny is still struggling physically and the story is heading into the Christmas season so they wouldn't go away now anyway.

A/N Finally, I'm sorry it took over a week to post this chapter. With the kids home for summer break I have to choose between spending time with them or writing this fic. The kids win every time. Heading off for family vacation now. It will be more than a week before I can post again. Sorry.

H50 H50 H50

When the call came, it was completely unexpected.

Danny was sitting at his dining room table with his laptop in front of him. Neatly organized stacks of papers and files surrounded the device. A notepad sat to the left of the laptop where he was carefully writing notes left-handed. He was diligently plodding through every tiny bit of information they had related to Gabriel Waincroft.

The seasoned, highly decorated detective knew that building a case was in the details. Bullets and hand grenades only got you so far. Paperwork and brains were a much less exciting but much more important aspect to the process. Thankfully, Danny was still able to do that, energy problems notwithstanding. Right now, he was nearing the end of his endurance and was about due for his muscle relaxers, which would knock him right on his butt, as usual.

His ringing phone pulled him away from a financial document he was scrutinizing and he glanced at the screen. His lawyer. "Damn." What now? Composing himself, he swiped the screen and answered. Rising from his chair, he moved around the table to pace his small living room.

There was no way he would allow himself to get his hopes up. The possibilities were just too unbearable to even contemplate so he needed to remain vigilant and be prepared for that possibility. As he listened, the blond detective schooled his expression, unwilling to believe what he was being told.

By the time the call ended, the release of pent up fear and anxiety surmounted the feelings wrought by the news that had just been imparted. Danny was now thrumming with excess energy. He had to tell somebody, needed to talk. He checked the time. Grace was still in school. Back in New Jersey, with the time difference, his parents would be asleep.

Pushing the second number on his speed dial, Danny was disappointed when it went to Steve's voicemail. His voice choked with emotion, he left a message. "Hey babe. I guess you're out on some Ninja SuperSEAL expedition. Be careful, you animal. Wish I had your back." He cleared his throat now, his voice an emotional rasp. "I…, well…, something happened. Call me, huh?"

Danny hung up the phone and dropped the device on the table but he was too anxious. He needed to talk to somebody, needed human interaction of some sort. He paced around the dining room table, debated for all of two more seconds and picked the phone up again. He found the appropriate number and tapped it, but was frustrated once again when he got another voicemail. "Hi, It's Danny. Nothing urgent." He didn't want anybody to worry. "I'll, uh, call you later."

Danny hung up the phone and headed to the kitchen to grab his pills off a high shelf that the kids couldn't reach. It hurt his back to stretch like that but it was to keep his children safe. Swallowing the pill, he headed to his bedroom. The emotional adrenaline rush was too much for him and, with the added effect of the muscle relaxer; he was sound asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Hours later, when the arrests had been made and the few bumps and bruises Steve had received had been dutifully ignored he finally checked his phone. Seeing Danny had left a message, he checked it right away. The tears in his partner's voice terrified the normally stoic SEAL. He called back immediately, concerned teammates gathered nearby.

Roused from his drug-induced slumber, Danny answered the phone groggily. "Williams."

"Hey Danny. Got your call. You okay?"

"I, uh," Danny cleared his throat, trying to shake the cobwebs from his head.

"Talk to me, Danno. What happened?" Steve asked anxiously - Danny's fairly incoherent answering of his phone simply exacerbating his concern.

Finally becoming more aware, Danny spoke. "Got a call from my lawyer. He heard from the Family Court Judge."

Steve turned away from the police activity and focused solely on his partner's tired voice as he listened silently, his heart pounding in his chest. Had he just lost custody of Charlie? Danny's kids were his life. If he lost custody of Charlie, Steve couldn't begin to imagine what it would do to him.

"The same judge who heard Grace's custody case a few years ago. You know, the one you most undeniably under-impressed," Danny reminded him.

Steve nodded with a slightly penitent grimace. Danny could almost see it over the phone.

"Wait a second, let me get out of bed." His back hurt and he had to move. The process was difficult enough with the use of only one arm and pain tearing through his back with movement, but it was impossible to do it while holding a phone in his one working arm. He put the phone down.

"Danny?" On his side of the call, Steve looked dumbfounded at their teammates. "Danny?"

"What?" Kono asked, bouncing in frustration. "What is it? Is he okay?"

"His lawyer called," Steve told them.

"And?" Lou prompted.

"And I don't know," Steve growled back. He could still hear the tears in Danny's voice when he left the message. "He put the phone down."

"Why would he do that?" Kono asked.

"Our boy better not be doing some thing stupid," Lou growled, thinking the worst.

"Just relax," Chin said, trying to remain calm himself. "Let's not jump to conclusions."

On his side of the line, Danny struggled to his feet before retrieving his phone. "Okay, I'm back."

"Good, now what the hell happened?" Steve was ready to blow a gasket.

Finally standing, Danny took a deep breath and then unleashed the news in a torrent of words. "She threw Rachel's custody case out completely. Right out the window, babe. The same shared-custody agreement that we have for Grace stands for Charlie as well." Danny allowed himself a smile now. "She said Rachel had 'some nerve' bringing that suit before her and chastised her for wasting the court's time. She said… she said that my injury does not change my suitability as a father and to even try and make that implication was a 'gross offense' to the court. A father's suitability lies in his heart, not in his hands."

"She said that?"

"Yeah, well, not that last line. That was mine."

"Very poetic." Steve let out a long, tension-relieving breath. As much as he had kept saying that the whole custody issue would all work out, he had been worried. As much as he had said that he wouldn't let Rachel take Charlie away from Danny, he knew there was nothing he could really do to assure that outcome. He smiled at their teammates. "That's good news, buddy. Great news."

A chorus of cheers went up from the small group.

"Good news? Great news? This is the greatest news in the history of great news. Tied right up there with Grace's verdict." Danny gushed, incredibly elated. "It's over, Steve. I now have joint custody of Charles Edward Williams. Done. Finished. Completed. Over. Final. Take that, Rachel Edwards."

"I'm so happy for you, buddy. Tell you what, you up to celebrating tonight? It's on me. The whole team should come too." Steve glanced at the teammates and received agreeable nods. "We'll celebrate together."

"You expect me to believe you'll really have your wallet with a credit card in it? Do you even know how to use one?" Danny joked back, much to Steve's delight. This was the snarky Danny he missed every day.

"Yes, I have one and know how to use it."

"You have one on you? Right now? With your name on it?"

"Yes. Well, I think I do."

"Do you, or do you not have your wallet with a credit card in it, Steven?"

On his side of the line, Steve patted his right hip. "Uh, I think it's on my desk at the office." Next to him, Chin and Kono laughed. They were used to this. While he would very often generously open the doors of the house his father had left him for gatherings large and small, Steve was notorious for never having his wallet on him nor any amount of cold hard cash.

"You, my friend are a goof of epic proportions." Danny laughed and it sounded good to Steve's ears. Between the pain and the multiple stresses he had been under, real laughs were scarce for Danny these days, but the biggest stress had now been relieved. Charlie was legally his son.

"We're almost done here. Let me finish up, go home for a shower and I'll pick you up in a couple hours or so."

"Your showers take no longer than two minutes, Super-SEAL. Why two hours?" Sitting in the house all day drove Danny crazy, even if he was being a bit productive with the paper trail sleuthing between naps.

"Paperwork. Processing. You know, real police work."

Suddenly, Danny was sorry he asked. His tone reflected the surge of depression at his continuing disability. Danny took pride in doing all the aspects of police work and doing them well. He missed it. "Yeah, I know."

Just as suddenly, Steve felt like a heel for raining on Danny's parade. He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "I'm going to make Lou do all the paperwork."

Danny saw it for what it was but appreciated it nonetheless. "Better check his grammar and punctuation before you sign it. Spelling, too. It's not like pawning it off on me."

"No, it's not, partner." Steve was happy that he could say that again without Danny objecting, thanks to their chat the other night.

"Steve, that's Mindy on the other line. I'm gunna get that and let you get back to pawning your work off on Lou," Danny said as his phone buzzed and he looked at the screen.

"Ah, Mindy," Steve said. Danny could practically see him smile through the line. "Tell her we'll pick her up in a couple hours." Steve hung up quickly, not wanting to give Danny time to react to that suggestion.

"I'm not …," Danny responded but Steve had hung up. He quickly tapped on his screen to answer the incoming call. "Hi Mindy. How's my favorite dead people doctor?"

Mindy laughed and Danny relished the sound of it. "Is that all I am to you?" Mindy replied with a laugh. "You have a dead body you need me to take care of?"

"No, but you'd be the first person I'd call if I did."

"I thought Steve would have that dubious honor."

"He'd be the first person I'd call if I needed to dispose of one."

"Clearly distinguished roles, I see. You sound good Danny. How are you feeling?"

Danny was surprised and pleased that Mindy could read him so well. "Good, really good. I don't know how long it's been since I felt this good."

"You get feeling back in your arm?" Mindy asked excitedly.

"Better than that," Danny replied.

"Charlie!" Mindy shouted the name into the phone before Danny even had a chance to say it.

It amazed Danny how incredibly in-tuned she was to him. "Yeah, it's finished. Joint custody."

"Ohhhh Danny, that's incredible news!" Mindy exclaimed.

Danny could practically feel her bouncing in joy over the line, and she had never even met his kids. "Yeah, it is but you know what's ironic? As a result of Rachel filing for sole custody I will actually end up with more time with him than I had before."

"What goes around, comes around. Does this start immediately?"

"Yep, as of this moment Charles Edward Williams is as officially mine as Grace is."

"The name change is official, too? That's so wonderful. Oh, I'm so happy for you. We should celebrate with some non-alcoholic wine the next time I make dinner," Mindy said with a laugh, keeping up their running joke.

Danny laughed heartily now. It hurt his back, but he barely felt it. "The best news of my life and you want to toast it with that stuff?" What Steve had said just before he hung up finally sunk in – 'tell her we'll pick her up.' It was so tempting to invite her. He found himself truly wanting to do that, truly wanting to spend that time with her. It was time she got to know the whole team and was welcomed into the ohana, he decided. "I have a better idea. I'm going to celebrate tonight with the team, our ohana. Would you join us?"

Mindy hesitated. "Ummm."

"Hey, it's actually two monumental occasions in one because Steve said he's buying. I've never even seen his wallet come out of his pocket before."

Mindy laughed. "Oh, but I don't want to intrude."

"You would most definitely not be intruding, Mindy. Even Max will be there and he still calls me Detective Williams."

"But Steve…?" She stopped.

"…told me that you should come. No worries there. Please? It would mean a lot to me if you joined us."

"Is Melissa going to be there?"

The question stopped Danny cold. He hadn't even told Melissa about this yet. Hadn't even thought of telling her, actually. Now, thinking about it, he wondered how she'd even respond. Would it be with the same selfless joy that Mindy had shown? Melissa never really mixed much with the whole team either. "No. No, she won't. Melissa and I, uh, we're figuring some things out. She won't be there." He paused a second and then added. "I haven't even told her yet."

"You haven't?"

"No. Like I said, things are complicated right now. I'm sorry if my inviting you makes you feel awkward. It's just, you've been such a good friend and you've been here for me through all of this and you really didn't have to be. "

"I care about you Danny. You're my friend. Of course I'm here for you. If you're sure it's okay, I'd love to join you and your ohana."

"You would? Really?"

"Yes, really," Mindy laughed.

"Thank you."

"You're thanking me for including me in your celebration that Steve is paying for?"

"Yep. I'm incorrigible remember?"


	60. Chapter 60

A/N My deepest apologies for how long it has taken to get this chapter out. Our long vacation was amazing but I had no time to write. Upon returning, real life struck (I won't bore you with details) along with a bit of writer's block. Special thanks to Julieb who helped me whip this chapter into final form. Any and all mistakes are mine, though.

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Tip of the hat to Daniel Dae Kim in this one.

H50 H50 H50

Expecting to head into the house and help Danny finish getting dressed, Steve was surprised when he had barely pulled up to the curb and Danny was already tugging his front door shut behind him. His partner's sheer joy was contagious as he virtually bounced down the driveway heading towards the truck, his trademark, irresistible smile spread wide across his handsome face.

His attire was much more like the Danny he remembered than the one he'd seen since the injury. Polished and shined dress shoes were worn under perfectly pressed dress slacks. His blond hair combed neatly into place, and his beard freshly shaved, the only thing unusual was the dress shirt. It was impeccably pressed as Danny's shirts always were, but this one sported short sleeves that fit tight around his bulging biceps.

The only thing marring the perfect image was the sling encasing his right arm, the back strap hanging loose, and even that appeared to be the new one that Chin had picked up a couple days ago. Steve smiled, thrilled beyond belief at seeing this brother of his so undeniably happy. How Danny had managed to get himself ready by himself, Steve wasn't sure. He only figured that it had taken Danny the entire two plus hours since they had hung up the phone to do so.

Steve hopped out of the truck and they met on the curb with a firm, yet gentle, hug. Words of joy and congratulations were exchanged before Steve quickly snatched the trailing strap from the sling and expertly secured it around Danny's back to keep his arm snuggled firmly in place against his chest.

"So, what's Mindy's address?" Steve asked as they pulled away from the curb minutes later.

"You're just assuming she's coming?"

"Am I wrong?"

Danny grinned, shaking his head. "No."

"I'm never wrong,"

Danny rolled his eyes. "So you always tell me." He gave Steve the address and, having looked it up, explained what area of town he should head to.

"New shirt," Steve commented with a nod of his head. "I like it. Makes you look more like a local."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Steven; I do not want to look like a local. This is for practical purposes only." Rolling up his left sleeve by himself was impossible so he had resorted to this solution. He sighed. "Desperate times require desperate measures."

Steve cast him an inquiring look. "Desperate measures? It's just a dress shirt."

"With short sleeves! I mean, seriously. No self-respecting Jerseyan would be caught dead wearing a short sleeved dress shirt." He shuddered at the thought.

Steve laughed. "That so?"

"That so? That so he asks. Of course that's so. They're an abomination. Look at it."

"Mindy buy it for you?"

"Mindy? Buy this? Why are you so hung up on my shirt? Since when have you been interested in any kind of fashion, Mr. 'hundred pairs of cargo pants'?"

"So it was Mindy," Steve concluded based on how defensive Danny got. It was so much fun to push his buttons.

"No, it wasn't." Danny grinned, having won that round.

"Grace then."

Danny chuckled. "Yeah." He looked down at the shirt. "She meant well. At least there are no palm trees on it."

"We'll take a picture of you for her."

"No, no, no, no. No pictures. Absolutely not."

"We have to. Grace will be so thrilled that you're wearing it, buddy."

"She will be just as thrilled when I tell her with a phone call."

"But a picture is worth a thousand words, partner."

"Yeah, and I know that if I let you take one picture then you will paste it all over every form of social media and soon everyone I know in New Jersey will be laughing about this veritable wardrobe malfunction." Danny's left hand helped him make his point.

"I wouldn't do that," Steve defended lamely.

"Yes, you would. And so would Kono and so would Lou. Maybe even Chin after he gets a couple drinks in him. I'm warning ya now. Anybody tries to take a picture tonight and I'm gunna go all Jersey on 'em. I don't care if it's the f*%&ing King of Siam, that sucker's goin' down."

"Duly noted." When Danny started talking Jersey, he got a bit scary, so Steve let it go. Enjoying the fact that his best friend had some of his spirit and spunk back though, Steve continued to push his buttons in other ways, all the way to Mindy's place.

"Why don't you call her and tell her we're around the corner," Steve said when they neared Mindy's house.

"I'll just go to the door. I have to get out to let her in the back seat anyway."

Steve looked at him askance.

"Don't give me that face," Danny told him.

"I don't…"

"Yes, you do. Now pull over and let me be a gentleman like my Momma reared me to be."

"Did you say reared?"

"Yes, as in 'to bring up or care for a child'."

"You mean 'raised'."

"No, I don't. You raise vegetables Steven; you rear a child. Didn't they teach you English in Army school?" Danny asked with a grin as he opened the door and eased himself out of the truck.

"Navy, Danny," Steve replied with his own grin as Danny closed the door behind him. Some would get annoyed or offended by Danny's continual reference to army rather than navy, but Steve knew Danny well enough by now. This was just the way the man was; it was part of his nature to tease and rant and to push Steve's buttons to deliberately divert attention elsewhere. It's how he coped, and heaven knew that right now, there was much that Danny still had to cope with.

Steve watched as Danny carefully stretched his constantly aching back and then ran his left hand over his hair. "You look beautiful Princess, now go get Mindy," Steve shouted at him through the open window.

"You're just jealous. You've never looked this good in your life," Danny retorted, beaming.

Seeing the full mega-watt smile and joyful glow that adorned his best friend's face Steve thought, for just a moment mind you, that maybe he was right.

Before Danny reached the porch steps, the front door opened and Mindy appeared, a wide smile across her face as well. "You didn't even let me ring the bell," Danny complained good-naturedly.

"You want me to go back inside and wait for you to get up the stairs?" Mindy teased back as she kept her hand on the not-quite-closed door. She raised her eyebrows and tilted her chin up in a moment of query.

Danny looked at her, standing in the doorway, her long dark hair falling softly over her shoulders. The fuschia sundress hugged her curves just right and the color suited her dark skin perfectly. The subtle touch of makeup highlighted her dark eyes and full pink lips. Rendered speechless by the sight, he simply stood at the bottom of the stairs unable to pull his eyes off of her.

Mindy looked at him, standing at the bottom of her porch stairs, his blond locks reflecting the sun. The blue dress shirt fit him like a glove, snug in all the right places – across his chest and shoulders and around his powerful upper arms. The color suited his blue eyes perfectly. The smile spread wide across his face was a sight she thought she'd never tire of seeing. She tugged the door shut and bounded down the steps, snapping him out of his haze. "Forget it, I can't wait." She reached for Danny and they exchanged a friendly kiss on the cheek before she again relayed her happiness at his wonderful news.

"So, did you talk to the kids?" Mindy asked eagerly after they were on their way again.

"Yeah, I called Grace when she got out of school." That was nothing new. They spoke most days. "The day just doesn't seem right if we don't talk about her day."

"He gets neurotic if he doesn't make sure she's okay at least ten times a day," Steve said, laughing when Danny tossed him an annoyed look. "I guess she was thrilled," Steve added with a gleam in his eye. He loved Grace as if she were his own niece. It made sense since he thought of her father as his brother.

"You could say that. I think I have hearing loss from the shriek of joy." Danny playfully pulled at his ear. "It's such a relief that she's not jealous of Charlie."

"You worry too much, buddy. You've made sure that Grace always knows her place in your life. " Steve had spent enough time, not only with Danny but with his kids as well, to know that for a fact,

"You loved her first," Mindy added. "Nobody can change that."

Danny grinned and nodded his head. "Thanks."

"You may have loved her first, but we all know you love me best," Steve then threw in with a jaunty smile.

"Don't say that too loud or they'll start with the married jokes again," Danny replied with a groan.

"Married jokes?" Mindy asked. She hadn't ever been near Danny and Steve with anybody else around other than at a crime scene. She did not yet know the inside jokes.

"They think they're funny," Steve said.

"If you would stop telling everybody how much you think I love you then maybe they'd stop," Danny told him. "Whoa, will you slow down, Rambo!" Danny then added as Steve swerved the truck around a slower moving car.

"Stop being a such a girl."

"I have kids!"

"My driving is just fine." He cut around another car. "It's these people who drive like turtles who are the problem."

"Those 'turtles' are going the speed limit. The problem is the SEAL." Danny braced his hand against the dashboard. "You sure you even have a license?"

"Yes, I have license."

"Sure, sitting right there in your imaginary wallet."

Behind them, Mindy braced herself as well as they veered around a turn. "I get it now," she muttered to herself, laughing as the two men bickered.

When they arrived, Chin, Kono and Abby were already there. Lou, Max, Kamekona, Jerry, Duke and Pua followed.

Seated on the outside patio next to the beach, Danny's utter joy at the good custody news was palpable to all those around him and everybody appeared to love Mindy as she fit in seamlessly. Yet, Danny grew more reticent as the evening progressed. "You okay?" Steve asked, seated next to him as usual and leaning near him to speak quietly.

"I'm fine," Danny replied briskly. His back and head hurt, but he was used to that.

"You don't look fine," Steve replied.

"Just shut up and try and be nice," Danny growled back causing Steve to back-off for the moment, while still keeping a concerned eye on his friend.

A short while later Mindy, seated on the other side of Danny, excused herself to use the ladies room. Kono and Abby joined her. Danny watched them walk away and then turned back to the men at the table. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Caught completely off guard by the outburst, the men exchanged confused glances as Steve replied sharply. "Wrong with us? What the hell is wrong with you? You just got custody of your son; you should be happy for once."

"I'm ecstatic, but how can I be happy when you're all treating Mindy like this?"

"What the hell do you mean by that? Everybody's been very nice to her," Lou retorted.

Danny began to recite some of the comments that had been made that evening that irked him. "'It's about time Danny brought you to socialize with us.' What's that supposed to mean? Huh? 'How can you put up with him?' 'The two of you should join us more often.' She's a friend, not my date," Danny shot back. "Kono and Abby are probably over there doing the girl thing right now. How do you think this makes Mindy feel?"

"Danny…" Chin began when he finally took a breath but he wasn't finished.

"And don't think I didn't notice that none of you asked about Melissa, about how she's doing or why she isn't here. Not one of you."

"With Mindy here it seemed awkward," Lou confessed.

"Exactly my point. You're all making it awkward," Danny shouted back. "She's a friend, like any one of you."

"Sorry, brah, but that tasty thing ain't like any of us," Kamekona started with a grin.

Danny shot out of his chair, seething. "Tasty thing?" But the quick movement, compounded by the stress, didn't agree well with his healing, medicated body and he swayed in place. "Shit," he said weakly, grabbing the table with his left hand as Steve silently reached out to steady him.

"I think it would be best for your health if you sat down," Max advised.

"I need some air." Danny closed his eyes and blew a breath out slowly, pulling away from Steve's helping hands.

"We're outside," Jerry pointed out. "Plenty of fresh air."

"Packed on this patio like sardines," Danny replied, suddenly feeling like the non-existent walls were closing in on him. "I gotta get out of here." And with that he pushed away from the table and headed slowly through the crowds of tables towards the beach.

"Me thinks he doth protest too much," Lou laughed as he walked away.

Casting Lou a disparaging look, Steve scrubbed his hand across his face and rose from the table just as Chin was rising as well. They looked at each other and nodded. Danny was their best friend and had always been there for each of them. They'd do this together. They didn't have to say where they were going. The others knew.

They caught up with him near the shoreline and silently took their place on either side of him. Danny drew in a deep breath, winced and then let it out in a long sigh, supporting his sling-encased right arm with his left.

"For what it's worth," Chin finally began in his quiet unassuming way. "I don't get the feeling that Mindy feels awkward at all."

"I'm giving her the wrong impression. It was a mistake to invite her."

"No. She's a friend, Danny. She's helping you through this like the rest of us," Steve added. "There's no reason she shouldn't be included."

"Then why do I feel like I'm cheating on Melissa?"


	61. Chapter 61

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N A gold star to Jean Blythe, Sue2556, DetectiveJiju and bswindle for catching the tip of the hat to Daniel Dae Kim in the last chapter. He played the King of Siam in The King and I on Broadway for a few weeks this summer while the regular "king" took a break.

A/N Since you waited so long for the last chapter I'm posting this one sooner than usual. Plus, it's my birthday treat to myself.

H50 H50 H50

Kono had been ecstatic upon hearing the news that Danny was granted joint custody of Charlie without having to endure the stress and cost of a court battle. Danny's ebullient demeanor when he arrived at their celebration was a joy to see. He had greeted her with that amazing smile of his and then stepped into her offered hug, adding a kiss to her cheek as he always did for her. She knew that Danny grated some people the wrong way but she knew that the man had a heart of gold and she loved him as much as he loved her.

She had been pleasantly surprised when Dr. Shaw, or Mindy as she had now come to call her, had arrived with the two bosses, but was even more pleasantly surprised as she got to know the woman outside of the work environment. Kono was thrilled to be adding another woman to their decidedly male dominated ohana. Being a woman, she enjoyed trying to decipher relationships and so she took pleasure in trying to figure out just how Mindy fit into the Danny and Steve dynamic. She recalled that the woman had given Danny the very practical gift while he was in the hospital so she figured that Danny was the focal point of her new social connection to the team.

Kono had watched Mindy interact with those around her. Jerry and Kamekona had never met her before and the large Hawaiian appeared especially enamored. She had been perfectly polite with the rest of them, had showed a friendly familiarity with Steve but what truly caught Kono's eye was the way she had been with Danny. He had gently touched her back to guide her to the table after they arrived and she had offered him a warm smile but there had been no overt touching between them. Kono had overheard Mindy encouraging Danny to go ahead and order the Surf & Turf. Kono knew it was Danny's favorite because he ordered it quite often, but it appeared that Mindy knew it as well. That thought was intriguing.

When Danny's plate came, Mindy had accepted it from the waiter with a ready smile, had cut the steak into manageable bite size pieces and then placed the plate in front of him without a word of objection from the very independent, yet injured, man. That was even more intriguing. Their ease in each other's company was evident and it had occurred to her that Danny never seemed that at ease with Melissa, in the rare occasion that she even joined them, that is.

Mindy was charming, smart, funny, polite, attentive, caring and rather stunning with her hair down and wearing a sundress rather than a lab coat. When they had excused themselves for the ladies room, Kono was dying to ask Mindy about her relationship with Danny, but she couldn't do it. First, she didn't know Mindy at all outside of work before this evening but, more importantly, she didn't know where Danny and Melissa's relationship stood. She knew their relationship had been unduly strained since he had been stabbed but she had never heard that Danny and Melissa had actually broken up. No, she had decided, speaking about Danny in that way that women did when they headed to the ladies room together was not something she was going to initiate. Now, if Mindy had started down that path, she would have jumped right in but that hadn't happened and Kono had tamped her curiosity down.

The one thing that had somewhat marred the event was watching Danny's ready smile and effusive manner dim as the evening went on. Apparently, the pain and fatigue of his injury caught up with him. His battle with the virulent infection was far from over. When they had returned from the ladies room and found him on the beach with Steve and Chin, Mindy had asked the men still at the table if Danny was okay, her worry evident in her voice and bearing. Lou had then assured her that Danny was fine and just needed some air, and Mindy had visibly relaxed. Kono felt it all to be so very charming and, with no real apology to Melissa, found herself hoping that Danny somehow ended up with Mindy. She'd be very good for him, she thought, and an excellent addition to the ohana. Mindy would be a very lucky woman, indeed.

The next day, Kono drove Danny to his physical therapy appointment. When the grueling session was done, Danny's personal Patient Care Representative (also known as a PCR) asked to speak to Danny alone but Danny insisted that there was no reason for Kono to leave. They were ohana.

"The doctor and physical therapist think it's time we get you started with occupational therapy," the PCR began. "You need to learn how to do things left handed so you can take care of yourself."

Danny felt blind-sided. It sounded like they were giving up. He wasn't going to give up. "No thanks. I'm not going to need it. I'll manage just fine until it heals."

"There comes a time when you need to face facts," the PCR said.

"Facts? Face facts?" Danny replied, clearly upset. Kono laid a reassuring hand on his left arm but it did no good. "Just what facts do you think I have to face?"

The PCR was blunt, very blunt, clearly lacking in the art of subtlety. "The fact that each day you go without feeling or movement in that arm means the odds of it ever happening decrease."

Danny shook his head, refusing to believe he'd never be able to use his arm again. "Those are your facts. My facts are different. I am not going to let that bastard who stabbed me win. It's taking longer than I had hoped, sure, but I will use my arm again."

"Mr. Williams, we've explained this to you before. The fact that you have had no improvement by now means the odds of gaining full use again are slim, very slim," the PCR said.

"You're talking about statistics. I am not a statistic," he said, keeping his voice calm while he stood up. "I'm talking about my own body, my own arm and I will use it again. So thank you very much for your opinion, but I'm fine the way things are and will you please call me Danny?" He had asked her before and she'd say it once but then kept reverting to calling him Mr. Williams.

"Danny," the PCR tried again, "the bottom line is that there's not much hope."

He forced a smile now as he began to turn to the door. "Really? Not much hope? That's what you're telling me? I am not giving up like that."

Kono remained seated, surprised by the quick turn of events.

"You coming Kono?" Danny called as he walked out.

"I'll talk to him," Kono told the PCR, as she rose from her chair and headed to the door.

"Good."

"But, if you ask me, I'd put my odds on him using that arm again. Danny is no quitter."

"I'm talking facts here," the PCR reiterated.

"And, by the way," Kono threw over her shoulder as she headed out the door. "Your bedside manner sucks."

Kono stepped out the door of the physical therapy office and looked for Danny. He was nowhere to be seen, but she heard the snick of the stairwell door so she headed that way. Opening it and stepping through she found Danny heading down the stairs with a firm grip on the railing. In his condition it wasn't particularly wise to attempt all those stairs by himself but he needed to work off some steam and his pace was reasonable so Kono kept her mouth shut about it as she pulled up next to him.

They went down two full flights of stairs without uttering a word. The only sound was Danny's labored breathing. Finally, Kono couldn't take it anymore. "Your PCR is seriously lacking in bedside manner," Kono griped as a way to get Danny to talk.

"She's new. I'm one of her first patients. Not every rookie is a star right out of the box," he told Kono with a warm wink, but through heavy breaths.

Kono smiled. Six years and he still called her rookie sometimes and it didn't bother her at all. He made it sound like a compliment. Here Danny was, making her feel better. His fairly positive attitude since he was attacked was surprising and perplexing to the whole team, not that anyone was complaining. They certainly wouldn't complain about Danny not complaining.

Danny paused on the stairs now, clearly fatigued. The tingling was starting. "Shit."

"You okay, brah?" Kono asked concerned.

"Gotta get out of here." He started moving again, frantically heading down the stairs.

Kono was confused. What was going on? Was his claustrophobia kicking in? She stayed a step in front and to his side, hoping to prevent him from tumbling completely down the stairs if he stumbled in his haste.

His breathing was become harsher and when Kono risked a glance back she realized that his eyes were almost completely closed. He was making his way down by feel alone. "Nerve pain attack." She finally realized.

"Good… rookie." Danny managed to reply.

They continued down, Kono staying in front to prevent a disastrous fall. Him having such an attack on the stairs was something she had never considered. Her mind switched to something worse – what if he had been driving? She suddenly realized that unless these attacks ceased completely, he'd never be able to safely drive a car or carry a gun even if he got the use of his arm back. She nearly sobbed at the thought as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

Exiting the stairwell into the lobby brought a burst of sunlight through the broad windows, scorching his eyes. Damn Hawaiian sun. The sounds of the busy lobby seemed to magnify as they rumbled around in his head. He stumbled now as the light and sounds wreaked havoc on his fragile nervous system.

Kono hustled him to a sofa in the darkest corner of the room, feeling that he wouldn't make it to the car in his current state. He fought the pain in a way he never did in the privacy of his hospital room or his own home, the feeling of humiliation compounding the effects ten-fold. He sat straight up, eyes straight ahead, sweat trickling down his face, down the back of his shirt, pooling in the waistband of his dress slacks.

Kono sat next to him, trying not to stare at him, knowing he hated that kind of attention. She debated calling upstairs but the thought of what the socially inept, neophyte PCR might do or say stopped her. She'd probably just come down and watch or badger him while he suffered. Danny didn't need more attention being called to his plight. So she remained steadfast by his side until the episode passed and Danny began to settle. Fortunately, it wasn't long.

"You okay, other boss?" Kono asked softly when she saw him relax.

"Yeah."

"You scared the hell out of me on the stairs like that."

"Scared me too," Danny admitted. He wiped his sweaty brow with his sleeve. "Sorry."

"No worries." They sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again when she saw him begin to rise from his seat. "You ready to go?"

Although very tired Danny was feeling better by the time they reached the car. His stomach rumbled. "Hey, want to stop at Polunu's on the way? I'm buying."

Kono immediately recalled Steve telling her what Danny had said about Polunu's when he was battling delirium in his hospital bed. "Eat here and get fat?"

Having no idea that he had even said that to Steve all those days ago, Danny laughed. "So, I'm not the only one who thinks that?"

Not wanting to embarrass Danny with yet anther story of forgotten fevered ramblings Kono grinned and replied with a simple, "I guess great minds think alike."

They enjoyed a quiet lunch together, eating sandwiches and salads. Danny's appetite was good again and he was trying to eat well to gain his strength back. He finished his lunch and then helped Kono finish hers. They avoided the subject of Danny's arm and the suggestion made by the PCR. Kono spoke of Adam's latest efforts to clean up the family business and weed out any employees who disagreed with the plan. Danny told of Grace's latest school project and of Charlie's pre-school exploits. That he was a mini-Danny was so clear in Kono's mind. She had finally met him on Thanksgiving and fallen head over heals with the precocious towheaded four year old.

"When can I see him again?" Kono asked with an uncharacteristic girly whine. "He's just so adorable." She saw Grace often but had only seen Charlie that one day.

Danny smiled mischievously, his blue eyes twinkling. "Adorable, huh? I thought you said he looked like me."

Laughter bubbled up. "I did, didn't I? What was I thinking? He looks nothing like you, brah."

"No, no, no, no. No take backs," Danny said, nudging her with his left shoulder as they headed back to her car.

"But I think I had a concussion when I said that." It sounded like a good excuse, anyway. "I can't be held accountable."

"A concussion huh? How'd that happen?" Danny grinned, enjoying the playful banter.

"I was with that Neanderthal animal partner of yours because you were out of commission." She thought that added credence to her fabricated story.

"Oh, so it's my fault?" Danny laughed, enjoying Kono's pretense.

She hadn't thought of that when she made the story up but now that he said it Kono smirked. "Exactly."

"Interesting logic." Danny smirked back.

"I learn the best stuff from both my bosses," Kono quipped, flipping her hair saucily as she scurried away to the driver's side of the car and out of Danny's reach.

"Damn rookie." Danny laughed again.

The ride home was just as pleasant and as Danny got out of the car and said goodbye to Kono he was in a good mood. Pulling the key from his pocket he headed to the front door.

Kono decided she should check her messages before pulling away from the curb. She had purposely avoided the subject of OT with Danny. She'd let him think on it a while and bring it up tomorrow. Finding nothing urgent on her phone she glanced up at Danny's front door before she would pull away but was surprised at what she saw.

Danny put the key in the lock, turned the knob with his left hand and pushed. The door wouldn't budge. Crap, he remembered now that to open his front door you had to hold the swinging lock cover out of the way, insert the key, turn the key in the lock while simultaneously tugging the door towards you and then when the bolt clicked back you could push the door open. But the process took two hands. He suddenly realized that this was the first time he had attempted to unlock his own front door since the injury.

Not one to give up, Danny tried the process again and again. The fourth time he tried he managed to drop the keys before trying again. Frustration reaching the boiling point he pounded his left hand into the door, while releasing a disgruntled growl. A hard shoulder shove to the door didn't manage to open it but rather to send him dropping to his knees.

As Kono raced up to reach him, he shifted his weight and sat with his back against the recalcitrant front door, his feet flat on the porch, his knees pulled up. The stress caused his blood pressure to skyrocket and the resultant pounding headache almost matched the pain in his back.

"Having trouble there, brah?" Sensing Danny's stress Kono tried to keep it light.

"Need two freaking hands to open the damn door. Can't even get into my own freaking house by myself. Damnit all." The angry frustration was oozing off of him in waves, his "Jersey" showing.

"That really stinks." Kono quietly sat down next to Danny and leaned on it with him. She made a mental note to speak with the rest of the team about fixing the door so Danny could open it one-handed. They had a few other things they were trying to help with as well, one handled faucets and that swing set for Charlie among them.

"What doesn't?" Danny asked dejectedly. "I need help doing everything. Can't do a damn thing for myself anymore."

Kono knew that was far from true. Danny had been managing well as he adapted step by step and his spirits had remained strong, surprisingly so considering his normally anxious disposition. The frustration was wearing on him though. She knew a good opportunity when she saw one so she took it. "When I blew my knee out the doctors told me I'd never surf again."

"And you proved them wrong." That thought was encouraging to Danny.

"Yeah, eventually, but it took a long time."

"Did you need somebody to unlock your door and cut your food and put your son in a car seat?"

"Nope. But my mom needed help with stuff like that after her stroke."

"Sometimes I just feel like hitting somebody," Danny confessed wearily, leaning his head back but avoiding the temptation to grab his right shoulder. His ill-advised shoulder ram into the door had caused a flaring pain in his back but he was trying to hide it.

Kono smiled sadly at his honest admission and she placed her hand on his knee in support. "Mom used to get really frustrated too, after her stroke. She never hit anybody though." They exchanged a soft smile at that as Kono went on. "She just learned how to do things differently. There are some things she still needs help with but mostly she learned how to do things the way her body will allow her to do them now."

They sat in silence for a moment, Kono giving Danny time to process things. He was smart and intuitive and he was very adept at reading between the lines when people spoke. It was part of what made him a great detective. She figured there was no need to hit him over the head with it; he'd figure out what she was getting at eventually.

Eventually happened rather quickly. He turned and looked at Kono. "You think I should try the OT."

"Not really my decision to make, Danny."

"I can't do it, Kono. I can't get through a day thinking that this might be permanent," Danny admitted in a whisper. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the door again.

"Danny, you are the strongest, toughest man I know. How you've gotten through this past month amazes me."

Danny sighed. He didn't feel strong. He didn't feel tough. He felt weak and helpless and dependent on everybody. "I'm just so done with this."

"I know. I get it. I've been in that same place where you are right now, Danny. It sucks, big time." Kono could relate to some degree but at least she was never told that she would never use her leg again. That added a whole new level to Danny's fear and worry that she never had to deal with.

Opening his eyes, Danny shook his head. "That PCR, she's given up on me. I can't do that. I can't give up." He gazed out across his front lawn, the one he couldn't tend to anymore, the one Eric had mowed. Once again, he was thankful for his nephew. The kid had stepped up big time, along with his ohana.

"Danny." Kono waited but he continued to stare straight ahead. "Danny, look at me, brah."

Danny turned to her. Two beautiful but battle-weary pools of blue peered back at her. "Figuring out how to do things left handed doesn't mean that you're giving up. It just means you'll be ambidextrous when your right arm starts working again." She grinned, rather proud of that logic.

"Kono…" Danny shook his head and sighed.

Kono's heart was breaking for her friend. She placed her hand tenderly on top of his good hand. "And it means you'll be making every effort to spend as much time alone with your kids as you possibly can. Just you and them." She hoped using his children as incentive wouldn't backfire.

"You mean no Neanderthals teaching them how to throw hand grenades?"

Kono laughed, relieved that he had taken the comment well. "Only when you want him here. But, it'll take some hard work."

"I'm not afraid of hard work."

"I know you're not."

"I'll call her," Danny huffed, referring to his PCR. "Damn rookie. Help me up, huh?"

Kono smiled as she rose to her feet and then helped Danny up. "Let's get inside and see if that little stunt you just pulled caused your back to bleed again. Talk about trouble magnets. You're getting as bad as that Super SEAL you like to complain about."


	62. Chapter 62

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N A huge thank you to all of my loyal readers and especially to those who take a minute or two to write a review. Reviews truly inspire me to keep writing. Without your reviews, this story would have ended a long time ago.

A/N I should have tagged the last chapter as having a tip of the hat to Scott but I didn't think of it as I threw the piece in at the last moment. When Danny and Kono hug onscreen he always gives her a kiss as well (and Kono is smiling the biggest smile), at least that's what it seems to me. Anybody else notice that or is it just me?

A/N Finally, a happy and safe Labor Day weekend to all of you, whether in the US or not. Prayers that all are safe from the East Coast and Pacific ocean hurricanes.

H50 H50 H50

Since it was his evening to do Danny's PT, Chin pulled up to his friend's house and parked in the street. He was a little early but right now Danny had nothing but time so he never seemed to mind an early arrival.

Stepping from the car, Chin noticed that the Camaro was gone and figured Eric was either still at the lab or out with Tiffany. He was happy for him. Eric was still a bit green around the edges but he had matured quite a bit since moving to Hawaii. Danny's steady influence was a big part of that, Chin was sure. As much as Eric drove his uncle crazy, Chin also knew that the two quirky men loved and cared for each other deeply. Eric's help had been invaluable to Danny as it allowed him to remain in his own home despite the debilitating injury and subsequent prolonged recovery process. It gave Danny a sense of normalcy that he could never achieve recuperating at Steve's house or elsewhere. For that blessing, all who loved Danny would be eternally grateful.

Moving to the front door, Chin recalled Kono telling them that Danny couldn't unlock and open the front door by himself one-handed. He and Steve and some of the other guys were going to come and fix it for him so he didn't have to go around to the back door just to enter his own house. They also planned to change the faucets in Danny's shower so it was easier to manipulate with one hand. Poor guy had been nearly scalded a few times already.

When Danny didn't answer the door right away Chin figured he was in the "little boys room" and pulled out his phone to play a turn of chess while he waited. He had secretly started playing chess matches through an app on his phone hoping to improve enough to one day actually be able to beat Danny at least once. Knocking on the door a second time after he had made his move, Chin was beginning to wonder where Danny might be. He wouldn't have tried driving, would he? No, Eric must have the car.

Chin's thoughts now wandered to his friend's backyard. Danny had planned to build a swing set with a tree house for Charlie in his back yard last month but then he'd been attacked and couldn't do it. He decided he'd get some of the guys together to do that, too. Charlie was ohana now. If Danny couldn't do it for him, they would.

When Danny still hadn't answered the door a few minutes later, Chin pulled out his cell and tried calling Danny. It went straight to voicemail so he left a message saying he was outside. Next he tried Eric but that also went straight to voicemail. He hung up without leaving a message.

Stuffing his phone back in his pocket Chin debated a moment and then pulled his keys out of his pocket thinking maybe his friend was having a nerve attack and couldn't get to the door. Danny had given him a spare key for just such cases. He slipped the key into the lock and entered as quietly as he could. Danny wasn't in the living room and the TV was off. Everything was quiet, but that didn't mean much. Other than heavy breathing, Danny didn't make any noise during the attacks.

Not wanting to call out and potentially aggravate Danny even further, Chin proceeded quietly through the house, right hand instinctively hovering over his empty right hip. Having checked all the rooms and finding them all empty, Chin then went to the back of the house. The big glass doors were locked but he peered into the backyard anyway just in case. Danny wasn't there, either.

"Where the hell is he?" Chin wondered aloud. Really becoming worried now, Chin pulled out his phone again.

"McGarrett."

"Steve, it's Chin. I hate to bother you but I'm at Danny's to do his PT and he's not here and not answering his cell. Neither is Eric. I cleared the house. Nobody's here. He say anything about going somewhere?"

"Not to me. Maybe he's with Mindy," Steve offered.

"You think so? After what he said the other day about feeling like he was cheating on Melissa?"

Steve huffed out a sigh. "No, I guess not. Could he have gone for a walk? He's been trying to get out more."

"It's possible," Chin said. "I know staying at home so much is getting on his nerves."

He stepped out onto the front lanai and looked around. "I'll check up and down the street."

Steve went instantly into team leader mode. "Okay, that's good. I'll keep trying his cell. Call Kono. Have her try Eric again and have her put a trace on Danny's phone, the Camaro too if we don't know for sure that Eric has it. After you check the street I want you to go back in the house and see what you can find that might give us a clue. I'm on my way."

Kono was uneasy and concerned when Chin told her that they couldn't find Danny. "Chin, yesterday was pretty rough for Danny." Respecting their friend's privacy, Kono hadn't shared much other than the fact that he couldn't open the front door of his own house by himself anymore.

"What do you mean? The door?" Chin spoke while he jogged lightly down the street.

"There was more than that." Kono felt it needed to be told now. "His PCR told him he should start occupational therapy to learn how to do things left handed."

"Seems to make sense to me," Chin said, not seeing the point. "Can this wait?"

"No. Well, I don't know if it means anything or not. He was really upset, Chin. The PCR is young and inexperienced and has the bedside manner of a water buffalo. She basically told him that there was no hope of getting use of his arm back."

"Damn," Chin mumbled quietly. "I can't imagine how he feels."

"We talked and he was really down. Said he was done and that he couldn't get through a day thinking this was permanent." Kono's voice was quivering now, truly perturbed by the disturbing thoughts running through her head. "You don't think…?"

"No! No I don't. Danny worries and complains and he's anxious about everything but he's tough and he would do anything to be close to his kids. So, no! Don't even go there, Kono."

Two short minutes later, after hanging up with Chin, Kono pulled her laptop out and began trying to locate Danny's phone, while simultaneously calling Eric with her cell. She had better luck than Chin.

"Eric Russo."

"Eric, hi, it's Kono."

"Aloha Officer," Eric began. He was adapting to island life much quicker than his uncle had. "If you're looking for those lab results, I emailed them to you a while ago just like you asked."

"No. I got them thanks. It's not about that. Do you have the Camaro with you?"

"Yeah, not a scratch on it, I swear," Eric replied nervously.

Kono would have laughed if she weren't so worried. She could hear voices in the background and it was obvious that Eric was still at work. "I believe you. Look, Chin is at your uncle's house and he's not answering the door. Did he say anything about changing plans this evening?"

"Haven't seen him since breakfast," Eric answered. "He's probably in the can."

Kono rolled her eyes. "Chin's cleared the house. He's not there." She heard voices in the background. Apparently the lab was busy.

"Maybe he took a walk. He's been doing that sometimes. Gets a bit stir crazy."

"You're probably right," Kono said. She heard somebody calling Eric's name and Eric asking him to hold on. "Hey, I can tell you're still at work so I'll let you go," she added.

"Yeah, it's been a busy day," Eric agreed, before answering a question on his end of the line and then returning. "Let me know when you find him, huh?"

Across town, as Steve sped towards Danny's house he kept trying to get a hold of him. "Where the hell are you, Danny?" he growled into his friend's voicemail. "Answer the damn phone."

Meanwhile, after he walked up and down the street and side street of Danny's corner lot, Chin went through the house again, not finding anything out of the ordinary except a pot of untouched cold food on the stove. He had been there enough times the past few weeks that he was fairly aware of how everything looked. His gun-safe was locked. Nothing seemed out of place.

His phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket. "Whatcha got cuz?"

"I got a spot on Danny's phone," Kono said worriedly, her fears ramping up again, despite Chin's confident words to the contrary. She gave him the information.

"You sure, Kono?" Chin didn't want it to be true. Damn.

"Of course I'm sure. It's not rocket science. I've tracked a phone before, cuz," Kono replied sharply, concern getting the best of her.

"Kono…"

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I'm worried, too. If it helps you feel better, his gun-safe is locked."

"Yeah. Yeah, that's good to hear." Kono breathed a bit easier at that.

"I'll call Steve and meet him there. I'll let you know what I find out."

"I can meet you there, too," Kono said, still eager for good news on their friend.

"I think you should stay home. Somebody needs to get some rest. I'll call you when I know anything. Then you can bring Lou and Abby up to speed." With a frantic sigh, Chin locked up Danny's house as he called Steve again, not relishing having to relay this bit of information on Danny's location and purposely avoiding mention of the concerns Kono had voiced. He knew Danny well. Her anxiety was misplaced.

"McGarrett."

Chin spoke into the phone while running to his car. "Steve, Kono got a hit on Danny's phone. He's at Queens Medical Center."


	63. Chapter 63

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N The various ideas about why Danny is at Queens have been interesting and intriguing, albeit wrong. I have to say, though, that my personal favorite was .73 who guessed that BAMF Danny was there to go after the PCR – left handed.

A/N Some parts of this chapter may be considered disturbing as it touches on mental illness and suicide (don't worry, not Danny). I've tried to be gentle but please proceed with caution. I am not a medical professional. If my medical portions are inaccurate or unbelievable, please remember that this is a story for entertainment purposes only.

A/N Parts in italics are "flashbacks".

H50 H50 H50

Heart pumping, head spinning, Steve rushed into the emergency room and went straight to the check-in desk flashing his badge. "I'm looking for my partner Detective Danny Williams. I was told…." As he spoke his brain registered what he had seen when he rushed in and he did a double-take. Sure enough, there was Danny pacing back and forth between two rows of chairs in the back of the room. Steve heaved a sigh of relief at seeing his brother alive and upright. "Never mind."

A slightly swollen left eye that was beginning to darken highlighted Danny's pale face. Underneath it, a blood spotted bandage covered a gash on his cheekbone with more red bruising covering the left side of his face. He was wearing a barely buttoned shirt under the ever-present sling, the left sleeve hanging open loosely, over a pair of gym shorts and slip-on shoes. A disposable cold pack was in his hand and he was sporting bandages on both knees, while his shins were dotted with cuts.

Steve approached him. "Danny, are you all right?"

Clearly on edge, Danny hadn't even seen him and startled at the voice. "Huh?" he asked, confused.

"We've been looking for you. What happened? Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"What?" Danny couldn't keep up. Mind racing, head pounding, body aching, he kept diverting his attention from Steve to the doors into the emergency rooms and back again. His whole body shifted with each change of focus.

"Danny, what the hell happened?" Steve's stress was making him react in anger, his raised voice reflecting his current state of mind. "Are you alright?" He pointed to Danny's face, glanced at the cold pack in Danny's hand that wasn't even being used and then down at the bandages on his knees and cuts on his legs.

Danny ran a shaking hand through his hair. "She… she wasn't breathing."

"Who? Grace?" Now Steve was shaking. Not Gracie!

"No. No." He repeated as he scrubbed the back of his shaking hand over the right side of his face. His voice quivering, Danny was still shaking, looking back again at the swinging doors.

"Danny? Danny, look at me." Steve grabbed Danny by the shoulders and turned him to face him. Danny's eyes were wide and he seemed to be heading towards a state of emotional shock so Steve needed to help him out of it before it became a problem. He forced himself to calm his own voice. "Look at me, Danno." He shook Danny gently. "Look at me."

Finally, Danny seemed to be able to focus his eyes on Steve although his breathing was still fast and shuddering.

"Easy Danno. That's it. Take it easy, D." This was very unlike Danny. He had a very stressful job and handled it well. Sure, he'd rant and worry and complain, but bottom line, he was always in control even in the most dangerous and tense situations.

Danny closed his eyes, puffed his cheeks and blew his breath out slowly. Soon his breathing began to slow down to a more normal rhythm, but then the room spun and he swayed in place. Allowing Steve to lead him to some vacant chairs in the corner of the room, he sunk down in an exhausted heap. "Who's in there Danny?" Steve asked.

"Melissa," was the distraught man's simple, whispered reply.

Steve couldn't help the sigh of relief. Not that he wished ill on Melissa, but he was very relieved that Grace was okay. "Danny, just let me tell Chin, Kono and Eric that I found you and then you can tell me what happened." Steve picked up his phone and began to tap out a quick text.

"What?"

"Chin went to your place to do the PT and you weren't there. Took us a while to find you."

"Oh."

Steve finished his text and ran an assessing gaze over his friend. There was nothing life threatening but he was pretty banged up. The cuts on his legs needed cleaning and some probably needed stitching, especially his knees. The gash on his cheek definitely needed attention and the redness on the left side of his face would unquestionably bloom into a colorful mosaic. "You need to get checked out by a doctor."

His head was pounding, his body ached, his back hurt fiercely. "I'm fine."

Steve gave a disgruntled huff but he wasn't going to argue the point quite yet. Danny had at least progressed to a two-word answer. He pointed to the cold pack in Danny's shaking hand. "That helps more if you use it."

Danny looked at it as if seeing it for the first time. "It's warm."

Steve took it from him, and then turned Danny's face towards him so he could get a better look at his eye. "Your face is swelling. I'll see if I can get you another one." Chin had said there was food on the stove at Danny's house but it was cold and undisturbed. Danny probably hadn't eaten any dinner. He figured that Danny's shakiness could be partially from low blood sugar, along with the obvious adrenaline dump. Telling Danny to wait a moment, Steve bought a chocolate bar from the vending machine. It wasn't healthy but it would help raise his blood sugar for a short while until he could get Danny to eat a real meal. "Here ya go, buddy." He pealed the wrapper back and handed it to Danny who accepted it with a silent nod.

As Danny ate the chocolate, Steve stepped away again and managed to come back with a fresh cold pack. Sitting down he pressed it against Danny's cheek. Danny hissed at the cold but then took the pack and held it against his throbbing face.

"You want to tell me what happened?" Steve prompted.

Danny sighed. He was more aware now; the headache was still there but he was feeling more in control again. "Melissa was texting me like she usually does." Steve knew that Danny was pretty much serving as Melissa's counselor/therapist as she tried to work her own way through this PTSD. She refused to go to a professional, claiming that she didn't need one and Danny refused to turn his back on her. So, he continued to provide help that, as a police officer, he was only vaguely trained to give. Danny had been through more than his fair share of rough, traumatic times over the years so he had some idea of what she was going through, but that didn't give him all the answers. Steve knew how difficult it was on Danny.

Danny continued. "It's really tough to help her at all by text so I tried calling her, again like I usually do. Sometimes she answers, sometimes she doesn't. This time she didn't. She seemed more upset than usual so while I was texting her I called for an Uber to pick me up."

Steve started to interrupt in protest but Danny headed him off. "I knew you guys were on a case so I didn't bother you with it." Steve nodded his head in understanding.

Just then, Chin came through the doors of the emergency room at a slightly more sedate pace than Steve had earlier. He spotted his two friends immediately and stepped over to them, immensely relieved that apparently Kono's fears were entirely wrong. "Danny, you okay?" he asked quietly, eyeing the cold pack pressed against his face. Danny pulled the pack away as he looked up. Chin whistled. "Quite the shiner, brah. Who'd you tangle with?"

"I screwed up. I completely screwed up." It certainly wasn't the answer they were expecting and it left Danny trembling again.

"Relax Danny. Just tell us what happened," Chin encouraged as he sat down on Danny's other side, exchanging a worried glance with Steve.

Steve summarized quickly. "Melissa was texting him again. He called an Uber and went over there."

"It was a mistake, a big freaking mistake. I shouldn't have gone there." He proceeded to tell them what happened.

 _Melissa was standing in her living room staring at Danny. Her whole body trembling. She shook her head side to side. "Get out of here. Leave me alone." Her voice was quivering as she backed away from him, something in her hand. A flash of amber. A pill bottle maybe?_

 _Danny froze in place. Was she afraid of_ _him_ _? He extended his left hand out in front of him in a placating gesture. "I can't leave you alone like this, Melissa. I'm not going to hurt you. Please, it's okay. Let's just sit down and talk."_

" _Go away, Danny. Just go away." She looked around frantically as if searching for something, someone. Someone who would hurt or help, Danny couldn't tell._

" _Melissa, there's no danger here. I'm not going to hurt you."_

" _Why did you come?"_

" _I want to help you, honey." Danny stood stock still, not wanting to unnerve her further._

" _I didn't ask you to come. I don't want you here."_

"So, I offered to make her some tea to try to settle her down, make things feel normal. She always says tea calms her. She didn't say anything. Just stood there staring at me." He pulled the cold pack away from his eye as a thought occurred to him. "Actually, she seemed to be staring at my arm." Not sure what to do with that revelation, he sighed, his face clearly showing his emotional upheaval. "She ran into the bathroom and I knew. I just knew." His voice was quivering and he glanced up at the doors to the area where the doctors were working on Melissa as he placed the ice pack back on his face and went on. "But she had locked herself in before I could get there."

" _Melissa? Melissa? Whatever you're thinking, just don't do it. I'm right here and I'm going to help you. Talk to me, Melissa."_

" _I can't take it anymore," she sobbed. "I just can't take it anymore."_

" _I know you're scared Melissa. I know you've been scared for a long time, but I want to help you. And there are other people, too Melissa. People who can help you more than I can."_

" _Nobody can help."_

" _Yes, yes we_ _can_ _help you, Melissa. Just let me in Melissa, okay? Let me in so I can help you."_

" _I love you Danny."_

" _Okay, so open the door honey. Let me hold you." Then all was silent except for her quiet sobs. Danny had a very bad feeling about this. "Melissa?"_

" _Goodbye Danny," Melissa whispered from the other side of the door and then he heard the rattle of pills._

"So I kicked the door in." Both Steve and Chin were surprised that he was able to do that given the injury he was still suffering from but both knew that a person could rise to an occasion when needed. That was apparently exactly what Danny had done.

 _Melissa had already swallowed a handful of pills when the door came crashing in. Danny grabbed the bottle and read the label. A tranquilizer. "Shit." He rummaged in the cabinet and found a bottle of Ipecac syrup. It would induce vomiting and get at least some of the drugs out of her system. "How many did you take Melissa?"_

" _You're scaring me Danny."_

 _Danny struggled to take the cap off the sealed Ipecac bottle one handed. Melissa tried to move around him to leave the small bathroom but he took a step and blocked the door with his body. "How many did you take?" he asked again, trying to keep his voice even and calm so as not to scare her further, even as he continued to struggle with the bottle and block the door._

" _Let me go," she said, her voice sounding a bit slurred as she tried to move around him. "I want to lie down."_

 _Danny finally managed to get the top off the bottle. "No, no, no. You're staying right here. You need to drink this." He reached out to her but she pushed his hand away. He reached around her with his one good arm, trying to pin her in place while holding the bottle, trying to get it to her lips. "Come on Melissa, drink this."_

"Man, she put up a fight," Danny said with a shudder. "She had energy. There was still time. There was still time" he repeated solemnly.

 _Melissa bucked and thrashed against Danny's restraining arm as he tried to get the liquid down her throat. With one strong effort Melissa managed to push backwards and shove Danny's injured back up against the wall._

 _Grunting in pain, Danny's vision grayed at the edges before Melissa's legs suddenly gave out. Neither of them able to stay upright, they both collapsed to the left as Melissa's now dead weight dragged a fatigued and hurting Danny down. His face struck the side of the sink and he lost his grip on the bottle as he twisted his body to cushion her fall. Hitting the unforgiving tiles, the bottle crashed and shattered, the potentially life saving liquid spreading wasted and useless across the white tile floor beneath them._

Chin pointed to Danny's cut and bruised face with an eyebrow raised in silent query. As Danny nodded affirmatively Steve posed a verbal question. "How's your back?"

Finally allowing himself to even consider such a question, Danny paused a moment before answering honestly. "Hurts like hell."

Steve reached behind Danny and nudged him to sit forward in the hard plastic chair. Both Steve and Chin then took a look at Danny's back, a spot of blood visible through his shirt where it covered his still unstitched wound.

"It's bleeding. We should get you checked out now," Steve suggested.

"I'm fine."

"Danny…," Chin tried now.

"I'm not going anywhere until I know… until I know if she's…" He choked back a sob, using the cold pack to shield his eyes before reining himself in, sitting up and looking right at one and then the other of them, eyes filled with panic and dread as deep as the ocean that shared their color. "She died, alright? Right there in my arms on the floor of the freaking bathroom, she died."


	64. Chapter 64

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Some parts of this chapter may be considered disturbing as it touches on mental illness and suicide. Please proceed with caution.

A/N To the guest reviewer who commented about this being a "Danny whump/Steve is always right/Scott Caan love fest", well, two out of three ain't bad. Not sure where you come up with 'Steve is always right' from this story. Yes, I write him as being truly devoted friends with Danny to the point where they feel like brothers since so many readers love the bromance., but 'Steve is always there' might be more appropriate. As for where it's going, as I've said in my other Author's Notes, I'm just taking it where it leads me. Yes, I have things thought out ahead but sometimes reader reviews/requests will make me change things a bit. This is an experiment for me now, to write as I go and try to respond to requests. Hope you are enjoying.

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"Alright partner. It's okay. We'll wait right here." Steve and Chin both knew that although Danny was wiped out physically and emotionally what he needed most was assurance that Melissa was going to be okay. Neither man was sure at all that that assurance would ever come but they would sit here with Danny until their best friend was ready to move. If Danny's back began bleeding more that would change things but right now they both felt they could wait a bit longer.

"I tried," Danny said, voice strained with emotion.

 _Hurting but aware, Danny eased Melissa's lifeless body to the floor with his one working arm and then pressed his fingers to her neck. Finding a heartbeat he then bent down and put his ear to her face. His back hurt like hell and pieces of broken glass were digging into his legs where he knelt but he paid them no heed. She wasn't breathing. "Damn it."_

 _Tipping her head back as best he could with one hand, he then pinched her nose closed and forced in a strong breath. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he placed it on the floor next to him before forcing another breath into her lungs. Then he dialed 911 and put the phone on speaker. Another breath._

" _911, what's your emergency," he heard over the phone._

" _This is Detective Danny Williams, Five-0, badge 7576." He paused to force another breath into Melissa's lungs. "I need an ambulance." He gave them the address between two more breaths to Melissa. "Overdose of tranquilizers." Another breath. "No, I don't know how much she took." He forced another breath into her lungs. "I've started rescue breathing." Another breath. "Yes, she has a pulse." He checked again just to be sure before breathing more air into her lungs. "In the bathroom. Down the hall to the left from the front door." He forced another breath. "Yes, I'll unlock the door."_

 _He gave her a few more breaths and checked again for a heartbeat. Finding it, he struggled to his feet and rushed to unlock the door, stumbling once before catching himself. Breathing for two, still suffering from his injury and infection, and afraid for Melissa, he was truly spent and feeling lightheaded but he didn't dare give up._

 _When he returned to Melissa's side, kneeling down again into the glass, he gave her a breath and then checked her pulse and was horrified to no longer find one. He gave her another breath and began one-handed chest compressions. Alternating between rescue breathing and chest compressions, Danny was soon drenched in sweat and shaking with fatigue. He barely registered the presence of the EMT's when they finally entered the small bathroom and ushered him out._

"I tried. I really tried but I only have one freaking hand and I couldn't do it right and it all took way too long."

"You did the best you could," Chin said in his calm, reassuring tone.

"Did the EMT's check you out?" Steve asked.

"Huh? No. They were kinda busy with Melissa." Danny closed his eyes and shivered remembering the spasms that jolted her body when they used the defibrillator. Then remembering more clearly, he added more. "They gave me the cold pack in the ambulance. Slapped a gauze on my face and my knees."

"It's bleeding," Chin pointed out. A fine line of red was trickling down his face from beneath the patch. "Definitely needs some stitches."

"I'm not leaving. I'm fine," Danny said strongly, wiping the blood away with the back of his hand. There was more on his leg, but Chin chose to ignore that right now.

Steve checked his watch. It was hours past dinnertime and Danny hadn't eaten yet. Probably hadn't had anything to drink either or taken his meds. His partner's mind was understandably elsewhere but now his friends would make sure he took care of himself. He had no idea how long Danny had even been here; he may have missed lunch, too for all he knew. His body was still fighting the infection in his back so he didn't have the strength he used to have, didn't have the reserves that were normally relied on in situations like this. He was obviously drawing on his last ounce of strength just to remain upright in the chair. "You need to get some food in you."

"I just ate."

"Danny, that was a chocolate bar," Steve admonished before turning to explain to Chin. "Had to get his blood sugar up. He was shaking."

"I'll leave my number at the desk and we'll go get something to eat in the cafeteria," Chin suggested, moving to rise. "Come on."

"Not going anywhere until I hear something," Danny insisted again, refusing to move.

Steve and Chin exchanged a worried glance over their friend's head. They understood how he felt and admired his always-fierce devotion. But, as often happened with Danny, he was being loyal to a fault. There was no guarantee they'd ever hear anything. "Okay pal," Steve said. "You stay here with Chin and I'll go get you something to eat, okay?"

"Yeah," Danny whispered with a nod, head bowed. "Yeah, sure."

"I can go," Chin offered, surprised that Steve was not only giving in to Danny but also willing to leave Danny's side.

"It's fine," Steve assured him, rising quickly. "You stay with him. I'll be right back."

"No pineapple," Danny pleaded with a crooked half-smile as Steve stepped away.

Steve shook his head fondly as Chin chuckled aloud. It was good to see a glimmer of the real Danny Williams.

"I screwed up Chin," Danny said guiltily when Steve left.

Chin shook his head. "You can't blame yourself for this, Danny. You did everything you could."

"But if I hadn't gone there..."

"If you hadn't gone there then there would have been nobody there to do CPR and get her help," Chin interjected. Chin was ready to tell him that he had saved Melissa's life for the third time but they just didn't know what was going on behind the doors.

Danny sighed. Logically, what Chin said made sense but he couldn't shake the feeling that he had somehow pushed Melissa over the edge.

"What if I'm her 'trigger' or something? What if she just can't handle seeing me?"

"Then she has some real issues that would have shown themselves sooner or later anyway. It's never that simple. And why you? You've been helping her all along. You've never hurt her. Never did anything but good to her."

"I never saw this coming," Danny whispered.

"Nobody did, brah."

"But I should have. She has nobody else. I should have known. I should have been there for her."

"Whao, whoa, stop right there my friend. You have most definitely been there for her. You've been there for her at a time when she should have been there for you."

"I knew she was struggling man, but I never thought she'd do this."

"These things often come as a shock, Danny. What's important is that you've been trying to help her. You never turned your back on her. You went over there tonight, against her wishes because you suspected that something was way off. You did all you could, brah."

Danny just shook his head. He couldn't think straight. "I don't know."

"Danny, you're looking for answers that we may never have." Chin popped out of his chair and grabbed a handful of tissues from a nearby box. He handed them to Danny as he sat down again.

Danny dropped the warming ice pack onto the floor and accepted the offering with a nod of thanks before wiping his check and then leaning over and wiping the blood from his legs, groaning as he struggled to lift himself upright again. Man, he hurt and felt like he could sleep for a week – even standing up.

"You okay?" Chin asked.

"I'm fine," Danny lied again.

Yeah sure, Chin thought with a barely noticeable shake of his head. "Did you tell them you're waiting for word on her?" Chin nodded towards the front desk.

"Yeah."

"And?"

"They said they can't tell me anything."

That's what Chin was afraid of. "Hipaa laws, brah. You could sit here all night and they can't tell you anything."

"Unless she tells them it's okay," Danny pointed out. That was the hope he was clinging to.

"True," Chin admitted.

Danny wiped at the blood again and then slowly rose from his seat and tossed the tissues into the trash. Spurred by Chin's query, he approached the desk to inquire again after Melissa's condition. He was told, again, that they couldn't tell him anything. Frustrated, he paced for a minute before returning exhaustedly to his seat to wait some more.


	65. Chapter 65

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Some of you knew that Chin was the right man for the job to keep Danny settled emotionally and some of you knew that Steve likely had a secret agenda when he left. It's so amazing to me that readers pay that much attention to my writing and feel that my characterizations are that close to the real things that you can imagine what the characters will do in a given situation.

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"Tell me she's gunna be okay, Chin." Danny pleaded. "Tell me, because I really need to hear it." His desperation showed clearly in his words, in the emotional tenor of his voice, in the strained look on his face and in the rocking of his exhausted and beaten body in the hard, plastic chair - and it tore at Chin's heart.

"Danny…" Chin didn't know what to say, finding himself choking up in response to Danny's intense emotional pain. He couldn't make any such assurance. He sat close by his friend's side and lent as much strength and encouragement as he could but he couldn't make such a promise that Melissa would be all right.

"If only I hadn't screwed up the CPR."

"Screwed up the CPR?" Chin asked, incredulous. "You only have one working hand and she was alive when you hit those ER doors so you must have done something right."

Danny was basically incapable of listening to any kind of logic right now. The thoughts were just tumbling disjointedly through his head and coming out as words. "Three years. We've been together for three years, Chin and it could all end just like that because I didn't see it coming. I'm supposed to know her right? I'm supposed to know when something's wrong. I should have known. Why didn't I know?"

"Danny, I keep telling you, this is not your fault." Chin knew that Danny was simply too distraught, too shocked, too exhausted, too overwhelmed, in too much pain and feeling too guilty to accept that fact right now, but he would keep saying it. It was the truth and it needed to be said.

"Easy to say from over there."

"Easy to say because it's the truth."

"I was so focused on being bothered by how Melissa walked out on me when I was in the hospital that I never really considered why she did it. I mean, if I had bothered to think about her instead of myself I would have noticed something."

"Danny, you thought of her all the time." Chin wondered how Danny could have it all so backwards. "You explained to each of us why she left, what was happening to her, why she needed space. You texted her and talked to her, tried to get her to go to counseling, tried to counsel her yourself when she wouldn't go." Did he seriously think he could have done more?

Danny shook his head in denial; his feelings of guilt pressing down on him like a weight. "I should have done more."

That answered that question. Chin tried to change perspective a little. "You know, when Malia was killed, I carried that burden of guilt the same as you are now."

"But that wasn't your fault. You were put in an impossible situation. You did everything you could."

"Exactly. You told me that at the time too, but I didn't believe it, couldn't believe it even. I see it now though. Things will become more clear in time for you, as well."

Danny sighed, scrubbing his left hand down his face and then wincing and snatching his hand away when it caused the pain in his damaged cheek to flare. "Why won't they tell me something? Huh? I need to know, Chin. I need to know something."

"Did you try using your badge?" Chin asked. Neither man was apt to abuse the privileges of the badge but Chin figured this seemed like it might be a time when it would be acceptable to try to push it a little bit.

Danny turned to look at Chin and puffed out a frustrated exhale. "Didn't do shit for me," he admitted.

They were quiet for a few moments now, sitting shoulder to shoulder, Chin offering strong and silent support and Danny silently appreciating it, before Danny spoke again. "What if she doesn't make it, Chin? I mean, freaking one-handed chest compressions and tipping her head back for rescue breathing with only one hand? It was all wrong. She died once already. What if what I did wasn't enough? Huh? What then?"

"Then you go on," Chin told him quietly, swallowing back his own painful memories. "You take care of yourself. You eat, you sleep, you love your kids and you let your friends help. You move on."

Just then, Steve came back with a sandwich and a bottle of water for Danny. "Eat." His approach was a stark contrast to Chin's.

Barely registering Steve's arrival and not really feeling much like eating, Danny didn't move.

"Eat, Danny," Steve pressed, as he sat down next to him again and shoved the box in Danny's lap.

"Anybody ever tell you that you have the finesse and subtlety of a baboon?" Danny growled.

Steve smirked.

Chin glanced at Steve and shook his head before leaning in to Danny and speaking quietly. "No matter what happens with Melissa," Chin reminded Danny gently, "you need to take care of yourself."

Eager to get Steve and Chin off his back Danny opened the box containing the sandwich as Steve opened the bottle for him and held it until he was ready for it. "Thanks," Danny said, acknowledging the offering before taking the first bite. The food felt heavy in his stomach but he forced it down, managing almost half the sandwich and most of the water before he stopped, placing the sandwich in the container on his lap.

"Danny, come on partner. You have to eat." Steve pushed him more.

"What did it look like I was just doing, Steven? Macramé?"

"You ate less than half a sandwich. Charlie could eat that much." Steve nudged the container and demanded again. "Eat."

With no energy to argue, Danny picked the sandwich up and took another bite, chewing thoroughly. He gagged slightly and was barely able to swallow the small piece down, pressing his mouth with the back of his hand while still holding the sandwich.

Watching Danny force the food down to satisfy Steve and then nearly bring it back up, Chin had had enough. "Okay, you're done," he said, grabbing the sandwich from Danny's hand and dropping it back into the container before placing it on the empty chair next to him. "We're taking you home, Danny. It's getting really late, they're not telling you a thing and you're totally wiped out. Enough already."

"You can go. No reason for you to stay." Danny now pressed the back of his hand to his wounded cheek again, pulling away with a small smear of blood.

Chin sighed. He understood how Danny felt and admired his loyalty but his personal priority was making sure Danny took care of himself. "We're here to make sure you don't keel over. You need to be treated by a doctor and get home to bed," he persisted.

"He's okay, Chin. No need to go home yet." Steve said. He looked Chin in the eye over Danny's bowed head. "Trust me."

"Alright." Chin nodded. He had no idea what Steve was getting at. Danny was a wreck and about as far from okay as you could get and still be sitting upright, but he trusted Steve so he nodded again. "Alright."

Back to waiting, Chin kept trying to get Danny to agree to at least be seen by a doctor while he awaited news on Melissa. As stubborn as he was loyal, he adamantly refused, continually telling Chin that he could leave if he wanted to but he was waiting right here until he knew how Melissa was doing. He'd keep wiping the blood off of his cheek and his legs as long as they kept bleeding, he told him, and he'd wait. Steve, for his part, remained oddly passive.

A short while later one of the women from the desk approached and told Danny that a doctor wanted to speak with him. Surprised and pleased, Danny jumped at the chance with a fresh surge of energy. She led them to a small sitting room where a doctor met them. After a brief introduction he got down to business. "Detective Williams, under the Hipaa act I am unable to give you any information on the condition of any patient in the hospital without express permission of that patient or written proof that you have permission to receive such information. The fact that you bring a patient in here does not give you any special privileges."

Danny bristled. "I know all this. Why did you drag me in here to tell me what I already know?" He turned away, shaking his head in unconcealed frustration.

"Detective," the doctor proceeded cautiously. "In this case, I have been granted special permission to give you only the slightest bit of information on Ms. Armstrong's condition."

Danny's head snapped up, his heart pounding in his chest, hope blossoming. "She's alive?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes, but unfortunately, that's all I'm allowed to tell you." He held up his hand when Danny started to protest.

Steve spoke up now. "Thank you doctor. We appreciate you telling us that much. It's a great relief." He extended his hand to the doctor and they shook hands.

His mind a jumbled mess, Danny stared blankly as Steve shook the doctor's hand.

The doctor turned back to Danny. "Now, Detective, we need to check you out."

"Huh?" Then Danny realized what the doctor had said. "I'm fine," he mumbled, as his mind was still trying to make sense of it all.

"Danny, you agreed that you'd let the doctors look at you once you heard something," Chin reminded.

"I'm fine."

Steve scoffed loudly.

"You're bleeding in more than one place," the doctor pointed out. "And I have express instructions not to let you leave here until you've been properly treated."

Chin looked at Steve, understanding dawning. 'Trust me,' he had said. A quick call to the Governor while he was buying Danny's sandwich had prompted a call to the hospital that allowed them the tiny bit of information they had been given, the tiny bit of hope that Danny could cling to. It wasn't much, but hopefully it was enough to get Danny home. If Danny had been in better shape, physically and mentally, he would have figured it out as well. The fact that he didn't realize what was going on or even pursue his objection further, gave great testament to his poor condition.

Danny just stood there unmoving. "She's alive? You're sure?" His voice was a whispered rasp as the half sandwich he had forced down sat like a ball of hot lead in the pit of his stomach.

The doctor was already headed to the door and he stopped and turned at Danny's query. "Yes."

The reality finally settling in, Danny let out a deep shuddering breath and nearly collapsed where he stood. Adrenaline failing fast, only the strong support of his friends kept him upright.

"You saved her life, Danny," Steve said with pride, his hand gripped firmly around Danny's bicep. "Again."

"She's okay?" Danny now asked the doctor.

"I didn't say that."

Danny's whole body noticeably vibrated with tension as he looked at the doctor in disbelief.

"Doctor?" Steve questioned harshly.

"I can't say that," the doctor amended. "I can't say any more about her. I'm sorry. Now I have an emergency room to run and other doctors need to speak to families in this room so if you'll follow me we can see to your injuries."

Danny looked from Steve to Chin and back to Steve - his closest friends, his ohana.

"Come on partner," Steve said.

"Let's get you checked out, brah," Chin said. When Danny tried to protest, he went on. "I know, I know, you're fine. Humor me."

Danny was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. When Steve and Chin began to nudge him towards the door, he hadn't the strength to mount a protest.

Hours later, the bleeding wound in Danny's back had been irrigated and repacked and the gash on his face had been carefully stitched to limit scarring. Several cuts on his knees and legs now sported stitches as well. His cheek and eye were bruised and swollen, but his vision was not permanently impaired and there was no sign of a facial fracture.

Beyond that, he was mildly dehydrated and thoroughly exhausted. Nothing a few bottles of Gatorade and a few good nights of sleep wouldn't handle.

They gave him some painkillers and anti-inflammatories, since he had missed taking his hours ago, and sent him home with another ice pack for his face and advice to take his antibiotics and muscle relaxers when he got home and to take it easy for a few days. The physical pain from this evening's events would heal fairly easily.

As they headed out into the dark night Danny paused and turned around. Melissa was there, close by, alive but not well. That's all he knew and might be all he would know for a long time to come. He shook his head and sighed before turning and walking away, feeling like a traitor for leaving her behind.


	66. Chapter 66

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N There are two, related, tips of the hat to Scott in this one.

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"Tiger, get back here. It's time for your medicine. Don't make me call you again," Danny said firmly to his son, filled medicine spoon in his one working hand. After the bone marrow transplant, it was crucial for Charlie to take the anti-rejection medicine as directed but Charlie never took it easily.

Danny had been reading 'Tales of Bunjitsu Bunny' (by John Himmelman) to his son, while Grace had taken a shower. The preschool level chapter book focused on the lessons of discipline, wisdom and restraint needed to be a good warrior and Danny had wondered if maybe he should have Steve read the book, too. Snuggled into his dad's side, Charlie had been completely transfixed as the adventures unfolded. When Grace finished her shower, Charlie had gone off to play while Danny had one-handedly combed through Grace's long, beautiful brown locks. It wasn't easy these days and it wasn't at all necessary, but it was a father-daughter tradition that had remained from Grace's very early days and as long as she came to him, wet-headed and comb in hand, Danny was not about to put a stop to it. That feat accomplished, Danny had moved to the kitchen and prepared Charlie's medicine and was now prepared to give it to him.

"Good luck with that," Grace mumbled as Charlie stopped in his tracks and turned around at his father's stern tone.

Danny moved to where Charlie stood. "Ready?"

"No," was Charlie's emphatic response, complete with arms folded across his chest and lower lip stuck out.

"No?"

"No," Charlie repeated, before dropping his arms and whining. "I don't want to Danno. I don't like it."

"I know you don't, Tiger," Danny said empathetically. "But it's important that you take it. We've talked about that, remember?"

"Yes."

"And you remember our deal?"

"Yeeeeeah." Charlie said slowly as he screwed his face up in a way that was so reminiscent of Danny that it almost made Grace chuckle. "Okay," he finally said.

Danny sat down and Charlie climbed into his lap, reaching up and gently kissing the stitched up wound on Danny's cheek. Danny smiled. "Thanks Tiger. That made my booboo feel all better," Danny said as he held the medicine spoon for the boy to drink. The boy swallowed it immediately, not able to stop the disgusted grimace that crossed his face. "Blech, I hate that stuff!" he said with a scrunched up expression.

"That's my boy," Danny told him, giving him a tight hug and a kiss on top of his head.

"I don't know how you do it," Grace said. "He never takes it that easily with mom or Stan."

Danny couldn't hide the smile of pride that crossed his lips. "We have a deal, right Charlie?"

"Right Danno." Charlie accepted his dad's fist bump and then slid off Danny's lap and headed over to his toy cars to play.

"I know," Grace said, "he's allowed to say the word 'hate' about the medicine when he takes it. I still can't believe it works. Mom and Stan have to beg and bribe him every time. Candy, soda, toys, money, staying up late, you name it, they've tried it."

"Three times a day?"

"Yep. You, on the other hand, are a miracle worker."

Danny shrugged as he stood and headed to the kitchen to wash the medicine spoon out. Grace followed. He certainly used the word 'hate' in his own vocabulary, often directed at Steve, but he really didn't want his sweet young kids using the word, especially because Rachel will use anything she can against him. Allowing Charlie the right to use the word about his medicine helped encourage the little boy to take it. But, that was only part of it. "Well Monkey, it probably helps that I mix the medicine with a spoonful of chocolate syrup."

Grace's eyes grew wide. "Really? Is that allowed?" Grace wordlessly took the tube shaped spoon from her dad and washed it, knowing her dad would try but couldn't do an easy job of it with just one hand.

"Would I do it if it wasn't?" Danny protested good-naturedly, kissing her on the head for her thoughtfulness. "I could tell Charlie really didn't like the taste of the medicine so I tried to come up with something that would make it taste better. When I thought of the chocolate syrup I spoke with the doctor and the pharmacist about it and they said that it was fine to do it."

Grace beamed a smile at her father. He was just the coolest, best dad ever. Many of her friends tried to avoid spending time with their dad, saying they were boring or annoying or totally uncool. Some even went so far as to call them stupid. Grace, on the other hand, cherished her time with Danny. "Did you tell mom about the chocolate syrup?"

"No." As far as Danny was concerned, Rachel could come up with her own ideas. He took the clean spoon from Grace and shook it to get as much water out of it as possible.

Grace grinned the crooked smile she shared with her dad. "I won't either."

"That's up to you." He never wanted to teach his kids to keep secrets from their mom but Grace could make her own decision on this. He placed the medicine spoon in the dish drain to finish drying.

"Danno?"

"What's the matter, Monkey?" He could tell this was serious by the tone of her voice.

"Are you going to tell me how you got those cuts and bruises?" She pointed to the stitches and blue/purple swelling on his cheek and around his eye. "More than just saying it was an accident?" That's what Danny had said when they had been dropped off after school. Grace knew there was more to the story but she hadn't pressed in front of her little brother. This was the first time they'd been alone without Charlie around all day.

"When your brother's asleep. I promise." He wrapped his arm around his daughter's slim yet strong shoulders and kissed her head again. Man, how he loved this girl.

The two left the kitchen and spotted Charlie crawling along the floor pushing two toy cars, one behind the other, while making a siren noise.

"Bath time, Tiger," Danny told him as Grace headed back to the sofa and picked up her book.

"Two more minutes, please Danno?" Charlie looked up at him with those big beautiful brown eyes that he and Grace both got from their mother. "I can't let the bad guys get away."

"Okay Tiger." Danny moved to sit on a straight-back dining room chair. He was so tired and the sofa was just way too inviting right now.

Charlie pushed the black sports car along the floor behind the other car to the other side of the room and around the table. He finally made a screeching noise and brought them to a stop right in front of his father. "We are Five-0. You bad guys are going to jail," he shouted in a pretend gruff voice.

He looked up at Danny then, a huge smile across his face. "I caught the bad guys Danno, just like you do." He turned and looked at his sister. "Did you see that Grace? I caught the bad guys."

"Nice job, Charlie," Grace told him distractedly before turning back to her book.

"That was really great, Tiger. Looks like you got all dirty catching those bad guys though." Danny pointed to Charlie and pretended to find smudges of dirt. "You see? Right there." He tickled Charlie in the belly. "Right there." He tickled him behind the knee. "Oh, and right there." He tickled him under the chin. "You got really, really dirty Detective Williams."

"Yeah, I had to run through the mud to get the bad guys," Charlie agreed, playing along.

"Well, the bad guys will have to go to jail all yucky and dirty, but you're lucky. The good guys get to go into the tub and get all cleaned up."

"Yay!" Charlie jumped to his feet. "You hear that bad guys? I get a bath and you don't."

"I left some clean pj's on my bed. Go get 'em while I run the water."

"The fire trucks ones with the fire doggies or the Tiger ones?"

"You pick."

"Yay!"

When Charlie ran off to pick out his pajamas, Grace called after Danny as he headed to the bathroom to fill the tub with water. "Miracle worker."

An hour later, Charlie was clean and dry, a mellow bedtime book had been read and the little tyke was sound asleep on the sofa bed in the small third bedroom that Danny had used as an office before Eric came along. Getting a real bed in there was on Danny's to-do list now that he had joint custody of Charlie and the boy would be sleeping there regularly like Grace did. Danny quietly pulled the door shut behind him and, leaning back against the wall, paused a moment to garner up a scrap of energy before heading to the living room where Grace was curled up with her book.

He was bone tired. The trauma with Melissa had led to a short night for him just the night before and having the kids by himself all evening was wonderful, but exhausting. Jerry had brought dinner for them tonight and it was surprisingly edible, although looking at the size of Jerry he guessed that shouldn't be a surprise, but the dirty plates were still in the sink. A part of him wished Eric was home this evening. He would have helped give Charlie his bath. The little boy and his big cousin both enjoyed that time together. In all honesty, Eric would have helped with more than just Charlie's bath. He'd been a huge help since Danny was released from the hospital and Danny wasn't so naïve to think that he could have managed here without him, especially without Melissa's help.

As Danny moved into the living room, Grace put her book down in her lap, holding her place with her pointer finger, and smiled at her dad. "He's asleep?"

Danny nodded and wearily sank into the sofa next to her. "Yeah. Whatcha reading?"

"It's a book of plays."

"Oh yeah? Plays? As in more than one?" That was something new to Danny.

"Yep." Grace smiled happily. "All by the same author."

"Oh yeah? Who?"

As Grace showed him the book cover, a tiny hint of pink blushed across her cheeks.

Danny read the name on the cover. "Isn't that your favorite actor? The one on that cop show you like?"

Grace nodded her head.

"He writes plays?"

"Yeah. A bunch of them. They're really good. He wrote a few movies, too. You think maybe we could watch one of them sometime?" Her eager smile grew wider. "He acts in them, too."

"Sure Monkey. We'll watch them if you want." He leaned his head back against the cushion. "Now, you find a good place to stop in that book and then we'll have a little talk before Uncle Steve comes to take care of my back, alright?" At Grace's approving nod, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes to wait.


	67. Chapter 67

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N The tips of the hat in the last chapter were kind of interwoven. The actor/playwright that Grace is drooling over is based on Scott himself. Scott Caan is a prolific writer, usually carrying a notebook with him wherever he goes, even writing between takes on set. He has written a number of plays of different lengths. Most have been produced in local theaters and several have been published. A collection of short plays was compiled and published in a book titled "The Performance of Heartbreak and Other Plays." Published in 2015, it is dedicated to his late mother (may she rest in peace). Related to that, he also writes movie scripts. Three full-length movies of his have made it to the big screen. Acting in all three, he directed two of them and produced the third. The Bunjitsu Bunny book Danny read to Charlie was also kind of a tip of the hat. Scott is a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitzu.

A/N A portion of this chapter is dedicated to my loyal reviewer, online friend and serious Scott fan, Detective Jiju. I hope one day your dream will come true and you will meet him! (And you'll send the first picture to me.)

H50 H50 H50

Grace finished the play she was reading and closed the book. Quietly, she placed it to the side and studied her father as he dozed next to her. She never really got the chance to do this. Danno rarely stayed still long enough for one thing, but he also never wanted her to worry so he would studiously avoid any prolonged scrutiny.

Her gaze naturally went to his right arm as it hung in the sling. His hand was curled almost into a fist. It kind of looked like a claw. For a second she considered touching his hand and trying to straighten them. He wouldn't feel it anyway, she figured. She wondered how much effort it would take. She thought maybe that was part of the PT that Steve or Chin or sometimes Eric did for him but she wasn't sure. They never did the PT with her around. She figured it caused her dad too much pain and he didn't want her to have to watch him endure it. Pondering for another moment, she decided she'd ask him about moving his fingers. She knew she could ask him anything, but she wouldn't ask now, not tonight.

She moved her gaze down to his legs. He was wearing gym shorts – he did that most of the time these days. It was easier, she figured. There were a number of cuts on his shins and knees; some of them were stitched up. She smirked when she remembered Charlie saying the stitched up wounds looked like caterpillars. Kids!

She lifted her eyes now to her father's handsome face. It looked different with his eyes closed. His azure eyes were always sparkling and flashing – from happiness or anger or something else. It didn't matter why; they were always so full of life. Lately, though, they'd looked sad and tired. She knew why. He was still in pain, he couldn't move his arm and he was worried that he never would. Plus, the stab wound he had suffered had nearly killed him. Nobody had told her that exactly, but Eric had come close and she was smart enough to figure it out. What would she have done if she had lost her Danno? She couldn't bear to live without him. She shuddered visibly at the thought, causing her father to stir slightly next to her before settling again.

She turned her gaze to his black eye and the bruised and cut cheek beneath it. They looked like they hurt and she found herself getting angry about whatever had happened to him to cause them.

Grace knew her dad very well. She loved how close they were. Her Danno was always there for her. When she was around he would put down whatever he was doing and be fully attentive to her. When she was around, no matter how sick or tired or injured or how simply rotten he was feeling, he was still always there for her. She, therefore, knew that her dad would be very upset that he had fallen asleep next to her so, when she had finished looking him over, she tried to wake him up subtly. Stretching, she yawned loudly, causing him to stir.

Danny opened his eyes from his light doze when he heard Grace and felt her move.

"That was so good, Danno. Thanks for letting me finish it," Grace said to him, pointing to the book, as he yawned too.

His head still resting back on the cushion, he turned to look at her. "You liked it, huh?"

"Loved it. He's such a good writer."

"Man of many talents?" Danny gently teased his little girl.

Grace smiled. "Yeah. You think I could meet him one day? Lucy would be so jealous."

"Lucy? I thought she had a crush on Uncle Steve." Danny grinned, as he used his left arm to push himself up to a straighter position and then carefully stretched his aching back.

"She is so over that. We were kids then. Took one look at him," Grace pointed at the book of plays as if it were the man himself, "and she forgot all about Uncle Steve."

"She did, did she?" Danny found that rather amusing.

"Uh huh, so anyway, he lives in Los Angeles. Maybe we could go there and find him. You're a detective; you know how to find people."

Danny smiled. "I'm not sure he'd appreciate being stalked, Monkey."

"Oh, but I'd just love to meet him," she said dreamily. "I mean, I know we won't become friends or anything, but if I could just take a selfie with him…" she sighed again.

Danny put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "I'll take a selfie with you. How's that?"

"Perfect." Laughing, Grace picked up her phone and snapped the picture. Danno always made things perfect.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Grace waiting patiently for the promised explanation of her father's new injuries. Danny found it very bizarre that he didn't want to stop talking about teen girl crushes but sadly the topic he had promised they would discuss was even more disconcerting.

"Danno?" Grace prompted.

Danny swallowed back the lump in his throat. "Would you believe it if I told you that Uncle Chin beat me up?"

"No."

"Auntie Kono?"

Grace smirked. "Maybe."

"Uncle Steve?"

Grace laughed now. "Definitely."

"Hey!" Danny objected with a laugh. "That animal couldn't touch me."

"Lou couldn't touch you, but Uncle Steve probably could," Grace informed him with a teasing smile.

"Traitor." Danny grinned. He kissed her on the forehead before sobering. "Nobody beat me up, Monkey."

She knew that. "Then, what happened?" Grace could tell that her dad was having a hard time saying it but she was impatient.

"It was an accident." Danny looked at Grace and held her gaze. He really, really didn't know how to tell her this. He swallowed hard. "I was helping Melissa… " He cleared his throat and tried again. "You know how you haven't seen Melissa…" That didn't feel right either.

"Is Melissa okay, Danno?"

Grace's voice was so soft and tender and caring that it broke Danny's heart to answer. "No, Grace, she's not okay. I hope she will be soon, but right now she's not."

"What's wrong with her? Is she hurt?"

Danny took a deep breath and flinched slightly at the pain that flared through his back. He still forgot sometimes when his mind was elsewhere. "You ever hear of PTSD?"

"I think so," she replied, very uncertain.

While he was happy that she hadn't really been exposed to the idea of PTSD until now, it meant that now Danny had to figure out how to explain it to her. The words 'catastrophic emotional release' popped into his head but he figured that wasn't exactly the right thing to say to a 14 year old. He'd have to make it much simpler than that. "It's a condition, something that happens to some people after something really scary happens to them. Disturbing memories come back to them when they don't want them to."

"Something scary happened to Melissa yesterday?"

"No, not yesterday. A while ago."

"Oh, and the bad memories came back yesterday?"

"Yes."

"And you tried to help her forget them?"

"I tried to help her, yeah."

"The scary thing that happened, was it when her ex-husband stabbed you while you were protecting her?"

Danny puffed out a sigh. He hated that his daughter was exposed to so much violence, even indirectly. "That was part of it, yes. While they were married, he used to hurt her sometimes, so that was part of it, too."

"But why yesterday? Why now?"

"Actually, Monkey, she's been having these feelings for a month or so."

Grace knew right away. "Since you got hurt again."

How did his daughter get so smart? "Yeah."

"I remember when that man taped me to a chair and locked me in that container. Is that PTSD?"

Danny kissed her head, eyes brimming with tears at the memory of what his precious daughter had gone through because of him. The memory of his friend Dave Collins, viciously murdered that same day, also because of him, surfaced as well. "I'm sorry about that, Monkey." His voice cracked.

"It wasn't your fault, Danno. It was the bad man who did it." As many times as Grace said that, or Steve said that or anybody else said that, Danny always blamed himself. "I'm sorry I mentioned it."

"No, no. You can always talk to me, Monkey. I know you still think about it sometimes. So do I. But that's not PTSD. You see, it's different for Melissa. It's worse than just remembering. Along with the memories, things happen inside her. Like her heart will start to beat faster and her breath will feel shorter and her stomach will hurt and she will feel like she feels when she's afraid. For her, it's like it's happening all over again."

"So, she thinks something really scary is happening even though it's not?"

"Exactly."

"That sounds awful." Grace paused to think and Danny gave her the time she needed to work things through. His philosophy was to tell her only as much as she needed to know about things like this and to follow her questions to know where that mark lay. "Did she…? Did Melissa… do that to you?" She pointed to the black eye, stitched up gash and bruising on his face.

"Not intentionally, but I was trying to help Melissa when it happened. We both fell. I hit my cheek. A glass bottle broke." He tried to keep it in as simple and least disturbing language as possible.

"Did she get hurt, too?"

Now came the tricky part. Danny never lied to his children but sometimes the truth, at least the full truth, wasn't something they should hear. He needed to determine where to draw that line. He didn't want to have to tell her about the attempted suicide but if he didn't, eventually the truth would come out and then Grace would feel as if he had lied to her. All he knew right now was that Melissa was still alive. He didn't know if she was in a coma or if she was conscious and refused to allow him to have access to her information. It was beyond frustrating and very unnerving but he had to try and make sense of it for Grace. "Yes, she did, but not from the fall, like me. She… she took too many pills, which made her very, very sleepy. She's in the hospital."

"Can I go see her with you?"

Okay, well, this was even trickier. "I'm sorry Monkey, but neither one of us can go see her right now."

"Why not?"

Trickiest question? He surely hoped so. "Because she needs some alone time. I wish I could tell you more." He wished he knew more. "I really do, but the doctor is not allowed to tell me about how she's doing right now."

Grace paused to think again. When she spoke, her voice was just a whisper, as if she didn't want anybody else to hear what she was about to ask. "Did Melissa try to kill herself? Is that why she took so many pills?"

Danny always tried to stay strong for his children but he couldn't stop the tears that stung his eyes, a few slipping down his cheeks. How did his innocent daughter even know about things like this? He blinked them back, and swallowed the lump in his throat but his voice was rough. "Yes. Yes she did." Danny pulled her into an even tighter hug now and she clung to him as her tears came.

"You tried to stop her, right?" she asked through her tears. She knew the answer. She knew her Danno. He would always try to help.

"I tried. Believe me, I tried." But a part of him still felt like he just hadn't done enough.

Her faith in her father was absolute. "I know you did." She liked Melissa and she couldn't imagine feeling so bad that she'd want to die. "I hope she's okay," Grace sobbed as she continued to cry in her father's strong, loving embrace.

"Danno?" came the sleepy little voice from the hallway as Danny tried to console his fretful daughter. "I can't sleep."

Seeing her little brother, Grace popped up off the sofa and moved away.

Danny didn't know if somehow they had awakened his son or what. They had not been loud. It didn't really matter, though. He was here now. Sniffing, he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "How about I take you back to bed?" Danny offered, trying to rise. But Grace didn't leave; she simply grabbed a box of tissues and moved back towards the sofa. He could see by the look on her face that she didn't want to be left alone right now.

Seeing his sister crying and his dad with tears in his eyes put Charlie on edge and he started to cry as well. "I don't wanna go back to bed, Danno."

Both of his beloved children were crying now; both of his beloved children needed him. He cleared his throat and fought back his own tears. "On second thought, why don't we all just sit here together for a little while? What do you think?"

Charlie nodded and sniffed, climbing onto the sofa and snuggling up to Danny's left side taking the spot beneath Danny's functioning arm that his big sister had just left. Danny turned to Grace. "Come here, Monkey." He yearned to be able to hold Grace with his right arm as he was holding Charlie with his left but the useless appendage hung frighteningly still in the sling. For all the times that he had wished he could use that arm again, he didn't think there was one that topped this.

Still weeping, Grace leaned down and accepted a kiss on the cheek from her dad and then snuggled down on the sofa with her head in his lap and a box of tissues in her hands.

Distraught and overwhelmed, the three clung desperately to each other as they cried themselves to sleep.


	68. Chapter 68

Author's Confession: I think that out of all of the 67 chapters in this story so far, that last one is my personal favorite, not the sensitive subject matter that Danny had to explain, but just the flow and the feel of it. I love the Danny and Grace relationship on the show and thoroughly enjoy exploring it through this story. I reply personally to every signed review but to those who review as guests, thanks for all of the kind and wonderful comments. They are humbling and motivating and they truly make my day. To all of those who read and never review, thank you for sticking with my story and I hope that, at least once (or maybe even twice) you'll drop me a review and let me know what it is about my story that makes you want to keep reading it.

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N The first part of this chapter is included because Lenail125 (a Steve fan and yet faithful reviewer of this Danny-centric story) asked so nicely to see him. As for the second part – I've been waiting for just the right place and time to put it in and it seemed to fit after the Steve part. The chapter that was going to come next will appear after this one.

H50 H50 H50

Later, Steve arrived to take care of Danny's wound and PT. He had spoken to him earlier in the day and was saddened but not surprised that Danny was still harboring a great deal of guilt over Melissa's attempted suicide, constantly cycling through a series of "what if's" and "should haves." The guilt was totally unwarranted but it held Danny in a firm grip nonetheless. So far, nothing he had said seemed to lessen that stranglehold of self-reproach in his friend.

As was usual between them, he didn't knock, he just reached for the doorknob – but found it locked. Calling Danny's cell, so he didn't awaken Charlie, he got no answer. Crap. What now? Taking a deep, calming breath he pulled out his key to Danny's house and braced himself for what he might see.

He couldn't help the fond look that lit his face at the sight of his partner asleep on the sofa with his two beloved children snuggled up on either side. He knew Danny was wiped out from the stress and trauma of the night before with Melissa, on top of his long-term injury, so he wished he could let Danny sleep, but he couldn't. If the dressings in the wound in his back weren't changed and the wound cleaned, the risk of the infection growing would increase. It was too serious an infection, too dangerous a possibility. He knew that infection could still kill Danny if they lost control of it. "Danny," he whispered as softly as he could. "Danno?"

Finally sensing movement and hearing his name being called, Danny managed to pry his eyes open. Quickly clamping his eyes shut again, he let out a soft, tired exhale before opening them once more and finally managing to focus on his friend before him. Steve looked questioningly at Danny. Words passing soundlessly between them, Danny silently replied to the unvoiced question and Steve carefully scooped Charlie up in his arms.

Charlie stirred slightly and then settled again as Steve carried him to the guest room and placed him on the pull out sofa bed. Snuggling the stuffed police bear that Danny had given the boy into his honorary nephew's arms, Steve kissed the boy's fair head before closing the door behind him as he silently left the room. Returning to the living room, he saw Danny reaching across his body to gently stroke Grace's hair.

"Hey Monkey, time to get up and move to your bed," Danny whispered tenderly.

After enough gentle prodding, Grace rose and then kissed her dad and Steve before trudging soundlessly to her room, eyes barely open.

As she left the room, Steve's thoughts went back to the night before and the seemingly interminable wait in the ER that hadn't ended until nearly 2am. After being treated for his injuries, Danny had then spoken about his daily physical therapy that Chin had come to his house to do hours before. The fight that had ensued had been epic but Steve and Chin had finally won out, not by pointing out Danny's fatigued and worn down condition but by each claiming that they were too tired to perform the task. Their approach was definitely heavy-handed, playing on Danny's already overwhelming sense of guilt as it did, but both men had deemed it necessary. Danny had been in no condition to endure the grueling PT.

Now, Steve knew, there was no way they could skip the PT today, no matter how beleaguered Danny still was. Further, he knew that having skipped a day, it promised to be especially brutal on Danny now, as the muscles had remained unmoved for 48 hours.

Sighing, Steve turned his concerned gaze back to his best friend. The deep blues and purples that stretched down the entire left side of his face, the black stitches that slanted across his cheek and his bloodshot eyes contrasted sharply with his otherwise too pale complexion. "You look like crap, buddy."

"Always with the compliments." Danny ran his one working hand through his hair and then carefully touched the heel of his hand to the throbbing wound on his cheek.

Sitting down where Charlie had been, Steve looked at Danny out of the corner of his eye but remained silent.

"I told Grace about Melissa." His voice a strained whisper, Danny glanced at Steve and their eyes met for the briefest of moments before the distraught man continued, dipping his head in fatigue and despair. "She cried herself to sleep."

Steve sighed. "You told Charlie, too?"

"No. He woke up. Grace was crying. He started too." Danny heaved a sigh, staring at the floor, trying to make sense of his life. "Grace really likes Melissa. Wants to go see her."

"What did you tell her?"

"That Melissa needs some alone time right now." He arched his aching back.

"Good answer." Steve waited now. Danny seemed to have something else on his mind.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Danny spoke again, voice rough and shaky. "I told her that Melissa had PTSD, explained what it was. She asked if…" He paused trying to rein in his emotions as Steve patiently waited him out. "Said she remembered being taken by Peterson and asked if that was PTSD. I assured her it wasn't. When I told her that Melissa had taken too many pills, Grace asked if she had tried to kill herself. " He cleared his throat. "She's just a kid. She shouldn't have to deal with this stuff."

Heart aching for all that his best friend was being forced to endure, Steve gripped the back of Danny's bowed neck with a supportive hand. "No, she shouldn't and neither should you, buddy."

"Don't start with me," Danny growled, preventing Steve from speaking, yet again, about the status of Danny and Melissa's relationship and how he thought Danny should walk away. "We have PT to do."

Steve backed off for the moment. He had voiced his opinion to Danny many times the past few weeks but it went unheeded, with Danny stating that the situation was not as simple as Steve seemed to think. Now, Melissa's attempt on her life not only indicated that Danny was right but it complicated things even further. Right now, they'd focus on doing the PT and then letting Danny get some much needed sleep. "You up to this?"

"No. No, I'm not up to this. But I have no choice. We skipped yesterday and my back is as tight as a drum. I can't skip again." He paused a moment, jaw clenched, knowing he had been played the night before but had been too exhausted to see it at the time. "If you're still too tired to do it, I'll call somebody else."

Steve ignored the jab, partly because he didn't think Danny had the energy for a verbal sparring match but mostly because he knew he deserved it. He rose from the sofa. "Let's get started, partner."

H50 H50 H50

The next day, Danny got the kids off to school and then fell into an exhausted, pain-filled morning nap. Upon awakening, and despite being plenty sore from the strenuous PT the night before, he set about continuing his review of the paperwork on Gabriel Waincroft and his known associates. It was painstaking work, complicated by his still swollen left eye, but he was beginning to find some interesting patterns and insights. In time, he knew he'd collect enough evidence to nail Waincroft and his entourage to the wall.

His cell phone rang, pulling him out of his concentration, and he reached across the table to pick it up. "Williams," he said as he answered the call, stifling a groan as his abused muscles protested the movement.

"You should answer the phone 'Bullseye'," came the gruff voice on the other end of the line.

Danny smiled, recognizing the voice. "Bullseye? The hell you talkin' about old man?'

"Word on the street says you had one painted on your back."

"Ooooooh, low man. That was really low." Danny chuckled. "How the hell ya doin' Tony?"

"I should be askin' you that Muscles," he replied. Danny had maintained some contact with Tony Archer after they met on a case 5 years earlier. They had bonded over their mutual east coast origins and fondness for authentic New York/New Jersey style pizza, sans fruit.

"Yeah ya should be, but I didn't hear ya askin' nothin'." Danny naturally fell back into Jersey speak.

"Still a smartass, ain't ya?" His voice grew more serious. "Really, how ya doin' kid? Kept seein' yer ugly mug all over the news. Didn't they teach ya to duck over there on the other side of the river?" he asked, referring to the Hudson River that ran between part of Danny's native New Jersey and Archer's native New York. "Or did ya forget all that practical stuff livin' here in paradise too long?"

"Duck? Whatcha talkin' about ol' man? Jersey boys don't duck. We stand our ground."

"A lot of good that did ya," Archer remarked poignantly, to which Danny had no reply. "How's the recovery? Gunna be hittin' the streets pretty soon?" The news articles didn't give many details.

Danny was silent, something Archer wasn't used to. "You still there Muscles?" he added.

Danny looked down at his arm, hanging unmoving and useless in the sling then stretched his back and stifled a pain-filled groan. "Yeah, man. Yeah. Been home a few weeks now." He shook his head, even though Archer couldn't see it over the line. "Can't move my arm though. Got no feelin' or nothin'."

"Damn. Your crazy partner castrate the mother f*# er yet?"

Danny let out a soft chuckle. "He's in custody. So far we've managed to keep my Neanderthal partner away from him - and his 'equipment'."

"Well, if that Neanderthal wants some New York style help, I'll be glad to lend a hand."

Danny smiled softly, appreciating the sentiment behind the words. "Doubt he'll take ya up on that. SuperSEAL don't like backup."

"I thought you was his backup?"

"Yeah. Not much use right now."

"Ya got enough to keep the crazy bastard locked up?" Tony asked, moving the subject away from Danny's debilitating injury and back to the man in custody for causing it.

"Oh yeah, and then some. Think he's just a little fish in a big pond, though."

"He was workin' for somebody, huh?" It wasn't really a question, but what followed was. "Not enough to nail the big fish though?"

"Not yet. Workin' on it."

"Hope you nail the bastards soon. How's your little girl doing? Oh and your boy, too?" he asked, changing the subject to something more pleasant.

"Doing well, thanks," Danny replied, a big smile crossing his face. "Gettin' big."

"Ya think they'd like some authentic east coast pizza? I know their pops would."

"Sure they would. Do you deliver or will I have to subject them to your presence to get it?"

Danny and Tony then confirmed plans for Tony to have Danny and the kids to his boat for dinner one evening. "You wanna bring your little lady, too? Let me show her a real man's hospitality," Tony now offered.

Danny sighed then paused again, his voice betraying his emotions when he finally spoke. "She uh… she won't be able to make it, but thanks for asking."

Tony Archer had been a detective for years. He knew something was amiss. "Don't tell me your woman walked out on ya when ya got hurt."

"It's not nearly that simple."

Archer knew he had nailed it, but also knew when to stop. "Well then, bring yer 'wife'. I like to watch you and that big lug of a partner talk without movin' your mouths."

Danny laughed at that. "I'll ask him."

"Anythin' else ya need, ya let me know, huh kid?"

A thought popped into Danny's head. "Actually Tony, maybe there is. Do you know anybody in the Baltimore PD? Been tryin' to get some information on a cold case but I don't know the right doors to knock on."

"As a matter of fact, I think I do. Old buddy of mine should still be there. Nearing retirement himself but tell him you're a friend of mine and he'll do you a solid." Archer gave him the contact information he would need and promised to reach out to his friend to give him a heads up.

By dinnertime, Danny had received a promise that the files he requested would be emailed to him within the next few days. The original detective on the case had retired years earlier but Danny was assured that he was welcome to peruse the file as a professional courtesy.

Since it was Rachel's weekend with the kids, Danny warmed up some leftovers for dinner and sat down with the Waincroft files again. He'd work on them until Mindy came to do his evening routine.

His body was definitely ailing, but chronic headache aside his mind still worked just fine.


	69. Chapter 69

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Special thanks to Julieb for reviewing and commenting on this chapter for me although she probably won't even recognize it since I've added and changed quite a bit since then. All mistakes are mine.

A/N I'm pleased that you enjoyed Tony's phone call so much. The nod to Scott's beloved father was fun for me. However, I'm surprised that nobody seemed to understand what cold case Danny was inquiring about. I'm not giving it away just yet, though, so you'll have to figure it out for yourself or wait and see.

A/N To guest reviewer Reidka - I wish I could reply to you in person. Your review was so sweet and you really blew my mind. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you continue to enjoy my work.

H50 H50 H50

After school, Grace and Charlie went to Rachel for the weekend. That evening, Mindy was scheduled to come and help Danny with his physical therapy and to change the dressings. It was the first time she would be doing the whole procedure alone but she had convinced Steve that she was ready for such a feat. Mindy arrived wearing the scrubs she normally wore for work.

"Came dressed for the occasion, I see," Danny told her. "You look very professional, doctor."

"Didn't think I needed to get dressed up," Mindy responded, a pout crossing her features.

"No. No. It's okay. I didn't mean…" Mindy was giggling before he could finish his apology and then he laughed as well. He'd been had. "You look good Mindy," he added with a warm smile.

"Wish I could say the same about you," Mindy replied, referring to the black eye, bruised cheek and stitches that now covered the left side of his face. Resisting the urge to touch his face, she twisted a bit to the side to get a closer look. Then her perusing gaze noted the injuries to his legs as well. "What happened?"

"Very long story. Let's get started with the PT first, huh?"

When they were ready a short while later, Danny spoke up. "So, uh, about the Frankenstein look…"

Mindy shook her head. He was no monster. He actually looked rather rakish to her. She stifled the inner sigh at that thought. "You didn't try to go back to work, did you? Tackle some bad guys? Duke it out with SuperSEAL?"

Danny laughed. He loved it when Mindy would playfully use nicknames and references that way. "No, nothing like that."

"So, you're not going to tell me, 'You should see the other guy?'" she asked with a fake deep voice as she helped him take his arm out of the sling.

Thoughts directly going to 'the other guy' Melissa, Danny sobered immediately. "I wish," he sighed, before moving to lie flat so the PT could begin.

Mindy easily noted the change in his bearing and she grew solemn as well. "Sounds serious."

"Yeah, yeah it was." The subject was tough enough to talk about, but getting it out to Mindy had extra obstacles. She didn't know so much of the history.

"You don't owe me any explanation," Mindy assured him, while beginning the first of the stretches.

"I appreciate that, but I want to," Danny said. He knew she would accept it without complaint if he chose to tell her nothing. He didn't want to do that, though. He didn't want to hide this from her. Plus, she was a good friend and discussing things with her always helped him think better and more clearly.

He cleared his throat, a sound that Mindy found inexplicably sexy whenever he did it. "So, uh, I was trying to uh…" Danny stopped. "Geez, I don't even know where to start."

"The beginning?"

"Classic suggestion."

"Probably because it usually works."

"Yeah." Danny paused again, thinking. There really was no other way to tell this story. "I told you that things have been strained between Melissa and I."

Mindy wasn't really sure what to make of the mention of Melissa but at her confirming nod he went on. "Well, that's partly because she's been suffering from PTSD. Something happened, before she met me, before she even came to Hawaii. She was uh …"

"Danny? I know about her abusive husband and how he almost killed you, and how he died, if that's what you're having trouble getting out. I did the autopsy, remember?" She was in the midst of the shoulder stretches now.

Danny puffed out a relieved sigh. "Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I do remember. So I don't have to tell you all that." He paused, trying to collect his thoughts.

"When I was in the hospital after he stabbed me and when I got home after that she was okay. She helped me a lot. Apologized for hiding her past marriage from me and seemed to move past it all just fine. I was barely recovered from that when I got kind of banged up again," he told her, glossing over the imprisonment and brutal beatings in Colombia.

"I remember," Mindy said. Of course she noticed when he was so badly injured again. She noticed everything about him from the day they met even though they hadn't solidified their friendship until they had been stuck in the elevator together after he had once again been cleared to return to work.

"Again, she was fine. But things changed when I got stabbed this time. First the injury nearly killed me and then the infection took its turn trying to finish me off. She uh, had the wrong impression at one point that I had died."

"That must have been very difficult. I can't imagine." And she really couldn't imagine what she would have felt like if she thought Danny had died - and they were just friends, not dating for years as Danny and Melissa were. She heard Danny grunt in pain and knew she needed to focus better. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I'm just kind of sore. I had no PT two nights ago so last night's session was a little rough." Danny downplayed the situation for Mindy but having missed PT the night spent in the ER awaiting word on Melissa, the routine the next night was even more painful than usual, leaving Danny extremely tender and aching before Mindy could even begin.

"No PT? You never skip." Mindy knew that although many would have given up by now, Danny remained fiercely resolute.

"I'm getting to that," Danny assured her, stifling another groan.

"So, she thought you died," she prompted, eager to distract him from the pain.

"Yeah, she didn't really come to the hospital much. Apparently it was causing her to have flashbacks or something. I'm not sure. She didn't say. But, well, the day I was released she came to help me pack up and take me home."

Mindy couldn't help the little niggling feeling of jealousy at that but pushed it away. She cherished her friendship with Danny and never wanted to ruin it. Danny had stopped talking so Mindy remained quiet as well, silently focusing on the physical therapy, wincing in sympathy each time Danny gasped or groaned in pain. It was his story to tell or not. She would respect his choice however he handled it.

"After she got there, she watched a PT session so she could start learning how to do it, but I could tell something wasn't right. I thought maybe she wasn't feeling well but, in hindsight, I guess she was troubled. I just didn't know."

"When somebody hides the way they really feel it can be very difficult to see through it," Mindy said wisely.

Wow. That was deep – and so true, Danny realized. "Yeah. I had no idea. Back in the room she was helping me pack up and I asked her again what was wrong." The memory of that time was so clear to him. "She started talking about all kinds of things. About me taking so long to tell her about Charlie and about why Steve had my medical proxy." He left out the part about Matty, not wanting to stray that far off topic.

"What did that have to do with anything?"

"Camouflage, pure and simple. Just throwing chaff."

"The real issue was not being able to handle you being injured again - through another act of violence." Mindy understood clearly.

"Exactly. Then…" Danny puffed out a stressed exhale.

"You don't have to do this Danny."

"I know I don't. But I want to. It's just…" He let the sentence hang.

"Okay. Let's get you on your stomach so we can work the other muscles." It was good timing, giving him a chance to think. As she helped him turn over and then began the next set of stretches he gathered his thoughts again.

"She walked out." Danny exclaimed suddenly.

"What?" Mindy was startled by his abrupt vocalization and surprised by the words themselves. What exactly did he mean by that? Had they broken up? Danny had said things were strained and complicated but hadn't said they were no longer together.

"She said she couldn't take the fear anymore and she walked out. She said she wasn't leaving me, that she just needed space to clear her head." Danny was so comfortable speaking with Mindy that it didn't feel odd at all to talk about this – no more so than it felt to discuss it with Steve or Chin or Kono. His ohana.

"Oh." That answered her unasked question. "Ok. So what did she do?"

"Nothing. I tried to get her to seek some professional help but she wouldn't hear of it. Kept saying she was fine."

"Sounds vaguely familiar," Mindy threw in. "But it's different, I know," she added. Not wanting to make light of the subject and having an idea now of where this was going.

"So, we exchanged texts."

"Texts?" That's not what she expected.

"Yeah, lots of them. I tried to help her through it. Kept trying to get her to go for more help than I could give but she'd just shut down so I tried to lay off and just do what I could."

"All of this by text?" Mindy verified again, thrown by the sheer peculiarity of it.

"Mostly. I'd try to call but she usually didn't answer. And she wouldn't see me either."

"Not since the hospital?" Mindy was incredulous, but tried to reserve judgment as she quickly pondered how many times she had seen Danny since then and how much that number would have been reduced if Melissa had been around.

"Not until the other day. I really screwed up. She seemed really off when we were texting and she wouldn't answer her phone so I went over there."

"Don't tell me you drove?"

"No, that kind of insanity I leave to my Neanderthal partner. Got an Uber." Danny sighed again. "She was so messed up Mindy. So upset. I couldn't calm her down. She took a bunch of pills. I tried to get her to drink ipecac syrup but it all just went downhill." Trying to push his current physical pains out of his mind, he then explained about getting slammed into the wall, losing their balance, the bottle shattering, bashing his face into the counter, kneeling in the glass, one-handed CPR, the emergency room and the long, excruciating wait for information. Sensing his need, she just let him speak as she continued the treatment. "Yesterday, I had to tell Grace. Can't hide this from her." He waved vaguely at his banged up face.

He was right; it was way too obvious. Mindy cringed at the thought of him having to tell his daughter. "How'd she take it?"

"Cried herself to sleep, then was kind of quiet this morning."

Mindy nodded. She had yet to meet Grace, but from what she had heard about the girl, she had as much of a caring nature as her father. It seemed natural that this news would be hard to take.

When the PT was finished, Mindy then set up the Tens unit and heating pad. The impatient patient now needed to sit still for 20 minutes while the two treatments worked together to help ease his tightened and contracted muscles. In a way, it was the most difficult part of the program for him. "Did you hear anything more today?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"You said you screwed up. How do you figure? In that whole story you told me, I don't see you as having done anything wrong," she said while she organized the supplies for the change of dressings as Steve had taught her.

"She freaked out. Maybe if I wasn't there she wouldn't have taken those pills."

"Maybe. Maybe not." Mindy sat down next to him. She didn't bother him with a bromide. Their friendship went much deeper than that. "What happened was understandably really hard on you. The past couple months have been hard on you. Watching helplessly as someone you love goes through something like that takes a huge toll. Wanting to help but getting nowhere, must be frustrating and painful. I wish I could help somehow."

"You have no idea how much help you've been already, Mindy. I started out telling you how I got all beat up and ended up dumping this whole thing on you. I mean, just being here and letting me talk about it, no judgment, no advice. It really does help."

"You don't want my advice?" Mindy said with a tiny, teasing grin.

Danny shook his head and let out a wry chuckle. "I always respect your advice."

"You know, the reasons for her trying to take her own life went much deeper than you arriving there unexpectedly." Without the personal "baggage" getting in the way Mindy could see things in a much clearer light than Danny could.

"Yeah. Well… I don't know. I don't know what to think." His mind swirling, he paused a moment before venturing into new, but related, territory. "You know, I don't really know what true happiness is," he confessed softly, while staring hard at the floor. The only other person he had ever admitted that to had been Steve, when they were buried under layers of concrete, metal and debris, and his guts were being held inside by duct tape. "Every time something good happens, when I get a glimpse of happiness, all I can think of is what will happen to ruin it. Because, trust me, except for Grace there has always been something to ruin it." He didn't include his son in that exception because Rachel's deception had ruined the first three years of Charlie's life for Danny. "I have much to be thankful for. I know that. Don't get me wrong." He shook his head, still having a hard time getting his thoughts into words. He stared at the floor as if it held the answers he so desperately sought.

Mindy was aware of his constant battle with anxiety and that this struggle to find lasting happiness was a large aspect of the perpetual internal war he waged. Her heart ached for him and she was stunned by his sad admission but Mindy remained steadfast and silent by his side, allowing him the space she sensed he needed as the Tens unit and heating pad worked to ease the tightness in his unused muscles.

"But as much as I find happiness elusive," he continued forlornly, "I can't ever imagine wanting to end my life. Since being hijacked by my crazy Rambo partner I've had plenty of close calls. I have bullets being shot at me every other day but never have I wished one would hit me. Never have I even contemplated stepping in front of one just to end it all. To save Rambo's sorry butt yeah, but never just to end it all."

Mindy was thankful for that assurance and the tiny spark of Danny's sense of humor as she allowed him to go on. "I don't get it, Mindy. I just don't get it. I want to. I really do, but I have no clue what on earth was going through her mind. They taught us a little about suicide at the police academy. I've read about it, too. I know it's about a lot more than being unhappy but I just don't get it."

Mindy waited a moment, until she was sure that Danny was done speaking. There wasn't a whole lot that she could say. Mostly what Danny needed was the chance to vent in a safe environment and she was committed to giving him exactly what he needed. "You're not alone in that. I don't think anybody who hasn't felt what Melissa felt can truly understand."

Danny sighed dejectedly. "Yeah. I guess you're right." Sometimes he hated rational thinking. He paused again before changing direction once more. "But, I can't help but feel guilty, you know? I feel like I should have seen it coming, like there was something more I should have done."

Still sitting by his side, Mindy nodded. "When she would text you, would you answer her right away?"

"Always - as soon as I could anyway. I sleep a lot these days," he admitted.

"These texts she sent, would you actually read them?"

"Of course."

"Think carefully before you replied?"

"Definitely."

"Make stuff up to speed things along?"

Pulling his eyes from the floor, he looked up at her for just a moment. "Never!"

"Ever go on the internet and research things to try and come up with ways to help her?" She knew Danny well enough to be nearly certain this was true.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "When I was released from the hospital the doc gave me the name of a shrink. I called her. Asked what I could do about it. Wasn't much she could do without me actually getting Melissa in there but she gave me a few tips."

"And you used those tips to help Melissa?"

"I tried," he answered with a beleaguered sigh.

Mindy nodded. "Danny?" She turned to him, silently inviting him to look at her rather than the floor that had been his focal point for most of the time he had been sitting upright. "Danny?"

He lifted his eyes to meet her gaze. "Yeah?"

"What else could you have done?" Her voice cracked slightly; her heart was breaking for this man she cared about so deeply whose heart was breaking over the woman he loved.

The six million dollar question. Danny could barely contain the sob that threatened to escape, his voice roughened by worry, sorrow, pain and fatigue. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess. Not really." He squeezed his eyes shut. Even though he now realized that Mindy was right – he had done all he could - it still hurt.

His voice and demeanor exuded a sense of defeat. She wanted to hug him but refrained, not feeling it to be her place. "You just wish there had been something you could have done to stop her. Something you could have done to spare her all she's going through." It was a statement, not a question because she understood his pain.

"Yeah. Exactly." He rubbed his hand over his eyes, trying to surreptitiously wipe them dry.

Mindy rested her hand gently on Danny's good arm, offering him comfort in his distress. He looked at her again. "Holding on to that guilt won't help her, you know. Making yourself sick over it, won't help her." Her voice, tender and caring and gentle, seemed to touch the depths of his weary soul.

Danny nodded, but couldn't speak. Her touch soothed him as her words helped assuage his deep feelings of guilt and remorse. He cherished her friendship. She made it all seem so clear, so simple. Looking at her, he took a deep breath, reining in his emotions.

"But it still hurts," she continued. "That's going to take time. You've been through quite a shock yourself."

"You sure you're not really a shrink?" Danny asked with a sniff and a watery smile.

"Not last time I checked my diploma."


	70. Chapter 70

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

H50 H50 H50

The next day, Danny was up early. It took him an inordinate amount of time to shower and get dressed these days and he also had quite a bit of work to do in the kitchen before his ohana began to arrive for breakfast.

Kono had organized and galvanized a formidable work party to help with various jobs around Danny's house. She was a force to be reckoned with when she got an idea in her head and after Danny's mini-meltdown by his front door the other day she felt the strongest urge to step in and help as much as they could. Hearing about the terrible emotional and physical trauma he had gone through with Melissa's attempted suicide had only further strengthened her resolve.

When Kono had first broached the subject, Danny had vehemently objected. Combined with the emotional fallout of having so many people do so much for him, there were more practical implications as well. With Stan's lawsuit over back child support still pending, Danny felt there was no reason to make such changes and additions to the house. Kono, backed by the rest of the ohana, had disagreed just as vehemently. There was no date set for the case to be heard and not even a clear timeline to be followed. In the meantime, she argued, Danny needed to be able to enter his house by himself, needed to be able to shower without scalding himself, and his son and his friends deserved a safe yet exciting play-set to entertain them. The ohana won that round and here they were.

Danny had done his best to keep the house clean and organized but with his limited mobility, poor health and stamina there were some things he just couldn't do. Eric kept the lawn mowed and put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher, but he was still young with a busy job and a girlfriend to divide his time and attention from the bigger needs. Kono and Adam were the first to arrive.

"Hi doll," Danny told a beaming Kono as he wrapped her in a one-armed hug and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Adam still found it a tad puzzling and quite amusing that Kono didn't mind Danny using that nickname for her. He was sure that if anybody else tried to use it, she would break his neck, but somehow Danny pulled it off time and again without a scratch or even a peep of complaint. Contrary to what Adam would expect, she actually smiled at the use of the nickname. Then again, Danny called Steve and Chin "babe" and neither man batted an eye, so maybe these nicknames were just a Danny thing.

Kono and Adam had not seen Danny since he had suffered his new injuries at Melissa's house and Kono now took a moment to look her friend over. The row of neat black stitches surrounded by the blue and purple hue of his left cheek was the first to catch her attention, followed by the still slightly swollen eye. "That looks like it hurts," Kono said.

Danny gave a small shrug - any more than that hurt his back. "Pain killers help everywhere."

"Not everywhere, brah." Painkillers didn't do a darn thing for emotional pain. Kono knew that the emotional scars of dealing with Melissa's failed suicide attempt were much more painful and would take much longer to heal than the physical ones. "Any word on Melissa?"

"Yeah. She's awake and aware and has agreed that they can share information with me."

"That's awesome Danny. I'm so relieved."

"Yeah, me too."

"So, have you spoken to her? How is she?"

"Not yet. They're moving her to another wing." The fact that it was the psychiatric ward was understood but left unsaid. "Her doctors have said it's best if she has no direct contact right now."

Kono grimaced. That must be really rough on Danny, being forced to stay away. "You need anything, we're here for you," she assured him with a squeeze of his good arm.

"You've done so much…"

Adam didn't even let Danny finish. "Ohana, brah."

"You need to remember that, haole," Kono added with a smile.

Danny nodded his head in acceptance. Feeling embarrassed that he needed such help and feeling guilty that he was taking so many people away from their own weekend duties, Danny had promised breakfast for anyone interested. After greeting their injured friend, Kono and Adam stepped into the kitchen expecting a box of malasadas and carton of hot coffee that they figured Eric would pick up from the local pastry shop. They were so pleasantly surprised when the odor of fresh cooking filled the air.

"That smells amazing," Adam told Danny, his stomach growling to accentuate the compliment.

"What did you do, brah?" Kono added as they looked around the kitchen. Next to a big coffee urn, a large slow cooker of homemade oatmeal was sitting steaming on the counter surrounded by small bowls of honey, molasses, brown sugar, cinnamon, raisins, blueberries and sliced strawberries. To it's right, on a hot plate, sat a large baking dish of baked egg casserole loaded with peppers, onions, mushrooms and tomatoes. Further down on another warmer sat a spinach and goat cheese quiche next to a bacon and cheddar quiche. A basket of various kinds of bread and muffins sat next to the toaster. "What time did you get up?"

Danny gave a non-committal tilt of his head. "These are things I make for the kids. No big deal. Did most of the prep yesterday." While that was true, the further truth was that Danny didn't sleep well - hadn't slept well since his divorce, even less so since the injury and even less again these past few days since Melissa's thwarted suicide attempt. It allowed him the opportunity to get up and get to work on preparing this feast for his friends.

"You shouldn't over-do it, brah," Kono chastised as Danny handed Adam a plate and indicated that he should help himself.

"Had some help," Danny assured her.

"Eric helped you do this?" Kono was incredulous. Just the idea that Danny did this was enough to make her head spin. Throwing Eric into the picture…

Danny shook his head. "Mindy. She did my PT last night and stayed to help."

Kono couldn't help but notice the twinkle in his eye as he said her name nor could she stop the grin that spread across her own face. "I like her. She said she was coming today, you know."

"Yeah. Not til later, though. She got a call-out this morning. What can you do? Sometimes dead bodies show up on a Saturday."

Kono would have replied but the most amazing aroma rising from the oven distracted her and she immediately went to check it out.

"Don't open it," Danny warned her. "They're not done."

"What's in there? You're killing me." The aroma was practically intoxicating.

"Cinnamon buns. Charlie's school was selling them as a fundraiser," he replied, letting her know that he hadn't made them from scratch.

She clicked the light on in the oven and looked through the glass before grabbing a plate and digging in to the other options. "We get first dibs when they're ready."

"You got first dibs on everything, doll," Danny said with a laugh as he heard his name being called from the front door.

Steve and his young friend Nahele had arrived and Steve let themselves in. That's the way he and Danny were. "Mornin' Danno. Got some malasadas for us?" he called out as he entered the house.

"Nope," Danny replied with a shout from the kitchen.

"Ah, coco-pufs!" Steve called from the hallway.

"Wrong again."

"No? You said you'd have breakfast for us. I came hungry," Steve complained.

"Mr. 'my body is a temple' was going to eat malasadas and coco-pufs? Seriously?" Danny asked as Steve and Nahele stepped into the kitchen and he greeted them. "What happened to the tree bark?"

"This is so much better than tree bark," Kono said around a mouthful of fresh, homemade oatmeal covered in brown sugar, cinnamon and raisins.

"Or even malasadas," Adam added as he took another bite of quiche.

Steve and Nahele stopped in their tracks and took in the kitchen. "You cooked, Uncle Danny?" the teen asked.

"Boy, did he ever." Kono answered.

"Is it edible?" Steve asked with a concerned twist to his face.

"No, not at all. Better not eat anything," Adam replied with a laugh as he helped himself to some of the casserole.

Laughing, Steve and Nahele quickly greeted everybody and then began to serve themselves. Steve tried a bit of everything. If Danny made it, he had to try it.

Danny checked the time and then looked through the window at the cinnamon buns in the oven. They looked ready so he turned the oven off and grabbed an oven mitt, awkwardly moving to put it on his left hand. "Here, let me do that, brah," Kono told him as she donned the oven mitt plus a second one for the other hand.

"I can do it," Danny protested, pointing at the rest of the food as evidence.

"You're not supposed to lift anything. Besides I want to make sure these amazing things don't end up on the floor."

"Hot damn, first dibs," Steve shouted around a mouthful of egg casserole as the aroma of the cinnamon buns hit him. He plopped his plate down on the table and practically skipped towards the oven.

"Forget it SuperSEAL, the rookie and her husband got first dibs," Danny chastised good-naturedly. "And finish the food on your plate before you take more. Animal."

Soon, the whole gang had arrived and were eating breakfast – Chin, Abby, Lou, Renee, Max, Jerry, Duke and Pua. Eric finally graced them with his presence and headed straight to the coffee urn after grumbling a general hello. Perked up by the caffeine he set to proper greetings and eating after finishing half the mug.

After breakfast, a couple other HPD officers, some neighbors and a few parents of Grace's friends arrived to help as well. Even the father of Charlie's best friend Wokoli came to help with the swing set, stating that Danny was a truly decent guy and that since his son was already so comfortable at the Detective's house he would probably be enjoying it nearly as much as Charlie did so it just seemed right. Word had spread first for the plan to help with meals and then for this workday and there were now plenty of volunteers.

Knowing ahead of time who was coming and taking a quick survey of special skills, Kono had a game plan all set up. There were four projects on her list.

In order to make the lock on the front door workable for Danny, it was determined that the whole door needed to be replaced as the knob and keyholes were incompatible with an acceptable lock. One team was assigned to accomplish this task.

Another team was assigned to change the shower mechanisms in Danny's master bathroom to a single handle so that he would no longer accidentally scald himself when showering. The team for this highly technical job was comprised of those most experienced in home improvement and plumbing.

Building the swing set with a climbing wall and tree house would require the most workers and a lot of brute strength. The ground needed to be leveled while the wood and supplies that Danny had already ordered needed to be picked up. The safety of children always the utmost concern of Danny's, the concrete anchors needed to be set before the structure could be built. Finally, a truckload of woodchips, to provide a cushioned surface in case of falls, was to be picked up and distributed in a 9" layer under and around the newly built set.

Without Danny's knowledge Grace had arranged with Kono for some helpers to convert his third bedroom/office into an official bedroom for Charlie. Now that Danny had legal joint custody of his son and since Eric was soon to move into his own apartment, the timing seemed just right while help was available. Grace had helped Charlie pick out a suitable paint color and Eric had managed to secretly find out what bed Danny planned to buy for his little boy. So, much to Danny's surprise, Grace and Amy showed up bearing paint, curtains and sheets.

"Hey Monkey, what are you doing here?" Danny asked as Grace and Amy walked in. He knew Amy had offered to come but didn't know that Grace would be coming as well. "I thought you were doing something with mom today?"

"Forgive my fib?" Grace asked with a grin. "I wanted to surprise you."

"You never, ever need to apologize for letting me see you," he told Grace with a kiss to the top of her head, before he turned to Amy. "But you! Keeping secrets from me. How could you?" He grinned broadly as he tried to sound severe.

"Oh hush." Amy grinned back. "How are you Danny?" she asked as they greeted each other with a friendly kiss on the cheek. "Grace told me what happened," she added, in reference to the obvious injuries he was sporting.

"Doing great now," Danny replied as he again kissed his daughter on the top of the head and avoiding delving any further into the latest upset. "So, what's all this stuff you brought?" Grace explained to Danny about getting the room ready for Charlie, showing him the paint chip and a glimpse of the fabric pattern as she spoke. The room was to be painted a brilliant blue, quite similar to Danny's eyes. A bed, with a trundle bed underneath for when Eric was there or for when Charlie wanted a sleepover with a friend, were to be assembled and covered with bed covers that matched the fire fighter curtains that were to be hung on the windows. Grace had picked that design out herself, knowing that Charlie was fascinated with his new firefighter Grandpa Williams. When Grace was finished explaining the surprise to Danny, she and Amy took the supplies and headed to the back room so they could get things ready for painting. Still feeling that all of this was premature while Stan's lawsuit was still pending, Danny didn't have the heart to object to his little girl and he watched them eagerly head down the hall.

Each person having been given their assignment, they all set off to get to work, leaving Danny surrounded by dirty dishes.

A/N I know that was kind of a yawner of an exposition chapter, but if I didn't stop it here, it was just too long. Sorry.


	71. Chapter 71

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N 1002 reviews! I am totally and completely honored and humbled that this story has received more than 1000 reviews. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined something like that when I posted the first chapter of what was, at the time, a 6 chapter story. Your reviews have taught me about what I am doing right and about what I am doing wrong. I am always working to improve and to bring the best story that I possibly can to your pc's, lap tops, phones or other mobile devices. So, from the bottom of my heart I want to thank each and every one of you who is still reading, each one who has favorited or followed this story or me, a special thank you to those of you who take a minute to send me a few words, and a very, very special thank you to those of you who send a review for each and every chapter. You're amazing. Through this story I have made some incredible online friendships – such a wonderful bonus.

A/N Just as a reminder, we are now only about 2 months away from the time Danny was stabbed in the back in the classroom, even though it's taken me nearly a year to write it.

H50 H50 H50

It wasn't long before Mindy arrived wearing cut-off jeans shorts and a tank top. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail rather than the bun she normally wore for work or having her long, wavy locks down as she usually wore it when she came to bring Danny dinner.

"New look?" Danny said, referring to her casual style.

Mindy looked down at the very casual attire she was wearing and chuckled. "Well, Kono said something about painting Charlie's room so I came dressed for the part."

"It suits you," Danny found himself saying. He couldn't help but notice how good she looked in short shorts and a tank.

Mindy blushed. "Thank you. How are you doing, Danny?"

He smiled sadly. "Hanging in there," he answered honestly. "Thank you. You really helped me when I needed it." His words were simple, but his eyes conveyed the depth of his gratitude.

"Glad I was able to help. Sorry I'm late."

"Please, no apologies. You're doing me a favor." He forewent saying that she was doing him 'yet another' favor, knowing she would chastise him for it. "You hungry? Breakfast was a big hit, but there's a few scraps left after the animals finished grazing," Danny told her with a laugh.

"Sure. Smells yummy." She smiled excitedly as he prepared a plate of food for her.

"That's probably the cinnamon buns you smell. Here, I saved you a couple." He opened a cabinet and took out a plastic container. "They're not warm anymore, though. I can pop them in the microwave while you eat the rest of that."

He had saved some just for her. Mindy couldn't help the smile that erupted.

"What?" Danny asked, seeing her smile as he put them in the microwave.

"You saved some for me. You didn't have to."

Danny turned around and leaned back against the counter, facing Mindy for a moment of rest. "Of course I had to. You're my friend and you helped me with all of this. You deserve something in return."

Mindy looked at Danny. He was exhausted and hurting, she could tell, but he still looked so attractive. She could think of something she'd rather have than cinnamon buns as a thank you but she stopped those thoughts right there. She knew she also had Danny's friendship and she cherished that and never wanted to lose it. "You are very welcome Danny. This is delicious."

"Thanks again for all your help in getting everything ready," Danny said as she finished eating a short while later.

"It was my pleasure, Danny. That's what friends are for. Now, that room won't paint itself so point me in the right direction."

Danny led her to the room where Amy and Grace had made preparations for painting and he began the introductions. "Grace, Amy, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, Dr. Shaw. Mindy, this is my daughter Grace."

"Hi Dr. Shaw. Nice to meet you."

"You can call me Mindy," she said. "If that's okay with your dad." Mindy hadn't expected to meet Danny's daughter today but she couldn't help but notice that her build, facial features, hair and coloring were nothing of her father's so she figured she must look like her mother.

Danny nodded his head in agreement and then spoke again. "Mindy, this is my friend Amy. Her late husband Meka and I were partners before Steve shanghaied me."

After they exchanged greetings, Grace spoke up again. "Are you one of my Dad's doctors? He has a ton of them."

Mindy smiled. "Actually, no. I'm a coroner."

"Well, it's a good thing you're not one of his, then," Grace quipped, showing a bit of her father's humor. "So, you work with Max? That must be interesting," Grace said with a wry grin.

"I have to agree with you there." Mindy laughed. "Now, I really do love my job but I also really love painting so if you can you use some help here I'm ready to go."

"We certainly can," Amy assured her as Danny left them to it.

Danny proceeded to clean up from breakfast, wrapping up the small amount of unfinished food, loading the dishwasher and setting the pans to soak. He made the rounds of each of the work sights inside and outside of his house, answering questions about his needs and about his health and about Melissa, among other things. After taking only a short rest upright on the sofa in the living room, he was now back in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher before he would begin to set things up for lunch. There was a virtual army to feed. 'Navy, Danny', he thought with a chuckle; he could practically see Steve rolling his eyes.

Several hours after starting the room painting, Grace took a break and found her father working in the kitchen. He looked worn out but Grace knew that he didn't like her to worry about him so she didn't say anything. "Mindy's real nice," Grace said as she poured herself a glass of water, "and she loves painting. Did you know she painted all the rooms in her house?"

"No, I didn't."

"Yeah, and she knows how to get it really even and not have drips and stuff. She taught me all about it."

Danny smiled. "So, now you're gunna be an expert, huh?"

"I wouldn't quite say that." She giggled and then took a drink of water before turning to her father with a pensive look on her face.

He stopped what he was doing and moved to her, placing his hand on her cheek. "What is it Monkey?" He knew his daughter's faces as well as he knew his partner's.

"How's Melissa?"

The question didn't surprise him. "She's doing a bit better now."

"Does she still want to… you know?"

Danny swallowed hard. He wished he knew the answer to that question and he wished even more that his sweet daughter didn't have to worry about these things. But, it was on her mind so he would not dismiss it. "The doctor's are helping her so she can stop feeling that way."

"Will they help her with the PTSD, too?"

"Yes, they will."

"Good, because if she's not scared anymore then maybe she'll be happy again and…" The back door opened catching Grace's attention and she promptly stopped speaking, pushing away from her dad as a smile tugged at her lips.

As Grace smiled and moved away from his warm embrace, Danny turned and was surprised to see Nahele standing there, sweat glistening on his shirtless chest and shoulders, smiling happily as he gazed back at her. "Hi Gracie," Nahele said.

"Don't you have a shirt?" Noticing the exchange, Danny barked at the teenage boy who had the good sense to not reply.

"Daaad!" Grace complained for him, foregoing her use of the affectionate nickname Danno. "Hi Nahele."

"Monkey, why don't you go help Mindy and Amy finish up the painting?" Danny said.

"Don't call me Monkey, Dad. I'm not a kid anymore." She looked away from her father. "You look hot, Nahele. Let me get you something cold to drink." She moved to the refrigerator.

"I uh, uh," the teenager stammered as he absorbed Danny's glare. The man was short but he was strong and well built and a bit scary when he got angry, even injured as he was. They bred them tough in New Jersey he had heard. "Let me get my shirt." He turned and walked out of the house.

His daughter's words were like a physical blow to Danny. He leaned heavily back against the counter. 'Don't call me Monkey, Dad,' she had said. He was stunned. Where had that come from?

Grace pulled a large pitcher of lemonade from the fridge and poured a tall glass. "I can't believe you said that. He'll think I'm a still a child."

"You are still a child," Danny told her.

"Mom says I'm a young lady." Grace stuck her chin out in defiance and then let her eyes wander out the window to where Nahele was donning his shirt.

Danny tracked her gaze and it all suddenly made sense. Grace liked Nahele. Really liked him. "A young lady would never make googley eyes at a boy with his shirt off," he said, wondering vaguely if she was still hung up on that actor she had gone on and on about a few days before. Again, he wondered at how delightful that conversation seemed compared to this.

"I didn't…" But she had, and she couldn't lie to her Danno and she couldn't stay mad at him, either. She slumped in defeat.

"C'mere." Danny told her as he wrapped his arm around her and gave her a hug.

The door opened and the object of her attention returned, now wearing a shirt and a penitent grin. "Sorry, Uncle Danny."

Seeing the two apologetic faces, Danny pulled himself together for the sake of his beloved daughter. Grace and Nahele had known each other for a while now. They were friends. He didn't want to ruin that. "Grace, why don't you and Nahele see who else wants lemonade, huh?" He turned to the boy. "You don't mind helping her, do you?"

"Of course not. I'd love to," he replied quickly. He took the heavy pitcher from her hands. "Come on Gracie. You get the cups."

As the two teenagers headed out the door, Danny plopped into a chair with a disgruntled sigh.


	72. Chapter 72

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N An extra special shout out to Long Live BRUCAS who was the first signed-in reviewer after 1000. As a special thank you prize for being the "1000th" reviewer, I let her ask for something to be put in the story. She wanted a Danny and Mindy talk about their feelings for each other. I'm not quite ready to have them delve too deeply into that just yet but I tried to fulfill her request as much as possible at this point of the story. So, if you like the extra long chapter and the scene with Danny and Mindy in his bedroom (get your mind out of the gutter) at the end of it, you can thank LLB. If you don't like it, blame me.

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Steve entered the kitchen and saw Danny looking pale and pained seated in the chair. "You alright?"

"Am I alright? No, I'm not alright." Pushing the pain aside, Danny popped out of the chair and pointed outside. "He's parading in here with his shirt off, enticing my young, innocent daughter. And you know what she tells me? 'Don't call me Monkey, Dad.' Can you believe that? What happened to my little girl, huh? He stole her innocence, I tell you. That's what happened. It's all your fault." Danny's flailing hand finished with a finger pointed right at Steve's chest.

"My fault? What are you talking about? How is Gracie growing up my fault?" Steve was confused and he spread his arms out in a plaintive gesture.

"You brought him here."

"Who are you talking about? I thought we were talking about Gracie?"

"I'm talking about that 'ward' of yours."

"My ward? Did you just call Nahele my ward?"

"That's what you bump on? Should I call him your mentee? Whatever you call him, he's corrupting my daughter, Steven." His voice was rising with each word, all of his fatherly frustration being transferred onto Steve.

"Everything okay in here?" Mindy asked as she entered, hearing Danny's raised voice.

Danny looked up as Mindy stepped in. "Ah good. Mindy. Tell this animal that men should wear a shirt in front of an innocent, impressionable young girl - my innocent and impressionable young girl, especially."

"He's wearing a shirt," Steve countered loudly, pointing out the door as he totally drowned out Mindy's words, spoken simultaneously.

"He's wearing a shirt," Mindy confusedly observed as she pointed at Steve, but neither man really heard her.

"He wasn't five minutes ago when he came in making all googley eyes at my daughter. But, of course, you find any excuse to take your shirt off so why wouldn't he?" Danny shouted at Steve.

"Danny? Danny?" Mindy spoke loudly to get his attention. "Why don't you take a deep breath and calmly tell us what's going on?"

"Danny doesn't do calm," Steve grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Danny?" Mindy said softly, defusing the growing hostility between the two contrarian best friends as she stepped slightly between them.

Mindy's calming presence working wonders on him, Danny closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then let it out very slowly before adjusting his arm in the sling. "I'm losing my little girl," Danny sighed. "She looked at Nahele in a way I've never seen her look at a boy before. I never want to see my little girl look at a guy like that." He slumped back against the counter.

Steve remembered just a few weeks earlier hearing Danny tell Grace that as soon as she even looked at a boy he would send her to a convent. "Danny, hold off on the convent. They've known each other for over a year now. They're friends."

"Friends I can deal with, Steven. This was not a friend look. I know a friend look. This was definitely not that. A few days ago she had a crush on an actor and wanted me to track him down so she could meet him and now…" His voice rose and his left arm waved before he stopped and sighed again. "And now…"

"And now your little girl is growing up," Mindy said soothingly. "But, you know what? I've just spent the last few hours in that room painting with her and I'd say a good 75 percent of the time she was talking about that actor. She told me about the movies he was in and the ones he wrote and directed. She told me about the plays he was in and the tv show he does now. She showed me the book of plays he wrote and offered to let me read them because they are 'so good' and she's just sure I'll love them as much as she does. She told me all about his life and about how she wants you to take her to Los Angeles someday and use your detective skills to locate him because she'd love to meet him and it would make Lucy jealous because 'she's so over Uncle Steve.'" Mindy finished that last part with a laugh, a wink and a nudge to Steve's shoulder.

"What?" Steve asked. "Lucy?"

"You are such a Neanderthal," Danny told him with a shake of his head and roll of his eyes.

"Danny, she talked so highly of this guy that I'm going to go and check him out myself."

Danny wasn't sure if he liked the idea of Mindy checking another guy out and then checked himself yet again for thinking like that. It wasn't his place. "So, you really don't think I need to worry about this?"

"She's a teenage girl, Danny, hormones and all that and you love her dearly. It can be hard to let go but it's all a part of growing up," Mindy assured him.

"I already had a talk with Charlie. No growing up for him," Danny said, shaking his head and making a swiping motion with his left hand. "He promised to just stay a kid."

"Don't think it works that way, buddy," Steve told him empathetically, having also been calmed by Mindy's pacifying nature.

"The last thing you want is a grown up kid on your hands," Mindy added with an understanding grin.

"Yeah, I know." Danny offered a grin of his own. "I already have one. He commandeers my car and stows hand grenades in my glove box."

"One. One hand grenade," Steve corrected.

"One at a time and that's one too many, and every time you use it, you replace it. That's not normal, Steven. Don't you dare start teaching your SuperSEAL ways to my son - my nice, innocent little son. He thinks you're cool. Can you believe that, Mindy?" he asked, looking at her before turning back to his partner and addressing him again. "You're corrupting him already."

"So now I'm responsible for corrupting both your children?"

"Before you answer that," Mindy cut in, knowing that if she didn't they could go on like this forever. "Charlie's room is all done. Do you want to see it? Just need to wait for the paint to dry to hang up the curtains."

Argument forgotten, both men quickly agreed. "Of course we want to see it." Danny spoke for both of them, since Steve's interest was as given as his own. "But, uh…" He hesitated. His instincts were telling him to wipe the spot of blue paint off her cheek but his head was telling him it was a bad idea. He fidgeted as he noticed both Mindy and Steve look at him quizzically. Mind winning out, sort of, he turned and moved towards the sink, tore a couple paper towels off the roll and wet them, before turning back to Mindy with a lop sided grin. "You have some paint on your cheek," he said as he handed the wet towels to her.

Beside him, Steve grinned at Danny's obvious discomfort as Mindy accepted the offering and reached up to wipe her left cheek.

"No, the other one." Danny pointed to her right check.

She wiped the right cheek now. "Did I get it?"

"Nope."

She reached the paper towel towards Danny. "Can you help me?" Another internal conflict ensued and in a heartbeat, Steve stepped closer.

"I'll help you. Danno's too handicapped to help."

"Whoa, an officer and a gentleman. Imagine that," Danny said with a snarky tone, covering up his embarrassing hesitation. "They teach you that in Army school?"

"Navy, Danny," Steve said as he stepped away from Mindy's freshly cleaned cheek. "All done."

"I'm presentable now?"

"You're always presentable," Danny assured her, causing Steve to smirk. "Let's go see that room before Charlie's too old for firefighter sheets."

"I thought you said he wasn't going to grow up?" Steve teased.

"Shut up," Danny growled back good-naturedly.

"Be nice," Steve taunted.

"Wow!" Danny exclaimed as he stepped into the room. The transformation was astonishing. The bland white walls, this morning still bearing vague outlines of pictures hung there by the previous owners, were now a beautiful sky blue. The old pullout sofa bed had been replaced with a solid oak trundle bed that Danny had chosen. The sheets that Grace had picked out for her little brother bore pictures of fire trucks and firefighters and firedogs – everything that Charlie fantasized about since finding out his newest Grandpa had been a firefighter. This was his son's room, not just some extra room where his son could sleep.

Mindy and Amy smiled broadly at the compliment.

"This is awesome," Steve agreed.

Danny found himself choking up a bit - he was very much a 'wear your emotions on your sleeve' kind of guy. He cleared his throat. "Charlie will love this – having his own room here, just makes it all so real. I can't…"

"Don't even try," Amy told him. "We're ohana."

"Mahalo," Danny said, shakily, anyway.

"You take your meds?" Steve asked, seeing his best friend adjusting his arm in the sling with a wince, his face pale.

Danny glared at him. He really didn't need somebody to tell time for him, but it was particularly embarrassing in front of other people. He took his medications as he was supposed to, but he didn't like to make a show of it.

Steve held his hands up in a peaceful gesture. "All right. All right. Just trying to help. You going to give me that death glare if I suggest you go lie down for a while?"

Danny glared harder. He was worn out and hurting, he couldn't deny that to himself, but he didn't want to show it.

"He's right, Danny. You look really tired," Amy added, helpfully. "Go lie down for a while."

"My house is full of people - people who are here to help me. I can't go take a nap like a baby."

Steve sighed before shaking his head and turning his hands up to heaven in a frustrated supplicating gesture.

"Those people are your friends, your ohana," Mindy told Danny calmly. "Every single one of them understands that you are still recovering. If they didn't understand that, they wouldn't be here to help. So, Steve will go back outside and do whatever it was he was doing. Probably in charge of something is my guess," Mindy said, giving Steve a friendly nudge into the hallway, causing Danny to smile.

"But I need to get things ready for dinner," Danny protested, standing by the door leading out of the room.

"Amy and I will wash up and then take care of that," Mindy volunteered with an affirming nod from Amy.

"But you won't know where everything is."

"I know my way around your kitchen, Danny." Mindy thwarted his protest. She stepped towards him now and placed her hand gently on his back, nudging him through the door as she had done with Steve.

"Mindy, I'm okay."

"No Danny. You're not. You need to rest. Pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion is not the way to thank people who are here to make sure you don't do that very thing."

He stopped just outside the door and turned to look at Mindy with a pleading look. "It just doesn't feel right, Mindy. It's my house."

Mindy allowed him to voice his concerns, listened to what he was saying and provided sound and reasonable responses to them. She could feel his struggle. "I know it doesn't feel right. I know it bothers you. I know it hurts your stubborn Jersey pride, but it's not right to push yourself any further and have Grace or any of these people who love you watch you hurt yourself even further by overdoing it."

"But somebody may need something."

"Then we'll handle it. Eric and Grace know where things are and I'm sure Steve and even Chin can find things in a pinch." Steve nodded his agreement before Mindy went on adding more with a grin. "And you know that I'll know exactly where you put things, right?"

"Great minds think alike, I know." Danny grinned back, remembering the first day she made dinner for him and seemed to know instinctively where everything was.

"So, what do you say? Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you're not tired?"

Danny and Mindy locked eyes. He couldn't lie to her. "I am pretty beat," he admitted.

"A bit sore too, by the looks of it," she opined.

"Yeah." Danny conceded.

"Do you trust us to handle things here for a couple hours?" Mindy asked.

"Of course I trust you, but all I need is one hour, max."

"How about we get you to bed and if you sleep longer than that then I promise to wake you before dinner?"

"If you need something…"

"If we really need you, we'll wake you."

Danny nodded tiredly and they began to walk down the hall.

As the two walked away, Amy looked stunned. "How did she do that?" she asked Steve. "Danny's as stubborn as they come. You and I were losing that fight."

Steve shrugged and grinned. "I have no idea." Danny didn't agree just to please Mindy, of that he was sure. He had agreed because Mindy had somehow managed to make him see logic and accept his limitations without humiliating him.

Mindy did not hesitate to enter Danny's room. She had been in there to help him with his PT a few times, most recently just the evening before. She began to help him to remove the sling. "Do you need anything before you sleep?"

"Yeah, would you mind closing the blinds?" The blinds that Melissa had helped him pick out and install. "I'm wiped out."

Mindy was surprised by the admission, but not by the fact. Danny had been dealing with too much lately. "Sure. Let's get you settled first." She removed the sling and, placing it aside, began to rotate and flex his arm a few times, helping to keep the muscles as loose as possible. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, yeah, there is. Can you keep an eye on Grace for me out there? She's still young and naïve." He began to unbutton his shirt.

Mindy smiled. "Yes, of course I'll keep an eye on her for you." First, she soothed his concern and then she addressed it. "But she's just a young teenage girl attracted to a nice, good looking teenage boy."

"She said he looked hot! Can you believe that? My little girl told a boy he looked hot."

"Danny, it's 80F out there and he had been shoveling dirt and hauling concrete for hours. Of course he's hot."

"She was staring at him, all googley eyed. He smiled at her and called her Gracie."

Mindy tried not to laugh. Danny was so fiercely protective and such a doting father. "It's perfectly normal."

His shirt unbuttoned, Danny pulled his left arm behind him as Mindy began the job of helping him take the shirt off without him having to twist his back too much, which would aggravate the open wound.

"Perfectly normal? That's what scares me. I need to protect her from perfectly normal teenage boys. Guys only have one thing in mind and I don't want my daughter to have anything to do with it."

"Oh yeah? Is that all guys you are summarily judging or just some of them?" Mindy asked as she tugged his shirt off of his muscular left arm.

"All of them. Every last one of them. Especially when they see a beautiful woman. Trust me, they only have one thing on their mind and it's not good." He was ready for a rant.

Mindy couldn't help herself. "Does that include you?" She pulled the shirt down his motionless right arm and placed it neatly on the back of the chair by the bed to wear again after his nap.

Danny froze in place as they locked gazes. "Me? What?" Rarely at a loss for words, Danny had no idea what to say. Mindy was a beautiful woman and he most certainly found her attractive. But, he didn't have that 'one thing' on his mind when he looked at her. When he looked at her, it was not how she made him feel physically that was foremost on his mind, it was how she made him feel inside. She made him feel valued, she made him feel calm, she made him feel confident to face the future no matter what it brought. He spent much of his life with this anxious, itchy feeling that made him feel like he was going to jump right out of his skin, but when he was with Mindy it was different. He didn't want her thinking that he was thinking impure thoughts about her. "No. No. Well, not with you anyway," he stammered.

"Only me?" Mindy asked, surprised. She helped him to ease down onto his side and then propped pillows behind his back.

"Yeah, only you," Danny admitted tiredly.

In Danny's heart the intention was to compliment her, but in his worn out and flustered state his words had run off before he could even think them through. On her side though, Mindy didn't know what he meant when he said 'only you' didn't make him think 'those thoughts' and she wasn't sure at all how to take it. She couldn't look him in the eye lest he see the painful confusion. She moved towards the first window and reached to close the blinds.

Mindy had turned away and he suddenly realized that he had somehow hurt her. He tried to recall what it was that he had said and he honestly could not even pull the words back into his head. They were talking about Grace and Nahele and about boys and then he wasn't sure how the conversation might have digressed so badly from there. It was amazing how quickly he could screw up his relationships. "Hey, uh, I meant that in the best possible way."

"Of course," Mindy replied as she closed the next blind.

"Mindy? Come here, please?" Danny pleaded, way too tired to drag himself off the bed. "Please?" He repeated as he patted the bed next to him. The room was dark now with the blinds closed and the only light was what filtered in from the hallway.

She moved to the side of the bed. "You should get some sleep." She tried not to look at him, but she couldn't help herself. His eyes captivated her. They always spoke volumes and nowhere in their depths did she see anything hurtful.

"Yeah, in a minute." He patted the bed once more. "Please?"

How many times had he said 'please,' she wondered in the last minute? His beseeching eyes held her spellbound. She couldn't resist. Hesitantly, Mindy sat down by his legs, close to his feet, staring at her hands.

Scrubbing his hand down his face, he tried to pull his thoughts together quickly, afraid she might flee the room and never come back. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm tired and my head is pounding and I hurt all over and I don't even remember what I just said but I think maybe I hurt your feelings and that's the absolute last thing on earth I want to do so I'm hoping that maybe we can just like, turn back the clock somehow, pretend I didn't say whatever it was that I said that I shouldn't have said and table this discussion for another time when maybe I feel like a human being and can remember what I said longer than 30 seconds after I say it." He moved for her hand but she had settled so far away that he had to stretch to reach it, eliciting a slight groan at the movement. He touched the back of her hand lightly. "Please?" he said, yet again.

She felt a wonderful warm buzz flow up her arm as he touched her and she raised her eyes to finally look at him again. His eyes pleaded with her even more than his words did and Mindy relented rather readily. She still wasn't quite sure what had happened but she was willing to chalk it up to his poor health, nagging headache and exhaustion. She nodded in agreement. "No need to apologize. You've pushed yourself too hard and you need your rest."

Danny returned the nod, relieved. "You won't leave or anything will you?" He hated sounding like a scared child but he didn't want her walking out of the house just because he was a complete idiot.

"I'm on call for the whole day, but barring that, I'm not going anywhere," she promised as she rose from the bed, helped him get situated again and tucked the thin blanket over his bare shoulder.

Danny smiled, his eyes drifting shut as his body forced him to rest. "I'm not going anywhere, either," he murmured.

It was all that either of them needed to hear right now.


	73. Chapter 73

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Forgot to add this to the last chapter: Thanks to .73 who gave me some input on the "gift" for the 1000th review and the "epic bedroom scene" that resulted from it.

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Later, when dinner was about ready, Steve stepped into Danny's darkened room to wake him up before everybody came in to the house to eat. "Hey buddy," he said softly, but got no response. He crossed the room and opened the blinds slightly to let in just a little bit of light, but not so much as to startle him out of his sleep. Returning to the bedside, he took in the sight of his friend, shaking his head at what he saw. His partner was lying once again on his left side, keeping the pressure off of his unhealed wounded and his unfeeling arm. The bruises on his face were muted in the dark, while the stark white of the bandage on his bare back stood out like a beacon. Even in his sleep, his best friend looked pained and stressed. "Danny?" He nudged Danny's hip. "Danno?"

"Go away," Danny finally grumbled in reply.

"And what do you want me to tell all the people here to help you? That Rip van Winkle needs more beauty sleep?"

Danny groaned and buried his face in the pillow.

"Okay, I'll tell them all to go home." Steve nudged Danny on the hip again. "One question, though. Should I tell them thank you first or just throw them out?"

"Shut up, Steven," Danny growled as he pulled himself awake with a yawn.

"You were telling me you were fine and now you've been sleeping a couple hours and you're still tired."

"Slept all of five minutes before you woke me up," Danny grumped, squeezing his temples with his left hand.

"You okay?"

Danny puffed out a breath. His head was pounding unmercifully and his body ached from head to toe – nothing new from the past two months – but he hadn't slept well and that added to his woes. "Yeah, just great. Help me up, huh?" He could get up by himself but with only one working hand and a hole in his back it was easier with help. He now sat on the edge of the bed, working the kinks out of his neck.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" Steve asked, sitting down next to him on the bed. "You were exhausted and don't try to deny it."

Danny didn't even try. "Damn brain won't stop." Melissa, Mindy, Grace, Nahele, Charlie, Stan, Rachel – not to mention his freaking arm…

Steve nodded in understanding. "You got a lot going on buddy."

"Everybody's got a lot going on," Danny countered, "and yet they're here, helping me get my crap together." Throw in massive feelings of guilt to top off the list, like the cherry on a Sundae.

"You'll never get your crap together."

"Thanks for the overwhelming display of confidence," Danny grumbled before switching gears. "Mindy okay?"

The quick switch caught Steve off guard. "Why wouldn't she be?"

"Just answer the question. Did she seem okay to you?"

"Seemed fine to me. She knows most of the people here." He still wondered why Danny would ask about her specifically but tried not to read too much into the query. "Had she met Grace before?"

"No. Why?" Danny asked, concerned.

"They've been working together in the kitchen, that's all."

"Like Grace is her sous chef or something?" Finally ready to stand, Danny reached his hand out to Steve as he spoke.

"Sous chef?" Silently, Steve stood up and reached his own hand out and grabbed his friend's, pulling him to his feet.

"Seriously, Steven? You don't know what a sous chef is? Don't they teach you anything in the army?" Danny trudged towards the bathroom; his right arm hanging by his side and the sterile white dressings on his back serving as glaring reminders of Danny's continuing battle.

"Navy, Danny," Steve corrected.

"It means an assistant. It's French," Danny called over his shoulder, ignoring Steve's correction as the bathroom door clicked shut. He spoke again minutes later when he had finished and once again re-entered the bedroom "Would you mind doing me a favor?" He hated to ask, but his options were limited.

"Now that you're out of there, yeah sure," Steve replied, indicating the bathroom.

"I can pee by myself, thank you very much," Danny retorted sharply. While he truly appreciated all the help he was given, it could still be rather humiliating.

"You need me to dress you, then?" Steve wasn't above teasing Danny even when he was grouchy, maybe especially when he was grouchy.

Danny glared. "Bite me. I'll take an Uber."

"You have a house full of people," Steve objected.

"I don't mean now, you putz."

"You gunna tell me where you want to go?"

Danny deflated with a sigh, before looking at Steve. "Diamond Point."

He needn't say any more. Steve knew that the beautiful, peaceful lookout had become Danny's "thinking spot," helping the anxiety laden man deal with some of the curveballs life had thrown at him. As far as Steve knew, Danny had not been there since the stabbing and Danny had so much piled on top of him since then so he had a lot to think about. Steve stopped the teasing and replied seriously. "Yeah, sure buddy. We'll work it out."

"Thanks, babe." Danny really needed to go to that lookout and clear his head and only Steve knew about his deep connection with that special spot so he was the only one he'd ask for a ride.

The partners then continued to speak as Steve helped Danny put his immobile right arm into the sleeve of the shirt, then pulled it up and across his broad back as Danny moved his left arm behind him to snag that sleeve as well. "What are we going to do about them, Steve?"

"Who is 'them'?"

Over his shoulder, Danny gave Steve a disbelieving look. Could he be that stupid? "Your elevator doesn't go all the way to the top does it? Grace and Nahele, you moron."

"What about them? I told you before, they're friends." Steve carefully pulled the shirt up over Danny's wounded back and across his muscular shoulders.

Turning back towards his friend, Danny argued his point of view. "Friends don't make googley eyes, Steven. You have to talk to him."

"And say what?" Steve tugged the two sides together in the front before Danny slapped his hands away.

"Tell him to stay the hell away from my daughter, for starters." He reached down with his left hand to begin buttoning his shirt.

"So now you're not going to let them near each other?"

"Only under my supervision." He continued to fumble with the first button.

"Isn't it usually the old grandmas who chaperone?"

"You see any grandmas in this pineapple infested hell-hole?"

"Look Danny, it's Nahele. You know him."

"I know he's a teenage boy and teenage boys only have one thing in mind. What did you think about when you were a teenager?"

"Football," Steve answered.

"And what did being the big hero quarterback get you?" Danny asked before answering his own question. "Girls. Lots of girls. And were you looking for scintillating conversation with these girls?"

Steve couldn't help the smirk.

"There. See." Danny stopped the futile attempt at buttoning his shirt and pointed at him. "The face. You have a face."

"I don't have a face."

"It's the 'Danny's right again but I can't ever admit it', face."

Steve shook his head. He understood Danny's need to protect his daughter, but he needed to think rationally about it. "Listen to me, Danny." He grabbed Danny's shirt, shoved Danny's hand away as he tried to intervene and began to fasten the buttons. "Nahele is a good kid. You know that. Who better for Grace to have her first interest in?"

"I prefer the actor who is safely tucked away in Los Angeles."

Steve ignored that remark. "We don't even know if Nahele 's interested in her but do you really think he would ever do anything to hurt Gracie?"

"I'd kick his ass."

"I know you would," Steve agreed. "He knows it, too. But, you really think it would ever come to that?"

Danny sighed and said nothing.

"Would you rather it be some other boy from her class? Maybe one you don't even know? Or that Tommy kid?"

Mentioning Tommy was the last straw. "Shut up, okay? Shut up."

"Okay." Steve continued buttoning the shirt.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yeah, fine." With the last button done, Danny grabbed the sling and they began getting his arm settled properly in it.

"Fine, as in, you won't be sending her to the convent?"

"Not this week."

"Good," Steve said with a satisfied laugh as he fastened the strap behind Danny's back and slapped him playfully on his good shoulder. "There ya go princess. You ready?"

"Yeah." He allowed Steve to pull him to his feet again and he took a moment to steady himself.

"You gunna behave yourself?" Steve asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Angry father. Googley eyed teens." Steve once again was pushing Danny's buttons.

"Shut up."

"They breed 'em tough in Jersey is what I heard. I just want to be prepared."

"I said shut up."

"I don't have to put a protection detail on Nahele, do I?"

"If you don't shut up, Steven, you'll be the one needing protection."


	74. Chapter 74

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Wow! I was totally blown away by all the compliments on my bantering boys. I'm glad you loved it so much. Thank you, thank you! Your kind reviews make squeezing time to write into my schedule so very worthwhile.

A/N I just have to add that I loved ep 7.08. To me, this season has been so much better than seasons 5 or 6 and this episode topped them all. I really appreciate the quality of work of the new writers and their dedication to returning to the heart of Hawaii Five-0.

H50 H50 H50

Once Danny was dressed and ready again, the partners made their way out of Danny's room and headed towards the living area when a voice, Charlie's sweet young voice, made Danny stop in his tracks and look at Steve.

"Gracie's handiwork," Steve told him with a knowing smile. "He hasn't seen the room yet. She was waiting for you to show him."

Danny grinned in return. Apparently his monkey had not only made Charlie's bedroom her personal project and convinced Rachel to let her get it ready but also to let the boy come here to see it as well – on Rachel's day with the kids. Man, he loved that girl. He heard the excited little voice again, saying, "Mindy, I'm all done. Come see."

Steve explained. "Mindy had him snapping green beans when I went to wake you."

"He loves doing that," Danny told him as he began moving again, eager to see his son.

They entered the kitchen to see Charlie holding up a bowl of freshly snapped green beans and proudly showing them to a smiling Mindy who wiped her hands off on a towel before patting Charlie encouragingly on the head. Grace was by the stove, stirring a pot.

Danny paused in his tracks for a moment as he took in the sight; sun streaming through the windows cast an ethereal glow on the scene of domestic bliss. It looked like it was out of some feel-good Hallmark movie. Suddenly, the awkward situation with Mindy earlier flashed before his eyes and the moment was lost. Sighing, he forced the thought away as he heard his son speak.

The boy turned as they entered and his smile widened even further. "Danno! Look what I did! I'm Mindy's sous chef too!"

"Nice job, Tiger," Danny complimented as he reached his arm out to his son, who eagerly stepped into his embrace.

"Hey Charlie," Steve said. "Where'd you learn that word sous chef?"

The boy's face twisted in confusion. "I just know it, that's all."

Danny glanced at Steve with a smirk that said 'even a four year old knows what a sous chef is'.

"He's been a terrific help, Danny," Mindy told him. "Looks to me like Charlie has snapped green beans before."

Still pressed to his father's side Charlie's smile beamed even brighter as he looked up at him. "My Danno taught me."

"Well, he taught you very well," Mindy assured him.

"We used to help Danno make dinner every time we came here," the boy told Mindy. "He doesn't make dinner anymore, because of his booboo."

"Did you like making dinner with Danno?" Mindy asked, clearly knowing how to engage the young boy in conversation.

"Yeah, it's fun, right Gracie?" He turned to look at his sister who was gazing out the window while absentmindedly stirring the pot on the stove.

Knowing full well what, or should he say who, was engaging his daughter's attention, Danny shook his head with a soft growl.

"Grace has been a wonderful sous chef," Mindy said, recognizing the need to distract his thoughts. "You've obviously taught her a few things in the kitchen as well."

"I don't think she learned anything useful from Danny." Steve chipped in his unsolicited two cents worth.

"Don't you have something to do outside?" Danny asked him with a growl.

"Nope," Steve answered, innocently.

Charlie spoke up again. "Did you have a good nap, Danno?

"Yes, I did Tiger. And then I found out you were here. Looks like you and your sister conspired to surprise me."

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like suppwises," Charlie replied from behind soulful brown eyes that looked so much like Rachel and Grace's.

"No. Don't be sorry. This is a good surprise, an excellent surprise."

Charlie beamed with pride as Danny then moved over to where Grace still stood by the stove, standing as a silent sentinel over the bubbling sauce. "And you, Grace, are full of surprises today." The fact that some of them were much nicer surprises than others was left unsaid as he came up next to her and kissed her on her cheek.

Placing the spoon on the spoon rest, Grace turned and reached to her father who didn't disappoint as he pulled her into a warm and firm hug and kissed her again. "I love you, Danno."

"I love you more, Monkey," Danny replied, all of the tension of earlier having melted away between the fiercely devoted father and daughter. "You ready to show your brother the surprise you have for him?"

"Suppwise?" Charlie shouted excitedly from behind. "I like suppwises."

Danny looked over to Mindy now, who had turned back to diligently preparing a salad for the large group. "Hey Mindy, is it alright with you if I take your two sous chefs away for a minute?"

"Uncle Steve can be your sous chef," Charlie offered.

Mindy and Danny laughed. "It's okay, Charlie," she said.

"Why is that funny?" Steve asked, but received no reply beyond an incredulous look from his partner.

"Come on," Grace said as she headed eagerly towards the door.

Charlie jumped down from the chair and started to run after her. "Come on, Danno."

Grace and Danny made sure they entered the room before the boy as Grace turned her phone on to record his reaction for posterity.

Charlie's eyes grew wide as he looked around.

"What do you think, Tiger? Didn't Grace do a great job?"

The blond headed bundle of energy moved to the bed and picked up his 'Powees bear' that Danny had given him from the hospital. Giving it a tight squeeze, he looked at the covers. "Fire trucks!" He turned and looked at Danny. "Does Eric like fire trucks?"

Understanding dawning on the older blond, he squatted down to one knee to look Charlie in the eye. It wasn't easy, given his condition, but he could manage. "Of course he does. Your grandpa is a firefighter after all, right? Eric will always like fire trucks. But Gracie picked these out for you. This is your room."

"Mine? I have my own room in your house? Just like Grace?"

"It's not MY house, Tiger. It's OUR house. You, Gracie and me."

"Do you like it Charlie?" Grace asked.

He nodded his head vigorously. "It's really cool." Then he began to chew on his lower lip, much like his father when he was deep in thought. "But where will Eric sleep?"

"Well, Eric will be moving to his own apartment soon. Remember we talked about that?" Danny told him. When the boy nodded, he went on. "But take a look at this." From where he knelt on the floor, Danny reached around his son who instinctively stepped out of the way. Grabbing a hold of the handle, Danny smoothly slid the hidden trundle bed out from under the bed.

"Wow!" Charlie exclaimed, wide eyes with fascination. "It's magic."

"It's called a trundle bed. So, Eric can sleep in here with you. When you're a bit older, you can have a friend come for a sleepover. So, what do you think?"

"Can Wokoli sleep over tomorrow?"

"I said when you're older, Tiger. Tomorrow doesn't count. Besides, you need to get back to your mom's house tonight."

Charlie deflated. "Aw, do I have to?"

"Yeah buddy. This was just a little surprise. But you'll be back here in a few days and then maybe you and Eric can have a sleep over. You'll have to ask him."

"Thank you, Danno." Charlie carefully wrapped his arms around his father's neck. He knew by now that he needed to be cautious around his injured father.

"Your sister planned the surprise and picked out the fire trucks and stuff," Danny replied after returning the embrace. "What do you say?"

"Thanks sis!"

The two siblings exchanged a hug as Danny shakily rose from the floor. "Now, who's ready to go help get dinner on the table. We have an army to feed."

"It's Navy, Danno," Charlie corrected, having heard the same thing from their Uncle Steve many times over.

"You'll have to leave this guy here," Danny said, gently patting the bear still snuggled in the boy's arm.

After the blond boy made sure that his fluffy friend was comfortably hibernating on his brand new bed, the three made their way back out to the kitchen. "Mindy," Charlie exclaimed cheerily as if the two had been buddies for a long time. "I have my own room now in OUR house. Wanna see? Danno says it's mine but Eric can sleep there too and when I'm older but not tomorrow my friend can sleep there because there's a magic bed under my bed. Wanna see? And Gracie picked out fire trucks and fire dogs because my new Grandpa is a firefighter and Eric likes fire trucks, too because my new Grandpa is his Grandpa too. Come see." He grabbed her hand and tugged, eager to show off his new room to somebody.

"I see that those two have become fast friends," Danny said to Grace with a huge grin as Charlie dragged a willing Mindy down the hall.

"She's really nice. I like her. She was able to get Charlie to calm down when he was bouncing all over the place and Uncle Steve was afraid he was going to wake you up if he didn't hush."

Danny nodded his head in astonished appreciation.

When the work crew were called in for dinner, they filled their plates and then found spots wherever they could – at the kitchen table, dining room table or balancing a plate on their lap on the sofa. Grace and Nahele settled next to each other while Charlie maneuvered so that he sat between his exciting honorary Uncle Steve and his newly minted friend Mindy with his very own beloved Danno across the table from them.

When dinner and cleanup was over, Danny got the 'all clear' sign from Steve and he turned to Charlie who was crawling under the kitchen table making his miniature sleek black sports car chase down another carload of bad guys.

"Hey Tiger! Have you had enough surprises for today or do you want one more?" He winked at Steve, both knowing exactly what the little boy's answer would be.

"More! More!" Abandoning the chase, the preschooler scrambled out from under the table and was quickly bouncing up and down in excitement. "Where is it?"

Danny and Steve exchanged a look and Steve spoke as he reached his arms out. "Come here and we'll show you."

Steve lifted his best friend's little boy into his arms. "Now close your eyes."

Charlie dutifully closed them, burying his face into Steve's shoulder when Steve caught him trying to peak. Then the pair followed Danny out the door.

"You ready, Tiger?" Danny asked, from his place beside them.

Charlie nodded his head against Steve's shirt. "Mmhmm."

"Take a look then."

Charlie opened his eyes, lifted his head and took in the sight before him. A large wooden swing set complete with a slide, a climbing wall and a 'tree house' stood atop a bed of cushioning wood chips.

The entire work crew watched in eager anticipation as Charlie's eyes widened in joy at the sight of their handiwork. The blond boy screeched with delight before shifting in Steve's arms and looking at his father. "Can I stay here forever, Danno? Please?"

HHHHH

A/N I know that it would take more than a day to complete some of these "handy man" tasks but for the purposes of this story, it is possible – with lots of help and miraculously drying paint and concrete… ;)


	75. Chapter 75

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N ***** PLEASE READ this author's note. ***** Today is the first anniversary of posting the first chapter of this story, so I'm giving you a surprise. This chapter was guest written by first-time author Avieryfriend. Nervous about trying her hand at writing, I urged her to give it a shot by offering her an idea and a guest spot in the story. She took it from there and I'm so impressed with her work. I'm sure you'll love it as well. *****

Author's Note from Avieryfriend: Most of you know me from the reviews I have left and that I am crazy about H50. I love Danny's character, played amazingly by Scott Caan, and the relationship that he and Steve have on the series. I am not a writer, in other words, I have not ever written a story, although it has been a secret passion of mine. I only started reading fanfiction around 2014, in fact, I did not know it even existed. (I know that is hard to believe, isn't it?) In some private PM's between myself and Cubit2, I somehow divulged my fantasy/desire to write fanfiction and she urged me on. So here it is, good, bad or ugly. Hope you enjoy.

H50 H50 H50

Steve secretly smiled to himself at Danny's impatient rant. They were on route to pick up Charlie from morning pre-school and Danny did not want to be late. To make sure of that, they had left thirty minutes ahead of time, and now they were stuck in one lane of traffic, just blocks from the pre-school, that had not moved in 10 minutes.

"They're probably setting up for the Christmas parade this evening," Steve surmised.

"Christmas in Hawaii, Ho, Ho, Ho," Danny scowled. "Christmas is supposed to be cold, with snow, and we should be wearing coats and hats and not riding around in short sleeves and sweating. Feels like its 95 freaking degrees."

Steve looked at the truck's display. "Its 83° right now Danny and it's beautiful." He rolled the windows down and stuck his arm out and grinned. "Blue sky, light breeze, and the decorations downtown are beautiful. Put's you right in the Christmas spirit!"

"Yes, snowmen with surfboards and palm trees, so very 'merry'." Danny huffed.

"Hey, the lights at night are fantastic. We should bring Charlie back tonight and see the parade if you're up to it. He would love it!" Steve desperately tried to brighten the mood. "He would have fun, you know."

"Yeah, well if we can ever get to the school to pick him up." Danny's left arm was quite animated. "Why would they put a pre-school in the heart of downtown Honolulu, huh? They even have a loading zone, Steven. Can you believe that? Rachel can't have Charlie in any ordinary pre-school." Using his left hand to signal a quotation mark, Danny went on. "No, this is the 'prestigious' Strode Montessori preschool. Do you know what that means? It means dollar signs Steve, lots and lots of dollar signs."

He threw Steve a glance as his gestures grew bigger. "It costs over ten grand a year, can you believe that?" He ran his hand through his hair and blew out a breath of frustration. "I'm going to have to take him out of this school, I just can't afford it, not to mention the 'back child support' that Stan is suing for." Danny shifted in his seat and lifted his right arm up with his left hand and tried to adjust it in the sling. His back was killing him and there were beads of perspiration on his forehead. "This arm is totally useless," he added in frustration.

Steve studied Danny's face and saw him grimace as he adjusted his arm. "Are you taking your pain pills like you're supposed to? You know they don't work if you don't take them every four hours."

Danny threw Steve a hard look. "Who are you, my mother? Yes Steven, for your information, I have been taking my pain pills…most of the time, but since Doc's cut my dose in half, they're totally worthless. I still have a damn hole in my back, if I take a pain pill, I should get some relief."

"So did you take one before we left, or not?" Steve demanded. "I stopped calling you with reminders like you asked, but that doesn't mean you should stop taking them."

"I took one this morning when I got up".

Steve glanced at his watch. "Just one? What time?"

Danny rubbed his temples and shook his head in exasperation. "I don't know Steve; you know morning, like 6 am. Hell, I don't know, I didn't sleep worth a crap, and yes, just one. I wanted to have my wits about me when we picked up Charlie. I want to be able to enjoy time with my son and not feel like I need to go to bed, and before you ask, no; I did not take the muscle relaxers either." Danny's jaw was set and Steve knew that look. He was stubborn as hell.

"Danny, that was six hours ago. No wonder you feel like crap." Hands free while they were stopped in traffic, Steve reached into the console and pulled out a bottle, popped the top and held one out to Danny. "Here, take it and drink some water."

"Jesus Steve, you're carrying my meds around with you? Did Doc set you up?" Danny's voice ratcheted up a notch.

"I was just prepared Danny, you know, in case you didn't take it. And besides, you want to have fun with Charlie, don't you? You don't want to go around with a scowl on your face all afternoon because you're in pain. Kids are perceptive as hell, and he'll know something's wrong."

Danny thought for a moment and reached out his hand, "For your information, I don't scowl, but give me the damn pill; I'll take it if it makes you happy."

Satisfied Steve folded his arms and gave Danny the look.

Danny rolled his eyes. "What's with the look?"

"What look?"

"You know what look. That smirky smug, I just won look. It's the look you give me when you think you just pulled a fast one on me, kinda between kiss my ass and I told you so. So are you happy now?"

"Yes, as a matter of a fact I am," Steve replied smugly. He gestured towards the lane of vehicles in front of them. "Look, traffic is starting to move up ahead, we'll be there in just a few minutes. You know, Charlie is going to be excited to see you. It's going to be a good day." Danny didn't reply and Steve shot him a sideways glance. Danny was staring out the window deep in thought. Steve hesitated for a moment contemplating what to say and then continued. "You know it's going to be OK. You've done so well and you've come so far. Hell, for a while we didn't know if you were even going to make it. Don't short change yourself Danny. Recovering from an injury like this takes time and it's only been a little over a month. You've been so positive and optimistic about getting the use of your arm back. What gives?"

Danny chewed his lip and sighed. "I'm trying to be optimistic, I really am Steve, but I'm a realist, you know that. This arm is dead weight, no feeling, nothing, like it's not even a part of my body. I just can't think of how I will cope with this in the future if it doesn't get better. I need two hands Steve, two arms to be your partner."

Steve raised his eyebrows and gave Danny an amused quizzical look.

A smile crossed Danny's lips. "Hey partner, I love you, but not like that. The fact of the matter is, I don't want you getting your crazy ass killed because I can't watch your back. Besides, who is going to do all that damn paperwork you refuse to do? Don't worry, I'm not giving up, I'm just not sure of how I will manage my life if this is permanent."

Steve had no time to reply as they pulled up in the loading zone. Danny quickly unfastened his seatbelt and carefully slid out of the truck. Steve watched him go through the front doors of the school to sign Charlie out. He shook his head and sighed. They had a great day planned for Charlie and he knew how important it was for Danny. This was the first time since before he was attacked that Danny and Charlie would have quality time together alone, without Grace. Of course he would be there, but this was Danny's day and more than anything he wanted him to be happy.

As Danny headed toward the entrance, the thought of seeing Charlie's smiling face instantly lifted his spirits. He walked towards his classroom, sidestepping parents and children as they were leaving. A few stopped and asked him how he was doing, having read what had happened in the newspaper. As he neared Charlie's classroom, he saw his teacher by the door. He put his finger to his lips and winked. She nodded and smiled, understanding what he meant. He peaked in the doorway and looked for Charlie. Charlie was by his cubicle struggling with his backpack and a Christmas bag. "Do you need help there, Tiger?"

Charlie instantly spun around. "Danno!" he squealed. The backpack fell to the floor and he ran towards Danny. Danny knelt down and braced himself, but Charlie suddenly stopped and then walked cautiously towards him with a look of concern on his face. "Is your arm OK?"

Danny smiled and held out his left arm. "Hey Tiger, I'm good," and with that he gave Charlie a big squeeze. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Danno," Charlie said as he snuggled deep in Danny's shoulder.

Danny smiled and ruffled Charlie's hair. "Guess what? Uncle Steve is waiting in the truck for us and we got a big day planned! Now what do you say we get your backpack on and get out of here?" He helped Charlie with his backpack and then picked up the Christmas bag and peeked inside. "What do you have here Charlie?"

"It's a present I made all by myself. Do you wanna see it?" Charlie beamed in anticipation as he reached into the bag and pulled out the tissue wrapped gift. "Careful Danno," he said as he handed it to Danny, "teacher says it's BREAKABLE."

Danny smiled at Charlie's vocabulary as he looked at the colorfully wrapped gift. The bright tissue paper sparkled, and he soon realized it was not going to be an easy feat to carefully unwrap the gift that had been so masterfully taped by a four year old, especially using only one hand. "How about we wait and unwrap it when we are at Uncle Steve's? That way he can see it too." With that he gave Charlie a tickle. "Let's get this back in the bag. Uncle Steve will think we got lost and then he'll come looking for us, or maybe he'll send in a whole platoon of marines to find us," Danny teased with a wink. Charlie giggled at the thought of a bunch of soldiers marching down the hall as they headed toward the truck. He couldn't wait to see Uncle Steve and tell him about the present.

Steve was standing by the truck when Danny came out with Charlie. They looked so much alike it was uncanny. It was like seeing a miniature version of Danny, a mini-me. He laughed at the thought of that. Charlie was holding Danny's hand and carrying a bag in the other. Steve opened the back door of the truck and then squatted down to greet Charlie. "How's it going buddy? Did you have fun in school today?"

Charlie gave Uncle Steve a shy grin and nodded. He studied his face and then his smile got wider. "Danno said you might come looking for us."

"Oh, he did, did he? Well, I was just about ready to come in and find you when you came out."

"He said you might send a pla…" he struggled for the word and Danny bent down and very quietly whispered something in his ear. Charlie grinned. "A platoon of marines!" he beamed.

Steve shot Danny a look that said he would get even later.

Charlie held the bag out to Steve. "I made a present. Danno said we can open it at your house."

Steve smiled and took the bag. "Well how about we put it in the truck and get you buckled up so we can get going." He picked up Charlie and placed him in his car seat before fastening the straps. He could feel Danny standing right behind him, although he pretended not to notice. After his third attempt he finally got the four pieces buckled together and he turned triumphantly to face his partner.

"Care to inspect my work?" he smirked.

"No, I trust you."

"Then why were you practically breathing down my neck?"

"I was not breathing down your neck, I was just observing."

Steve crossed his arms. "Observing what?"

"Observing a Navy SEAL with 'super ninja powers' trying to fasten a simple car seat."

Steve disagreed with the "simple" part of that statement - those car seats buckles were confusing - but he'd never admit that to Danny. He rolled his eyes and opened Danny's door. "Do you need help getting buckled in, too?" he grinned.

"Bite me, Steven," Danny growled as he got in, before Steve shut the door behind him grinning even wider.

Danny turned and looked back at Charlie. "You better hold on tight, because Uncle Steve is a crazy driver!"

Steve shook his head as he put the keys in the ignition, "Only with you babe, only with you."

A short while later, Steve smiled as he watched Danny and Charlie from his kitchen window. They were walking barefoot in the sand at the water's edge, the waves barely covering their feet. Charlie's small face was looking up towards Danny. He was laughing and Steve could see his features and arms animate more by the minute. He shook his head. Was the world really ready for two Danny's? He finished cleaning up the dishes from lunch and took the ice-cream from the freezer. Chocolate Moose Tracks, Charlie's favorite. He dished up three bowls and put them on a tray and headed down to the beach.

"Hey Charlie, are you ready for some ice-cream?" Charlie turned at the sound of Steve's voice and then pulled at Danny's hand.

"Come on Danno, hurry!"

Danny half walked/jogged up to the chairs with Charlie and sat down to slip on his shoes and rest for a moment.

Charlie squealed in delight. "What kind of ice-cream, Uncle Steve?" Charlie was on his tiptoes trying to see what was on the tray.

"Your favorite." Steve grinned mischievously as he held the tray up high. "Danno told me what to get. He said it was his favorite too."

"What, Uncle Steve, let me see?" Charlie hopped and squealed.

"Pineapple" Steve said with a wink.

Charlie's face puckered and he frowned. "Uncle Steve, are you telling a fib?"

"It better not be Pineapple." Danny growled as he walked up behind him and peered at the ice-cream. "Pineapple in ice-cream is almost as bad as pineapple on pizza." He winked at Charlie and gave him a fist bump.

Steve laughed and sat down the tray. "Chocolate Moose Track's. Is that better?"

"Yes it is, thank you very much Steven." Danny smiled and handed a bowl to Charlie and took one for himself.

The three sat down and enjoyed the ice cream. Danny laughed at Charlie's face - his mouth and chin covered in chocolate. "You're getting more on you than you're shoveling in!"

Charlie laughed and pointed at Danny's shirt. "You missed too, Danno."

Danny looked down and shook his head. He had tried to balance the bowl on his lap and eat the quickly melting ice-cream but had dribbled some on his shirt.

"Well, I can solve this problem," Steve said. He had thought ahead and brought a washcloth with him and deftly wiped Charlie's face and hands when he was finished. He then turned to Danny waving the washcloth with a mischievous grin that made Charlie shriek with laughter.

"Thank you, but no, I can clean up myself." Danny held up his good arm in defense and laughed as he backed up. "I think I'll just go inside and give myself a once over. You and Charlie go throw the football around and I'll be back in a minute."

Danny made his way up to the house and washed up. Secretly he was beginning to wish he had brought his muscle relaxers with him, but he would never admit that to Steve. As he started back down towards the beach, he hesitated, and then stopped to watch. Steve was on his knees gently tossing Charlie the football. Charlie caught the football and took off running. "Catch me, Uncle Steve," he squealed. Steve feigned a tackle and missed. He fell in the sand and rolled over and laid on his back pretending to be out of breath. Charlie pounced on him and giggled.

Danny felt like he was almost intruding on something private and personal. Something he should be doing. A moment between a father and a son. A small pang of jealously gripped him momentarily and then it was replaced by a sense of sadness and loss. He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. This wasn't the time or the place. It was a feeling he had to compartmentalize and deal with later and it had nothing to do with Steve. He pushed back his hair and planted a smile on his face. If anything he should be grateful for this day and having Steve with them was a godsend.

Just as he neared the beach, Charlie called out to him. "Danno, I beat Uncle Steve in football. Do you wanna play?"

Before Danny had a chance to reply, Steve sat up and quickly brushed the sand off himself and Charlie. He had been watching Danny all afternoon and could tell he was wearing down and in pain. "You know what Charlie, we need to get cleaned up so we can go to the parade. We'll have to leave early to get a good spot to see everything."

Danny shot Steve a silent thank you.

Charlie's face fell for a minute and then he ran over to Danny and tugged at his shirt. "Danno, don't forget the present!"

"Oh, yes, the present, we can't forget that," Danny grinned as he tweaked Charlie's nose.

He winked at Steve. "What do you think, Uncle Steve, do we have enough time?"

"Absolutely, I have been waiting all afternoon to see what's in that bag!" Steve grinned.

Steve and Danny sat on the couch. Standing in front of them, Charlie carefully lifted the present out of the bag and handed it to Danny. "Don't rip the paper Danno. Open it VERY carefully," Charlie instructed.

Danny held it up and admired the wrapping as Charlie squirmed in anticipation. Danny smiled. He could see that Charlie could hardly contain his excitement. "Careful it is then. Charlie, why don't you help me with this? You hold it and I will pull the tape off, that way we won't tear the wrapping." As they slowly un-wrapped the paper, Danny saw the glint of silver paint and lifted it gently to get a better look at the small handprint in plaster. It was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.

"It's my hand Danno, look on the back and see what teacher wrote," Charlie said eagerly.

Danny smiled as he turned the plaque over to read the inscription. The first thing he noticed was "To Daddy" written in his son's awkward handwriting. As he read the words silently to himself, he felt a sense of joy and pride. The writing got blurry as he blinked back the tears that threatened to spill out.

Steve coughed slightly to get Danny's attention. "So are you going to keep staring at that thing, or are you going to read it to me?"

Danny grinned as he looked at Steve. "Yes dear, I was getting to it." He cleared his throat. "To Daddy, This is to remind you, when I have grown so tall, that once I was this little, and my hands were just this small. Love, Charlie."

"Look at that Steve, is that beautiful or what?" Danny held the plaque out for Steve to take, his hand trembling slightly.

Steve gently took it from Danny's grasp. He held it up ceremoniously to review and then whistled. "That is sharp looking Charlie, you did an amazing job. Is that really your handprint here?"

Charlie smiled broadly and nodded his head. He held out his hand and placed it carefully in the impression.

"Do you think Daddy will like it, Danno?"

Danny swallowed, trying to steady himself amidst the confusion he felt. He had just been ready to say thank you, it had been right on the tip of his tongue. For once he was grateful he kept his mouth shut. He felt his face flush and for a moment he thought he was going to be sick. He was sure Steve could hear his heart hammering in his chest. Shit, he needed to get himself together. Quickly he grounded himself and forced a smile, not wanting to spoil one second for Charlie, not wanting to wipe the smile off of his son's beautiful face. He looked at Charlie, who was beaming with pride and pulled him close and gave him a big hug. "Of course he will, Tiger. That's an awesome present, in fact, that is the best present ever. I bet he will hang it up right there in his office for everybody to see!"

He reached for the plaque that Steve held in his hands. Their eyes met momentarily, a quick shattered glance before Danny turned away.

Steve wanted to say something; to offer his partner some bit of comfort, but now wasn't the time. His heart aching, he gently placed his hand on Danny's shoulder for support. His best friend's eyes often spoke to him and the deep disappointment behind his smile was presently speaking volumes.

Taking solace in his best friends touch, Danny looked at the small handprint, tracing the tiny lines in Charlie's palm and fingers that were indelibly pressed into the plaster. His son's hand, it was beautiful and perfect. It didn't matter what titles were used, nothing could take that away from him.


	76. Chapter 76

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I hope all of you, American or not, had a happy and blessed Thanksgiving day yesterday. Always find something to be thankful for – because there is always something.

H50 H50 H50

The Williams family had a tradition, a Christmas cookie tradition. Each year all the family would gather and bake – and bake and bake - all kinds of cookies. Sugar cookies cut like stars and angels, Snickerdoodles also known as Bachelor Buttons, Snow Bars which were Danny's personal favorite, the universal favorite chocolate chip and whatever other recipe struck somebody as a good idea to try that year.

When the cookies were baked and cooled, they would be packaged up on plates and covered in red or green plastic wrap, or put in plastic bags with wreaths on them, or packed in boxes to be sent through the mail. Each bundle would be lovingly wrapped and given as a gift to loved ones near and far – friends and family alike.

Danny had loved the tradition and had always made sure they scheduled the event when he was off duty. Rachel had always enjoyed it as well and even the Christmas before she left Danny she was there, laughing, smiling and baking just like every other Williams. And Grace! Danny's little monkey had absolutely loved cookie-baking day. She had been too young to be much help with the cookies but she had tried, until she got bored and the first batch of cookies was cooling on the sideboard. Then she and Eric would snatch a few cookies when they thought nobody was looking and sneak off to enjoy them together, big cousin lovingly watching little cousin while the adults were busy baking.

A little over a week before Danny's first Christmas in Hawaii he had received a package. It was an unremarkable cardboard box addressed to him in his beloved baby brother's impeccable print. On each side, in his mother's recognizable scrawl were the words 'handle with care'. Danny had opened the box thinking that inside there was an early present for Grace – probably a dress that his mother wanted her to have before Christmas or a toy that Matty thought she just had to have. He had been stunned to find two cookie tins, nestled in a bed of crumpled up newspaper, each containing several dozen cookies baked and sent with love. He had gasped at the sight of them, feeling a deep abiding pain at the stark reminder of what he had missed.

He had taken that pain and had driven it down, quashed it, crushed it. Grace was his life, his breath, his reason for living – and his reason for being stuck here on this pineapple infested hell-hole, far away from his deeply loved family and their cherished Christmas cookie baking tradition, with a Neanderthal, Rambo, SuperSEAL of a partner whose main goals in life were to get Danny shot at, beat up or blown up, to drive his car and to drive him crazy. Yes, Grace was the reason he had missed the Williams family Christmas cookie baking day for the first time ever and Grace made it worth it. So, he had taken that pain and conquered it, because he had no other choice.

Giving one tin to Grace, he had taken the other tin of cookies and brought it into the Five-0 office because Williams' cookies were meant to be shared and, besides Grace, Steve, Chin and Kono were as close to a family as Danny had here on this water bound lava rock. Finally, Danny had gone shopping after work for flour, sugar, cinnamon, chocolate chips, baking sheets, cookie cutters and the like so that when Grace came the following weekend they could bake copious cookies and bundle them up and tie them in red and green curly ribbons and share them with Grace's new friends.

So, a new tradition was started, or rather an old tradition was continued in a new far away place. Each year after that, Danny would bring the tin of cookies sent from New Jersey to the office to share but would also bake dozens and dozens of cookies with Grace to give to her friends - and to his.

Their fifth Christmas in Hawaii had brought another change to the tradition. Grace had asked if Melissa could join them in the baking. Danny wasn't sure he wanted to share that tradition with Melissa at that time, but Grace had been insistent and he indulged her. Around six months before their sixth Christmas in Hawaii it became apparent that yet another change was in store; Danny's newly revealed son Charlie would now join their cookie baking tradition.

Even after his injury, Danny vowed that despite everything, the tradition would continue this year. Eric had to work but would join them later and Melissa was still hospitalized and under evaluation so she wouldn't be able to join them at all but he vowed to himself that none of that would stop him. He went online and bought mixing bowls that stuck to the countertop with suction cups and other items that he could use one-handed, and used the home delivery option of the local supermarket to purchase all the ingredients that he didn't ordinarily keep in his cabinets.

Now it was Saturday and the children were due to be dropped off at his house so they could bake. Danny had been alternating between organizing the things they would need and resting his aching body. The relentless headaches, fatigue and pain in his back held no special affection for the Williams family Christmas cookie tradition and therefore offered no mercy to the man who appreciated the tradition so deeply.

The sugar and flour were the last items he needed to arrange. They were on high shelves and to avoid having to reach and stretch Danny pulled over the step stool. Chin had picked it up for him when he had worked to ascertain Danny's needs after the injury and Danny appreciated it immensely. He could reach the shelves without it but using it helped prevent stretching of the wound that could lead to very unwanted bleeding.

Climbing the step stool, Danny took the large canister of sugar off the shelf with his left hand and, stepping down one step, placed it on the counter. He then stepped back up and grabbed the large canister of flour that had been behind the sugar and pulled that towards him. He wasn't quite sure what happened next. Suddenly everything was off and he swayed. Flailing his one good arm to try and regain his balance he sensed the canister slip from his grip. He saw the flour and sugar flying everywhere, heard the clatter as several things crashed and cracked around him.

The world tilted on its axis and he felt himself moving, falling. The walls, the ceiling, the cabinets became a jumbled blur. The room spun in a kaleidoscope of color… a flash of pain reverberated through his back… the ability to draw a proper breath was lost completely…

Danny hit the floor with a resounding thump.


	77. Chapter 77

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Had the special joy of attending one of Billy Joel's Madison Square Garden concerts last night with a dear friend. Absolutely amazing! But, with travel in and out of the city it made for a very short night. This was written already and I simply needed to review it this morning. Not sure I'm awake enough to catch anything but I've run out of time so if you find any glaring errors, feel free to let me know.

H50 H50 H50

Peeling his eyes open, Danny stared at the stark white ceiling above him trying to remember how he got there. Stunned by the fall and with his ears ringing, he lay still trying to breathe in something close to a normal pattern. Lifting his head and struggling to focus, he looked around; the flour and sugar was everywhere mingling with bits of broken glass. His head and back hurt even more than they had moments ago and his left arm was bleeding. He couldn't even wash it due to his useless right arm, he thought with frustrated disgust. Resting his head back on the floor he growled angrily. The Christmas cookie-baking day with his kids was ruined. He had a massive cleanup job to do, one-handed, instead.

First, however, he had to get himself off the floor.

Danny moved to roll to his left to try and push himself up when realization set in - his back was on fire. A nerve pain attack is what had happened. Damn. These attacks had been coming less frequently which was great, but the timing of this one sucked big time. His kids were due here in less than an hour and he was lying in a bed of sugar and flour and glass unable to move enough to even sit up. Sometimes these stinking attacks could last an hour. He couldn't have his kids walk in on this scene.

He had to do something. He had to force himself to make his mind work, force himself to make his body follow along, force himself beyond the pain and burning and nausea of the nerve attack and put his kids first. Moving as quickly as his balking body would allow, he maneuvered his left hand into his pant's pocket and managed to pull out his cell phone, praying it hadn't been broken during his hard landing. His eyes not focusing properly and sweat further blurring his vision, Danny struggled to find the right name.

He most definitely didn't want to call Grace who was number one on his contacts list. Instead he wanted to get help so everything would be fine when Grace and Charlie got there. Second on his list was Steve. He knew Steve was spending the day with Lynn. Steve had been doing so much for him lately; he deserved a break. He wouldn't interrupt that. The third name on the list was the one he was aiming for, if only his vision and trembling fingers would cooperate.

Miles away, Chin was enjoying time with Abby when he heard his phone ring. Seeing that the caller was Danny he answered it with a smile. "Hey Danny, Howzit brah?" Hearing nothing, he tried again. "Danny? Danny?"

It took Danny a minute to make his voice work. "Yeah," he gasped.

"You okay brah?" Chin asked, concerned. Danny definitely didn't sound right.

Struggling against the debilitating pain, it took Danny a minute to identify who was speaking. "Chin?" He huffed out the word between pained breaths.

Something definitely was wrong with his friend. Chin immediately began to move. "Danny, I'll call an ambulance and then come right over."

"No!" Danny answered with a measure of forcefulness. "No, I'm fine."

Chin rolled his eyes. "You don't sound fine."

"Jus' nerve," Danny managed to ground out.

Nerve attack. Chin understood now. Debilitating pain and labored breathing but there was nothing medical personnel could do to help. In time it would clear itself. Chin realized however, that something else must be going on that pushed Danny to call. He normally suffered through them alone. "Danny, are the kids there?"

"Not yet," he forced out between panting breaths.

So, he was worried about the kids arriving. "We're on our way Danny. Just hang on, okay?"

Trembling from the exertion and nerve pain, his hand going numb, Danny dropped the phone before he could reply.

Chin heard the clunk. "Danny? Danny?"

"S'rry," he breathed out from where he lie.

"Hang in there, brah. We'll be there soon." After a carefully hurried drive over, because Chin was always careful, Chin was using the key Danny had given him to let himself and Abby into the house. "Danny?"

Chin headed towards the bedrooms while Abby checked the kitchen. She found him lying face up on the floor soaked in sweat, covered in sugar, flour and glass, and breathing hard. "Chin, he's in here."

As unfortunate as the timing had been, Danny was fortunate enough that this nerve attack was a short one. It was just dying down to a dull roar when Abby walked into the kitchen and called Chin's name. Danny startled at the voice and then let out a moan.

Chin stepped into the kitchen and the scene around him was almost comical. There was flour and sugar everywhere, including all over Danny. If it weren't for the accompanying glass and ceramic, the cuts on Danny's arm and the pained crease of his brow, Chin would have laughed. "You okay?" Chin asked.

"Yeah. Just help me up, huh?"

"You're bleeding," Abby pointed out. She didn't mention the old wounds – from the knife attack or the incident with Melissa.

"Just some scratches." Danny disregarded the blood on his arm and extended his left hand out to Chin, impatient to get to his feet before his kids came in the door. "Come on, help me up."

"Did you hit your head?"

Danny wasn't quite sure if he had or not but if he admitted that lack of knowledge then Chin would call for an ambulance and then call Steve and then well, the day with his kids would be totally lost. "No."

Accepting the answer, Chin moved on. "Your back okay?"

"Damnit Chin, I'm fine." Ignoring the marching band drumming a rhythm in his skull as they marched across his back, Danny pushed with his right leg to roll to his left side in an attempt to get up by himself.

"Okay. Okay," Chin said, blocking his roll and reaching for his hand. "Come on, let's sit you up and see how you feel."

Chin helped Danny maneuver into a seated position leaning against the cabinets. A quick glance assured him that the wound in Danny's back wasn't bleeding, a small favor but welcomed nonetheless.

Danny groaned as his head spun and his stomach threatened to revolt from even that slight change in position. His eyes squeezed shut, he gagged slightly before his stomach mercifully began to settle.

"Looks like you landed pretty hard. You sure you didn't black out?"

"Just had the wind knocked out of me," Danny protested, swallowing thickly.

Not completely convinced, Chin ran a practiced eye over his friend. Brow pinched in pain and soaked in sweat virtually from head to toe, Danny was slowly managing to even out his breathing. In reality, he didn't look much worse for wear than he did after any number of these horrid nerve attacks. Stepping closer and daring to reach around and examine the back of Danny's head he received a disagreeable grumble in response. Not finding anything more worrisome than a small tender spot though, Chin decided that it appeared he had been spared any serious damage from the fall, but he maintained that he'd keep a close eye on him for the next short while just in case.

"How do you feel?" Abby asked when Danny finally seemed to have settled slightly. She couldn't say he looked well, because that was far from the truth, but she understood and respected the importance he placed on making things look as normal as possible by the time his children arrived.

Opening his eyes to a distressed squint, Danny moaned softly. "Shaken, not stirred," he wisecracked, his face bearing a pained smirk.

Chin and Abby grinned. "What happened, brah?" Chin sat down next to Danny on the floor allowing him time to collect himself.

"Sunnuvabeech," Danny growled in reply. "Haven't had one of those freaking attacks in two days and it happens when I'm on a step stool with a couple pounds of flour in my one working hand. I swear this island is trying to kill me."

"I thought it was Steve who was trying to kill you," Abby said, squatting down next to them, still a bit unsure of the whole Danny dynamic but beginning to catch on.

Chin stifled a laugh. He wasn't even going to step into that one.

"You see that Neanderthal around here?" Danny barked with a half laugh. Then he sobered and looked at Chin. "You didn't call him, did you?"

"No brah. You want me to?"

"No, no no. He's spending the day with Lynn. I don't want to screw it up for them." He then realized Abby was with Chin. He must have interfered there. "Crap guys. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Danny," Abby answered.

"I am seriously testing everybody's generosity," Danny sighed, wiping his hand down and his face and unintentionally smearing the mix of sugar and flour and sweat into a bizarre abstract.

"Don't even go there, brah. Ohana, remember?" Chin assured him in his soothing voice. He didn't even let Danny bring it up again. He had taken in the scene beyond the mess. Mixing bowls, mixer, baking sheets… "You were going to bake the cookies with the kids today?"

"Yeah." He wasn't planning a full scale baking session, though. He just didn't have the stamina, much less the agility to manage cookie cutting one-handed.

Chin smiled. "My favorite time of the year." He turned to Abby. "Some of the best cookies I've ever tasted have come out of this kitchen."

"Only some of the best?" Danny asked with a smirk.

Chin smiled. "Yeah, the others came from New Jersey. So what do you need help with?"

"Getting off the floor, for starters."

With a groan, Danny allowed Chin to pull him to his feet, before he was quickly deposited in a chair. A short conversation followed. He tried to protest that they didn't need to bake today, but both Chin and Abby had insisted that the Williams family tradition would not be waylaid if they could help it. Not only did everybody enjoy the cookies, they argued, but it was important to the kids to maintain a routine and traditions. Besides, if Danny cancelled it now, the kids would worry needlessly about him. That argument won Danny over, so while Chin stayed to help Danny, Abby offered to go to the store to replace the flour and sugar that were covering Danny and his kitchen.

"You're a peach, you know that?" Danny asked Abby before she could leave. Rising to his feet, he turned to Chin. "May I?"

"May you what?"

"Take three giant steps, you putz," Danny responded sarcastically, referring to the childhood game. "Never mind," he added before turning back to Abby.

"May I?"

Abby grinned. She wasn't really sure what Danny had in mind either, but she trusted him and could see the glimmer in his eye. It was good to see a bit of "him" peeking through. "Yes you may," she replied.

Danny leaned over, put his left hand behind Abby's neck and gave her a nice, but chaste, kiss right on the lips. "Like I said, you're a peach." Then he stepped back with a wink and nodded towards Chin while he continued to speak to Abby. "What you see in my friend here I don't rightly know but I can see why you make him so happy."

Abby blushed as Chin barked out a playfully offended, "Hey!"

Chin then left Danny in the kitchen while he walked Abby to the door like a true gentleman. The sight that greeted him when he returned to the kitchen startled him. "Danny?"


	78. Chapter 78

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Sounds like some of you got a kick out of the Danny and Abby scene. We'll see more of them next chapter (but, don't worry, I'm not putting them "together", just having fun.) Interesting theories about what Chin saw but nobody had it right.

H50 H50 H50

When Chin left the room to walk Abby to the door Danny took a good look around the kitchen. It was a mess. Grains of flour and sugar were everywhere, even down his shirt if the scratchiness he felt was any clue. But what caught his eye and made his breath catch was the sight of the cookie jar smashed to bits, drops of blood, his blood, on at least one large shard.

Dropping to his knees, he took the large piece in his hand, tears welling up in his eyes as he looked at it. Over a month ago everything for this day had been planned out. Now Melissa was in a psych ward and he had a hole in his back, his useless arm was in a sling and he was covered in sugar and flour. That was just the tip of the screwed up iceberg that had become his life. Why was his life always so messed up?

"Danny?"

Chin's concerned voice startled him. He looked up, a few tears spilling down his cheeks, creating rivulets through the flour.

"You okay, brah?" Chin asked, concerned.

Danny sniffed and wiped his face with his left sleeve, smearing the flour and sugar even further. "I bought this cookie jar for Melissa," he croaked out. "She loves Polar Bears. You know how frigging hard it is to find anything with Polar Bears on this thermodynamically challenged volcanic rock? Dolphins man, and pineapples, those you can find. Frigging pineapples everywhere, on everything. But you want a polar bear? A penguin? Forget about it."

Chin nodded, grabbed a few clean cloths from a drawer and filled a basin with warm soapy water. While he moved, he remained quiet, allowing Danny to speak at his own pace. The fact that Danny was struggling with something way beyond the nerve attack, the flour and sugar shower or even the broken cookie jar was immediately evident by the forlorn look on Danny's face and the uncharacteristic sag of his normally broad and strongly set shoulders. He watched as Danny shifted and, despite still holding the piece in his hand, used his still bleeding left arm to support himself as he moved to sit on the floor and lean up against the cabinets again.

"I found this Polar Bear cookie jar more than a month ago, right before this." Danny continued, pointing to his right arm, bound to his chest in the sling. "Before the PTSD, before she tried to kill herself, before Stan sued me for every freakin' penny I'll ever earn." He threw the piece to the floor, breaking it in two. "Back when life was normal – whatever the hell that means."

By this time, Chin was sitting next to him, now back to where they had been before Abby left. Using the soapy water, Chin silently began to wash the flour, sugar and blood from Danny's left arm, allowing his friend the opportunity to let it all out. Danny had battled so hard since the knife attack to remain positive, to remain hopeful but there had been a couple times that Chin knew of that Danny had simply lost it – once with Steve and once with Kono. Now, it seemed, maybe it was his turn. He felt strangely honored as he sat silently and simply listened. Danny sniffed again and went on. "I was so excited, you know? I was going to fill it with cookies and surprise her with it for Christmas. She would have loved it."

Danny flinched instinctively when Chin scrubbed over the deepest of the cuts. "Sorry," Chin said. "You've got flour and sugar in the cuts. That's gotta hurt."

Danny gave a wry chuckle and pointed to the wound on his chest, silently implying the larger, still infected one on his back as well. "Seriously?"

Chin nodded his head in understanding. Pain was relative. "This one won't stop bleeding. Probably could use a couple stitches."

Danny shook his head. "Forget about it. The kids are coming. It'll stop bleeding eventually and one more freaking scar won't matter."

Chin nodded again. "I thought you'd say that. Wait here, okay?" He didn't want to leave Danny when he was so obviously careworn but he knew the kids were coming and that they were his friend's top priority, so he quickly rose to his feet and went to gather antibiotic ointment and bandages.

Danny let out a heavy sigh. Steve and Chin had been spending so much time at his house helping him; they knew where everything was by now. When Chin returned he sat down next to Danny again and began patching up the two cuts.

Danny thunked his head back against the cabinet. "I don't know what to do, Chin."

"You change your shirt, while I clean up here. And shake that stuff out of your hair. It makes you look gray." He smiled softly.

"Then I look as old as I feel," Danny replied with a smirk, followed by a sigh. "I'm not talking about this, Chin." He began to wave his arm to indicate the room but Chin grabbed it back to finish working on it. "I don't know what to do about Melissa."

Chin wasn't exactly sure what Danny meant. He knew that Danny still hadn't seen Melissa since her suicide attempt. In fact, had only seen her that one time when he saved her life in the whole time since he was released from the hospital. At least she had allowed the doctor to give Danny information on her condition. According to the doctor she was coming along nicely and the doctor thought she could go home in a couple weeks. She had finally asked Danny if he could come and visit her, so at last he was going to see her - on Christmas. Since he would have the kids on Christmas Eve and not Christmas Day it worked for him. "What do you mean?"

"Things have felt different with her for a while now."

"She has PTSD, Danny. Things will be different." Chin finished taping some gauze in place.

Danny sighed. "Even before that."

"Oh." That's something Danny had never mentioned before.

"I mean, things were good, alright. We never fought. She's sweet, fun, sexy."

"But?" Having risen from the floor, Chin extended his hand down to help Danny up.

"But…" On his feet, Danny took a moment to regain his equilibrium, then sighed and shook his head, changing course. "I was talking with Amy a couple weeks ago."

"Meka's widow?"

Widow. Danny sighed softly, unreasonable guilt still niggled at him over that. "Yeah. She was telling me how she would never want Meka to worry about her worrying. How she would listen to him and be there for him when he had a bad day. Melissa…" he shrugged, painfully. "She isn't like that." 

Chin nodded in understanding as he grabbed the broom and began clearing the sugar and flour from the floor. "Malia was my strength. If I had a bad day, just coming home and into her arms was all I needed."

Danny had been there enough for Chin through his grieving process that they were comfortable talking about Malia, especially now that Chin had found some happiness again with Abby. "She ever try and talk you into quitting? Doing something easier? Safer?" One-handed, Danny pulled the trashcan over and began brushing the mess off the counter and into the bin while being mindful of the broken glass and ceramic.

"No. Never. Melissa did?"

"Sometimes, yeah. So, I'd stop talking about the job."

"You need to talk in a relationship, brah."

"Things were good, though."

"You need more than sweet, fun and sexy for a serious relationship." Chin stopped his sweeping and looked at his friend. "Danny?"

Halting his work of cleaning the counter, Danny turned toward Chin. "Yeah?"

Taking a deep breath, Chin then ventured into slightly uncertain territory, but they were friends so he risked it. "Do you love her?"

Danny's answer was immediate, accompanied by an uncertain shake of his head. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I don't know! She says 'I love you' all the time." Danny's excited tone and waving left hand reflected the passion of his reply.

"And you?"

"Never said it to her." Danny responded in a much more subdued tone as he turned back to the counter, using his one working hand to keep brushing at the stubborn granules.

"Never?"

Danny stopped working again, but remained staring at the counter, leaning against it for support. "Never. It's not like my track record with women is very good. Rachel, Gabby… " His voice trailed off. Chin gave him time. Two women had told him they loved him and then ended up leaving Danny's heart bruised and battered. Now Melissa was doing the same. "I say 'I love you' and they walk away. Maybe I should become a monk." He turned to look at Chin now. "You don't need two arms to be a monk, do you?"

"Now that's an interesting career choice." Chin laughed, he really enjoyed how Danny's mind worked sometimes, but then got back on track. "How long have you been dating her, brah?"

"Three years."

"Three years." Chin nodded, mulling this over in his head while he used the dustpan and brush. "So, she says it and you don't?" Obviously, Danny took the words 'I love you' very seriously.

"Yeah." Danny sighed. "She called me out on it a while back."

"You're kidding me. What did you tell her?"

"Don't say it if you don't mean it."

"That's what you said?" Stopping his work and staring, Chin was incredulous.

"That's what I said and that's what I meant," Danny defended himself.

Chin raised one astonished eyebrow. Even though he was well used to it by now, sometimes Danny's straightforwardness still surprised him. "Wow. That must have gone over well. So, what happened?"

Danny laughed half-heartedly. "You won't believe this. She was reaming me a new one, threatening to leave, when my phone rang. We had a case and I had to go, but when I finally got home she was still here."

"And?"

"And we never talked about it again." Danny turned back to brushing off the counter.

"That's not good, brah."

Danny glanced up at Chin now. "I know that, but things were good. We never fought. She was sweet..."

"… Fun and sexy," Chin finished for him. "Yeah, you said that already, brah."

They were quiet for a few minutes, continuing the cleanup before Danny spoke again. "Some people say they're just three little words, but trust me, Chin, they're a helluva lot more than that. More like kryptonite."

"Kryptonite?" Chin was trying to follow Danny's logic.

"Yeah, three little words that will change your life forever. You say them and then, bam! Everything's screwed up." At least that's the way it worked in Danny's life. "Best not to say them at all."

Danny's pain was palpable. He had been hurt, and hurt bad, by Rachel - Gabby too in a different way. He had a big heart and he was immensely loyal, that much was obvious to anybody who knew Danny. Problem was, those strengths could be used against him. Yeah, Chin thought, his kryptonite - but not with everybody. "One thing, though," Chin said. "You're not afraid to say 'I love you', just not to her."

"Rachel is history, buddy. Things are different."

"I don't mean Rachel. I know that boat sailed a long time ago. Think about it brah, you're not afraid to say 'I love you.' I've heard you say it. The whole team has heard you say it."

"You losing your mind? I have never told Melissa 'I love you.'"

"Not Melissa. Steve."

"Oh, stop with the marriage stuff already!" Danny growled, tossing the sponge angrily into the sink.

One hand holding the broom, Chin held the other up in surrender. "I'm not doing that stuff Danny. I understand your friendship with Steve. But the bottom line here is that you're not afraid to say it. You're not afraid to let people in and get attached. Again, I'm not doing the marriage stuff but I don't know many people more attached than you and Steve. I've heard you and Steve say 'I love you' many times, and you said it to me last week. You'd probably say it to Kono…"

"In a heartbeat. I draw the line at Lou though, babe. So don't even." Danny glanced at him and smirked.

"Okay, okay. I'm not going there." Chin chuckled while holding his hand up again. "Look, I think the question you need to ask yourself is why you can use those three little words with us and not with Melissa." The question made a ton of sense. Chin at his Zen finest.

Turning, Danny stared at Chin silently for a few moments, neither moving to work. "Because I don't love her," he finally admitted quietly, leaning against the counter with a crestfallen sigh.

"Danny, don't just say this for my sake," Chin warned.

"I'm not." Danny blew out a strong puff of air. "I guess I didn't want to admit it before. I care about her - a lot, I really do, but I don't love her. She's fun to be with and really good for my ego, but something's missing, man, something important."

Chin nodded. He knew how tough an admission that had to be after spending three years with her.

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

"What can I do about it? "

"Tell her the truth?"

"Tell her the truth? Break up with her? Now? Seriously? That's what Steve says I should do, but his mammal-to-mammal skills are extremely deficient. I mean she's in the hospital, Chin."

"That doesn't mean you have to suffer through a relationship that's not there."

"All of you were all bent out of shape about how she dared to walk out while I was in the hospital."

"I never said…"

"No, you didn't say it but can you look me in the eye right now and deny that's what you were thinking?" He looked at Chin who remained silent. "Didn't think so. Kono has hinted at it. Steve, he pretty much said it outright." Danny thought back to the day Steve brought him home and the words he had spoken – 'She dumped you in the hospital?' 'She should stand beside you.' Steve had shared even more since then but the meaning was always the same.

"Still, you have to do what's best for you, brah." Problem was, Chin thought, Danny was very good at not putting himself first; it was part of what made him an amazing father to Grace and Charlie, an amazing teammate, an amazing cop. He was loyal to a fault. He couldn't turn his back on someone any more than he could stop himself from breathing. So Danny's next words didn't surprise Chin at all.

"Do what's best for me? Is that really the right thing to do? Because it doesn't feel right. Nothing feels right. Melissa's in a psych ward and suddenly it's okay to walk out on her? If she was physically sick or injured everybody would say I was an ass for leaving her."

Chin could see the Catch 22. "So, what are you going to do? You just admitted you don't love her." Sweeping accomplished, he set the broom aside and grabbed the dustpan and brush.

"I don't know. No clue. No frigging clue. None whatsoever." He looked at Chin expectantly.

"I wish I had answers, Danny." Danny could do what was best for him and break up with Melissa right now or he could do what seemed best for Melissa and stay by her side lending her care and support for as long as she needed. If he broke up with her, he would be wracked with guilt, especially if she seemed to take a downward turn after it happened. If he stayed with her, he would be living a lie now that he was able to admit that while he cared for her, he wasn't in love with her. Live with guilt or live a lie. Either way he would be miserable. A helluva choice.

Just then there was a knock at the front door, putting a necessary end to their conversation. Figuring it was Abby, because the kids would just walk in, Chin headed out of the kitchen and then stopped in the doorway and turned around when Danny spoke.

"I can't walk out on her while she's struggling like this." It was a statement. A final resolution. "Thanks for your help."

Chin nodded. Danny's decision didn't surprise him. "Anytime brah. I wish I could do more, though."

Danny nodded. Chin needn't feel bad. In the end, this whole messed up thing with Melissa was Danny's problem. In fact, the whole messed up thing with his whole life was Danny's problem. In the midst of it all though, he was thankful for his ohana who tried to help. "Love ya babe."


	79. Chapter 79

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

H50 H50 H50

The mess having been cleaned up while Danny and Chin conversed, the new bags of flour and sugar were now placed on the counter and Danny thanked Abby again, albeit without a kiss this time. He fidgeted as the remnants that had slipped down his shirt scratched his skin, reminding him that his conversation with Chin had distracted him from getting changed and cleaned up himself. He checked the wall clock. "Crap. I need to change and the kids are due any minute." He headed hurriedly for the door.

"I'll help you," Chin called after him. It was a slow enough process with help. Without the extra set of hands it took Danny an excruciatingly long time to dress himself and even then he couldn't do everything, like roll up his left shirtsleeve. "Just let me put this stuff away," he said, referring to the cleaning supplies.

"Thanks," Danny tossed over his shoulder as he hurried as fast as he could to his room.

Moments later a car pulled into the driveway as Rachel's driver dropped the children off. Danny had always picked up and dropped off his children himself but since he was not allowed to drive he had reluctantly agreed to relying on Rachel's driver most of the time rather than imposing even more on his friends. As Grace retrieved her bag from the trunk of the car, exuberant young Charlie ran to the door, twisted the knob and, finding it unlocked, hustled in with a shout. "Danno!"

Abby was standing in the kitchen doorway and Charlie stopped right in his tracks when he saw her. He had never seen her before and the sight of this stranger in Danno's home truly startled him and he let out a pitiful sob.

Chin, who was partway down the hall to Danny's room, turned when he heard the cry. "Hey, Charlie," Chin said as he moved quickly to the little boy. "What's the matter?"

Charlie ran to him, keeping a wary eye on the intruder. One arm wrapped around Chin's legs, the other pointed at Abby.

"That's my friend Abby," Chin told him as he squatted down to look him in the eye. "She helped us build your swing set out back." Chin thought that might help ease his tension but Charlie took another look at Abby and then wrapped his little arms tightly around Chin's neck. Smiling tenderly, Chin stood up, lifting the boy into his arms.

Grace stepped through the front door at that moment, tossing her school bag to the floor with teenage nonchalance. She quickly noted Charlie in Chin's arms and the stranger standing by the kitchen. "Hi Uncle Chin." Her eyes went quickly back to Chin in silent query.

"Hi Grace," Chin said to her. "This is my friend Abby."

Grace smiled. "Hi Abby. Danno has mentioned you."

"All good I hope," Abby replied.

"He says you make Uncle Chin smile a lot." Grace, like her father, could get straight to the point.

"I want Danno," Charlie said from his perch on Chin's hip.

"Your Danno's getting changed Charlie," Chin told him, using Danny's other nickname to help keep Charlie from getting confused. "Why don't you stay here with Abby and Grace and I'll go help him?"

Still uneasy after being so startled, Charlie clung tighter around Chin's neck. This was the first time Chin had ever held the boy but Charlie was still shaken and was not in the mood to budge. Knowing that Danny did not want the children to have to see the still open wound on his back, Chin knew he couldn't just take the little guy with him.

After a failed attempt to get Charlie to sit with Grace, it was decided that Abby should go and see if Danny needed help.

"Danny?" she called, knocking on his door. "Chin's a bit tied up so I thought maybe I could help you."

"Come on in," Danny called back. "I heard the kids. Is everything alright?"

Abby opened the door and stepped into the room. She could see that Danny had washed his face and brushed the flour and sugar off his head and he was now combing his hair back into place. "Charlie was a bit startled to see me and not you when he came in."

"I should go and…" Danny began.

"No need. He's fine with Chin. Let's get you cleaned up so you can start baking."

Removing Danny's arm from the sling was an easy task for Abby and then Danny quickly unfastened the buttons of his shirt. The tough part came next. Danny's broad shoulders and thick biceps made slipping out of a shirt a time consuming process, time they didn't have with the children eagerly awaiting their father and the promised cookie baking tradition.

Abby had entered the room with good intentions to help but as the sides of his shirt slipped open and his broad, tanned chest appeared she stalled in her tracks. Visions of the shirtless actor from movie night filled her head followed quickly by the images of shirtless Danny that Eric had so eagerly provided. Dreamily she imagined her hand skimming across the taut chest muscles, smoothing through the hair, down the hard muscles of his arm….

"If you could just pull on the sleeve." Oblivious to Abby's current mental state, Danny twisted his left arm trying to free the appendage from the material.

Abby remained motionless.

Mistaking her lack of movement as nervousness, Danny cracked a reassuring smile. "Hey, we already kissed," he joked, referring to the chaste kiss he gave her for her earlier kindness. "This is nothing."

Realizing Danny was speaking to her, Abby shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Hmm?"

"I said we already kissed. This is nothing. All you need to do is give me a hand with the sleeve. I'm not asking for a sponge bath or anything." Danny joked as he continued to try and wriggle his way out of the shirt, not realizing the effect his words would have on her.

"We?" A whole new slew of images rushed through Abby's head. Not very accustomed to Danny's playful use of words, she was caught off guard by his forthright statement. "Sponge bath?" Even as her mind conjured up the image of her kissing the sexy actor and she could almost, but not quite, feel the heat of his lips on hers, she tried to keep the thoughts at bay as she grabbed a hold of the end of Danny's sleeve and tugged hard.

Abby tugged as Danny pulled and twisted and, combined with the after-effects of his earlier fall the resulting jarring of his back rocked him nearly off his feet. He grunted and swayed and Abby reached to steady him, one hand grabbing his left bicep and the other splayed across his chest. His shirt now only half on, her hands were touching bare skin, the same bare skin she had been dreaming about only moments before. She simply stared as Danny's shirt fell to the floor before he settled unsteadily onto the bed behind him.

"Hey, what's with the face?" he asked when the pain had settled.

"I'm not… It's not…" She wasn't sure what to say as her eyes then came to rest on the scar on his chest. "Does it hurt?" she asked absentmindedly as she forced her eyes back up to his.

Danny couldn't quite put a finger on her odd behavior as the pain eased a bit in his back. "This?" he asked pointing to the scar she seemed to have been looking at. "Some. My back still hurts like a bitch, though." His head clearing, the thought came to him. The movie, the actor, the new word Kono had used. "I was well and truly whumped."

Finally shaking herself out of the fog she was in, Abby had the good sense to be embarrassed and her cheeks instantly flushed a bright red when she realized where her mind had been. It had only been a short minute when all was said and done, but she was sure that Danny could see right through her at the moment. Her mouth open, she didn't utter a sound.

Danny quirked a smile and then began to laugh at the very thought that Kono and Abby had been drooling over his movie actor doppelganger. With all the crap that had been going on in his life and after the intense and emotionally draining conversation he just had with Chin, it felt good to have something to laugh at despite the way it aggravated the pain in his back.

Momentarily aghast at the laughter, Abby soon got caught up in the sound of it, caught up in the mirthful sparkle in Danny's blue eyes, and she joined in.

"Come on," Danny finally said, quieting down. "Let's get done here before Chin sends in the Marines to find us."

HHHHHH

A/N Please don't hate me for that. Just having a little fun. Please remember, that this is set a year ago, back when Abby was very new to the team and her relationship with Chin was only one of a beginning attraction.


	80. Chapter 80

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N So many delightful reviews and not enough time to reply to each one personally. Sorry, I decided that Christmas and posting another chapter were higher priority than individual replies. Thank you wonderful readers. You're the best. I'm so happy that you appreciated the subtleties of the facetious scene with Danny and Abby. As many of you said, what woman could resist shirtless Danny? To anyone who found the chapter inappropriate, I'm sorry you feel that way. This is all just for my writing enjoyment and as such was simply meant as playful fun. I think my work stands for itself in terms of taking injuries and caretaking seriously.

A/N I would like to extend my warmest wishes to each and every one of my readers for a very blessed Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Omisoka, Lohri, Pancha Ganapati, Boxing Day, or whatever else you celebrate and, of course, a very happy, healthy and blessed 2017 as well. Mele Kalikimaka.

H50 H50 H50

When Danny and Abby stepped into the living room after accomplishing their task, Charlie was on the floor playing with his toy cars and Chin was right beside him. Grace was on the sofa, engrossed in a book. Chin looked up first and Charlie quickly followed suit. "Danno!" Hopping to his feet, he ran to hug his father's legs, talking a mile a minute. "Unca Chin is playing cars with me. Five-0 is chasing the bad guys, and those morons…" 

"Charlie!" Danny admonished.

"Oops, the bad guys think they can get away but they won't. We're gunna catch 'em, right Unca Chin?" He turned and looked at his new favorite uncle.

"Shut up already," Grace muttered from the sofa.

"Grace," Danny admonished and she put her face back into her book, silently rolling her eyes behind the cover of its pages. Little brothers were so annoying.

"I missed you Danno," Charlie continued on, oblivious to anything but his own ramblings. "I didn't know where you were. Are we gunna bake cookies now? Can Unca Chin help? I…"

"Tiger. Tiger!" Danny finally got his son's attention. "Hello."

"Oh, hi Danno." Charlie greeted before he tugged on his father's hand and went right back to his ramblings. "I like Unca Chin. Can he stay and bake cookies with us?" He turned to Chin now. "Wanna bake cookies with us? Danno will show you how. Grace says his cookies are the best. I like cookies. Do you like cookies?"

"Slow down Tiger," Danny said as Chin laughed.

"Like father, like son," Chin muttered, amused.

Faking being aggrieved, Danny flashed a look, causing his friend to grin.

Grace piped up from the sofa, looking first at Chin and then at Abby. The girl's words belied her efforts to appear to be completely ignoring her pesky little brother. "Please stay. Back in Jersey everybody comes to bake. It's so much fun."

"We don't want to intrude," Chin said.

Realizing quickly what a good idea it was, along with being unable to deny such a reasonable request form his children, Danny added his voice to the invitation. "Intrude? You won't be intruding Chin. It's a family tradition and we're ohana right? So you should be here." He turned to Abby now and they exchanged an amused glance after their encounter in the bedroom. "What do you say Abby? You in?"

Once Chin and Abby agreed to stay, Charlie spoke up again. "Can Unca Steve come too?" He was bouncing up and down now as he thought of his other favorite uncle. "Unca Steve is fun."

That's because he's a crazy Neanderthal Rambo Super SEAL animal who pretends he's going to throw you on the roof, Danny thought but wisely left the words unspoken.

"Auntie Kono, too," Grace offered. "She's ohana."

"Let's ask everybody," Danny decided, "but then we have to get started or we'll never get done."

They divided up the phone calls. The kids didn't know about Danny's nerve attack and subsequent fall and other than the two cuts on his arm there was no resulting damage so none of that was mentioned in any of the calls. Grace and Charlie eagerly called their Uncle Steve and he and Lynn were delighted to come. Abby called Kono and she and Adam were soon on their way over as well. Danny and Chin gave calls to Lou, Max, Jerry and Kamekona but none of them were available.

"You okay? What happened?" Steve asked Danny shortly after he arrived, tugging up the end of Danny's shirtsleeve to peek at the bandage underneath.

Danny jerked his arm away, flinching at the resultant flare of pain in his back while also glancing quickly to make sure the kids didn't see. "You my nurse now? You'd look amazing in white pantyhose."

"Oh, you think so?" Steve snarked back before putting more heat into his voice. Turning, he planted his body between Danny and the children's line of sight. "Answer the question."

"I'm fine. Just a little cut."

"It's bleeding."

"I'll live."

"It could get infected."

Danny gave Steve a thoroughly incredulous look. "Seriously? I'm taking three different antibiotics right now. I think I have that possibility covered. Besides, Chin cleaned it."

"Chin?"

"Yeah, Chin. You know, Asian guy with the Irish last name. Drives a red mustang, plays the trumpet, real good at the tech stuff. Any of this sounding familiar?"

Steve fought back a smirk at Danny's very creative yet diversionary description, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of letting it show. "You called Chin? Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I knew you'd go all control freak, overbearing, mother hen," Danny answered, instead of telling him that he didn't want to intrude on his time with Lynn.

"I would not…" Upon Danny's knowing look, Steve changed course and offered a reason for his concern. "You're my partner."

Danny smiled. He could accept that title again and the responsibility that came with it.

"Did you call Mindy?" Steve then asked.

"No."

"How could you forget her?"

"I didn't…"

"I'll call," Steve offered eagerly.

"You'll call? You have her number?" Danny was unable to stifle the touch of curious jealousy in his tone.

"She's one of our coroners, Danno," Steve replied with a knowing smirk. "Of course I have her number." He pulled his phone out.

"No." Danny said sharply, reaching for the phone in Steve's hand.

"She's ohana, partner. We have to invite her."

"This is my house and I invite who I want," Danny replied with a quiet intensity, "and I don't want to invite Mindy."

"The kids like her," Steve protested, phone still in hand.

"Just forget it, Steven."

"But she's …"

Having caught on to what was happening, Chin stepped in, thinking about the conversation he had just had with Danny about Melissa. "Let it go, Steve."

Steve wouldn't back off just yet. "… but I know..."

"You don't know anything so just put the phone away and try not to spoil the day for my kids, okay?" Danny pleaded quietly.

Steve started again. "I like her."

That really got Danny's hackles up. "Why don't you just focus on Lynn and forget about Mindy," Danny hissed, poking his finger in Steve's chest, eyes hard and unrelenting.

"Is this you feeling like you're cheating on Melissa again?"

"Let it go, Steve," Chin warned again while pressing one hand against Danny's chest to keep him back before the irate, surging blond could reply.

With Chin between them, the partners locked eyes. Sometimes, the pair didn't need words to communicate. In fact, sometimes the pair communicated more effectively in silence than when they allowed their words to get away from them. This was most certainly one of those times.

Danny's expressive eyes pleaded softly for trust and understanding.

Steve offered acceptance and agreement with his own eyes.

Finally yielding, Steve put the phone back in his pocket followed by a thankful nod from Danny before both turned and walked away, Chin left standing there wondering what just happened.

H50 H50 H50

The baking was in full swing and there were a few batches of cookies already cooling in the other room by the time Eric came home. Grace and their ohana were having a wonderful time measuring and mixing and scooping and dropping and baking and powdering and sprinkling. Christmas music was piping through the speakers and each person sang along with his or her favorites, with varying degrees of ardor and zeal.

Eric was surprised but pleased at the presence of the friends. After greeting each of them individually, he stepped up to his uncle who was seated at the table rolling the Snow Bars in the powdered sugar with Charlie who looked as if he was wearing as much sugar as the cookies.

"How ya feeling? You look beat," the younger man asked the older one.

"Not a bundle of energy these days," Danny lamented in reply.

Eric nodded. His uncle was tired, but not overly so; he was sitting down, pacing himself. He looked around the kitchen abuzz with activity, music and laughter. "Just like home, huh, Uncle D?"

"Yeah," Danny agreed with a big smile, eyes alight with the joy of the moment.

"Are we done yet?" Charlie whined, standing on his chair to see if anybody was going to bring him more work to do. The fun had already passed for the boy.

"Sit down, Tiger," Danny said tiredly, wrapping his arm around him so he didn't fall.

"Hey Charlie." Aware of his uncle's fatigue and certain of his cousin's need to move, Eric stepped over to his little cousin. "I need to get changed so I don't get sugar all over my good clothes. You wanna come with me?"

The over-active four year old didn't have to be asked twice. He was done with this sitting-in-a-chair stuff. He was out of his seat and tugging on his beloved big cousin's hand in a flash. Danny smiled. Eric was a goof but he knew his nephew would keep an eye on Charlie now as he used to do with Grace when she had had enough of the baking routine. He would grab a handful of cooling cookies and they'd go somewhere quiet and out of the way and eat them. Charlie would think that they were being sneaky and that nobody would know. He'd think it was their little secret, just as Grace had years ago.

Danny looked over at Grace and caught her knowing smile as she watched Eric and Charlie slip out the door. She came over, stood behind her dad's chair and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek as he often did to her.

"You know Eric and Charlie are going to swipe some cookies," he told her. "Then go hide somewhere and eat them."

Grace giggled, realizing that she had never fooled her dad when she and Eric would do the very same thing. "What makes you think that?"

Danny laughed. "I'm a detective, remember?" He nodded his head in the direction the boys had gone. "Go join them if you want to."

"It's okay. Let it be their thing now. I'm glad they all came," she said, indicating the friends in the kitchen with them. "This is so much fun. Can we do this again next year?"

"I'd like that," Danny agreed with a nod. "I'd like that a lot."

"You're the best dad ever." Grace kissed him again and went back to work.

Danny leaned wearily back in his chair and watched the activity around him. All these people packed in his kitchen baking cookies. Back in Jersey, the oven blazing away all day would make the kitchen comfortably warm as it balanced the frigid temperatures outside. Here, the air conditioning was working overtime to try and keep the house comfortably cool as the sun blazed down from above. Air conditioning in December. Pineapple infested hell-hole, Danny thought with an inner laugh.

As if he had read his mind, Steve looked over at him and winked with perhaps the goofiest of all the goofy grins that Danny had ever seen spread across his face. Who knew that SuperSEAL was a closet Betty Crocker? Actually, they all were, Danny mused.

"Hey Danny, you said you'd show us how to roll out the dough for the cut out cookies. You up to it brah?" Kono asked, as if to prove his point.

"Or do you plan to sit there all day?" Chin teased.

"Demanding bunch, aren't you?" Danny retorted. He knew that this was their way of making sure he was okay. If he was too tired or sore to carry on, nobody would blame him or think poorly of him; they would just tease him about being lazy or something. They were ohana, after all.

Tired and aching, but not too much, Danny adjusted his arm in the sling and rose slowly from his chair. He took a look around – Grace, Steve, Chin, Kono. He could hear Eric and Charlie in the other room. He found himself wishing he had invited Mindy; she would have fit in perfectly. He then thought of Melissa and shook her from his head. Melissa didn't belong here. After his talk with Chin he knew that now. These people weren't family but he loved them just as much. Ohana.

Steve and Chin somehow started flicking flour at each other and Danny couldn't stop himself from laughing, remembering similar flour battles between himself and Matty. Eric was wrong, he thought. This is not just like home.

This is home.


	81. Chapter 81

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Squeezing this in, just in time. Have a happy, healthy and truly and blessed 2017.

A/N Well, at Christmas 2015 I came up with the Christmas pageant and party story ideas that follow. Trust me when I say that I had no idea that it would be after Christmas 2016 by the time I got to it in the story. #writestoomuch

H50 H50 H50

"Unca Steve!" Charlie shouted when he saw the familiar man, dressed in a dark brown suit and maroon tie, walk up the path to the door. Fully dressed and eager to go but forced to wait while Danny and Grace finished getting themselves ready, the preschooler had been standing on the living room love seat watching out the window. The merrily blinking lights that adorned many a neighbor's house lit the street in a beautiful array of colors. Across the street stood a collection of lawn decorations complete with elves, reindeer and, much to Danny's chagrin, Santa with a surfboard.

Medical restrictions had dictated that Danny not attempt any of the physical activity that fully decorating his own house would require. Foregoing the abundant collection of beautiful decorations waiting expectantly in his small attic the last 11 months, Danny had ordered online a very small, pre-lit Christmas tree, which presently sat atop a table and cast a very slight blinking glow to the living room. It wasn't much. Thus, his young son cast his attention outside instead.

The door opened and the little dynamo shouted again, "Unca Steve!" as he launched himself over the back of the sofa and directly at his beloved uncle.

Quick reflexes came in handy as Steve caught the leaping lad mid-air. "Hey, easy there, Tiger," he said as he hugged the boy to him, heart pounding from the instant adrenaline rush.

Charlie hugged Steve around the neck as he sat on his hip. "Come on, let's play." Charlie bucked his body to indicate he wanted to stand and he was settled easily to the floor. He grabbed Steve's hand and tugged. "Come on."

"Whoa, hold on there," Steve told him.

"I wanna play, Unca Steve," Charlie told him, his brown eyes as expressive as his father's blue ones.

"First, we need to talk, Charlie."

Charlie huffed a sigh. "Okay."

Steve picked Charlie up under his arm, the boy's legs sticking out behind Steve's back while his arms and head were around the front, causing him to giggle, and carried him around the sofa where he sat the boy down on his lap. "Charlie, the way you jumped on me when I came in was very dangerous."

"You caughted me," Charlie whined in defense.

Steve smiled. "Yes, I caught you, but if I hadn't then you could have gotten hurt."

Charlie's face twisted into a pout. "I'm sorry."

"I know Charlie. I just don't want you to get hurt, okay?"

"Okay." Charlie's face remained locked in the pout for a moment as he thought about something. "But, you caughted me the other time."

"That's right. But I was prepared for that."

Charlie quirked a confused expression at Steve.

Steve grinned, the boy's face so reminiscent of Danny's. "It's okay when I know you will jump so I'm ready to catch you."

Charlie nodded before his thoughts moved along as a young boy's thoughts usually did. "Danno can't play anymore," he whispered sadly.

Steve knew that Danny still tried to play with the little boy and still gave him his full attention, but he knew what Charlie meant. Danny's injury severely limited his level of activity and therefore changed the way he interacted with his very active preschooler. He hugged Charlie close. "I know." Steve understood; he missed Danny's very active presence every day as well.

"Daddy doesn't like to play games and stuff. He likes doing puzzles."

For a moment, Steve thought he was still talking about Danny but then realized he meant Stan. "You don't like puzzles?" He was enjoying this insight into his partner's son.

"Not all the time." Charlie said dramatically as he shifted to move off of Steve's lap, ready to move on to new subjects. "Look at me, Unca Steve. Guess who I am." He spread his arms out and looked down at the brown sandals, brown shorts, tan top and white wool vest he wore.

Steve knew exactly who he was dressed to be. At Grace's request, Danny had agreed to allow Grace to participate in the church Christmas pageant. To her delight, she was chosen to portray Mary. When they discussed the idea of having a drummer boy, Grace had volunteered her little brother. So, for the past few weeks, Danny had either walked the children to the church a few blocks from his house or arranged rides for them. Now it was Christmas Eve and they would perform the pageant before the early Christmas Eve mass. All the ohana would then share a Christmas Eve dinner at Danny's house. "Well, I would say you look like a drummer boy but I don't see a drum."

Charlie beamed. "It's over there." Charlie pointed and then hurried over to lift it off of the dining room table. "Danno taught me how to play it. Sister Nancy and Father Brendan said I do it real good. Wanna hear?" By this time he was back by Steve's side with the drum hanging around his neck by a strap.

"Of course I want to hear." Steve then listened in impressed silence as Charlie rapped out a steady staccato rhythm on the small drum. "Wow, Danno taught you well. Do you practice a lot?"

"All the time," Danny answered for him from the doorway as he stepped into the room. "I think we have the next Phil Collins here." Wearing a gray suit and white shirt, he still needed a little help before he was ready to go. He approached his best friend with a peaceful, solemn greeting. "Merry Christmas, Steve."

Steve rose from the sofa and stepped towards his best friend, pulling him into a brotherly hug. "Merry Christmas, Danno." They pulled back and looked at each other for a moment, each realizing that Danny almost never made it to this Christmas. Steve swallowed the lump in his throat. This season was often a time for nostalgia – but it didn't mean they had to get all gushy. He reached for the red and green striped tie that Grace had given her father last year, which was dangling around Danny's neck. "Come here." While Charlie marched around the room drumming his song, Steve made short work of tying the tie and then helping Danny into the sling, fastening it behind his back. "Now the shoes."

"Don't need you to tie the shoes."

Steve looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"Don't give me that face," Danny said.

"Come on, let me tie your shoes, Danny. We need to go."

"I told you. You don't need to do it." Danny grinned and Steve knew he had something up his sleeve.

"You're not going to do it yourself." It was a strictly stated mandate. The wounded muscles and tendons and nerves in Danny's back had been horribly decimated as the vicious plunge of the knife tore through his body from back to chest. Bending and reaching to the floor like that was nearly impossible and extremely painful and most certainly restricted by his attentive surgeon.

"Watch this." Offering no verbal reply to the blatant demand, he winked at Steve and then turned and looked towards his son. "Hey Tiger. Guess what shoes I'm wearing?"

Charlie stopped drumming. "The black shiny ones?" At Danny's affirming nod, the boy put the drum on the table, hurried over and knelt down by Danny's feet where he was now sitting on the sofa next to Steve. With his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, Charlie grabbed up both ends of the shoelace and set to work on first one shoe and then the other.

Perched on the end of the sofa and leaning over slightly, Steve watched for signs that he would need some guidance but none was needed. "That's it Tiger, now pull the ends down tight," he heard his partner tell the boy, unnecessarily.

Job accomplished, father and son looked at Steve, matching beaming faces smiling in delight. Steve couldn't help the smile that spread across his face in return. "Danno teach you that?"

"Yep," Charlie replied. "Wait til I show Mommy and Daddy. They're gunna be so suppwised, right Unca Steve?"

Steve thought about how Charlie had referred to Stan as 'Daddy' just minutes earlier and then his thoughts went back to the moment not even two weeks earlier when Charlie had excitedly shown Danny a special hand made gift, then asked him if he thought 'Daddy' would like it. It had been painful for Steve to witness but he suddenly realized that this was Danny's continuing reality now. While Charlie loved Danny and had been told that Danny was his father, another man remained his 'Daddy'. A nudge from Danny pulled him away from the haunting memory and brought him back to the current moment. Smiling broadly and with a nod of his head, he spoke. "You bet they'll be surprised and proud, too. I bet you practiced that as much as you practiced the drumming."

Danny laughed at that. "Not nearly as much."

Steve then checked the time and called out. "Gracie, you ready?"

"Coming, Uncle Steve," was the reply from behind her closed door.

"You in a hurry, Superman?" Danny asked him, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Don't want to be late."

"Late? We have plenty of time. On second thought, let's leave soon so you don't have to drive like a maniac to get there," Danny huffed good-naturedly.

"I'll have you know I'm a very good driver."

"So you keep telling me. Now, for the Indy 500, yeah, you're perfect but for city streets with my kids in the back…"

Before he could continue, Grace stepped out of her bedroom. A stunning vision, she was dressed in a white gown under a sky blue cloak with sandals on her feet. Her beautiful brown hair showed from underneath a white veil.

Father and honorary uncle were rendered speechless while her little brother spoke what they each were thinking. "You look just like Mary." He turned to Steve and explained. "Her picture is in my book from Sunday school."

"Your brother's right. It's perfect. Where did you get that?" Steve asked.

"Get it? Would you believe I made it?" Danny asked.

"If I believed that then I'd have to believe Jerry's theories about Elvis, the Lindenburgh baby and aliens."

Grace laughed. "Danno found it on the internet. Charlie's too."

"Online shopping, Danno?" Steve grinned. "Seriously? How 'middle-aged woman' can you get?"

"Shut up and drive, you Neanderthal."

When the four of them had climbed into Steve's truck and headed off to the church, none of them noticed the car pulling up to where the truck had just been parked or the car's occupants quietly slipping inside the house.


	82. Chapter 82

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters besides Fr. Brendan and Sr. Nancy. Adventurous spirit that I am, after 81 chapters I decided it was time to try my hand at creating an original character or two. Fr. Brendan is based on a very dear priest friend of ours. Sr. Nancy is modeled after my late sister who was also my best friend (may she rest in peace) and with a nod to a special reader/reviewer ( .73) who is so amazingly kind and supportive.

A/N Sorry. Real life is increasingly getting in the way so I'm not always able to reply personally to every review and I'm taking longer than a week to post sometimes, but I hope to get back on a quicker posting schedule soon.

H50 H50 H50

The parking lot was practically empty when they pulled in to the church. "Need me to park in the handicapped spot?" Steve asked Danny teasingly. "Don't want you to have to walk too far with your arm in a sling."

With Danny's hard Jersey glare as his only reply, Steve pulled into a normal spot near the door with a smirk on his face.

When they stepped into the vestibule of the church, a man and woman approached. Dressed in black with a square of white peaking out from his high collar, the man was obviously a priest. He was taller than Steve with broad shoulders and a few extra pounds of padding. His hair had just a hint of red and his green eyes sparkled merrily above a warm yet crooked smile. The woman was dressed in a conservative back skirt suit with a white blouse and sensible shoes. Her green eyes held a hint of mischief while her smile was bright enough to light the darkest night. Contrary to his nature, Steve liked them both instantly.

"Merry Christmas, " Danny greeted as he extended his left hand out to the man and then the woman. "I'd like you to meet Steve McGarrett. Steve, this is Fr. Brendan and Sr. Nancy, the masterminds behind this pageant."

"You give us way too much credit, Danny," Sr. Nancy said with a soft voice and gentle laugh. "God is the mastermind. We are merely his willing helpers."

As Steve shook their hands in meeting, Charlie spoke up. "He's my Unca Steve. He said I played the drum real good."

Nodding to the two men, the priest turned his attention to the child. "He's right. You do, Charlie," he answered as he patted the boy on the head. "You've worked real hard at it."

"Danno taught me," Charlie offered proudly.

"So you've told me," the priest chuckled.

Sr. Nancy spoke to Grace now. "Your costume is beautiful, Grace, just like you told me it was."

"Danno got it. Mine too," Charlie interrupted to inform them, beaming as he spread his arms out and twirled around, drum swinging wide from the strap around his neck.

"Charlie, remember where you are," Danny admonished gently.

The boy stopped. "Oops, sorry Fr. Brendan."

The priest smiled that warm, crooked smile again. "It's okay. We've removed the Blessed Sacrament for the evening but you should still behave."

"Why don't you come help me put programs in the pews?" Sr. Nancy suggested, with her hand extended in an encouraging gesture to the young boy. "But you should probably leave your drum here so it doesn't get broken." She took the drum and placed it safely on a table by the wall before turning back to Danny and Steve. "Have a blessed Christmas."

After the men returned the sentiment, Grace offered to help with the programs as well. As the two children walked into the church proper with Sr. Nancy, Fr. Brendan spoke again looking at Steve. "So, you're a 'Hawaiian uncle' I take it?"

The partners laughed at the reference to a man who wasn't biologically an uncle but was given the title anyway. "Fortunately. We don't share a drop of blood," Danny replied, straight faced, before Steve could speak. "There are only good looking men in my family. Steve would feel very out of place."

"Well Steve, your friend here is a good man, if not overly kind," Fr. Brendan told him with a chuckle before excusing himself to finish his tasks.

Having arrived early, the two friends took seats in the front row. As other families arrived, Danny had a steady stream of parents and children saying Merry Christmas and wishing him well. He was obviously well known and well liked among the parents of Grace's peers. By the time the pageant was ready to start they were joined in the pew by Lynn, Eric, Chin, Abby, Kono, Adam and much to Danny's surprise, Mindy. With her natural charm, willingness to help and deep sense of caring, she had simply become a part of the ohana over the past two months and it had felt right to invite her to the Christmas Eve dinner at his house. He had mentioned the pageant when they discussed the timing but he had not known she was coming to see it. Yet, here she was, walking in with the others who came to see their honorary niece and nephew perform. Danny greeted each one quietly and couldn't help it as his gaze lingered just a moment longer as he locked eyes with Mindy, both breaking into a wide grin as they did.

From her seat a couple rows back and on the other side of the aisle, Rachel couldn't help but notice the row filled with people. She knew Eric would come and see his cousins perform. Both of the children had mentioned that he would be there. She also wasn't surprised that Steve was there; she had learned years ago that he and Danny spent a copious number of hours together on-duty and off. Any woman who Danny dated would also have to deal with sharing him with Steve, she thought with a wry grin. Good luck to her.

She had never seen the blond woman before but she appeared to be with Chin and they seemed to fit well together. Rachel was happy for Chin. He was a good man and she knew he had lost his wife in a terrible way. He deserved to be happy.

Inexplicably to her, most of her attention was drawn to the beautiful, smiling, dark haired woman who appeared to be completely comfortable with the entire team. Rachel whispered to Stan, who sat beside her, verifying that this woman was indeed not Melissa with dark hair. She glanced around the church to see if Melissa sat elsewhere, but could not find anyone who she thought could be her before Stan's subtle elbow to her side drew her attention back to the performance. Curiosity tugged at her though and her attention consistently veered to this new woman and to her ex-husband who, despite sitting at either end of the front pew the team was filling, seemed to her to somehow hold a deep connection. Nose twitching with disdain, Rachel instantly disliked her.

The pageant proceeded as the children told the story of the first Christmas through words, actions and song. Everything was going very smoothly. Sr. Nancy's abilities to draw the best out of each child and to make each one feel invaluable no matter how large or small their role, was evident in the quality of the performances.

Danny jolted as he felt the first tingle in his back trying to convince himself that it was just the starchy linen of his dress shirt, but fate dictated otherwise. He steadied himself, determined not to ruin even a moment for Grace or Charlie or to distract even one of the people in attendance. Shocking flares flittered across his back as tendrils of pain reached deep inside and he battled to keep his breathing under control.

The ability to read each other had been so deeply ingrained in the partners over the years that Steve was not fooled by Danny's valiant battle. "Shit Danny. Here? Now?" Steve whispered quietly with a concerned glance.

"Language, Steven," Danny forced back through clenched teeth, eyes never wavering from his beloved daughter. "This is a church."

A steady line of sweat began to trickle off Danny's brow and down the sides of his face as similar strands soaked his finely pressed shirt and dripped down to the waistband of his suit pants. Battling to deal with the pain and simultaneously control his erratic breathing while not revealing his struggle to anybody but his perceptive partner, Danny clenched his left hand into a tight fist around the corner of his once pristine gray suit jacket, still somehow sitting ramrod straight in the uncomfortable wooden pew.

'Shit, shit, shit. Damnit all to hell,' Steve thought silently, taking Danny's chastisement about his language to heart – at least the verbalization of it. "Do you have any tissues?" Steve now whispered to Lynn who sat on his left side, the request being passed down the line until a small packet of Kleenex was pulled from a bag and sent back up the row. Even as all faces remained facing forward, eyes shifted to check on their suffering teammate.

With the packet of tissues now in hand, Steve tried to pass them to his partner who endured, valiant and stoic, through the entire ordeal while his hand remained stubbornly fisted around the now damp and wrinkled corner of his suit jacket. The woman behind them, the mother of a friend of Grace's, tapped Danny on the shoulder with concern. "Danny, are you okay?"

The touch and her voice, though gentle and well intentioned, sent shock waves through Danny's over-taxed nervous system and he shuddered involuntarily, barely managing to stifle a gasp, yet his eyes never wavered from his daughter's face.

"He's having trouble breathing. Should I call an ambulance?" the well-intentioned mom now asked in a whisper, turning her attention to Steve. "I'm Grace's friend's mom, Nohea. I know Danny hasn't been well since the injury. An infection like that is dangerous."

"No. No ambulance," Steve replied quickly over his shoulder, in a similar hushed voice. "It will pass. Thank you, though."

Turning his eyes back to Gracie, Steve continued to split his attention between her and his struggling partner. Sure now that Danny would not, or maybe even could not, accept the pack of tissues, Steve pulled one out with the intention of wiping the sweat from Danny's eyes. He considered it for a moment, not rushing into the act (and wouldn't Danny be proud of him for thinking first) before abandoning the idea completely, knowing that if Grace saw him do it she would be upset and horribly distracted and Danny would be simply mortified. That simple act of compassion from him would clue her in to her father's current suffering and draw her attention to his plight. He knew Danny well enough to know that he would rather suffer there in silence, sweat stinging his eyes, than to ruin even one moment of his children's evening.

Mercifully, the nerve attack was a short one, loosening its vicious grip on Danny just before Charlie's grand entrance as the drummer-boy. Tightened muscles sagged with fatigue as he gathered his breathing under control once again. His eyes now on his son as he made his way up the aisle tapping his practiced rhythm on his little drum, Danny felt Steve press a couple tissues into his hand but it took a moment for him to understand the purpose. Then, nodding his head, he reached up with a shaky hand and wiped the sweat from his brow before stowing the sodden tissues in his jacket pocket. More tissues followed and he wiped the back of his neck as Charlie stepped next to Grace who held the doll that represented the infant Jesus. His two children, the best things that had ever happened to him, were right there center stage and he could barely hold himself upright to see them.

When the performance was finished, the audience rose to their feet with eager applause, the front row creating more than their share of the rousing response, with Danny sadly struggling to follow suit.

The children, under the tutelage of Sr. Nancy and the support of Fr. Brendan, had done a marvelous job and deserved the fine accolades that were pouring over them right this moment. Each and every one of their faces bore a beaming smile of joy and happiness while the family and friends facing them wore expressions just as wide, filled with a loving pride and the joy of Christmas.

Performance over, Grace and Charlie both came directly to their father and the ohana. Feeling like an outsider, Rachel watched as her children exchanged hugs with Danny and then with each of the ohana in the row with him. Her eyes narrowed as they even exchanged big hugs and happy smiles with the dark haired woman that Rachel had decided she didn't like. She saw Grace move her way as she saw Charlie tug on the hand of the dark haired woman and lead her over to the manger where the doll Grace had been holding now rested. After giving her daughter a hug and congratulating her on a fine performance, Rachel got down to business. "Who's the woman with your brother?"

Grace glanced over to look. "That's Mindy."

"Is she a friend of your father's?"

Grace nodded and shrugged simultaneously. "She's a coroner. She helped me paint Charlie's room. Thanks for coming," she added before turning back to her father who had been the one who had worked so hard to make sure she could be a part of this pageant. Even today, she came with him and would be leaving with him as well. A coroner, Rachel thought; the woman worked with dead people. She must be rather pathetic and socially inept.

Nohea, the woman who had been sitting behind Danny now approached Rachel, preventing her from following her daughter and asking any more questions. After exchanging pleasantries with Rachel and Stan, Nohea commented about Danny. "Is he all right?" she asked, concerned.

Rachel had fielded many questions over the past two months about her ex-husband's health while he had been hospitalized and then allowed home with his arm in the sling and the lingering, rampant infection in his back, but now that he was standing right there, she found it odd. "He's fine." It was far from the truth but she didn't feel like getting into a deep discussion about her ex.

"Not exactly fine," Stan added, at Nohea's incredulous look, "but he's healing."

"He looked absolutely miserable earlier. Like he could barely breath. I thought he was going to pass out right there in front of me." Nohea turned and looked at him as he was leaning back against the wooden pew, his friends standing sentry around him. "He still looks rather shaky. I wonder if he should be up and about, at all."

Charlie came over then and exuberantly greeted them. "Mommy! Daddy! Did you see me?"

As Charlie proudly explained to Stan, yet again, how Danno taught him how to properly rap the tune on the little drum, Rachel observed as the dark haired woman approached Danny and gently got him to turn around and sit down. Positioning herself next to him, the woman pulled a small water bottle from her handbag, opened it and encouraged Danny to drink. "Is that his girlfriend?" Nohea now asked.

The question irked Rachel and she replied curtly. "I wouldn't know. It's getting hot in here, don't you think?" she asked Nohea, changing subjects. "Let's go wait outside."

When Charlie had finished speaking with Stan and had received one last hug from him, he returned to Danny's side. "Can we go to your house now, Danno? What's for dinner? I'm starving."

Wanting to allow Steve to remain by Danny's side as they headed out to the cars, Mindy stepped over to Charlie and began to field his questions as they headed out.

"I don't need a minder," Danny grumbled to Steve as he walked beside him, "especially a Neanderthal one. Why don't you go walk with Lynn like a nice gentleman, huh? Think maybe you can handle that? Look, even my four year old son knows how to properly escort a lady," he said as they watched Charlie and Mindy walk ahead of them, hand in hand.

As they headed to the parking lot, Danny had no idea what lie in store for him when he reached his house.


	83. Chapter 83

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N My apologies. When introducing my original characters I should have clearly stated their titles before using the abbreviations. "Fr." is the abbreviation for the title of "Father" used by Catholics when addressing a priest. Similarly, "Sr." is the abbreviation for the title of "Sister" used by Catholics when addressing a nun. The abbreviations are only used in writing and are read as the full title. Therefore, the two characters are Father Brendan and Sister Nancy. Sorry for any confusion.

A/N Again, I had to choose between replying to everybody and posting. Work and real life have just been taking up more and more of my time. Didn't help that everybody else at work has been missing days because of being sick (stomach virus and/or flu). Hope this doesn't jinx me but I am the only one who hasn't been sick. It's meant a lot of extra work for me, on top of increasing my hours to begin with. (My "trick" is taking lots of Vitamin C, using Purell when ill co-workers have lurked nearby, wiping down the phone, computer mouse and keyboard with alcohol, and not letting anybody use my pen. )

A/N And now, the moment you've been waiting for. Well, maybe not THE moment…

H50 H50 H50

Exhausted by the nerve attack after a long day of wrapping presents and preparing the house for the Christmas Eve gathering, Danny put his head back and closed his eyes the moment he sat in the truck. He jolted awake at his son's shout just a short while later. "Danno, look!"

Shaking his head to clear the fog he seemed to be enveloped in, Danny opened his eyes and realized they were on his street. "Do you think Santa's elves did it?" Charlie now shouted excitedly from the back seat, legs swinging wildly as he pointed out the window.

Even Grace caught the sense of excitement, quite unusual for a young teen. "Wow. It's beautiful. How did you manage that, Danno?"

Danny was just as stunned as his children and he cast a quick glance at Steve. His partner had the worst poker face imaginable and Danny knew in a second that he had something to do with the vast amount of Christmas lights that were now burning brightly all around his house - the Santa and sleigh and the veritable wonderland of other figures that danced and gleamed as they adorned the lawn along with the beautiful lighted nativity and the magnificent, full sized Christmas tree that now shown through the living room window. "I didn't do anything Monkey. I think Charlie's right. Santa must have sent his elves ahead to decorate before he comes tonight."

"But, you had a tree up already, Daniel," Steve protested sarcastically.

"Yes I did, Steven," Danny replied with a matching tone. "One I won't get fined for," he added under his breath.

"It was a cute little tree," Steve added, teasing his best friend further. "Kind of like its owner."

"Did you just call me little?" Danny barked as they pulled into the driveway behind Eric and the Camaro.

"That's what you got hung up on?" Steve laughed as he hopped quickly out of the driver's side door. "I'll get Charlie."

While Steve hustled around the lawn with a fascinated Charlie, Danny moved at a slower pace. His eyes fell on Eric who was waiting for him, smiling and bouncing on his toes. "So, Uncle D, what do you think?"

"You? You arranged all this? How? Why?" Danny was overwhelmed.

Eric beamed, thrilled that his surprise had worked out so well and had been so very happily received. "Everybody helped," Eric confided. "The moment you left, we pulled all your things out of the attic, added a few more, brought in the tree. You like it?"

"Do I like it? Of course I like it! And my son," Danny said as he watched Charlie closely examine each figure on the lawn, "he thinks Santa and his elves came personally to do all this so you have totally made his day."

"I remember when I was a kid," Eric confided. "You always had so many decorations up - after Dad died, before Gracie. It was your house but I know they were for me. I thought it was the coolest house ever."

Danny grinned but replied in his typical fashion. "And do you know who had to take down all those decorations? Pack them up in boxes and climb a rickety ladder to put them in the attic one by one? Do you. Huh?" He looked around his exceedingly decorated front yard. "What were you thinking?"

"That Charlie will think this is the coolest house ever," he replied in a hushed voice, so his cousin wouldn't hear him. "Stan can't compete with that."

"You…?" Danny's smile was broad as he reached his arm out. "Come here, you goof." They shared a quick, warm hug. "Your Dad would be proud of you, you know?"

Eric smiled even brighter. "For putting up some Christmas lights?"

"For putting up some Christmas lights without hurting anybody. You didn't hurt anybody, did you? Electrocute them, knock them off a ladder or something?"

"Does a broken nail count?" Kono asked with a soft chuckle, looking at her hand as she stepped up to them.

"A nail? Badass rookie is crying over a nail? I thought you ate nails for breakfast, like Rambo in there?" Danny replied, playing with the words before they all entered the house and let the party begin.

Soon, the house was filled with ohana as Lou and his family, Duke and his wife, Nahele, Kamekona, and Pua, who still held out hope that Kono would introduce him to a young female relative, joined the clan that had been at the pageant. Drinks were poured and food was served but the main joy of the evening was not the sustenance served from a platter or pitcher but in the love and care that was shared amongst all who were there.

Keeping with the Christmas eve custom of the Italian side of his family, Danny had arranged a traditional "seven fishes" dinner just as he had at the other Christmas eve celebrations at his Hawaiian home. Marine life from the cold Atlantic coast of New Jersey varying somewhat from that of the warmer Pacific coast of Hawaii, some of the fish served were different from what he grew up with, but the spirit of Christmas and family filled the air just the same and the wine flowed just as much. It was intriguing for the Hawaiians to experience this tradition and appreciate the different environment that had helped form their favorite haole.

In a well-coordinated maneuver, the dirty dishes were cleared and the music was turned off so that one tow-headed little boy could hear the sleigh bells and the "ho-ho-ho" that came from outside the house.

Eyes wide with wonder and feet bouncing with excitement, Charlie ran to the window, jumping on the sofa between Grace and Nahele so he could see out. "It's Santa Claus, it's Santa!" he shouted as 'Santa' came around the side of the house as if he had come down from the roof. "He really came!" He turned now and looked at his smiling father. "Just like you said he would, Danno."

Someone opened the door and in walked a well-disguised Flippa shouting "Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!" and lugging a large sack over his shoulder.

Charlie leaped off the sofa and grabbed Grace by the hand to pull her off the sofa. "Come on sis, Santa's here."

Grace was too old now for the whole Santa thing, but she remembered the excitement she used to feel about Santa Claus. She now knew that it was her Danno who used to dress up when she was very young but she didn't know then. While the anticipation of Santa Claus coming while she slept was fun and exciting at her Mom's house, having him show up in person was a different kind of thrill that she experienced at her dad's house. Now it was Charlie's turn to enjoy it. She felt Nahele and Will, who had been sitting on either side of her, both give her a nudge and she allowed her little brother to pull her to her feet. "Hi Santa," she said with a smile as her little brother held tightly to her hand, tugging her along.

"You must be Grace and Charlie," Santa said, his voice verifying Grace's conclusion that it was Flippa behind the beard.

Charlie nodded excitedly and pointed out the other young people in the room. "And that's Will and that's Samantha and that's Nahele."

"Have you been a good boy Charlie?" Flippa Santa asked and was greeted with an exuberant nod of the head.

"I've been goo…," the boy began to say before stopping, tears coming to his eyes. "Not very good." He bowed his head and sobbed.

"Hey, hey, Tiger. What's the matter?" Danny asked worriedly as he moved quickly to his son. Kneeling down on one knee in front of him, Danny wrapped his left hand supportively around the back of his son's head and wiped a tear away with his thumb. "You've been good. He's been good, Santa. Really he has. You've been good Charlie." But the little boy was still disconsolate. Danny was at a loss. "Tiger, hey, what is it? What did you do that you think Santa will be upset about?"

Charlie sniffed, then glanced around the room at everybody watching him. When his eyes fell on Steve he began to cry again. "I jumped on Uncle Steve."

Danny was perplexed and looked to his best friend for an explanation or help – anything. Words weren't needed to express the plea.

"Hey Charlie," Steve said, approaching both his honorary brother and honorary nephew. "You didn't do anything bad. You just got a little excited and forgot to ask first."

"See, Tiger. It's not a Santa –nullifying bad deed, just a mistake."

Astonishingly, Charlie seemed to understand what his father meant as he chewed on his lower lip in thought.

"And you said you were sorry and that you wouldn't do it again," Steve pointed out.

As they spoke, Grace nudged Flippa a few times and he finally got the hint. He pulled his cell phone out and pretended to type. "Ho-ho-ho. Well, let me double check my list. Your full name is Charles…"

"Charles Edwards, I mean Charles Edward Williams," the boy said, a little uncertain. He looked at his father. "Right, Danno?"

Danny took a deep breath, steadying his nerves. The question tore at him, gnawed at him. No child should be unsure of his or her identity but that's exactly what had happened when Rachel lied about Charlie's paternity. He felt Steve, standing by his side as he knelt with his boy, lay a supportive hand on his shoulder. Danny managed a smile behind pained eyes. "Yeah, that's right, Tiger. Charles Edward Williams."

Flippa Santa spoke again, phone still in hand. "Well, I checked it twice and you're definitely on the good list, Charlie."

"You see?" Danny said to his little boy and when Charlie smiled and nodded in response he went on. "So, why don't we find a seat for Santa so he can hand out his presents, huh?"

Needing no more reassurance, Charlie turned and bounded over to Flippa, grabbing his gloved hand. "Come on, Santa. You can sit over here." He led him to a chair by the sparkling Christmas tree.

Money was tight for Danny, especially this year with medical and legal expenses building up quite fast, but gifts well chosen mean much more to a recipient than expensive ones of less thought. So it was, that every person in the room received at least one special heart-felt gift, carefully chosen, purchased (mostly online) and wrapped, one-handed, by Danny. The end products were not very pretty, but each person there understood the love and care that went into each personalized gift covered in awkward wrapping.

Danny's heart soared with happiness as he was able to share a bit of joy with all of these people who had been so incredibly helpful to him over the past two months, people who had been so very 'there' for him over the past years.

After everyone had opened their gifts, Charlie, with the eager help of Nahele and Will, began setting up the train tracks Santa gave him in his room. A smile plastered across her face, Grace promised to follow them shortly, before heading out the sliders to the back lanai where she allowed her tears to fall in earnest.

Just a short while later, Grace heard the sliding door open and she quickly attempted to wipe the tears from her eyes with the backs of her hands. She was surprised when she heard Lou's voice while a box of tissues was moved in front of her as he sat down in the chair next to hers. "I took these from the bathroom. We'll just put them back when we're done and nobody will notice." Getting no response from Grace, he paused a moment, pulling a few tissues from the box and pressing them into her hand. "Not these. These we'll throw in the trash."

Grace accepted the tissues, grinning slightly at the corny joke before wiping her eyes. Taking a couple more from the box that Lou still held she then blew her nose. "Thank you, Mr. Grover."

Nodding his acceptance, the big man sat there quietly, giving her space, giving her time. Trying not to stare at her, he let his gaze wander over the newly built swing set there and thought about how Will would have liked that when he was Charlie's age.

"Danno always played Santa for me," Grace began quietly, drawing his attention back. "I don't know what year I first realized it was him. I guess it came slowly. I don't know. He was an amazing Santa and there was nothing I loved more than to sit on his lap and feel his arms around me. Even when I was too old to sit in his lap, I'd do it anyway because there was just no better place in the world to be. Eventually, I was sure he knew that I knew but he kept doing it because as long as I wanted it, he would do it. That's the way he is. I can picture me, married and pregnant and still sitting on his lap."

"I'm not quite sure your Dad is ready for talk of marriage and pregnancy just yet," Lou said with a small nudge to her shoulder.

Grace grinned before continuing. "At Mom's house, Santa always came at night while I was sleeping. It was exciting in it's own way and Mom's Santa always brought the most expensive, fancy, trendy gifts. The same things that every girl in my class would get so I would never feel like I didn't fit in. Danno's gifts were the best though. He always got something that I really, really loved. Even if it was something I didn't ask for, it was always just right. Not nearly as expensive, nor as many as the ones Mom and Stan bought but that never mattered to me. It really didn't. They were always perfect."

She paused a few moments before going on. "Behind that Santa beard, he'd have this amazing sparkle in his eyes. I love my dad's eyes, beautiful blue and full of all of his emotions. I think maybe that's how I knew it was him playing Santa. Flippa did great today," she said, finally getting to the crux of her sadness, "but, it should have been Danno."

Lou understood that Grace had nothing against Flippa, but was simply upset about the fact that her father, with a large gaping wound in his back and only one working arm, couldn't carry the big bag of gifts and couldn't hold Charlie on his lap while handing him his presents, couldn't possibly fool the boy into thinking he was the real Santa. It was one more thing that this injury had stolen from Danny. There wasn't anything Lou could say that could change that.

"You know, I underestimated your dad when I first met him. I mean he's half my size so I naturally look down on him but it wasn't long before I noticed that he could never be taken lightly. His size don't matter - must be that Jersey in him." Lou said with a smile. His thoughts went to the time that Samantha had been kidnapped and he was falling apart. Danny spoke to him from the heart and shared with him about his experience when Grace had been taken. Danny had been his strength. "Your father, he has a presence that can fill a room and he's one of the strongest men I know, not just physically but in here." He tapped himself on the chest.

Grace looked up at the large man with a watery smile. "You think so?"

"Trust me, girl, I know so."

"He's tried so hard to stay positive. He always telling me it's going to be all right but what if it's not? What if he can never use his arm again? What then?" Grace asked with a sob, grabbing more tissues from the box in Lou's lap.

"Then he hugs you with one arm instead of two and you work the rest out as you go. You think you can do that?"

Grace smiled now, nodding her head. "Yeah. If Danno can handle it, so can I."

"That's a girl," Lou told her. He gave her a few moments to compose herself. "You ready to go inside?"

Grace nodded. "Yeah. Thanks Mr. Grover."

"Anytime baby girl. Anytime."


	84. Chapter 84

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Just a reminder (for the guest reviewer who was asking and for everybody else) - the attack on Danny occurred in late October 2015. This story is now in December 2015. While I have inserted a few things from the show into this story, it does not follow the timeline after episode 6.9 (Charade).

A/N Major mahalos to all of you faithful readers who have stuck with this story this long, to all the faves and follows, and most especially, to all of the readers who take the time to write a few words and tell me what they like about my story in a review. Your words inspire me and humble me and I could never have gotten this far without you.

H50 H50 H50

Eventually, the crowd gathered in the dining room once again. Coffee and desserts, including a birthday cake for Jesus of course, were enjoyed before Eric left to bring Grace and Charlie to their mother's house and then head to Tiffany's house to celebrate with her and her family.

The others began to make their farewells a while later, exchanging hugs and kisses and well wishes and Merry Christmases and even some Happy Hanukkahs for Max.

Steve, Lynn and Mindy remained longer, helping Danny put food away and cleaning everything up so there was no more work for him to do when they left and he could get the rest he so desperately needed.

While Lynn and Mindy chatted in the kitchen, packing leftovers into containers and washing dishes, Steve approached Danny as he tidied up in the living room. "So, tomorrow's the big day, huh?"

"Uh, yeah. Tomorrow is Christmas, Steven. You're really on the ball there," Danny replied, slightly confused and wondering if maybe, possibly, Steve had imbibed a little too much eggnog.

"And, you're going to see Melissa."

"Hence, the 'big day' comment. Gotcha." Danny still wondered about the eggnog nipping, but he answered the question. "Yeah. I really need to see her, you know? I mean the last time I saw her she was barely alive in the back of an ambulance and the time before that I wasn't in much better shape in a hospital room. I really need to see for myself that she's okay."

"You still care about her," Steve said.

"Of course I still care about her. I wouldn't have spent 3 years of my life with her if I didn't care."

Having been clued in by Danny to the conversation he had with Chin the other day about his evaluation of his relationship with Melissa, Steve probed further. "You decide what you're going to say to her?"

"I thought Merry Christmas might be good."

Steve shook his head. He should have expected that, should have expected that this wouldn't be an easy conversation. "And then?" When Danny remained silent for more than a few moments, a very un-Dannylike thing to do, Steve pressed on. "You know what the hell I'm talking about partner. You don't love her. What are you going to say to her?"

Danny sighed heavily. "Hell, Steve, I'm not trying to be obtuse, I just…" He put down the stack of dirty dishes and sank into the sofa with a weary sigh. "I love her, I guess. I just don't love her."

"That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."

"Bite me, Steven. You know what I mean. I love her, I just don't love her – love her. I care about her, a lot. She's been a part of my life for 3 years now and it's been good, but..."

"I think what you're trying to say is that you love her but you're not in love with her."

"That sounds so pathetically cliché."

"And the rest of this doesn't?"

Danny huffed out another weary sigh and ran his hand down his face. "She has to know, right? I mean I said 'don't say it if you don't mean it' so she has to know that if I've never said it it's because I don't mean it."

"On one level, yeah, I guess she has to know," Steve agreed half-heartedly.

"We've both been living in denial too long," Danny assessed.

"Yeah, so…" Steve prompted.

"So, I still don't know what to say." Danny shook his head. "Crap. How do things get so screwed up? And you know what? I still don't know how she'll even react just to seeing me. The last time she saw me she swallowed a handful of pills…"

"Danny, that was not your fault. You saved her life!"

"If I hadn't shown up there…"

"Then you wouldn't have saved her life!" Steve hissed at him, passionately refuting Danny's self-doubt, but keeping his voice low so he wasn't heard from the kitchen.

"I wouldn't have needed to save her life if she hadn't taken those pills and maybe she wouldn't have taken those pills if I hadn't gone there."

"You said you went there because she was acting really off and she wouldn't answer her phone, right?" They'd been over this so many times but Steve would try again.

"Yeah."

"Do you think that was because she was happy or because she had gotten worse?"

"Steve…"

"No. Answer me. Why did you feel the need to go over there?" Steve had asked this question before but he knew that Danny's over-protective nature caused him to feel guilt even when he had done all that he could do.

"Danny?" Mindy called from the kitchen, interrupting the conversation before he could reply. "Do you expect those dirty dishes to walk in here by themselves?" she asked with a laugh.

"I'm coming," he called out in response before looking back at Steve and lowering his voice again. "I just want to see her, alright? Make sure she's okay. The rest I'll just have to figure out when the time comes." With that, he rose from the sofa, lifted the dirty dishes in his left hand and headed to the kitchen to bring them to Mindy and Lynn to wash.

A short while later, everything was finished and the voluntary clean up crew had headed out the door. Danny was in the kitchen reaching for his medications when he heard the front door open again. Knowing Steve had a key he called out. "Forget something, babe?"

"It's just me," came Mindy's sweet voice, secretly relishing being called 'babe' by him even though she knew he thought he was speaking to Steve. "Steve let me back in."

"Okay." Heading towards the front of the house, Danny met Mindy in the doorway of the kitchen.

Standing face to face, Mindy noticed it first and her eyes shot up to look above their heads. "Mistletoe," she whispered.

Danny's eyes followed instinctively. Mistletoe? "Uh, yeah. Eric's idea, I guess, or maybe Kono's. Kono would do something like that. Maybe Abby? Definitely not Chin. Steve wasn't even here." Danny had no idea why he was rambling like a schoolboy.

"I just came back for my sweater." She held it up to show him. "It's chilly tonight."

The two stared at each other for a moment.

Danny quirked a grin. "This is a heat wave in New Jersey."

Mindy shifted.

Danny rocked on his heals.

"We gonna do this?" Danny asked, nodding up at the mistletoe by way of explanation.

"It's an age old tradition," Mindy replied with a sheepish grin.

"We don't have to, if you don't want to," Danny assured her, shoving his hand in his pocket.

"No. I want to," Mindy assured him back, her cheeks pinking at the admission.

Danny smiled.

Mindy swallowed.

Danny scratched the back of his head.

Mindy bit her lower lip.

Gathering his courage, Danny stepped closer, moving his left hand behind her neck before lowering his lips to hers.

As Danny moved, Mindy shifted closer as well. She tilted her head and closed her eyes as their lips touched.

It was intended to be a quick friendly innocent platonic kiss and it was – yet it wasn't. It was excruciatingly brief. Danny's body screamed for more, battling hard with his brain over the desire.

Mindy's hand was on his chest and she knew the beating of her heart matched the frantic rhythm she felt there. She didn't want to stop.

Brain winning over body, Danny pulled his head back but remained close, almost going for a second dip, as they each looked deeply into the other's eyes. He took a soft breath and allowed his hand to drop to his side.

Mindy felt Danny move away, his breath warm and inviting on her face for a long moment. Easing her hand from his chest, she left it suspended in the air between them for a second before using it to shift the sweater that she still held in her other hand.

With thoughts of Melissa intruding on the moment, Danny took a step back but bumped into the doorframe behind him as he moved. Physical contact gone, their eyes remained locked.

Danny cleared his throat. He could still feel her soft lips on his, her gentle hand on his chest.

Mindy could still feel his warm lips on hers, his strong hand in her hair. It felt so right, but she thought of Melissa and knew she could never have more. She was falling for a man who was already spoken for.

Danny was up against the wall.

Mindy stepped away.

Danny watched her leave.

Neither one said they were sorry.


	85. Chapter 85

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N A special thank you to Julieb716 and Wenwalke who each looked over the first draft of this chapter and gave me the courage to proceed with it, but it's all on me if you don't like it.

A/N Extra long chapter this week. It really didn't separate well anywhere else. Besides, this coming week and next weekend will be crazy ones for me so hopefully this holds you over. I'm not sure if I can post the next one within a week. I'll try, though.

A/N _Parts in italics are Danny's memory._

H50 H50 H50

Christmas morning, Danny awoke alone to a silent and empty house. A Facetime call with his children gave him all the information he didn't want to know about the obscenely abundant and extravagant gifts his children had received that morning. Charlie alone garnered 27 gifts from Rachel and Stan's version of Santa. That was 24 more than he had received from Danny, who lived by the belief that if three gifts were good enough for Jesus than three gifts were good enough for anybody. Granted, Jesus received gold while Charlie received a Pie Face game but still, the general principal was perfectly valid.

While Danny was both relieved and thrilled that the revelation of his paternity had not changed the Christmas morning experience for either of his kids, he still couldn't keep himself from worrying. "I bet Stan will sue me for the cost of all of those freaking presents next," he grumbled after they disconnected the call.

Shaking his head at the fact that he was talking to himself, he set to work making some coffee and warming up some leftovers from the night before that Mindy had so thoughtfully cut up and divided into containers for him. He marveled at Mindy's amazing friendship and wondered how soon he would mess up somehow and lose that friendship forever. He recalled their kiss under the mistletoe just the night before - how he wanted more, how he almost went for more, how she had walked away without saying a word, how he had let her walk away without saying a word -and he fretted over it, fretted over the possibility that that kiss might be what would push her away.

Forcing the negative thought from his mind, he looked ahead to his day. He was eager to see Melissa. He had worried about her continually and hoped that seeing her would help settle his nerves about how she was doing. He still didn't know how he should address their relationship or if he should just leave things the way they had been, but he definitely wanted to see her.

With his right hand still completely useless and hanging untethered at his side, it took him two trips to carry the mug of coffee and the plate of food to the lanai where he sat alone and ate while listening to the birds chirp and watching the sun climb above the tree line. It wasn't exactly a traditional Christmas breakfast, but not much about Danny's life was traditional anymore.

"Merry Christmas," he mumbled to the mongoose that scurried around near the bushes on the other side of his yard, not far from the swing set his friends had helped build for Charlie. He quirked a lopsided smile. A mongoose. Hawaii couldn't even have squirrels like every other place in the country. This hell-hole had to have mongooses. Danny paused in his thinking. Was the plural of mongoose really mongooses?* Grammar rules would dictate that it was, but Danny knew all too well that the most important rule in English grammar was that there was an exception to every rule.

He was making a mental note to check that out later when a slight movement on the bush the mongoose was scurrying under caught his eye. There, on a leaf, was a gecko. A Gold Dust Day Gecko if his memory served him correctly. Grace had taught him that somewhere along the line. She thought they were cute like the chipmunks back in New Jersey. "Merry Christmas," he told the gecko. What's good for the mongoose is good for the gecko, he thought with a chuckle at his own little twist on the old adage and besides, he had nobody else to say it to. Forcing himself not to dwell on that particular thought, he looked around.

Growing up in an apartment in Newark, New Jersey, the only birds he found outside his window were pigeons on the fire escapes and in the street below. When his parents had finally made it out of the city and bought the house in South Orange and he had scraped up enough money to put a meager down payment on the little house in Weehawken when Rachel was pregnant with Grace, he would find robins, blue jays, cardinals, woodpeckers and chickadees in the trees in the backyards. Now in the trees he found a beautiful saffron finch, a java sparrow and a white fairy tern. He surprised himself at being able to identify them so readily. Maybe this place really was becoming home. "Merry Christmas," he muttered one more time to the birds, before deciding he needed to stop acting like a freaking Dr. Doolittle and get moving.

Then he balanced his empty cup on his empty plate and went back into the house to get ready to see Melissa.

H50 H50

Danny entered the hospital and headed towards the psychiatric wing. The pleasant wishes of 'Merry Christmas' to total strangers that occurred most places on this day seemed oddly out of place here. Somebody being in the hospital was tough enough on a regular day, but on Christmas it just seemed all the more sad and depressing. He carried a gift bag in his left hand. Not only was it an easier way to wrap the gift, but it was also the only way the package would make it through security to the special wing Melissa was in.

After the package had been inspected and cleared and he had signed in (left handed), he entered the unit, following the directions given to him. The day room where Melissa was waiting for him was fully decorated for the holidays, with a small Christmas tree in the corner, the furniture obviously re-arranged to make room for it. Several patients were already settled into comfortable cushioned chairs speaking with their visitors while a few sat alone. Melissa stood up as he approached.

"Hey Doll. Merry Christmas," Danny said with a smile as he stepped over to her and greeted her with a light kiss on the lips. Anything more seemed inappropriate for many reasons. Danny looked at her carefully, needing to see for himself how she was doing. She looked paler than usual, but then again she'd been indoors for nearly all of the past few weeks. She looked thinner, too, not that she ever had much weight on her to begin with. She was smiling and that was a good thing; even better was the fact that she didn't seem unnerved by seeing him. That took a weight off his shoulders. Something about her looked different, though and it took him a few moments to realize that she wasn't wearing any makeup. He wondered vaguely if she didn't have anything here or if she just didn't want to bother with it for him.

"Merry Christmas, Jersey," she replied, using her usual nickname for him. "How's the weather out there?"

Danny grinned. He and the New York native often joked about the weather. She had enjoyed the constant warm weather in Hawaii from the start whereas Danny still missed the range of seasons and the bitter winter cold of the northeast region of the continental US. "Would you believe that it's 70°F in New Jersey today?**" he informed her.

"No way. Seriously?" Melissa laughed. "Good thing you didn't go home this year."

This is home now, Danny thought silently, with mongooses instead of squirrels and ohana instead of family. "Yeah," he said instead. "Would be a waste of a winter trip." He caught himself just before he was about to comment on the fact that he couldn't do any snowboarding this year anyway. He adjusted his arm in the sling. "So, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing well. I feel better than I have since… Well, in a long time."

Danny was sure he knew what she was about to say, but the doctor had told him not to push, especially on the subject of how she was feeling, so he let it go, changing the subject instead. "This is for you," he told her as he handed her the large gift bag and they sat down in cushioned chairs placed caddy cornered to each other. It allowed them a bit of privacy in the increasingly crowded room, their knees nearly touching. "Merry Christmas."

"I don't have anything for you," Melissa apologized.

"It's okay. I have everything I need knowing you're okay," Danny assured her.

There was silence for a moment while Melissa contemplated her reply. "Thank you."

Danny wasn't sure if the simple thank you was for the gift she had yet to open or the words he had just spoken or for saving her life, a feat she had yet to acknowledge to him. He ignored that realization. He didn't need to hear her recognize what he had done for her. He had done the right thing and that was reward enough. He smiled and then nodded his head at the bag. "Go ahead. Open it."

Reaching inside, she pulled out a box wrapped loosely in red and green striped tissue paper. She pulled the paper aside to reveal a box of Dolce and Gabbana perfume. Danny had debated getting her the extremely popular La Vie Est Belle by Lancome, but he was afraid that it just wasn't the right time to give her something that translated to Life is Beautiful. Maybe he was overthinking it, but he wasn't certain if that name might trigger a reaction, so he went with the much more benign, Light Blue. Melissa's eyes lit up and she squealed in delight. Danny always seemed to know exactly what she'd like. "Thank you so much." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek before opening the box and trying out the scent right away. She breathed in deeply. "It's amazing. I love it."

Danny nodded towards the bag again. "There's more."

Removing the red and green tissue paper from the next gift revealed a royal blue, red and white NY Giants ¼ zip, long sleeve, performance shirt. She looked at it, incredulous. "You bought a Giants shirt?" she asked with a big smile. Danny was a much bigger football fan than Melissa was, but their preference for the opposing New York area football teams had always been treated as a joke rather than a point of contention. This was the first time, however, that Danny had ever given her anything related to the rival of his beloved Jets. His normal gifts tended towards slinky lingerie. In fact, he was on a first name basis with more than one of the saleswomen at Victoria Secret however, the current situation as it was, lingerie didn't seem appropriate.

"I just hope my money doesn't help them get to the playoffs next year," he grumbled with good humor.

"Well, I think it will, and I'll be sure to thank you for it." She grinned as she slipped it on over her head. "I love it and it fits perfectly. Thank you." She kissed him lightly on he lips.

Danny was thrilled to see Melissa smiling and happy and pleased that his carefully chosen gifts had been so well received. "Saved the best for last," he told her with a wink.

"You're spoiling me," Melissa told him with a grin as she reached into the bag again and pulled out a cookie tin. "Ice skating penguins!" she exclaimed as she looked at the lid. "It's adorable."

"I tried to find polar bears," Danny told her apologetically. He didn't tell her that a freaking nerve attack had ruined the very carefully chosen ceramic Polar Bear cookie jar that he had found and bought for her months ago. The thought might disturb her currently fragile psyche.

"It's okay. It's what inside that counts," she assured him as she opened the tin and sniffed in the intoxicating aroma of the freshly baked cookies. She picked one out and bit into it before offering them to Danny, although he declined. He had many more at home; these were for her. "Mmmm, what's inside is amazing," she moaned pleasantly as she picked up another one.

Conversation moved to Grace and Charlie and then to the Five-0 team before Melissa asked about Danny. He gave a half shrug. "Doing okay. Hopefully, at my check up this week, the doctor will say the infection is cleared up."

"The wound is still open?" Melissa asked.

"Yeah," Danny admitted.

"Any movement yet? Any feeling?"

Danny sighed. "No."

"Oh." She chewed on her fingernail.

Noticing her unrest, Danny tried for something more positive. "But, if the infection is gone, then they can close it up."

"Well, that should feel better, I'd think." She pulled her hand away from her mouth and began twisting both hands together.

"Eventually, yeah." He avoided telling her how they'd have to do a skin graft to close up the wound properly after all this time.

"Does it still hurt?" she now asked, biting her lower lip as she bounced her leg.

"My back, yeah." He didn't go into detail about how, despite daily physical therapy, the lack of motion was causing many muscles in his shoulder and back to tighten because they were unused, resulting in more pain than just the open wound itself. "Don't feel anything in my arm or hand, so that's good, I guess."

H50

An hour later, sitting in the hospital lounge, Danny was still trying to figure out what went wrong from there.

Melissa had been in good spirits and had thoroughly enjoyed the gifts he gave her. She had shown no signs of anxiety or panic or anything when he arrived. They had greeted each other with a kiss and she had kissed him when she thanked him for the gifts.

They had spoken about Grace and Charlie and Danny had told her about the gifts they had received not only from him but also Rachel and Stan. The night before, Eric had recorded parts of the Christmas pageant on Danny's phone and Melissa had watched each one with rapt attention oohing and aahing over beautiful Grace and adorable Charlie.

Melissa had asked about Steve and the rest of the team and Danny had given her updates on all of them, shared their wishes for her continued recovery and promised to share her Christmas wishes with them.

But then… then Melissa had asked about Danny's recovery and things had taken a downward turn. It wasn't blatantly obvious that a huge problem was looming until it was too late, but reflecting on it now, Danny knew that was where the change occurred. She had become nervous, fidgety, biting her lip, chewing on her fingernails. He was a trained detective and, beyond that, had naturally good observational skills and, observing these minor changes, he had tried to steer the direction of the conversation to something more neutral.

" _Can you believe I saw a mongoose in my backyard this morning? They're as prolific as the squirrels in New Jersey."_ His attempts at lightening the mood had not worked, but he still couldn't figure out how it had turned into a discussion of their relationship and Danny's character.

" _You never hurt me, you never lied to me; I'll give you that."_ Danny could picture her saying that so very clearly but had no idea what had prompted her to make that declaration. He had studiously avoided the subject of their relationship, intent that he would only bring it up if and when the time was right.

 _He tried to reply on a positive note. "Of course I'd never do that. I care about you."_

 _Melissa laughed, actually laughed._ _"You know how you would never say 'I love you'?"_

" _Melissa…" Danny really, really didn't want to go there right now._

" _No, it's okay. I understand now."_

" _You do?"_

" _Yes, I do. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. There's not much else to do around here besides talk to the counselors and think. So, I started to think about how you never said you love me, how you said you can't say it if you don't mean it."_

 _Danny nodded, feeling suddenly self-conscious about that. It sounded so stupid now._

" _So, I came to a realization." She looked Danny right in the eye now. "You_ _don't_ _love me. I told you over and over that I love you, yet you never said it to me. But, you never lied and told me you did so I give you credit for that."_

 _Danny was a smart man and could always think on his feet. He never had trouble coming up with something to say, but right now he was rendered speechless as Melissa plowed on._

" _And I realized something else. It's not because of me. It's not because I'm unlovable or anything like that."_

" _That's right. It's not you," Danny confirmed, finally able to speak. "You're a good woman."_

" _I know that now. It's not me," Melissa said again._

Sitting downstairs in the hospital lounge reliving everything in his head, Danny stared vacantly into space. He had been relieved that she had understood his reasons for never saying those three little words to her, but he had been unprepared for what she had said next - utterly and woefully unprepared.

" _It's not me, it's you."_

He struggled to find a comfortable position, the pain in his back intense as her next words echoed in his head and tore his heart to shreds…

" _You are incapable of love."_

HHHH

* For the grammatically inclined readers, yes, the plural of mongoose is mongooses.

** Christmas day 2015 was unseasonably warm in New Jersey, reaching near, if not over, 70°F.


	86. Chapter 86

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters besides Sr. Nancy and Fr. Brendan.

A/N I'm not totally happy with this chapter but if I don't post it now I'm not sure when I can. Real life threw another curveball this week. Nothing to worry about, it just affected my time and ability to write.

A/N _Parts in italics are Danny's memory._

H50 H50 H50

" _You are incapable of love."_

The words resounded in his head.

" _You are incapable of love."_

They bounced and echoed.

" _You are incapable of love."_

They grew louder and gained momentum.

" _You are incapable of love. You are incapable of love. You are incapable of love."_

Danny felt empty and hollow as he sat alone in the first floor hospital lounge, not having made it any farther after Melissa had broken up with him and had all but thrown him out of the day room of the psychiatric wing upstairs.

" _You are incapable of love."_

He arched his back with a soft moan of pain, feeling like he'd been stabbed in the back all over again.

" _You are incapable of love."_

Was he really? Was he really incapable of love? At times, Rachel had told him that he was selfish and only cared about himself. Was that because he didn't love? Couldn't love?

He loved Grace. She was his life. But, if he really loved her, wouldn't he stop nagging her about where she was going and who she was going with?

He loved Charlie. He was his life, now that he knew he was his. But, if he really loved Charlie, wouldn't he have let him keep the stable, affluent family life he had with Stan Edwards as his father rather than demand that Charlie be told of his true parentage?

If he really loved both of them, wouldn't he stay away from them - far, far away – so the dangers of his job never touched them?

He loved his family. They were a part of him. But if he really loved his family, wouldn't he have stayed in New Jersey to take care of them and keep Matty out of trouble?

He loved Steve. He was his best friend. But if he really loved Steve, wouldn't he shut up and follow him blindly into every dangerous situation as the rest of the team did?

He loved Melissa, not in a lifetime commitment kind of way, but in a 'caring what happens' kind of way. But if he really loved Melissa would he have kissed Mindy under the mistletoe before he had officially broken things off with Melissa?

Maybe he really was incapable of love.

Danny's head was spinning, his vision blurring as he stared blankly ahead, replaying more of her words.

" _You used me."_

" _I was not a priority to you."_

" _I was just a warm body for your bed."_

" _You're afraid of commitment."_

" _You attract violence."_

" _You'll always be alone."_

Danny shook himself from his thoughts when he heard his name being called. Startled, he turned quickly to see where the voice was coming from, then moaned softly again when his back flared. Damn. He couldn't wait until that wound was closed up and would start to heal.

"I'm so sorry, Danny. I didn't mean to startle you." The soft voice of Sr. Nancy came from his left.

Having been raised in the fine art of respect, Danny rose to his feet, still feeling unfocused. "It's okay, Sr. Nancy. I just wasn't paying attention." He tried to smile, but it wasn't easy. He was too distracted, too preoccupied, too upset. _Incapable of love_?

"Are you here visiting someone?"

"Yeah, my uh… a friend," who I don't love, he thought, because I'm _incapable of love_.

"It's an especially tough time to be here. He's lucky to have a friend like you, who will come on Christmas."

"She," Danny corrected without thinking. "My, uh, friend is a woman," who thinks I was just using her as a _warm body for my bed_ , he thought.

"Well, she's a lucky woman, then."

Danny ducked his head and sighed, unable to completely hide his tormented feelings. _"You used me."_ He'd been dumped – on Christmas. _"You'll always be alone."_ Even though he knew he wasn't in love with Melissa it still hurt, the way it had been done. _"Good bye, Daniel."_ The things she had said. _"You are incapable of love."_ Again, Danny spoke without thinking, "I don't think she'd say that."

"Oh, I think you are too humble," Sr. Nancy chastised gently.

Danny lifted his head quickly, startled. Humble was most certainly not among the words that Melissa had flung at him. "I meant her being in here on Christmas," Danny said. It wasn't exactly a lie. Being stuck in a hospital psyche ward on Christmas really did suck. "That's not very lucky." Well, I guess maybe she feels lucky that she's now free of me, he thought dejectedly.

Having noticed Danny's sadness and unease yet also his reticence to talk about it, Sr. Nancy let the subject drop and moved on. "Do you need a ride home? You live near me, it's no trouble," she offered.

Several people had offered to drive him to and from the hospital this morning and he knew any number of other people would have done so also if they had known he was headed here today, but Danny didn't want to intrude on anybody's Christmas so he had arranged for an Uber to get him here and had planned to return home the same way. Sr. Nancy, however, was much better company than an Uber driver and she was right here and going that way anyway. Mostly though, she was very persuasive in a calm and gentle way, so he ended up agreeing, on the condition that she simply drive to the convent driveway by the church and he'd walk the few blocks from there. The fresh air and exercise were good for him, he insisted.

In the car, Danny struggled valiantly to maintain his side of a conversation, but his thoughts kept straying. _"You even put your job before me."_ For Sr. Nancy's sake, maybe he should have taken the Uber and avoided having to talk altogether.

Yet, Sr. Nancy was one of the kindest, gentlest people he knew. He didn't know her very well, but her company was calming. Having noticed his unease, she tried to stick with easy topics. "Your children are wonderful. So happy and well adjusted and polite. All of the older children adore Charlie and he worked so hard to do his part just right. I'm happy that Grace suggested it."

"She's a good big sister," Danny said. I don't deserve them, he thought. _"You'll always be alone."_

"They have a good father."

"Some people would beg to differ. I even beg to differ." _"You only think of yourself."_ He shifted painfully in his seat, his back bothering him more than usual today.

Stopping at a red light, Sr. Nancy cast a sideways glance at her passenger. He seemed so dejected and uncomfortable. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Danny said, not wanting to start talking about himself. "You're a good driver," he added before reverting to his best self-defense mechanism. "My Neanderthal partner on the other hand, drives like a maniac."

Knowing a ploy to change the subject when she saw one, Sr. Nancy nevertheless allowed the change, not wanting to push Danny when she didn't know him all that well. "That's 'Uncle Steve' you're talking about?" she asked with a genuine smile as the light turned green and she began driving again.

Danny couldn't help but smile a bit at Sr. Nancy's gentle grin. "Yeah, he's an animal. Drives my car like we're in the Indy 500 or something." _"You're afraid of commitment."_

"Your car?"

"Yeah, my car. Stole my crime scene, stole my case, conscripted me as a partner, got me shot, drove onto a ship – and that's all the first day I met him." _"You even put your work before me."_

She laughed. "I guess it got better after that?"

"No, not at all, that Rambo superSEAL is a Neanderthal." _"You attract violence."_

"Your best friend?"

"You better believe it," but I don't deserve him, he thought. _"You'll always be alone."_


	87. Chapter 87

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters besides Sr. Nancy and Fr. Brendan.

A/N Small spoiler for the Feb 10, 2017 episode, Poniu I Ke Aloha (Crazy in Love).

I must say that I really liked Danny and Melissa's relationship in last night's episode. Danny tried hard to work past his "intimacy issues" and Melissa was loving and understanding through all of Danny's quirks. To top it off, Danny said "I love you." Such a huge difference in their relationship from last year's Valentine's ep. Chicken salad anyone? ;)

A/N _Parts in italics are Danny's memory._

H50 H50 H50

When Sr. Nancy dropped Danny off at the church, he didn't walk home. He intended to, even started to, but he felt himself inextricably drawn to the now empty church. He had been a believer when he was young, even served proudly as an altar boy. That began to change when his prayers for Billy's life went unheeded. By the time his pleas for his marriage were similarly rejected, the change was written in stone. But right now, the church was beautiful and peaceful and he was tired so he sank down wearily into a pew, Melissa's words piercing his head and his heart. _"You are incapable of love."_

Danny had spent his life dealing with anxiety. Even when things were wonderful, he was always waiting for something horrible to happen – and he was usually right. Life rarely failed to disappoint, in that regard. From the death of his best friend Billy when he was a young boy to Melissa breaking up with him with such zeal just a short while before and everything in between, his life was one slap in the face after another. _"You are incapable of love."_

How did my life get so incredibly f*#%ed up? Danny wondered for what had to have been the zillionth time. Sitting in the pew in the middle of a beautifully decorated church on Christmas day Danny was incongruously disinterested and forlorn. He wasn't sure what he had expected when he came in here but it wasn't this. He was more confused, more flustered and in more pain than when he got here. _"You are incapable of love."_

He shifted his arm in the sling. Damn, his back hurt. Sitting like this in a wooden pew was not something he had thought through, although given what happened in this very church just the evening before, he should have known better. Knowing he still had to walk home from here, Danny was resigning himself to the long haul. He'd rest a bit before heading out. There was nothing waiting for him there anyway. He hadn't expected that he would spend less than an hour with Melissa. The original plan had been to spend the day together; it was Christmas after all. This was another plan shot to hell. _"You are incapable of love."_

Trying to pull his thoughts away from his latest ex and her declaration and subsequent defamation of his character, they strayed instead to his injury, as he had now been walking around with a hole in his back for nearly two long months. Two months of pain and painkillers, of infection and antibiotics, of fatigue and naps, of restrictions and dependency, of fear and loss. He had a doctor appointment coming up this week and the wound would be reevaluated. Danny knew that the doctor would say the infection had not cleared up and they'd have to leave the wound open even longer. He had told Melissa he was optimistic that the infection was gone, but reality never worked out like that for him. _"You are incapable of love."_

Palming his eyes with his left hand, he tried to clear his mind for a moment and just appreciate the majesty and serenity of the church. It didn't work a bit. _"You are incapable of love."_

Did he honestly believe that coming here would solve anything? He had spent hours the week before trying to sort things out at Diamond Head to no avail. Why would this be any different? There were no answers to some questions.

He sighed deeply, heard the side door open and watched Fr. Brendan walk in. "I guess you want to lock up," Danny said.

"No rush."

"You alone today, too?"

"I have some plans a bit later, but like I said, no rush. Do you mind if I tidy up a bit while you pray?"

"I'm not praying." Danny blurted out quickly, feeling the need to make that clear. "Just thinking." He paused a moment before continuing. "Is that okay? If I sit here and don't pray?"

"Yes, that's fine."

"I don't really know why I came in here. Partly because I didn't feel like going home to an empty house, I guess. How pathetic is that on Christmas – an empty house?"

Avoiding touching on any judgment of Danny's situation, Fr. Brendan answered simply. "You're always welcome here." He began to wind his way through the pews, picking up songbooks and placing them in the holders, gathering church bulletins that had fallen under the seats, and collecting a small child's toy that was accidentally left behind. It wasn't really his job to do, but he needed to look busy. He had become friendly with Danny over the past few years that Grace had attended the school and had become concerned when Sr. Nancy told him of running into him at the hospital and then of the subsequent ride here.

He glanced occasionally at Danny, grimacing in sympathy as Danny shifted in a vain attempt to get comfortable. Sr. Nancy had said he looked miserable, not just physically, but emotionally as well. She was right. "Are you okay?" he asked a short while later when he saw Danny wince.

Danny adjusted his arm in the sling without thinking, taking a deep breath and letting it out. "Yeah."

"It's not right to lie in church," Fr. Brendan said with a soft smile.

"Add it to the list of things I do wrong," Danny answered with a shake of his head.

"You want to talk?"

"Like Confession or whatever they call it now?"

"No, not Confession. Not unless that's what you want," the priest offered.

Danny just gave him a look that clearly, but respectfully, said no thank you to that offer and Fr. Brendan continued tidying up the church.

Danny had a hard time not talking when somebody else was around, especially when his mind was running a marathon, so eventually he began to speak. "I went to visit Melissa at the hospital today."

"Your girlfriend?" Fr. Brendan had met her when she came with Danny to pick Grace up from school a while back.

"Well, my ex-girlfriend now. She's in the Psych ward. Tried to kill herself with pills a few weeks ago."

Saddened by the topic, but happy that Danny seemed ready to talk, the priest stopped what he was doing and came closer, standing next to the pew where Danny was seated. "Watching someone struggle like that is very difficult," he agreed.

"Yeah, add it to the list."

"Is this the same list you mentioned before or a new one?"

Danny grinned. "I make lots of lists, Father. Ask Steve, he'll tell you."

"You must have a lot on your mind that needs sorting, then. I guess your injury is one of them?"

Danny nodded. "The wound in my back is still open. There's still a bad infection so they haven't closed it up yet. Can you believe I have silver in my back? They say it helps keep the wound from further infection. I can barely pay my bills and I'm walking around with silver in my back."

"I have a collection basket around here somewhere." The priest's dry sense of humor peeked through again.

Danny chuckled. He liked how Fr. Brendan could simultaneously discuss a serious subject and yet keep things light. "I'll keep that in mind." Growing serious again, Danny sighed. "I may never have use of this arm again. I get these nerve attacks in my back that can strike anywhere, anytime and nearly knock me on my, uh, gluteus maximus. Those, I feel. Charlie is confused about what his last name is. Stan's suing me for three years of back child support - and we're talking dollar amounts that not even every paycheck for the rest of my life would pay off. That is, if I even have a paycheck because I can't do my job with just one arm. And now, my girlfriend, well my ex-girlfriend, felt the need to regale me with a list of my character flaws before she dumped me today." _"You are incapable of love."_ He heard the words so clearly in his head that he almost turned to look for Melissa.

"That's quite a list."

"That's the short list." There were so very many things on Danny's mind that he could barely even recite them all.

"There's more?"

" 'There's more?' he asks. There's so much more."

"I'm here if you want to talk."

"But, it's Christmas and…"

"And the Masses are complete for the day and I have nothing to do for a couple hours," Fr. Brendan assured him.

"It may take that long."

"Then maybe you better get started."

"Where do I begin?"

"From the beginning?"

"You mean being born premature and barely making it past the first week?"

"It's your story to share."

"I'll spare you and jump forward a few years."

"Okay. I'm listening. What happened then?"

"That would be when I watched my best friend being pulled under the water by a riptide when we were just kids." Danny paused a long moment. "He never came up again," he added in a reverent whisper.

"May he rest in peace." Fr. Brendan made a silent prayer for the boy who lost his life that day as well as for the boy who lost his innocence and who now sat in front of him troubled and brokenhearted.

Danny nodded, looking up at the crucifix that had once meant so much to him. "Yeah, I hope so. I prayed then, for all the good it did. He's still dead."

"I'm sorry."

"That was a very long time ago."

"I'm still sorry."

Danny nodded in acknowledgment. "Maybe you should sit down." Danny shifted over to give him room before beginning a longer list of the traumas and woes he had suffered and was still suffering and that were currently nagging his brain, not the least of which was Melissa's accusation, "you are incapable of love." Fr. Brendan proved to be an attentive and compassionate listener.

Danny finished up. "Seriously, what the hell…? Oh, sorry Father. I mean, what's the point? Is there a reason for all this? Is there a purpose to all the fu… I mean messed up things that keep happening? Because if you can think of a reason, any reason at all, why my personal universe is so incredibly screwed up, now would be an amazingly good time to tell me, because I really don't understand and I could really use some answers."


	88. Chapter 88

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters besides Fr. Brendan.

A/N I delve a bit into a deep subject here and in some of the next few chapters. Not quite sure why I tackled it other than the fact that I set the story up in such a way that I forced myself to do it. If you disagree or are offended somehow by what I have written, please remember that this is a Fanfiction story written by a purely amateur author for entertainment purposes only. It is not a philosophical or theological work by any means and I have no intention of discussing the merits, or lack thereof, of what I have written.

A/N For those of you who have commented on how much you like Fr. Brendan, thank you. I do too. I give all the credit to the priest friend I have based him on, especially the heart of gold, the dry sense of humor and the crooked grin. I do not, however, attribute any of these words or ideas to him. Don't want to get him excommunicated if I messed something up.

A/N _Parts in italics are Danny's memory._

H50 H50 H50

Fr. Brendan had answers, but not the straight forward, easy answers that Danny so deeply and desperately desired. Not that he didn't try.

" _Ah, the age-old mystery of the universe," Fr. Brendan said in reply to Danny's frustrated, heated, ranting query._

" _So, you don't have any answers either, huh?"_

" _I didn't say that."_

" _Enlighten me."_

Danny had listened intently as the priest had spoken. The priest hadn't used any Latin words or even any fancy English ones but, still, it didn't really help.

 _Danny stared at him in disbelief. "You serious? What ancient tome did you steal that soliloquy from?"_

" _One of the big topics in the seminary." His green eyes twinkled as he smiled._

Danny had then summarized what he thought his priest friend had said and he pretty much had it right – free will, good coming from evil - yet, he wasn't convinced.

" _No disrespect Father, but I think you're wrong."_

" _Enlighten me," he replied with that warm, crooked grin, mimicking Danny's words from earlier in the conversation._

" _Steve says bad things happen to negative people." *_

Fr. Brendan had then proceeded to prove, to Danny's satisfaction anyway, that Steve's theory wasn't exactly accurate because bad things happen to everybody, negative attitude or not. That thought wasn't particularly encouraging in and of itself, but Danny plowed on, then offering the theory that he was being punished for all the bad things he had done in his life.

Fr. Brendan had been quick to try to disprove that theory as well, somehow touching that place in Danny's heart that was really, truly hurting on what was normally a happy day. _"You are incapable of love."_ The words had echoed once again in Danny's head as his friend had spoken, but the edges seemed to have dulled just a bit.

" _Evil exists, Danny," Fr. Brendan had said. "Bad things happen, to good people as well as bad, even to innocent children. Some people seem to get a bigger share of the rough times, sure, but it doesn't mean you did something to deserve it and it surely doesn't mean you should stop loving people, to somehow try and protect them. It's your love and concern that DOES help keep others safe."_

Danny had struggled with the dichotomy of what he had heard that very same day - Melissa accusing him of being incapable of love and Fr. Brendan telling him he shouldn't stop loving; Melissa telling him that he attracted violence (much as Rachel had years earlier) and Fr. Brendan assuring him that he kept people safe. It was difficult to balance the contradictions.

"' _Oh would that God, the gift He give us, to see ourselves as others see us,'" Fr. Brendan told him._

 _Danny quirked an eyebrow at the poetically worded phrase. "That another seminary thing?"_

 _Fr. Brendan laughed. "No. High school literature class."_

 _Danny looked at him askance._

" _The author Robert Burns?" He said it as a question, as if mentioning the name would trigger a recollection for Danny. It didn't._

" _I must have missed that class."_

" _That quote stuck with me from the first moment I heard it. Kind of a nice idea."_

 _Danny turned the thought over in his head – to see himself as others see him. "That's because you're a good person. It's kind of a scary thought to me."_

" _You don't see yourself as a good person? I think you're too hard on yourself."_

" _Even after everything I told you?"_

" _Even after all of that. Especially after all of that. Have you done some things that the church would call sins? Yes. And if you want absolution for them I am willing to give it. You have certainly been contrite and repentant. But every single one of those things was done out of love. And I've seen you with your kids, Danny. Grace adores you and the relationship you have developed with Charlie in less than a year is inspiring. Those kids know they are loved." Fr. Brendan stated his opinion clearly. "And at that pageant last night, you had a whole row of friends by your side."_

" _They came to see my kids," Danny pointed out._

" _Because you have brought them together. They are sharing the love that you show."_

" _And because I promised to feed them afterwards," Danny added with a grin._

" _That always helps," Fr. Brendan agreed with a chuckle. "Look Danny. People lash out when they're angry or hurt or scared, often at whomever is closest. You've been that person for Melissa. I'm sure that deep in her heart she doesn't believe those things she said and I pray that you don't believe them and that someday she will see how wrong she was."_

" _From your mouth to God's ears," Danny replied. It was just a saying, he told himself; it wasn't that he really believed in it._

The conversation had made Danny feel marginally better and he truly appreciated Fr. Brendan's time and effort. Even though it hadn't completely relieved the ache that filled his heart, it had certainly helped. But, it definitely had, however, filled up another chunk of Danny's otherwise very empty and isolated Christmas day. Originally planning to spend a good part of the day with Melissa as she had requested, he was now left with nothing to do and nobody to do it with. His children were with Rachel and Stan, Eric was with Tiffany, and each member of his ohana had their own special plans with their personal loved ones that he was loath to intrude upon. So, he had resigned himself to going home, eating some more leftovers, continuing his ongoing review of the files of paperwork he had accumulated on Gabriel, catching an NBA game or two on television and probably ending up taking a nap. Merry freaking Christmas.

His thoughts strayed to Mindy who was spending the day with her family. He still couldn't believe how that kiss under the mistletoe had made him feel. Yes, he was a man and Mindy was an attractive woman so the kiss would certainly be pleasant but it had been so much more than that. It had seemed so natural, so beautiful, so – right, yet it had left him feeling somehow unsatisfied and unsettled, certain that it would ruin their friendship.

The tall, stocky priest, apologizing that he needed to lock up, pulled him from his musings. "I hope I was some help," Fr. Brendan said as they headed to the door.

"Yes, you were. Thank you," Danny told him sincerely. "Have any special plans for Christmas dinner? You could join me for leftovers and a beer – if you don't mind drinking alone." Danny was still forbidden to drink alcohol.

"That's a very tempting offer but I have even better plans," his friend replied with a mischievous grin.

"What could be better than microwaved leftovers?" Danny joked.

"I'm headed to Manoa Punahou.** There's a soup kitchen there." He smiled broadly, clearly enamored with the work he was undertaking. "Are you familiar with it?"

Danny was quite familiar with soup kitchens, having spent most of his life in poor, urban Newark, NJ. They offered a warm, healthy meal as well as a respite from the extreme New Jersey weather. They also provided a sense of community and belonging, which seemed especially important on holidays like Christmas. Thankfully, he had never had the need to eat in one. He had, however, volunteered to help in soup kitchens many times. His first few times he went with the Boy Scouts. He liked it more than camping that was for sure. When he got kicked out it was one of the things he kind of missed so he volunteered some other times of his own accord and then continued later as a police officer interested in developing a better relationship between the police and the community he served. "Used to help at one back in Jersey sometimes."

"Ah, so you're experienced. You want to join me? You said you had nothing to do and we can always use a hand."

Right now, the thought of falling asleep in front of a basketball game after polishing off a plate full of leftovers sounded mighty appealing to Danny, but he didn't have it in him to say no to people who asked for his help. "Sure, I'm willing to lend a hand," he offered with a grin and a wave of his one working hand.

Fr. Brendan smiled at his friend's self-deprecating humor. "You sure you're up to it?"

"Who told you to ask me that – Steve or my mother?"

HHHH

* I borrowed the line from ep 6.11 "Kuleana" "One's Personal Sense of Responsibility" and used it in chapter 33.

** I don't know if there is a soup kitchen there or not but according to an internet search Manoa Punahou is a name that they use in reference to two Catholic parishes in Honolulu that have merged.


	89. Chapter 89

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters besides Sr. Nancy, Fr. Brendan and Kaniela "Kani".

A/N Sorry it's been over a week between posts. Blame it on a long weekend trip with our youngest with no internet connection, then loads of laundry and other work to do when we got back. I'll try to post the next one this weekend to make up for it.

H50 H50 H50

An hour later, Danny was handed a pair of vinyl gloves and a pair of tongs and positioned at the end of the row behind a heaping basket of dinner rolls. Christmas music was playing, an aroma of good cooking filled the air, a volunteer Santa was suiting up in the back room and all of the servers were getting ready for the doors to be opened. Danny placed the tongs on the table and tried to don the snug fitting glove that all food servers were required to wear. Normally, he was an expert at these but one-handed it just wasn't possible. He looked around for Fr. Brendan but he was in the back helping load the gifts into Santa's sack. Disgruntled, Danny shook his head and blew out his breath. Every minute of every day brought something new that he could no longer do.

Having no other choice, he looked to the helper next to him. He was a young native Hawaiian who appeared to be somewhere on the cusp between teenager and man. Taller than Danny, he appeared to be around Chin's height by Danny's estimate and lean and strong. "You think you could give me a little help? This is impossible one-handed."

"Yeah sure. It's hard enough with two hands," the young man replied as he took the glove and held it open so Danny could slide his hand in.

"Not so tough with a little practice." Danny nodded his head in thanks just as the doors opened and the first guests entered.

"Are you a doctor or something?" the teen asked.

"Me? No." Danny laughed at that thought. He'd seen enough of them lately though.

Kani eyed Danny carefully now. "You a cop?" His voice revealed his uneasiness with the idea.

Surprised that the teen had pegged him for a police officer that quickly, Danny cocked his head slightly, prompting the boy to explain. "Cops wear gloves so they don't mess up the evidence, right?"

"That's right." Impressed with the lad's quick thinking, Danny smiled just as the first guest reached the teenager's station and then stepped over to Danny for the bread.

After conversing amiably with the guests as they proceeded through the line, Danny spoke to him again when there was a short break in the flow. "I'm Danny."

"Really? A cop named Danny. My mom will think that's cool," the teen said with a laugh, that indicated he might not agree wholeheartedly. "I'm Danny too. Well Kaniela actually, but people call me Kani, that's Danny in Hawaiian.

"Which part will your mother think is cool? That I'm a cop or that my name is Danny?"

"Both, I guess," Kani replied with a shrug before they both needed to return their attention back to the resurging line of guests.

At the next break in the line, Kani spoke again with a nod towards Danny's sling encased arm. "What did you do?"

Danny looked down at his arm in the sling, then back up at Kani. "An undercover job went south. I got stabbed."

"Really?" The teen's first reaction was to think that sounded pretty cool, but he quickly sobered as he saw the reality of it.

"Yeah. Your mom might not like that part of it very much." Danny's thoughts went to Rachel and Melissa, neither of whom could handle the dangers of his job. His mother was better about it than either of them, but still she worried constantly.

"Still probably safer than the streets I grew up in."

"Yeah, me too," Danny agreed.

Kani's face showed his surprise at that but he didn't speak of it. "Where'd he stab you?"

Danny shuddered almost imperceptibly. "In my back. Well, unless you meant where we were when it happened. That was in a classroom at the University."

"Oh hey, I saw that on the news. That was you? You're with Five-0? My mom's definitely not going to believe this." As the next wave of guests reached their positions, they stopped talking and began serving food again.

Danny observed the way the teen handled himself with the guests - the respect he showed the older folk, the understated charm he had with the ladies, the amusing banter he shared with the kids. He was duly impressed. When the next lull came around, Danny spoke again. "So, what brings you here on Christmas?"

"It's not really Christmas for me," Kani said. "I'm not a Christian. But my mom thought helping out here was a good way to keep me out of trouble. Been doing this over a year now. Not just on Christmas."

Even further impressed and nodding his agreement, Danny shifted to lean against the wall behind them. He was getting tired. "Your mother sounds like a smart woman. Mine signed me up for every baseball league around to keep me off the streets."

"Baseball huh? Were you any good?"

Danny shrugged. "Played Varsity all four years of high school."

Kani nodded his approval. "What position did you play?"

"Shortstop."

Kani raised an eyebrow but bit off the "short" joke. Shortstop was a tough position and the man was a member of Five-0. His mother would have his hide if he showed disrespect. "Could you hit?" The kid was testing him out though.

"Batted third in the lineup."

Kani was definitely impressed. He knew that the third spot in the order was usually reserved for the best 'pure hitter'. Sweet. "Where was that?" He had haole written all over him, Kani thought.

"Newark, New Jersey."

Yep, haole. "I think I've seen that place on the news a few times."

"Never anything good, I'm sure." *

The teen laughed. "You get a baseball scholarship since you were that good?"

"Got some partial offers." Danny shook his head, remembering. "Scouts told my coach I was too short for college ball."

"That sucks."

"Tell me about it." It still rubbed Danny the wrong way. He had worked hard, harder than any of his teammates to accomplish what he had and it still wasn't enough, simply because of his size. Always underestimated. Never given a chance.

"How'd you do it, then? How'd you get out?" Getting out of a neighborhood like that was not an easy task.

Hard work and prayer his mother always said, but Danny no longer believed in the prayer part. "Hard work, I guess. I worked as hard at school as I did at baseball. Wasn't nearly as much fun, though. My parents wanted something better for me and I never wanted to disappoint them."

"Same with me. I graduate high school this year. Wasn't easy, but I did it. I want to go to college - but there's no money for it." Kani added with a disappointed sigh.

Danny nodded in empathy. "There wasn't for me, either."

"What did you do then? How'd you become a cop?"

"I worked full time and went to school at night. In two years I had my associates. Then the Police Academy and I switched to the night shift at work."

"When did you sleep?" Kani laughed.

Danny shrugged slightly. "When I could."

"Was it worth it?"

Danny nodded. He liked this kid. He seemed smart and intuitive and a deep thinker, despite his initial reticence to speak to a cop. "Half the guys I hung out with back in the day never made it out." Most were in the same blue-collar jobs their fathers had, some were drunks, some were in jail, some were even dead.

"I know what you mean."

The two worked side by side distributing desserts and then Kani spoke up again when the last of the guests had chosen their sweet treat.

"Maybe I should become a cop." The kid sounded only half serious. More than likely, being a cop was not something he had ever thought about before.

Danny smiled, truly believing that this kid had what it would take to make it out and make something of himself, whether that be as a police officer or something else. His mom seemed to be a good, powerful influence and that would help, too. "HPD is a fine department. You ever been to the station?"

"No, I swear!" Kani answered defensively.

"I meant to visit," Danny replied with a laugh, helping to ease the teen's tension. I could show you around sometime if you'd like. Introduce you to some of the guys."

"Thanks. I'm not saying I definitely want to be a cop, but yeah, I might take you up on that. My mom would be thrilled."

"Tell you what. I have a lot of time on my hands these days. You said you want to go to college. How about we look into some scholarship opportunities for you? Do some research, you know? See if we can make it happen." Danny thought maybe he could even write a letter of recommendation if he got to know him better. He'd love to help the boy make it in life.

"Really? You'd do that for me? You hardly know me."

Danny smiled. He trusted his instincts and he had seen quite a bit that impressed him about this kid. "I think I know you well enough."

After the guests had finished their meal and the children had each sat in Santa's lap and received a gift, there was time for music and dancing and chatting and laughter. Danny sat down with Kani while Fr. Brendan, after checking to make sure that Danny was still up to this, made his rounds greeting the guests. Although weary, the injured blond detective found himself wrapped up in the merriment, admiring how people so poor that they needed to come to a soup kitchen to feed their family on Christmas could simultaneously exhibit such joy and gratitude for the little that they did have. It prompted thoughts of his own life – of what he had lost, of what he had gained.

It also made him think of the teen he had just met, with such hopes and dreams for the future despite a difficult upbringing with no real advantages other than his own determination and a mother who loved him and wanted the best for him. His mother could give him nothing besides that love and guidance but it was enough for Kani. Danny thought that maybe, even if he never got the use of his arm back again, that the love and guidance he gave his children could be enough. But then, Melissa's words came back to haunt him again, seering a path through his already stricken heart. _"You are incapable of love."_ _"You're afraid of commitment."_ _"You attract violence." "You'll always be alone."_

Shaking his head, Danny pushed those negative thoughts from his mind and turned back to the celebration again, finding himself singing along with a couple of his favorite Christmas carols.

"So, why did you come here today?" Kani asked Danny as the children around them laughed and played with their new toys and games.

"Fr. Brendan asked if I'd help," Danny answered simply.

"Uh huh," Kani replied, with a look that said 'you know what I meant.' "You obviously adore your kids. I can tell that much by the way you were talking about them. So I don't get it. Why are you here?"

Danny looked at Kani. "The kids are with their mother," he said sadly.

"Oh, that sucks," Kani replied compassionately, understanding the unstated fact that there was a divorce and custody involved. "What about friends? You certainly have friends. I mean, you were ready to help me after knowing me for five minutes."

"It was more like an hour," Danny corrected.

"Okay, after an hour. Somebody willing to do something like that is sure to have friends."

"They're busy with family and girlfriends."

"Meaning, you didn't want to feel like you were imposing on anybody," Kani observed.

"You'd make a good interrogator," Danny told him with a laugh, but as Kani turned back to watching the festivities, Danny mulled over the observations that the boy had just made. He had said it was obvious that Danny adored his kids and had good friends. In his heart, Danny knew that was true. Yet, just a few hours earlier Melissa had vilified him and her words stung him still. _"You are incapable of love. You will always be alone."_

Alone like he was right now - for Christmas, he thought dejectedly.

But then that other part him, the smart part, the intuitive part, the thinking part, the knowing part, the feeling part, the part of him that loved his kids and made good friends – that part of him told him that he wasn't alone this Christmas. That part told him that even if he hadn't video-chatted with his kids, or spoken to Sr. Nancy or Fr. Brendan or Kani, or spoken to and served dinner to a hundred people of all shapes and sizes, even if he sat by himself the entire rest of the day with no contact with another human being, even then, he wouldn't be alone. He had family and friends and ohana, and relationships with people like Steve and Mindy that he couldn't even define, so he would never be alone.

Right now, that part of him was winning and he was able to push Melissa and her lies from his mind - for the moment anyway.

When Fr. Brendan dropped him off back at home, Danny called his parents. He told them all about the children's Christmas pageant the night before, about the surprise decorating that Eric had organized (and that it was the elves who did it if they spoke with Charlie) and about the soup kitchen and Kani. He told them nothing about the enticing and confusing mistletoe kiss with Mindy or of the harsh, hurtful words of Melissa. When his conversation with his parents was finished, he was put on speakerphone so he could hear the cacophony of the entire Williams clan assembled to celebrate Christmas together, his presence over the phone making their day complete.

When that was done he warmed up leftovers in the microwave. Physically and emotionally exhausted, with his plate near full on the end table beside him, he fell asleep in front of the television.

HHHHH

* My apologies to Newark, NJ. No offense intended. The city has much to offer and is working on reducing the high crime rate. I truly respect the Newark police. It must be one of the toughest places to be a cop but they do a fine job. We all know how Danny talks. Remember his line from episode 1.3 (Malama Ka Aina). He said that where he grew up if you got in a fight you went home and double locked your doors because somebody was coming back for you with a gun. That's the image of Newark, NJ that Danny is referring to here.


	90. Chapter 90

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Special thanks to Lunedd for the idea for this chapter. I hope I did her brilliant idea justice.

H50 H50 H50

Letting out a refreshed yawn, Danny rose from the sofa and stretched. He could hear Charlie playing in his room and Grace talking excitedly on the phone in her room. He smiled broadly. He loved his kids. They were his life. There was no greater feeling in the world than when either or both of them hugged him, kissed him, or even just came to speak with him. Each and every moment with them was the greatest blessing. The passenger seatbelt in whatever vehicle he was riding in with Steve was second, but his kids were a clear first.

Stopping in front of Grace's door, he knocked, knowing that the young teen valued her privacy these days and that she had earned his trust to respect that privacy. When she called for him to come in he opened the door and leaned in, holding onto the doorframe. "Merry Christmas, Monkey."

"Merry Christmas, Danno." Grace had a big smile on her face while her hand covered the mouthpiece of her phone.

"Who are you talking to so early in the morning? I'm not surprised your early bird brother is up, but this is middle of the night for you."

"Dannoooo," Grace responded with a drawn out sigh.

"Okay, okay. Do I get a Christmas hug before you finish your call and go back to sleep til noon?" he teased further.

Grace rolled her eyes but grinned widely. "Sure."

Danny stepped into the room and enveloped his beloved daughter in a huge hug. "I love these," she admitted.

"Me too," he seconded.

"Do you think you could help me with my hair?" she asked.

Thrilled that she had asked, Danny glanced at the phone in her hand. "Now?"

"Yeah." She tapped the face of the phone, put it up to her ear and spoke into it. "I have to go. Bye." She looked at Danny as she grabbed the brush and a hair tie off her dresser. "Could you French braid it? I always end up with pieces that won't stay in."

"Whatever you want, Monkey." Danny took the brush from her hand and began the long, intricate process that she had requested as Grace recounted all of the exciting plans her friends had for the Christmas break.

When he was done, Grace hopped off the bed and looked in the mirror. "It looks great, Danno. Thanks. I still don't know how you do it better than anybody else. You can do anything."

"Haven't heard you say that in a while," Danny said with a grin, secretly relishing the adoring praise from his beautiful teenage daughter. "You sure you're not sick?" He touched her forehead with the back of his hand while tickling her in the belly.

"Nope. Not sick," she assured him through her giggles. She never tired of Danny's playful affections.

"I'm going to go check on your brother. What do you want for breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry yet. I ate so much last night." As he made his way out of the room, she called out to him. "Love you Danno."

"Love you more," he said over his shoulder as he left the room and tugged the door shut behind him.

Charlie's room was next and Danny used a different approach. Carefully wrapping his hand around the doorknob, he braced himself on the doorframe and very slowly turned the knob and then eased the door open. Peeking in, he saw Charlie, wearing his firedog pajamas, crawling on the floor rearranging the train tracks, his back to the door. Stealthily, using skills that would have impressed his SEAL partner, Danny eased down to his knees and crawled into the room.

As Charlie reached for another piece of track, Danny grabbed him around the belly and squeezed lovingly tight, eliciting a startled squeak. Danny nuzzled a kiss into his neck as they rolled on the floor, beautiful giggles erupting from the preschooler. Danny allowed the boy to end up on top so he was straddling his father's muscular abdomen. "You scared me, Danno," he said with a pout.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Actually," Charlie said as he sat astride his father, "you suppwised me."

A huge smile spread across Danny's face. First, he loved when Charlie said 'actually'. It was just the cutest thing. Second, he was pleased with the improved, if not perfectly pronounced, word choice. "Was it a good surprise?"

A matching smile spread across the boy's face and he bounced up and down on his dad. "The best! Wanna play trains?"

"Sure! What do you need me to do?" Danny asked, letting his son take the lead in creative play.

"I want to have a bridge and a tunnel and a loop-de-loop," Charlie said, waving his hands to demonstrate, "but it's too hard."

"Well, I don't think anything's too hard if we do it together, right?"

"Right," agreed the lad whole-heartedly.

Still lying on his back, Danny lifted Charlie into the air. "Watch out for flying tigers!"

Charlie roared with unbridled laughter as he spread his arms out wide and pretended he was an airplane; trains momentarily forgotten in the joy of the moment with his father. "Yay! I'm flying!"

Danny then tucked his son into his arm and rolled over to put him flat on the floor, moving to his knees so he could reach and assemble the tracks. "Now, let's see what we can do with these trains."

But the rambunctious blond wasn't done with the exciting part yet and he got up from the floor and jumped on Danny's back. "Piggy-back ride, please Danno?"

Always eager to please his children when he could, Danny rose to his feet and grabbed the boy's legs so he didn't fall off. "Where do you want to go?"

"To the bathroom."

"The bathroom? You better hold it in til we get there, Tiger!" Danny said with a nervous laugh as he quickly hustled out of the room.

After bringing Charlie to the bathroom and then building the train track with him, complete with a bridge, a tunnel and a loop-de-loop, Danny prepared breakfast for the three of them and, after a long leisurely meal where they talked and laughed between bites, Danny then cleaned up and moved to the living room to fold the laundry. Never his favorite task, he was appreciative nonetheless that he could do it. After folding and ironing, Danny put the finished clothes into the children's dressers and then returned to the sofa, Grace sitting in the love seat reading a book and Charlie at his feet playing with his cars. "Who wants to play a game?"

Danny woke to the sound of his own voice. "… play a game?" He was lying on the sofa feeling quite content and rather comfortable but he wasn't sure why. He was in pain all the time these days and, especially after what Melissa had said earlier, was usually sad and depressed. Steve often called him miserable and he had to admit that it was often an apt description – but not right now.

Right now he loved and he was loved, he was happy and content. Totally, completely.

There was a thought, an image, a memory right there at the edge of his awareness. He remembered Grace. Was he doing her hair? She was a teenager now and he hadn't braided her hair in years. Sure, she still asked him to brush it for her, something of an evening ritual, but this was more than that. She was proud of him, but he couldn't remember why. At least, that's what he felt, but he couldn't bring that fleeting image into focus, the memory just out of reach.

Then there was Charlie and he – what was he doing with his son? Playing? Tickling? He thought he could see Charlie above him. Flying? Then it was gone. Almost there one second, completely gone the next.

Damnit. It had been right there, he was happy and content and pain free. He knew he had been, but how? Here he was on his sofa, in pain, incapable of love and destined to be alone, and as far from happy as he had been in two months.

But Danny KNEW what he had felt. Knew he had been blissfully happy just moments before but he had no freaking idea how or why. He felt like he had lost his mind. And he most certainly didn't feel good now. He shifted on the sofa, picked up the remote and turned off the television and as he moved the pain reared its ugly head. He tried to rise and his frigging useless right arm remained strapped across his body. He looked there, half expecting to see Charlie sitting on him. Where had that thought come from?

He wrestled himself into a seated position, still wondering what the hell was going on. It was Christmas day and the kids were here he thought for a moment - but they weren't, were they? "Grace? Charlie?"

The house was dark, quiet. It was Christmas day and he was alone.

He struggled to his feet, pain flaring in his back like it always did when he moved wrong. He looked down and saw his arm encased in the black sling. Wasn't he just using that arm?

Was it truly even his arm? Really? It didn't even feel like a part of him. It was a stranger, maybe even an enemy, a mass of cells, a disgusting growth, something disturbingly wrong attached to his body, feeding off of it like a damned leech. No, he knew what it was – it was a friend who had betrayed him. He had a collection of those.

Bereft, Danny swayed slightly on his feet before dropping back onto the sofa.

He looked at his right arm again. At what was supposedly his arm. If it was really his arm he could feel it, move it, right? Couldn't everybody feel their arm, move it? Yes, they could. Bolstered by this belief, he tried to move his arm - with no success.

He looked at it now, willing it to move, even just the tiniest bit but nothing happened. Nothing at all. Yet, he had been moving it and using it just a short while ago, hadn't he? With Grace? With Charlie? Danny no longer knew what was real and what was not. He leaned over with his left elbow on his knee and his head in his hand. What the hell?

Lifting his head he stared at his right arm and finally, tentatively, he reached his left hand over and touched his right hand hoping for some sensation there… Nothing.

He pressed harder.

Squeezed his fingers

Scratched his wrist.

Pinched his forearm.

Punched his bicep.

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Stunned, Danny abruptly realized that the whole thing had been a dream, a wonderful beautiful dream, and now he had awoken to the nightmare reality that had become his life. He had lived through similar dreams a number of times before but the aftermath of this one particularly sucked. His kids, his life had been with him in this dream; it had been Christmas and they had been so very happy together, that much he knew. But in reality, Grace and Charlie weren't even here. They were with Rachel and Stan feasting on goose, roasted potatoes, Brussels sprouts, pigs in blanket and Yorkshire pudding, if Rachel followed her own tradition.

It was Christmas, yes, but he was alone and incapable of love, with an arm that was completely and utterly and pathetically useless.

Punching his bicep again, just for good measure, Danny put his head back on the sofa cushion and cried.


	91. Chapter 91

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N So sorry that I didn't reply individually to my ever faithful, beloved and deeply appreciated reviewers, and equally sorry that it took me over a week to post again. I have only two words to offer you in my defense – real life. (Pretty sad when you're happy for a blizzard so you can finish writing and post a chapter between rounds of shoveling.)

A/N _Parts in italics indicate Danny's memory._

H50 H50 H50

It was ironic really, considering how much Danny detested cell phones, but right now he was thankful for texting. Choked with pain, both physical and emotional, following his difficult day, Danny's voice would have betrayed him and Steve would have broken land speed records speeding over in his truck of he had heard him speak. The texts, beginning shortly after Danny had made the devastating realization that his overwhelming happiness had all been a fleeting dream, served to keep his pain hidden.

Steve: Hey Danny! Merry Christmas. You home yet?

Danny: Yeah.

Steve: When did you get back?

Danny: About an hour ago.

Steve: So, everything went well?

Danny: Everything is fine. Shouldn't you be wining and dining Lynn instead of pretending you're my mother?

Steve: All done. Now she's sleeping.

Danny: You are one helluva date, Steven. Boring your woman to sleep.

Steve: So, tell me what happened. How did it go?

Danny: Melissa's doing okay.

Steve: What did you do?

Danny: I gave her the gifts.

Steve: Gifts? Plural?

Danny: Yeah. Three.

Steve: Oh yeah, three of them like you do with the kids. You told me about them.

Danny: Startling memory.

Steve: Did she like them?

Danny: Loved them.

Steve: And?

Danny: And… she ate some of the cookies, tried the perfume, put the shirt on.

Steve: Come on. Tell me.

Danny: I just did.

Steve: Danno…

Danny: Don't call me Danno.

Steve: You're deflecting.

Danny: I'm not deflecting.

Steve: Okay, so tell me.

Danny: Not much to tell.

Steve: So, tell me what there is to tell. Are you going to see her again?

Danny: No.

Steve: It took you a while to answer that. Are you sure?

Danny: Totally. It takes me a while to type one-handed.

Steve: It took you longer to type the 'no' than to type that last text.

Danny: You're timing me now?

Steve: Stop being a pain in the a* and tell me.

Danny: There's nothing to tell.

Steve: You want me to come over and talk?

Danny: Like some girl's sleepover? We gonna do a mani and pedi and sip hot chocolate?

Steve: You're annoying.

Danny: You're not the first person to tell me that.

Steve: Won't be the last, either, pal.

Danny: Probably not. Look Steve, go back to Lynn and we'll talk tomorrow, okay? Everything's fine.

Steve: You sure you're okay?

Danny: How many times are you going to ask me that?

Steve: Okay, okay. Gracie and Charlie called me to say Merry Christmas.

Danny: They tell you about all the presents they got? Charlie got 27! 27 presents.

Steve: Yeah, he told me.

Danny: I can't compete with that.

Steve: You compete just fine. You know what he told me? He said that he couldn't wait to go back to Danno's to play with the train set and Pie Face with you.

Danny: Really?

Steve: Yeah. What is Pie Face anyway? He asked me to come play, too.

Danny: Oh, you'll love it. You get to make a big mess with whipped cream.

Steve: Nice. Can't wait.

Danny: Of course not. Neanderthal.

Steve: Grace sent me a picture of her wearing the bracelet you gave her. Said she doesn't intend to ever take it off.

Danny: I'm glad she liked it.

Steve: Of course she liked it. She said she always likes the gifts you give her.

Danny: You trying to cheer me up? I don't need cheering up.

Steve: Just sharing.

Danny: Okay, Mr. Rodgers.

Steve: Oh hey, Lynn's waking up from her nap. I'll come over in the morning.

Danny: Normal people time, huh Steven?

Steve: I'll bring breakfast.

Danny: No tree bark!

The short texting session with his best friend had helped Danny pull himself together and he managed to pick up the dirty dishes from his barely eaten, warmed-up leftover Christmas dinner, dump the remains (which was 90% of what he started with), rinse the dishes and put them in the sink. He was watching another basketball game when there was a knock at the door.

"I'm fine Mom," he shouted, thinking it was Steve, but he got up and went to answer it anyway.

"I don't think Clara can hear you," Lou told him with a straight face as Danny swung the door open.

"I thought you were Steve," Danny answered, as if that explained everything.

"Oh, okay," Lou replied, understanding completely, as Danny let him into his house. "I came bearing gifts."

The bag Lou held up was emitting the most amazingly delicious aroma and it was apparent to Danny that Lou's wife had cooked and sent him leftovers. "Renee is a goddess. I don't know how you managed to get her to marry you."

"I love her, she loves me," Lou said with a cocky smile.

Still reeling from both the dream and Melissa's hurtful declarations, the words felt like a knife to Danny's heart. Following his usual pattern, however, he hid his feelings behind a sarcastic retort. "Sounds more like Barney the dinosaur."

"Don't mock it til you try it, Jersey," Lou joked.

Desperately needing to change the subject, Danny reached for the bag. "And what sweet ambrosia hath Edesia sent to this mere mortal?"

"Huh? Who?" Lou's brow wrinkled with confusion.

"Edesia, the Roman goddess of feasting. Don't you ever read?"

"I read all the time."

"I'm not talking about the comics, Lou. I mean real reading, like books." Danny set the bag on the table, opened it and looked inside. "Forget it. It smells amazing. Whatcha got here?"

Lou explained, in highly explicit, mouth-watering detail, the amazing wonders of food that Renee had prepared and it almost left Danny's stomach growling, probably would have if the aftermath of his dream hadn't left him feeling like he was going to vomit.

"I just finished eating so I'll save this for tomorrow," he said smoothly as he put the dinner items back in the bag and, at Lou's insistence, left the large two-thirds of a chocolate pecan pie on the table. He then picked the bag up and headed to the kitchen to put the food in the fridge.

"Bring two forks!" Lou shouted after him.

Danny returned with the requested two forks, plus two cups nestled in his sling. In his left hand was a large jug of milk.

"I like how you think, Williams," Lou complimented with a smile, as he saw the milk that Danny was carrying.

They shared small talk as they shared the pie. Lou did most of the eating but Danny managed enough that Lou didn't notice his lack of appetite. Lou also did most of the talking and if there was anyone who could rival Danny in the talking department, it was Lou so Danny's reserved attitude wasn't even noticed. Danny tried to stay focused on what Lou was saying – something about Will and baseball tryouts – but Melissa's voice kept getting in the way _"You only think of yourself."_

"You listening to me Williams?" Lou asked loudly.

"Uh yea, sure. Sorry Lou." _"I was not a priority to you."_

"So, you think you can help Will with his swing?"

Danny looked at his arm. "Uh, well, I could take a look at it. Watch him take some batting practice. Not a whole lot of practical help, I'm afraid."

"Just need your expertise. I was more a football type myself."

"Let me guess – offensive tackle?"

"You got it," Lou answered proudly as he polished off the last large hunk of the delectable pie as if to prove his worthiness for the position. "Two years on Varsity."

Most times, Danny would have made a snarky comment, pointing out that he had started on Varsity baseball all four years but not today. Instead, Danny's thoughts began to stray again. _"You'll always be alone."_ He wanted to talk about it, get it off his chest, have someone swear to him that none of it was true, but he couldn't talk to Lou about it. Lou wouldn't understand. He had a loving wife, and a really good, strong marriage. No, Lou wouldn't get it. Lou would feel bad for him, sure, but Danny really, really didn't want Lou's pity. "Don't you need to get back to your family?" Danny asked, forcing himself back to the present. "It's Christmas. A man should be with his family on Christmas." _"You will always be alone."_

"I left them doing dishes," Lou said with a wickedly proud smile. "Told them I needed to do my good deed for Christmas."

"I'm your charity case? Thanks Lou."

"I wanted to talk to you, Danny," Lou began, turning uncharacteristically serious, which immediately caught Danny's attention.

"What is it?"

"Renee said I should keep my mouth shut…"

"What's going on?" Danny pressed, nervously.

"But, I think as a dad that you'd want to …"

The moment Lou said 'dad' Danny sat bolt upright in his seat, ignoring the flair of pain. "What the hell is going on? What about my kids?"

"Relax man, just relax."

"Don't tell me it's about my kids and then tell me to relax, Lou," Danny growled, visibly bristling at the remark.

"Okay, okay, look, it's not anything to worry about, but yesterday I went out back and saw Grace there. She was crying."

Danny deflated. The anxious anger that had swelled up at Lou's first remark was replaced with a crushing sadness. He knew what she was crying about without Lou even telling him. A part of him hoped that Nahele or some other boy had broken her heart but he knew that wasn't the case. He remained uncharacteristically silent as Lou proceeded to speak. His gaze, while it appeared to be examining the carpet beneath his feet, saw nothing.

"She told me how you always played Santa for her. She said she didn't know it was you at first but somewhere over the years she figured it out. She said you were a terrific Santa and that sitting on your lap was the best feeling in the world. She said even when she knew that you knew that she knew that it was really you pretending to be Santa, you still donned that suit and played the role, just for her. And she said she knew you'd keep on doing it as long as she wanted.

"She told me how Santa comes to Rachel's house at night while they sleep and how they get all kinds of expensive, fancy gifts there." Lou paused for a moment, hoping that Danny would say something or make some sarcastic comment. Hoping even, that he'd at least look up. But Danny continued to silently stare a hole in the carpet and so Lou went on. "She said you always gave the best gifts. Even when it was something she didn't ask for, she still loved it. She said she loved seeing how happy your eyes looked when you played Santa. That was missing this year, for her and for Charlie."

Lou paused again when he heard Danny's pained intake of breath, expecting him to start speaking, but again he was wrong, as Danny remained stubbornly mute. "Renee said it would make you sad to know that Grace was crying about you. But I figured you already know how sad she feels about all of this." Lou waved his hand towards Danny's arm.

"But I wanted you to know something that dads need to hear because we just don't always know it, even if we should. Grace knows how much you love her. All this stuff – your arm, those nerve attacks, the infection, the lawsuit, the job and whatever else you got messing with your life – none of that stuff really matters. Not in the big picture. You can deal with it. You can handle it. What's important is that Grace loves you and she knows how much you love her. Charlie, too. Those kids know how much you love them - and that's all that matters."

Danny didn't reply and Lou wondered if maybe Renee had been right after all.


	92. Chapter 92

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N So sorry this has taken so long to post. A co-worker is out on leave and so I have needed to take on more hours and more work. Plus, I will be taking an overseas trip mid- April, which takes some preparation now and will take me away from my personal pc for nearly three weeks when it occurs. Throw in taking care of my 90 year old dad and taking care of my family. So, I will try my best to keep up my weekly postings until I go away and then will try to battle the jetlag to resume and maintain them again upon my return.

A/N _Words in italics are Danny's memories._

H50 H50 H50

Lou left not long after telling Danny of his encounter with Grace in Danny's own backyard on Christmas Eve. Lou had been sorry that he had put such a damper on his friend's Christmas day but Danny had waved off any attempts at apologizing. The sturdy blond had assured his large friend that he appreciated knowing his daughter's state of mind and valued Lou's words about his children knowing how much he loved them. Danny's tough guy act in full form, Lou never knew the extent of the tortured turmoil that lingered beneath the gracious surface.

It was no surprise, however, that Danny didn't sleep well that night. It had been a very long and trying Christmas day. When he arose on the 26th, he could scarcely believe that the breakfast of leftovers with the mongoose in his backyard had been just the previous morning. So much had happened since then. The visit with Melissa that had turned disastrous resulting in him getting unceremoniously dumped, started it all. Then the car ride with Sr. Nancy who obviously knew he was hurting but didn't want to pry. The conversation with Fr. Brendan, who was probably sent by Sr. Nancy, followed that. Intense and philosophical, the discussion had helped Danny to understand that Melissa was wrong; she was simply lashing out through her own pain and confusion. That knowledge, however, couldn't erase the ache her words had left in his heart.

The next few hours at the soup kitchen had allowed his frazzled mind and broken heart a temporary reprieve of some sort but those hours had definitely been physically demanding on his struggling body. Perhaps the worst part of his day had followed, when he fell asleep on the couch and dreamed of using his arm again. The resultant frustrating inability to remember the details of the dream and the excruciating realization that his back still hurt and his arm was still totally useless had been breathtakingly painful, leaving him feeling achy, raw and totally spent. The unexpected visit from Lou to end the day had been mildly uplifting but even more so upsetting. The thought that he was the cause of Grace's emotional anguish was agonizing.

Coming full circle, the moment his head had hit the pillow, the visit with Melissa at the hospital - the one where he had been dumped and disparaged - came back to him in vivid, high-definition, surround-sound, Technicolor detail, despite the comforting effects of his conversation with Fr. Brendan.

" _You used me."_

" _I was not a priority to you."_

" _You even put your work before me."_

" _I was just a warm body for your bed."_

" _You're afraid of commitment."_

" _You attract violence."_

" _You'll always be alone."_

" _You are incapable of love."_

The lack of proper sleep after a long day had left Danny struggling to get out of bed in the morning so he was dressed only in shorts and a short sleeve button-up, still unbuttoned, when his partner arrived. With his right arm hanging at his side and the sling in his left hand, he stepped out of his bedroom as Steve came in the front door. Greetings followed as Steve spread the breakfast he purchased out on the table while Danny put the sling down and slowly buttoned his shirt.

Steve was tempted to intervene and take over the slow process with his quick precision but he knew how much even the tiniest bit of independence meant to his ailing best friend whose life had been besieged by mounting trials and tribulations. Pushing his control freak nature aside, he gathered up plates and flatware instead.

"You gonna get over here and help me or just stand there and pretend I can get this thing on in no time flat," Danny barked in a sarcastic tone once he had managed to button his shirt. He picked up the sling and waved it in the air between them for emphasis.

Knowing that the tone and attitude were just a cover for the frustration and embarrassment that Danny was really feeling, Steve played along with the banter as he helped Danny into the sling. "I didn't come over to change your diaper and get you dressed you know."

"I hate this damn thing." Sidestepping the banter, Danny went straight to the point.

Steve nodded in agreement but turned things back to a gentler topic. "If you'll stop whining about it, at least we can have a nice breakfast together."

"What did you bring anyway? Don't tell me it's some health shake made from raw eggs and pineapple."

Upon Danny's return to banter, Steve hesitated, but purely for dramatic purposes.

"Steven!?"

"Give me a second. I'm the one dressing you, remember?"

"You're not dressing me. What the hell did you bring for breakfast?"

"Oatmeal and fruit. You have cinnamon and brown sugar, right?" Steve asked, knowing the answer would be yes as he pressed the last Velcro strap into place.

When they finally sat down to eat, Steve didn't waste any time. "So, tell me how it went yesterday."

"Went okay," Danny replied vaguely, taking a bite of the brown sugar and cinnamon topped oatmeal. He was becoming so adept with his left hand that the blueberries didn't even slide off the spoon.

"And?" Steve prodded, tasting his similarly topped oatmeal.

"This oatmeal is delicious. Good choice."

"Yeah, thanks. So, go on."

Danny quickly diverted the subject matter as he continued to tuck into the steaming breakfast. "I helped Fr. Brendan at the soup kitchen."

"You were going to see Melissa."

"I did. After that I went to the soup kitchen."

"But…"

But Danny wouldn't let him speak, wouldn't let him go _there_. He wanted a safer topic, something that made him feel good, not like a discarded piece of gum, chewed up and spit out on the pavement to be trampled underfoot, getting stuck on shoes and cursed for being there. "It was amazing, Steve. These people, they have so little, you know? I mean, they're eating Christmas dinner at a soup kitchen, their kids are getting presents donated by strangers and yet they seem to have such hope, such joy for life. You should have seen them singing Christmas carols. It was really nice. Worked at a soup kitchen in Newark sometimes. Same thing. Not everybody, you know, but some have such hope. You ever work in a soup kitchen?"

"No."

"You should. We can do it together sometime, if you want."

"Okay," Steve agreed, "but…"

"There's this one kid I met there. His name is Kani," Danny said, rerouting the subject again as he ate.

"That means Danny in Hawaiian."

"Yeah, he told me. So, Kani graduates high school this year. He was helping out. Says his mother makes him do it to keep him out of trouble, but you could just see the kid enjoyed it. He was good, too, with the people. Says he might want to be a cop."

"Let me guess. He wants to grow up to be just like you?" Steve asked with mock incredulity.

Danny rolled his eyes. "Bite me. I told him I'd show him around HPD sometime. You know, introduce him to some people. He was really excited. I think I'll bring him around the Palace, too. Not exactly the same mood as the station, but he'll probably be amazed by the Tech table."

"You done?"

Trying his best to not discuss Melissa, Danny wasn't done. "No. We need to show him the interrogation room in the basement, too. What do you think? He'd like that, right?"

"I think I don't even know the kid and I think you're avoiding the subject."

"I'm not avoiding the subject. I told you it went okay. I told you I won't be going back." Anything else was just way too embarrassing to discuss. He had spoken with Fr. Brendan. He felt okay about things - sort of. That was enough - in a way. It had to be. Anything else was way too humiliating.

"So, you broke it off?"

"It's over," Danny replied vaguely.

"I'm proud of you, buddy. How did you end up telling her?"

Completely unbidden, totally unwanted, Melissa's words came pounding back in Danny's ears. _"You are incapable of love."_ As the words echoed in his head, Danny was unable to speak. Stomach revolting, he pushed his bowl away and tossed the spoon inside, yet stared at it as if it were about to move. "It's just over, okay? Over."

"Hey, hey. I thought you said it went okay," Steve asked. He suddenly remembered Lou's passing comment that Danny seemed exceptionally subdued when he visited yesterday with leftovers from Renee. Lou had chalked it up to Danny being overly tired (not wanting to break Danny's trust by speaking of the incident with Grace to Steve). With Lou's comment in mind and Danny's behavior this morning in front of him, Steve resultantly realized that Danny had been putting on a pretty good act for both of them. Things weren't nearly as 'good' as Danny was making them out to be.

"Yeah, yeah I did," Danny replied.

"So, tell me about it."

"There's really nothing to tell. It's over. Done. Put a fork in it."

"That's what you wanted, isn't it?" Steve asked, wondering if maybe Danny had changed his mind now that it was done. "For it to be over?"

"Yeah."

"Then why did you just push that bowl away as if it were about to kill you?"

"I'm not hungry."

"People can hear your stomach growling from miles away buddy, try again."

"It's not very good."

"You just said it was delicious."

"It's cold."

"I can still see the steam rising off of it. Come on buddy, talk to me."

The words were sounding in Danny's ears all over again. _"You used me. You'll always be alone. You are incapable of love."_

"Talk to me," Steve pressed.

"Lou came over yesterday," Danny started. Steve didn't know what that had to do with Melissa, but he let it go for now. "Told me that Grace had been outside crying on Christmas Eve."

"Aw, man." Steve winced in empathy even as he felt perturbed at Lou for not telling him the whole story. He was Danny's best friend. Lou should have told him everything.

"She was upset about my arm, about never using it again."

"Of course she's upset. You're her father and she loves you. She just has to let it out sometimes. It's healthy."

Danny looked at him and couldn't help but allow a bit of his usual snark to slip through. "This coming from someone with the emotional capacity of a mongoose?"

"A mongoose?" That was new. "She'll be okay, Danny." Steve was sure of that so he quickly turned back the topic, thinking that the news of Grace crying was what had him so bothered. "So now, tell me about Melissa."

"I had a dream," Danny stated flatly.

"Huh?"

"A dream. You know – thoughts, images, pictures that go on in your head while you sleep."

"I know what a dream is Danny. So, you dreamed about Melissa?"

"No. I had a freaking dream that I could use my arm just fine and I lifted my son and braided my daughter's hair…" At least he thought that's what had happened in the dream. The images were all so frustratingly vague now.

"You braided Gracie's hair?"

"I've braided her hair a thousand times Steven, you know that," Danny retorted, voice rising and speed increasing. "But it was a dream, a freaking dream but then it couldn't have been a dream. It was too damn real to be a dream. It was REAL I know it. But I can't f*%#ing use my arm now can I, so it couldn't have been real either, so I don't know what the hell is going on."

Steve had a bit of a hard time following what Danny was saying but he had the general idea because Danny had told him of dreams like this a couple times before. They always left his partner unnerved but never quite this terribly shaken. He didn't quite know what to say, so he went automatically to their typical banter. "I don't even know what the hell you just said."

"Forget it. It shouldn't bother me, you know. It was a dream just like the other freaking dreams; just that, a dream. This is reality," he said, pointing at his right arm. "My new reality - no right arm, no job, no girlfriend." _"You will always be alone." "You attract violence."_ Once again, the words bounced around in his head.

"Your arm is still there and it's going to work again. You keep telling me that, right, so it must be true. Danno's 100% guarantee. And you'll always have a place with Five-0. As Lou says, you're the brains behind the brawn and you still have your head intact so you still have a job. As for a girlfriend, you sure things are done with Melissa?" Steve knew something was off with Danny but he just couldn't figure out what.

"Damn sure."

"Maybe Mindy…"

Danny's eyes went to the mistletoe and his thoughts went to the kiss he shared with Mindy beneath it. A part of Danny wanted to tell Steve about the kiss. A part of him wanted to tell Steve what Melissa had said, desperately wanted to tell him. He wanted somebody, somebody he trusted implicitly, to tell him that he hadn't ruined his friendship with Mindy, and that Melissa was wrong, so very, very wrong. But, the other part of him was absolutely horrified, mortified, ashamed and completely crushed by what he had done and by what she had said. His brain told him that the kiss with Mindy was a simple, platonic, tradition kiss. His brain told him that what Melissa had said wasn't true, but some part of him still believed that it was. It was too embarrassing, too humiliating to speak about, even to Steve. No, this was something he was going to have to deal with by himself. "I don't want to talk about Melissa or Mindy. Why can't you understand that?" Danny replied softly, too softly.

Steve looked at his friend. "Fine. Fine. We don't have to talk about it. Let's just eat." He nudged Danny's bowl back in front of him and then scooped up a mouthful from his own bowl. He wasn't planning to drop the subject; he was just going to wait Danny out. Danny always talked. He was sure this would be no exception.

They sat in deafening silence, as Steve ate and Danny nibbled. Steve knew there was much more bothering Danny than word of Grace's temporary crying jag or the fallout from another of those hauntingly realistic dreams. Things were over with Melissa, which is what Danny wanted, but something wasn't right. Steve had seen Danny in just about every mood and situation possible over the years they had known each other. He had seen him anxious, angry, hurt, confused, desperate, terrified and so many other things but now, for the first time since he'd met him even through all the crap life had thrown at him recently, Danny looked - broken.

As time dragged on and Danny didn't speak Steve began to wonder if he ever would. Usually decisive and assertive when dealing with things, even aggressive when it came to dealing with Danny, Steve found himself uncertain how to proceed.

Still not saying a word, or even daring a glance at Steve, Danny eventually picked up his bowl of take-out oatmeal and unceremoniously dumped it in the trash. He was listless and lethargic and wanted nothing more than to crawl in bed and stay there forever. But, life didn't work that way. He had a best friend standing right beside him dumping his empty cardboard bowl on top of Danny's not even half finished one.

"That was really good, huh?" Steve asked, trying to get Danny to speak.

"Yeah. Thanks," was all he got back.

"You have more coffee?"

Danny silently pointed to the half empty coffeepot.

Steve refilled his mug. "You want some?"

Danny's negative shake of his head was barely noticeable.

"You want me to leave?" Steve now asked. He didn't really want to leave and, to be honest with himself, had no intention of leaving, but he hoped his blatant question would cause a stir. It didn't - not really.

Danny took a deep, shuddering breath and let it out in a huff. "You just poured yourself a big mug of coffee. Only place you might be going is the can." Danny's voice was detached, emotionless, no touch of humor or sarcasm whatsoever.

Steve couldn't even quirk a smile at the very Danny-like comment because the presentation was all wrong, so un-Danny-like. With no clue what to say or do, Steve tried the straightforward approach again. "Talk to me, buddy."

Danny stared at him hard as a war waged inside him, so desperately wanting to talk about what Melissa had said and so desperately unwilling to share those humiliating and hurtful words. His phone rang from where it rested on the table and he used it as an excuse to escape the situation, snatching it up off the table and answering without even looking at the number flashing on the screen. "Williams," he said before a soft exclamation escaped his lips. "Melissa?!"


	93. Chapter 93

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I wish I had time to go over this before I post but sleep is at a premium these days so I need to just let it go and post.

A/N _In this chapter, the parts in italics are what's being heard over the phone._

H50 H50 H50

"Melissa?" Steve asked, astonished, as beside him Danny held the phone to his ear. "I thought you broke up?"

" _Danny, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry,"_ Melissa sobbed through the line, her next words unintelligible.

Danny wanted to hush Steve because he was louder than Melissa's quivering voice on the other end of the line, but he couldn't wave him off because his one working hand was holding the phone. Turning his back to Steve he tried to listen. Part of him was screaming to hang up on her, but he just couldn't do that. He thought of his conversation the day before with Fr. Brendan and the priest's prayer that Melissa would see that she was wrong. Could it be? "Melissa, calm down, huh? Okay, just calm down."

"You said everything was okay," Steve said, approaching Danny's side.

" _I shouldn't have said those things. I'm sorry, I'm sorry…,"_ Melissa rambled at the same time as Steve spoke.

Danny turned further away from Steve, still trying to listen to the phone. "Melissa…"

"What is she saying? What's going on?" Steve asked, pressing in closer, beginning to realize that, once again, Melissa was the key to the devastation he was witnessing in his partner.

"Shut up!" Danny growled at Steve.

" _I should go,"_ Melissa sobbed.

Keeping his back to his partner, he softened his tone as he spoke into the phone.

"No, no. I didn't mean you, doll. I was talking to Steve."

" _I can't blame you for wanting me to shut up."_

"No, really. It was Steve. He's right here." Danny shot a look at Steve who returned it with a worried look of his own, hands up in a questioning gesture.

" _You must be so angry with me."_

"No, I'm not angry," Danny said into the phone, ignoring Steve as best he could. Although at times he had to remind himself that Melissa was a victim suffering from the effects of severe traumas, he didn't feel anger towards her. Hurt, humiliated, offended, mortified, affronted and insulted – yes, but not quite angry.

"Why would you be angry with her?" Steve asked now, confused why Danny would be angry when he was the one who had done the breaking up.

" _I'm really sorry, Danny. I took everything out on you. That was so unfair."_

Unfair didn't begin to cover it, but Danny didn't say that, too concerned with Melissa's regret and too distracted by Steve's persistent interruptions which were difficult to ignore. "It's okay, you…" Tensing, he stalled, unsure what to say.

"What did she do?" Noticing Danny's increased stress at whatever Melissa was saying, Steve reached around and grabbed Danny's good shoulder to turn him back around.

Having grown up a fighter and currently being at the end of his emotional rope, Danny instinctively shoved at Steve, Melissa's next words lost in the process along with the phone that slipped from his hand and clattered to the floor right at Steve's feet.

" _Danny? Danny?"_ came the voice through the phone on the floor as Danny gasped at the flair of pain in the open wound in his back.

Steve picked the phone up, realizing that Danny needed a moment to ride out the discomfort.

" _Danny? Are you there?"_

Steve put the phone to his ear. "Hi Melissa," he said into the phone while he pulled a chair over and then spoke again. "Danny, sit down." He eased Danny into the chair.

" _Steve? Is that you? Is Danny alright?"_

"That depends on your definition," Steve replied, his steadying hand on Danny's shoulder.

" _You must think I'm a monster."_

Steve was startled. "Why would I think that?"

" _For what I told him. It was awful of me. I called to apologize."_

Steve handed his best friend a glass of water as he spoke into the phone again.

"Huh?" He didn't know what she was talking about.

Time stood still.

Steve had the worst poker face in the world and Danny was extremely good at reading people, especially a certain Neanderthal animal partner, so Danny knew the precise moment that Melissa shared her awful, hurtful words with him. He could see it in Steve's face, in the way his eyes widened, his brow furrowed and his mouth formed an O. Aneurism face. He saw it, he knew it and he hated it – with a passion.

Danny's eyes widened in shock. "Give me the phone," he demanded coldly, putting the glass on the table and rising from the chair.

Steve, who had simply had Danny's best interests at heart, now completely understood why his best friend had appeared so utterly broken but also understood that his interference had added to Danny's humiliation. Saddened at the former and regretful about the latter, he handed Danny the phone and gently pushed him back into the chair as Danny returned to the call.

"Melissa?"

" _Danny, what happened? Are you okay?"_

"I'm fine. I just dropped the phone. I try to do too much sometimes."

" _Are you sure you're okay?"_

"Would I lie to you?" Physically he was okay, well as okay as a man with a hole in his back and no use of his arm could be. Emotionally was another story, one that Danny wasn't discussing right now.

" _No. No you wouldn't."_

"I'm glad you know that," Danny retorted, allowing some of his pain to show through before he closed his eyes to try and collect himself yet again.

" _I'm sorry Danny. I… well, I still have some things I need to work out."_

He hurt like hell and he wasn't totally convinced that Melissa didn't mean what she had said, but he knew that her actually saying them was a part of the PTSD she was suffering. Agitation, irritability and hostility were all common symptoms of PTSD and Melissa was still dealing with all of them. He thought about what Fr. Brendan had told him, about being merciful when others hurt us. It looked like the priest's prayer had worked he thought, so maybe his advice would also. "I understand."

" _You do? You don't hate me?"_

"No, I don't hate you." It was true. He didn't hate her. He did, however, hate her now-deceased ex-husband who had abused Melissa and knocked Danny out and stabbed him in the gut, and the man who had stabbed Danny in the back whose collective actions had traumatized Melissa and pushed her over the edge. His capacity for mercy only went so far.

Arms crossed, Steve stood in respectful silence, while Danny spoke with Melissa, calming her down, assuring her that things would be all right, promising that he didn't hate her. Steve wasn't sure he could say the same for himself. As the conversation came to an end, he couldn't help but admire the unfailing loyalty and capacity for forgiveness that were hallmarks of his best friend's character.

" _Good bye, Jersey."_

"Good bye, Melissa."


	94. Chapter 94

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

H50 H50 H50

Heaving out a hearty sigh, Danny tossed the phone onto the table, causing it to skitter across the top and clatter to the floor. Life got more screwed up by the minute it seemed and he was near to bursting with the pain, frustration, humiliation and anxiety of it all.

Steve, for his part, had been chomping at the bit, anger simmering just below the surface. It had gone against every fiber of his being to remain quiet while Danny carried on that conversation with Melissa. He could not believe the audacity she had to say the things she had said to Danny and while he admired his best friend's fierce loyalty, he couldn't help but feel that Melissa didn't deserve it. He wanted to tell Danny all the things that he thought he should have said to her but he battled internally to keep his mouth shut. Just this once, he knew that he needed to let Danny take the lead in this upcoming conversation. For a moment, he was afraid that Danny might shut him out and continue the front he had been putting on before the call – speaking without really saying anything important.

Picking up the phone, Steve placed it on the table when Danny rose from the chair and turned on him. "Are you happy now?" Danny asked.

"Happy?" Steve had no idea where that question was coming from. How could he be happy after what he had just witnessed?

"Jovial, jocular, delighted, exultant. Whatever the hell you want to call it, you're as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine."

That was a new one for Steve. He was amazed at how Danny could pull phrases and colloquial expressions out at a moment's notice. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know all my f*%$ing secrets now, Steven. That's control freak euphoria," Danny growled.

"I knew all your secrets before. What's the problem?" Steve took the bait and gave a quick retort.

"What's the problem? What the hell is the matter with you, huh?" Visibly vibrating with pent up emotions, Danny was nearly bouncing in place, despite his fatigue. "I know you have a tough time understanding boundaries and the very complicated topics of personal property and privacy but driving my car is one thing, taking my phone and butting in on a private conversation is quite another. You are a control freak who must know what's going on in my life at all times but needing to know what I had for breakfast or when my kids will be here is acceptable, intruding into a very private and very personal conversation is not. Boundaries, Steven. Rules of civilized society, remember? They are what separate us from the jackals and the hyenas. Sound familiar?"

Steve was pleased that Danny had let go with that little rant. He knew that rants were good for Danny - his own, patented coping mechanism. Plus, if Danny was ranting then he was talking and communicating rather than building walls. "I'm sorry," he replied when Danny finished, "and if you had let me speak you could have saved your breath for the past ten minutes." He finished with a bit of their typical banter to take the edge off of his friend's heated embarrassment and pain.

Danny completely deflated now, all the fight just knocked right out of him and he dropped back into the chair. "Apology accepted."

Steve picked up his now cold mug of coffee and silently dumped it down the drain before pouring himself another cup. "So, you and Melissa are done, right?" The sign-off had sounded like a final goodbye to Steve but he had to be sure.

"Like an overcooked roast," Danny retorted.

"You okay with that?"

"Perfectly okay." Add another failed relationship to his list.

"Good. In a relationship, you should bring out the best in each other."

"Thank you, Ann Landers. You learn that from all of your successful relationships?" Danny asked sarcastically.

"No," Steve admitted, "I learned that from all my failed ones."

"We're just a bastion of dysfunctional relationships."

Steve nodded and leaned back against the counter and took a sip. "I don't know how you spoke to her so calmly."

"Because I'm not a Neanderthal."

"I didn't know you even knew how to do calm," Steve teased.

"You can leave now," Danny told him in lieu of a response and with a dismissive wave of his left hand.

"No, I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I know how to be a friend. It's what separates us from the jackals and the hyenas," he replied with smirk as he settled in a chair caddy-corner to Danny and sipped his coffee.

"Bite me. I'm going to bed," Danny said, but remained where he was seated.

"It's 10 in the morning."

"I don't care what time it is. My pillow and blanket are calling me."

"You can't deal with the problem if you pretend it doesn't exist."

"That's quite profound. Friedrich Nietzsche would be impressed. But I don't have a problem. Well, actually, I do have a problem. My only problem is you butting into my business."

"You already forgave me for that so it doesn't count."

"Perfect, then I don't have a problem and you can leave." Danny pointed to the door for emphasis.

"I told you, I'm not leaving. You need me right now whether you admit it or not."

"Hate to break it to you, Steven," Danny said, shaking his head, "but I can manage just fine without you."

"Oh yeah, that's why you want to crawl back into bed and take a nap with your blankie."

"No, I want to go to bed because I didn't sleep well last night."

"And why didn't you sleep well last night?"

"Now you're Dr. Phil?" Danny shouted, hand waving for emphasis. "I have a freaking hole in my back. You try sleeping like that."

"She's wrong you know," Steve said, ignoring both Danny's rhetorical question and his attempt at diversion and finally deciding to get straight to the point.

"Please, just let it go, Steven." Danny pleaded, teeth clenched. He really didn't want to go there.

"No! Look, I get it. A thousand people can tell you good things but it only takes one person questioning your character to get stuck in your head."

Danny looked at Steve and heaved a hefty sigh. Steve was right, completely right, but that didn't mean he felt the sting of her words any less. You feel the pain of one bullet more clearly and much longer than the warmth of a thousand hugs. "She said I was incapable of love, Steve!" Danny shouted at Steve in angry pain.

Steve was happy that Danny had shared that with him, even if it was a reflexive growl more than anything else. He had heard it from Melissa but Danny saying it out loud was different. He knew how Danny worked. He needed to let it out to release the tension. "You are capable of love, Danny. Many people can attest to that."

"Fine, okay. I believe you. 'How do I love thee, let me count the ways'* and all that crap. Now, let's just stop talking about it."

Steve ignored him and went on. "I can attest to it myself, Danno."

"I said I believe you, okay?" Danny replied with a tone of exasperation.

"You don't sound very convincing."

Maybe that's because Danny wasn't truly convinced. "I don't want to do this now," Danny told him, squeezing his temples as he felt a headache coming on.

Steve continued to ignore his request and pressed on with the point he was trying to make. "And your kids. Man, you're the kind of father the rest of us wish we had. You love them with every fiber of your being. You keep them close. Everything you do, you put them first."

Danny sighed, not wanting to have this discussion. Steve could talk and give examples all day but the logic and reasoning wouldn't take away the ache in his heart - that one verbal bullet.

"And the thing is," Steve pressed on, "they know it. They know how much you love them. It's been a natural thing for Gracie for all these years, but Charlie, it's been just a few months but he knows it too."

"Lou tell you to say that?" Feeling very uncomfortable, he reached over and adjusted his arm in the sling; the physical change doing nothing to help his dreary disposition.

"Why would Lou tell me to say that?"

"I don't know. You tell me. He comes by last night with food and pie and that story about Grace crying on Christmas Eve and saying that same stuff about the kids that you're saying now." Danny's left hand continued to join in the conversation. "I never even told him about what Melissa said. So you tell me, why are you and Lou going on about me loving my kids?"

"Maybe because you need to hear it." Steve paused a moment to let that sink in before going on. "She was wrong, Danny. Flat out wrong. She's screwed up and angry and had no place to say that sh*% to you."

"She apologized," Danny said, swallowing hard and staring at the table as he finally succumbed and directly addressed the subject. "Today on the phone, she apologized. Said she was still dealing with stuff and was wrong for taking it out on me."

"See, there you go. Case closed."

"Yeah, yeah I guess so," Danny whispered in agreement, albeit unconvincingly, eyes never moving from the table as his left hand fiddled with a napkin.

"Look, you didn't love Melissa. She wanted you to love her but you didn't and you weren't willing to fake it. She took that out on you. It's that simple."

"It's never that simple," Danny grumbled, shifting to try and alleviate the pain in his back as he flashed just a quick glance at Steve. "I mean, take Charlie for example. He was a happy kid. He had two parents who loved him, a great big sister who adored him most of the time and put up with him the rest of the time. He had everything he needed, everything he wanted and things he didn't even know existed. Then I come along and he doesn't even know his own name and he gets a $15 Pie Face game for Christmas."

Steve looked at his friend for a moment reflecting on what Melissa had told Danny, _"You are incapable of love."_ That would imply that he didn't love his kids either. Damn, that must have really hurt, he thought. "None of that has anything to do with you loving him."

"It doesn't? If I loved him, wouldn't I have let him keep that perfect family? It was something out of a freaking Hallmark movie and I took it away from him."

"Are you serious? What screams Hallmark movie more than a father who loves his kids as much as you do? You didn't take anything away from him, Danny. He still lives there most of the time, he even still calls Stan, Daddy."

Danny flinched at that and then set his jaw. "You're not helping." Rising from the chair, he headed for the kitchen door but noticed the mistletoe above it and it reminded him of Mindy and the kiss that was so amazing he could still taste it on his lips, the kiss that he was sure had ruined their friendship. Reaching up, he tried to pull it down.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked abruptly, totally confused by Danny's action.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Danny tried again but he could barely reach, he only had one hand and the freaking plant was fastened up there tightly.

Steve rolled his eyes. "You're not supposed to be stretching, Danno." Danny turned and glared at him and Steve raised his hands up. "I know, I know, don't call you Danno."

"I was going to ask why the hell a giant like you is standing there telling me I shouldn't be doing it instead of giving me a friggin' hand."

"What's the big rush? It's the day after Christmas," Steve asked, even as he rose from his own chair.

"I just want it down, okay? You know what? Forget it," he said, moving to the table and reaching for a chair.

"Put the chair down," Steve said as he moved to Danny's side and playfully shoved him away from the chair before heading to the doorway and, using his height and both hands to his advantage, began to unfasten the mistletoe. "I still don't know what the big deal is. Do you have it in that crazy head of yours to take everything down today? Eric said he'd take care of it."

"Just the damn mistletoe."

Steve pulled it loose and turned. Danny promptly snatched it from his hand and, stomping on the foot lever to open the trashcan, chucked it inside before letting the lid snap shut. Steve stared at him with raised eyebrows, wondering what that was all about. "What do you have against mistletoe?"

"What do I have aga…? Are you serious? I have kids and here's a poisonous, parasitic plant hanging in my house. Does that make sense to you? Any sense at all? And besides that, there's a freaking kissing tradition attached to it that says you have to kiss under the damn stuff if you're caught under it. It's like a sick, twisted game of spin the bottle. You aren't safe in your own house. I'm afraid to leave my own kitchen because I don't know who might be walking in at the same time." Danny paused for a moment, wondering if Steve would see through all of his bluster and start a new interrogation. So, he threw some chaff. "I love ya, babe, but there's no way in hell I'm gunna kiss you under any damn mistletoe."

Steve smiled, realizing that in his own unique way, Danny was showing that Steve had gotten through to him. This was the Danny he liked to see – full of 'piss and vinegar' as they say. He didn't press the issue, however. For one thing, his best friend had a valid point about getting caught under the mistletoe, not that Steve would ever overtly agree with Danny on anything if he could help it. But even more than that, Danny was dealing with a boatload of troubles and had, perhaps, one of the crappiest Christmases in the history of mankind. If he wanted to take it out on a poisonous, parasitic plant with a bizarre tradition attached to it then who was he to stop him?

HHHHHHH

* From Sonnet 43 by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A/N Well my dear readers, I'm off across the ocean now. I won't have my PC or even consistent Internet access, plus I'll be rather busy, so I won't be able to post for a few weeks. At least I didn't leave you with a cliffhanger, right? A blessed Passover and Easter and a happy spring (with no allergies) to all. See you in May.


	95. Chapter 95

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters. 

A/N Hello there faithful readers. I'm back on this side of the ocean. I went through copious metal detectors and had a nice, safe trip. Everything was so awesome. Truly blessed. Real life continues to throw monkey wrenches into the works but most of them are beautiful monkey wrenches (like traveling, being healthy enough to play soccer again (scored a hat trick in our last game), kids coming home for the summer...) and none of them are terrible monkey wrenches so I'll just keep trying to maneuver around them and eke out writing time until I can wrap this story up.

A short recap of the story before I proceed since it's been a month since I was last able to post. In the last chapter, it was the day after Christmas and Danny and Steve had a short chat about the things Melissa had said to him. Danny felt marginally better but there's still much emotional healing left to do. Then he saw the mistletoe above the kitchen door and it made him think of Mindy and his fear that he had ruined their friendship by kissing her under it. So, with Steve's (uninformed and confused) help, he tore it down and threw it away. 

A/N _Words in italics are Danny's memory._

H50 H50 H50

A few days after Christmas, Danny had yet another doctor appointment but he didn't want to go. This one was with the Wound Care Specialist and she was going to evaluate the wound, yet again, to determine if the infection had finally cleared. Deep inside, Danny felt as if the infection was finally gone. He had more energy and more appetite than the weeks prior and his back was not as tender to the touch. Deep inside, Danny could feel the improvement, but there was no way that that feeling would reach his lips, no way it would see the light of day because deep down he also knew what the doctor would say. Deep down he knew that the doctor would find that nothing had changed. Deep down he knew that life always worked that way for him.

I'll just call and cancel, Danny thought. No appointment, no disappointment. He reached for his phone to do just that and then had another thought; he'd have to explain the cancellation to Steve. There was no way his annoying partner would let it go without a plausible reason. The control freak would have to know every detail. If Danny said he wasn't feeling up to it, Steve would say that was the perfect reason to see the doctor. If he said he had something to do, Steve would have to know what - and that would be a tough one anyway, because Danny had more than enough free time on his hands so that he could find another time for whatever it was. If he said that one of the kids was sick, Steve would be right over with medicine from the pharmacy and chicken soup from the deli, knowing that Danny couldn't drive there himself.

No, there was no way to get out of this appointment without Steve seeing right through him. Danny growled. He really didn't want to go.

Nevertheless, Danny continued to shower and shave and dress. Between the pain and the single-handedness it took him an inordinate amount of time to accomplish the simple tasks but at least he was doing it a bit quicker each day. Now, the only things left to do were to put on his shoes, button his shirt and get his arm in the sling. He looked at the clock and saw that Steve was due right that very moment. Before he could even hope that Steve would be late there was a knock at the door, right on cue. Sighing, he went to let his friend in. "Would it hurt you to be late just once in…" Danny pulled the door open to reveal Mindy, not Steve. "... your life," he finished saying on a downbeat. 

"Hi Danny," Mindy said with a radiant smile on her face. 

Completely taken aback, Danny stood in stunned silence for a moment, only managing a simple, polite "hi" in return as he stepped back to let her in. He hadn't seen or even spoken to her since that damn mistletoe kiss that he was certain would ruin their friendship forever and here she was on his doorstep with that beautiful smile and a cheery hello. It was taking him a moment to process his good fortune. 

Mindy laughed, realizing only that she had caught him off guard. "Surprise?" 

"Uh yeah." Danny smiled, thrilled that Mindy was talking to him like nothing was wrong. He fought the temptation to say something about it. "It's good to see you Mindy but I wish you had given me a heads up. Steve's due any minute to take me to my appointment." Hearing a car go by, Danny glanced out the window expecting to see Steve's truck pull up. 

"He didn't call you?" 

"No," he answered quickly before pausing to think for just a moment about whom she was referring. "Who?" 

"Steve. I guess that's why you seem so confused. He called me a short while ago, said he was tied up with a case and asked if I could take you." 

Feelings of frustration bubbled up. He should be with his partner, out solving crimes and protecting this island and keeping its people safe. Instead… well, Danny was fed up with the 'instead'. He focused on Mindy to derail that train of thought. "But, I thought you had family in town for the holidays." 

"I do, but they can live without me for a couple hours while I do a favor for a friend. My auntie wanted to come along and meet you but I told her we didn't need a chaperone for a doctor's appointment." 

"Chaperone?" That caught him completely off-guard. 

"I'm kidding Danny, although if she saw you like this," Mindy waved her hand indicating Danny's unbuttoned shirt and bare feet (damn he looked good), "she might not take no for an answer." 

Danny looked down at his bare chest and gave a sheepish grin. "I'm sorry. I ran out of time." 

"And here I thought Steve was rubbing off on you."

"I do NOT rip my shirt off every chance I get," Danny defended, feigning an offended grin.

Mindy smirked as Danny reacted to her teasing. "You want some help?" 

Danny had a warm feeling wash over him as he thought of Mindy's hands buttoning his shirt but he pushed it away. Melissa's words jumped into his head, the hurtful ones not the apology. _"I was just a warm body for your bed."_ But he pushed those away as well. "It's alright," he said as he used his left hand to start the task, before adding with a wry grin, "I'm almost as fast as Charlie now. So, did Steve say where he was going?" 

Mindy watched him for a moment, trying not to get lost in the disappearing view of Danny's strong chest, but managed to not lose track of their conversation. "No." 

"Did he say what he had to do? Interview a witness? Bring in a suspect?" His frustration had turned to concern. 

"Nothing." Mindy shook her head to affirm her statement, but her face bore witness to the empathy she felt for Danny. "I'm sure it's nothing," she added lamely.

"Nothing?" Danny exclaimed, as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped on the screen a couple times. "Nothing? That Ninja warrior could start an international incident eating cupcakes with a preschooler. He's a bullet magnet, Mindy - - and he's not answering his phone." He stared at his phone, willing Steve to answer his call. The concern was now worry.

"Danny, just relax, okay?" Mindy told him, knowing that he was already worrying about his best friend. "He's not answering his phone because he had something important to do, which is why he asked me to drive you."

"Or, he's not answering his phone because he doesn't want to talk to me because he knows I'm going to give him what-for over some crazy stunt he plans to pull." Danny continued to try Steve's phone while he spoke, his tone alternating between exasperated and anxious. "He's an animal, Mindy and for some reason known only to the gods of pineapple and sandy shorts, I've been assigned the mission of being his tamer. But I can't do that when I'm not there."

"But the rest of the team…"

"Won't rein him in. Kono is his protege and she walks contentedly in his Neanderthal footsteps. Chin will try a bit, in that calm Zen way he has, but won't push the point. Lou, well, I don't know what to say about Lou. He practically worships the ground Steve walks on; Steve gave him this job on the team when he was kicked off the force and he'll never forget that. Steve says jump, he'll say 'how high?' They're not answering either." His brow furrowed in concern, he puffed out a frustrated breath as he shot a death glare at his phone.

Despite Danny's earnest delivery, Mindy found herself smiling slightly. She adored Danny's flair for the dramatic, especially as it usually went hand in hand with his heart of gold. "That doesn't mean that he's blowing up downtown Oahu or something."

"I wouldn't put it past him," Danny snorted, trying Steve's number again. The worry now anxiety.

Mindy chuckled. "Okay, it's not out of the realm of possibility, but let's not borrow trouble, okay? We'll go to your appointment and try calling him again when you're done. How's that sound?" Her voice soft and soothing, she neither derided nor encouraged his anxiety. Danny looked at the phone in his hand, willing Steve to answer his call. "Danny?"

Mindy gently spoke his name and he tore his eyes away from the phone and looked up, catching her gaze. Seeing the calm compassion there, he let out a deep sigh. She had this way about her that could calm a tempest. "Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. We'll call him later." Although he still didn't want to go to the appointment. He looked at the phone in his hand once more and then pushed it into his pocket. "You must think I'm crazy."

"No, of course not. You're just concerned for your friends. I find it charming." 

"Charming? I don't think anybody has ever called me charming before," Danny said as he returned to the task of buttoning his shirt that had been waylaid by his futile attempts to contact Steve.

"Oh come on, not even your mother?"

Danny laughed. "Especially not my mother. Matty was the charmer." It felt good to talk about Matty outside of the context of his death and Mindy was always a comfortable participant.

"And what were you?"

"You don't want to know." He was the protector, the rule enforcer, the peacekeeper, the one who came home with a black eye and a bloody nose after defending a sibling or friend and then had to face his parent's wrath for fighting. He was the one who couldn't sit still in class or keep his mouth shut through an entire lesson and then had to face his parent's wrath when he got detention. He was the one who took all of those frustrations and worked them out on the baseball field only to be told he was too small to be any good at the college level, despite excelling at every level up until then.

Mindy, for her part, did want to know, really truly wanted to know. She wanted to know everything about him, every minute detail of his childhood and everything that had happened to form him into the amazing man he was today, but she kept her slightly stalkerish tendencies to herself and glanced at her watch instead. "Oh, wow. We need to get going."

The dread returned like a blow to the side of his head. He didn't want to hear the doctor tell him, once again, that the infection still lingered. "I uh, need to get my shoes. I'll be right back." He headed to his room, hearing the doctor's sad pronouncement rattling around in his head, and took his sweet time putting his slip-on shoes on his feet.

Arm hanging by his side, he left the sling on the bed and headed out to Mindy. "Shirt buttoned, shoes on - Charlie would be proud." 

"Arm in sling?" Mindy said, with a tilt of her head and just a hint of parental-like exasperation.

Appearing appropriately chastised, Danny dropped his head down to look at his arm. He always had a good poker face and it helped now. He wasn't actually lying to her, he was just stalling for time. He **really** didn't want to go to this doctor appointment. "It's in my room," he said vaguely, purposely offering no reason why he didn't have it so that he wouldn't actually be lying to her. "I'll go get it."

Mindy tilted her head in confusion as Danny headed back to his room. He was acting strange. Something wasn't right here but she didn't know what.

As she waited, her eyes instinctively went to the kitchen door. The door frame above it, to be exact. That's where she was the last time she saw Danny. That's where she was when one of her deepest desires had been fulfilled - she could still feel his lips on hers - yet she had been left with even more desire.

She wasn't sure what it was exactly that drew her to Danny. He was wonderfully handsome and solidly built. He had amazing blue eyes that sparkled with mirth or wrath depending on the situation. He was strong and sensitive and sinfully sexy. He was kind and caring and equipped with an encyclopedic level vocabulary without ever appearing esoteric. And while his rants could be somewhat abstruse, they were grounded in solid philosophy, valid purpose and good intention. It wasn't just one thing that she loved about him, she figured, she loved it all.

No other man captured her attention like Danny did. No other man held her heart in his hands; only Danny did.

Gaze settling above the door, her breath caught when she saw it. The mistletoe was gone.


	96. Chapter 96

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Real life is still gloriously chaotic but I managed to get another chapter out in a week. I believe I replied personally to all of the named reviews but I'll take this opportunity to thank the guest reviewers and all of the new faves and follows. I'm humbled.

H50 H50 H50

The mistletoe was gone. Mindy could scarcely believe it.

All at once she understood Danny's odd behavior. It was the kiss under the mistletoe. He regretted it, completely. That's why he had taken it down, that's why he was acting so strange in her presence. Her heart broke. He had given her the chance to avoid that kiss but she hadn't taken it. She had wanted it so very much. She had wanted it so much, in fact, that she hadn't even offered him the same courtesy to back out as he had offered her. She had ruined everything! The moment that had been such a magical dream had now turned into a nightmare.

Suddenly remembering her comments about a chaperone and Danny's bare chest, Mindy cringed inside. What had she done? She wanted to cry. She wanted to turn and run. She glanced hurriedly at the door. But Danny was expecting her to take him to the doctor and she couldn't turn her back on him.

Letting out a shaky breath, Mindy composed herself, forcing herself to move around the room and distract herself by closely examining the Christmas tree, especially the numerous hand-made ornaments. 

Danny was a friend, she reminded herself, a very good friend who was involved with another woman. He had been dating Melissa for several years now, she knew. The fact that she wanted more would not change that basic fact. The fact that they had kissed under the mistletoe would not change that fact either - no matter how much Mindy had enjoyed it. That one kiss would have to last her a lifetime.

Sighing, she turned away just as Danny came back down the hallway, sling clutched tightly in his left hand. "I love all of these hand-made ornaments," she said to try and divert her own attention away from her disconcerting thoughts. "They seem to be pairs yet each one is so unique."

Danny thought of all the hours he and Grace had spent over the years researching a new ornament to make, buying the necessary materials and then working on them together, each of them making one as a gift for the other.. It had started when Grace was just a toddler and they made construction paper garland. The next year they progressed to stringing popcorn.

Then, wanting something more permanent to show for all their efforts, the research had started. They went to the library and found a book loaded with ideas. More recently, the internet provided the ideas and Grace would begin searching for the perfect project right after Halloween, leaving plenty of time to accomplish the task.

Danny smiled broadly as he thought of all the special time he had spent with his little monkey making them. "We make one for each other every year, Grace and I." He paused then and Mindy watched his smile fade away. "We were supposed to do it this year with Charlie." He didn't explain any more; he didn't have to. The tradition was yet another casualty of the horrific knife attack on Danny. An aura of heartbreak surrounded him so clearly that Mindy felt like she could reach out and grab it and throw it away. She longed to be able to do that.

Pushing her own sadness aside, tears pricked her eyes again, but this time, not for her and her unrequited love, but for this friend of hers and all of his suffering and loss. "I'm sorry."

"I don't understand that," Danny said with a shake of his head.

"You don't understand 'I'm sorry'?" Mindy asked, eyebrows scrunched together in bewilderment. Sometimes Danny was confusing.

Danny grinned at her obvious befuddlement. "I don't understand why people say 'I'm sorry' when they did nothing wrong. You didn't hurt me. You've never done anything to hurt me. In fact, you've always been so good to me that I can't even imagine why, except that you are an incredibly good person."

Mindy blushed under the compliment. "Thank you. Just helping a friend," she said, again resigning herself to the fact that it wouldn't be any more than that but relieved that Danny didn't seem to be acting withdrawn anymore. Maybe she had imagined things before? Maybe the mistletoe was missing for a purely unrelated reason? She could hope but she couldn't dwell on that now. "Well, I hate to stop you when you are throwing so many compliments my way, but we really do need to get going," Mindy said with a soft chuckle as she reached for the sling to help him into it.

"See," Danny said, even as he reluctantly relinquished the sling. "This is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. Look how nice you're being to me."

"I just need to get us on the road," she replied as she began to help him with the task.

Sling firmly in place, Mindy headed for the door but Danny suddenly spoke up again. "Oh wait a second, I think I left the oven on." With that he turned and disappeared into the kitchen for what seemed like an inordinate amount of time to simply turn off the oven.

"Danny?"

"Just a second," he called from the other side of the door where the mistletoe kiss had taken place.

"You're going to be late as it is," Mindy admonished.

"You sound like Steve. Let me try him again," Danny said as he reappeared through the doorway, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Realization dawned on Mindy and she reached out and placed her hand over the phone that Danny held. "You don't want to go, do you?"

"That's not…" The protest died on Danny's lips as he looked into Mindy's empathetic eyes. He let out a weary sigh and averted his gaze to the floor. He couldn't deny it. That would be a lie and he couldn't lie to Mindy.

"What's going on?" It occurred to Mindy that this could be why Danny was acting strangely. Maybe, hopefully, the mistletoe had nothing to do with it. She clenched her teeth together in hopeful eagerness.

Danny stammered, lost for words to express himself.

"Whatever it is, we do still need to go, don't we?" Her query was gentle and without judgement.

Danny glanced at Mindy and then looked away again. "Yeah." He hauled in a deep breath and huffed it out. 'Suck it up Williams', he told himself. "Yeah, let's get going."

When they were in the car and on the way, Mindy spoke up again, trying to get him to talk so she could get a feel for where things stood. "This is the Wound Specialist you're seeing today, right?"

"Yeah."

Mindy had been through medical school. She knew that a wound specialist would evaluate the wound and the signs of infection. When the infection finally cleared up, a surgeon would be able to close the wound. "So, he might tell you that the infection is gone and the wound is ready to be closed up."

"Or, she might tell me that the infection is still lurking like a rat in the walls and tell me, yet again, that we need to leave the wound open."

A tiny grin quirked Mindy's lips. The subject was terribly serious but his presentation was always entertaining. "Is that what you're afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid," Danny started, but then Mindy cast a quick glance his way and he couldn't continue the charade any longer. "I'm not afraid, I'm terrified. I don't know if I can handle it if she tells me the wound is still infected like she has for the past two months. It feels better Mindy, much better, and there's this part of me that knows it's because the infection is finally, mercifully gone."

That was a good thing. "So, what's the problem?"

"What's the problem? The problem is that this is me we're talking about, so there's this other part of me that knows that my life just doesn't work that way and that this infection will never clear up. It'll just stay there, eating away at my insides until it kills me dead."

"Danny!"

"Well, you asked."

"Yes, that's true." Mindy grinned softly. His tendency to be completely forthright was simultaneously shocking and refreshing. "I'm sorry you think that way but you just said you feel better lately. Focus on that."

"I'm trying, but I keep picturing the doctor saying 'Nope. Sorry. It's going to kill you so you better pay your bill in full on the way out the door.'"

Mindy couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. She dearly loved Danny's self-deprecating sense of humor. It was often a healthy way to deal with his anxieties even if others didn't understand it. "You're doing well, Danny. Maybe you could try and stop thinking about worse case scenarios and start thinking more positively."

"Now you sound like Steve again."

"That's because we both care. So maybe you should try and take our advice."

"It's not that easy."

Mindy knew that was true. She knew that people who struggled with anxiety like Danny did couldn't just turn it off any more than a person with a broken bone could turn off the pain, but she also knew that there were strategies to help deal with it. Danny employed some of them. Maybe now he needed some more. Before she could speak though, Danny continued.

"It's like getting a box of donuts. Well, malasadas for you locals but they're not exactly the same. For us haoles it's donuts, especially cop haoles. So, you get this big box of donuts. A dozen of them, all puffy and sweet and sticky. The aroma is intoxicating and you know that just sniffing them will clog your arteries but you don't care and you want to eat them all anyway, you know?"

"Okaaay." Mindy had no idea where he was going with this but she let him talk. He sounded more like the real Danny than the way he was earlier, but more importantly, she really, truly wanted to understand him.

"So, you open the box and there in front of you are 12 of the most perfect jelly filled donuts you've ever seen in your entire life."

"That sounds delicious," Mindy commented, stomach practically growling at the thought.

"It does, doesn't it?" Danny agreed with a grin before going on. "And then everybody reaches in and takes a donut."

"And you don't get one?" Mindy ventured a guess.

"No, I get one. It's the biggest, puffiest, most beautiful donut in the box - but it's empty."

"The box?"

"The donut. Malasada. Whatever, it's a shell. Empty."

"Empty?" She was missing something.

"Empty. Vacant. Hollow. Void. Vacio. Pustoy. Nele," Danny confirmed, rattling off English synonyms and then translations into Spanish, Russian and Hawaiian. "Loa nele."

The words vacio and pustoy were completely foreign to Mindy but she knew that last phrase. "Okay, so everybody gets a jelly donut except you because yours is completely empty," she summarized, still totally confused about what this whole story meant.

"Yeah, but I wanted a jelly donut."

Mindy took a moment to try and process it, but came up as empty as Danny's metaphorical donut. "Danny, I'm sorry, but I'm missing something here."

"It's an allegory."

"I got that much," she said with a laugh. "But, I'm afraid I missed your point."

"You don't understand because you always get a jelly one." Danny finished his explanation with a resigned sigh and a one handed flourish. "But me? Life just keeps sucking the jelly right out of my donuts."


	97. Chapter 97

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Sorry this took two weeks to post but I'm doing the best I can.

A/N I like how different readers took away different thoughts from Danny's donut allegory. Obviously I was hoping that it would resonate with my readers. Looks like it did. Now, let's see how it resonated with Mindy.

H50 H50 H50

A short while later, Mindy was sitting in the waiting room by herself after Danny had just been called in to the examination room. The waiting room was spacious and quiet. A huge fish tank bubbled softly on the far wall and she recalled how Danny had spent most of his short waiting time standing in front of it pointing things out and freely sharing his observations with her. She knew that Danny had been in this office many times over the last months and she was sure he had not forgotten about Steve and the team and most certainly could not have forgotten the imminent doctor exam, yet the fish had still captured his attention and had seemed to soothe his rattled nerves.

Contrary to that, the bizarre abstract painting that took up most of another wall appeared to have had a different effect entirely and Mindy recalled now how Danny had simply snorted a mumbled comment about it with a disdainful flick of his wrist and seemed to rather purposefully never give it another moment's notice. Chuckling softly at the memory, she pulled her bag onto her lap.

Steve's call asking her to drive Danny had been hurried and last minute but she had been able to snag a book from her coffee table, dropping it into her bag on the way out the door. It was a set of plays written by Grace's favorite actor/writer that the girl had assured her she would love to read when she had pressed the book into Mindy's hand a week prior. Her appeal had been so earnest that Mindy wondered with a grin if Grace had some sort of royalties for each book that was read. Eager to find out what Grace found so enticing, she sat back, opened it up and began to read.

She failed. Her mind wandered. It did that a lot lately - just wandered away, right over to Danny. She fought it for a while and then, closing the book, gave in. Her thoughts returned to Danny's donut allegory. 'Life just keeps sucking the jelly right out of my donuts,' he had said. She didn't know if she should laugh or cry, because, while the comment was rather funny the truth of it was terribly sad. Danny had suffered more than his fair share of troubles and hard times in his life, not the least of which was the infection he had been battling fiercely for the past months and that had forced him here to this office today. The fact that the infection could still kill him wasn't lost on her. As a doctor herself she knew that it was a slim yet still very real possibility.

When Danny had spoken that line they were just pulling into the medical building parking lot so there was no opportunity to truly pursue the discussion. Maybe that was a good thing because this way she had time to think it through. What Danny had failed to realize she thought, often failed to realize actually, was that even in his allegory, he still had a donut, empty though it was. Many people didn't even have that much. Further, she pondered, he had people with whom he could share the donuts. That was a blessing of its own that many others didn't have. Yes, while Danny often did end up with a hollow donut he at least had a box full of pastries. She'd have to find a way to get him to see that fact. It would help him be happier and she wanted him to be happy.

When he had made the statement, his voice had been both tremendously passionate and painfully poignant, Mindy recalled. Danny had not meant it as a joke; she knew that. She understood the man enough by now to know how his mind worked. It was a wonderful, fascinating thing, his mind. Nothing ordinary ever came out of his mouth. He was a verbal, arm waving Rembrandt, Michelangelo, Bach, Beethoven; a true linguistic master. She could watch and listen to him all day.

Wow, she had it bad, she thought with a grin.

Sighing, she looked up at the door to the exam rooms in the back, praying and hoping for good news. Just because she could never have him for herself didn't mean she wouldn't wish him well.

Inside the exam room, Danny had managed to remove the sling and then unbutton and remove his shirt. He wandered around the exam room shirtless, right arm hanging at his side. It wasn't in his character to sit still and wait and his current anxiety level was sky high, exacerbating his restless nature. His anxiety would have been in the stratosphere, he thought, if it hadn't been for Mindy. How she was always able to soothe his worries escaped him and fascinated him at the same time.

More of Melissa's words sprang up unbidden in his head, _"You used me."_ Is that how Mindy feels, he worried. She had done so much for him already and what had he ever done for her?

He didn't know how he could ever repay her for all she had done for him over the past couple months. He was trying, that's for sure. It had been about a month now since he had obtained, through a contact supplied by Tony Archer, a copy of the file on the murder of Mindy's college friend, Susan Landon. Not knowing exactly what happened to Susan or who was responsible for her death was still painful for Mindy, and, as a father himself, Danny was sure it was even worse for Susan's parents.

After Mindy had shared her story with him, he had made some early efforts to try and have the cold case re-opened but to no avail. Happy that he had thought of asking, he had been thrilled that Tony Archer's contact in the Baltimore Police Department had worked out so well, landing a complete copy of the file in his own hands. Now that he had so much free time on his hands - and he had could make it through a day without sleeping through most of it - he was able to review the case-file himself, scrutinizing the photos, listening to the interviews, pondering all of the evidence, putting the pieces of the puzzle together himself..

He had some feelings about it, deep in his gut. He had some questions and some doubts and some things that left him perplexed. He loved puzzles; they made him feel challenged and invigorated. Every case for him as a detective did the same. So, he had mulled over everything, pondered and contemplated every tiny detail, all the minutiae. He had spent copious hours on this already, hours he only had because of this freaking injury, and he would spend copious more. This was another puzzle he was determined to solve. This time, though, it was not just because of the challenge of the puzzle. No, this time it meant so much more to him, simply because it meant so much to Mindy.

His thoughts wandered to the kiss under the mistletoe. Her hair had been soft between his fingers, her lips warm and luscious beneath his own. He had wanted more. Honestly, he still wanted more. He pushed those thoughts aside. He had ended things with Melissa - or technically she had ended them with him - just days before. It was too soon to get involved with somebody else. Besides that, he had a history of failed relationships with women. Mindy was a friend, a good friend and he did not want to ruin that for the sake of a relationship that was doomed to fail like every other one had before it.

His sexual attraction to Mindy would have to remain frustratingly unfulfilled even as her friendship was unconditionally cherished.

His daydreaming was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. He turned to see his doctor enter the exam room. The native Hawaiian woman was petite, shorter even than Danny, with dark skin and hair and a real go-getter attitude. Sometimes her verve and ebullience grated on Danny's nerves a bit but he most definitely respected her professional abilities.

"Good morning, Danny. Can't sit still again, I see." She laughed as she spoke. The first couple of Danny's visits, he was seated on the table when she came in, his pain and exhaustion getting the better of him. But since then she always found him upright, pacing the room like some caged animal. One time he was using her otoscope to check out Steve's ear, she recalled with a smile.

"Hi Doc. Sorry." He tossed a sheepish grin her way.

"I've told you before, no apologies. Where's your sidekick?"

Danny laughed. "I don't think he'd like being called my sidekick. Too much of a control freak."

She laughed as well, then motioned to the table as she spoke. "I've gathered as much."

Danny maneuvered himself slowly onto the table. "He's working. Another friend brought me."

As always, she asked a series of questions while she did a physical examination of the still-open wound on his back but Danny was hesitant to be too forthright. It would get his hopes up, only to have them dashed.

"Have you been taking the antibiotics as prescribed?"

"Yeah. As best as I can. There are so many pills at so many times. Hard to keep track of it all." Steve would have a field day with that answer, Danny thought as he finished. He was actually extremely careful and conscientious when it came to taking his pills and if that wasn't enough, he always had his control freak partner to remind him and double check on him.

"It's extremely important to be consistent when taking antibiotics. You need to remain on top of the infection," the doctor advised.

There it was, Danny thought. He knew it was coming. She was going to tell him that the infection was still there, eating away at the muscle and tissue and sinew in his back, working it's way to his bloodstream where it would turn into sepsis and kill him.

"Has your appetite improved at all?"

He felt that it had improved, yet his stomach had been in knots for days, making it difficult to eat. That could possibly be attributed to being stressed out and sick over Melissa though. But, what if he told the doctor that he thought things were improving and then she told him the infection was still there? Maybe the recent resurgent stomach issues were not because of Melissa. Maybe it was from the infection. "Maybe a little. I'm not sure."

The doctor nodded and went on with her inquisition. "Do you have somebody changing the dressing and cleaning the wound as scheduled?"

He couldn't quite beat around the bush with this one. Steve, Mindy, Chin and Eric had all been so very reliable. He could not deny that. "Yes."

"Well," the beautiful doctor said.

Danny braced himself for the bad news.

H50 H50 H50

A/N Oops, did I just leave you with a cliffhanger?


	98. Chapter 98

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I really did intend to finish and post this chapter sooner but I cheerily blame the delay on Natalie Ryan. :) She has recently started reading this story and is so wonderfully reviewing each chapter so I receive several review emails a day. Many times I'm not sure what happened in the chapter she is reviewing so I go back and take a look. Then, of course, I need to reply and then she replies and well, you get the picture. Real life (kids, hubby, soccer, work) rears it's wonderful head in between to further encumber my writing time. No complaints, though. Life is good.

A/N Many of you commented on Danny and how he dwells on the negative. The way I see Danny as written on the show (and therefore how I try to write him), he really does appreciate the good in his life. He just has learned from an extremely young age how fragile and fleeting things are, and that scares him, precisely because he appreciates them so much. So, his self defense mechanism is to expect the bad so he feels prepared for it.

H50 H50 H50

Mindy had finally managed to pull her thoughts away from Danny (and how he sat, shirtless, on the other side of the door) and focus on the book. She had read the forward and author's note three times each, because they were funny and because they gave a nice insight into this actor/writer that Grace so admired. She figured that maybe having that insight would help her better understand Danny's daughter and, in turn, help Mindy to help Danny better understand the changes his beloved teenage girl was going through and the young woman she was becoming. She couldn't imagine how daunting a task it would be for a single father to try and understand a teenage girl. She knew that her mother had tutored her father through the process and wanted to be able to help Danny any way she could.

She was now several pages into the first play and truly enjoying the work. It was raw and honest and Mindy could understand how the daughter of a man like Danny, who wore his heart on his sleeve yet was often unable to verbally express his true feelings of love and loyalty, could be enamored of such an approach.

She was enjoying the dialogue, an argument between two men who had such disparate opinions on a subject that it was difficult to believe they were close friends yet, the way they argued with each other, the way they knew just which buttons to push, the way they seemed to know what the other was thinking before it was said, made it obvious that these two men had a deep connection. She was sure that although things seemed bleak in the relationship of the two characters at that moment, they would be able to somehow move past the differences and return to a more normal equilibrium between them. After all, she thought with a wry grin, she had seen a similar disagreement unfold between Danny and Steve when they argued about the term 'partner' - and they had worked everything out just fine.

Shaking her head at the thought of how emotionally invested she had already become in these characters, she turned back to the book and kept reading. A few pages later her attention was broken when the door from the exam rooms was opened. She could scarcely believe her eyes as Danny came out with a bounce in his step that rivaled Tigger himself. She almost turned to see if Winnie the Pooh was following. She gazed on him in surprise as he stepped cheerily up to the desk and paid his co-pay without complaint.

Mindy's breath caught in her throat when he turned to her. His normally beautiful blue eyes were sparkling like diamonds in the sun. His smile, that she could never get enough of, shined in a way usually reserved for his children. Before she could speak he had moved quickly to her. Wrapping his left arm around her waist he lifted her from the floor and spun her around in a full circle, eliciting a schoolgirl type giggle from her throat.

"Danny…?" she managed to squeak out, worried that he'd aggravate his injury further with this impromptu action.

"Mindy Shaw, you are my good luck charm. There is no other explanation in this entire universe." Having completed the spin he placed her back on her feet, wincing from the pain but grinning from ear to ear nonetheless. "My rabbit's foot, my four leaf clover, my mojo bag. You're a shooting star after a rainbow over a wishing well." His left hand accompanied his words with a fancy demonstration.

Mindy nearly melted at the sight of his beaming countenance and nearly laughed at his exuberant expression, but she replied with a subtle retort, trying to maintain a straight face. "I take it your appointment went better than expected?"

Danny laughed giddily in reply, prompting Mindy to speak again before he even said another word. "I guess you got a jelly donut this time, huh?" Her grin was nearly as wide as his now, her heart bursting with joy for whatever had him so incredibly elated.

"Forget the jelly, I got one bursting with chocolate cream!"

"Chocolate cream?" Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Don't tell me." Danny was incredulous. "Don't tell me you have never had a chocolate cream filled donut," he said as he placed his left arm behind her back and led her to the exit. "I guess I can understand it in this land of malasadas and Cocoa Puffs but are you telling me that in Baltimore you never had a chocolate cream donut?"

"Never," Mindy giggled.

"Well, I'm going to fix that right now. There's a bakery that sells donuts on the way home. It's not like in New Jersey but it'll do. How does having donuts for lunch sound to you?"

"Very unhealthy," she answered with a laugh. "But Danny, my family..."

He cut her off, not out of rudeness but sheer excitement. "Is gunna love them. I'll buy a dozen. Two dozen. A dozen dozen. My good luck charm deserves it."

"Danny?" She caught his attention this time and he focused on her.

"Yeah?"

"What exactly are we celebrating?" She cast him a curious grin. Assuming that she knew wasn't enough; she had to be sure. She had to hear it from him.

Danny laughed again. Oh yeah. "It's gone Mindy. The infection is gone. Done. Finished. They can close up this da…" He caught himself, refusing to speak like that in front of Mindy. "... This hole in my back now." He paused, stopping in the parking lot and turning to her. The fact that this was the same parking lot where he had finally succumbed to all of the pressure and bad news and had broken down while with Steve was completely lost on him. He was celebrating and allowing himself to savor the moment. Tears of happiness pricked his eyes. "I just can't believe it, Mindy. I thought..." He cleared his throat, trying in vain to corral his emotions. "I thought this day would never come."

Without thinking, Mindy reached out and wiped his tears away with her thumb. Danny had been battling valiantly to appear positive throughout this ordeal but Mindy knew that inside he had been terrified. "You've waited a long time for some good news. I'm just so happy for you."

Danny leaned slightly into the touch, relishing it. As with the mistletoe, while in the moment he didn't think on deeper ramifications of any of it. Happiness was overtaking any rational thought. "I owe it to you; my good luck charm. If Rambo had driven me…" Danny stopped then, his mood suddenly growing serious. His breath catching as he caught Mindy's eye, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

Nothing. No calls. No messages. No texts. Nothing. And just like that Danny's euphoria crashed away, replaced in an instant by anxiety. Sustaining any level of happiness was just impossible.

With a shaking hand and mumbling about donuts, Danny dialed Steve's number. "Come on, you Neanderthal animal, answer the phone," Danny grumbled into his cell with a rising panic until the voicemail picked up and he had to leave a message. "What's going on? Call me."

Danny looked at Mindy and she nearly cried at the worry she saw there. "Voicemail?" She knew that Danny had left a message and not spoken with anybody but she asked anyway. People always asked like that. If the situation was different, Danny would have laughed at the absurdity.

"Mindy, the donuts…" he said even as he began to dial again.

"The donuts can wait," Mindy assured him, but she knew that his mention of donuts had a deeper meaning and she prayed silently where she stood that life had not handed Danny a jelly donut just to suck the jelly right out of it minutes later. Steve had to be all right. The team had to be all right. She looked at Danny as his handsome face creased with worry. He had enough stress to handle. They just had to be all right.


	99. Chapter 99

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N To the guest reviewer who hadn't heard of chocolate cream donuts before, I feel so sorry for you. They are amazing. They're the only donuts I eat because they're the only ones that are worth the calories. Go chocolate or go home!

H50 H50 H50

Danny paced the sidewalk in front of the medical building, trying each of the team members' phones and becoming thoroughly frustrated when nobody answered. He then called Eric, but his nephew had no word on the status or whereabouts of the team either. A short discussion about Eric's schedule for moving out ensued until Danny put an end to it, telling his nephew to go back to work and they'd discuss the timing later.

He tried Jerry, with a similar lack of luck, the conversation veering towards a theory about alien abductions before Danny cut it short.

Feeling desperate, Danny put a call in to Kamekona but the successful entrepreneur/ informant extraordinaire hadn't heard a thing either and when he tried to get his favorite haole to come over and try out his newest shrimp concoction, wrapped up with brussels sprouts, brown sugar and hot sauce in a burrito, Danny simply growled and hung up on him.

Utterly devastated, Danny sunk down and sat on the curb, burying his head in his one working hand. "Five minutes. I'd like to be able to be happy for just five minutes. Is that too much to ask?"

Mindy had settled down next to him and now leaned into him, her right shoulder touching his left. "You're doing it again. You're not looking at the jelly."

He turned his face to her without lifting his head. "Easy for you to say. You always have jelly donuts."

"I've had my share of empty donuts - like Susan," she said, indicating her college friend who died before graduation. Lifting his head, Danny nodded in solemn agreement on that as she went on. "I live far from my family."

"But you chose to move to this pineapple infested volcanic rock so I'm not sure if that actually counts," Danny countered.

"True." Mindy paused then, trying to come up with something else that she could fairly count as a hollow donut in line with the trials Danny had gone through. She battled internally for a moment and then spoke again. "And I'm in love with a man who is spoken for."

Danny turned and looked at her, his thoughts and feelings tumbling around each other like laundry in a dryer. Mindy was in love? She had never mentioned anybody, but that made sense if the guy was married or engaged or something. "The guy's a fool," Danny said. Nobody could be a better catch than Mindy.

She was stunned by his reaction. If he only knew! But she couldn't tell him how she felt. Chastising herself for having even said it, she turned back to the analogy. It was safer territory. "You're looking at the donut from the wrong side."

"Wrong side?" Turning slightly, he was relieved that she wasn't going to speak anymore about this man she loved. He had no right to be jealous but he had to admit to himself that he was, although he still truly valued her friendship.

"Yeah. Those jelly donuts you like so much, the cream ones too I assume, have two sides to them. On one side you can see where they squirt the jelly into the empty pocket but on the other side you don't see the jelly at all."

Danny looked at her, a grin emerging on his face despite his jealousy and his concern for his team. "Right now I can't even see the other side of the donut."

"So, you're just assuming that your jelly donut has no jelly in it."

"That's the way my life works, Mindy. They never do."

"Never?" Mindy raised her eyebrows in a pointed challenge.

"Never."

"Grace." Mindy said, her meaning abundantly clear.

"Was dragged halfway across the world by her mother and I had to follow just to get to see her."

"But she's healthy and happy and smart and caring and beautiful…"

"And she makes googley eyes at Nahele…"

"Danny!" She chastised.

"Okay, okay. Look for the jelly. She's scrappy and stubborn and loyal to a fault." Danny grinned. "Okay, so she's a jelly donut."

"Maybe a chocolate cream?"

Danny's smile lit up his face. "Definitely a chocolate cream."

"Charlie," Mindy stated before Danny could add a 'but' after the chocolate cream.

"I didn't even know he was mine for the first three years of his life and never would have known if he hadn't had a life threatening disease and needed my bone marrow."

"But you saved him, and now he's healthy and happy and…"

"And he loves coming to my house and thinks I'm some kind of superhero." Danny cut her off with a wide grin. "Okay, okay, Charlie is a chocolate cream donut too."

"Steve."

"Now, Steve is many things, but he is not a chocolate cream. Not even a jelly donut." Danny shook his head and smirked while he said it, making a swiping motion with his left hand indicating that he was adamant.

"No?" Mindy raised her eyebrows in another challenge. She knew how close Steve and Danny were - two very different sides of the same coin - but also that both men were loathe to admit it out loud.

Danny looked at her, wondering why she always seemed to know what was deep in his heart, wondering why he always wanted to bare his soul to her. Just then, Danny's phone rang. He checked the caller ID - Steve. His eyes lit up. If Steve was calling him, then he was alive and safe. "Okay, maybe a jelly donut," he said to her as he answered. "Where the hell have you been?" he shouted into the phone as he rose to his feet.

" _Jelly donut? Did you say jelly donut?"_ came the voice on the other end of the line, Steve's voice. Danny could picture him, tak vest on his chest, leather gloves on his hands, arms akimbo as he held the phone to his ear, pacing with a strut that made him look as if he just got off a horse.

Danny let out a long, relieved sigh but wasn't about to tell Steve what he meant by those words. "I was talking to Mindy." He wanted to ask if Steve was okay but he didn't want to appear too concerned. He'd look like a worrywart and Steve would razz him for that. Danny could read Steve like a book so if something was wrong he would figure it out soon enough.

" _You're talking with Mindy about jelly donuts? On an island full of malasadas?"_ He wanted to ask Danny how the appointment went but he didn't want to appear too concerned. He'd look like he was hovering and Danny would complain about that. Somehow or other he would find out.

"Yes, Steven we're headed over to the donut shop right now. Can't compare to Jersey style donuts but it will have to do."

" _Have to do what?"_

Danny wasn't going to get into it. "You're a Neanderthal. Did you catch the bad guy? Take another scum off the streets?"

" _Why yes we did, Daniel."_ Steve then went into an explanation about how he chased a bad guy up stairs, over railings, across rooftops and then heaved a grenade to finally stop the guy.

"There is something seriously wrong with you," Danny shouted after Steve told his story. There were so many chances in that story for things to have gone horribly wrong for Steve. Danny hated the thought of that. He looked at Mindy who was now standing also. "He really DID try to blow up downtown Oahu."

" _No I didn't. It was just one grenade."_ Steve protested over the phone.

"You need help, you know that?" Danny said, in lieu of saying he was glad he was okay.

" _So, did you just get out of the appointment?"_ Steve asked as a way of getting Danny to tell him how it went without appearing as if he cared.

"No. I've been out of there for eight minutes and 54 seconds." And nearly had a heart attack worrying over the team the entire time, he thought.

" _But, who's counting?"_ Steve asked rhetorically.

Danny came up with another excuse for knowing exactly how long he had been waiting anxiously. "I'm hungry okay? And I owe Mindy a box of donuts. Many boxes of donuts."

" _Boxes of donuts?"_

"Yeah. Chocolate cream. As many as she wants," Danny answered with a grin, winking at her as he spoke.

" _It's lunchtime."_

"I know."

" _And you complain about me eating from the vending machine."_

"We're not eating months old candy from the vending machine loaded with high fructose corn syrup and preservatives that you can't pronounce. We're eating soft, fresh, warm donuts oozing with a silky dark chocolate cream."

To Steve, Danny's description sounded very enticing and for a moment he considered asking Danny to get some for him too before changing his mind, not wanting to ruin Danny's good mood nor his time with Mindy. _"You lose a bet or something?"_ He teased him instead.

His relief at finding out that the team was okay was allowing Danny to return a bit to his happy state. "Lose? No way. I feel like I won the lottery. She's my leprechaun. Well, not exactly, since leprechauns are all male. But she's the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. A four leaf clover in a field of greens."

On the other side of the line Steve grinned, understanding what Danny was not yet saying, the answer to the question he hadn't asked. _"You're clear?"_

"Yep." Danny smiled.

" _It's all gone?"_

"I just said that."

" _And you were worried."_

"I wasn't worried."

" _Yes, you were."_

"No, I wasn't." Danny denied. "For two months I've been coming to this doctor and every single time she told me the same bad news. I had no reason to believe that would change. That doesn't mean I was worried. I was just - rationally prepared for a predictable outcome."

" _Predictable, huh?"_ Steve decided to let it drop and focus on the good news. _"So, when will they close up the wound?"_

"A couple weeks maybe. Have to make sure everything stays clear before they close it up."

" _Yeah."_ Steve knew that was the same thing they had been told to expect. _"And they'll do the skin graft like they said?"_

Danny sighed. Because the wound was so large, they would have to do a skin graft from another spot on his lower back to close it properly. They would have to put him under general anesthesia again and there would be alot of pain in the donor site as well as his original wound and then more rounds of painkillers and antibiotics. Seeing Mindy look at him, he closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. He wasn't going to dwell on the negative. He would focus on the box of donuts and the people he could share them with. He wasn't going to think about the jelly or the chocolate cream being sucked right out of them. "Yeah, but I've beat this infection and I'll make it through that, too." The look on Mindy's face when he said that confused him. Was that pride? What was she proud of him for? He did a double take, but Steve spoke again, drawing his attention back.

" _Well then, we have a double reason to celebrate on New Year's Eve."_

Danny smiled. "And I have no restrictions on alcohol until the surgery."

" _That's great. Drinks are on me, of course."_

Danny smiled, hearing Steve's grin through the line. They both enjoyed their predictable banter. In their lives where so much was unpredictable, they could both at least count on that. "Oh, of course. You going to bring your wallet this time?"

When the two friends hung up the call, Danny turned to Mindy who had been patiently waiting with a huge smile on her face. He grabbed her by the hand and gently tugged her towards the car as he spoke. "Come on. Let's go get you some chocolate cream donuts."

HHHH

A/N I have another trip that will take me away from my pc for two weeks. I should have time to write though so hopefully I can post as soon as I get back. At least I left you with a nice happy chapter ending instead of a cliffhanger.


	100. Chapter 100

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Well, I've reached a milestone of sorts and I could not/would not have done this without all of you amazing readers. I still cannot completely fathom that there are people (other than my mother – may she rest in peace) who are willing to read my work. The fact that some of you enjoy it enough and are some how touched by my story enough to leave reviews just boggles my mind even more. I truly appreciate every reader who has stuck with me on this long journey and especially the ones who encouraged me early on to extend my six-chapter story into something more. (Be careful what you ask for, right?)

Some of you have become online "pen pals" and I truly cherish your friendship. You know who you are.

Not to minimize my appreciation of all you readers but I'd like to extend a truly special thank you to the ones who have been reviewing this story from the beginning. Each of these readers has reviewed from 2015 through 2017, many of them dropping a line for every chapter: stefrosacarnevale, julieb716, bswindle20, JazzieG, Long Live BRUCAS, avieryfriend, Shelley67, TMVH50, stargatesg1973, Tracey450, lenail125 (who always manages to drop Steve's name into a review), caramiamy, benswa, detectivejiju, sue2556, and Texas50Fan. If I missed anybody, please accept my deepest apologies and let me know so I can add your name to the list. Your support and faith in me has been a true and ongoing blessing. Thank you.

I don't have the luxury the show has of throwing in a special fancy 100th chapter with bells and whistles all it's own, but I tried to work it out to give you a nice, exciting, yet happy chapter with no cliffhanger.

H50 H50 H50

The car ride to the donut shop was much more relaxed than the ride to the doctor's office had been. Danny was relieved and cheerful and immediately asked Mindy if she minded if he called Grace and shared the good news with her. Mindy couldn't help the huge smile that crossed her face when Danny made the call.

"Hey Monkey! Guess what?" Danny said. Mindy chuckled when Grace's resultant shriek of joy pulsated through the phone line causing Danny to pull the phone away from his ear. When the cheerful and jubilant exchange was over, Danny sat back with a contented smile.

"If you want to call Melissa, I don't mind," Mindy offered, taking every ounce of self-control to do so.

Danny turned startled eyes to Mindy, realizing then that not only did Mindy not know about his breakup but that he hadn't even given a single thought to Melissa the whole morning so far. "Uh, Melissa and I aren't seeing each other anymore," Danny said simply.

Now it was Mindy's turn to react with a startled expression, her heart skipping a beat. "Oh, I'm sorry."

Danny wondered if his attraction to Mindy, that he had tried to keep under control, had somehow become obvious to Mindy leading her to think that she had caused the breakup somehow. Yet, in all honesty, his relationship with Mindy had helped him see the lack of depth in his relationship with Melissa so in a way, she had. Still, it wasn't anything to feel bad about. "There you go again, apologizing for something that wasn't your fault."

Mindy wasn't quite sure what that meant. Was Danny trying to make it clear that she had nothing to do with the breakup? Why would he even think that? Unless… "Well, I didn't know you had broken up. Last I heard, you were going to see her on Christmas day." Mindy's heart skipped a beat again. Oh no, she realized. They had broken up on Christmas! Poor Danny.

"Yeah, I did. I wasn't there long." He paused then before continuing, finding that in his heart he felt the need to clarify things a bit more. Even though she was in love with another man he wanted her to understand that he wasn't pining away for Melissa. On top of that, she was a friend and he cherished his conversations with her. She always helped him see the brighter side of things. "Honestly, it had pretty much been over for a while. We just hadn't admitted it."

Mindy tried not to release her sigh of relief too loudly. "Understandable. Matters of the heart are very complicated. We all want that 'someone special', someone who we love and who loves us unconditionally. Sometimes though, it just seems like an unreachable dream."

Unreachable dream? "You're talking about the guy you mentioned - the one who's taken? Forget about him." While she was focused on this guy who she couldn't have, she could never truly love anybody else, could never truly be happy and Danny wanted her to be happy.

"No. I can't," Mindy said, a little too quickly.

"Focus on someone who is available," was his friendly advice.

"Well, he might not be as unavailable as it sounded," Mindy said, the thought of Danny breaking up with Melissa fresh on her mind.

"Oh." Danny was rather crushed by that thought.

"But why are we talking about me? We were talking about you." Mindy said.

"Yeah, about my latest failed relationship. On second thought, don't listen to anything I say. I'm really bad at this relationship stuff."

"No, you're not." Mindy was well aware of his rock solid relationships with his children, with his parents, with his sisters, with Eric, with Steve, with other friends here and back in New Jersey and even their own friendship. No, Danny Williams was very capable of a good relationship.

"My ex-wife would disagree with you."

"Your ex-wife is a fool." Mindy couldn't believe it when those words came tumbling out of her mouth, inadvertently mimicking Danny's words from earlier. "I… I…," she stuttered.

Danny laughed, hard, shaking his head in surprise at what Mindy had said, the laughter helping to turn his mood back around again quickly as Mindy chuckled at her forthright outburst, too. "You know what? You're right." He nodded his head. "She's a fool and my infection is gone and I'm going to buy every chocolate cream filled donut this place has and I'm going to enjoy every minute until they put me under and take a chunk of flesh out of my lower back and sew it on top of this hole and put me back on painkillers and antibiotics."

"Danny!" she exclaimed with a laugh at his little rant.

"What?"

"You're incorrigible!"

"So you've said." Danny beamed. For some reason, he loved it when she told him that. She made it sound like a good thing, as if she understood him deep inside and loved him for it. Where had that thought come from, he wondered.

"Seriously though, you were doing the donut thing again."

"I was?"

"You most certainly were. I don't understand how you can even begin to think that you're bad at relationships."

"Should I start with Rachel or Melissa?"

"Neither. You're missing the jelly. Start with your kids, with your sisters…"

"That's different. They're family."

"They're still good relationships, but okay, Steve then."

"Steve and I have been sent to mandatory counseling," Danny protested with a laugh.

Mindy smirked at that and shook her head. "Okay, then what about me?" Maybe that opening would help.

"What about you?" Danny replied, shifting in his seat to get a better look at her. "You're perfect."

Mindy lost her entire train of thought at that comment, almost lost control of the car. "Perfect?" It was the only thing she could manage to say. Danny thought she was perfect?

"Yeah. Seriously. I mean how could somebody not have a good relationship with you? You're beautiful and elegant and smart. You're incredibly kind and caring and patient. You're really good with people. My kids adore you. You stay composed in stressful situations, like when you're stuck in an elevator with a corpse and a claustrophobic cop. You're courageous and confident and humble and honest and you're so unbelievably authentic. You make everyone around you feel like a million bucks."

Mindy was rendered totally speechless. Danny had her at beautiful but then went right on with so many wonderful compliments. Tears came to her eyes. It always felt good when somebody complimented her but when somebody she truly cared about, somebody she was silently in love with, said such incredibly positive things about her the feeling was so amazing as to be beyond imagination.

"But, you're right," Danny went on, "I have to do a better job of recognizing the jelly donuts so I'm not going to even think about Rachel or Melissa or even the Neanderthal racing on rooftops and playing with grenades. And you're not going to think about unrequited love because you're perfect and love will come to you. Somebody who truly deserves the good woman you are. We're going to go have donuts for lunch and bring boxes of them back to your family because I bet each and every one of them is pretty amazing too."

With Danny's comment about love and perfection nestled into his happy rant, Mindy again found herself at a loss for words. They passed down a quiet, tree-lined street and Danny shook his head. "You see those signs?" he asked as he pointed out the window, still nearly bouncing with joy in his seat over the good news about the infection being gone. "Drive like your kids live here, it says. What do they want you to do? Park in their driveway?"

Still reeling blissfully from both Danny's good news and from his description of her, Mindy couldn't contain her laughter at Danny's little joke. She loved seeing Danny so incredibly cheerful. She wished he could always stay that way.

Later, with a box of chocolate creams, a box of jellys and a box of mixed donuts filling her car with a pleasant aroma, Mindy pulled up to the curb in front of Danny's house. "I had a really nice time," she said.

"Me too. We should do it again sometime. Not the doctor. I've had enough of doctors. Although she's really nice and much better looking than my other doctors but not as nice or good looking as you. But the donut part or just spending some time together, we should definitely do that again. If you want to that is. No pressure though."

"That sounds delightful. Thank you again for the donuts. My family will surely enjoy them. But, like I've warned you, they're going to want to meet the man who gave them to them."

"It's just some donuts as a thank you."

"Well, they've heard so much about you already that I think they'd like to meet you before they go back to the mainland. The donuts are just a bonus incentive."

Danny's detective's listening skills kicked in immediately. "What have they heard about me?"

Mindy suddenly realized that she was talking herself into a very delicate situation. She couldn't exactly say that she spoke so much about Danny that she was being teased about it. "Well, I kind of mentioned that I made one of my mom's recipes for you and the kids and then I told them about your appointment today. They've all been praying for you so they'll be so happy to hear your good news."

"Praying for me?"

"Well, when I told them about your injury, they said they'd pray for you."

"Wow." Danny's faith in prayer had been shaken to the core after Billy's drowning and had faltered altogether after his partner Grace's death and then his divorce, but that didn't prevent him from appreciating the true spirit in which prayers were said for another. "That's really thoughtful of them. Please, thank them for me."

"You can thank them yourself."

"Is that what you want? For me to meet them?" He would do that for Mindy.

Mindy smiled. "I think it would be nice. They'll like you, I'm sure."

"Steve says nobody likes me."

"Steve is a Neanderthal, remember?" Mindy laughed.

Danny laughed as well. "Okay," he said, indicating that they'd work something out.

"Okay," she agreed.

They looked at each other, each feeling the urge to lean over and kiss the other, each fighting it. Neither really sure why. Danny cleared his throat. Mindy bit her lower lip.

"I should go," Danny said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I'm glad Steve was busy."

"Me too," Mindy agreed.

With one last moment of hesitation Danny reached across his body and opened the door with his working left hand and struggled to his feet. Bending down he looked in the door and resisted the urge to say "I love you." "I'll call you," he said instead, smiling broadly.

"Can't wait," Mindy replied, with a smile just as wide.

He closed the door and with a final wave Mindy pulled away.

As he walked to his front door Danny wondered why it felt like they had just finished a first date. He replayed their parting conversation in his head. "I had a nice time," Mindy had said with a smile so sweet and genuine that it made Danny's heart melt.

"We should do it again sometime," Danny remembered saying, as if asking her out on a second date. Plus, he had agreed to meet her family because she really wanted them to meet. It all seemed so enchanting and idyllic, like some starry-eyed teenagers in a fairy-tale movie.

A thought popped into his intuitive detective's brain. Could the man she was secretly in love with possibly be him?

Stopping on his doorstep, Danny turned around just as Mindy's car turned the corner and out of sight, a sudden hopeful feeling washing over him.


	101. Chapter 101

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I'm sorry that I did not reply personally to all of you faithful reviewers. Please believe that I truly appreciate each one.

A/N I was almost ready to post a chapter last week and then the muse threw a monkey wrench into my story. I've been wrestling with it all week and I think I finally got it under control. Well, at least enough to post. I hope you like this chapter and don't come after me with pitchforks and cattle prods or something.

H50 H50 H50

True to his word, Danny agreed to meet Mindy's family. His worries about doing so not only held true but things proved even more difficult than he had imagined. "We've heard so much about you." "We've been praying for you since Mindy called us and told us about what happened to you. She was devastated." "How is your back?" "Any feeling in your arm?" "Mindy said the PT can be very painful for you." "Is your job always that dangerous?" "Tell us about your children." "You should have brought them with you."

What the hell was he doing?

Each one of them was just as kind and decent and caring as Mindy was, just as Danny had imagined. They all really seemed to like him, that much seemed certain. They made a point of having Danny and Mindy sit next to each other when they were all together, but her father pulled him aside for a short talk that left Danny wondering what exactly they thought his and Mindy's relationship was, or at least where it was headed.

What the hell had he done?

Jumbled thoughts tumbling around in his head, Danny was uncharacteristically quiet on their way back to his house.

What the hell was he going to do?

Finally, Mindy called him on it. "Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah. I'm fine." He adjusted his arm in the sling.

"Does your back hurt?"

"No more than usual."

"You're quiet."

"This will come as a surprise to some, but that happens sometimes."

Mindy didn't miss a beat. "Is it my family? Did they bother you?"

"No. No. Your family is amazing and kind, just like you."

They drove in silence for a short while. Their relationship was such that a comfortable, companionable silence was not unheard of, but this was different. This was awkward. Mindy could feel the unease. "It was a bad idea, wasn't it?" Mindy asked.

"Meeting your family? I told you, they're really nice people. I like all of them."

"But, having them meet you was a bad idea?" Their friendship was built on a foundation of trust and honesty. They could talk openly about anything so she ventured ahead with that straight forward question.

Danny hesitated, unsure of what to say. They were always honest with each other but he didn't want to hurt her. "You're my friend, Mindy, a really good friend."

"Exactly. We're friends, Danny. Please don't sugarcoat it. Tell me what you're thinking."

Danny sighed and nodded his head. "Yeah, I'm not sure it was a good idea. I mean, I like them and all and I guess they liked me well enough but…" He paused, trying to get this right.

"But...?" Mindy prompted, even though she was not sure she wanted to hear what he was going to say.

"But, I think maybe they have the wrong idea." He took a deep breath and said it. "I think maybe you have the wrong idea."

Embarrassed and flustered, Mindy lashed out a bit with a quick retort. "And what idea is that?"

Danny took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was to hurt Mindy. He needed to tread carefully. "Mindy, you are an amazing person. Your friendship means more to me than you can ever imagine. You have helped me through one of the most difficult times of my life and I can never repay you for that."

"I don't want you to repay me," Mindy said in a soft tone, having gathered her control back.

"I know. I know and I appreciate that, okay? I really do. Look, maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe I'm the one with the wrong idea so maybe I should be telling you what I think instead of what I think you're thinking."

"Okay, that's fine."

"I think we're dancing around each other. No. Wait, that's still speaking for you."

"Not really. You're telling me what you think, so go on." Mindy agreed with the statement but she left that unsaid.

Danny changed tack a little bit. "When we kissed, under the mistletoe, I wanted more. It was all I could do to stop. I was still dating Melissa and I had no right to think that way, no right to feel that way."

"You can't help your feelings, Danny, so you have every right to feel however you feel." She didn't mention the fact that she was happy he felt that way and that she had, in fact, felt the same thing. It didn't seem the right time to do that. She had to let Danny get his worries off his chest.

"Okay Doc." Danny grinned. "Listen, Melissa and I broke up not even a week ago, but I've felt like I've been cheating on her for a while now."

"But you shouldn't feel that way."

"We can't help our feelings, right? An amazing doctor told me that one time."

Now it was Mindy's turn to grin. "Fair enough. But, you shouldn't think that way, then."

"Just hear me out, okay?" Danny took a deep breath, wincing when he felt the pain in his back. Mindy had once told him that when someone hides the way they truly feel that it can be very hard to see through it. He didn't want to hide his feelings for Mindy any longer. He wanted her to know how he felt, even if he wasn't quite sure about it himself. "I have feelings for you Mindy. I didn't plan them. I didn't expect them, but they're there. They've been there from the moment I met you and every time I'm with you they get stronger and harder to fight."

"Why fight them at all?" Mindy wondered out loud.

"Because I was dating another woman."

"And now?"

Danny puffed out a breath of air. "Melissa and I were together for three years and we've been apart for just a week so I'm not in a good head space right now, a terrible head space actually. Throw in this hole in my back, the unrelenting pain and headaches, my useless arm, the lawsuit. My future is so uncertain. You know that old game "Don't Break the Ice"? I feel like I'm living my life on top of that game. One more hammer blow and boom, everything is gone."

Mindy nodded her head. None of this was really new, except for him admitting his feelings. But all the burdens piled on Danny's back, the fragility of his situation, she knew about that. She understood. "And on top of that your little girl is becoming a young woman," Mindy added, evidencing that she understood very well exactly what Danny was going through.

"You had to remind me?" Danny sighed. "Listen Mindy, my life is a mess and as much as things were pretty much over with Melissa for a while, I still need to wrap my head around exactly what happened there, along with helping Grace understand it all. She liked Melissa. This is a loss for her. And at some point I have to come to terms with the fact that my ex-wife lied to me for three years about Charlie, deprived me the privilege of helping choose his name or his godparents. Stan's brother is his godfather, for crying out loud. I've missed every milestone of the first three years of his life. Do you know that a child learns more in those first three years than they learn the rest of their life? I missed all that because someone who I thought still cared about me, someone I thought I could trust, someone I thought I knew, flat out lied, straight up stole it from me, stole my son from me. Like a three year kidnapping. I still can't…" Danny stopped talking and shook his head with a distressed growl and a painful stretch of his back. "This isn't about Rachel."

"But, it kind of is," Mindy said. "I get it. I really do. You're still trying to come to terms with how those two relationships went so far south."

"Exactly. Are you sure…"

Reading his mind, Mindy cut in with a laugh. "Yes, I'm sure I'm not a shrink."

"Your skills are wasted on dead people."

"I like to think I do a valuable service," Mindy replied, knowing that Danny wasn't insulting her career choice but rather giving her a backhanded compliment. It was part of who he was.

Danny nodded in agreement at that and then went on. "You're a great friend, Mindy, an amazing friend and I don't want to ruin that by acting on these other feelings and screwing everything up. I don't want to lose your friendship."

"We don't ever have to lose our friendship," Mindy promised.

"How can you say that? How can you know that? How can I believe that changing this relationship won't screw it up forever? I had feelings for Rachel and Gabby and Melissa and had my heart torn out and stomped on, my lungs squeezed so tight I couldn't breathe. This seems different, it really does, but these feelings, they scare the hell out of me and I guess maybe I've misled you because I have absolutely no intention of acting on my feelings ever again. We're friends yes, but beyond that - I'm done. Finished. I'm sorry if that hurts you but you should go out and find yourself a good man with his head on straight who can give you all the love you so richly deserve because I'm becoming a monk." With those words, Danny sat back in his seat and felt his heart break in a way he had never felt before - not with Melissa's traumatic issues, Gabby's departure or even Rachel's multiple betrayals.

He was doing the right thing, he knew he was. Relationships brought heartache and pain. Avoiding them was the smart thing to do. He'd feel better that way. Yet, he couldn't imagine feeling any worse than he did at this moment. He looked down, half expecting to see his heart there in a thousand pieces on the floor.

They drove in silence for a few minutes as they both processed what Danny had just said. "I'm sorry," Danny whispered finally when they stopped in front of his house, knowing that he had just ruined the best chance he'd ever have at a truly loving, eternal relationship with a woman.

"Me too," Mindy whispered back.

"Matty would say that I'm a coward," Danny said, making no attempt to open the car door and leave. There was still unfinished business here.

"I take it that Matty wasn't too experienced in matters of the heart?"

"Unfortunately, he was a little too self-absorbed to focus on a relationship."

"He would have been wrong, though," Mindy challenged. "You have every right to be afraid. You've been hurt, badly, more than once. What you are my dear friend is a wounded lion and I unintentionally cornered you."

"But you…"

"Nope. My turn." She looked at him. His brow was furrowed as it always was when he was stressed or worried. She longed to see the laugh lines that would form by his eyes when he was happy. She sighed softly. "Danny, those feelings you're talking about. I feel them, too. But for me, this is all new. I've waited all my life to feel this way. I've dated. I've had a steady boyfriend or two but I honestly have never felt this way before. That kiss under the mistletoe was the most amazing kiss of my life and all I could think of was that if you made me feel that way as a friend, what would it feel like if we were together. So when I found out that you and Melissa were done, well I guess I jumped a bit too soon at the chance to try and find out. With my family here, I couldn't help myself talking about you. The thought of introducing you to my family was consuming me, kind of like Grace wanting to meet that actor, but I didn't think about how it would feel for you and I'm sorry for that. I really didn't mean to back you into a corner or push you into anything you didn't want."

"I never said I didn't want it," Danny corrected her. "I just know I can't ever have it. Life doesn't work that way for me and I can't screw things up for you like that."

"Donuts," Mindy said. "Keep counting your jelly and chocolate cream donuts. When you're ready, I'll be here. You are very special to me, you're worth waiting for and I'm not going anywhere."

"You say that now," Danny told her, afraid that when she got home and thought it over he'd lose her friendship forever.

"I've waited all my life for a good man. Now that I've found him, I don't want to lose him."

Still anxious about it all, he opened the car door and slipped out. "Goodbye Mindy."

"Goodbye Danny."

Danny headed inside, feeling like the world had crashed around him yet again. With nothing else to do, he buried himself in the paperwork piled up on his table.

He worked for hours and now he was close. He knew he was close. There was a certain feeling he would get when the pieces of a puzzle began fitting together and the picture was becoming clear, when his mind was putting together several disparate pieces of evidence and figuring out what they meant. He liked that feeling. It was a high like no other and it made him focus even harder, focusing all of his mental faculties and senses on this one endeavor. That's why he could never delve into case related files when his kids were around because they deserved his complete attention.

But it was New Year's Eve and Charlie was with Rachel and Stan, and Grace was going to a party two doors down from Rachel's house and he had screwed things up with Mindy while trying to avoid screwing things up with Mindy because he was a coward or a wounded lion or maybe just a complete idiot. For all those reasons, he was alone and focused on this file. Police files were all maintained on the computer these days, but Danny was a bit old school and sometimes he needed good old fashioned paper files to go through, like now.

He picked up the lab results again. Something there didn't sit right. He knew it. He could feel it. The connection niggled at the back of his mind and he knew it would all fall in place soon. Putting down the lab results, he picked up the witness list. He wasn't quite sure why he was looking at each of these things but he was allowing his instincts to take over. That's how he worked, that's how he had more than 80 homicide convictions to his credit as a very young detective in Newark, New Jersey, before he ever came to this pineapple infested hell-hole he now called home.

He put down the witness list and picked up the statement of one of the witnesses and began to read it again. His mind was not focused on the fact that he had read this statement repeatedly over the last few weeks, as he had with everything else in the file. His mind was not focused on the fact that this same witness statement must have been read repeatedly by several officers and detectives in the Baltimore Police Department. Right now Danny's mind was focused solely on that statement itself. Everything else was pushed aside, figuratively, not literally. The table in front of him remained quite organized.

He focused harder, closing his mind to everything else, putting everything into finding that elusive piece of the evidence puzzle.

Danny was close. He knew he was close. He didn't even hear his own front door open.


	102. Chapter 102

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N So sorry it has taken so long to post. I'm trying to get back to some consistency but it isn't easy. Real life, good and not so good, just keeps eating up my time.

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Steve pulled up in front of Danny's house and tapped out a quick text, "outside". When Danny didn't emerge promptly, he looked at his phone again, noting now that Danny had never even acknowledged his text telling him that he was on his way. He dialed Danny's cell and let it ring, thinking maybe he had dozed off and didn't hear the text. His partner wasn't napping much anymore since the sleep-inducing pain killers and energy-sapping infection were gone, but he was still healing so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. He knew that the kids had been with Danny for the last few days and young Charlie especially could be tiring. When the call rang through to voice mail, Steve ended the call and got out of the truck.

At the front door, Steve turned the knob, the nice new shiny one that Danny's friends had put in when they made the front door accessible to Danny despite his one arm handicap. It was locked. He knocked and rang the bell a few times as he pulled his keys from his pocket. Where was Danny? Why wasn't he answering his phone or the door?

Heart rate beginning to rise, Steve juggled his keys and, finding the correct one, unlocked Danny's door, trying not to worry as he stepped through. The last time something like this had happened, they had finally located Danny in the Emergency Room at the hospital after he had saved Melissa's life. It was sad and a relief at the same time. What was going on now? Danny had been through so much the last couple months and he simply couldn't begin to fathom his best friend having to face another hurdle, especially now that they were ready to finally close the wound.

"Danny?" Steve called out as he stepped in. "Danno?" Hearing no reply, Steve paused for a moment. Hearing a sound coming from the dining area, he reached his hand to his hip where he normally carried his service piece. Finding his hip empty, as they were headed to ring in the New Year rather than ring the bell of some bad guy, he put his hand down and stepped cautiously before peering around the corner.

Letting out a deep sigh of relief, Steve stepped around the corner and took in the scene. Danny was seated at the dining room table virtually surrounded by papers, files and photos. He held his pen between his teeth. Steve knew that was a new habit Danny had picked up for when he worked since his arm had been out of commission. It was easier than putting it down and having to find it again each time he picked up a new file or turned a page. "Hey buddy," he said again. Danny put down one paper and picked up another, reviewed that for a minute and then looked again at the first one, not reacting at all to Steve's presence.

"Danny?" Steve called out louder, only mildly surprised that he was getting no response. He had seen Danny like this before, completely absorbed in what he was doing. "Danny?"

Finally, Danny startled and he looked up abruptly at Steve before quickly shifting his gaze back to the paper.

"Whatcha looking at?" Steve asked.

Danny put the paper down, pulled the pen out of his mouth as if he was going to reply and tossed it on the table. A quick glance at Steve with his mouth apparently set to reply turned into a thoughtful look. Steve could practically see the gears turning in his partner's head. Without saying a word, Danny then picked up the other paper again.

"Can I help you with something?" Steve asked.

Dropping the paper, Danny shook his left hand towards Steve and uttered a few incomprehensible sounds as his gaze passed back and forth from the one paper to the other and then to a third as they laid before him.

Steve understood now that Danny was very close to some kind of breakthrough discovery in his analysis of the paperwork. His heart rate quickened again, excited at the prospect of putting Gabriel Waincroft and his cohort away for the horrible mass of crimes they had perpetrated against the innocent people of Hawaii.

"Right there," Danny finally said, tapping energetically on one of the pages. "It's right there. That has to be it."

Steve stepped over, eager to see what Danny had found. Expecting to see financial pages indicating some kind of money trail, he was surprised to see a lab report. "Huh?"

"That lying son of a bitch," Danny growled emphatically. "That lying, murdering son of a bitch."

"Murder? You were able to pin a murder on Gabriel? Or one of his men?"

"No. No." Danny shook his head. "I need to call him." He shifted a few papers.

"Whoa, wait a minute. Call who? What are you talking about? What did you find?" Steve knew he was missing something here.

Danny finally slowed down enough to focus on Steve. Puffing his cheeks, he let out a long breath. "Come here. Take a look at this and see if I'm right." Danny pointed to the appropriate spot on the lab report and then the lines in the witness statement, that he now believed were entirely contradictory, and then to another police report.

"I don't see it," Steve admitted. "What's this have to do with Gabriel?"

"No, no, not Gabriel. Oh crap, you don't know."

"Know what?"

Danny indicated for Steve to sit down in a chair and then began to speak. "Mindy's best friend in college died just days before graduation."

"Oh right, and Mindy was the last one with her. Her friend was found dead in a river with no water in her lungs but they declared it an accidental drowning anyway."

"How do you know all this?" Danny was really surprised.

"She told me."

Danny looked at him curiously. He didn't realize that Steve and Mindy had such personal talks and honestly, it kind of bothered him. "Oh."

Steve realized that Danny was feeling jealous so he set out quickly to explain. "It was the evening we all had dinner together. You had that nerve attack and we were in here. She told me that you two had become close after you expressed concern for her one day and then she told you about her friend."

"Susan."

"Yeah, Susan."

Danny nodded his head in acceptance. That sounded innocent enough. "Okay."

"So, what's all this? You decided to look into it yourself." That last part was a statement. Steve knew Danny, knew he couldn't leave a puzzle like this alone, especially if it meant something to somebody he cared about. And Steve was most certain that Danny cared about Mindy very much.

"Yeah, I tried calling the Baltimore PD but couldn't get much of anywhere until Tony put me in touch with a friend of his there."

"You told Tony Archer about this and not me?"

Danny gave an exasperated sigh at Steve's jealous response. "I just asked him if he had any connections there. How many friends do you have in the Detective bureau at BPD?"

Steve didn't answer but was assuaged by the logic. "Does Mindy know?"

"No. I haven't told her anything and I don't intend to. If they arrest this guy, she'll get a call."

Steve nodded at Danny's humility and then flicked his head towards the papers. "Show me."

Over the next ten minutes or so, Danny carefully explained what he found that he felt would break the case wide open and finally bring some justice for Susan Landon. Steve agreed that Danny was likely onto something there.

"They have to reopen this. This killer has been walking around free for over ten years. I have to call him," Danny said of the Baltimore Detective who had obtained and sent him the files from the cold case.

"Danny, it's eight o'clock" Steve objected. "What's the time difference?"

"It's 2am in Baltimore.".

"On New Year's day," Steve stressed.

"Cops don't get holidays off," Danny pointed out. "If you're on duty, you're on duty. It's worth a try."

Steve rose from his seat and called Lynn while waiting for Danny to end his call.

"He was in; switched me over to the Detective who had been in charge of the case," Danny told Steve when he hung up. "I had to leave a message for him though. The guy that helped me wanted to stay out of it," Danny added with a knowing laugh.

"What's his problem?" Steve asked.

"Cops get pissed when somebody walks all over their crime scene, babe," Danny creatively explained, with a reference to how the two of them had first met.

Steve smirked and gave an understanding nod.

"No worries though. I can mollify him."

"Mollify? Reading the dictionary again?"

"Can I help it if I have an extensive vocabulary?" Danny stood up and tenderly stretched, wincing as he did so. He wasn't in debilitating pain anymore but that did not mean he was pain free, especially since he was no longer taking the heavy duty pain medications for fear of becoming hooked.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

Danny closed his eyes and let his breath out slowly, battling the pain. "Yes, I'm okay, mom."

Steve smiled fondly. "As soon as you're cleared for desk duty, you're coming back to work, you know."

Danny opened his eyes and looked at Steve. He quirked a smile. "You hijacking me again?"

"Just your brain, since at least that part of you is still working." Their relationship was built on teasing words and the pretense of disrespect. Steve figured Danny would understand the backhanded compliment and come back at him in his own characteristic caustic way. He wasn't disappointed.

"At least my brain is working? My brain is always working. I'd like to see your brain working for once," Danny replied in laughter as he pushed the pain behind him and used his left hand to give Steve a friendly shove towards the door. "Let's go pick up Lynn before she wisens up and dumps you."


	103. Chapter 103

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N I'm not entirely happy with this chapter but I can't post again for at least another week so I'm going with it as is.

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In the car on the way to Lynn's house, Steve opened the subject that Danny had hoped to avoid. With eyebrows raised and a smirk on his lips he spoke. "So did you really go to Mindy's house and meet her parents?"

Danny kept his response simple, hoping to avoid a bigger conversation about it. "Yeah. Nice people."

"Did her father show you his shotgun and threaten to do bodily harm if you hurt his daughter?" Steve chuckled.

"No Steven. He did not. Mindy and I are just friends."

Steve laughed sarcastically. "Just friends, sure. You and I are just friends. You and Lou are just friends. You and Mindy…" He left the rest unsaid.

"Shut up."

"That's the best you've got? Shut up?" He glanced over at Danny now, noticing the dejected look. "What happened, Danny?"

Danny was silent for a minute and Steve waited, glancing over repeatedly as he drove.

"Will you keep your eyes on the road, please?" Danny barked.

"Talk to me and I'll keep my eyes on the road," Steve said, taking another long look over.

There was more silence and again, returning his eyes to the road, Steve waited until finally Danny spoke because, sooner or later, Danny always spoke. "I can't do it."

"Can't do what?"

"Mindy. I can't. She's perfect. She's amazing," Danny stuttered.

"She's crazy about you, although for the life of me I don't know why," Steve added.

Danny sighed. "But I can't."

"Can't what exactly, Danny? Stop being so cryptic."

Danny sighed. "I can't start another relationship."

"Tell me you didn't say that to Mindy. Please tell me you didn't say that to Mindy."

Danny remained silent.

"You and Melissa ended things, what, six days ago? You need time, that's all. That's what you said, that you need some time, right?

"No. Time won't help. I'll just screw things up with her, destroy our friendship, f*&k up her life. I can't do that to her. I can't do that to Grace again. Or to Charlie. I'm going to put Grace in a convent and Charlie and I will become monks." Danny shifted in his seat towards the window.

"I wonder what Rachel will think about that."

"Like she's an icon of relationship success?" Danny's voice rose, becoming riled.

"What exactly did you tell Mindy?" Steve asked, ignoring Danny's rhetorical question.

"That I value her friendship and I'm becoming a monk."

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"It's better for everybody."

"You sure about that buddy?"

"No," Danny answered honestly, deflating. He shifted in his seat to look more towards his partner. "No, I'm not, okay? I thought I was but I'm not. Mindy is perfect, Steve, amazingly perfect and for some reason she really truly cares about me and wants a relationship with me."

"What did Mindy say when you told her how you feel?"

"She said I was a wounded lion."

"A wounded lion?" Steve didn't get it.

"Yeah and that she had cornered me with meeting her family and she was sorry. She said she understood I need to sort things out about Melissa and Rachel. She said..." Danny paused, clearing his throat. "She said I was worth waiting for and that she wasn't going anywhere." Danny smiled despite the powerful confusion and sadness threatening to show. "Donuts," he thought to himself. "Chocolate cream."

"There. See? Just relax buddy. Give it time. No convents or monk places yet."

"Monastery, it's called a monastery."

"Okay, monastery. I'm warning you, though, I'm not going to visit you in a monastery."

"Now you're really tempting me to join a monastery. No Rambo means nobody will be shooting at me. Nice, quiet, safe. Plus, they're usually up in the mountains somewhere which means no ocean, no pounding surf."

"No cities, no buildings, no cars, no crowds…"

"Yeah, there are drawbacks," the city boy responded with a smirk as they pulled up in front of Lynn's house, effectively ending the conversation.

When they arrived at the Hilton Rooftop Bar with Lynn, the whole gang was there already. Only Chin had seen him since the good news had come from the doctor and so Kono nearly barrelled Danny over in her excitement to see him.

"Hey other boss. I'm so happy for you," Kono said as she approached, speaking of the news that the doctors were finally going to close the wound.

Danny grinned broadly. "I know. You told me probably 20 times on the phone."

"But I missed something over the phone," Kono responded with a smile. Immediately both friends reached for the other, Danny with one arm and Kono with two, pulling each other into a firm yet caring hug. "I can't think of a better way to end the year," Kono said when they pulled away and he kissed her on the cheek the way he always did.

"Oh, really now?" Adam questioned from behind her. Danny glanced over her shoulder and raised his eyebrows at Kono's husband who gave a wide smile. "It's okay, brah," he assured Danny. "I'm not offended. I'm happy for you, too." As Kono stepped away he extended his left hand to Danny and pulled him into a man hug.

"My turn!" Lou's wife declared, stepping in after Adam and giving Danny a hug of her own. "Are you ready for some more home cooking?" she then asked him. Danny had thoroughly enjoyed all of the meals that Renee had sent for him and the kids over the past couple months.

"As long as it's you doing the cooking and not him," Danny replied, tossing a grin at Lou before addressing Renee again. "I have dreams about your chicken and biscuits."

"As long as it's only her biscuits you're dreaming of, Jersey," Lou retorted with pretend bluster.

"Lou Grover, I can't believe you said that," Renee chastised as she stepped back to her husband's side.

Danny laughed when Renee good naturedly slapped her husband's arm. "Trust me Renee, my dreams are totally pure."

The team was seated and drinks were ordered and brought to the table. Happy to take advantage of his temporary drinking ability, Danny sighed audibly when he picked up his ice cold Longboard. "Ahhhhh. To the new year. May it be better than this past one," he said before lifting the chilled glass to his lips. The ohana all drank to that before settling in to an evening of drinking, eating and ohana while they waited to ring in the new year..

"Gotta go water the garden," Danny said after dinner and more beer. He was glad when nobody asked if he needed help. Having Steve cut up the steak from his Surf & Turf was embarrassing enough. While appreciative that he had good friends who cared and were willing to help in any way he needed, he was ecstatic that he no longer needed help going to the men's room. There was much of his hospital stay that Danny didn't remember, but needing Steve's help to relieve himself was crystal clear. Steve had never mentioned it again, but Danny knew that Steve remembered it as clearly as he did. He pushed that thought aside as he entered the men's room.

When he was finished, he stepped to the door and reached for the handle only to have it burst open violently, the door jamming into his outstretched hand and causing him to stumble backwards, his back slamming into the wall behind him. Loud, angry words accompanied the startling activity.

"What the hell, Nohea? You can't get your own girlfriend so you have to try and steal mine?"

His left wrist hurting from the force of the door and his back from the contact with the wall, Danny turned to look. A tall, beefy native Hawaiian male was pushing both hands into the chest of a much smaller native Hawaiian man, propelling him backwards.

Danny estimated the aggressor to be about 6 feet, four inches and around 250 pounds. He was easily bigger than Lou but all muscle. Shit. The smaller man was taller than Danny, but thinner and without muscle. Some would call him mousy.

"What are you talking about Maleko? I didn't do anything," said the thin man.

"I saw you with her," the bigger man growled as he wrapped his left hand around the smaller man's throat and pushed him against the wall, "whispering in her ear."

"Let me go," Nohea squeaked.

Danny took a deep breath and stepped closer, his heart pounding in his chest, his wrist throbbing and his back hurting. There was nobody else around right now to help this man who looked completely incapable of defending himself. If he left the men's room to get Steve and the team or somebody else, who knew what the big man would do?

Danny was alone, unarmed, with a hole in his back, one aching arm, one useless one and no back-up, but he had no choice but to help. He had to be smart, though. He couldn't take the man on physically; he'd have to use his brain. He'd try and defuse things. "Hey buddy."


	104. Chapter 104

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters (except Maleko and Nohea).

A/N Real life presented me with a dilemma again - use my limited time to reply to reviews or to post. I hope I chose wisely by deciding to post. You guys are absolutely awesome. I have the most loyal readers imaginable. I genuinely appreciate each and every review, signed or not. Your kind words and enthusiasm for this story honestly surprise and encourage me. I am deeply humbled. Mahalo.

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"Go away, brah. This is private business," the large man growled angrily while the thin man looked at Danny with beseeching eyes.

"Well, actually, this is a public place, is it not?" Danny replied good naturedly as he stepped closer to the pair while using his left hand to once again check his pockets for his phone. Although he knew that he had left it on the table he had some bizarre hope that it would suddenly materialize out of nowhere now that he needed it. No such luck. When the man did not reply to his question, Danny answered for him. "Why yes, it is a public place! Ergo it's not private business so I'm not going anywhere. Now, why don't you let your friend go like he's asking?"

"I have to teach him a lesson brah, make him understand that you shouldn't go around stealing your friend's girlfriend." Hands now on either side of the smaller man's head, he leaned right into his face causing him to try and shrink back, but there was no where to go.

"He said he didn't do anything," Danny reasoned, taking one step closer.

"I don't believe him," the man growled.

"We were just talking, Maleko. I'd never do that to you, brah. You know that," the other man pleaded.

"See, Maleko. They were just talking, Now, why don't you just back away?" Danny kept his voice firm and steady and his arm tucked just under his sling.

"Why don't you back off, blondie?"

"I can't do that Maleko."

"Why not?" Maleko growled, intimidatingly.

But, Danny was used to big, intimidating lugs so he just pressed on. "It's my hana," he replied, using a Hawaiian word.

"Your duty? I don't care about your duty, haole. Back off."

"I told you, I can't do that." His wrist aching, Danny reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, flipping it open. "I'm a police officer, Maleko and I need you to let him go."

"You don't look like no cop," Maleko said, but he backed up slightly as he turned to look at Danny.

"Well, I am. Why don't you come over here and take a look at my badge to see for yourself." He held it in his left hand, arm bent so the wallet was near his left shoulder, wincing as he twisted his wrist.

Maleko hesitated for just a second before answering. "I'm kind of busy, brah."

Keeping a calm, composed, professional demeanor, Danny turned his head to look at the other man now. "Nohea. I'm Danny. Maleko here…"

Maleko turned abruptly, removing one hand from the wall, and glanced again at Danny's badge before interrupting with his realization. "You're that Five-0 guy."

Danny stifled a sigh. He really didn't like being "that Five-0 guy". Now would come the pity for his severe injury and the (so far) loss of the use of his arm. He couldn't stand the pity and he much preferred having his anonymity and privacy. But, if it kept Maleko's mind off of the guy against the wall, he'd go with it. "Yeah."

"You're a serious badass, brah."

"I am?" Danny asked, surprised. That was quite different from the pity most people hoisted on him.

"You got stabbed in the back and you're still walking and talking and the dude that did it is in jail. Serious badass, brah. Can you move your arm yet? Newspapers say you can't use your arm. What muscle was cut? Rhomboid? Trapezius?"

Danny was seeing a whole different side of Maleko than what the first glimpse of the big man had provided. He sounded intelligent and informed. "Maleko, I'm not going to stand here and talk about me while you have your friend there pinned against the wall." He indicated Nohea with a nod of his head.

Maleko turned and looked at Nohea now as if seeing him for the first time.

"You need to let him leave," Danny pressed.

The big man pulled his other hand off of the wall and took a step back, guilt replacing the anger. "Nohea, I don't know what got into me, brah"

"I'm sorry, Maleko. We were just talking. Seriously," Nohea answered.

Danny breathed a huge sigh of relief as the two of them shook hands apologetically. Nobody was hurt so Danny was content with the outcome. He slipped his wallet back into his pocket, rotating his wrist to try and relieve the ache. The situation was different, but he knew the feeling of being blinded by rage. An image of Marco Reyes passed before his eyes and he had to shake his head to try and rid himself of it.

"You going to arrest me?" Maleko asked, pulling Danny out of his thoughts.

"You want to press charges?" Danny asked Nohea.

The thin man shook his head, no. "It was just a misunderstanding," he said, defending his friend.

"No, I'm not going to arrest you," Danny told Maleko, "but try using your brains instead of your brawn from now on."

"Thanks brah," The large man now looked at Danny's left arm which he was cradling next to his chest. "You okay? Did I do that?"

Danny looked at his aching wrist. It appeared to be slightly swollen. "I'm fine."

"He's a paramedic," Nohea said. "Maybe you should let him take a look at your arm."

Danny looked from Nohea to Maleko to his wrist. It really did ache. "Yeah, yeah sure. Okay."

Maleko did an evaluation of Danny's wrist and determined that it was probably a sprain, in his unofficial opinion, that is. "You should probably get it x-rayed, though, just to be sure."

Danny sighed as he rotated the wrist. It was just hit by a door, not a car or something. It couldn't be broken, could it? He thought of his friends outside and how a trip to the ER would ruin everybody's New Year's Eve. "It doesn't hurt that bad," he said honestly. Then again, pain had become a constant companion so everything was relative.

"Put some ice on it. If it starts to swell a lot or feels worse, get an x ray. I'm really sorry, brah."

"'I'm fine, really," Danny assured him. "Consider some anger management or something. I know the Fire Department offers it."

"I will." Maleko extended his beefy left hand out, gently enveloping Danny's injured one. "You are one seriously gutsy badass brah."

"Or seriously stupid," Danny replied, looking up into the face of the much larger man. He knew that this situation could have turned out much, much worse but he had done what he had to do. Actually though, it made him feel good. Professionally speaking (the Mindy conversation aside) he was having a good day. He had found what he thought was a major breakthrough in the search for Susan Landon's killer that numerous other detectives hadn't found and he had protected Nohea and stopped the big beast of a man, Maleko, from doing something he would have regretted later. Danny's right arm still didn't work but the rest of his skills were still there.

"Nothing stupid about it. What you did took guts. You're half my size."

"Don't need to remind me."

They headed back to the open air seating, Maleko and Nohea saying goodbye when Danny reached his table.

"Who was that?" Steve asked as Danny sat down.

"Just somebody I met."

"They help you with your zipper or something?" Lou asked, resulting in another smack in the arm from Renee. "You've been gone a while."

"You're timing me now?" Danny griped.

"Maybe he fertilized along with watering that garden," Steve joked. He'd been waiting a while to use that one.

"I seriously hate you," Danny grumbled as the others laughed.

"Hey brah, they're pointing you out to their friends," Adam said, looking over at where the two men had sat down.

"Definitely the zipper," Lou said, leaning away so Renee didn't smack him again.

"Come on Danny. What happened?" Kono asked.

"They just found out that I'm with Five-0," Danny replied, trying to keep it simple.

"Seriously?" Kono knew there was more to it than that.

Danny looked at her caring, curious eyes and relented, telling them the story of the brief encounter but leaving out any mention of his wrist. He really, truly did not want to to ruin anybody's New Years Eve having to bring him to the Emergency Room to get it checked.

"Why didn't you call me?" Steve asked, perturbed.

Danny nodded his chin to where his phone still rested on the table, far away from where he had needed it. "My super Ninja skills are lacking."

"That guy is huge. He could have eaten you alive," Chin protested.

"Give me a little credit," Danny retorted. "I can handle myself."

"You see, he used his brains," Lou said in Danny's defense. He then pointed at Steve. "His partner there would have tried to use his brawn and got eaten alive."

Steve looked over his shoulder at the man in question. He was definitely bigger and more muscular than Steve. "He's not so big," he claimed.

"I've said it before, Jersey. You're the brains," Lou said, shaking his head.

As the joking and teasing continued, Danny relished in the moment, surrounded by his ohana, reminded twice that day that his brain was still working just fine and that he really did still have something good to contribute to the team. He still held out hope that he'd regain use of his arm but in the meantime he could still be productive.

A waitress came over with a plastic bag filled with ice and handed it to Danny, telling him that the big man at the other table had pleaded with her to bring it over. Not wanting to make a scene, Danny accepted the offering and then turned and nodded his thanks to Maleko.

Not surprisingly, Steve wouldn't let it go at that. "What's that all about?"

Danny shrugged. "Nothing."

"What didn't you tell us?" Kono asked.

"Nothing, mom," Danny retorted.

"You've been favoring your left arm," Steve said, looking closely now as Danny rested his left forearm in his lap, ice pack on the table.

"Favoring it? Of course I've been favoring it. It's the only one that works."

"Let me see it," Steve demanded.

"No. I'm fine."

"Let me see it," Steve demanded again as he reached out and grabbed Danny's left arm.

"Easy. Easy," Danny pleaded, giving in rather than trying to wrestle his sore arm away. "It's nothing. I was going out when they were coming in. He pushed the door kind of hard. I got in the way. The guy just feels guilty and he's exaggerating."

Steve manipulated Danny's wrist much as Maleko had, observing carefully as Danny stifled a grimace. Only partially satisfied that it wasn't anything that needed an ER visit, Steve picked up the bag of ice and slapped it onto Danny's wrist, perhaps a tad harder than he needed to. "Keep the ice on and next time, tell me the whole story."

The hours ticked by and then it was midnight. Chin turned to Abby, Kono turned to Adam, Lou turned to Renee, Steve turned to Lynn.

Danny picked up his phone and before he could one handedly type out his New Year's message to his daughter, two messages came in quick succession..

"Happy New Year Danno. I love you."

"I love you more, Monkey," he typed back to his daughter.

"May your new year be filled with chocolate cream donuts," said the other message.

Danny smiled, his heart full of joy at this touching gesture from Mindy. Despite what he had said in the car earlier that day, she had thought of him first at midnight. Maybe he hadn't totally destroyed everything with her. Maybe they could still be friends. Maybe, he allowed himself to think, if she would wait while his heart healed like she said she would they could actually be more than friends. He surprised himself how much he wanted that.

He was becoming rather adept at handling his phone and texting one-handed but the sore wrist slowed him down. Smiling through his clenched teeth, he tapped out a reply as fast as he could. "And many more for you." He sent the message and then tapped out another. "We'll go for donuts again; I promise."

A smiley face was the quick reply followed by a message. "I'll hold you to it, Leo."

Danny smiled, understanding the reference of the name Leo to mean him as the wounded lion and her promise to wait for him to heal. Clever and subtle and incredibly caring and loyal. Man, how he loved that about her.


	105. Chapter 105

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

A/N Continued prayers for all those affected by hurricanes Harvey and Irma. Looks like we're next in line with Jose. Hope he stays small.

H50 H50 H50

"Please Danno? Please? You said you'd teach me. You pwomised." Charlie begged dramatically with the all-encompassing drama of a preschooler. He was pleading his case while pacing back and forth behind his father who was unloading the dishwasher one-handedly.

Danny sighed with slightly less drama. Charlie was right, Danny had promised to teach him how to ride a bike. That promise was made, however, right before he'd been stabbed (and before he'd subsequently hurt his one working wrist), and while Charlie did understand that his Danno had a bad boo-boo, he didn't quite understand the limitations it caused.

"You can use that hand," Charlie said, pointing to the hand Danny was using to load the dishwasher. "You do everything with that hand." While impressed with his young son's observational and problem solving skills, Danny couldn't help but feel that maybe it served him right for working so hard to adapt.

"It's not that simple, Charlie," Grace told him with all the teen inflection that a big sister can provide as she dried the occasional still-damp dish that her father handed to her. "You're so stupid."

"Grace," Danny admonished, as Charlie began to cry.

"I'm not stupid. You're stupid," Charlie shouted back, stomping his foot and pointing at her for emphasis.

"Freeze, both of you," Danny shouted over the bickering clatter, pleased when they both responded. Danny took a deep, settling breath as he dried his hand on a towel.

"She called me stupid," Charlie stated emphatically, his lower lip turned down in a dramatic pout.

"Tiger," Danny returned with an exasperated sigh, "I said freeze."

"But…"

"No buts." He looked at Grace, knowing that his look to her would convey his disappointment even more than his words ever could. "Both of you know better, don't you?" Both children looked appropriately chastised despite their silence so Danny went on. "So, what do you need to say to each other?"

"Sorry," they both mumbled with a sibling's false enthusiasm.

Well aware, having grown up with several siblings of his own, that he wasn't going to get any better reply than that, Danny wisely moved on. "Come here, Tiger." Stepping away from the dishwasher, he took his son's small hand in his own and pulled him to him as he sat in a kitchen chair. Charlie settled between his legs, leaning back against one leg to look up at his father with his big brown eyes. Danny wrapped his left arm around the boy lovingly. "You remember that I was injured?"

"Uh huh," Charlie nodded affirmatively and went on with simple, preschooler logic. "That arm doesn't work so you use the other one."

Danny hadn't made an issue of the sprained wrist to his son so the boy didn't even address that as an issue. Therefore, neither did Danny. He smiled. His son's pure confidence in him was a balm to his weary soul. "You're right. I can use my other arm for many things…"

"So, let's go," Charlie responded impatiently.

Grace mumbled something from over by the sink and Danny shot her a look before looking at Charlie again, ready to explain why he couldn't teach him to ride his bike today, why he wouldn't be able to teach him to ride his bike for a long time to come. He thought that Stan might like to teach him. He had remained an integral part of the boy's life and was still bestowed with the coveted title of Daddy so it would make sense. There was something inside Danny that just couldn't accept that idea though.

He knew, however, that he could enlist Steve. Charlie loved his Uncle Steve. He could also ask Kono or Adam. Mindy would be glad to help. Maybe even Lou - if he could move quick enough.

He didn't utter a word though as he looked closely at his son. The boy's big brown eyes, that clearly matched his sister's, definitely came from Rachel, but the rest of him was all Williams, right down to the unruly blond hair.

A sudden image popped into Danny's head, a recollection of one of the happiest days of his life. They were in the parking lot of the fire station, his father and him, so many years ago and so far away, yet clear as day. Crammed and chaotic Newark, NJ streets were no place to teach a young boy how to ride a bicycle so Eddie Williams had stuffed the small bike in the back of the family station wagon and brought Danny here. The trucks were all parked inside so there was a decent amount of space for a small boy to learn. The bike was a hand-me-down from a family friend but Danny's spirits were brighter than the dull finish on the frame.

His father held onto the back of the seat and helped him balance on the bike as he encouraged him to keep pedalling. It didn't take long at all before Danny was riding that bike in circles all around that lot, a huge smile gracing his father's face. "That's my boy," Eddie proudly told the third watch firefighters who had gathered to observe. Eddie worked the second watch from 7am to 3pm and so he didn't know these firefighters well but the firefighters were like brothers to each other and so they all took pride in this father-son accomplishment.

Danny enjoyed the cheers of the other men and relished the fact that he had now learned to ride a bike before his best friend Billy but it was the look on his father's face that stayed with him, the sense of accomplishment, the joy of having done this together. To this day, every time he got on a bike Danny remembered that his father was the one who taught him to ride.

The boy looked back at him with eager anticipation but his face fell when Danny didn't respond for so long, marring the perfect features with sadness.

Danny's heart fell at the thought of losing out on this cherished father-son tradition because of this injury. He had lost too much already. His heart broke at the sight of his son's beautiful eager face changing to sadness and disappointment and he strengthened his resolve. He would do this. He wasn't quite sure how, but he would try and do this.

"I tell you what, Tiger. We'll give it a try…"

"Danno…" Grace questioned as she turned away from the cabinet.

"We'll try," Danny emphasized as he looked at Charlie. "I really don't know if I can do this with one hand. You're going to have to work really, really hard and be very brave."

"I'll be brave like you, Danno," the boy promised with the undying hero worship of a young son.

"And work really, really hard," Danny said. When Charlie nodded his head emphatically, he went on. "And be a very, very good listener. The best you've ever been."

Charlie's mouth twitched, suddenly a bit unsure. "I'll try."

"And even so, I still might not be able to do it," Danny warned gently.

"You can do it Danno. Unca Steve says you're the greatest."

Danny exchanged a look with Grace, surprised by that comment from his son. "He does, huh?"

"Yep," Charlie said matter of factly. To him it was obvious and no big deal. "Can we go now?"

The first step was to take the training wheels off of the bike, an old lime green one that Danny had bought at a yard sale when Grace was young. Both children had shiny new ones at the Edward's residence but settled for older models here without complaint. Charlie was true to his word and rolled the bike out of the garage and fetched the tools and helped in any and every way he was asked. Danny had to provide the brute strength it required to loosen the bolts but Charlie willingly stepped in to finish unfastening them. Grace came out and strapped the brace, that Danny had taken off as he handled the wet dishes, on Danny's left wrist but then took over for Charlie when her own fond remembrances of learning to ride with Danno filled her head.

Oddly, the most difficult part of the preparation process was to fasten the buckle on the helmet. It was shiny and red and looked like a firefighter helmet. Using old hand-me-down bikes was one thing, but Danny wouldn't take chances with his children's safety so he bought the expensive helmet after making sure that it met the highest and toughest safety standards. It had been used many times while Charlie rode with the training wheels but a helmet is only good if it stays on in a fall so it must sit securely on the rider's head, hence the need for a snug fit.

But Charlie listened and tried to hold the one end still and to hold his chin up so Danny could slip the other end in, but the process, made even more difficult by Danny's sore left wrist, still wasn't working. The boy continued to cooperate when Grace nudged Danny aside and said she'd do it, bringing a double wide smile to Danny's face.

Helmet on, Grace retreated to the house and Charlie used both hands to push the bike as father and son walked around the corner to the dead end street. Grace had already been riding by the time Danny had saved up enough to buy this place but father and daughter had spent many an hour playing roller hockey here until she was good enough and independent enough to play with the neighborhood children.

Things became difficult again when the time came to start riding. With Grace, Danny had put one hand on the back of the seat and the other on the handlebars and walked with her while she got acclimated. He didn't have the luxury of doing that now. He'd have to jump right in.

Taking hold of the back of Charlie's seat he told him to place one foot on the pedal that was higher and to put the other foot on the other pedal as soon as they started moving. The effort really caused his wrist to hurt but he wasn't about to let that stop him. "Ready Tiger?"

"Ready Danno."

The first few tries were awkward and difficult but neither father nor son were inclined to quit.

Soon, a familiar blue Silverado pulled up in front of Danny's house around the corner from where they were and an even more familiar figure got out and came strutting down the street towards them.

Distracted by Steve's presence, Charlie wobbled and weaved before coming to a rather uncontrolled stop right in the spot that Danny had just abandoned.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Steve asked.

"Having a snowball fight; what's it look like," Danny replied.

"Silly, Danno," Charlie said with a laugh as he stood next to his bike as it laid on it's side where it had fallen when he stopped. He then looked up at Steve. "Unca Steve, Danno's teaching me to ride a bike."

"I see that. You want me to…?"

Danny didn't even let him get it out. "No, I don't. I'm figuring Grace sent out a plea to you on that phone of hers but I don't need any help. We got this, right Tiger?"

"Right," Charlie agreed, looking up at his father with loving pride.

Steve wasn't quite so easily appeased. "You okay?" he asked Danny.

"I'm fine, Steven," Danny growled, despite his growing fatigue and throbbing wrist.

"How's your wrist?" It had only been a couple of days since the injury.

"Nothing some ice won't take care of."

"You look flushed."

"This is Hawaii, land of the vengeful sun god," Danny retorted. "Five minutes out here and us haole's start to burn, even in January." He sighed then, knowing that Steve, and Grace who had surely contacted him, were only looking out for him. "I'm fine, really. A little tired but exercise is good for me."

There was a part of Steve that wanted to tell Danny this was crazy, that wanted to step in and take over so his best friend didn't risk hurting himself any further. But he knew how much this meant to Danny, not just as a father but also as a fiercely independent man who was trying to reinvent himself after a devastating injury. He couldn't stop him from trying. He'd keep an eye on things and step in if he had to, but he wouldn't stop him now. With a nod from Steve, they started again.

As usually happens when children first start riding, Charlie would go a short distance and then begin a small panic so he would put one foot down to stop himself. Then they would try again. By his side, Danny coaxed him with reassuring words and Steve threw in his own encouragement from the sidewalk as he fought a constant battle with himself to not jump in and take over.

A few more tries and Charlie was starting to ride almost the length of the street, Danny doggedly running behind him. "Look at me Danno! Look at me!" the blond boy repeatedly shouted with delight. "Look at me Unca Steve."

Soon, Grace came gliding down the dead end street wearing the adjustable roller blades that Danny/Santa had given her a few years prior. Without a fuss, she began to skate next to her brother as he headed down the street. He was riding fast now, with no chance for Danny, injured or not, to keep up with him on foot. Danny was shouting directions to him about turning and steering and watching where he was going and Grace glided happily at her little brother's side.

With Charlie doing well and Grace taking over in the street, Danny moved to the side of the road. Steve came over to stand next to his partner and observed the intense pride with fondness. He nudged Danny's shoulder. "I still remember when my dad taught me to ride. One of the best days of my life."

Danny nodded, an exhausted, satisfied smile spread across his face. "Yeah, me too."

The message was clear so Steve said no more about it, but he still showed his concern for this brother of his. "Let's go sit down over there in the shade before that vengeful sun god gives you heat stroke."

They sat down on the curb in the shade of a Banyan tree and Steve grabbed Danny's left arm. "What the hell?" Danny reacted with annoyance when Steve then unstrapped the sweaty brace. "I'm using that."

"Not anymore," Steve told him as he reached into one of the pockets of his cargo pants and pulled out a disposable ice pack. "You did your job. He's riding like a pro now." He pressed the pack against Danny's wrist eliciting a slight hiss before Danny settled his arm in his lap.

"He is, isn't he?" Danny beamed with pride as he watched his children race down the street.

"When he gets a little better I can teach him…"

"No, no, no, no" Danny said with an emphatic shake of his head. "Listen, working with you is scary enough. I do not want you teaching my son your Evel Knievel routine, okay?"

"He's a natural, Danno. Look at him. I could teach him all kinds of tricks."

"I'm sure you could, Steven but I do not want you teaching any of your tricks to my son."

"He'll be the coolest kid, I'm telling you."

"I don't care about him being the coolest kid in his preschool class."

"Not just the coolest kid in preschool. You're thinking too small, Danno. I'm talking coolest kid in the entire neighborhood. Some wheelies, some jumps." Steve couldn't help pushing Danny's buttons.

Danny heaved out an aggrieved sigh. "No way. You're not getting anywhere near my kid. I want him alive and in one piece."

"It's very safe, Danno."

"Safe? I've seen your definition of safe. I have nightmares about your definition of safe."

"You can't keep him stuck on this little dead end forever."

"Forever? He learned to ride five minutes ago." Danny flipped his hand for emphasis causing the cold pack to slip to the ground at their feet.

Steve decided he had pushed Danny far enough. He picked the cold pack up and slapped it back on Danny's wrist. "Okay, okay. I won't teach him anything."

"Good."

"Yet," Steve added with a smirk.

"You are a Neanderthal. You know that, don't you?" Danny laughed.

Steve smiled. "Hey, when the kids are done here let's go to that Jersey style pizza place you like and celebrate. My treat."

"No pineapple," Danny stated.

"Of course not," Steve said with a laugh.

"You have your wallet?" Danny asked next, grinning.

Steve reached around and patted his back pocket, a guilty look spreading across his face.

"Of course not," Danny said with a laugh.


	106. Chapter 106

A/N One of my dear fanfic friends, Lenail125, lives in Puerto Rico. After a week of worry I heard from her. While the situation there is terrible and the island is devastated, she and her family are fortunately okay. - I hope you forgive me for using this post as a public forum of sorts but Puerto Rico, the US Virgin Islands and a number of other Caribbean islands are facing serious humanitarian and public health crises. The island of Barbuda was completely evacuated; not a single living person remained on the island. Please keep these people in your prayers (or your thoughts if you prefer) and if at all possible, find a reputable relief organization (Catholic Relief Services, Red Cross...) and donate generously.

\- A special thanks to Julieb716 for her help with the end of this chapter.

\- I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters except for Kani.

H50 H50 H50

The next day, Danny went to his lanai, settled himself in a deck chair in the sun and placed a call to Kani. He always made a point to stay true to his promises and this would be no exception. When the young man answered, Danny spoke. "Hi Kani. This is Danny - from the soup kitchen on Christmas."

"Yeah. I remember you, Detective Williams. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year. How are you? How's your mother?"

"Me?" Kani asked, surprised. "I'm fine. We're fine. Thanks for asking. My Mom thought it was so cool when I told her I met you."

That surprised Danny. When they met, Kani had said how much his mother would enjoy it, but Danny had chalked it up to hyperbole. "I'm flattered."

"How are you feeling? You must have been really tired on Christmas. I was tired and I'm not injured."

"Honestly, I was wiped out. I came home, tossed some leftovers in the microwave for dinner and promptly fell asleep." The thought brought back the memory of the dream he had and he struggled out of the chair in an attempt to shake it from his head. With one arm useless and the other holding the phone with an achy wrist he had no leverage but he had to move, his restless nature kicking in.

"Before or after you ate?"

Danny was impressed with the observant question. "After about two bites. But look, I didn't call to talk about my lack of energy," he said with a chuckle. "I was wondering when you might be interested in visiting the police station and Five-0."

"Really?" Kani was surprised that this wasn't just another empty promise from an adult.

"Really. If you actually want to go, that is. I'm not forcing you."

"No, well yeah. I mean, sure, that would be interesting."

"You don't sound too sure."

"I want to go check it out. It sounds really cool, I just…"

"You just don't know if you want to be a cop?"

"Exactly."

"I told you, no pressure, no pushing. Just a visit and if you want I can arrange a ride along in a police car."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Tell me what day you're available after school this week and I'll make it happen."

"This week? You don't mess around, do you?" Kani asked with a chuckle.

"A promise is a promise. Besides, I go back in for another surgery soon and I'll be laid up for a while."

"That sucks. Uh, I mean, that stinks."

Danny smiled, impressed that the boy would try and clean up his language for him. "Actually, it's a good thing. Still going to be a rough few weeks but it's good progress overall."

"Well, good luck. If you need anything my mom said I can use the car to help you out."

Danny smiled even wider. He loved this family already. Good people. "Thank you. That's really kind of both of you. Now, for the police department thing I just need to speak with your mother first since you're still a minor."

Danny listened as Kani called his mother and she got on the line. Her enthusiasm for speaking with Danny and for his offer to Kani was just as the young man had described. Details were ironed out and they ended the call.

Later that week, Kani and his mother picked Danny up to drive them both to HQ. It was a bit humiliating for Danny but he appreciated her efforts and he enjoyed meeting her so he pushed down his pride and went along with it. In an impressive display of gentlemanly manners, Kani stepped out of the car and moved to the back seat so Danny could sit in front. He was immediately questioned about his left wrist, which was bearing a support brace, and he assured them it was a minor accident and that he was fine. He then had a delightful conversation with Kani's mother on the short ride to HQ and he promised her that she needn't concern herself for coming back for her son; Kani would be returned home when everything was finished.

Danny stepped in the door of Five-0 headquarters with Kani in tow eager to introduce the impressive young man to his ohana and to show off his workplace and all the cool tech and tools they were fortunate enough to work with to the teen.

It didn't take long to impress the young man. "Whoa!" he exclaimed as he stepped through the glass doors.

"You like it?" Danny asked, striding in next to him.

Kani nodded his head. "This place is really nice. Somehow I doubt that the police department looks like this though."

"You'd win that bet. I had a small desk in a loud, cramped room over there at HPD." He opened the door to his office and both of them stepped in. "Now I have this." He waved his brace covered left arm to highlight his office.

"You were a regular cop first?" Kani asked while looking around.

"I was a regular cop back in Jersey. Moved up to homicide there before moving to homicide here."

"How'd you get this job?"

Danny laughed. "For some reason, the moment we met, Steve hijacked my life and made it his personal mission to drive me crazy."

Kani looked at Danny with a confused raised eyebrow.

"The Governor gave him full means and immunity. His first official action was to make me his partner."

"You didn't have a choice?"

Danny shook his head. "Nope."

"Didn't that bother you?"

Danny paused for a moment. "I was the son of a hard-nosed firefighter and I've been a cop since I was 18. I'm used to following orders even if I don't like them." He purposely didn't mention that the reception he had received at HPD, from Lieutenant Tanaka right on down to the rank and file, had been utterly unwelcoming. The sole exception having been Meka.

"You don't like it here?"

"I do now."

Satisfied with the answer, Kani began to look at the photos behind Danny's desk. "Is this your daughter? She..."

"You better be careful what you say next or Danny will go all Jersey on you," Steve said as he walked in the door unannounced, startling Kani.

"I was just going to say she looks familiar," Kani exclaimed, wide-eyed, hands up defensively as he turned around.

"Stop scaring my guest, Steven," Danny interjected before turning to the young man. "Kani, this is Steve McGarrett."

Kani immediately extended his hand to Steve. "Pleased to meet you, sir. So, you're Danny's partner?"

Steve accepted the handshake. "Call me Steve and actually, he's my partner."

"Is there a difference?" Kani asked, confused.

"To a control freak, there is," Danny answered from behind him.

"Ignore him. He's just a miserable little fellow," Steve said to Kani as Danny moved next to him.

"I'd tell you to ignore my partner, but he's so freaking tall and loud and he likes getting up into everybody's business so it's impossible to ignore him. Kind of like the IRS."

Kani looked from one man to the other. "You're joking, right?"

"Absolutely not," Danny replied with a laugh that said yes they were just kidding. "Come on, let me show you around before Sergeant Lukela comes for your ride along." They headed out of Danny's office.

"Let's show him the interrogation room first," Steve said eagerly as he bounced behind them like a kid in a candy shop. He turned to Kani. "It's one of a kind. You'll like it."

"What's this 'we' stuff?" Danny countered. "Don't you have work to do? Bad guys to catch?"

"Nope! I'm all yours," Steve replied with a goofy grin.

"See what I mean about the IRS?" Danny asked Kani.

Kani laughed. "Yeah. I think I'm going to scratch accountant off my potential career list."

Danny, with Steve's ever -present assistance, showed Kani the other offices and introduced him to the other team members. Lou told him a bit about how the S.W.A.T. team worked before Chin and Kono gave a presentation about the smart table and how technology was used in crime solving.

"So, computers can pretty much do everything," Kani said when they had finished.

"No, no, no, no. Computers help you get all the puzzle pieces but you still have to put them all together. That happens right up here," Danny said tapping his finger to his head.

"I'll give you an example," Steve told him. "Do you know what a cold case is?"

Kani nodded. "One that hasn't been solved for a long time."

Steve pointed at Danny now. "Your friend here, my partner, solved a 15 year old cold case this week."

The other team members were surprised. "You're holding out on us, brah. I thought you weren't cleared yet." Kono spoke for them.

"I'm not," Danny answered, a bit blindsided by Steve's mention of the case. "It wasn't anything official."

"It was something he heard about and he took a look at the files," Steve said, glossing over details that didn't matter to Kani. "Poured over them for weeks while we thought he was working on one of our cases." Danny shot him a look but he went on. "And he found something that nobody had noticed before. Now another murderer is going to be hauled off the streets."

"A murder? Wow. That's so cool," Kani exclaimed, looking at Danny with renewed admiration.

"I'm his partner; I helped," Steve crowed.

"I thought he was your partner?" Kani retorted, to Danny's amusement.

"Is there a difference? Lou asked.

"Only if you're a control freak," Danny and Kani replied in unison.

Danny then led Kani to the locker rooms and showers followed by the gun and ammo locker. "Wow," Kani exclaimed as he looked around, this is like a whole, uh…" He struggled finding the word.

"Arsenal," Steve gladly provided the word. "It's not really that big, though."

Danny sighed. "That's because we are not in the Army, Steven."

"Navy, Danny."

"This five-man team has more weapons at its disposal than I ever saw at HPD," Danny countered. Danny could tell that Steve was chomping at the bit to show off his interrogation rooms. With a wry chuckle, he finally relented. "Okay, you goof," he said to Steve, "you want to go with us to see the …"

Before he even finished Steve was on the move and completing his sentence. "...interrogation rooms. Yeah. Come on Kani, this way."

As the team chortled at their irrepressible leader's predictable behavior, Danny and Kani followed him back through the main room to the elevators. "He's not always like this," Danny started to say.

"Elevator is too slow. We'll take the stairs," Steve shouted back at them over his shoulder as he enthusiastically shoved open the door to the stairwell and began to hustle his way down two steps at a time.

Danny laughed as they followed at a slower pace, there being no way he could keep up in his current condition. "He can actually stand still when he's in his dress blacks."

"Blues, Danny," Steve threw back as he bounded down the stairs. "They're dress blues."

"No they're not blues. They may call them blues but they're black. The Army is color blind," Danny shouted as Steve pulled away.

"Navy, Danny."

"Whatever you say, Rambo."

"Wasn't Rambo Army?" Kani asked with a teasing smile as he headed down the stairs by Danny's side.

"Don't you start with me," Danny responded with a snicker.

"We have a few of them but this is our main room," Steve said as he opened up the interrogation room door moments later and waited for them to enter.

"Wow!" Kani stopped and took it all in. "It's kind of scary in here."

Danny nodded. "Yeah, that's essentially the point."

"Do you do the good cop, bad cop thing like on tv?"

"Yeah, sometimes," Steve answered. "I usually play the bad cop because Danny gets a bit too scary when he does it."

Danny burst out laughing. "Oh, is that why, Gandhi?"

"It's a Jersey thing. You can't help it," Steve told him with a smirk.

Kani, already used to the way these two worked, took the jibes in stride. "This is different than a regular police interrogation room, isn't it?"

"Yes. We work a bit differently here," Danny told him.

"We have immunity and means," Steve told him. "Regular cops, don't."

"Does that mean you can do whatever you want?" Kani asked, wide eyed. "I've heard people say that you guys can get away with anything."

"I'll answer this one," Danny said, quickly cutting off whatever Steve was about to say, not willing to risk it. "If we had full immunity, which we don't, then we could legally do whatever we wanted yet we would still be bound by a moral code. However, since we do have limited immunity, we can handle things a bit differently than the regular police, still bound by honor though."

"You ever do anything you wish you hadn't?" Kani asked, picking up on the word honor.

Steve didn't need to see Danny to know that his mind would go directly to Marco Reyes. Knowing that Danny was still haunted by the memory, Steve answered quickly, derailing the line of questioning. "Doesn't everybody?" he answered in a casual, relaxed tone.

"Good point," Kani replied with a nod. "So, you handcuff the dude to this chair?" he asked as he walked closer.

"Not just men. Some of our bad guys are women."

"Do you still call them bad guys if they're women?" Kani asked Danny.

"Don't get him started," Steve responded quickly.

Kani laughed as Danny shot a glare towards his beloved partner. "Have you ever sat in the chair? Just to, you know, see what it's like?" the boy asked.

Danny and Steve exchanged a look. "No. No we haven't. You want to try?" Danny offered.

"Sure," Kani said, full of bravado as he strode over to the chair. He stopped in front of it and stared, suddenly reluctant. "Why is there a drain there?" He turned and looked at Danny, pretty much knowing the answer to his question. "Do I want to know why there's a drain there?"

"Makes it easier to clean the room when we're done with a suspect," Steve answered quickly.

Danny sighed and shook his head as Kani's eyes widened in shock.

"What?" Steve asked his partner.

"We do not do anything to suspects that would require that kind of cleaning," Danny assured their young, impressionable guest.

"There used to be showers down here," Steve said now in an attempt to cover up his other answer.

Both Danny and Kani turned and cast an incredulous look at Steve. "Seriously? That's what you come up with?" Danny asked him.

"What?" Steve asked again.

"It's a fake," Danny told Kani now. "Just makes the suspects wonder. Intimidation, ya know?"

"It's definitely scary," Kani admitted, stepping closer to look at it more carefully.

"Why did you tell him?" Steve asked Danny quietly, but not so quietly that Kani couldn't hear. "It won't intimidate anybody if they know it's not real."

Kani looked at Steve, his hands held up plaintively. "I promise I won't tell anybody. Not even my mother. Scout's honor."

"He takes that scout's honor very seriously," Danny told Kani with a glare towards an unrepentant Steve even while he offered the teen a soft laugh to try and lesson his unease.

"I'm very serious. I don't ever want to sit in that chair," Kani swore wholeheartedly as he looked back at the drain in the floor.

Before Danny could reply, his phone rang. "That was Duke," he said to Kani as he hung up a moment later. "He's upstairs. You ready?"

"It'll be kind of anti-climactic after seeing 5-0," Steve told the teen.

Danny disagreed. "It will be a nice dose of sanity and realism."

Kani smiled broadly. "I really enjoyed the tour. This place is so cool. Thank you both." He extended his hand out to each in thanks.

Steve smiled, proud and goofy, and Danny just shook his head, replying for both of them. "It was our pleasure, Kani."

Heading out the door of the interrogation room, Kani gave a final nervous glance back at the chair and the drain, shivering slightly as he did.

The partners escorted the teen back upstairs and safely deposited him in Duke's trusted care. When the squad car was out of sight, Danny turned on Steve. "What the hell is wrong with you? Neanderthal Robocop had to go and scare my young, impressionable guest? He's just a kid, Steven."

Genuinely perplexed, Steve asked, "What? What did I do?"

"You need help, you know that?" Danny grumbled as he walked away shaking his head.

HHHHH

The next day found Danny huddled over files again, although not the Baltimore files. Along with that work, he was making headway in compiling evidence to nail Gabriel Waincroft and send him to prison for life. With the surgery to properly close up his wound coming the next day, the work was also a healthy distraction from the pre-surgery jitters.

Thoroughly engrossed in his work, he was distracted by a knock at the door. Rising, he stretched carefully before moving to answer.

His eyes were wide with surprise at the sight of his very unexpected visitor. "You mind if I come in?" the visitor asked.

Danny's instincts kicked in quickly and he stood steadfast in his doorway, despite his injuries. "That depends on why you're here."


	107. Chapter 107

A/N My apologies for how long it is taking me to post chapters. Real life is incredibly hectic.

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

H50

From the last chapter:

The next day found Danny huddled over files again, although not the Baltimore files. Along with that work, he was making headway in compiling evidence to nail Gabriel Waincroft and send him to prison for life. With the surgery to properly close up his wound coming the next day, the work was also a healthy distraction from the pre-surgery jitters.

Thoroughly engrossed in his work, he was distracted by a knock at the door. Rising, he stretched carefully before moving to answer.

His eyes were wide with surprise at the sight of his very unexpected visitor. "You mind if I come in?" the visitor asked.

Danny's instincts kicked in quickly and he stood steadfast in his doorway, despite his injuries. "That depends on why you're here."

H50

Stan set his lips in a firm line and then relaxed a bit. "I suppose I deserve that."

"Your self awareness is astounding," Danny mumbled, still blocking the doorway with his body. He was worn out and weak from the back injury and resultant infection along with his sprained wrist and he knew that the larger man could get past him in a heartbeat if he wanted to, but he stood his ground nonetheless. He wasn't one to give in. "Are the kids okay?" That was Danny's first concern.

"They're fine."

The two men stared at each other a moment.

Stan looked at Danny who was barefoot and dressed in gym shorts and a button up shirt that only had a couple buttons at the bottom fastened. Stan had only seen Danny from a distance at the children's Christmas pageant, fully clothed in a suit and otherwise hadn't seen him since before he was stabbed and he was shocked by his appearance. Paler and thinner than normal and with the still raw, red scar on his chest showing from under the loosely buttoned shirt it was obvious he was still suffering from the injury. Despite his short stature, Danny had always been strong and solidly built with a neck the size of a tree and shoulders and biceps to match. Stan admitted, albeit only to himself, that he found his wife's ex-husband rather intimidating and he knew very well what the man was capable of when he was provoked. Right now though, injured and sick as he was, he wasn't the least bit intimidating.

Danny stared up at Stan who was standing there dressed in an impeccable black Armani suit over a pristine white shirt and a Charvet tie with a Swarovski tie clip. Danny figured his shoes and briefcase were probably Ferragamo's but he didn't want to look down to check. He bit back a comment about how the money spent on this outfit alone could feed a small nation for a day. Stan's skin was glowing with a healthy tan, whether from his hours spent playing tennis and golf or his days spent on the beach, Danny didn't know - nor did he care. He wondered vaguely if Rachel knew Stan was here and decided he didn't really care about that, either.

"You have another lawsuit in there?" Danny asked angrily, nodding at the briefcase clutched in Stan's hand. Yep, a Ferragamo he thought to himself, after catching a glimpse of the tag. "I have nothing left to sue for, you know. You're wasting your time."

"It's not a lawsuit."

"A couple months ago your wife stopped by like this and she used the visit against me, to try and keep Charlie from me." Danny still didn't budge from the doorway, mentally patting himself on the back for saying "Charlie" instead of "my son".

"Look, I come in peace, Williams. Please, can we go inside and talk?" Danny continued to stand his ground for a few more moments looking Stan right in the eye. Relenting, when continuing to look at the much taller man was making his neck and back hurt, Danny nodded silently before stepping aside and allowing Stan to enter his home for the first time.

"You have a nice place here," Stan told him, looking around as Danny shut the door behind them.

"That's the same line Rachel started with."

"Really? I'd think she'd have made a comment about your decor," Stan said dryly.

Danny resisted the urge to smirk, surprised that Stan allowed that bit of spousal snark to slip through. "I'd offer you a drink but I don't think you're staying that long," Danny said as Stan stepped further into the room.

"Are you okay?" Stan asked, indicating the brace on Danny's wrist.

Danny lifted his left arm slightly and glanced at the brace. "I have a hole in my back that rivals the Grand Canyon and you ask about this?"

Stan tilted his head to the side and shrugged. The back wound was old news. This was new.

Danny let it slide and kept the answer simple. "It's just sprained."

A few minutes later, Stan was seated on the living room sofa, briefcase at his feet, and Danny was pacing. "You going to tell me why you're here?" the blond finally said. "Because I'm not a mind reader." This man before him now was suing him for everything he had and Danny was finding it extremely difficult to contain himself.

"I'm not quite sure what to say."

"How about..." Danny paused for a beat and then finished with a growl, his voice rising at the end. "...you tell me why you're here!"

"You're not making this easy."

"I didn't know I was supposed to be making this easy. Must have missed that page of the "How to Deal With Your Ex-wife's Suing Husband" manual." Danny's left hand punctuated his statement emphatically.

Now it was Stan's turn to smirk. "Rachel always said you have a way with words."

Digging deep inside for the strength that helped him deal with many a difficult case and many difficult people, Danny spoke more calmly. "Look, I really don't want to know what Rachel tells you about me. I get that whatever you came for isn't easy to say but maybe you can start by just telling me the topic. Just a clue or something." He lifted his left hand, palm up, in supplication.

Danny was nearly rocked off his feet by Stan's next word. "Charlie."

"What's wrong with Charlie?" Danny's active imagination began to run rampant conjuring up a whole host of horrible things that could have happened. "He's not sick again? He was fine yesterday. You said the kids..."

"Whoa, whoa relax. He's fine. Charlie's fine." Stan interrupted Danny's panicked rant.

"He's fine?"

"He's fine."

Danny let out a relieved sigh as he dropped into the love seat, caddy cornered to Stan. "You're sure?" he whispered, shaken.

"Do you ever stop worrying about them?" Stan asked in lieu of an answer.

"Do you?" Danny responded in kind, looking Stan right in the eye again. He knew that even though Stan wasn't their real father, he loved the kids anyway. It wasn't easy to admit it, but he knew it was true. Stan had proven it the day Grace was kidnapped.

Stan chuckled softly and shook his head. He then let out a deep sigh and reached into his briefcase, speaking as he pulled an item out. "Charlie gave this to me for Christmas." He turned it over and showed Danny the plaster plaque with Charlie's tiny handprint pressed into the front along with the words 'to Daddy'.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Danny wanted to cry and he wanted to scream. Figuring that crying in front of his ex-wife's husband would be way too humiliating he stuck with the angry retort. "That's great, Stan. He gave me a tie, but you don't see me shoving it in your face."

"I didn't come to shove it in your face."

"No? Because that's the way it feels to me."

"Charlie told me what you said." When Danny cocked his head in silent query, Stan explained. "You told him that it was the best present ever and that I would love it."

"Sorry if I misspoke."

"No. No you didn't at all. I love it, but we both know he should have given this to you."

Danny pulled strength from deep inside. "No. He's known you as his daddy for his whole life. Rachel telling him differently now doesn't change what he knows. He doesn't understand the biology of it. What he does understand is that you were there when he was learning to walk and talk, you sat up with him at night when he was sick, held him when he had a bad dream, held his hand when he stepped into that preschool for the first time. You, not me. I was never there for him. You were. You've loved him and taken care of him all these years. Grace too, I must admit." He swallowed hard, fighting the urge to pick up the plaque and trace the image of his son's hand. "As much as it pains me to say this, you've been a good stepfather to my children."

"Thank you," Stan said. Danny simply nodded in response and Stan went on. "I know you're doing it for Charlie not me, but you have added your presence into his life rather than trying to push me out and replace me. I appreciate that."

"He's been through enough. He shouldn't suffer for something he had nothing to do with."

Stan nodded. "We both want what's best for the kids and you've done that by trying to keep things civil - peaceful even. You work hard not to put the kids in the middle of anything. I respect that, so I'm going to do the same. Keep it peaceful. Not put the kids in the middle."

"What are you saying?" Danny's strong skills as an interviewer and interrogator were leading him to think that this had something to do with the lawsuit for back child support. Stan modifying it somehow. Maybe even dropping it altogether. Danny waged a quick internal war between his natural tendency to think the worst will happen and his instincts, which were now telling him that Stan's presence here meant something good.

"I'm going to drop the lawsuit over child support. I don't need the money and destroying you financially won't be good for Charlie or even for my relationship with him when he gets old enough to understand." He paused a moment. "Or even for my relationship with Grace."

"Might help you with Rachel," Danny tossed back with a touch of sarcasm, not at all convinced that this was real.

"We'll see."

"She doesn't know?" Danny was incredulous.

"Not yet. I'll tell her when I get home."

"What if she tries to change your mind?"

"It won't work. I'm serious about this."

The emotions that Danny had successfully held back earlier, were uncontainable now and his eyes filled with tears as he realized Stan wasn't playing with him. "You're serious?"

"Yes." He reached into the briefcase again, pulled out a legal document and handed it to Danny.

Danny read it over, still shocked that the whole threat of him losing everything to Stan in the lawsuit could really be gone. Wide-eyed with disbelief, he looked up at the larger man who he had so angrily let in the door a short while before. "It's not signed."

Stan took it back, placed it on the coffee table in front of Danny and pulled a pen out of his pocket - a monogrammed, gold-plated Cross pen that probably cost hundreds of dollars, Danny noted. Danny was tempted to ask if it was a Christmas present from Rachel but he managed to keep silent as Stan signed it with a flourish. "It is now; signed and ready to be filed with the court. I'm going to give it to my lawyer in the morning. I just had to speak with you first, to be sure it's what I wanted to do."

"Thank you," Danny managed to croak out, his voice tight with emotion as Stan returned the fancy pen to his pocket rather than place it on the table next to Danny's Bic pen. "Seriously, thank you." He cleared his throat. "I think I owe you a drink."

A short while later, Steve arrived to do Danny's physical therapy session. Danny met him at the door with a cold beer in his left hand and a smile on his face.

"There's a black Lamborghini in your driveway," Steve said incredulously, looking over his shoulder at the expensive vehicle, as if to make sure he had seen right when he passed it.

"You are very observant. Come on in. I'll get you a beer or would you rather have some whiskey? We're sitting on the lanai."

"We?"

"Yeah, we. Those Lamborghini's are very high tech but they don't drive themselves."

"I'll grab a Longboard," Steve said, heading into the kitchen knowing that since Danny already had a drink in his hand he couldn't carry another unless he stuck it in his sling. He was rather surprised that Danny was drinking but even more so that Danny seemed happy. The sheer euphoria of learning the infection was gone and of having solved the murder of Mindy's friend had already begun to fade but maybe it was making a resurgence, Steve mused.

Steve's confusion increased when he stepped out onto the lanai and saw a man sitting there in a fancy business suit, sipping a glass of whiskey. His tie was loosened but otherwise he was so impeccably dressed that he looked as if he just stepped off the cover of a fashion magazine. The man rose politely when they came through the door. Steve had never officially met the man but he had seen him from time to time and this man looked an awful lot like Stan Edwards.

"Steve I don't think you've ever met Stan Edwards."

Danny said it so calmly, so casually, that it threw Steve completely. "No, I haven't had the pleasure." He extended his hand in greeting.

"Pleased to meet you, Steve. I've heard a lot about you from the kids." Stan and Danny exchanged a look that confused Steve even more.

"I've heard a lot about you, too," Steve said in an instinctive reply.

"Not very good, I suspect," Stan replied dryly as he sat down again.

"Uh, there was something about tennis lessons." Steve said the first thing that came to mind, earning him a pleased look from Stan and a scowl from Danny.

Feeling completely confused and unsure of how to handle this situation, Steve sent a beseeching look to Danny. Understanding Steve's unspoken confusion, Danny spoke up to explain. "We uh, came to an understanding. Stan's going to drop the lawsuit for back child support."

"And Danny's going to let me stay in Charlie's life - include him in my family gatherings and such, Grace, too. My parents, my brother and sister - they adore them both. We don't want to lose them."

Stunned, Steve looked at Danny, standing there with a tear in his eye and a beer in his hand. He was turning his gaze to Stan when something on the table caught his eye. It was the plaque that Charlie had made, the one that said 'to Daddy', the one the boy was giving to Stan for Christmas, the one that nearly broke Danny's heart.

"To shared fatherhood," Steve said, putting a name to their agreement and raising his bottle to join them in a toast. It was good news that the lawsuit would be dropped. If Stan had won, Danny would have lost everything, his house included, and would have had a difficult time making a decent home for his kids when he didn't even have a place to live himself.

Stan smiled broadly and rose from his seat. The two men raised bottle and glass and then looked to Danny whose expression was very hard to read, even for Steve who knew him so well. The blond was staring at the plaque on the table, staring at that imprint of his son's beautiful, amazing, perfect little hand.

It was then that it occurred to Steve that Danny's victory came at a price - the need to admit that Stan's presence in his children's life was an undeniable, unchangeable, immutable fact, the need to admit that Charlie may never stop calling Stan Daddy, even when he became old enough to understand the truth. Shared fatherhood was another long-term burden Danny had to deal with. Steve regretted his words, but it was already too late.

"To shared fatherhood," Stan chimed happily in agreement.

His face an unreadable mask, Danny stifled the pain and resentment and focused on his gratitude. His thoughts going to his "chocolate cream donut" children, he lifted his bottle to the others in abject silence.


	108. Chapter 108

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

H50 H50 H50

When Stan left a short while later, Danny closed the door behind him and leaned his head against the cool wood, allowing some of the tension of the past worrisome months to slip away. Gathering himself quickly he turned and smiled at Steve. "It's over. Can you believe that?"

"That's great partner," Steve replied with a smile as they headed towards the sofa. "You okay?"

"Okay? Of course I'm okay. I just found out that I won't be losing everything to the schmuck who stole my wife. How can I not be okay?" Danny delivered the words with a tone and a look that dared Steve to challenge him. Yes, he was paying a price but it was worth it, since his kids would not be suffering through a prolonged court battle with the potential result of Danny not having a suitable home for them to come to when it was his time with them. With the lawsuit gone, he would not have to pay any financial cost, just an emotional one - and he didn't want to discuss it.

Steve got the message. Danny would deal with it, just like he dealt with every other bad hand. "That's great news buddy. You're getting lots of great news lately."

"Yeah, makes me wonder when the other shoe will drop."

"Hasn't it done that already?"

"There's always another shoe, Steve. My life is the Imelda Marcos collection of shoes."

They each had another beer with dinner before proceeding with the physical therapy. "I'll take the couch," Steve said when they were done.

"Take the couch? What do you mean 'take the couch?' It's not enough that you practically stole my car, you have to take my couch, too?" Danny answered back with a wave of his left hand.

"I meant I'll sleep here, Danny," Steve said as he reached for the hem of his shirt to pull it off.

Danny quickly held his left hand out in front of him like a stop sign. "Whoa, whoa, keep your shirt on, you animal. Please! I don't need you stripping in my living room and I don't need a babysitter."

"Your surgery is tomorrow."

"I am acutely aware of that and if it's too much for you to drive home now and come back to pick me up tomorrow then go home and I'll find another ride."

"I'm taking you there, Danny," Steve said in his best commanding officer voice.

Danny waved his left hand towards the door. "Then go home and let me sleep and I'll see you tomorrow - with your shirt on." Danny then pointed to Steve's shirt as if to make sure he knew what he was referring to.

"I just want to make sure…"

"Make sure what? That I don't eat? I'm not you, Steven. I can follow doctor's orders." He paused a moment and looked at his best friend before speaking again in a calmer tone. "Don't give me that puppy dog face. I'll be fine, okay? Go home and get a decent night's sleep and let me do the same."

When Steve left, after quite a bit more persuading, Danny sat down with the Waincroft paperwork again and worked several more hours. He would spend much of the next day in a drug induced sleep so he saw no real need to get to bed early, despite his fatigue. He was way too wired to try anyway. When he was exhausted and no longer able to focus he finally pushed away from the table and headed to bed yet he still found it impossible to sleep, doing a one armed version of tossing and turning.

Lying in bed wide awake, he found himself wanting to call Mindy, tell her about Stan's visit, allow her voice and calm manner to help ease his anxiety for the coming operation and recovery. With one look at the clock, however, he negated that idea. She would answer the phone he was sure but it wasn't right of him to wake her at this hour. He forced himself to wait until he knew she'd be up.

Unable to truly sleep, even after retiring at such a late (or rather early since it had been after midnight) hour, Danny gave up and dragged himself out of bed when dawn's first rays snuck into his room. Attired in nothing but the gym shorts he wore to bed, he sat himself down once again in front of the paperwork, craving a mug of steaming coffee or even Rachel's barely palatable British tea. Forbidden to consume anything due to the pending surgery, however, he had to forego them both.

Finally confident that Mindy would be up and have already enjoyed a steaming mug of coffee, Danny reached for his phone to call her, only to stop just as his hand wrapped around the device. Did he have a right to call her? They had each expressed their feelings for each other but Danny had put a fence up and it felt like a wall now. Mindy had assured him that she understood he needed time even when Danny had made a declaration of finality on the romance front. She had promised him that she was there for him either way.

Yet, he still wasn't sure. Was the phone call he wanted to make the call of a friend or was it more? He had told her that he felt she had the wrong idea. Was he causing that? Would this phone call give her the wrong idea? Was it even really the wrong idea? Being honest with himself, he had no idea what the right idea should be. He had no idea about much of anything with Mindy except that his feelings for her were strong, his feelings for her were different from the feelings he had for Melissa or Gabby or even Rachel.

His relationship with Rachel had been exciting and passionate, combining a strong physical attraction and a deep emotional connection. Yet their very disparate personalities often resulted in a truly combustible combination. Having worked hard to uphold his side of the marriage vows when things began to unravel, he had been utterly devastated when Rachel left him. Not only because she had taken Grace with her; he had truly missed Rachel, too. A part of him still grieved the loss of that relationship.

His relationship with Gabby had been very different. The physical attraction contrasted with calm ordinary moments but there was obviously not enough there to make it work when something better came along. With Melissa the physical part of the relationship, Danny now realized, was the main attraction, overshadowing for a while her clinging, needy nature.

With Mindy, he felt so much more, no matter how much he tried to deny it. The desire for physical contact was there but there was also a desire for non-physical contact, a desire to simply be together or talk to each other on the phone or even send or receive a simple text. With Mindy, he felt calm and peaceful. He felt wanted and needed but not in a clingy way. With Mindy he felt he could truly be himself. Yes, he watched his language when he was around her but that was out of respect not out of anxiety that it would drive her away.

Yet, despite these feelings, Danny had pushed Mindy away. Sure he needed time to process what had happened with Melissa and with Rachel. Sure he had a lot on his mind with his injury, the lawsuit and a very uncertain future. Sure he had surgery coming up that would require a whole new recovery period. Sure he had Grace and Charlie to consider. Sure he could come up with a lot of things.

The reality, however, was that Danny was afraid; scared that he would mess up the best relationship he had ever had with a woman. He had entered his marriage with Rachel with full intention and belief that the relationship would last forever and its failure was a huge blow, striking him deep within his heart and shattering his confidence in his ability to form and maintain a strong relationship.

His tense inner contemplation was cut short when the phone in his hand began to vibrate. He looked at the caller ID and smiled. A sense of peace washed over him, soothing his worries like a wave smoothing out the imperfections of the sand on a beach. More relaxed than he had been all night, Danny tapped the screen to receive the Facetime call.


	109. Chapter 109

A/N To Sabine68 and anyone else who is concerned; I have no intention whatsoever of giving up on this story. If I stop posting, trust me, it will be because it is impossible for me to do so. Otherwise, I will write when I can and post when I can until this is done. Kind of like Scotty with H50, my life has become more complicated (in a good way) since I started writing this little story.

A/N To the reader who reviewed in German: Vielen Dank. Ich bin froh, dass du meinen Danny magst.

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

H50 H50 H50

"Good morning, Mindy." Danny smiled broadly as he answered the Facetime call.

"Good morning, Leo," Mindy said, using the new nickname for her wounded lion while her beautiful face smiled at him from the screen. She worked hard to not be distracted by the sight of Danny sitting there shirtless. The still healing wound aside, the view was one of the best she'd ever seen - and that was saying alot for a girl who lived in Hawaii. "I just called to wish you luck today."

"Luck? Like any kind of luck, or something specific?"

Mindy laughed. "Good luck. I'm wishing you good luck."

"Ah, wonderful. You had me worried there for a minute. I can use all the good luck I can get." Danny couldn't help but admire the way she looked in the lavender tank top she was wearing.

"Everything will be fine. Try not to worry."

Danny laughed. "You guarantee that?"

Mindy knew that any surgery involved the risk of complications and since Danny had experienced several complications following his previous two surgeries since this injury, it was possible there would be more of the same. She also knew that the surgery was serious enough to require an overnight stay but that didn't mean she needed to weigh Danny down with worry. "It's not brain surgery," she joked.

"And it's not like they can screw things up and make my arm not work, right?"

Mindy let out a dramatic sigh and shook her head with a smile. "Downright incorrigible." She paused briefly, momentarily distracted by his well defined chest and the pronounced scar clearly visible near his clavicle. She returned her gaze to his face. "You look tired."

"I had a little trouble sleeping. I know it's not brain surgery but I'm still nervous." He had no hesitation making that admission to her.

"That's understandable."

"Plus," Danny heaved out a sigh, his brow furrowing in consternation, "I just started feeling better. The pain in my back is more bearable, the headaches are gone and the nerve attacks seem to be slowing down a bit. I'm starting to feel human again, you know?"

"I guess it's frustrating to have to face another recovery now."

"Not frustrating. Agonizing." Danny sighed again, his shoulders slumping and his voice dropping to a husky whisper as he looked into her eyes and admitted, "I can't do this again, Mindy."

"Oh Danny." Mindy knew there was nothing she could say or do to change things for Danny. She could offer useless platitudes but he would see right through them. She could promise to be there for him every step of the way and remind him that Steve and the ohana would do the same but he would just feel guilty for all that people would need to do for him again, just when he had been becoming relatively independent once more. She wished she could reach through the phone screen and hold his hand to comfort him. Better yet, give him a hug and a kiss. She shoved that thought aside. This wasn't about her wants and desires.

"I want to drown my worries in a box of donuts and I can't even eat," Danny joked, trying to lighten the mood as his empty stomach growled.

With no other good option, she went along with his attempt to lighten things up. "Will a virtual box of donuts do?"

The smile returned to Danny 's face. "This video chat is like a virtual box of donuts."

"Glad to help then. I'm surprised Steve didn't sleep over to make sure you didn't eat." Mindy continued the playful chatter. "Or is he there, lurking in the shadows?" She opened her eyes wide and stretched her neck as if she were looking over Danny's shoulder and into the room.

Danny grinned. "No lurking. Not to say he didn't try. I kicked him out."

"Seriously?"

"He takes the term control freak to a whole new level."

Mindy chuckled and shook her head, knowing how much that control freak meant to Danny. "When is he picking you up?"

Danny glanced at the clock. "Supposedly an hour from now. But hey, I want to tell you something." Mindy could tell by the look on Danny's face that this was not a bad thing. "Stan Edwards dropped the lawsuit."

"Really?" Mindy responded with a relieved smile for her friend but she still understood how surprising it was. "Why did he do that?"

"He said that he respects how I try to keep the kids from getting caught in the middle of things and he wants to do the same. Basically, he doesn't want this to come back and bite him in the butt when Charlie gets old enough to understand."

"You think so?"

"Oh yeah. This was never about the money. This was about teaching me a lesson. He drives over here in his Lamborghini, wearing an Armani suit with gold cuff links and a wedding band that must have been a quarter inch thick. On one wrist is a gold bracelet and on the other is a Rolex that costs as much as my car, a car that I can't even drive anymore by the way. Then he pulls a gold Cross pen from his pocket and signs a paper dropping the lawsuit that could have netted him my entire life savings. An amount, by the way, which is probably equivalent to the value of what he rolled into my driveway with."

"Wow." Mindy was wide-eyed not only at Stan dropping the suit and the extravagant lifestyle he apparently lived, but at Danny's keen powers of observation as well. No wonder he was a top-notch detective. She wondered how Danny felt when he spoke face to face with Stan. The man was, in a way, living the life that Danny had expected to be his - a life with Rachel, with their kids and even with the dog he adopted from a crime scene and gave to Grace because he couldn't keep him in his apartment.

"But hey," Danny continued with a laugh. "I have silver in my back so that should count for something, huh?"

Mindy laughed with him about the silver dressings being used to treat the infection in the knife wound in his back. "That will be gone by this evening though."

"Don't jinx it."

Grinning, Mindy held up her hand apologetically. "Sorry. Do you want me to bring you some dinner tomorrow night?" She knew that Danny would have to stay overnight in the hospital so she offered for the next night. Mostly she wanted to be able to see him but given Danny's need for time and space she didn't want to push too much.

"From my recent experience with going under anesthesia I can't imagine I'll be eating much of anything tonight. I have no clue how I'll feel tomorrow." Danny's tone and face both reflected his disgust and dismay so clearly that Mindy knew his answer was purely about the after effects of his recent surgeries and had nothing to do with wanting to keep her away but before she could respond she saw Danny look up past the phone. "Sounds like SuperSEAL is here."

"I thought he wasn't supposed to be there for another hour?"

"When does Steve ever do what he's supposed to do?"


	110. Chapter 110

A/N Another year and I'm still not done with this story. I apologize (again) that my posts are only coming every 3 or 4 weeks but I am doing the best I can. It doesn't help that I was completely distracted by episodes 8.9, 8.10 and 8.11. What an amazing triumvirate. Now my mind is filled with related episode tags and missing scenes. I hope to write and post at least one of them because this fandom seems to need some non-slash stories related to those beautifully bromantic episodes. We'll see what time I have. My life is blessedly full.

Merry Christmas. Mele Kalikimaka. A happy, blessed 2018 to all.

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.

H50 H50 H50

"Don't they teach you how to tell time in the Army?" Danny grumbled as Steve walked in, not even commenting about the fact that he didn't even knock first. Their friendship was way beyond that.

"Navy, Danny," Steve responded with a grin as Mindy laughed on the other end of the line.

"Who are we talking to?" Steve asked, as he began to walk around behind his partner.

"Who are we talking to? We aren't talking to anybody. I am. Aren't you supposed to be swimming around the island?" Danny asked with a shake of his head and a heavy sigh. He tried to move away but sitting in the chair with one working hand which was holding the phone, he couldn't get up fast enough and before he could get away Steve was behind him forcing him back down. There went his box of donuts.

Steve leaned over his shoulder to look at the phone screen, a big grin spreading across his face. "Oh, hi, Mindy."

"Hi, Steve." She returned the smile.

Danny rolled his eyes. "Did you run your marathon yet this morning, Steven?" he asked, even though he knew it was a hopeless cause. Steve was here, scattering his box of virtual donuts across the floor. Whether he swam or ran this morning or not didn't matter. He wasn't leaving.

With Danny surrendering to the inevitable, the three chatted for a short time before Mindy had to go to work. "Steve, please let me know as soon as you hear something. If I'm tied up and can't answer, just leave a message," she requested.

"Of course, Mindy," Steve assured her.

"Good luck today. I'll be thinking of you," Mindy told Danny.

"Thank you and thanks for the box of donuts," Danny told her, sure that she would understand and that it would also get a rise out of Steve.

Steve didn't fail to disappoint. "Donuts? You had donuts?" he shouted at Danny. "You're not supposed to eat before the surgery. Mindy, you know better."

Mindy and Danny both laughed. "I have to get to work, Danny. I'll leave you to it."

"You're deserting me," he joked, the play of words not lost on Mindy.

"You got us into this mess," she replied with a playful little flick of her tongue that did all kinds of crazy things to Danny's insides.

As Steve continued to grumble about donuts, Danny ended the call. Placing the phone down, he rose from his chair and turned to Steve who was standing staring at him with his arms akimbo. "Cool your jets Rambo. It was just a joke, okay? No donuts or other food or drink were consumed by me since you left last night." He held up his left hand, palm out. "Scout's honor."

"Gracie said you were kicked out of boy scouts," Steve challenged with a smirk.

Danny rolled his eyes and grinned back, finding the teasing banter calming. "My daughter has a big mouth."

"So, what's this with you and Mindy and donuts?"

"Nothing," Danny said, heading down the hall to his room. "I need to get dressed."

"Hold on. Clothes can wait."

"Says the guy who rips his shirt off any chance he gets," Danny said as he tried to close the door to his room.

Steve reached his hand out and stopped the door, pushing his way inside against his injured partner. "So talk to me while you're getting dressed. You can do that, right?"

"I am perfectly capable of multitasking."

"So?"

"So, what?"

"So, talk, Danno."

"Okay, I'll talk," Danny replied, pulling a clean pair of shorts from his closet. "Why are you here?"

"We were talking about Mindy and donuts."

"No, Steven, you were talking about Mindy and donuts. I told you it was nothing. Ergo, end of subject." Using his one hand, Danny began to change his shorts.

"Nothing is nothing, Danny."

"Very profound. What does that even mean?"

Steve was impressed with how quickly Danny could now get dressed with only one working hand. His best friend had worked hard at adapting to his handicap. "Is there some kind of special meaning that only you and Mindy know?" Steve couldn't let it drop. He hated not knowing what was going on, especially when it came to his best friend.

"You're jealous," Danny said with sudden awareness, shorts on but still shirtless.

"I am not," Steve defended lamely.

"Yes, you are." He reached for a shirt and began the slow process of getting it on. "You can't handle not knowing something, especially about me. You have this inexplicable obsession with me."

"I do not." Steve protested before turning to pleading. "Come on. Just tell me." He reached to help Danny but stopped at the warning glare, remembering what he and Mindy had determined about Danny's need to have control over as much as he could. Dressing himself, albeit slower than two handed people, was one thing that, for the most part, he could do for himself.

Feeling satisfied that Steve knew that Danny knew that Steve was indeed a bit jealous of his "secret" with Mindy, Danny relented as he continued with the shirt. It wasn't anything particularly personal or necessarily secret. Still, he kept his explanation simple and stated it in a way that Steve would like. "It's just her way of telling me not to be so negative."

"Donuts?"

"Yep, donuts."

"There's a story there."

"Not a story per se, just an allegory."

"And donuts mean …?"

"Good things. Donuts mean good things."

"Couldn't you have used malasadas?"

Danny threw his discarded shorts at his friend in pretend disgust. Typical Steve trying to have things his way - his Hawaiian way. "I'm from Jersey. A cop from Jersey. It's all about the donuts." Danny went back to buttoning his shirt, a process complicated by his aching wrist. "You'll call Mindy with any news, right?"

"I said I would," he replied with a knowing look, tossing the shorts back onto Dany's bed.

"What's with the face?"

"What face?"

"That face." He pointed at Steve with his left hand and then returned to the laborious process of buttoning his buttons. "That smug look."

"I'm not being smug. I'm just surprised that you haven't pushed Mindy completely away, after what you were saying the other day and all."

Danny shook his head, giving up on the buttons halfway up. "Don't start, okay? Not now. I can't do this now." Danny's tone was serious and offered a hint of exhaustion and pain.

"Why not now?" Steve asked, concerned, knowing from Danny's tone that things had turned away from banter. Danny often turned on a dime.

"Because in a few frigging hours they're going to put me under again and cut me open again and all sorts of things can go wrong. So, I'm kind of freaking out, okay? So just leave the Mindy stuff for another time. Or better yet, just leave the Mindy stuff alone completely."

An hour later they were in the hospital and, after signing (left-handed) what seemed like a full ream of electronic papers, Danny now had to remove all his clothing except his boxer shorts in preparation for the surgery.

"I don't know about you but it feels like I just stood in your house watching you take a couple hours to put on these same clothes that you're now taking a couple of hours to take off," Steve said, using banter to distract his rather distraught partner as he helped him out of the sling.

"Would you have preferred that I came in nothing but my boxers?" Danny asked as he began unbuttoning his shirt, foregoing the argument that if Steve hadn't arrived so early and then barged into this room he would not have had to wait for Danny to get dressed at all, much less watch him do it. "Wait, don't answer that. You're an animal. You see no need for clothing, except for cargo pants but that's only because you need the pockets for your bowie knife, hand grenades and rocket launchers."

Steve stifled a smile, knowing he had managed to get Danny somewhat distracted with one of his rants. "Rocket launcher's, Danny? Really? And I don't carry hand grenades either."

"Oh, that's right. You put those in my glove box where my kids can find them," Danny growled.

"I always lock it."

"And next year when Grace starts driving and has a key, what then?"

"I can't believe you're even bringing that up."

"I know. Shoot me now and put me out of my misery, huh?"

Steve sighed. Banter was over and Danny was serious and anxious again.

When Danny was finished they needed to wait until the orderlies came to bring him to the operating room. As was his nature, Danny couldn't sit still, pacing barefoot, and wearing nothing but his boxers, around the small room. Steve was surprised that his practically-naked partner wasn't complaining about being chilly in the well air-conditioned room before remembering that the cold was one thing that the New Jersey native never complained about.

"Would you do me a favor?" Danny asked suddenly.

"Is this where you say that if something goes wrong I should tell Grace, Charlie and Mindy that Danno loves them?"

"No, they already know that," Danny replied, unwittingly including Mindy in the sentiment. "Besides, I'm the one that's supposed to be worried about things going wrong and you're supposed to be telling me it will all be fine."

"Ah, but now you have this malasadas thing going."

"Donuts."

"Yeah, okay, donuts. So, you're all Mister Positive now, so what do you need?"

"I need you to get lost."

"What?"

"You heard me. Get lost. Get out of here. Go away." Danny paused a moment as he looked at his best friend. "Stop with the aneurism face. I just want you to go home and take some time for yourself or spend some time with Lynn."

"But the surgery…"

"The surgery is in the very capable hands of the surgeons. They study a long, long time to be able to cut people open."

"I have your medical proxy," Steve argued.

"Now you're being the negative one again."

"Just cautious. You're always telling me to be cautious. I need to be here in case they need to speak to me."

Danny grabbed his cell phone from the table and waved it in front of Steve's face. "There's this amazing new invention called a cell phone. They can reach you wherever you are. Just don't go climbing a mountain with no cell service again and you'll be fine."

Steve crossed his arms defiantly across his chest. "I'm not leaving while you're in surgery, okay?"

Danny nodded in understanding, knowing he wouldn't leave Steve either if the situation was reversed. "Fair enough. Leave when it's over."

"But…"

"But nothing. I don't need to see your face the moment I wake up. I'll be nauseous enough as it is." He really, really wasn't looking forward to that part. He hoped that this time he wouldn't suffer the same nauseating, room-spinning aftershocks of surgical anesthesia but the possibility was there. "And I don't need a bucket holder either."

Steve stared at him. Most people wilted under Steve's steely glare, but not Danny. He never had. That unflinching courage was one of the major reasons why Steve had hijacked him as his partner.

"Please Steve," Danny pleaded. "You've done so much for me and I know it's cutting into your time with Lynn." He held up his left hand, halting Steve's false denial. "Don't even try to deny it. On New Year's Day you left Lynn and came to my house to check on my wrist."

"She was still sleeping," Steve protested.

"Even worse. For Pete's sake Steven, promise me you'll stay away."

Steve remained silent, not really sure what to say. Danny had a point but he didn't want to turn his back on his friend. He had never told this to anyone but he had never had a friend like Danny before and knew that there would never be another friendship like this again.

"Look, I'm in good hands here," Danny continued. "They'll change my dressings, take my blood pressure, do my physical therapy, pump me full of the good stuff, empty my puke bucket and even help me to the 'head'. That's what you Army guys call it, right?"

"Navy, Danny," Steve replied, trying not to worry about Danny's comment about the puke bucket. He hoped Danny didn't have such a virulent reaction to the anesthesia again.

"I'm going to need your help when I get out of here, whether I like it or not so come on partner, just do me a solid, okay?" Danny pleaded, pausing a moment as the door opened and the technicians came in to get him ready. "Okay?"

Seeing how much it meant to Danny and remembering how Danny needed to feel that he had control of some aspects of his life, Steve relented, albeit reluctantly. "Okay."

"Okay? You'll get lost? You'll take some time for yourself? Spend some time with Lynn?" Danny moved onto the gurney and leaned against the upright back.

"Can't fit too much in, Danno. It's only one night."

"Hopefully," Danny mumbled, trying to think of donuts as the technicians began to connect wires while a nurse inserted an IV in the crook of his good arm. "If you're a good little SEAL I'll let you drive me home when they let me out of here," Danny told Steve over the ruckus. "Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Steve said as they led him out of the room. He didn't even get a chance to wish Danny good luck.


	111. Chapter 111

A/N A huge thank you to Danno Dot Mode (replace the word Dot with the character) for the tribute to this story in one of your amazing Instagram posts. I truly appreciate the compliment and the support and the "advertising" you gave me. I am equally a fan of your editing talents and the way you bring the show alive in your posts. I recommend every Hawaii Five-0 fan to follow Danno Dot Mode on Instagram. A special welcome to any new readers who are now reading my little story.

A/N I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters. I am not a doctor or a medical professional. I relied solely on internet research and a story I heard years ago. These disclaimers apply to all chapters of this story. I'm tired of posting them and I'm sure you're tired of reading them. lol

A/N I'm sorry that it took me a month to post again. I'm really, really trying to get more writing time but now I have something else to divide my time as we have a new puppy in the family. Leo is a Westy CavaPoo and is the cutest little mutt you've ever seen. We adopted him from a family whose dog had puppies and they couldn't handle keeping the litter. He needed a home. We couldn't say no.

H50 H50 H50

Music. Danny heard music. Good music. Bruce Springsteen. He enjoyed it for a bit. Steve would hate it; he had no taste in music. That made Danny enjoy it even more.

But there were voices too. They were ruining the music, one bad voice singing along, others talking over it. It was annoying. He couldn't quite decipher what was being said but he knew there were several different people. He tried to focus but it was difficult. His brain was foggy, cloudy. What were they saying? Like pea soup. Who was there? He didn't like pea soup. Where was he anyway?

It was cold. Very cold. Soup would warm him up. But not pea soup. He hated pea soup - ever since his last surgery when he woke up in a nauseating swirl of pea soup.

He tried to gather his disorganized thoughts, but it was like raking leaves in a hurricane. Everytime he felt like he was gaining ground everything would twirl and tumble away, scattering again, reds, oranges and yellows swirling through his mind. He reached for them, or tried to anyway, and realized that he couldn't move. Not just his right arm - he couldn't move at all. He tried to open his eyes to see and realized he couldn't do that either. The lights were bright, though. He could tell that with his eyes closed.

Slowly, the words around him began to take shape. Unable to see or move he struggled to focus on the words. Scalpel. Basketball. Clamp. Muscle. Lakers.

The words made no sense together and he tried to sort them out but now somebody had started hammering in his head and he was helpless to stop it. He battled over the pounding, trying to focus, trying to think. He was a detective, wasn't he? It was his job to put pieces together and come up with answers.

The thought came to him - operating room. He dismissed the idea. There was no way. He wouldn't be awake and hearing anything if they were in the OR. But he definitely was not at a basketball game. There was music, but it was in the background. He could make out the song, a very old, rarely played Springsteen song. Ballad of Jesse James. Most people had never even heard of it. How was he hearing it now? Maybe he was dead and had gone to heaven? Did they play Springsteen music in heaven? They played harps in heaven, right? Springsteen on a harp? He thought angels played on harps but there were no harps now. Only Bruce and his music. No harps. Couldn't be heaven. Besides, his head pounding in pea soup felt more like hell.

Maybe he had too much to drink? That couldn't be right. He had been a good boy and followed doctor's orders, unlike his control freak best friend.

Maybe he had been hit over the head in some takedown that Steve had insisted on entering with no back-up? Well, Steve always had back-up - that was Danny. Danny was the one left with no back-up because he was the backup. Yeah, that must be it. It was Rambo's fault.

But, no! Danny again remembered that he wasn't even on active duty. He was injured, stabbed in the back, his arm not functioning. So, he couldn't blame this on his Neanderthal partner. Crap. What the hell was going on?

Somebody asked to change the music and the lousy singing paused and a high-pitched voice gave a resounding no. There were comments and laughter and teasing but the voice held firm and the off-key singing resumed.

Somebody help me, please, Danny screamed inside his head.

Then the other words continued. Retraction. Suction. Sutures. It didn't make sense. He knew he was supposed to have surgery today, but he knew he was lying on his back. He could sense that somehow. Why would he be on his back when they were operating on the hole in his back? He had been on his stomach when they put him under. Maybe they were done and he was in recovery? But why would he be on his back and why would they be speaking of scalpels and suction? Augh. It was too confusing. What the hell was going on?

The full realization struck him then - hard. He was not at a basketball game or a concert or in recovery and clearly not in heaven. He was most definitely in the operating room, on the operating table. The doctors were listening to music and talking while doing his surgery - operating on the wrong part of his body. He was awake and the doctors didn't know it. It was unfathomable, but he knew it was true.

Then the feelings came. Cutting. Pressure. Tugging, Pulling. Pain, not too much but it was there.

"Stop!" He tried to yell but he couldn't form words, couldn't make his body respond in any way.

"You're operating on the wrong spot." He began to panic, terrified about what they were doing to him, why they were operating on his stomach, why he was aware of all of this.

"Stop! I'm awake," he shouted soundlessly. He couldn't believe this was happening.

As his heart raced, the last thought he had before everything went black again was - I must be dying.

HHH

Outside in the waiting room, Steve paced, checking his watch routinely. The surgery was taking longer than the the doctors had estimated. Why was it taking so long? What had happened? Steve wasn't a worrier by nature, not like Danny was, but over the past few months Danny had been living his own version of Murphy's Law, ("Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong") and there was nothing Steve could do about it. He just hoped that there wasn't something else happening now to add to Danny's woes just as things were starting to look up for him.

Feeling his phone vibrate, he pulled it out of his pocket and checked the text. He smiled softly. It was Mindy asking if he had any news. Responding the same way he had when Grace, Clara and Lou had each made the same query, he texted back telling her that there was no news yet and assuring her that he would let her know as soon as he heard anything. Putting the phone back in his pocket, Steve scrubbed his hands down his face, wishing he had something to do to pass the time, but he had answered all of his emails and made all of his calls and all he had left to do was wait.

He sat down and pulled his phone out again, opening up Toast's Poopy Penguins game that he had put on there for Charlie. He played for all of 15 seconds before he couldn't sit still any longer. Shoving it back in his pocket he stood up and paced.

He chuckled softly as he thought of what Danny would say if he saw him like this. His partner would make some comment about him looking like he was ready to blow something up. Actually, Steve thought, Danny wouldn't be far from the truth. He looked at his watch again. Another whole minute had passed. What the hell was going on?


	112. Chapter 112

A/N I really tried to get this chapter done sooner. Real life and puppy needs are limiting my writing time dramatically. Now, we have puppy training classes on the one evening that is my best shot at having time to write. Writing (especially Danny stories) is my joy and my stress reliever so I will not give up on this story. It's just a slower process than it used to be and slower than I'd like. Thank you for bearing with me.

H50 H50 H50

By the time the doctor arrived in the waiting room, Steve had worked up a healthy Danny dose of anxiety. The former SEAL liked to be in control of things and if he couldn't be in control he at least liked being fully informed about what was happening. When Danny's surgery dragged on much longer than originally anticipated and nobody came to tell him why, he felt completely helpless. With his beloved partner's voice ringing in his ear, telling him to play nice, he bit back the urge to jump down the doctor's throat with a quick, 'What the hell took you so long?'

"How is he? What took so long?" Steve burst out of his chair before the doctor reached his side, startling the poor woman. Well, he had intended to play nice.

"Isn't this where Danny tells you to relax in some creative way that only he could come up with?" the petite surgeon asked with an easy smile. She had seen the two of them together numerous times as Steve had brought Danny to his appointments.

Steve let out the breath he was holding and chuckled as he nodded his head. "He'd probably tell me 'down boy' and say I was acting like a Neanderthal animal. Sorry Doc." He gestured to a chair and they sat down next to each other, both exhausted from the last few hours.

"Danny's fine," the doctor began. "He's in recovery and he'll begin waking up soon, although it will be some time before he can think and speak with full clarity."

"Danny rarely speaks with full clarity," Steve told her wryly.

Shaking her head with amusement, she returned his smile. "The surgery was successful but we did have to change course from our original plan."

"That was the delay?"

"Yes. We needed to create two donor sites instead of just one. Along with the original site on his lower back where we took skin and tissue, we needed to take muscle from his abdomen to replace muscle lost to the infection."

Steve scrubbed his face with his hands and sighed as he processed the information. "So, he has three wounds now."

"Yes. I'm sorry. We were hoping to avoid this but when we got in there we had no choice."

"No. No. I understand." He sighed again. He and Danny had both been fully informed that this was a slim possibility. "He just can't seem to catch a break."

"Well, the surgery was a success, the wounds are all closed and we will aggressively treat him to prevent another infection."

"Can he still go home tomorrow?" That was what they were all hoping for before the surgery began.

The doctor hesitated. "We'll have to see about that." Her tone clearly indicated that it was unlikely to happen.

Steve dropped his chin to his chest. Danny would not be happy about that. Neither would Grace or Charlie.

"You don't need to be the one to tell him that. I'll take care of it," she soothed.

"You want to tell his kids, too?" Steve asked facetiously.

"I can if you want me to."

Steve smiled gratefully, but declined the offer. "No, that's okay. I'll head over there as soon as I leave here."

That took the surgeon by surprise but she didn't question him.

Steve felt the need to explain anyway, trying to quell the feeling that he was abandoning his partner by leaving. "He made me promise not to stick around. He said he's in good hands here, and I don't doubt that for a second. He said he'll be needing quite a bit of help again when he gets out so he made me promise to go home when the surgery was finished and come back tomorrow."

"Sounds like a wise plan. I'll leave you to it then," the doctor said as she rose from her seat.

Steve rose beside her. "Uh, Doc, if you don't mind I'd just like to check on him before I go."

The surgeon gave him a knowing smile.

"His kids will ask me how he looks so I need to be able to answer them," Steve explained.

"You can tell them he looks like he's sleeping." Steve tilted his head and she laughed before continuing. "Go on. He's in recovery. You know where it is," she told him as she went back to work.

Fifteen minutes later Steve held to his promise and walked out of the hospital, leaving his still unconscious partner behind. He had already texted the team, now he would call Clara and Eddy and then Mindy from his truck while he drove to Rachel's house. There, he would tell Grace and Charlie about the surgery in person and answer any questions they may have. Based on the hour he doubted that Stan would be home yet. Too bad, he thought, because observing the dynamic between Rachel and Stan now that he had dropped the lawsuit would be interesting.

Not too long after Steve left, Danny began the long, slow, arduous process of waking up. The first few times Danny awoke, his body stirred and his eyes fluttered. He heard sounds that he couldn't recognize and then he drifted back to sleep, not remembering anything.

The next time Danny stirred, his eyes fluttered open and he battled to focus on the blinking monitors he was facing as he laid on his side. Failing that, he managed a fairly clear view of the curtained partition behind them. He heard a voice calling his name and he struggled to reply. Unable to form a coherent response and leery of the queasiness bubbling up inside him and the tingling in his back, he shut his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

Twenty minutes later he moaned as his stomach churned and his back tingled, dragging him out of his blissful sleep into begrudging awareness. After the nausea, his hearing was the first of his senses to return - squeaking footsteps, rolling carts, beeping machines, blaring pages. Ugh. They all made him even more nauseous.

When he managed to open his eyes in the dimly lit room, everything looked like pea soup. He really hated pea soup, ever since his last surgery. The thought of pea soup made him gag. His stomach was empty, since he had been a good little boy and followed the doctor's instructions precisely, so there was nothing to bring up. When his stomach settled again, he returned to sleep.

When the aide came to check his vitals, he awoke again. This time to full awareness. His stomach was roiling. His back tingled like a thousand bees were battling to break through the wall of skin to make their escape. He shifted slightly to escape the feeling but managed only to ignite a flame in his lower back and awaken the wounds in his abdomen and upper back, causing him to gasp in pain.

The aide tried to soothe him, urging him to remain still and calm and that he would be receiving something for the pain after the doctor checked him, although she couldn't tell him exactly when that would be. Desperate for her to leave him be, he mentioned the nerve pain that had been his constant companion since his first awakening, which seemed like hours ago. Still groggy from the anesthesia, he had a bit of trouble explaining himself coherently. Unable to fully understand him, the aide tried to help, stroking his hair, asking him questions and fidgeting with his covers, the wires, the bandages - anything, everything - to try and help. She had no idea that it all made things worse. He wanted to be left alone to battle the nerve attack on his own but that wasn't happening.

When she finally left, his mind still muzzy, he battled through the fog to try and focus his thoughts on something else, besides the incessant nerve pain assaulting his back.

That's when things got worse.

So much worse.

That's when he remembered.

The operating room.

The music.

The voices.

The bright lights.

The cold.

Lying on his back.

Unable to move.

Unable to see.

Unable to speak.

Thinking he was dead.


	113. Chapter 113

A/N Well, I'm finally posting another chapter. I am so, so sorry that these are taking so long lately but fear not. I will not abandon this story. Real life (in particular several family members with upper respiratory infections and a puppy with stomach issues) has kept me insanely busy. I wanted to give this one more read through but I was afraid that if I did, I would start changing things and then I wouldn't finish it and I'd run out of time to post it tonight and who knows when I'll have time to work on it again. On the other hand, I don't think I would have changed a thing, so here goes.

H50 H50 H50

The next day. The afternoon of the day after the surgery...

Hearing his cell phone ring, Danny managed to find it and pick it up, thankful that the helpful nursing aide had moved it within easy reach for him since moving caused pain in so many places and his right arm was still totally useless. He glanced at the caller ID and tapped the screen. "Hey," he muttered.

"Hey Danno," Steve said over the line. "How are you feeling?"

Danny felt horrible. He couldn't stop thinking about the voices he remembered. Were they real? Was it really the operating team that he heard? Every time he dozed off that memory came roaring back and reared its ugly head- awake on the operating table and unable to speak or move. How had it happened? Had he died and heard voices?

Beyond that, his arm still didn't work, his head was pounding, the nausea was lingering and the tormenting, tingling nerves were mild but incredibly unrelenting. There was acute pain in his upper back, where they had used patchwork grafts to finally close the stab wound, and in his lower right abdomen where they had taken a piece of muscle to rebuild his back. The area on his right lower back, just below his waistline, was the donor site for the skin graft that now covered his original wound. It felt like an amplified version of road rash, leaving Danny to wonder. Had he wiped out on a motorcycle while riding naked?

"Peachy," he rasped in response, rather than ask Steve that embarrassing rhetorical question.

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I feel like road kill. Is that what you want to hear?" Danny growled.

"I want to hear the truth," Steve pushed.

"Well, you just did." Danny sighed painfully.

"That bad, huh?"

"There's a really bad case of road rash on my lower back and my abdomen feels like somebody hacked a chunk of muscle out of my gut..."

"Probably because that's what they did," Steve replied empathetically.

"Exactly."

"And the nerve pain?"

"As persistent as a mosquito."

That didn't sound fun. Knowing that Danny usually found the nerve attacks easier to handle in quiet surroundings, Steve made an offer. "I was just checking in. I can hang up if you want."

"No. No. It's okay. This hasn't stopped since I woke up from the surgery. Hanging up won't help." Besides, Danny appreciated anything that kept him awake and away from the horrible nightmares of waking up in surgery. The wakeful memories were bad enough.

"Okay. Hey, I spoke to the kids," Steve told him, trying to head towards something cheerier.

"Are they okay?" Danny asked in a worried tone.

"Of course. Why wouldn't they be?"

"I don't know. I don't know. It's just…"

"Hey, they're fine, okay? You've raised good kids, Danny."

"Reared," Danny muttered, hissing as a particularly strong wave of pain washed over him.

"What?"

"Reared. You rear children. You raise vegetables," Danny grunted through the pain while correcting his partner's English.

"Vegetables?" Steve asked, surprised by the comment and unsure if he had heard correctly, but then he went on. "They had a few questions about you and I assured them you were alright."

"Thanks. They tend to worry, you know."

Steve knew that. Well, he knew that Danny said that. He wasn't quite sure how much of that was really the kids worry and how much was Danny projecting. "Yeah. Anytime buddy. They send their love and I'll bring them as soon as they're allowed in." In order to help avoid another problem infection, the doctors were limiting Danny's visitors for the time being. To that end, children, and the germs that often accompanied them, were strictly off limits right now. There was a short list of other visitors and they needed to be in good health and wash carefully before entering.

"Thanks." Danny uttered softly, his thoughts quickly returning to the same memory that had plagued him since the surgery. "Uh Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I, uh, die?" Danny asked hesitantly.

Steve was taken aback by that abrupt change of subject and the hesitancy apparent in his best friend's voice. "What?"

"Did I die?"

"What? Do you think you're talking to me from heaven?" Steve laughed, confused.

"If I was dead and talking to you I most certainly wouldn't be in heaven." Danny retorted in his trademark sarcastic style. "I mean in the OR. Did I die and they brought me back or something?"

"No, of course not." Then Steve sighed, putting two and two together. "Is this about the voices again?"

"I heard them talking, Steve," he replied defensively. The first time Danny had mentioned this in an earlier phone call, Steve had told him it was impossible. But the memory was clear and it wasn't going away and it was getting scary. "There in the O.R., I heard them. I thought I was dead."

"Well, you didn't die, or even come close."

"So, if I didn't die, then I must have been awake."

"During your surgery, Danny?" They had discussed this twice already but Steve humored him a third time around.

"Yeah."

"Like in some made-for-TV movie?" Well, he sort of humored him, sort of mocked him.

"I'm serious, Steve. They were talking - the doctors and nurses. One of them thinks the Lakers will go all the way this year."

"You're hallucinating."

"And they were playing Springsteen music."

"Now I know you were hallucinating."

"I'm not hallucinating, Steve. I heard them, while they were cutting that piece of muscle out of my abdomen. I heard them talking about basketball and somebody asked to change the music."

"Of course somebody would ask to change the music. You said it was Springsteen."

"Are you being intentionally obtuse?"

"Look Danny, you've been given a healthy dose of the good stuff. Your mind is just playing tricks on you."

"My mind is not playing tricks on me. I had them cut the painkiller dose so it's not that."

"You did what?"

"You heard me. You kept telling me it was the drugs and those things give me the biggest freaking headache anyway so I had them lower the dose. The memory is still clear as day."

"Not just the drugs," Steve tried now. "You've been under a lot of stress and your body has been exposed to anesthesia and pain meds and the renewed nerve attacks and blood pressure problems. It's just too much."

Danny huffed out his breath, wincing at the pain it caused. He didn't know which was worse, the physical pain from the surgery or the mental/emotional trauma these memories were inciting. Perhaps, it was his best friend not believing him. "I'm not making this up." Danny really needed Steve to believe him. The memories were now haunting not only his sleep but nearly every waking moment as well. But, if Steve didn't believe him, nobody would.

"I know you're not," Steve told him.

"Really?" Danny asked, hopefully.

"Really. You really believe it happened."

Danny almost growled, body tensing and twisting with his passionate response. "I believe it happened because it did happen, Steven." He gasped then, the pain from the sudden movement nearly overwhelming him, triggering the nausea and causing his head to spin and his vision to gray out at the edges. He moaned in pain.

"Danny? Danny?" Unable to see, Steve called through the line worriedly. He could tell his friend was in pain. "Push the pain button, buddy. Just breathe through it. Come on. You can do it."

As Steve continued his supportive litany, Danny grunted a few unintelligible responses until finally he was able to form a coherent word. "Damn."

"You okay?"

"I hope they put that SOB away for life," Danny said in reply, referring to the man who had tried to kill him months earlier and brought on all this ongoing pain.

"Me too, buddy. You feeling better now?"

"Better than what?" Danny answered wryly.

Steve smiled softly. Man he loved this snarky friend of his. "Better than five minutes ago when you were moaning like a bitch."

Danny smiled. "I hate you, babe. You know that?" Man, he loved this obnoxious friend of his.

"Yeah Danno, I do."

"It really happened, you know." That quickly Danny's thoughts returned to those mind numbing memories as they once again flashed through his mind. "I was awake, for real."

"If you say so."

"If I say so? If I say so?" Danny repeated angrily.

"I know you're not lying to me," Steve hedged his explanation.

"No, I'm not lying to you. Why would I lie to you?"

"You wouldn't," Steve agreed.

"Then why don't you believe me?"

Steve was frustrated. What Danny was saying was ridiculous yet he was refusing to back down. His frustration got the better of him. "Because it's crazy, Danny."

"Crazy?" Danny paused a moment and when Steve didn't say anything he finally accepted that Steve would never believe him. Nobody would believe him. He'd have to deal with this on his own. So, he told his best friend what he wanted to hear. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Did I hear correctly?" Steve said with a playful voice, relieved that Danny was finally letting it go. "Did Danny Williams say I was right?"

"Maybe you're right," Danny protested. A loud voice in his head wouldn't even let him pretend to back down completely.

"No, no. You can't take it back now. You said it."

"What, are you five? 'No take backs'? Seriously?" Danny laughed weakly, trying to keep things light.

"I wish I had recorded it," Steve told him.

"Yeah," Danny replied, with nothing else to say. "You sure the kids are alright?" he asked, suddenly worried about them again and knowing the other subject was permanently closed. He couldn't shake the feeling of dread.

"They're fine," Steve assured him. "Same as the five thousand other times you asked me earlier."

"My parents? They're okay?"

"Yes, they're fine, too. Didn't you speak to them a little while ago?"

"Yeah, yeah I did." Danny yawned.

"Hey, listen. Why don't I let you go so you can get some sleep?"

"I'm not tired," Danny lied. He couldn't very well tell Steve that he couldn't sleep because of the memories of the voices. Steve already thought he was crazy. Silence filled the line again, neither really knowing what to say. Danny didn't want to close the call because, as exhausted as he was, lying there alone would cause him to doze off and dozing off would make the memories come roaring back. They haunted his sleep as well as his waking hours. He went with a work related question to keep the call going. "So what are you working on now?"

"You're supposed to be resting, Danny, not worrying about work.

"I don't intend to go out in the field. Just tell me about it."

"I told you this morning."

"Update me."

"Lou's following up on the leads. Chin and Kono went to interview a person of interest."

"Alone?" Danny asked nervously.

"No. There are two of them. Danny would you stop worrying? I swear you're worse than ever."

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"You had a bad feeling about me going to question that guy this morning and everything was fine."

"Yeah well, this is different. What about Jerry? He okay?"

Jerry? "He's fine, too Danny. And before you ask, Mindy is fine, as well. Wonderful, in fact. Actually, everybody is fine, Danny," Steve huffed in annoyance, "and if anything happens to anybody, which it won't, I'll make sure you're the first to know, alright? So, you can stop asking."

"Yeah. Yeah sure," Danny agreed, a little put out by Steve's dismissive tone.

There was an awkward silence until Steve spoke again. "Well, I really have to get going. You behave, huh? Don't drive those nurses crazy."

Danny didn't want to end the call but knew he couldn't stay on forever. He'd just have to find another way to stay awake for now. "You're still coming tonight to watch the game, right?"

Steve felt bad that Danny was stuck there alone and that the fact that he had to stay another night or more wasn't sitting well with him. Yet, he knew that if he came he would be subjected to even more discussion of the preposterous idea that Danny was awake during part of his surgery. On top of that he'd have to deal with the increased anxiety his best friend was displaying and his increased crankiness from fatigue and lack of sleep. Danny normally struggled with insomnia but this was beyond that. Steve had dealt with it through three phone calls already and it was not getting any easier. He knew it would multiply exponentially when he was there in person. As these thoughts swept through his mind, Steve kind of wished that Danny had made him promise to stay away longer.

"Steve?" Danny asked when he received no reply.

But, Danny was his best friend. How could Steve say no? How could he stay away any longer than he already had?

"Hey, stop with the face," Danny said.

That got Steve to talk. "We're on the phone, Danny, you can't even see my face."

"I don't need to see your face. I know you, remember? So stop with the face. You don't have to come." Danny could tell by Steve's reticence that there was something he'd rather be doing tonight but he didn't want to offend Danny. "Spend a nice evening with Lynn."

Now Steve felt guilty. "No, I'll come. I'll come," he said in a slightly high-pitched voice while nodding his head. "It'll be fun."

"Fun? Fun? Your idea of fun is cleaning your guns and sharpening your knives. On a good day, it even means blowing things up."

Steve enjoyed this bit of real Danny sneaking through the fatigue and anxiety. "I don't plan on blowing anything up," he replied with the requisite eye roll.

"Well, that's good to know. But, seriously, it's okay. Go have a nice evening with Lynn. She deserves it. And I mean that in a good way because nobody deserves to have to put up with you," Danny joked.

Steve knew this was a great chance to get out of having to deal with Danny's far-fetched story again but he couldn't lie to him. "Lynn has to work late shift."

Danny was relieved. "So that means you're coming?"

"Sure."

"Great. I'll even let you hold the remote." Steve always took control of it anyway so it really wasn't a huge concession.

"Goodbye, Danno."

That evening…

It had now been nearly 32 hours since fully waking from the anesthesia and Danny had not slept more than short cat naps since then. Every time he did fall asleep he would wake in a cold sweat after vivid dreams of being operated on as they removed things from his abdomen. In the dreams he was wide awake but couldn't move or speak. He heard everything, saw everything, smelled everything, and worst of all, felt everything. In those dreams, he tried desperately to call out, to tell the surgeons that he was awake, that he felt everything, to beg them to stop. But he couldn't. He tried with equal desperation to move, to get away from the cutting and pulling and burning. But he couldn't.

Similarly, every time he was awake, the flashbacks haunted him. The memories were as clear as day and every detail was sharp, striking and realistic. They were unbearable, a living nightmare, but they were preferable to the drastic and over-dramatic dreams that plagued his sleep.

The nerve pain continued unabated, relatively mild but unrelenting. His stomach had calmed somewhat and the headache had leveled off to a dull roar. The pain in his back and abdomen was strong, as it is after any surgery but he had been through that pain before and was prepared for it.

But, Danny was tired, so very, very tired. His body needed rest and sleep to heal but he couldn't allow himself to do that. Sleep wasn't peaceful; it was terrorizing. His surgeon had instructed him to get up and move as soon as he could so he had taken that advice and forced himself out of bed and onto his feet numerous times throughout the day. Shuffling down the hall with his left hand wrapped around an iv pole was his best defense against the invasive horrors of sleep. So, he had spent the day walking, painfully and slowly and, to the consternation of the hospital staff, frequently and lengthily.

The aides tried to get him to stop and rest, the nurses tried to get him to stop and rest, the doctor tried to get him to stop and rest. None were successful. Mindy and Kono each managed to get him back to his room and into his bed when they each stopped by but he had dragged himself right back out when they had left.

All day he looked forward to the evening when Steve would come and they would watch the game on TV like they usually did. Well, not exactly like they usually did because they would be in the hospital instead of one of their living rooms and Danny would be eating bland chicken instead of hot, spicy shrimp and drinking apple juice instead of beer. None of that would matter though because the important thing was that he would be with his best friend, the one who would support him no matter what - even though he didn't believe him.

But then, in the time it took to read a text, his day went from miserable and wretched to downright unbearable and totally insufferable.

Steve - his partner, his best friend, his brother, his rock of strength, the one person he really, really needed right now - was too busy to come.


End file.
